You're going to be okay: healing from childhood trauma | Katy Pasquariello | TEDxYouth@AnnArbor
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- čas přidán 9. 08. 2015
- Katy's personal stories walks you through the abuse she encountered as a child, how she over came it and advice on spotting signs of child abuse.
Katy Pasquariello is a freshman at Community High School. She occupies her time playing saxophone, writing short stories, and making awful jokes. She is very passionate about educating others on child trauma and helping people who have gone through it. She is a part of the CHS Jazz program and went with the program to Tennessee to perform with Victor Wooten. When she is not playing saxophone or helping others, you can find her cuddling her dog Bo and watching Chopped. This is her first time doing a TEDx talk.
This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at ted.com/tedx
Notice the way she speaks. People who experienced childhood abuse were taught not to express themselves. Even I get easily winded in conversations when my friends can rant for hours easily. Props to her for being up there!
Exactly. I could relate to way she spoke, and it hurts, because she's in so much pain. My heart aches for her.
Me too! I feel I can't breathe a lot of the time, even tho I can, espy when speaking to others. And as for eating and breathing, that's near impossible! Eating out in social situation can be super stressful!
Yeah I totally understand the "silent phonecall" to the Samaritans! I totally get that! Speaks a thousand words to me. ...
Carus Productions so very true! I get up never being able to express my emotions and showing my emotions meant I was weak or over reacting. It's such a struggle for me to open my self with strangers, friends and families. But I'm overcoming my fear showing my emotions.
Debra Goring sounds like me too. I'm 35.
Child abuse is not always physical that's the horrible part.
True!
Yep. Most times is verbal which is even worse.
Verbal is worse
I would have endured the physical over the emotional. Physical wounds have measurable healing... you cannot rebuild the trust lost from emotional abuse.
Yes and that makes it worse because the abuser will act like they've done nothing wrong and often the one abused can't seem to understand why they feel wronged and just believe that it isn't abuse and it's their fault
You can tell that this presentation was not easy to do , as it is hard to stand up and talk about a personal experience that was traumatic. She is a very brave person to do this as it is not easy especially at such a young age. It usually takes people to be in there adult stage of there lives to actually act upon traumatic childhood experiences.
val skilmer yes
I'm 19 and in the process of healing soon I will be getting a therapist I'm ready to heal I want to live a life of love and happiness without having to repress my past. It will be hard but at the end I know it's worth it I know sometimes we don't acknowledge it or believe it but we survivors deserve to live a life of peace.
@@wl415hey, it’s been 3y! Was wondering how you’re doing, 3 y down 😌
Those things that her father was telling her were basically things that he was telling himself.
it's called Projection, when they accuse you of what they are guilty of
Wow this has really helped, thank you
I was emotionally abused and neglected from the age of 12 up by my father. Only during my 30’s did I realize what I had experienced for so many years. I am now 40. I still struggle daily. I did not have any safe family. Nobody comforted me or helped me thru it. My husband is my only safe person. I’m still trying to work it with self help videos like yours. ❤
Stay strong!!! You are not alone, I had the same life experience as you, and thought I was reading about myself.
This woman is so strong. Sounds like she’s learning to love herself fully. You go girl.
People need to be checked to see if they are okay to look after children, like people who are adopting get checked.
cx45830 good idea but very difficult to apply and manage
cx45830 your point is not valid. Most of the child abusers are their own parents.
True but then I wouldn't be born.
@J Jones sad sad!
I agree, a lot of people have major issues and they aren't fit to be parents, yet they are...
Damn, this was so brave. She should be so proud
Thank You for speaking out. I was a victim of sexual abuse, abandonment and narcissistic abuse from both of my parents. Love to you.
Bianca Melendez me too so 🤕 you think your over it and it all comes back again
Bianca Melendez you are not alone
Bianca Melendez
I'm sorry for your pain
Me too neglected abuse by both parents 32 and still have flashbacks 😢
I am so sorry
childhood abuse does damage you into Adulthood. With right support can overcome
you are so right :)
how?
+BeezyBaby28 with right support, amongst those who will not judge, criticise, force you or demand to know what took place. Can learn to trust again, by the way the individual shows true understanding. It's through my faith did I learn to love myself, not people please and to learn to say no. As a child we look up to adults, if we are left vulnerable, not protected and exposed to all sorts.In our eyes it looks the norm, until the penny drops to realise its wrong.
+BeezyBaby28 If the circle of friends and family dont respect you and expect you to move on. Best to remove yourself from such people. Need to be around those who demonstrate love..
A2ndvoice Plus I don't want no support tbh, help never actually helped me. But oh well, i can deal with it on my own. Maybe not in a good way, but at i think i'll be fine eventually.
I was abused when I was 7 or 8 and it all affects me still. I am 18 now and looking back at all of it makes me cry. I know I am strong and am going to heal! Katy, thank you for this wonderful talk. You are amazing and strong!
I was abused by my mother. I'm in weekly trauma therapy and have been for 2 years. I am feeling much better but I'm still not back to work. A misdiagnosis of bipolar in my mid twenties kept me in excruciating emotional pain for over a decade. I hope that one day the facts and outcomes of childhood abuse will be know on a societal level. No one told me my child abuse was the cause of my pain. Good luck all!
TannervYoung good luck to you too
My abusive family arranged my mental health treatment when I was 17... schizzoaffective. 7 years of obesity from seroquel, abilify, lamotrigine, and cipralex and more
emotional death, Finally took my life back... starting EMDR soon, and medication free. I totally get you. I hope you’re better two years later!
@lindsay Raines it’s tough because these therapies require money effort time etc and those of us with childhood trauma generally have no networks, money or proper resources. I remember taking up a second job to pay for therapy and I’m glad I did it but working hardcore while healing has been extremely difficult so I hope you can find a way to get a support network somehow since I don’t know anything about you I wouldn’t want to give advice and be off base, but I do want to say don’t give up because even though it’s extremely difficult I do believe its possible to heal. I’m still on the healing process and have had some amazing days that at least counterbalance the amount of pain I suffered
Lindsay Raines you’re so welcome. And Hey, if you’re ever bored, come to my channel 8va Music. I just released a song called “still here” it’s at the top of my page. I wrote it based on my experience of being misdiagnosed and rejected by my family after finding out I wasn’t schizoaffective. I have some young teens I keep an eye on who have also been abused and they enjoy it so just letting you know. We’re all in this childhood abuse mess together so it’s good for us to encourage each other online
Have you heard of a book entitled “I’m Glad My Mom Died” by Jennette McCurdy? I wonder if it can help with your recovery. Best of luck!
This girl has a special energy, and is a gifted speaker, even though she's nervous.
You are a hero, Katy. Thank you for using your voice to make a difference and change the world.
Good job! I had to deal with child neglect, emotional and physical abuse. I have had a life long issue with low self esteem, relationship problems, and negative thinking. At the at of 40 I was diagnosed with PTSD, Major Depression and Borderline Personality Disorder. It took me this long to realize my self worth and to stop thinking negative and change my thinking. You will touch many people with your talk. You should be proud of yourself. You are a beautiful girl. God bless you.
Was the PTSD from the abuse? Sending love from people who understand aswell.
Yes
How great for you to deal with this stuff at 40! I think you may be dealing with CPTSD rather than "just" PTSD. Knowing you want to get through it is a great place to start. I wish I had a live support group! (But I'm in a foreign country right now, so...) Good for you for sharing and seeking the help you need.
+Over 50 ^IQ ?EQ yeah I live in isolation and it really has affected my life. But I know God is looking out for me. I have a 15 year old son and we are very close. I broke the cycle. I find myself yelling at times but I'm learning to communicate in better ways. This girl is spreading the word. She's making a difference in this world. I hope to write a book about my life one day. Hopefully my story will help others know that there is hope.
Hello Amy, That's basically what I did. I've been writing on trying to get happy over the last year. I didn't even know I had CPTSD, or what it was until I got into the happiness research. It's a tough road--I don't need to tell you.
I wanted to have a child, but I was afraid to do it alone. Now I am alone, and have isolated so long it's hard to come out. But I have to if I want to find ways to continue to pay the grocery bill...and stuff. ;) One can only do affirmations that this time is the right time. (In other words, it's never too late--but I don't like to use words like "late" in affirmations.) Thank you for sharing. You may like some of the videos in my various playlists from smart people like this young lady. Enjoy the week.
Stay strong Katy. You are not alone. You made me feel safe.
You deserve to feel safe
Thank you. I was neglected by one parent and emotionally affected by the other. I felt powerless as a young child but learned to stand up for myself eventually. I still carry the emotional scars at sixty, even though both my parents have passed - But it's people like you who help me to look past what has passed, and focus on today and all of the potentials of each new day. Your are brave and beautiful.
+John Craig
This is exactly how it was - you think it's normal or its your fault and you twist yourself to placate the abusive parent but they can never be placated. Now I'm 61 , incredible.My father was emotionally abusive and knew he did bad because he hid it from my mother.
i highly recommend you read about narcissistic abuse.
+reemCGR Yes, I agree. Normal healthy parents would never abuse their child, or even consider it really. My brain doesn't work like that. I want to love and protect children.
Recovering Soul yes indeed it is so unnatural :(
narcissistic parents use and abuse their children, sad but true.
US:
Children out of wed:
Psychos
Children of drug addicts:
Psychos
Children of racists:
Bullies
So much hate in us and no love and kindness.
Thank you for speaking up. The greatest bravery is not to act cool but to stand up and tell the truth that makes you look like weak and a loser in front of the people. Only some of them know only a brave recovering heart is able to do that. Your speach has validated all the victims of childhood abuse who know what has happened to them and haven't dared to speak up yet.
Well said, Vida!
YES! So brave.
It took you enormous courage to give this talk. Here's to your continued growth and education (go to public universities and work and you won't need the money your father squandered.). Giving this talk was a beautiful service to the thousands of people who've heard you. Blessings to you.
Katy, I would be honored to be your father. Just know that your biological father must have been extremely abused as a child and what he did came as a result of his damage from his abuse--nothing to do with you. no healthy person, especially a parent, could do and say the things he did to you. you deserve so much more! and thanks for being a courageous role model to the world! I get the feeling you are here for a purpose, a noble purpose. keep on keeping on!
Idk..if that's necessarily true. I never heard that my grandfather was abusive from my,aunts or grandmother but my dad was definitely a monster
Beautiful message 💛😢🙂
@@user-dp4bu8jy4b stuff not talked about.... swept under the rug.
Not a helpful comment at all. Asking the victim to picture the perpetrator as a pitiful victim is a thinly veiled excuse for the perpetrator. She doesn't need to hear that oh poor abuser had a hard time too. Maybe he did maybe he didn't. It doesn't matter. What matters is that he chose to hurt a child. And there are no excuses for that. Do you see the speaker here running around throwing cigarettes at children, because you know, it's been done to her so now she gets to do that to someone else? No, she's not doing that. Because she's not a piece of $hit. And her father was. And there are no excuses for predators
@@oompaloompa9139 Its about not blaming yourself, not really excusing his behaviour. Some people endure pain and gain no wisdom from it, like maybe her father. they are deserving of compassion, but not a relationship. its a lot easier to understand why people are bad and move on, than live the rest of your life in anger and blaming, wishing you had better parents etc. you cant change anything or anyone but yourself.
youre entitled to your opinion of course, thats just how i interpreted his comment!
Beautiful soul so brave
Thank you for this.
U are so brave and great , and u are NOT alone
I was abused as child. Nobody cares. It does not matter.
We live in a cruel cold hypocritical world and no amount of wishful thinking will change that. I am no longer surprised to see abuse almost everywhere.
Until the majority of people stand up to it, it will never change.
Charlie Chase im sorry that you feel that way about the world, but i have to agree with you
The majority of people are stupid
Unfortunately but fortunately I
Do believe we will change for the better one day
I live with mexican people and well
To be honest they're not good for the human race
However if I look at it in gods eyes were all the same. Just saying
I was neglected by parents and bullied by siblings, kids on the bus, school yard, wherever. No one cares. I've been in therapy for much of 20 years. It hasn't helped change the way I feel.
I've been using subliminal messaging - audio and videos - it's helped a lot with the negative messaging.
You are not alone. You're just isolated from all the other people who suffered childhood abuse and neglect.
I care.
It matters to YOU! It also matters to ME. Does that matter at all to you? I believe that it would matter to any one who hears your story, so please share when you can.❤❤❤❤❤ to you!
I'm a survivor of trauma myself. I cannot believe how rampant this problem is! there should be incentives for people to learn proper parenting- and everyone should really think long and hard about becoming a parent. Society needs to change the stigma that if a woman like myself decides not to have kids then I must hate kids. The reason being that I'd be bringing an innocent life into this world that I cannot fully give myself to, because of being a trauma victim. (I also cannot be touched physically without flipping out.) There are so many aspects to this topic of abuse and trauma. And it is a complete myth, just as she states in her talk, that victims can (without support) just forget about it and move on. No, we can't. We are broken souls without a support system who never got the proper intervention or received justice for our abuse. I'll never bring a child into this sad excuse for society.
thisssssss!!
You were great Katy. I am putting this on my Facebook page because it is so important. I am 75yo. I have been in therapy once a week for about 4 decades trying to learn to deal with PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder) from childhood abuse. You are so right that some people don't want to hear about it but family secrets are deadly. They allow abuse to go on and on. Thank you Katy. I admire you so much. You are very brave and what you are doing will, I am certain, help many others who have suffered.
The real problem of our society is the family specifically the parents. Ineffective parenting has caused so much damage towards our children.
I hope you're fine now and living a fantastic life
I can clearly see how she badly she has been abused by the way she is speaking. It hurts. But i must say she they the bravest girl. The way she stood for herself with all that childhood trauma. Huge respect and love for you girl ❤️
I actually cried while watching this video. I'm a victim of child abuse. Because of me being a victim. It had change my entire life.
No one is going to be having empathy regarding your state and how you feel. But rather they would see you as a victim and someone vulnerable for attack.
I'm once told, please don't cry don't try to get empathy from others.
I am so sorry that happened to you. There are a lot of CZcamsrs who have videos about abuse and recovering. Many of us were told by our abusers "You're too sensitive", or "It's in the past, get over it".
But those of us who were targeted for abuse DO have empathy, kindness, compassion and many are creative (artists, musicians, writers). There are good people out there, we just need to find them.
What happened to you is real I see you I belive you and your feelings and trauma because of that are valid I’m am so happy you are here please heal❤️
whoever gave this woman a thumb down is a jerk. She is heroic for sharing her life with us and educating the public.
Probably her parents or other monsters who like torturing babies
@@aviana3841i was just about to say just that
Praying that the thumbs down was directed toward the experience this woman had to withstand. I would like to hug her.
It is never okay to abuse. It was never your fault you have a shitty father. You are brave, and strong! Keep being the voice of many!
I'm going to call my son and apologize to him..
How did it go? I hope you did. Life is short we have to hold on to each other... i'm sure he loves you deeply :-)
Great. Thanks for asking.
Tiffany Hagans ❤️
Tiffany Hagans I could only dream about my parents doing that, lol. I dunno what your story is, but you're a good person for at least apologize for something bad you did.
Yes you really should :(
What she said at the end...something similar to that happened to me, recently. It was very painful. She's right, those people are not real friends. Nor do they have your best interest at heart and they care more about their own comfort and delusions than having compassion and empathy for the pain you've suffered from the childhood trauma you've endured. It doesn't matter whether it seems tame or not to someone else. It's about the fact that you were traumatized from it, that's all that matters. We're not too sensitive or any of the other bullshit people like to spew to diminish and minimize the consequences of what these ABUSERS have done to us. I think she is brave for speaking out about this and it was very encouraging. Thanks Katy, so much and have a wonderful, peaceful, safe life. :)
I am so proud of this lady, it takes an extraordinary amount of bravery to stand up like this and talk about childhood trauma free. It is inspirational to see but also hard to watch. I cried watching it because it hurts to see her struggling to speak and had parallels to my own childhood. Wishing her and all other survivors an extra dose of love and strength.
Brought me to tears because I related so much. In fact, at 13 years old my grade 7 teacher pulled me aside and literally asked me if I was okay and offered help and support. I was too blind to see it due to how brainwashed I was to believe that my home life was in the slightest bit normal (emotional and physical abuse/neglect, Narcissistic Dad and Enabler Mum). I even denied there was something wrong even though it was blatantly obvious due to my withdrawal, choice of clothing, and because I was writing lyrics and poetry about suicide on my binder and for assignments. Because of my denial, nothing came of it though, but I really appreciate the attempt because he was the only person who actually tried to help me, who even took notice.
I wish this never had happened to you. And I wish I had never been abused. I was molested by a neighbor. I was in a terrible marriage. I was stalked and could not get adequate help. You are so brave to speak up. I support you and affirm your speaking up and speaking out. You thrive! You thrive!
How very brave of you to share your story. I cried when you said your dad flicked lit cigarettes at you. I hope you continue your healing journey. You are of great value.
“You don’t have daddy issues. You have a dad with issues and that’s not your fault” can’t remember who said it but that’s a quote I live by
why,
didn't anyone,
help.
molly clock bcz people don't care. That's d reality
molly clock no one helped me either . And I know many people knew something was very wrong.
SweetNothing001 nobody wants to get involved, nobody cares
Social stigmas and thinking someone else will take care of it
We didn't know.
Thank you for sharing this. You can tell by her body language how difficult it must have been to share all this in front of a crowd. I discuss similar issues and solutions to understand the root cause as to why such things happen in my CZcams videos. Feel free to take a look.
she is so cute. a real child of the universe. god loves you!
+MetrazolElectricity lel
+twist of -faith That was not a good church. Try to find one that teaches the gospel, there are sermons online. Or just read the Bible yourself.
+twist of -faith OK. You're close to my age, but I was not indoctrinated into any church as a child. I chose it within the past decade. Jesus hated religion.
god has a funny way of showing love then, letting her be abused like that
I'm so proud of her for telling her story and finding safe people who remind her how wonderful she is. I'm also happy that she has a good mom who listened and is active in protecting her. My mom couldn't do that when I told her about my abuse, she ignored me and changed the subject. I'm so glad she has the guts to tell her story
What courage and awareness at such a young age. I have worked with numerous people in healing the deep wounds abuse and neglect of any kind create at the DNA level. Shamanic energy healing can heal and transform these experiences. A lot of what our parents carried not only occurred to them, but they also carried programming at the cell level that was passed on to them and to their children. It is very insidious.
I've been bullied since I was 4 years old and am still being bullied now in the workplace. This past month, I've just learned how to stand up for myself, but it's gotten worse. I've just reported everything to WorkSafeBC and when they started the investigations today, the manager is suddenly making false claims that I was fired for harassing other employees even though I was actually called by the manager and told they can't give me anymore shifts due to my "lack of availability" even though I was able to work 5 days a week every week. I am afraid to return to the work place to a new employer. I've never recieved justice for any bullying that has been done to me before but when I was 11 I was suspended for a day for gossiping about this one other girl in my class that everyone was bullying her too. It seems everyone is allowed to do this to each other and to me and get away with it but I can't even if I tried. :(
That sucks, you just might be too sensitive for this world, i can totally relate, i feel things too strongly, still, i only feel better when i go on the offense and stand up for myself, you need to do this for yourself and your sense of worth, if i were you i would dare to sue, get someone to back you up!
Yup! Most organizations and managers will NOT support you. They all want the status quo and not to take risks. I work in the pharm’ world, in clinical research. I am male, and my world is almost all women. I have been at the receiving end of a LOT of gender inappropriateness (at a group dinner a female colleague said to the group, “men are good for only one thing!”. Nothing was done to her, but if I had said that, I surely would have been fired that day. I have something that I call the Universal Rule: people will do what they can get away with; look at Trump’s lies, Russia’s invasions. Don’t expect support or help
@Cheryl Love I'm still suicidal from all that bullying..
CPTSD survivors spend the rest of our lives trying to heal...
The sad part about growing up this way is that it hurts worse at her age, but it disrupts your life more-when you least expect it-at middle age.
“Maybe if I wouldn’t have said anything it would’ve been better”
Very Powerful . You can tell she still feels strong emotional pain while mentioning few of her experiences. Very strong & Brave girl helping others while dealing with pain herself. She’s a warrior.
When you can relate so much that it hurts...
I’m 70 years old and I’m still struggling to some degree with the affects of abuse I experienced from birth to age 25. This talk is so important because it can be hard for others to understand why I ‘m not “all better” by now. So, I’m going to let Katy explain for me.
takes a lot of guts to do this. I really admire her.
This helped so much, I'm starting to begin the healing. I'm 24 and finally left I stayed to help out but everything I did was never enough.
I’m proud of you. Hope you’re in a better place now.
Thank you I am 59 and suffer from extreme childhood trauma , I really need help.
She is so brave and eloquent to have spoken out about the injustice done to her..........prayers for the sister
Actually been there with the "I hate you - I wish you were never born" bit with mother - she used to say that to all of us siblings. The one thing I always asked myself is "why did you even have children then?" or "why did you have more children then you could handle?". This was on top of all the harsh harsh beatings of course. Now I can't help but get furious when I hear about people having more children than they can handle. Especially when there are people who are positive loving people who can't even have a single child.
You are SO brave, for getting up there, giving this talk and sharing your story. I'm 27 and only just started dealing with my childhood trauma a year or two ago, it's been hard but seeking out information and resources (much like yours) have given me the courage to start healing. Thank you, you are doing amazing things and have a bright future.
Wow this lady did a most remarkable job in her presentation. I felt her intense isolation wrap around me like an oily slime. Know it well. Love you Katy :-)
You can so tell how hard it was for her to talk about this, I cried so much in this, I can’t relate.
Im a trauma survivor and suffer from complex PTSD. I couldnt even get through the video. Know your limits if its too much right now its too much. I will come back to this video in the future when I am ready
When I was nine I had an accident at school. A kid threw a rock at my eye! It was an accident. My grandma was taking care of me like 90% of the time. she didn't have legal custody of me. So I have to see my mom at last 2 weekends a month. So 3 days after my accident. I still had a black eye and very swollen. I had to go see my mom and step dad. I got to her house in the middle of no where. Went into the kitchen and my mom made me wash the dishes, it was full of maggots everywhere! After she made me do them she locked her and my step dad in there room all day long! I only seen maybe 2 times a day! She left me by myself. I no toys no tv nothing! So the first day. I was hungry so I knocked on her door she said make my own dinner. She said they had no propane so no stove. So there was nothing to eat but pbj and milk. I ate nothing but pbj morning noon and night. 4th day we ran out of bread. So I was starving so I found a small slice of cake in the back of the fridge wrapped in paper. I ate it. About an hour later mom screamed my name out from the kitchen. She asked me if I ate the cake I said yes! She slapped me in the face and hit the eye that was still swollen from the rock because the rock did a lot of damage. I landed on the floor and I started screaming. She sent me to my room! 15mins later she came in with a bowl of soup and this green liquid I ate the soup drink the green liquid and feel asleep. I found out later it was liquid pain killers. I basically slept the next 2 days in her house. When she was taking me back to my grandma she said if told anybody what she did she would tell everybody I was lying and no one would believe me. So when I was 16 found out that I had glaucoma and I was going blind in the eye that she and the rock hit. I lost quit a bit of vision in that eye in the matter of 1 year before I got surgery to stop my vision loss. Every time I see a new eye doctor they ask me how did I get glaucoma soo young and I tell them about the rock but not my mom. They knew I wasn't tell them the whole story. It toke 22 years for me to tell my family the real full story of my eye and what my mom did. That was 2 years ago.
Thank you for sharing your story, it's very sad :( I hope you are doing better now, and if not, I hope you can get better!
I am so sorry. Stay away from your mom as much as you can. She doesn't deserve you. You didn't deserve all this suffering.
I am so sorry this happened to you. This is not fair at all. 😣 I feel so sad 😞 Stay strong. Hugs
Baby girl. You're worth love.
Nobody should have to go through this
Thank you so much for standing up and sharing your experience, it’s really connected with me I wish I’d seen it years ago. Sending love and light to anyone going/gone through any kind of stressful abusive childhood, you are not alone
Man I felt so alone and seeing people like u speak out and people in the comments makes me feel understood and not alone . To everyone we should all seriously form a group to be there for each other ! Where all in this together . Wishing all u a full recovery! Recovery is possible just takes hard work . :)
Agree
you can tell she still has anxiety :/.props to her, but I agree I was looking for the part on how to heal. this video didn't help much
So much courage in her delivery! So much healing for those who can relate to her story! Myself as well. Thank you, keep sharing it.
I applaud you for standing up there and talk as you did. It is not easy. Emotional abuse is highly damaging... Many Blessings to you. Keep taking, bringing awareness to all.
Thank you so much for sharing this Katy! It really helps me feel that I am not alone. I have been going through a hard time in my life and many who I considered my friends turned their backs at me when I tell them my problems. I usually wondered it is because my problem is to heavy for them to hear? But I guess you are right, real friends are those who won’t trivialize your problem and be there for you! Thanks for giving me hope.
Hugs sis.. Can clearly hear the pain and shivers in your voice. Love you!!
One can never just 'move on' from childhood abuse. It's a very hard process. Sadly there has never been enough talk about this because we want to maintain the 'sanctity' of family. This has led to generational traumas and the abuse gets worse from one generation to another and just never stops until an aware person decides to break the cycle.
It's interesting how everything we do now as grown ups has a link to what we witnessed or went through as children. It's really necessary to recognize the damage we went through as children in order to live peacefully and let others live peacefully as well. Hats off to you again!!
What a brave, strong, and generous person you are. Thank you. I went through childhood abuse and trauma. I cannot imagine speaking out at your age. Thank you for being a wonderful example and helping others see that it is ok to speak up and seek help and support. I wish complete healing for you and a wonderful life full of real love.
Thank you so much. I really needed to hear this today. I've been so stressed, and keep trivializing my child abuse again and again. It's not all my fault, and I will get through this!
Katy, thank you for sharing your story. There are a lot of moments that are deeply hidden in our memories and are too painful to face. Only forgiveness will heal your wounds, I know that from my own experience. It took me forty years to forgive my violent alcoholic father for the abuse he put our family through.
Stay strong and inspiring as you are. You are loved!
One of the best talks i've watched! She's so brave and strong. I too have childhood trauma which was not from abuse but from growing up in a dysfunctional home with mentally ill parents and alcoholism. I wish people would include us when they speak of childhood trauma, we were not all beaten or insulted some of us just saw and heard and lived with things we shouldn't have. But this is still a good talk and it still resonated with me nonetheless.
Very well said. You are a positive force in the community and now the world. You give hope and strength to those going through tough times. Blessings your way💟
Thank you for being so brave. You inspire me. I’m 52 years old and just now confronting my abuse. ❤️❤️❤️
So much courage and bravery, you go girl! Well presented, I love your use of statistics! Many people won't believe until they see the numbers. Great job girl, you are a world changer.
Katy, thank you for your honesty and candor. I've had students whose parents have frittered away their college funds, and it is devastating. Your presentation is powerful and important. I needed people to support me when I was a teenager and scared and desperate. I hope I am that person for my students. I'm so glad that you have a support system. You are, as your friends said, brave, and you are awesome. Thank you for speaking out.
I can so relate with what you have been through. I applaud your bravery to get up & speak & to share your story. You are an inspiration to others that life will get better with help & to never let someone (especially someone so dysfunctional) define you. You are worthy, you are brave, you are special, you are resilient & obviously strong in order to get through this. Onward & upward from here 💪🏼💖
You are a strong person for sharing your story. Thanking you for using your story to give strength to others so they overcome. You are a special & beautiful human being.
Thank you for your speech Katy. You are a brave young lady and i'm sure you will grow up to be an impressive woman. Best wishes!
Katy, thank you for saying what others did not have the courage to say. I spent 11 years in the military, always looking for a fight, seriously... but I never had the sheer bravery to do what you did here. Im 36 years old and I truly admire you. Thank you for saying what you said. As odd as it might be for me to say, I honestly and truly wish for the opportunity and blessing to one day actually meet you. I believe your kind of strengh is contagious.
I love you Katy!
You have a light know one can put out!!!
I'm happy our childhood pain has a platform!
Keep sharing!!
Thank you!♥♥
It breaks my heart seeing her struggling to speak and also another corner of my heart is happy that she is able to stand in front of a crowd and speak! more power to you !
Thank you for this talk💛. I'm also a victim of physical and emotional childhood abuse and still suffering from it. As other victims I often blame myself and can't believe I'm not "over it" yet. It's nice to know not being alone though. So thank you for this talk! 💛🙌
Omg the fact that she is so young makes this so much more inspirational. Good for you lady 💗
So brave for getting up there and sharing your story! I wish I could give you a big warm hug! Wish you a wonderful life ahead, Katy
So incredibly courageous! Your story is helping millions! WOW amazing young lady!
Thank you for sharing this. I was also abused through out my childhood til i was a teen and this has taught me to be brave. im still trying to heal from everything.
This made me cry..
Thank you so much for this
I can't believe how incredibly strong she is to have stood on stage and spoken this way. I hope time heals her
Such good and true advice from one who really knows. I will try to remember to show support for the strength a person shows and not just to say sorry they had to go through it.
Being abused as a male by a single mother.. how do I relayed. She fed me clothed me, beat me with a hair brush. How do I, white privileged, male relate? I'm actually asking?
Privilege doesn't change the effects of abuse on your mind.
Abuse is abuse... Regardless of privilage
Katy Pasquariello - you are gutsy, strong and incredibly courageous. Congratulations on such an honest and brilliant talk. Thank you. You are the victor in your story. Well done.
thank you for this. keep spreading awareness we neex to help people become aware of what abuse is. so many people causing harm
Its tough for me to go through my life everyday,but i know this video has really helped me. Thanks TEDx for sharing this.☺
Noone should ever have to go thru what you went thru. You are so smart and so pretty. Stay strong.
So strong, brave and beautiful.
You are so amazing.
Thankyou for sharing this great piece of work and your life.
Tysm. People need to know this horrible world children are in. Bless you for your bravery
Many Prayers for her Nd all of us who suffer from childhood abuse .. may we heal from inside out .. ❤️🙏🏻
Thank you Katy for speaking out against childhood abuse, sharing your story and how you have been able to move through it. That was courageous and very helpful
Thank you for being honest and for being real! I’m recovering myself right now from this. So hard because my mom is in denial about my father’s abuse and now I make her feel bad for being a bad mom. Emotional manipulation? Probably but she’s my mom. I don’t have anyone else left and she hurts me so much.
Thank you sweet girl for your truth and bravery x you’ve given me a bit more hope 🌻
This young lady did an amazing job! I am impressed! God bless you sweetheart and thank you for this talk.
That was an amazing talk you gave Katy! You are a brave and beautiful soul!
that was really great. you were very brave and you had some very insightful opinions that made me look at my own past of when I was being abused from a different angle.
Katy! You are so inspiring!!! Thank you for your incredible courage!