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I just overheard my future mother-in-law call me stupid in front of the whole family...
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- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
- u/umieranie
I just overheard my future mother-in-law call me stupid in front of the whole family, and they all laughed and agreed, now I'm thinking it's stupid to still get married. Plus one update.
#reddit #redditupdates #redditstories
Imagine calling someone stupid for having an inquisitive mind. That’s literally the opposite of stupid in my book.
Well i always says that it's takes intelligence to reconise it.
Those who don't read have no advantage over those who can't read!
reminds me of people who call non-native speakers dumb for not knowing the language
could be their 5th language and yet because they "sound" stupid they're labeled it by actual morons
Condemning curiosity is the same as celebrating ignorance
Someone once told me "There is no shame in NOT knowing. The shame comes when you don't WANT to know. 😑
It's called willful ignorance
Nothing wrong with being inquisitive about random things. I still am in my 30+ years of life. I just look for answers on my own or from someone smarter -and/or wiser than me.
I'm 70 years old, before I retired I had 200 people working for me. I have about 6 years of University, a 165 IQ when tested . I still learn new things every day, and am constantly on Wiki and Google doing research on things I don't know. Only ignorant people don't ask questions...
Run! Not a misunderstanding. The fact that he had no positive comeback to his family says it all.
Always remember, you are not just marrying your spouse, but the family as well. Note the way they behave and your partner will most likely behave the same way.
This one girl was really interested in make our relationship permanent. But I couldn't. Her entire family was just a mess.
Her parents and her brothers and sister each have their own sad pathetic story. Most of it self imposed.
When she showed how jealous she could get. I ended it. The in-laws can ruin a marriage.
I’ll bet the ex will blame his mom, who in turn will blame him, and it’ll become a whole shitshow that she doesn’t have to be a part of.
Ur so wrong on that. he barely cared about the OP's feelings in the first place, so he just going to act like she's in the wrong, and the mom will support him in that.
@@Such121literally this! They will both blame OP. No question!
"How does time work in a black hole?"
That's the neat part! It doesn't!
Damn-It Now I have research to do!
As an Astronomy Student I laugh at This .Does time work on a Black hole?Yes But actually no
It gives up.
We actually have atomic clocks that have proven how gravity can influence time. It’s super cool! I really wish I knew the OP. I’m also one who asks lots of questions and am considered stupid by most (ADHD + too much curiosity), so having fellow lovers of knowing-stuff around is always awesome! I recently graduate college and not having my language or science buddies to chat with is tough.
@@Alex-is8hk Same here not ADHD just curios. Helped me a lot when I entered in writing hobby and find other curious people, so keep asking. And also my college had one those clocks,awesome as heck.
People who don't defend their partners don't deserve to have a partner. Early on in our relationship, my mother-in-law would constantly make fun of my height, my accent, the way I talk and bring up my race/ethnicity all the time. My wife pretty much just sat through the whole thing and never said anything. Never defended me. Eventually I had to tell the obnoxious MIL to basically go eat a d**c. And then my wife actually tried to gas light me and had ME to go apologize to her! This created a giant rift in our relationship that NEVER healed to this day, and we're right on the verge of getting a divorce.
All in all, OP, drop him like a hot potato! Not worth getting those headaches. If I could time travel, I would tell myself to never get into a relationship with my now wife. Honest to God.
I'm sorry that you are going through this
I would explain it at first and then do not bother. "Old trees should not be replanted" - it's called wisdom. But in same time I would explain it to kids why it is wrong and use it as example.
Honestly, excellent questions.
Finding a person who is curious about the world, is an attractive personality trait. It demonstrates a deeper purpose to life, and that shallowness has no merit.
How else are you meant to know if you don’t ask questions
Do research ?
@@bucherondubois9629 yeah you do the research by asking questions to the right people and the right sources, it always starts with a question
@@ordomachinum4016 I beg of you to stop defending somoene in the wrong. In her story she clearly stated she asks a ton of question instead of noting them and then go on googlde to find answers. I bet most of her questions aren't even answerable by her husband's family.
like how you find out someone name a few weeks after meeting them, just roll with it and pretend you know it until somebody mention the stuff
I had a similar experience with my job. I am an older female and have worked very hard. I find the computer difficult but do know what I need to do for my job and do it well. Came in late one day and everybody was in the staff room. I overheard some of the conversation about me and they were laughing so hard they didn’t hear me come in. I realised that there was only one person defending me😢. I handed in my resignation before I broke down in the car😢😢 I did have a fabulous relationship with all our clients and within two weeks I had three jobs offers which made my day😂😂😂😂😂
They disrespect you and laugh at you not with you, leave and find a better man.
I'm 60 yrs old and have a 140+ IQ - and I LOVE when my Lady-friend asks me questions about stuff that I know about, but I'm also the first to admit that I don't know everything, either, and I LOVE to learn. Curiosity is a WONDERFUL thing!
You sound so cool :]
I ask questions about random topics like that all the time. The people in my life appriciate that about me, and often ask me similarly random questions because they know I've probably read up on it. The OP is young, and it's easy to end up surrounded by people who don't appreciate you if you've never known anything else. Thankfull, she handled it well, learned her lesson, and won't be making that mistake again.
Good for her. She trusted her gut and when she brought it up to him, his first instinct was to gaslight her and make her seem like she was at fault. Man, fuck that. If you married that guy, you'd have to deal with that MIL for as long as your married. I applaud you for realizing your worth and that you deserve someone who will have your back. If my mom ever mocked my partner behind his back, she's never hear the end of it and future contact would be limited to phone calls and the yearly Christmas card.
1:31 OP sounds so cute :C and they are being assholes to her... as if they knew all these things, as if they didnt google stuff every now and then
Good job. Sound to me like they knew how isolated you were and that you would have no support. People like that will absolutely take advantage of that.
I am german. There was a kids show in germany with a theme song that had the line (translated, cause it was in german): "Who?, How?, What?, Why?, who don't asks stays dumb!". I always remebered that. You have to ask questions to learn.
Nothing wrong with wanting to learn. Even if someone thought she was a bit much, why demean her about it?
Because they lack that basic curiousity, the VERY thing that makes us Smarter. EVERY Wild-born Animal lifeform - with the possible exception of basic evolutionary-throwback creatures such as Amphibians & Gastropods, have an innate need to learn as much about their world as they can. Any that don't - and remain stupid - are picked off by Natural Selection - a thing humanity is in DIRE need of these days.
run. don' walk away
No one said a word about what the fiance's dad had to say at the barbecue. Except, I guess, "they all laughed". This whole family lacks character. It sounds like they just follow the mom as their leader. OP is far better off without them. Better this happened before the wedding. The funny part is that the fiance apparently really does like, or at least need, OP, yet he's still willing to go along with the herd. Sad.
A husband who can't defend his wife is as useful as a house with no roof
Your man cannot control how his mum talks/feels about you…BUT he can control how he deals with it. He will only ever have one mum, but he should let her know how he feels about you and what he is NOT prepared to put up with.
From your viewpoint I would be more concerned with how he dealt with his mum’s comments, how he defended you, than with what she actually said and how anyone else agreed or disagreed.
I am 70 years old, and in my life I have only ever had two people defend me, apart from those I served with. One was my lovely dad, and the other was my eldest daughter. Do not let that happen to you.
This sounds like me!! I am very curious and have been called stupid too. I avoid those people. They have closed minds and are boring!!
Naw... you cant TRY to defend someone, he either defends you or he doesn't....
He's a liar. Find someone who really loves you.
I wish I had this kind of courage decades ago.
The MIL will play the long game to destroy your marriage.
I’ve been there.
You did the right thing.
Just remember, if people stopped asking questions, new medicines would not be found, there would be no planes, trains and cars. Hell, we still be running around in animal skins and throwing rock at the moon! There are so many amazing things in this world. How can you not ask, who, what, where, when or why? Good luck. Hope you find someone worthy of you.
Questioning is how science works. No question is stupid if you don't know the answer, something my college calc teacher always said. She also used to say that Texas Instrument gave you a brain...so use it...🤭
Only stupid person would laugh at others desire to know
If you can't RESPECT someone for who they are,.........You won't love them for who they are either. You can't have love without respect.
Run your man's a mommas boy and his mom will always be his only love
Yeah that MIL was a piece of work - very likely a see you next Tuesday - I'm glad OP left.
This does seem like an appropriate reaction to such a family. I hope the next person OP meets is entirely better to/for them.
Well done. not knowing things and asking questions is not stupid. Stupid are people that act like they know everything or those afraid to ask and learn about anything. What's the old saying? The only stupid question id the old you don't ask. For whatever it's worth I'm proud of you. Keep your head up.
OP (or AI) should have said something right then and there to the whole family about how they were speaking about them. Your fiancé not sticking up for you tells you everything you need to know about him and his family. Get out of that situation immediately, your future will be miserable.
His family is terrible, and so is he for not defending her. There is nothing wrong with asking questions and wanting to know more about the world.
I hope she stays away from him, but i hope she keeps in touch with the one person who did stand up for her.
My partner is a very smart person. He's well-versed in American and Angli-saxon history. If i have a question, i ask. He never belittles me and, because we're both nonconfrontational, he takes me to another room to talk and calm down when someone makes a comment i don't take well.
I ask myself these things all the time, look em up and learn things I never even thought about.
How do catapults work? => what shapes do they come in? => the most famous form of catapults in the middle ages, the trebuchet originates from china.
What's that wavy pattern on the blades of samurai swords? => It's called hamon line and was deliberately shaped with clay by the weapon smith before tempering. => 7 different specialized artisans are needed for a single katana.
Rabbit holes, I tell you!
I'm 47 and still ask stupid questions. I'd rather sound stupid for a few seconds by asking than remain ignorant for a lifetime by never having found the answer.
I blame the school system.
Kids in kindergarten ask stuff all the time. 6-8 years into the school system, and that childlike curiosity has been killed in most students.
If you are annoyed by a question, unless it has been discussed just minutes prior, ask yourself this: can you answer it? If yes, why don’t you want to? If no, shouldn’t you be more embarrassed not knowing the answer?
Nothing wrong with having an inquiring mind
Everyone doesn’t see colors the same. We know that because some are color blind, and some can’t see different shades of colors. I ask a lot of questions, too😎
Sugar in soup? Yuck!
Just tomato soup. They use it in tomato sauce, as well, to counteract the acidity of the tomatoes.
@@sonjebianca2483 you Yanks smother everything in sugar. The acidity is the point of tomato soup.
@@stephaniewilson3955 Yup! That’s why our food is so good. Why do you think so many people risk their necks to sneak across our boarders? It certainly isn’t our sparkling personalities. 😂
@@sonjebianca2483 They are running away, not to, and your food is not the reason they arrive as you can tell by the much better food they provide in their homes and restaurants. All that sugar is why diabetes is surging in your country.
I train apprentices as part of my job growth. The ones who ask questions and pay attention to my teachings are the ones that can benefit from my experience. I never do these instructions in front of others. I draw pictures or bring out the code book to give accurate information as well as help them seek their own answers.
I push them hard but support them well. As their mentor, I take responsibility for their knowledge and it's applications. Respect is the environment that everything works with.
Move on.
Everyone sees colors the same unless you have some sort of colorblindness. Thats the way i see it. I refuse to believe anything else
To be wise is to understand you dont know everything. Op is much wiser than her stbx in law family
They’ll just brush it off
You are not marrying your mother-in-law.
Well done.
She broke the matrix code.
She has evolved.
Next level genius.
"It's not that I am so smart.But I stay with the question much longer." ~ Albert Einstein...
My gown son and I are also perplexed on the time in a black hole Theory😂😂😂😂😂😂
My wife, a 28 year old woman, became quite curious about aliens and asked me stuffs about it in front of my relatives. I know the topic quite well, but she doesn't know that, and our families are quite religious that they take these stuffs childish. I stopped my self from talking about it, specially she works with our church. I'm a closeted atheist, btw. Good thing the theories she talked about are on looney-tune-y, so my answers are on the same level as that and didn't talked the deeper theories and my personal experiences about this.
I think they are good questions. Its fun to learn random things often. I would not marry him. It will all get worse.
I am a senior citizen with a high IQ. I want to know EVERYTHING. Granted, I will probably forget it, but I have innate curiosity, and can spend hours bouncing around Wikipedia. Seeking knowledge is admirable.
Remember, there is no such thing as a stupid question. If you don't know or understand something, don't be embarrassed to ask. It doesn't matter what the topic is or how basic it seems. Even if you are in let's say an advanced math course and you are asking something really basic that you covered years ago, its completely ok! If you don't ask now, you will not understand the material going forward.
Wow OP became child all over again.
seeing the list of questions and the content of the talking-behind-her-back, OP probably ask too many questions to the wrong audience. the only valid reason you ask esoteric question like how the sun works in a family gathering is if one of your family members is an expert or have an interest on the topics. looking at how things develop, they're neither.
an inquisitive mind is great and all, but everything has a time and place
I really like content like this, it sounds so fascinating!
No science is possible without asking questions.
Don't know something ? Just ask.
People makes fun of you for asking ? Go away from them, they're the stupid ones.
Maybe try to let a cooldown between two questions and that's it.
I had a classmate (HS back then which was equal to JHS to you) just like you and I always found her annoying and I thought who was stupid. Always asking questions and prolong the class to the time limit. But at the end of it all, I realised that I actually respected her for that ability to ask question. Come to think of it I was the class' dumbest (I could say I am not THAT dumb, I promise) since I never make my school works cause I'm lazy.
And yet you are self-aware enough to realise this is a YOU issue. That is the first step to improving yourself - if you can find the motivation to do so. From my own perspective & experience, cultivate a love of reading. School is there to teach you reading, writing, & counting. Most of my education came from spending much of my free time delving into books on a given subject I found myself curious about. I do not say this is the only way, or the best way. It was just the best way for me. Find your own path. But you should end EVERY day knowing more than you did on waking up.
The most basic and simplest things put into qustion the more harder is the answer like, why north is called north? Why one is called one (that was a rough one)? or Why west is not call east?
All of the qustion are from children age 3 to 5.
Saying someone is stupid for asking questions is so asinine. Einstein asked whether an elevator was the same as gravity for the observer and he revolutionized the entirety of physics
I still ask questions if I don’t know about the subject. If there are like this now what it going to be like when your marriage.
Well, i couldnt answer one of the question.
It's ok to marry someone that thinks you are stupid. It is NOT ok to marry someone that will let their family call you stupid.
Great stories but the annoying background activity is making me hit “do not recommend.” Actually nauseating.
Oh wow so could have been MIL is ignorant and intimidated
The background is so distracting. It makes it hard to hearing the voices.
Nothing against your curiosity and asking questions. I feel it's an intelligent thing to do. However, lying about your being sick is not the right path to be on. I feel your leaving the gathering is appropriate, but texting your fiancée to say that you don't appreciate being mocked and insulted is much more appropriate. The comments they made are not "just a joke" or a "misunderstanding". The truest people will ever be about you is when they don't know you're around. They drop their guard and speak what they really feel.
Knowing that, and having been married to a person who didn't respect me either, you are much better off with people who appreciate you for who you are. Your fiancée wouldn't insult you or allow others to insult you if he actually loved you. And being in a relationship with someone who's family doesn't respect you will lead to more problems down the road.
You're better off without them in your life, no matter how long you've been together. Learn from it, and learn to avoid those who treat you that way.
tbh the shell or no shell snail is dumb af question XD
boring shit read by AI
First pin pls ❤
No💔
Little bro is NOT getting pinned
Not going to lie. Even her version of herself sounds annoying as heck. Maybe she should ask how many question is too many question to ask. Nothing wrong with asking question, but clearly this young lady has gone overboard with question asking.
OP is wrong. Asking a few questions is one thing but it sounds like she takes it way overboard and far exceeds what is socially acceptable to ask. To formulate and explain matters can often be very taxing on people.
She may be a bit much with all her quastions but that dose not make it okay to bully her or belittle her like that soo no she is not wrong
@@ranoomsh1464 What bullying? They complained about her in confidentiality and she just overheard. They didn't actually do anything to her. OP just calls it "bullying" despite not really getting bullied. Basically the OP is intellectually lazy, justifies it with some saying she once heard, and now winds up acting very annoying. As she annoys pretty much everyone around her, people talk about it behind her back. If they were going to bully her, they would say and do things to her face and/or do things to her physically behind her back. And, instead of learning a lesson in this situation, she just acts self-righteous that she is 100% correct instead of reading nature's message that everyone hates her and even her man doesn't back her up. She doesn't once think to herself, "how is it I'm annoying EVERYONE?".
@@Rorschachqp talking bad about someone behind their back is bullying. you very clearly were a bully in school.
@@kevinbadger8030 Yup, this. They're bullies and AHs, 100%. And OP's ex is disgusting for trying to gaslight her about it when he was called out on it. Had he been a good person, someone worth marrying, he would have apologized immediately. Instead he attacked OP for hearing what they were saying about her, and hearing them laughing at her. Attacking OP for "eavesdropping" is absurd, as if she broke into a private party that she wasn't invited to and eavesdropped on something she had no right to hear. Absolute BS.
@Rorschachqp And why do the people in question not talk with her about this instead of gossiping? Making fun of someone, especially your SO, behind their back is terrible behavior. She overheard how they really felt because none of them had the balls to talk to her directly. If your response to people talking bad about you behind your back is to 'learn a lesson', then you're just looking for excuses for bad and disrespectful behavior.
Now it's her questions, but next time it will be something else they don't like. These people will gladly talk smack behind her back; good riddance to people like that.