NONVIOLENT COMMUNICATION: CONFLICT RESOLUTION DEMO WITH MY BOYFRIEND
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- čas přidán 2. 06. 2019
- How to move from disconnection and misunderstanding to harmony and clarity? I will demonstrate it with my boyfriend in this video. I will give you 7 secrets to resolving a conflict easily.
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#nonviolentcommunication #NVC #cupofempathy #Mariannevandijk
Wow! Very touched by your vulnerability 🙏 Thank you for the demo.
This is incredibly helpful! My boyfriend and I are at an impasse and I'm realizing it is our communication style with conflict. I've been learning about NVC and your videos are really helping. Especially how you express yourself with him. I would love more videos of you two working out problems. The real life example is helpful beyond words.
I've been angry at my husband because of something he said, so I decided to download the Tough Talk sheet and follow all steps. I haven't shared it with him yet but I'm amazed at how it has helped me understand my feelings. The anger I thought I was feeling was actually a mix of other feelings, such as disappointment and vulnerability.
It's beautiful to see that not only does NVC help one communicate better, but it also makes us get in touch with our inner selves and thus understand ourselves better.
You are making a huge difference in people's lives. I truly appreciate that. Thank you!
I am - so - impressed by the sheer courage it must have taken for you two to actually share a moment so personal for both of you.
Hands down one of the best contents that can be found on internet these days. Thank you for your kindness.
Conflict resolution talks are never a piece of cake, and I would personally be too out-focused from the camera eyeballing me to be able to go through with the talk^^'' amazing confidence you guys have in each other - very inspiring!
Wow! I found this really helpful and am excited to put this in practice ❤️ sometimes I get really impatient or also fear being unheard or misunderstood and seeing you two speak and listen slowly, mindfully, attentively, and patiently really gave me an idea of how I can navigate my triggers, even in my own head. Great video!!
Wow, watching this was exhausting!
I feel relieved to see that others - NVC experienced others - also need to take their time to find out what is going on inside them and how to express it. I thought it was just me taking ages to express myself in this form :D Thank you for the encouragement and insights!
I feel happily jealous seeing how lovely you two care for each other ❤️
Thanks!! Actually we split up, haha, so maybe there is another relieve that also NVC trainers dont always stay in relationships..
This is beautiful, and super useful. Thanks for noting the techniques as they were used. I'm a new subscriber, love your work, keep it up! :D
I'm still giving this video to friends! You record the only "real" conflicts that I can find online. I'm so hungry for these that I would volunteer to be the non-nvc person! Seriously - you are building a new path.
Thanks so much Teska!! That is so encouraging to hear.
Okay, so this is my first comment on CZcams ever. I could not be silent and not to express my admiration to you, Cup of Empathy. It is so encouraging to see how confusing to identify emotions and needs it can be even for mindfull people who are aware of NVC method. I still struggle with it sometimes. Thank you so much for being so opened and vulnerable. I cried with you while watching the video. It was healing and very helpful. Thank you.
Thank you so much and what an honor that I got you moved to make a comment for the first time!! Keep me posted :-)
The vulnerability and patience shared is a gift. Thank you for demonstrating live how it can be accomplished.
Very clear and touching and thank you for your openess!
So beautiful and so usefull!!! Thank you soo much!! You both for sharing!!!
Oh this made me cry. When he reflects back. This is beautiful.
Both of you look so patient and calm listening to each other. Surely this comes after the emotional storm has passed, but congrats anyway :)
I can get angry and emotional even when im explaining myself 😆 not to mention if i have to defense myself 😜
SO relatable, validaing and will help me greatly in the future to solve those conflicts with my partner!!! Thank you!
This is amazing! So very helpful! I can't stop watching it. Thank you both for sharing this!! Teska
Thanks for sharing this, with such naked honesty. Hugely benificial, Thanks! I thought that he was trying to clarify the 'Observation' part, and that 'connection' was your initial need. Hugely appreciate these videos, Im learning so much X
That was beautiful. It was very interesting to see how you were able to meet each other "in the middle" as it seems like you are more engaging this from a place of feelings and your partner is more logical. You were able to make him understand your needs and thus enable him to let go of the need to be "right" and instead see the needs/feelings behind it firstly. NVC is very challenging but is there anything more important than how we communicate with ourselves and others? Thank you so much for sharing.
Glad you enjoyed it!
Thank you so much for sharing this
So valuable to see, thank you for being so vulnerable & open 🙏✨
Thank you so much!
The beauty of truth.
Thank you so much for sharing what we all should be reminded of in the "jackal times" we live in: The deeply caring souls we are born with.
Thank you both so much for being vulnerable and willing to share this with us
Thanks for your videos.
Thank you for this. 🥰
Thank you a lot for this video!
You're very welcome!
Wow! That was painful to watch. I anticipated the reaction of sadness right after he explained what he needed in a logical way. I do this and don't understand another way. Again and again I find myself at that exact same impasse and it never seems to matter how big it little the actual problem is. I want to thank you both for your courage to make this video. I can't yet wrap my thoughts around what I watched but it's safe to say I can see it from a little different perspective because I was not personally involved or triggered. Thank you
I'm no relationship expert but if this is how both of u compromise it appears u both have a long loving rewarding relationship to look forward to. I thought ur other video was a one off and that's why I reached out with my gmail. I didnt know u had a channel and understood so commitedly these ideas.
Hi Marianne, thank you for sharing this touching video! One question. What do you mean with "being full"? I have heard you say this in various videos. Does it mean that we need space and should take a break because we can't absorb anymore information? Thank you for all your great work! Cheers Sonia
Amazing. Thanks. I just stumbled into your videos. I've been watching everything I can find from Marshall Rosenberg and now I see I can go through your videos and absorb more wonderful examples. I need these examples. I see the power in this, but I stumble badly when I attempt NVC. (I'm blessed with a very difficult but patient wife)
I very much dislike making mistakes, because I am afraid of being vulnerable. I find your example of being vulnerable to be immensely moving and inspiring. You are groping around making mistakes and not being perfect shows me that maybe I don't need to be afraid. There may be a different kind of power that is more beautiful in being imperfect and human. (Is that power called love?)
Wow. Thank you for this comment. I have never seen or known a man in my life who is so clear and honest. I really appreciate that and am moved by it too. I hope things are well with you and your wife.
@@reneesolana6697 Thank you. Happy to hear it helps.
Yes things are fine we me and my wife.
It has been interesting that my wife is more interested in what I discover when using NVC to analyze myself. No interest at all, more like disinterest with disgust, when it seems I am analyzing where she is. Thankfully NVC does not need to be practiced overtly, it still helps with active listening.
Thank you so much for this honest sensitive video of solving conflict. That was really helpful and gave me great ideas for solving conflicts in my 44year marriage :)
yay so happy to hear that!
thank you. that was great. wondering how much you have worked on your communications already..... both of you are open to listening..... so was that always how it was, or did u work on that for a while. ?
Very nice and helpfull form to ellaborate this. What would be even more helpful if you'd make the situation more clear: what is this dialogue/conflict about?
thnk u
This is like a meta-argument about arguments...
eu tou meio em choque pra ser sincera
40 word limit y'all
Is your boyfriend a Virgo by chance?
He's a Scorpio! Why?
Cup of Empathy
I’m willin to bet he’s got Virgo in his natal chart cuz he said his favorite strategy is to analyze things & that is a common trait I notice with Virgo’s
@@mizzprezli Oh please, shut up your nonsense and take your new age bullshit somewhere else.
@@CupofEmpathy Why do you respond to this stupid question while leaving nonadressed other commenter's questions that are much more important?
@@mizzprezli My ascendant is Scorpio and we are some of the most analytical of the bunch. Strong need to be right or correct what we see in others, the world and ourselves
This video does NOT represent respectful communication. In fact, it is a very good example of unequal communication, and a possibly abusive relationship. This is why: The woman initiates the communication. She is open, loving and warm. The dude is cold, with a thin veneer of friendly. He sets the baseline for the communication on HIS terms. She tries to connect with him, unsuccessfully, and at 9:43 she collapses emotionally. Only then do his barriers come down. He is clearly more comfortable when she is distressed and not in her power. It seems to me this lovely woman is doing all she can to learn communication strategies in the mistaken belief it will make her boyfriend present with her. It never works. In a relationship of equals where the power is shared, you do not need to try this hard.
The idea that those who are analytical by default are abusive is toxic.
One could go line-by-line here and adjust the framing to say the exact opposite and it would be just as valid -- "he is clearly more comfortable when she is distressed" can just as easily be presented as "he makes himself more emotionally vulnerable, even though it's difficult for him, as a means of comforting her when she's distressed." This analysis only works because you've assumed that the 'warm' outer presentation is preferable and "comfortable" for him, but don't seem to take into account that 'warm, emotional' presentations can be used to coerce just like the 'cold and analytical' can (or that he's just masking, which opens up an entire Narnia of ableism and autism discourse).
Analyzing a ten-minute conversation between two people and making conclusions about their relationship writ large is bad enough on its own, but it's highly irresponsible to claim it presents evidence of abuse.
Side note: if your commentary includes "[Person does x.] It never works" in regards to one single conversation (especially one in which she specifically says she considers the conflict resolved), that's not an analysis of that interaction - that's projection.
I can put myself easily in this couples shoes. If you come to me and say I never clean the toilet and I know that I have then we have an issue. I need to know this conversation is happening in reality and good faith. Let's first clear the facts up. If it's understood that I do infact clean the toilet but the real issue is I don't do it as frequently as my significant other would like that is an entirely different conversation. I am by no means saying I am right. Just my perspective. I have had alot of the conversations and they go poorly. I wonder if she couldnt have just said I am upset you don't take all of my request as seriously as I would like. You clean the toilet sometimes but other times you don't. If he agrees with her then it's easy to see them talking about how that makes her feel disconnected, disrespected or even alone in the relationship but if she says you never clean the toilet and he says yes I have and she then quickly makes the conversation about emotions and connection when the conversation began as a factual argument then there is going to be difficulty.
@@michaelsager5688 Agree, I felt the issue was never resolved, but rather commandeered into something else entirely. No agreement was made about the factuality of the conflict, nor what will happen going forward regarding the durned toilet. Talking about how to approach communication with one another is great, but not actually putting it toward solving the issue at hand isn't.
Sorry, I stopped listening to the man after the first 30 seconds
Why did u stop? Do mind sharing this with me? I'm no troll or provocateur but I'd like to understand what feeling were behind ur decision. Their valid regardless.