Autism and friendship
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- čas přidán 14. 11. 2017
- I have always found it hard to make friends. This video describes my experience making friends from my early years to the present day. I now have a couple of friends, who, like me, are autistic. I find groups difficult because it is harder to keep up with the conversation, and I get overloaded. I am much better one to one with someone I have built up a rapport with, and who shares my interests and outlook on the world. This is part 1. Part 2 will follow on from this video very shortly, so excuse the abrupt cutting off!!
As someone on the spectrum myself, this spoke to me so much. I'm better at it now, but I had trouble making friends up until sixth grade. Even now, I still find it hard to make friends. I'm also quiet, so that makes it harder. Hearing your experiences comforts me, knowing that there are people who go through similar experiences.
I can relate to this video so much... I always had one friend at a time growing up, I couldn't even fathom having more than one, or even a desire to have more than one. And I also felt a bit betrayed when they hung out with someone else.
After school now (I'm 29), it seems pretty much impossible for people like us to befriend someone because it's already awkward to meet someone as an adult let alone meet someone with our social...disabilities? People just think we're weird....I feel a bit lonely, but that emotion is more like a rollercoaster because at times I'm depressed but at other times I'm really happy that I'm alone because I like the quiet and I don't have to exhaust myself with social interactions.
I would love to meet people with autism around me, I just have no clue on how to do that, I don't think there's any programs (that I'm aware of). Anyway, I got carried away and wrote a book it seems LOL! It was really nice hearing your story. Have a good day!😀
Glad it was helpful. I get the impression that having and needing one friend at a time is a common autistic trait. All my current friends are autistic, but it took me such a long time to meet these people, and I was in my mid twenties before I made any real friends. I met my current friends via various autism support groups.
Good point-it’s like your social but you hurt ppl bc your not good at it.
I have got autism spectrum, im 22. I moved 6 schools (4 primary, 1 senior and 1 special needs school... I was diagnosed with autism spectrum till I was in year 6, the schools knew I was struggling and having problems with my education, reasons, why I moved school because my parents were trying to find a right school for me and needed to get extra support with my learning,) first 3 schools I went I did had good friends and the kids allow me to be involved, I did hang around on my own when I was in my 3rd primary school because I like to have my own space and I like to have my own company and also I did had friends (I only still keep in touch with one) and 4th primary school I didnt had friendships, I was bullied by 29 out of 32 kids in my class they would often call me the r word eg and I tried to get in groups with the girls but they didnt allow me and the school didnt like me because I am different and I wasnt allowed to go on a residential trip because the headmistress at the time said to my mum that the teachers wont keep an eye on me and they wont cope with me. In Senior I did had friends, classes like my form and others I was often left out and in year 8- 9 I started to hang around with these popular girls I wasnt accept it and I was left out a lot esp in PE and when I went to special needs school i was left out again by girls btw the special needs school i went to didnt had a lot of girl in the school so there were about 50-60 girls in the school and the rest were boys and plus I also got bullied in senior and special needs school.
As college arrived I did made a friend (she was 15 and I was 16) she was the worst friend and she bullied me and made me to be an outsider by her and the other girls and I had friend after that 15 y/o girl she was manipulative and she would often blackmail, harsse me etc.
I have made videos about my bullying experiences, special needs school expereince, my learning disability (obs I dont have learning disability I have got autism), failed friends etc on youtube as me as a 22 year old girl with autism spectrum.
Having Aspergers/ autism is very hard, we are all humans and we should always be included,. You are amazing girl and I am happy for you :)
Thank you so much for sharing your experiences, really interesting, and thanks for your kind words :)
Putting this in my facebook group I started.
Thank you so much :)
This was me as a kid, I had a lot of problems with making friends. I did have friends but it was rare and these friendships were short lived. I fought to be accepted and never was. I believe that education is extremely important that she we teach children with out adhd, autism, aspergers, and other disabilities to be more empathetic to children with these symptoms but it's going to be tough but this is something that desperately needs to be done. With teasing and bullying, we teach neurotypical children what kind of damage it causes to self esteem. I don't know how to get this going but this is something I want to dedicate my life to.
Yes, I agree, it definitely starts with children learning about difference, this should be on the curriculum.
Are u open for collaboration
@@ujoepost I'll think about it, what sort of collaboration do you have in mind?
@@welcome12ization I'm new at this but maybe u could watch one of my videos and give me feedback
@@ujoepost I will take a look soon :)
I had much the same experience in not knowing how to interact with kids in school.I used to stand alone in the playground sometimes. The few friends I had befriended me. When I was a bit older I got rejected as I couldnt really keep up socially and would go quiet a lot. its understandable I guess.
Now I am a bit wary of people , although I try to be polite and friendly people treat you and look at you differntly when they sense something is a bit different about me. So it can be disapointing if you think you are getting on well with someone and then they give you that "look" and they distance themselves form you. oh well.
Thanks for your uploads. It gives people a glimpse into how life can be for people on the spectrum . And for people like me It helps to see I'm not alone in having these experiences.You explain it really well. I'm looking forward to your other vids.
Glad they are helping you Wilbur :)
I had a weird innapropriate reputation at school as well, it just got worse in hs, but didn't get diagnosed until 42.
Watching this brings back a lot of memories to my time at Primary School. I can very much relate to this video. Although Secondary was slightly easier as I was in an Autistic Provision class and had additional support in all the classes and was monitored very closely as well. There were 2 other people who were Autistic in my year and we were friends and got on well. I manage to build a peer group outside of the Provision but it was mainly with people who either had some behaviour issue or had dyslexia we all kept ourselves together. I know that we were laughed at by some of the people in the Mainstream classes but we were also sheltered from it and we did try to shut it out. I do remember in Year 8 we did a module in PSME called Disability not Inability and in that module me and the two other boys in my year had to give a talk to my year about Autism and Asperger that was when I started to learn about Autism and by then I already knew I had AS I remember being told 2 facts which have changed since and this was back in 1999 1 That there are many people who are Autistic who will never know - since then more and more people being diagnosed later in life 2 It was very rare for girls to be Autistic - again since then things have changed. My school was a mixed school the Autistic Provision was at the time a bit of a boys club. I am convinced now looking back there were girls who were Autistic that were being ignored or got some sort of support but at the same time given a hard time.
Thanks so much for sharing your experience :)
Great video! Thank you for talking about your experiences. I've recently been told that I probably have Asperger's, and so I have an appointment to be tested in nine days. I was able to make friends when I was younger, but I haven't have a friend for 18 years now (I'm 33). I'm going to subscribe.
I only started to make friends properly once I got the correct diagnosis. Good luck with the testing :)
Thank you very much. I'm glad you have some friends, because you seem like a very nice person.
Well, I'm digging this cool british slang, the most british channel on youtube, I"ll be picking up phrases.
iam 34 igot mild autism had sezuires when iwas young i still find it hard to form friendships but iam still trying thou
Good to keep trying and never give up :)
and i train at the gym 4 days a week it has help me with my social skills i get helloos and smiles off a lot of people just cant seam to make friends but iamhappy i allways go hope that one day i will and have and never had a relationship even but i belive it will happen when the time is right thanksfor sharing your video
Maybe the teachers didn't know how to make friend's themselves~and that's why their advice to you didn't work out!
I tried to follow your presentation but you lost me at certain points due to rapidity of talk. I then replayed it without sound and saw how fast your lips moved at precisely those times that you lost me.
Check it out.
The following is my opinion:
I found it much easier to make friend's when I was a much younger pre~teen and teenager because many were from the same or similar school environment where there were plenty of young people to pick from~one cannot help but run into them! Same for young adulthood, because of the adventureousness of young adults.
After those periods of life, people tend to branch out to settle down~most often to establish families of their own and build careers.
Now, for myself as a "senior", I find it difficult to find real friends because so few share what I find important. But that isn't problematic for me because of the goals I pursue as well as the interests I enjoy. But I do enjoy friendship.