Hot Wife and Cuckolding Kinks with Heather Shannon
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- čas přidán 24. 07. 2024
- Heather Shannon and Dr. Kate talk about the sexual kink Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks. They explore what these terms mean. Hot Wife and Cuckolding kinks play with themes of humiliation, desire, power and pride, and can be practiced in heterosexual and queer relationships.
They discuss Cuckolding and Hot Wifing, and the differences between them. They also talk about the mystery around this form of kink and why this is erotic to some. Both can be practiced in relationships that practice open monogamy or consensual non-monogamy.
Heather and Dr. Kate outline how to begin this conversation with your partner, if this is interesting to you, as well as how to talk about the experience and feelings after participating in this practice.
It is an open and very direct conversation about this sexual kink.
Heather Shannon is a Certified Sex Therapist and Host of the top-ranked “Ask A Sex Therapist” podcast. With over 12 years in private practice, Heather helps queer, kinky and/or non-monogamous people to explore who they are as sexual beings and how they want to show up in their relationships. Heather has been featured in publications such as Cosmopolitan, Women’s Health and Self Magazine as well as on podcasts including The Horny Housewife and Curious Girl Diaries. She is a sex and relationship expert for the Peanut app, which serves 2.5M women throughout all stages of life.
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 - 02:12 Listener question regarding cuckholding/hot wifery fantasies and introduction of Heather Shannon
02:20 - 03:11 The commonality of cuckholding questions
03:13 - 04:40 Defining cuckholding vs. hot wifery
04:45 - 5:25 Role of humiliation
05:26 - 05:58 Various elements of pride in hot wifery
06:06 - 07:42 Chosen emasculation and why its erotic for some men
07:43 - 08:45 The power in the subversive
09:04 - 09:49 The freedom that can be found in being subversive
09:50 - 10:27 Being in a cuckhold role allows for serving rather than performing
10:28 - 12:19 Debunking "alpha" and "beta" language
12:20 - 13:05 Cuckholding and sexual tension
13:06 - 14:38 Women in the role of cuckholding and hot wifery fantasies
14:39 -15:15 The origin of cuckholding as a term
15:16 - 17:35 Can cuckholding and hot wifery exist in the reverse or in queer relationships?
17:41 - 19:04 Power play in cuckholding
19:05 - 19:40 Common concerns about bringing up this kink in relationships
19:41 - 20:38 What are some things that partners should think about when wanting to introduce cuckholding/hot wifery into their relationship?
20:39 - 22:14 The importance of gradual exploration
22:24 - 22:35 Things can remain fantasies and don't have to be played out in real life
22:37 - 23:44 Explore the part of you that makes you feel like something is "wrong" with having kinks
24:52 - 25:55 The mixed emotions that can come with playing in this space
25:56 - 27:09 What will feel completing in the process of exploring this type of play?
27:20 -28:07 Important reminders to tell yourself when exploring kink and play
28:29 -29:03 How can kink be something that enhances intimacy for folks?
29:10 - 30:12 Kink is not always about penetration and orgasm
30:17 - 30:45 Assumptions people make about kinky people, including hypersexuality and nonmonogamy
31:15 -32:09 The trustbuilding and negotiation that comes with exploring kink
32:51 - 34:50 2 suggestions for resources for folks looking to explore cuckholding and hot wifery
34:52 - 36:02 Tips for debriefing and aftercare when it comes to kink play
36:03 - 38:02 Outro
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You and Dr. Heather while both excellent individually have an amazing synergy together.
Super informative! Thank You!
You can get rid of the term "Alpha" and "beta", but you will always have words that describe people who are better than you because hierarchies are written into the fabric of existence. You can't get rid of them
Hence why we should embrace our cuckd status if necessary. No shame in it
But better than you, how?
I fully agree. Alpha and beta seem particularly well suited to mating dynamics within a group. We can do some language gymnastics to get around using those 2 words, but they are a good shorthand.
@@aNaturalistmating... Hmm ok. Maybe, I suppose, I'm not a biologist. But too many people use alpha and beta as words to describe a whole range of behaviors, and so many of us don't behave in a simple black and white manner.
And no doubt created by people seeking to label themselves “alpha” to everyone else’s “beta”. They’re pathetically simplistic terms for the shallowest among us without the life experience or education to understand the nuance and unique individuality of human beings.
psychologist Stanley Siegel has researched this the most. If anyone wants to understand why or to get past it. He has a website.
Every time I here talk of this I am surprised by how it just doesn't seem to fit with my past personal experience. For me I think sex is great fun and I also beleive I don't own anyone. When my past partner hot wifed I was just glad she got to have some varied experience and felt it was good that she enjoyed herself. It didn't seem to have all these other variables you mention for me personally.
I think the cuckolding experience induces a type of controlled-jealousy that just builds up inside and results in a release of pleasure.
Exactly right. I took an abnormal sexuality course recently that went over this. Eroticism of trauma usually a previous affair or fear of one.
@@NothisisPatrick-oe9fv exactly how i accidentally discovered that the jealousy pangs and anxiety i felt at the thought of my wife with another man was actually getting me more and more exited sexually. Once I accepted the fact, i eagerly welcomed her infidelity.
This is growing in popularity and there's something I could never tolerate. I don't judge those who participate in this but I've recently dropped two women in the last 3 years for bringing it up
Lul my woman has cukd me after being the one to bring it up. It's honestly made us feel even closer
But you're watching this and that's ok.
I think it's growing in popularity because men don't want to take so much responsibility for being everything to a woman anymore. It's too much to expect of anyone to live up to the impossible standards of modern women
@@ShivaShaktificationthat’s a hell of a comment. Interesting.
@@ShivaShaktification somewhat true. This is becoming more popular because wom en are more s3xually empowered and liberated now and usually have been with lots of men and have had experience with well-endowed men with prowess who were able to satisy them in ways other men can't. So they know what they are missing now and are the ones now demanding and wanting open relationships where they can get all their needs met.
Hmmm You both got me thinking. I have been practicing this for over 45 years. Now hotwifing has come to the scene. I'm starting to think I'm a hybrid.
My wife and I have been enjoying the HOTWIFE deal for about 2 years now. It is spectacular. We were close before but now we are even closer ❤
My wife and I have had the same experience. Having just a few mfm experiences has made us a lot closer! I know that it doesn't make sense, but with us, it's a fact! She likes men about half her age and gets to have these experiences! Good for her! I love watching her! It seems to have eliminated any jealousy that was in our relationship! Sharing your wife with other men wouldn't work for everyone, but it did help us a lot! Be upfront and honest with each other! Always!
When you talk, in the first 5 minutes or so, about the wife comes home after her "play" time and then has sex with the husband and he enjoys that aspect...the "she came home to me" (im the last one etc) is referred to as "reclaiming."
That’s only one of many terms, and it’s decided upon by the man who feels whatever he specifically feels.
I like what they said about. Kink
If the female partner tries to introduce some weird practices and the man goes along with it, there won’t be any problems. But if it’s the guy’s idea, it’s probably not going to go well. Best off just keeping it to yourself. She will no longer trust you.
Also, as a man, to maintain attraction, you have to be something of a black box to your female partner. Once she figures you out, she will lose interest. Just remember, if there’s anything at stake like kids or a house, she has kept an exact accounting of every transaction, and if there’s a breakdown in the relationship, everything you’ve ever opened up to her about will be used against you.
If that happens, and she’s able to engineer your suicide, then it’s “mission accomplished.” She takes everything with no strings attached.
Lol
Dude..
For me, it's purely intense Voyeurism.
For you maybe? Did you try? Its much more deep and multifaceted
This is how bored people are , that sex and even watching and being humiliated is better then their emptiness… sexual narcissism is just sad . And only 7% of open relationship survive, if it was a cancer diagnosis one would prepare to die 😂
7% Where did you get that stat ?
Where did you get 7% ?
My first wife who did hot wifing died of cancer young, so whats your point with your empty judgement of others?
Hello doctor I can know more details about this . personal . hope you can little help me 🙏
Nobody can help you but yourself
Please discuss why so many woman prefer black men as bulls. Is it simply the much larger penis size or is there more to it. Thanks!
Once you go black you never go back.
it's the size, taboo, sometimes even the contrast too which are the reasons.. you have had some experiences?
"black men" is so dehumanizing. Race has nothing to do with it
From someone who has a black bull that fucks his wife its a bit more than that. On average (not a stereotype!) black men have on average more dominant and rough way of fucking and you can even see that in amateur porn where its not porn industry acting. Which is why many women, particularly white women who are with with cuck white guys prefer black guys. Because black guys fuck in ways those ladies husbands dont. The penis size is a bit of an unrealistic thing because on average, dick sizes between races are almost the same. There are different and varying dick sizes but its irrelevant of race.
@@ziggyjohnston5302 It appears to be very human in that many women want to experience a partner who is larger that they associated with black men. So race is part of it. My gf wants to have a black girlfriend because she had a college friend from Africa as exchange student and found her skin was very soft and made excuses to be in contract with her for innocent seeming reasons. We live in a country where 90% of the blacks are students with full load scholarships so we make contact with black girls we see randomly in a store or on the street and have lunch or attend a cultural event. She has not escalated with any more than kissing in greeting or departing. So race is an element in her attractive and that is very human. She has not tried to seduce one but only because she is a but concerned over the possible reaction.
In my oppinion the thing is rather simple. We humans get bored by everything after a while. Then starts a search for excitements. Even cuckolding becomes boring with time. That is why we have those discussions and analyses.
The same process we see in music, painings, coockery, ......First we listen to children songs and after some time to uggly jazz.
Same thing with drugs. After a while we dont get that rush
My wife experience a black guy a while back, she was introduces to him by her current bull
I never knew she was planning this , so she meet him and her current bull for coffee and soon ended up back at our place.I knew she had a 3 some but nothing mentioned he was black , she never mentioned his race until a few weeks later .her bull videos it and send me a clip and I was taken by how much she enjoyed the sex with him over he regular bull. When she did tell me more about this guy she made it clear was the next level of sex
Damn that's hot. Do you think you'll never get to be in the same room with them?
I am sad that a man can make himself this smal , you must be traumabonded to this narcissistic women 🤮
That is very likely to happen. Most of the couples I have been with eventually led to the cuck watchimg me with their wives. The cucks seemed like they couldn't get enough of it. I have had several cucks deeply kiss their wives while my load was still sitting on the tongue of their wives.
Heather is fun to listen to…
I was just looking for a sex therapist to help me figure out life / sex after bladder cancer and my losses
Committed relationships inducing third party participation rarely stand the test of time.
Yeah didn’t work out for ya? Sorry to hear that
But other studies rate swinger couples divorce at much lower rate than vanilla couples. The only highly religious have lower rates of divorce.
@@mr.anderson9938yeah I guess it didn't work out for that person. Has worked out for me so far
Then it wasn't committed
Me and my hotwive are happy for more then 10 jears in a cuckold relation and it only makes the relation stronger.
Much respect to all hotwives and there partners.
Go for it lady's enjoy❤
i notice this and what i see is that it is mostly young people who talk and endorse this kind of thing, This was not tolerated back in the day by good men back in the day-i am 67 and this was not happening back in the day. I would never ever tolerate any woman who did this kind of thing, I see women who do this as well i think you know the word i want t use-they were women who we called w. i leave it at that.
Of course people did it back in the day, they just didn't talk about it
Yes. When I was young in my 20s I did this kind of thing, and continued off and on for the next 45 years.
Now 72 , I still do this kind of thing. My now wife is 45.
I'm sorry my friend, you've just admitted to us all that you've been living under a rock for 67 years. 😬 Plus, "W's" are fun 😉🤭😁🫣 you have definitely missed out. For 67 years.
If your wife had three kids back in the day the probability is one was not yours.
I have become old and can't get it up but I love to kiss my wife but she doesn't.
Awe that's kinda sad. I'm sorry 😕
All of this sounds great, right up until you realize your wife has fallen in love with someone else and says I love you, but I am no longer in love with you, goodbye."
The truth, according to DR David Buss, which very few want to talk about is 79% of women who have sex outside their marriage will fall in love with one of her sexual partners. 80% of divorce is filed for by women.
Men almost always get the short end of this stick. Most women will lose respect for their husbands because their will come a time when the wife will view him as weak. She will realize she doesn't need him as a sexual partner in part because he asked for it.
Do as you please, but realize you are playing with fire and are probably going to get burned.ŭ
But more credible studies reveal the divorce rates of those in the LifeStyle and very religious have the lowest divorce rate and highest self reported mate satisfaction. Adding a couple or individual to a good marriage seems to be a strengthen factor.
@@stanspb763nice
If you look at wolves, Lions or any pack animal, there is an alfa and he gets to procreate. So that is not a fallacy.
But human beings are not wolves.
Talk about the movie 7th Secret
14:18 Unless the female partner is a narcissist, she probably doesn’t derive any real pleasure from “cuckolding” her husband.
In fact, by putting her on a pedestal, he’s just objectifying her. Assuming the female partner is not a narcissist, if she’s getting anything from having sex with another man, she probably has to block out the idea that he’s even there (watching).
On average, most women aren’t actually kinky. They’re just more into the sensory experience they’re having.
If any of them are into BDSM, then it’s probably more about receiving any ‘punishment’ than dishing it out because that takes real effort.
A female narcissist on the other hand would be an expert at dealing out punishment and humiliation and any man who went along with it would end up feeling hollowed out.
People are fooling themselves if they think these habits are going to blow up in their faces one day.
Can you make a video about small penis humiliation? I need a clear explication 😅
Yeah for a friend 😅
👍@@mr.anderson9938
My penis is small. I enjoy when my wife places her large toy next to it and laughs at it. I like that.
Im that friend who needs to get this explained to me.
When i was younger my partner suggested it. I said hell nah, but was really turned on but i couldn't bring myself to it. I think its super hot but i cant do it
What about a Man having sex with other Women and having his wife watch or telling her about it
This is pretty decent. But it seems like two women, opining about what men who are interested in this are driven by--and through the questions you ask--showing that you don't know, leaves this somewhat incomplete. Perhaps better would be to have you two asking a man or men who are into this lifestyle questions and getting their response to complete the picture and have some first person descriptions of what's going on. Otherwise it's just people talking and not really having answers because you clearly don't have the answers you're just guessing on much of it, and neither of you is particularly qualified to make those guesses being at least in this situation not the ones who have these fantasies, certainly not from the perspective of the man you were discussing. The use of statements such as, "I feel . . ." "Maybe . . . " and "I think . . ." highlight the problem here. For future episode maybe bring in people who have more of a first hand to understanding, do a little bit less guesswork on the platform.
Nope.As a hetro male it's not about being the most virile etc I don't enjoy watching my partner having sex with another man.I feel cheated. I was glad when I broke it off.I respect my self and I'd p rather be alone than be punished etc.I wonder why people get into and stay in these relationships. As hard as it might be and it's very hard ( I've been there) leave her guys. You do not deserve the pain.And I mean this sincerely.
❤
Left wing neo-liberal women ...
Yep!!!
Yes I am baby
Why would you be asking her. She knows just as much about this as you do ? People have to stop being so naieve and believing that people like her are experts on sex or relationships or especially intimacy. There are absolutely no experts on any of these. Its just their opinion. And you can get that from anybody !!
Nah
🤮
Maybe “hotwifing” is for all those tubby partners where neither one of them is anywhere near hot. The fact that _anyone_ else would have a go at this dumpy woman gives the dumpy husband reassurance that his wife isn’t as bad he was thinking, sort of like a broken down car that still has at least SOME market value.
Don't be jealous bro
I don't think he is.@@kbanghart
Okay Ken wannabe.
Too many husbands today would like to watch their Hotwife with a Strong Black Bull!
Not me.
Fact
Not enough in my opinion
True. My wife and I tried it few times, we actually had such a good time. If thats something couples are into or have a fetish for, I would highly recommend it.
My wife if cuckold me that with white bull alone i like and not black person as bull.