OFFLINETV DATING SIMULATOR 2 (RED FLAGS)
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- čas přidán 9. 04. 2020
- 🃏✨ PICK A CARD ANY CARD
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#OfflineTV #Dating #RedFlags - Zábava
When lily and Michael were staring at each other and lily made a heart, I was waiting for Micheal to pull a Micheal move and show the middle finger.
Same though, this couple is so cute
Time stamp?
TIMESTAMP!!!!!
1:14
Raul Johnrey Petallo watch the video
"Dude, I'm addicted to crack and its fine" is the single greatest defensive move since the complex strategies of Alexander the Great.
napoleon got nothing on him
Hitler must learn from Michael to craft an effective strategy before invaded Moscow.
You mean ceasar right
op
@@BPSK8420 but has napoleon lost battles
i love scarra's relationship with everyone. he's like that friend that everyone is super close to and is comfortable with.
yea even sykkuno seems really open and comfortable when he’s around him or talking to him
He is literally their dad
@@longrange3322 😂😂😂
Scarra is like ur cool uncle who gets you the good ice cream
@@longrange3322 Yeah😂
The "Michael and "Lily" cards are like wild +4 cards lol
Is this a monopoly reference?
@@zalipop5396 Uno
@@zalipop5396 how did you get monopoly from this comment
@@Xedrie my guy, i said monopoly on purpose
@@zalipop5396 Bro, m-uno-poly sounds fucking dope tho
Scarra: “-and they’re addicted to crack”
Michael: “DUDE IM ADDICTED TO CRACK AND ITS FINE”
John Cena meme: "Are you sure about that?"
SkrymNV yes
SkrymNV just look at him
he do be fine doe
Already in denial
Scarra: "-and they're addicted to crack"
Michael: I see this as an absolute win
Would like ur comment buts it's at 777 likes
@@zyu7239 you can now because it's more than 777 likes now
It is a win
@@zyu7239 all good we gotta respect the 777. Though its way beyond that now.
Hate 4 Turtles u would like but the comment is at 4.20k likes
Lily: "You wanna do a ton of crack? She can support that too!"
Fed: *proceeds to choose the one that's addicted to crack*
Listen, Feds type is a non consenting partner.
@@yesyes-yf6jm didn't laugh, I believe you cant judge people for who they were in the past but now, we don't know how he is now but wasnt that situation a year ago?
@@HolDScary i was making fun of what he did in the past, not what he is doing now.
@@HolDScary it’s a joke chill
@@HolDScary hopefully he changed, you cannot accept any type of SA + denying a ton of shit when there is proof you've done wrong.
"Sorry Lily I'm going to have to choose Lily"
Me brain : *CANNOT COMPUTE*
FUCKING loool
I just noticed I had a typo but imma keep it in because it kinda makes sense
interesting
Michael really had to pull the “He’s me” card
He did what's called now a Pro Gamer Move.
MyKull: Yeah it's big brain time.
i legit screamed at that part
@Peelybananasquad UwU Scarra manage to kill an Unkillable card
Still lost that round
Lily: "We don't smoke crack in this house."
Michael: "I do."
Nailed it.
*Nightmare*
inkietotraviezo, why
@@sharllyhu9321 because why not, also he's Micheal Reeves, a mad genius inventor
Ahahahahaha
Crackhead
Poki's set of cards at 10:58 is just the visual representation of like 60% of all their viewers
Good point
Lmao
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
14:37
"YOU WANNA DO A SHIT TON OF CRACK?!? SHE CAN SUPPORT THAT TOO."
Mykull's crackhead energy is rubbing off on Lilly
Never did Michael imagine that the lady who voiced his screaming Roomba would it be his future girlfriend
I wouldn't believe it either, that's some straight rom-com shit.
Wait are her and michael official? Havent been watchin otv
@@RusticVisuals Yes
@@RusticVisuals It was confirmed a few months ago
I had 3 strokes reading this.....
"AND....THEY ARE ME"
Sounds like a hero and a villian line at the same time
Well with Michael it can go either way...more towards the later
Michael is straight up literally just a real life evil super villains
That sounds like such a Dr Doofenschmirtz line
I AM HERE!!!
Persona 4 (2020 HD Remake)
i didn't know michael existed until started watching otv yesterday and now he's like my favorite person ever
Hey, what a coincidence!
I didn't know that otv existed until I started watching michael yesterday and he's still my favourite person ever
I started watching otv because of michael
@@ScaleModel_Creations same tho, I only found out about him like 4 days ago😂
Would be nice if they could play this again but this time with Yvonne, Toast, Jodi, Sydney, and John~ I'd love to see what dates they will come up with and how they'll sabotage the other 🤣
Lily: * helps Michael out *
Michael: * Try's to destroy Lily *
This is the perfect relationship
Lily: *Helps Michael*
Michael: *Destroys Lily*
This is the perfect relationship
Michael’s just showing who’s the alpha in the relationship
Reminds me of a particular someone
Tries*
@@0_- in more than one sense of the word *destroy*.
"I know you love superheroes"
Lily: *Is dating a supervillain*
Good comment
True
Not wrong
good point
You are right the taser boy michael
“That would be like dating Yvonne, I’m just not into it”
Oh Fed, that didn’t age well did it
Lmaoooo nice seeing a 2023 person here
Scarra: a bonus round to make a boyfriend for fed
Poki: a boyfriend??
Scarra: did i stutter
Lily : helps out michael on his turn
Michael: bullies Lily and makes her turn worse than it sounds
That how their relationship works
@@riddle1_1 yeah right
@@miuni824 homie stfu
@@car4754 homie stfu
@@xilogex7403 nice one man u got the whole squad laughing
Micheal: lays down micheal reeves
Everybody: synchronized o my god
He pulled out the Exodia
I read it as Michael lays Michael
And then poki just pulls out the black hole with having multiple partners based on that history lol
*insert Joseph Joestar oh my god here*
Found it, 2:46
17:00 damn, their scores are our year rn.
Michael is the friend I strive to be like
Funny
Annoying
Smart
Uncomfortable
Michael is the friend I need.
don't forget addicted to crack
Michael can be best described as "Situation Normal, All Fucked Up"
@@lack7940 I'm a white guy in suburban Iowa, that's just part of life
You already have 2 of those
Annoying , Uncomfortable
Michael: **lays down Michael Revees card**
Michael: You see, imma do what's called a pro gamer move.
@@inkietotraviezo god dammit i absentmindedly clicked the link knowing full well that you just dont do that.
kenrick encinas what was it?
@@cwuzzy that was porn
@@cwuzzy rick roll
Kiro yikes
Technically Micheal and Lily's child is the screaming Roomba
Yup, Michael's brains and Lily's voice
The perfect combination
@AMA BROS LTD. That's why I said "Michael's brains"
@AMA BROS LTD. *Oh fuck*
@AMA BROS LTD. im--
Yeah the hight seems about right
I’ve always admire how quick witted Michael is, the editing helps in CZcams videos but even in livestreams he comes up with comments that is just...pure comedy content.
I’ve always admired fed for not being into Yvonne…. Unless it’s late at night and he’s stroking her thigh
The “And he’s me” from Michael was amazing lol
Accepting Michael into OfflineTV was one of the wisest choices.
Very
Was one???? Its the most wise choice they have ever made... Exept for everybody else
still waiting for michael to stream when i'm online
Ah yes, I too like to be tazed
Yes Michel is the best
"We lost Fed"
For a second I thought this was a recent vid
Oof
Footer ` no the person put this up after the fed thing
Bro I was thinking the same thing
Lol i thought the same
wait what happened?
"Aren't most Olympic gymnasts like 18?"
*glances at camera with a smug smile*
SCARRA
Poki: "you love superheros"
Also poki: mentions the only show where the superheros are the bads"
“Guys we aren’t getting as many views what do we do?”
“Just make Micheal half of the thumbnail”
Jock Hambone and poki as the other half
Jock Hambone And Poki on the other half
Jock Hambone outstanding move!
Just put Michael on the entire thumbnail to double the views
Putting their best foot forward.
5:25 "it's not possible because they don't have legs"
Scarra has clearly never seen an orca punt a seal 80 feet into the air before
“Owns real dinosaurs” I was half expecting him to say “ooh I can put tasers one that”
Scara: unfortunately we lost our camera man-
Michael: and our minds
Scara: and that too
They never had sanity
Lol, i thought he said "And our moms"😂
I don’t understand how you can get likes from literally just taking a joke from the video and repeating it
@@kindakad9939 i dont understand why you give a fuck
@@callmej3821 because its fucking stupid you simpleton
I just love the way Michael pulls out the card and says, "and they're me."
what happened to lily and Albert
@Kayleigh Reimert with who?
He should have said "It'sa me! Michael"
Trollzy _ with Sarah, but it's an old news anyway
When poki made car sounds it sounded like Homer Simpson doing the “stand back I got a chainsaw”
10:37 the music, the slow zoom in, the blank stare on scarra's face. It was just perfect
What's the song tho
8:13
“Oh no, I have coronavirus now”
-Michael, 2020
the 3 words that will get views “date, lily, and michael”
Michael Shuster you’re not wrong
*ft. Michael Reeves
Ok true
Michael Reeves is like the fan favorite lol
That’s 4 words
"They are half mermaid."
Pokimane: "Which half?"
Asking the real question right there...
Imagine walking in to the room and seeing a reversed mermaid just sitting there
@@anthonythomas Yeah.. Merpeople usually only have fins and gills. Maybe the occasional scales but that's about it.
So my thought is if the lower half is the mermaid... then there's no sex man. What is he supposed to fuck you with? His fin?
The left half fish,, right half man
she stole that question from toast 😂 toast used that long time ago😂
Fed: "That would be like dating Yvonne, I'm just not into it"
That aged well
13:02 scarra's face when poki put that sabotage
Scarra: "He has two other spouses."
Lily: *Vietnam Flashbacks*
その犬を食べ lol Albert do be a lil bitch tho
Fuckkkkkkk
this is the first comment ive seen abt albert thats actually funny, so props to u man lmao
Is that what happend?
@@Clonetrooper7765 yes
"Has two other spouses"
Lily: *intense vietnam flashbacks*
oof
THAT DIDNT AGE WELL
@@priimcry this was made after the drama
@@royaljelly1050 i mean obviously yeah
@@priimcry sorry I misunderstood. I thought you meant the comment didn't age well.
Fed saying he is not into Dating Yvonne didn't age so well
This feels a little paradoxical- playing red flags with Fed at the end. XD
When lily and Michael have a kid, that child’s height will probably max out at 3’5
Don’t do that, don’t give me hope
And will be a mad scientist who's also a psychopath but cute
i feel like the child would grow up to be like this
an actual crackhead who tazes the crap out of people in their class
Anatidaephobia probably
@@kiro968 Ziggs?
"No one smokes crack in this house"
*Zooms in on Michael's face*
"I do"
Yes we know you tazer wielding turtle exterminator
Missed the chance to say "turtle terminator"
Isn´t it illegal to consume crack? Won´t he be investigated if the police see all these videos of him confessing he makes (because in the lie detector test he said that he makes crack and the machine said it was true) and smokes crack? xddd
@@repoioxd2638 no, for a few different reasons:
1. Lie detector tests can't be used as evidence in a trial because they are often incorrect - for example, one's heartbeat can increase upon being accused of something generally seen as scandalous or generally the machine is often innaccurate.
2. His remarks wouldn't legally hold up as a "confession" under the court of law, for a few different reasons you can Google yourself, and there is no probable cause to search for any evidence of crime.
Lily: "we don't actually snort crack."
Michael: "no i do"
16:58
"2021"- is that a sign or something? Is something bad gonna happen or something good?
16:58 when fed picked Michael’s card, the overall score was 2 0 2 1
fed will get a girlfriend in 2021
No
* boyfriend*
Lies and deceit my friend
Oh my God...ok it's happening...don't panic... EVERYONE STOP PANICKING
Now they'll have two crack addicts!
“He also has TWO other spouses!”
Lily dont worry, his other commitments are to his garage and Minecraft
I mean you are not wrong.
1000th like!
lord knows its not his channel
@@bestnameever1850 LMFAO
Michael last time: "yeah you can fly super fast without hurting yourself, ever seen someone on a hang glider?"
Michael this time: "you would freeze to death on the flying carpet, it would be fucking horrible."
to be fair wind chill in 45 would feel like 32 or less especially without any barriers aside from clothing..
@@ThatWhichObserves it took me a while to figure out you meant fahrenheit.
5:37 *god, that is so cursed*
"We don't actually smoke crack IN this house." They smoke outside. Gotem.
We don't actually smoke crack in THIS house
That implies they go outside though
@@icesentry they can smoke in others houses
You're really pretty
Yeah why do you think michaels always out in the garage
Lily: "eyyy i gotchu michael"
Next round:
Michael: "FORTY FIVE DEGREE WEATHER, COVID"
lol yessssss
That just about sums it up
I really want to say that people talk about 45 degree weather as if that's unbelievably cold, but different things are cold to different people, especially depending on where they're from. In California, 45 degrees probably is pretty cold to most of the inhabitants. That's probably not the case in, say, New York though. I always forget about that difference and almost don't remember it by the time I go to speak about it.
i come back here every once in a while to have a laugh,,
kinda want them to do this with the new members john, jodi, and sydney ^^^
9:40 Lily defending being in a band called genocide warts just fits after watching drunk presentation.
Card: Is Michael Reeves
Me: Wow, that's like an automatic win
Card: ...Has two other spouses
Me: *PTSD Intensifies*
Oooohhhh shit......
RAOUL
forsenCD PICK A CARD ✨ forsenCD ANY CARD ✨ forsenCD THE 2 OF WIVES? ✨ forsenCD EXCELLENT CHOICE ✨
At least he was transparent from the start
What happen
michael: I smoke crack
lily: for legal reasons that's a joke
For serious DEA agents - please don't jail us, that's a joke.
Susan and fbi pls don't kill us that's a joke
Pewdipie? Hmmmmm
@@nopleasefrick2025 of course it is
@@someguy2744 that was amazing.
“That’d be like dating Yvonne and I’m not into it” -Fed. Well that statement aged poorly
funny how fed says it's like dating yvone and proceeds to get kicked out of OTV
Michael: and they are me
Me: that's a pro gamer move
I like how the Dr Disrespect song plays as the card "has two other spouses" is played
even at 10:38 they play it as a reference
Why?
@@bucket2891 dr disrespect cheated on his wife
@@Edjeee I think you mean the magic violinist?
the best a man can get
Anybody notice at the end that the scores of Michael, Scarra, Poki and Lily say "2021"
This called me lonely in 2,463 languages with each in 420,069 fonts...
“TWO OF WIVES” CRACKED ME UP
is there any back story to that joke, because its funny but they were laughing so hard it feels like it was an old meme
@@finr4228 ya it is. The music that they were playing in the background was drdisrespect's. Drdisrespect cheated on his wife a few years ago and it was really big.
@@finr4228 Albert (sleightlymusical) cheated on Lily. He did a bunch of card tricks and magic on stream, so there was an AlbertCD copypasta of "the two of wives". It's now used as a meme to represent cheating like the champions club.
Finn Ragozzino Basically what last comment said. To give even more context: Lily was dating someone named Albert. They were in a long-term relationship for quite some time. One day, one of their mutual friends (Sarah) was streaming and she leaked a Google Docs on stream of her and Albert talking to each other on it. One line would be one message, the other line would be the message from the other person. It was a very sneaky way that would leave no traces of communication, if they would have executed it better. Albert was a magician, and since he who timed, they said, “The two of wives?” That’s why Lily followed up with “Pick a card any card.”
i'd also like to point out that they started playing Dr Disrespect's "gillette" and Dr Disrespect cheated on his wife lmao
Michael: And.... _They're me_
What a big gamer move
Great username
16:07 I love the triumphant music in the background when Michael says he is addicted to crack
I love Lily and Micheal. They're so sweet and chaotic and they like making others uncomfortable with their sappiness.
Lily:she own's real dinosaurs
Mykull: *imagines about tazing a t-rex*
Not tazing a t-rex, a t-rex that tazes people.
mykull
mykull
mykull
I was thinking more along the lines of using them as means of mass destruction lmao
"We don't actually smoke crack in this house" -Lily
"I do!" -Michael
lol
13:07 Talk about going out with a bang (works on multiple levels)
16:47 is literally the description of lily now, reliable, supermodel and addicted to crack
lily:"she has the most attractive garage yourve ever seen"
micheal: well actually, I dig that.
Huh. No comments.
@@Penguinman2.0 You had one job
Let’s fill this comment up!!!!
Yes lets
Lily and Michael: *being cute*
Yvonne: I hate you guys
Fed: I wanna kill myself
why did this make me chuckle
That was the most relatable part
I felt that on a spiritual level. Hope Fed's doing better.
Kevin Nguyen 666th like
They're so adorable though
1:24 POKI AND TOAST'S FACE
Toast?
@@idarinecake1735 the picture behind poki
O HHAHAHAHAHAHA XDDD
1:08
ah dont mind me, im just dropping this cute timestamp for me in the future
Everyone "We dont smoke crack in the house
Michael: I Do
i do be quirky as always xD and its hileriouse
ManiX207 I know right? He’s so Heeleeryouse
Michael and Fed: "we can work around the crack"
Poki: **visible confusion**
Also Poki: **literally has an underage girl** "you can wait :)"
What does crack mean?
@@daveyoscale786 Cocaine, it means cocaine hun.
@@harospectre2505 oh thanks
@@harospectre2505 Well it's crack cocaine, it's different than regular coke. They're solid stones instead of powder.
@@i.a.galkin6042 exactly
Michael's two other spouses:
Drunk Lily And Lily2
Reechu is the best couple that i've found in the internet since I was a viewer of both of them even tho they're just friends yet. The relation betweeb the two grew overtime and it just amaze me. So cute. .
Scarra: "But he also has 2 other spouses"
*Gillette starts playing*
ForsenCD yeah so?
Albertcd
Why not get two more husbands while you’re at it? gachiHYPER
the funniest part of the video
Rauuuuuuuuul
pick a card, any card
Poki: Which half?
Ok....then imagine an upper fish with human lower body
This is probably the 13th time I’ve watched this and it never gets old. Can we get a part 3 plzzx
Scarra: Last time we made the perfect girlfriend for Fed
Poki: Where is she?
Fed: *Aight Imma head out*
Yuna omegaLaul
But he cant cuz of the virus
@@kenjjen1929 why yuna?
@@iN_Vz jk jk
This was filmed a while ago
Lays down "addicted to crack" red card
Mykull: I see this as an improvement...
2:56 ok what a sliiiick move, holy shit Michael, didnt had to destroy them like that lmao
7:32 it reminds me of the time, when i acted that scene out eith my crush in front of many other teenagers... i loved playing aladdin, but i knew i would never be her type, so i didnt even try... sad but it still sounds nice
“Kicks every animal he sees.”
Me: “A human... is an animal...”
ShxcksILost MyBread yeah but you get it right?
Kinky
Seamus Walker no-
Lol
i see no problem here
0:26
Scarra: "we lost Fed"
me: dis guy can predict the future
We get it it’s been a year get over the drama idiots
@@user-dm5pv6fm8g Its still a good joke
@@user-dm5pv6fm8g Sexual Misconduct isn't drama. It's a fucking felony.
@@Ali-xw5nw that doesnt change the fact that its been over 1 fucking year and its fairly annoying to have every comment still going on about it, if this was just a random dude and a random girl it may last a few months but not one fucking year moron
@@user-dm5pv6fm8g Guess what, they weren't a random girl/guy so this incident came to light. So no this will not die down and it shouldn't so that this doesn't happen again in this community.
I just realized that their scored makes "2021"
I might be a year and a half late, but it's NEVER too late to appreciate It's Showtime! from the Undertale OST being played in the background during the very first round
Lily: She's really fit, like she exercises.
Scarra: okay...
Lily: Nice ass...ets
Last Date: Fed
Final Score: 2 0 2 1
Fed you'll find the one in 2021
even the archery video support the statement, this is why the ship recently wont work, because its supposed to be next year
Is them niggas are still alive by next year or any of us
rip Funa
It has been set in stone
@@fischwell yeah.. However we still need to get rid off those weird ass thrash ass virgin ass donation man
15:58 What's the difference?
4:43 sounds like an ad explaining how to play the game.
Fed : That would be like dating yvonne, im just not into it
Also fed :
Dude to frickin soon
Lol
😐
This did not age well
Or it did
@@hollowollowyeet886 **insert mandatory VSauce music here**
Lily: *Helps Michael*
Michael: *Ain’t doin’ shit in return*
Lily: *Surprised pichu face*
That's the beauty of their relationship
Well i mean he does help by being content so
@sans
🤯
SURPRISED PICHU FACE LMAO
Only me?
@@riddle1_1 I love how they're playing these cards like Yu-Gi-Oh this time lol