One Weird Trick for Living on a Nonexistent Street: Prof. Oddfellow's Penetralia
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- čas přidán 30. 04. 2024
- Guest writer Jonathan Caws-Elwitt at Concord Theatricals: www.concordtheatricals.com/a/...
Due to a confluence of parallel universes, our original script transmogrified. Here's how it might have gone:
Jesse, from Nothing, Arizona, writes:
I’ve lived all my life on Barneezles Street. But I was looking at an official map the other day, and I learned that my street, technically, is named West Barneezles Street. And yet there’s no sign of any East Barneezles Street. Is it okay that I’m living on the other half of a nonexistent street?
Jesse, it’s not okay-it’s sensational. In fact, if I were in your place, I’d be tempted to classify the discovery that I’d been living on the other half of a nonexistent street as a Retroactive Lifetime Goal.
And now that you’ve had this revelation, I know you can look forward to countless pleasurable hours spent contemplating the fantastic possibilities of the street known-or, rather, unknown-as East Barneezles. No zoning laws govern thoroughfares that are not there, so East Barneezles Street can be whatever you want it to be.
But being the other shoe that never drops is just one of many ways for a street to be nonexistent. One popular choice for streets seeking the freedom and serenity of nonexistence is to take on the identity of a trap street. A trap street is a fictitious street inserted into a proprietary map or database in order to identify copyright violations. If a competitor’s data includes the same make-believe street, theft is suggested. Naturally, one should never steal someone else’s nonexistent intellectual property.
Other nonexistent streets are pathways to abstract thinking. For example, we all know that “Easy Street” is merely a figurative place.
Or is it? Hmm...could Easy Street be a trap street? No, that would be too facile.
Characters in the world of literature frequently go about their business on streets that don’t really exist, as do television characters. And yet the nonexistent streets inhabited by TV characters can be visited in the real world-because their brand of nothingness involves occupying physical space on studio lots, where their lack of existence takes the form of non-roads to no place, lined with incomplete pseudo-buildings. Nobody really lives in those pretend houses...and yet countless real-life trees, birds, and insects must call these nonexistent streets home.
Another common way to be a nonexistent street is to become a parking lot. Such was the metamorphosis undergone by Eastern States Road in Cambridge, Massachusetts.
As we observe on this diagram, which accompanied a building-modification permit, the former street is now represented by the phrase "FKA Eastern States Road.” Ah, yes: “FKA” translates to formerly known as.
Also not to be found in Cambridge is the nonexistent Warren Place, which is the opposite of a street that no longer exists: It’s a street that doesn’t exist yet. Warren Place, according to the Harvard University planning department, is an “inactive” Harvard site-a proposed addition to the campus, we presume. Doing the fourth-dimensional math, this makes Warren Place a future street, or potential future street, that may or may not ever get built. Warren Place might prove to be an avenue of expansion for Harvard...or it might be the road not taken.
And let’s not forget all those times we’ve been tricked by a phony street: a Something Square, a Such and Such Court, or a This or That Row, which turns out to be merely a brand name for a residential complex, or a fancy appellation for a few blocks that the real-estate industry has decided is a marketable “neighborhood.” No street cred for that!
This is perhaps a good moment to remind ourselves that an address is not necessarily a street. I learned this the hard way, poring over a municipal map to locate the home of a pen-pal who I thought lived on a boulevard quaintly named “Post Office Box.” And the joke was on me, because it turned out my friend actually lived inside a jar of hazelnuts in my own kitchen.
Oddfellow’s recommendation? If you’re considering a career as a nonexistent street, you couldn’t do better than to be a metaphorical street on an imaginary map. Can you see yourself here in a few years?
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I showed this to my dear auntie, who exclaimed, "So clever. It does seem that we've all crossed over to imaginary streets! I love it!"
Thanks for sharing!! Very lovely to hear this!
This took me back in my mind to Joplin, Missouri, to a nonexistent street in a nonexistent town. I made an existential move and things became real again. Thanks for the reminder! Delightful!
Yes, the house in question had a front door and driveway on one street, but even so the address was technically on the adjacent street. A spatial anomaly. And now, the old barn where I live has its driveway on a street named for the boogie man (no kidding), yet its address is technically on the adjacent street ... and get this: the adjacent street has no street sign.
And don't forget the house in Charlotte that had two addresses: 7701 Blue Ridge Circle/435 Old Bell Road,
Wonderful - I love the transitions and especially the mood of the lantern shot. Excellent work, as usual, Team Penetralia!
Team Penetralia is grateful for your comment and support, RH!
If a toad croaks in a Secret Garden on a nonexistent street has the toad made a sound I will think about that while relishing the sound deteriorating makes in this video! Great voice whoever it is!
Mr. Meow on vocals missed an opportunity to have a frog in his throat!
Very creative and animated as usual with perfect old music, images and a profound imagination! I think I know where the inspiration came from. Like the maps!
Thank you very much! So glad you enjoyed this- we had so much fun making it!
Non existing streets are interesting. I looked for once after a particularly street in Copenhagen but couldn’t find it. It was strange,it should be there?! I looked and looked but no street. Later I found out that it had changed name and therefor found it. Great video and funny tiny songs! 👍✨
Yes, streets that hide themselves via aliases! Another great example! Thank you for watching and for sharing your reaction, Ⓖ𝟘🌝𝕯 𝓢𝓘𝕽 𝕊𝒾𝕲𝓕𝔘𝓢‼
As David Byrne once sung, I'm on the road to nowhere. Come on along.
Yes! A fun song -- thanks for making that connection!
i have no idea what i just stumbled upon
We're glad you did, though! 🧐😜
The toads!!!!!🥰
By the way, I've seen the phrase "real toads in imaginary gardens" attributed to Truman Capote, Marianne Moore, and Elizabeth Bishop.
Trap streets! And yes, living on Easy Street is a trap, in many psychological and material ways. Or, so I've heard. I loved this episode, thanks for the tiggles.
Always fun to share the tiggles with you, Rosscoman! Many thanks for the great comment!
Question, if you live on a nonexistent street, does that mean you'll have a nonexistent existence? After all, if your house (home?) has a nonexistent address, you cannot pay taxes or receive mail and other company there. If you cannot pay taxes, then you have no need for an existent job, and so forth.
P.S. Good job as always, however many of you (may or may not) exist to create this marvelously non-existential content.
This may require a sequel. I was just thinking about hermits and anchorites, but they live nonexistent lives in existent places, and that's not what you're talking about.
@@ProfessorOddfellowQuite possibly. Now me, I exist betwixt the existent and non-existent, which is very liminal of me, and quite confusing at times. Regardless, may what remains of your May Day be what it may, and may that be filled with good, happy, loving people.
Thank you! Yes, the Remains of the May Day are dwindling, but may their remainder be auspicious for you. It's been a very sad week here, with the parting of our animal familiar of 20 years. We didn't realize until afterward that that's equivalent to 140 human years. One can't say he left us too early, but that doesn't make it any easier. A deadpan joke (that's not funny) occurred to me, and it'll feature in a future standup shtick: "How do you find out you're not ready for something? The hard way."
@@ProfessorOddfellow Sorry for your loss, and I agree that particular gallows humor is not funny, if only because it's so true.
wtaf is going on
A lost broadcast from the ghost town of Nothing, Arizona ... I mean, what else would we expect? 🤪