When Your Partner's Body Count Is Too High - Retroactive Jealousy
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- čas přidán 19. 03. 2023
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"Bodycount" is a red herring. Well, okay, if the number is just ridiculous it's a thing but mostly ...
Look.
What you're actually worried about is where you fit in the hierarchy of her partners. If you're the best she ever had and she's _actually_ "never felt like this before", her "bodycount" is just a list of the fools who couldn't treat her right.
It's only when guys suspect that she "settled" for them that they feel resentment. That _you're_ the fool who had to shower her with love and gifts and attention in order to get something she gave another man for a couple of tequila shots and an Uber fare. Or that _you're_ the fool who had to build trust over time to get her to do things she did with another man before they even left the bar they met at.
Guys don't like to be made fools of.
You basically just described my RJ in a few sentences. Thank you for this.
Its not your fault that you are disgusted by female promiscuity, thats a biological response. Men want a woman who can stand next to him that every other man wants, but not one can say they've had. Not a women that everyone has had and nobody really wants. The tips given work well with intrusive thoughts of any nature
Only insecure men care about women's body count...
As long as you also don't have a history.
god I feel this way so much except my boyfriend is a male, obviously. It disgusts me so much. I wish I never knew. Our relationship started off randomly so I kinda had to teach him a lot of morals. He's a great man now but every time I think about it I want to throw up or break up with him. This bs aint for the weak hearted
@iz_ray2479 it is very difficult, I live in a small town of less than a thousand people, only 2 small stores, practically any time I go anywhere I run into an ex of my wife's. It's like a punch in the gut every time
One answer to all of this is: focus on personality and person. Good people don't run arround shagging everyone.
😂😂😂
It's not the body count that bothers me, it's the specific details, knowing the names/places/timelines that bother me. As a middle aged man, I just naturally assume that any partner I have here on in will have had numerous partners, that I'm ok with. But the specifics of knowing that my current gf had a brief fling ("weeks") with a famous rapper while he was touring here in Australia, and that he lived with her in her apartment, makes me think that they spent the whole time getting it on. And of course i snooped (no it's not snoop) and found a heap of letters/gifts/hand drawn cards he sent her when he returned to the USA. She's kept these things for nearly 20 years, throughout many relationships before me. Can she not move on? Can I not move on? Her impulse to tell me what probably should have remained an internal story is what irks me so much.
People have pasts, maybe he was an important person to her. Why would this bother you? Do you have no memento from other periods of your life?
I can relate just found out My partner of 15 years when we started dating was sleeping with other 2 people. Now i am so curious and want to know but i have not asked 😢. Now i dont know if that is Reto Jealous or been cheated on and did not know it then .
@@kjsaaaaaaaado you just put having sex partners are the same as getting a gift. WOW! this is crazy.
@@kjsaaaaaaaa NO you took his choose from him if u would be honest with your husband and see if he cool with it I can understand. You don't and the lies that you are setting on is why you are happy your with him buy false pertinent and that man will never know but body count don't matter.
@@kjsaaaaaaaa I think you do. You women keep saying that past don't matter that's cool just be honest with the person your with all.
In this moment right now they are as tey were before
Easier talk than done but thank you, your video brings me some peace in mind. Thank you stranger
Thank you.
You’re very welcome. What was most helpful to you in this video?
Dude, this video made me cry.. It's the best thing ever and I'm so ashamed of myself for judging my partner..
There’s no need to feel ashamed. You can heal from this 😊❤️
In the game of love, women don't play fair. They are flakey, oportunistic begging creatures who run their survival on not being fair towards men. So the fairness argument does not hold water, as we should all play on a level playing field.
in the game of bodycount, men don't play fair. Society is not fair to women, If she has low bodycount she will be called prude or outdated and hard to get but if her count is high she will be called slut and easy girl. No win
I agree with u 1000%
🧐what’s the difference between a man with 20 previous partners and a woman with equal number? Is the man less valuable because the body count? Is the woman less valuable because the same body count? This is ridiculous. i wouldn’t like a high body count because health issues and STD. Prefer to stay clean, alive, healthy and alone.😂😂😂❤I love myself too much.
so, how to know her body count ? she will most likely lie, or like me, i never asked= i know very little of her past, very little, i don't want to know.
sure, rarely you can find out for sure, but what is "for sure"?
A decent woman says true. A whore lies. That's the difference.
I heard once, women lie, they may not tell the truth. So how can you
Tell they have a low body count? You can’t no for sure, but if she does things that make you stick around. Does she respect your time? Does she genuinely want to be with you? These are all good traits in a partner. Just watch for red flags and understand when you see them
The issue is her having engaged (or as your mind torments you ) with other men - perhaps with world class pornstar dongs … the imagination is the worst enemy
True , this will prevent you from
Fully embracing her
Women don't accept being criticized. They believe they are enough and should not change. Society tells us to accept women as they are. So the idea that we should look at what that person has become is very risky, because women don't become. they stay the same and keep on changing men until they find the guy that accepts them in whatever state they are. In any case , even if she made efforts to "become", you'll find that when she'll be too old anyway. She's changed rather because she knows that now she has lower market value, due to fading beauty and age, and not because she actually wanted to change.
This is not very accurate although media seems to encourage promiscuity harsher influences are based on environment. I garentee you that there are many women that grew up seeing other women shamed for promiscuity. I encourage you to open urself to real women besides what you see online. Stop seeing then as something to take but rather as actual people. Sure the physical beauty of a women may fade but its the same for men. There's more to them then their "market value"
I agree that the majority of women don't accept being criticized but there are some, but that requires a lot of dating and looking for women that actually hear you out. However, these kinds of women also would look for a partner on the same page. As a girl myself, what I would suggest you do is observe how they respond to suggestions/feedback. If a woman looks up to you they will likely ask for advice from you etc. This should be done in the very early stages of the talking stage (yes talking stage) or early in a relationship. Men are much more straightforward, and it takes both to understand the differences of how men and women work and compromise on how to give each other feedback. Especially if a boundary is being changed or crossed. Honestly, I found that my female friends who had a brother/male cousin or a close relationship with a father figure (or good male friends) are better at taking criticism that women who do not socialise with many men at all. I personally love sitting down and talking, and hearing my partner out, but this came with some close/good relationships with good men in my childhood who were straightforward with me from the start. But mind you, women without a growth mindset are not women but girls. But you also must have that growth mindset.
Underrated comment
I find it hard to believe anyone is gross enough to ask or answer questions about body count. The person who would ask such a thing has absolutely no respect for boundaries and would be a guaranteed controlling partner.
Are you female? There seems to be quite a different masculine and feminine perspective, and yours sounds familiarly strongly feminine.
Not true
I dont give a sh*t. I dont want woman with high body count. Period. Life is not fair. The first person i am loyal to is me. I will not put myself through that process.
For a long, happy and healthy relationship men should never have anything serious with a girl who slept with other guys.