5 things I'm not here for

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  • čas přidán 10. 09. 2012
  • 1. techno/dance music pop beats that escalate forever
    2. milk
    3. ads on youtube that i can't skip
    4. boys on instagram/the "salute" pose
    5. pancakes
    i tag you
  • Jak na to + styl

Komentáře • 586

  • @EbTheeAmazon
    @EbTheeAmazon Před 8 lety +535

    Can we have an updated version of this? #kthanks

    • @EbTheeAmazon
      @EbTheeAmazon Před 8 lety +18

      +Evelyn From The Internets Please

    • @jamilabrownie
      @jamilabrownie Před 8 lety +19

      She probably hasn't replied to you because this video is old and she most likely doesn't watch her old stuff anymore at it. You should ask her about it on one of her social media sites instead.

    • @coralaisly
      @coralaisly Před 7 lety +47

      I think it's fair to say that she's not here for that...
      I'll see myself out.

    • @emmaphilo4049
      @emmaphilo4049 Před 7 lety +2

      YESSSSSSS!!!!

    • @ZkrazyCocopuff
      @ZkrazyCocopuff Před 6 lety +1

      Yesss can we

  • @ImaniBrammer
    @ImaniBrammer Před 8 lety +312

    This was TOO real. That crescendo tho? i felt it. I FELT IT.

  • @evjewel
    @evjewel Před 7 lety +73

    "Milk doesn't go with meatloaf ma'am" lmao dead 💀 😂

  • @2hotttt2care
    @2hotttt2care Před 10 lety +61

    "You are not in the army SIR" *Dead*

  • @kristenawhitely
    @kristenawhitely Před 9 lety +77

    OMG!!!! @ the crescendo into oblivion! Gurrrllla, I almost just peed on myself. Literally sitting here crying. I was looking like you holding your chest. I couldn't BREATHE I was laughing so much!

  • @neeks2theworld
    @neeks2theworld Před 10 lety +121

    girl you are HILARIOUS. i was crying at the rihanna we found love part!

    • @HelloMissWits
      @HelloMissWits Před 10 lety +10

      I am still in tears (literally!) about this!

  • @_____114
    @_____114 Před 10 lety +47

    LOL "shout out to music theory"

  • @404Golden
    @404Golden Před 7 lety +10

    "None of this goes" 😂😂😂😂😂

  • @01034599
    @01034599 Před 9 lety +18

    they traumatized me in day care (this has stayed with me for 17+ years) when they would hand out snacks like apple slices and then drop down on the table a jug sized cup of cold milk to wash the apple slices down because that shit goes together and would force you to drink it everyday. i never did and would get in so much trouble. no thank you sir/ ma'am I'll take my punishment.

  • @kailapowell5500
    @kailapowell5500 Před 8 lety +128

    YES TO THE MILK! I remember moving to the US from the Caribbean in the first grade and being forced to eat this godawfu lunch with that godforsaken milk. Where I'm from originally I never ate school lunches, my mother cooked and I went home to eat and I drank juice not that dreadful MILK. I was not a fan and still am not

    • @numberonefan313
      @numberonefan313 Před 7 lety +20

      loll at that dreadful milk

    • @manacrack144
      @manacrack144 Před 7 lety +7

      Kaila Powell I like milk but the damn school milk was shitty ass skim

  • @lisa-nicolesquire852
    @lisa-nicolesquire852 Před 6 lety +3

    Girrrrrrrrrl!! That crescendo into oblivion!!! 😂😂😂

  • @kpacubo.
    @kpacubo. Před 6 lety +2

    CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT THE CRESCENDO INTO OBLIVION. long rises like that can be frustrating haha but i appreciate it in a production perspective

  • @Vidaluz09
    @Vidaluz09 Před 7 lety +6

    'Bc I don't have any friends I tag my damn self..OK?' 20 secs in and im already subscribed 😂

  • @TheYoungthorne
    @TheYoungthorne Před 10 lety +32

    I. AM. CRYING. REAL. TEARS.

  • @OffbeatLook
    @OffbeatLook Před 8 lety +14

    Lmaooo same. I'd have to tag myself in things too :')

  • @melonyemane3474
    @melonyemane3474 Před 7 lety +7

    "You're not in the army sir." ahhhhahahahahahahahhahaha #teamwaffles all the way

  • @tanikaetheridge293
    @tanikaetheridge293 Před 6 lety +3

    Cow juice!!🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 i know im tardy to the party...im new and catching up. Again...u are HILARIOUS!!

  • @olexia07
    @olexia07 Před 10 lety +32

    I agree with all of this. I always hated that scene in home alone with his bed wetting cousin drinking milk with pizza that was spilled all over the place. Cow juice sucks. That salute bite lip eyebrow raise pose that these shirtless bony skinny jean wearing little boys keep doing makes me vomit for 24 hours. And pancakes....always loved waffles more. Don't get the hype.

  • @writerwilliams4156
    @writerwilliams4156 Před 7 lety +13

    Cow juice! My family is team Almond milk and my kids just started at a new pre school. It's like a DHS rule to give kids to servings of cow juice a day. Not my kids. I leave almond milk at the school.

  • @LockedAmbition
    @LockedAmbition Před 12 lety +1

    "Because I don't have any friends...I tagged my darn self!" LOLOL...girl, you had me cracking up!!

  • @bubblegummers84
    @bubblegummers84 Před 8 lety +49

    I'm now stalking your back catalogue and watching things I have already watched. VEDA 2016 withdrawal symptoms... That crescendo you speak of ruins most modern music, you get to a certain point of listening to the trendy radio stations where it all melts into one song! I'm too old for that!

    • @TeaPotForOne
      @TeaPotForOne Před 7 lety +4

      I am now doing the same thing, 1 year later lol. Glad to know I'm not alone.

    • @steviesosa5617
      @steviesosa5617 Před 5 lety

      +Tash Same😃

  • @KaurHealth_
    @KaurHealth_ Před 5 lety +4

    Yea Evelyn I’m officially obsessed with you and your content 🌿✊🏾

  • @thatgirljo2119
    @thatgirljo2119 Před 10 lety +16

    bwahahaha..hear nah everytime I hear a crescendo I think about you....I literally hold my breathe too with that..lol. And yes the 'Salute'....dyinggggggg!!!!

  • @Zigandstuff
    @Zigandstuff Před 10 lety +27

    yesss i hate that 'forehead ripplies' that some guys do on social media pics!

  • @SimoneBrown
    @SimoneBrown Před 9 lety +25

    loved this!
    I'm here for Evelyn!

  • @MissJhane
    @MissJhane Před 8 lety +7

    It has been a few years and I fell into this video... still very funny. And no lying, this past weekend I saw a pic of a guyon facebook doing the salute with hand and eyebrow.. lmao

  • @Lex831me
    @Lex831me Před 8 lety +2

    😂😆 waiting for the crescendo to drop......main reason why I don't listen to pop music.....needed that laugh, here for Evelyn 😁

  • @potterylady1
    @potterylady1 Před 11 lety +1

    "And because I don't have any friends, I tagged my damn self." HAHAHAHA LOL.

  • @MyInvisibleChyrsalis
    @MyInvisibleChyrsalis Před 12 lety +2

    Hahaa! I'm gonna tag myself too, lol. Good to see ya' girl!

  • @spangled_soul
    @spangled_soul Před 7 lety +8

    It's like today I am grateful for CZcams recommendations.

  • @katiewilliams8909
    @katiewilliams8909 Před 6 lety +3

    aw man you had me howling at the crescendo into obliviion! holy fuck ahaha

  • @erinairy
    @erinairy Před 9 lety +1

    Been looking for this video for a while I've seen it before I howled the first time.. After watching this the first time everytime I heard the dance beat escalation made me LLoolll.... Evelyn toooo funnny!!

  • @mirandam8857
    @mirandam8857 Před 5 lety +1

    I been looking for this video for the longest!! That crescendo pop thing had me DYING LAUGHING! lol

  • @destinymonique.
    @destinymonique. Před 7 lety +1

    Dear Evelyn, You're awesome...and you're awesomeness inspires soooo many of us out here to remember to laugh and be awesome too...please continue doing you boo, it's looks good on you. Oh and thank you for taking care of yourself :)

  • @edwinamarie
    @edwinamarie Před 2 lety +1

    It is 2022, I am 28 years old, rewatching this for the first time in forever, and CACKLING.

  • @reginelopez8971
    @reginelopez8971 Před 7 lety

    my new favourite channel, PLEASE MAKE MORE OF THESE!
    I haven't found a funny channel in so long

  • @danniellynn
    @danniellynn Před 7 lety +2

    You're right crescendos do raise your heartbeat because when you're listening to music your heartbeat resonates with the beats per minute in the song. So when it has that never ending crescendo it does mess with your heart and in today's music it's never in a good way.
    And I totally agree with the cow juice lol. What makes me laugh is people will drink milk from a cow but will scrunch their nose up at human breast milk. I'm not saying drink either of them but the idea of drinking something from another species is supposedly cool but people are crazy if they decide to drink from their own species...?

  • @LadyCharity
    @LadyCharity Před 9 lety +3

    LOL!! Too funny...I agreed with everything *except* the part about pancakes!

  • @englishlanguagewithnina5965

    Hahahaha. Yeah, I'm not here for most of this stuff neither! I do get excited about a pancake when there is nothing in the house to eat and you find the mix tho. Evelyn is too creative!!

  • @yvonnedaniels8449
    @yvonnedaniels8449 Před 8 lety +4

    I just laughed so hard at the part about waiting for the beat to finally drop! I scared my coworkers lol

  • @allysehueymusic
    @allysehueymusic Před 8 lety +1

    ....when you dogged pancakes, but then swiftly lifted up the name of waffles. I cried.

  • @candyrain1566
    @candyrain1566 Před 6 lety +1

    Omg the topics are so random but I love it 😭❤️❤️❤️

  • @LegallyNaturalBee
    @LegallyNaturalBee Před 11 lety

    Lol at the crescendo into oblivion! I just flatlined from laughing so hard!! Thanks Ev

  • @anitaknockknock283
    @anitaknockknock283 Před 10 lety +15

    Can I tell you my rants and you can post them? I have a job where white people like to look at your every word and move, but I SO FEEL YOU. I'm a little over 50 years old, so I've got a WHOLE LIST OF SHIT for you to rant about. I'm serious too!!!

  • @cannibalisticrequiem
    @cannibalisticrequiem Před 8 lety

    New subbie here! Going through your old videos, you are seriously hilarious Evelyn! Also, proud Team Waffles member! (Pancakes used to be my thing, but it's been waffles for the last ten years now. xD)

  • @gypsygypsygypsyism
    @gypsygypsygypsyism Před 10 lety

    oh my gosh I am cracking up !!! like . . . I have not ever heard of anyone not liking that part of the music . lmboooo I am cracking up for real !!! You're hilarious yo I don't know how many times I told myself , I love this girl .

  • @SparklingJuice247
    @SparklingJuice247 Před 7 lety +5

    When she said pancakes i was like 😱

  • @nicolesnotebook
    @nicolesnotebook Před 12 lety +1

    YESSSSS I feel like I have to hold my breath or something all the way up until the beat drops! Bahah. "You are not in the army sir. Who are you saluting?" Pure comedic gold. You're so naturally funny and your videos make me happy when I'm not. Yay, you!!! :))

  • @ChikaW
    @ChikaW Před 10 lety +1

    Hahaha the adverts kill me. The struggle of having a music playlist that is always interrupted!!

  • @sunsetnwaves
    @sunsetnwaves Před 11 lety +1

    Laughing to tears with the pop beat heart attack lol

  • @jadelotus4941
    @jadelotus4941 Před 7 lety +9

    LOL! The thing about cow's juice... it's a profitable market. The consumption of animals and their byproducts is not necessary. All that jazz they talk about calcium and protein and what not... is a bold faced lie. But what's the best way to convince people they need something that makes a lot of money for the people who sell it to you? Give it to their kids and tell them it's necessary for them to grow up healthy.

  • @zoeynakya
    @zoeynakya Před 12 lety

    Never stop making vids, you are one on my fave YT'ers. You're hilarious without even trying. :)

  • @HazeGamesArcade
    @HazeGamesArcade Před 6 lety +1

    Waffles are good, but I'd take a pancake over a waffle any day...

  • @kevinkev9021
    @kevinkev9021 Před 11 lety

    Literally DYING!! Love your videos!!

  • @JasmineN16
    @JasmineN16 Před 12 lety

    Lmfaoooo! Those Ad's !!! It's crazy cuz I knew EXACTLY which ones you were talkn' about lol

  • @kiwiwatson3929
    @kiwiwatson3929 Před 8 lety

    just shared this vid on fb. you crack me up evelyn!

  • @MsNaijaPrincess
    @MsNaijaPrincess Před 11 lety

    LOVE this video! LOVE your personality you're hilarious!

  • @yaniebanie
    @yaniebanie Před 10 lety

    100% agree with everything you said.....except the pancakes bit. They're fun & delicious.

  • @sanjones24
    @sanjones24 Před 10 lety +8

    So their eyes look rainbows killed me

  • @SmellPretty
    @SmellPretty Před 7 lety

    New subbie here, i've been binge watching your videos for 3 days now and you are an amazing person, keep up the good work!!😊😊

  • @srlee1000
    @srlee1000 Před 7 lety

    I still love this video! Cracks me up like the first time I saw it!

  • @Candi89
    @Candi89 Před 9 lety

    I cried you are way too funny and that was so true and so hilarious about the crescendo.

  • @JeanSoClassic
    @JeanSoClassic Před 9 lety +3

    Ahahaha...and it's STILL funny two almost 3 years later! AHAHAHA

  • @somaliaford1475
    @somaliaford1475 Před 7 lety +12

    cow juice. 😂

  • @Bree8tiveBEing
    @Bree8tiveBEing Před 10 lety +1

    First of all, Buhahahaaaa! I feel you on 1 through 4, but I gotta admit I play for both teams on number 5. That heart attack though! I heart you so much, you don't even know. I am a milk hater too; they say I am lactose intolerant. I hate that some of the ads are appearing in the middle of videos now, like... this isn't commercial television #fallback. I just can't with Instagram! When you mentioned the salute! I wanted to bust out running as I busted out laughing because it is so true. Now someone has to rep for team waffles, so I am glad you're taking up the cause, but who is gonna be ambassador for Team French Toast!?! LOL!
    Now, 5 things I am not here for:
    1. When you're at the grocery store standing in line for a whole school year and they open a new lane, but the dudes that just got in line go to the new lane first. Like what!?!?! That's not fair! You didn't persevere with us through all these centuries; where were you when we had to wait on that price check!?! Where were you when they had to go run and see if that item was actually on sale? Where were you when they had to call the manager to come push a button and turn a little key so that the cashier could keep ringing? Where were you when that person started paying with a check!?!?! You weren't there! You don't know the struggle!
    Oooh okay so yeah, that is all, that is it, that is preeety much 1 through 5 of what I am not here for.

  • @hatrgatr
    @hatrgatr Před 10 lety

    Loool when you started off talking about pop songs crescendoing, my mind went straight to that Rihanna song that you ended up playing haha

  • @joy7wonders
    @joy7wonders Před 12 lety

    lmao!!! Had to fav this! My jaws are hurting from laughing so hard! I live for your comedy!! I agree with you on everything you said!

  • @im.kern.zentrum
    @im.kern.zentrum Před 8 lety

    you are wonderfully thoughtfully hilarious

  • @gb8437
    @gb8437 Před 6 lety +2

    Girrl no with this crescendo.😂😂😂

  • @meriani777
    @meriani777 Před 8 lety +7

    Adblock for them ads. Ain't nobody got time.

  • @247gwyn
    @247gwyn Před 11 lety

    You had me at the escalating crescendo. Lol!

  • @karinrankin5871
    @karinrankin5871 Před 6 lety +2

    Do y'all have that youtuber that you like so much that you are willing to sit through the commercials you can skip just so you can contribute that $0.02 to their bank account. Evelyn, you are that for me. I refused to skip that stupid Arby's commercial for your benefit. Keep doing amazing work :)

  • @HaloHighlightz
    @HaloHighlightz Před 7 lety +1

    "Why are you forcing this child to drink milk with pizza?"
    I. DIED. #EvelynBinge

  • @Sparklove1
    @Sparklove1 Před 10 lety

    Lmao you're freaking HILARIOUS!! I just subbed. I'm partial to french toast though lol

  • @Tara_686
    @Tara_686 Před 11 lety

    The crescendo(?) to oblivion bit had me so weak hahahahahaha!

  • @umichgal1
    @umichgal1 Před 7 lety

    God bless you for the notations in the description box!

  • @jaz5934
    @jaz5934 Před 8 lety

    that heart attack play out had me flat lining!...get it...heart attack..flat line.. 😂😂😂

  • @heyummrandommuch
    @heyummrandommuch Před 7 lety +1

    I just subscribed!! You are so great omfg

  • @evangeline9969
    @evangeline9969 Před 7 lety +3

    Milk with baked goods, PBJs, choco cake...YASSSS. But nothing savory. Once in college, to experiment, I tried to drink milk with a spaghetti dinner and almost vomited.

  • @raesworld5465
    @raesworld5465 Před 8 lety

    You are so da*n funny! LAWD! My new favorite page *2 thumbs up*

  • @amis418
    @amis418 Před 8 lety

    I'm in actual tears!!! You soooo f ing get me 😩😩😩😹😹

  • @akrishowell23
    @akrishowell23 Před 12 lety

    I love the crescendo into oblivion lololol

  • @LaurenAshleyS
    @LaurenAshleyS Před 6 lety +1

    You are giving me life! LOL love it

  • @ElleBoogieBeauty504
    @ElleBoogieBeauty504 Před 11 lety

    u r tooooo funny..LOL..so animated...i luv it!!!

  • @Ms6xydee
    @Ms6xydee Před 12 lety

    Omg, Evelyn! lololol! My husband and i have been cracking up the whole time! We've been your fans for more than a year now. We absolutely love your videos! But this one was just hilariouuuuss!

  • @SweetGaBrownin
    @SweetGaBrownin Před 12 lety

    omg* drops str out of bed* @ heartattacks with the beats to oblivion..lol yesss, that Simple commercial gets me..lol *faints @ no filter/salutes* Queen everytime I view ya videos, you make my evening..nuff, nuff love!

  • @fuzzyicequeenb5259
    @fuzzyicequeenb5259 Před 7 lety +1

    Crescendo into Oblivion..... funny!

  • @noninie
    @noninie Před 12 lety

    Bahahahahahaha that beat criscendo bit just hella slayed me

  • @napturalproud2012
    @napturalproud2012 Před 12 lety

    I'm rolling right now.... LOL. I needed this. I thought I was the only one who hated the tomfoolery and ratchedness.

  • @ForeseeNatural
    @ForeseeNatural Před 12 lety

    Damn straight girl! Pancakes and milk combo are the ultimate doo-kee slush maker.

  • @FabledExistance
    @FabledExistance Před 3 lety +1

    I try to tell dese folks about homemade waffles! Finally someone understands 😆

  • @trans-a.m.
    @trans-a.m. Před 7 lety +1

    This is a solid list!

  • @ghanacuty
    @ghanacuty Před 12 lety

    you got me wanting to do a vid on this now, love it EV

  • @musicfoya
    @musicfoya Před 11 lety

    LIKE. Thankyou for the chuckles, i needed that today

  • @queenzd12
    @queenzd12 Před 11 lety

    I luv this!!!!!! Great personality!!! I just subscribed.

  • @kagomers
    @kagomers Před 11 lety

    i have anxiety and that crescendo thing really freaks me out lolololol

  • @kariettamccombs2211
    @kariettamccombs2211 Před 8 lety

    omgahhh Evelyn where have yu been all my life?! whY am I just now discovering yu! yu have made my night lol new sub! love your whole CZcams aura

  • @gublue24
    @gublue24 Před 11 lety

    Ok, when you said you felt the beat was never going to drop, I almost died, I feel the same about the pop crescendos lol

  • @allthingsglam8545
    @allthingsglam8545 Před 10 lety +3

    I just subscribed!! You're too silly !

  • @princessberry4021
    @princessberry4021 Před 7 lety +3

    I HATE cold milk. I used to get picked on so much for my hatred of straight milk. Hot cocoa is the only way I'll drink milk.