Forgive Yourself for Your Mistakes
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- čas přidán 13. 11. 2016
- In this video, author and depression counselor Douglas Bloch talks about the three reasons why we who suffer from depression need to forgive ourselves for our mistakes.
To visit my personal website which contains links to all of my books, websites, and newsletters, go to douglasbloch.com
To visit my depression recovery website, go to healingfromdepression.com
To visit my website on suicide prevention, go to www.overcomingsuicidalpain.com
To contribute to this channel so that its healing information can reach more people, visit / douglasbloch
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Music: Somatou by Kakurenbo courtesy of freemusicarchive.org/music/Kak... through a Creative Commons License.
Thank you Douglas, you're better than any psychiatrist or psychologist . Could you be so kind to do CZcams video on rebuilding confidence?
I could try that. What is the event that created the need to rebuild your confidence? And what is the confidence about? The more details I have, the better able I will be to make the video.
Douglas Bloch
Dear Douglas,
Iam not sure about other people who are in the state of depression or recovering from it. For me I kind of lost my confidence in my ability to go back in the work force
I quit my 25 years job because of my delusional thinking at the time ( suicidal thoughts ) , not sure how I can get my confidence back to deal with office politics and stressful environment , I can't go through an other episode of freaked out at work . But at the same time I have learnt a lot from you and appreciate your courage to speak up for depressed people. My question is how can go back to work knowing it's what caused my depression in the first please .
Thank you Douglas sorry for the late reply.
Sam
What kind of work are you returning to? Can you do a different kind of work for the company, or can you get a different job?
Douglas Bloch
Dear Douglas.
I used to work for an airlines, i haven't been working since 2011 , iam not sure how I answer my employment gap when they ask , should I tell them the truth i was depressed , what is your suggestion for me ? Please help me .
Sam
In the United States we have something called vocational counselors, also called career counselors. If you can find one in Thailand, he or she could help you to find a different kind of work.
We really are hard on ourselves.
Yes we who suffer from depression are hard on ourselves, which is why we need to practice self-compassion and self-kindness.
I know I've been hard on myself since I couldn't put forth any energy to do what I really wanted to do in my life. All I did was make whoever was around temporarily happy( no I'm not talking about sex ). When u was young I wanted to do so many things. But put whoever first before me. And all I did was waste my energy and time cause eventually those people left me. And here I am stuck wondering if I didn't care and got my life together, I at least would be better off than what I am now.
Yes self compassion needed in this time of hour.
9 months depressive episode and 5 years of regrets. The dude is a warrior
Thank you for your kind words
I have been crying for months. There is this feeling of being afraid whenever I feel happy or at the present. I feel like I have made a mortal sin. I am trying to forgive myself and do all sorts of psychological approach to healing. 🙏
To brzmi jak ciężki przypadek skrupułów.
Jeśli jesteś DDA (dorosłe dziecko alkoholika) albo pochodzisz z rodziny dysfunkcyjnej, na przykład któryś rodzic był skrajnie krytyczny wobec ciebie, albo rodzic miał restrykcyjną wiarę, albo był jakiś nałóg w twoim domu - to wtedy bardzo łatwo o nerwicę i skrupuły.
Wtedy nerwica łączy się z wiarą w złą mieszankę i wiara zamiast pomagać - staje się udręką. Ciężką udręką, z tysiącami wymagań.
Jeśli jesteś z takiej rodziny, jak napisałam, to wtedy masz bardzo specyficzne myślenie, nastawienie na wykonywanie poleceń, ignorowanie swoich uczuć i siebie. A twoje problemy będą się przez wiarę jeszcze bardziej pogłębiać, bo zamiast na miłości Bożej, będziesz się skupiać na wymogach, zasadach, obowiązkach, spełnianiu wymagań. Będziesz się w nieskończoność starać zasłużyć na miłość. Wiara będzie przykrym obowiązkiem.
Sama tak mam od lat.
Wtedy warto przeczytać jakąś książką o DDA. Najlepiej napisaną przez chrześcijańskiego autora, bo będzie dokładnie znał specyfikę takiego problemu. Albo jakąkolwiek książkę o DDA. Będziesz zdumiona, jak bardzo opisze ciebie i twoje myśli.
Możesz też się zainteresować terapią 12 kroków dla DDA.
Prophet daud didn't do any kind of sin stop lying@@richardulmer8444
I've been dwelling for nearly 10 months and I just can't stop. It's been a year since I made the mistakes or bad decisions, but I simply can't get over it all
I would suggest finding a counselor or therapist to help you work it through. Remember you were doing the best you could at the time with the knowledge and the awareness you had.
I have been too and it's been two huge mistakes and well over a year since I've been dwelling. Please hang on, it will get better.
Rebecca Edger has
The best thing I can tell you is that we have to leave the past in the past and move forward. I tell myself "well, that's over. What am I gonna do anyway?" What you are going to do now is more relevant than what you did then. I've done some pretty major screwups. But so does everyone else, right?
Wow
Thank you Douglas , because I am really having a hard time forgiving myself over some things I done wrong. Thank you for sharing so much to help others. God Bless
You are welcome. I'm glad the video was helpful.
what have you done?
I left Oregon after the break-up after a relationship, thinking that if I got away it would help me to process the grief. But I only felt worse and eventually had a break-down. I should have stayed put where I was
Thank you Douglas. I beat myself down alot. So much. In fact, I can actually be obsessive. This gives me hope
Like most with depression I suffer from a lot of negative self-talk and feeling worthless because I never ended up with the life and success I thought I would.
The older I get the more mistakes I make, and that's the part I have trouble with.
Thank you for this insight, I needed to hear this. I've committed some horrible, evil, disgusting sins to people that I loved and it ate up my spirit and tainted my soul for a while. I'm starting to realize that if I keep dwelling on those mistakes, it'll haunt me for the rest of my life and I'll never find happiness. I'm currently telling myself everyday that I accept what has already happened and that I forgive myself for all my wrong doings. I'm also grateful for the wisdom I gained from those mistakes and I'm using that as fuel to be the best version of myself possible
Whoever you are... and whereever you are out there... you are not alone... i felt like saying that... im going through something like this in my life right now... it felt as if somwone literally wrote down what was in my mind... i hope and pray for you to accept what has happend and move on to a better life
This is me, too.
This is me too😭
self-forgiveness is crucial to self-compassion and reaching your goals!
I had to learn to forgive myself for some of my choices because of the situation I was in. Sometimes you have to do what's necessary until you can get out of a situation. Only God knows.
Having trouble forgiving yourself please checkout this video "do i need to forgive myself " by elder dingle
Every time I watch you I get filled with hope and all depression leaves. Thank you.
You are welcome
rewatched this today because today I am so hard on myself and feeling defeated. Only my second week on this job and I slept through my alarms and was 30 min late. I feel so bad and I know these things happen and that my body isn't used to the time change, but I feel like every time I overcome a hurdle, I manage to fail at the next thing. I need to give myself more love and understanding but it can be difficult.
I encourage you to have compassion for yourself.
How you holding up now? Hope all is good, stay kind to yourself
"Mistakes" >>
Opportunities for GROWTH, IMPROVEMENT, TRANSFORMATION, INSIGHT, WISDOM, etc !!! 📈📈📈
" Get BETTER !!! " 👍🏾👍🏽👍🏼
Thanks
Emil.ottis l liked your coments .l have made quiet a few mistakes latley.l regretted .but l certainly learnt from it and had wisdom and will not go down that road again enlightened and made me awake .l dont codemed my self anymore just learnt from them .wonderful to belong to dough channel 🤗
I made a decision that I deeply regret and it has been haunting me for many months. I know that I have to forgive myself and move on even though it's a challenge. Thank you for your videos they are very helpful
Remember, you did the best with the awareness you had at that time. To err is human, to forgive is Divine.
Completely understand you! I’m battling with the same...without the certain that I would be able to be happy again one day.
Douglas Bloch thank you. I have forgiven my abusers, but hard to forgive myself with the inner critic. Was raised by narcissistic addicted family, married and attracted abusers as friends. Finally escaped through a refuge but out of the frying pan into the fire 2nd husband was an even worse abuser posing as a respected pillar of community. I'm thankful to have learned from the experience, it made me move to a safer area so turned out for the best, much more I've survived hoping people were gentle and Pure. This world thrives on hatred and vitriol, makes me long for Jesus. Love is patient, love is kind, it does not rejoice in evil but rather rejoices in the Truth. Feel like I can never trust anyone again, even get exploited and betrayed by church people. Alone now, completely alone - raising children, but safe. Jesus is my Rock.
@@FaithfulandTrue949 wel said mate
@@ryanbyrne259 God bless you Ryan.
Such a difficult part of our depression, to forgive ourselves. Yet it is easy to be critical of ourselves. Thank you for your insightful words.
To help with my ruminating, I keep on telling myself that they are only thoughts and to just forgive myself for what caused me to have those thoughts.
I needed this video, thank you!
You’re very welcome
How do I allow myself to relax and enjoy myself at times when I'm carrying terrible guilt and shame about past actions? I can feel distant from people, even around my friends. It's like the memories are stopping from being fully in the moment.
My suggestion is that you work with a counselor who can help you release this guilt and shame. There are also forgiveness meditations on the Internet.
I’m so grateful for all your mistakes Douglas because I don’t think you would be making these CZcams videos today and helping so many other people ! God bless you
Thank you for your kind words
Hi doulglas yes when you suffer from depression we do chatis ourselves and creat more anxiety. and our mistakes can take us on a different path in healing if it wasnt for that mistake it help me heal after years of anxiety. Its so lovely to have my coments with others to learn and comfort one another .thankyou for your compassion on your wonderful channel
You're more than welcome. I'm glad videos are helpful.
"You fool" my default continous inner talking 😩
You don't have what it takes anymore is what goes on in my head.
I'm just having a hard time forgiving myself after doing something very stupid. I messed up and affected someone dearly to me, but they forgive me and we're aware that it was just a mere mistake. Although they forgive me I feel a lot of guilt after what I did, and I feel like I won't be able to live with the guilt even though it was just a stupid thing I did because of my forgetfulness.
It is easy to be hard on ourselves. Perhaps you might want to talk to a counselor or therapist who can help you process and release your guilt. I remember what one psychology teacher told me in college. "remember that people are doing the best they can with the awareness they have at the time."
Thank you. I am constantly putting myself down, comparing myself to others and ruminating.
You can unlearn that habit
Thank you Douglas, I needed to hear this today! I've been struggling to forgive myself for past mistakes. I appreciaye what you do 💜
You’re welcome.
Thank you for posting this video, after making a rather large mistake I needed some reassuring words and had no one that I could depend for them.
Your such a wonderful caring empathetic knowledgable person your care for others really comes across in every video u make god bless u
Thank you.
Love your message. I struggle with regrets, and how I see the past. This helped a lot.
Thank you.
The discipline I have had to learn over the years is to be very conscientious about what stories I am telling myself about my mistakes. I’m reeling from a few bad mistakes I made with a woman I briefly dated.
But yes, I’m only human. I’ve already gained wisdom that I have been able to help others with. And this experience has made me reflect and refocus on improving myself in a way that I don’t know if I would be doing otherwise.
Thank You Douglas!
You're welcome.
I just laughed at the music part, it lifted my mood. Thank you, I benefit a lot from your videos!
I am glad that they are helpful.
Hi from East TX Doug - this reminds me of the time I was trying to make a motor on something run, "what's wrong with me! Why can't I get this?..." My friend walks in - and innocently said, "maybe it's broken" I never thought the mistake could be anything but my own deficiency. That new perspective changed the way I judge mistakes. 🙋♀️
1. We are human
2. We can learn from our mistakes
3. Our mistakes can be blessings in disguise
Thank you for for the content 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻
You are welcome.
Every time I see one of your videos I asked myself wow why could I have not learned about you many years ago I thank you so much for your time your journey to do what you're doing much appreciated peace brother
Thank you for being brave and continuing to fight to give us such simple yet powerful messages . I get hard on myself all the time and there have been mistakes that I thought no one would ever forgive me. Unfortunately, I haven't found the way to get out of it yet.
I am going to make a video on being kind to yourself, which I think you will like. If you begin to forgive yourself, other people will also forgive you. You can find your way out of your pain. As I said in my replies to your other two comments, getting better starts with reaching out for support. That is your next step.
You are saving so many lives Mr. Bloch. God bless you sir.
Thank you for your kind words
Thank you Douglas ..you have no idea how many people your helping....God Bless
What a brave guy, thanks for sharing your experiences
Your experience is a beacon of light. Thank you for doing these videos. You are frankly the best resource for depression and anxiety recovery on CZcams!
Thank you for your kind words. To help fund these videos, I started a a crowdfunding site
www.patreon.com/douglasbloch
Pass this on to anyone who might want to help out. Thanks.
Wow!! 😳wow. Thank you!!!! This message was right on time and amazing. Before I seen this video as I was scrolling through my CZcams to see what to watch I was feeling low ad thinking how I'm such a bad person who makes so many mistakes. I really felt low about myself. I seen this video tapped on it and was exactly what I needed. I'm going to listen to this again and keep it in my saved videos.
Thanks! So glad I found this channel a week ago.
I'm glad that you have seen the positive value of self-forgiveness.
I am not okay... 8 months of regretting a mistake I made... everything fell apart. I don't know how to fix it and whats worse is... I made a mistake so late in life and when I look around, no one is coming to save me. I had everything...
I'm sorry for your regret. However, I still believe that it is possible to heal. It would be good to have a counselor to talk this over with.
Wow man thanks, Im glad you pulled through and made it all happen
Thank you Douglas for this video. This is something I have definitely struggled with for most of my life. I have finally learned to not be so hard on myself. I will come back to this video if I ever feel like I am being too self critical.
Great. I'm glad that the information helped.
Thank you Douglas - I needed to hear this today, thank you 💖
I think I needed this. I have a bad habit of punishing myself for social shortcomings
Thank you for being so humble & sharing such effective & common sense solutions to the human conditions we find ourselves in.
You are welcome
Im not a big tec fan, but the fact it brings people like yourself into my life makes me so grateful,
Thank You sir.
Right
You and your videos are so kind, loving and inspirational. I honestly bow down to you Doug. I think you have been through so much and yet you are so helpful, together & compassionate. I had to live with my parents when I was 40 years old due to a depressive episode. But it only lasted a couple months it was not the right environment for me. They were not really there for me they sent me to a pastor to talk to. I don’t think I needed hospitalization, but they didn’t get it. My mom completely ignored me. I still hate her to this day
+ i'm sorry you are still angry at your mother. It took awhile for me to get over my anger towards my mother, but fortunately I eventually did. Forgiveness is hard to do. Mildred Peroni
Guilt, depression,
self hate, self punishment.
All bad painfully debilitating stuff.
Thanks for the video.
Thanks for your humanity . You display it in a very humble way. You give courage to the rest of us .
You're welcome.
thank you for your insight and fresh perspective!!
Thank you, Douglas.
something i do excessively:
hating myself over the bad 10 %, when i did 90 % of it OK, or even partially had outstanding results.
example: i took a bad stumble in life in the recent years. i really got lost from my set path and it sent me in the darkest life crisis so far. but: i got back up. i finished what i set out to. be it not as successful as i thought it'd be. be it to no avail. whatever. but i got up again and grit my teeth and finished it.
still, marvellously, my brain does not say: "hey - you overcame something nasty. you finished against bad odds. you did not give up. you are immensely strong and brave."
nope. all i get is: "you fell. man, how could you fall. look what was the final result. you lost your sh*t so hard over all of this, and now you'll never get it right. man, you REALLY lost it there. you can NEVER undo that." it's like those guys who go to a metallica concert just to wait for "nothing else matters" while hating the rest of a concert they paid 120 dollars for.
I am rock bottom. In London. But this is helping.
I'm glad that it is helping. Well, if you are at rock bottom, there is nowhere to go but up.
@@DouglasBloch Douglas. I know you are authetic and sincere. I have bought your book. Trying to claw my way out by mu finger nails.
Thank you sir, I struggle with this daily over the smallest things.
So Good Douglas...I sure struggle with this & the piece about entering into a more positive environment actually highlighting or provoking the negative within us is new to me, very helpful to know...😊
I have learned that the best way to deal with my mistakes, provided they are not severe and didn’t cause harm to others or myself, is to simply have a little chuckle.
Thank you for this wonderful channel Douglas. Your delivery and knowledge give me hope for a brighter future.
I find it difficult to forgive myself for my mistakes when I am constantly reminded of them. The guilt and shame cycle is a horrible place to be in. I feel as though the effort I put into becoming a better person and understanding my mental illness and myself is pointless because people cannot get past my previous actions. For several years I have been working on myself while everyone else stays the same. I have recently started cutting family and friends, whom I once thought were important to me, out of my life because I consider them toxic. I feel lighter so I know it's the right decision.
Perhaps you can find new people to be friends with who are on your same level
Thank you sir douglas I’ll try to watch this so it will really sink in in my brain. Still have regrets :(
I used to be terrible with this! I mean probably had some of the worst self talk imaginable, but I visualize myself becoming stronger everyday, and only break myself down in constructive ways now. Self hate only stands in the way of true change.
Well said
Fascinating life story excerpt, thank you Douglas 💫
Thank you. This channel is extremely helpful in my self development journey.
You're welcome.
Thank you Douglas! Again, great wisdom from your experiences!
You're welcome
don't be too hard on yourself. you are human. you learn and grow. new opportunities
Thank you for this video. You have no idea how much it helped to calm me down. I wish you the best. Hugs!
You are welcome. Self-Forgiveness is an ongoing process. I do it several times a week.
I just purchased your book "Words That Heal". I've read a few. It is truly wonderful! Thank you.
Thanks. That book is the first of a trilogy. The other two books are “listening to your inner voice” and “I am with you always.”
Thank you for your honest and kind sharing!
You are welcome
Me too!! My mistake cannot be forgivin or resolved. I lost my career job, had to retire...!!! And now I hate life and myself. I suffer from anxiety &horrible depression. Its sometimes NOT OKAY TO MAKE MISTAKES..!!
Thank you Douglas. I get great comfort from this video.
You're welcome.
I feel like I'm never going to forgive myself because what I did is really bad and now I have to suffer from it 😫
It's human to make mistakes. Just because you made a bad decision doesn't mean you're a bad person. Perhaps you should talk to a counselor about letting go of your self criticism and replacing it with self compassion
@@DouglasBloch hi thank you so much . I have a appointment actually on Wednesday to see a therapist ❤️
Hi... im unable to forgive,.. the consequences were too devastating and ruined...
Did the therapy help?
I went also,... and ive called 988, and other crisis lines. Talked to many counselors... didn't help. The consequences were just too damaging to me in every way. Also mentally and physically.
How are you?
Thanks,Douglas!
What a powerful video! God is so good. He turns what the enemy meant for evil and turns it for good. Thank you for sharing your personal stories. Truly helps me to stop contemplating why I’ve made certain mistakes. God bless you always Doug! You’re truly a gift from God.
You're welcome.
Thank you! I'm so glad your channel popped up.
Whate a brave and sweet man to share your story. Thank you. I need help for my depression so badly. I am motivated by your courage. To not give up.
Yes, I would definitely encourage you not to give up. You never know what the next day may bring. I believe I have a video called, One reason why you should never give up. And here is another video called Your Pain is Not Forever. I hope it is helpful.
czcams.com/video/DNIM_W0c83c/video.html
Thank you.
You are amazing Douglas.. Just recently started watching your channel.. have had depression and anxiety since I was a child
I’m glad the videos are helping
@@DouglasBloch could you do a video on social anxiety.
Thanks! Good response. I just discovered your channel tonight and you have given me hope. I have had clinical depression for as long as I remember as well as anxiety and low self esteem. I'll be 70 in November and I'm just worn out. Thank you.
That’s funny. I’ll be 70 in February, and I feel worn out. Maybe we should discover the fountain of youth.
Douglas Bloch Ha ha ha. Sounds good to me!
OK. I’ll meet you somewhere in Florida
I turn 50 this year and I´ve done mistakes, living like it was just a dream, never settling down, doing wrong decisions all my life. I turn 50. It is too late for me. At least many many things are way too late. I regret every day.
It’s not too late. My life didn’t really start to work well until I was over 50. Are you seeing a therapist or a counselor? It is never too late to learn new ways of thinking and new habits.
Thank you, that was helpful as always.
I'm glad you have been finding these videos to be of benefit.
I made a huge mistake by talking behind a friend’s back even tho I didn’t truly mean it and only wanted to mix energy with the other person. I confessed to them about it but even tho they forgave me, I still feel guilty and ashamed about it. They are one of my dearest friend and can’t even think about a future without them (yes, I have feelings for them).
Edit : They are now my partner :))
It seems since your friend has forgiven you then your friendship seems stable. You can forgive yourself if you realize that you were doing the best you could with the awareness you had at the time. Human beings are imperfect by nature
Feeling guilty means you are a good friend.
🙏
@@OnAllahwedependalways thanks man :)
You are the best Douglas! Bless you!
Thank you. I like your first name.
Thanks I'll try to find it in me to not keep kicking myself for my mistakes I did something that I was advised not to do by someone who knows me better than anyone and I did it anyway because I thought it would help fix my life
This video lifted my mood. Thanks for your helpful video!
You're welcome. I'm glad to hear from you.
Thanks for sharing, this really helps my struggle about self forgiving
You are welcome
Feeling a sense of "progress" is an ingredient for happiness. Forgiving yourself and others is the fastest form of progress available to us.
Your Finhorn example is a great illustration of how we can't evaluate the merits or demerits of anything we're going through at the moment. Learning to live by faith rather than by our frequently misleading feelings is a sign of growth and maturity.
Great feedback.
thank you for sharing this! Very helpful!
Hi Kate, it's good to hear from you
Thank you!
You are welcome
Problem is with me,I keep making mistakes. I don't learn. Doesn't help my depression or anxiety one bit.
Well with time, perhaps things will improve
@@DouglasBloch I hope so. Feel so guilty afterwards. It's as if I'm lashing out because of my past. Don't think I'll ever understand it
Thank you Douglas, this was much needed
You're more than welcome.
Doug....you are the best!🎊
Thanks. Nice to hear from you
Thank you for the wonderful message🙏
You’re more than welcome. I’m glad you liked it.
I listen to you every night these days before I fall asleep.. you calm me ❤️
Wow, thank you
I love u man! Thank u a lot for making all this effort to help us
You’re more than welcome. It’s my pleasure. By reaching out to help you I am helping myself
@@DouglasBloch i wish u happiness and peace of mind and i wish i could express my self more but english is not my first language but i understand all what u say in the videos .. thank u for ur time and love and thank u for ur comment u're such a kind man ❤
Thank you very much. Very sincere advices..
I'm glad it was helpful
Thanks Douglas
Thank you Doug
You’re welcome
Thanks Doug
I can't forgive myself. Mistakes from years ago have lead me to where I am now, without a partner and young family that I always knew I wanted but didn't feel ready for at the time.
A more recent relationship started with so much promise before I was suddenly abandoned, and it's set me back so much when I thought life was going to work out after all.
I'm at a loss. I was struggling with unfulfillment years ago, when actually, I had it good. There have been some really good experiences since which helped that lack of fulfilment, but ultimately it's come at a huge cost for me and so I live in regret.
I feel so guilty and embarrassed over myself for having betraying my fiancee especially that he was good to me. I apologized a lot I did my best to get him back and fix everything. I really needed I chance to prove that I'm good from the inside, but he rejected me at last. I need to go over all these things!
try your best to have compassion for yourself. To err is human, to forgive divine.
Thank you, it was very helpful.
+anita mckenzie You're very welcome.
Yes, self-forgiveness is very important.
Thanks Douglass! It really helps.
You're welcome.