Why YOU Need To Discuss Marriage By The SECOND Date
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- čas přidán 7. 07. 2024
- #DatingAdvice #ClassicallyAbby #ClassicCrew #LetsBeClassic
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I'm excited to share some more classic dating advice! You know what you shouldn't do? Wait to ask the BIG questions when you're dating. Today, I'm going to share why. Let me know your thoughts in the comments below!
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When my boyfriend and I were dating, we made sure that we spoke about marriage since the Supreme Court had just legalized gay marriage. I thank God for the freedom to marry every day! Thank you!
I don't think Abby was talking about gay marriage though. She prefers that gay people are barred from getting married.
ew
@@whitewilliam9786 why does it even matter to her though… it has absolutely nothing to do with her
@@wompwomppppforgetme it's part of her broken, authoritarian religion to supress the vulnerable in society.
Oh my goodness, I agree 100%. Like why do I wanna waste my time? I've never understood the whole "dating for fun". If I'm investing time I wanna make sure the guy is legit. And I think it's best to find out _before_ you fall head over heels as otherwise its too hard to break up if you're not compatible
Edit: But I think this is more applicable to people of faith because most of the time were actually dating to marry cos we don't live together or have sex until we are married
I made it clear from the get-go that I was dating for marriage, not to mess around. Also made it clear that I wasn't having sex outside marriage either. It made it very easy to weed out people with incompatible values and now I'm about to get married to a stellar man.
Congrats!!
That's awesome and it's great you made your intentions very clear 👍
Congrats! Wish you both a long and happy marriage.
Don't you belong to strong and independent category.
Yup it's better to waste time vetting people in the short term than have to do divorce in the long term.
"Dating is for a purpose" it sounds so obvious and straightforward but it is a profound statement. Something I won't forget.
I’ve been married for 5 years but have watched so many friends waste years of their dating lives with “men” that weren’t willing to commit. Exchange values and expectations as soon as possible!
Yes! IMPORTANT! Great response, I agree 100%!
Laws are against men and there kids if it dont work out, like a step dad no laws The Divorce will destroy you And you cannot see your step kids if you fall in love with them no law to protect your heart So men have to be careful It don't only take Treasury It Takes a destruction of heart
@@newsomsr2000 Thats not true, its just that most men dont want kids after the break up so they dont even try to get them. Unless its been proven that the environment you provide is in any way more harmful than the environment the mother provides, and you want the kid, you most likely will get the kid
@@olgastamenkovic8637 cool its It is scary, I don't know why men dont want their children im a man and I love my children i dont see how its possible what ever happened its not the kids fault. But ive always love kids there true at heart. Ive always love kids but people May see you as something evil or possible evil so you have to be careful.
Exactly. Men are the first ones to waste your time if you let them.
that puts too much pressure on things… i would be scared and run away
Honestly i would be freaked out if someone asked me about marriage when we just met
If you want to date for "fun", it's not like dating stops once you're married. Now you have a fun date to go out with forever!
Yes, I'm having way more fun with my husband than I ever did with before marrying him.
She literally defines "dating" as a purpose of finding marriage (hence the video title). Your comment about "dating" now that you're married makes no sense in the context of this entire video.
My husband and I talked about marriage, children, and values for our lives on the first date. I always knew I wanted marriage and stability, and it was very important to me that I knew up front if the guy I was dating felt the same way. It may feel awkward or uncomfortable to ask those big questions so early on, but it'll save you years of heartbreak and unanswered questions. You won't ever have to wonder if marriage is on the table, or if he doesn't want kids, or if he's serious about you.
i don’t agree with you on MOST things, but i do agree that it’s really important to be upfront about your expectations with dating, and to not let bad experiences ruin your outlook on future ones.
anyone that talks about marriage on the 2nd date is such a red flag istg. like damn at least wait until you’ve known the other person for a few weeks or months
in that regards, i agree with this video. anyone obsessed with marriage enough to talk about it on the second date is a no no and a good signal to yeet myself away from them
Imagine not really knowing someone too well and you’re already bringing up marriage. Cringe.
My husband was afraid to get married because he didn’t think he could have a marriage as perfect as his parents’. 😂 That’s so backwards. We’ve been married 25 years.
25 years ago, now it's hard to find a girl to get married, feminism has ruined the difference between a women and female, today their is no difference between a whore and a women, according to young girls mentality.
I was terrified of getting married as my father was a dreadful husband to my mother, but praise God, He had an amazing husband for me and we are so happily married xx
@@satyendrsingh6071 people might get offended by your comment but I think I know what you mean, perhaps phrased nicer but still, I get the point x
My boyfriend and I established this intent before even officially dating.
I’ve definitely made the mistake of wasting my time in the past
I don't understand why people wait until they're so emotionally invested in a relationship to have these conversations.
If you want to get married, have kids and live a religious life, and that's important to you, then you need to find that out asap BEFORE you get emotionally invested. If you don't want any of that and that's important to you then you need to let that be known asap.
Otherwise, the two of you are stringing each other along with no goal in mind or, worst, each of you has a different goal in mind. This only leads to heartache and wasted time and it was all avoidable if you would have just had these important conversations early on.
It’s hard out there. It took me a while. I’m 33 and just got married. I didn’t waste time with losers, thank God. But it took me this long to get married. Still happy tho. But it’s also a reminder to women that not all of us will find that someone when we are in high school or college. Not everyone gets married at 22, and that’s okay! Work to find the right person, don’t just dive in just because you think that’s when you need to.
@@ntmn8444 I just noticed that men are frequently called losers, but women are almost never called losers.
Sort of. People can lie and change. Happened to me with my ex. He told me what I wanted to hear for 2.5 years
This comment section is incredibly disturbing lol. People can date for fun and there is absolutely nothing wrong with it. This is toxic.
Thank you for saying this.
Finally somebody here has some sense
This should just be plain logic
100% agree. Don’t wait until you’re emotionally invested to find out that you’re with the wrong person.
That's so true, once you're emotionally invested you'll find every reason imaginable to not make hard choices
I dont know...sometimes people don't want to get married and then they meet someone who makes them feel differently. 🤷♀️
You never have a "guarantee that they'll stick around", until marriage. Even then people change their minds. You date to determine if that person is a good fit for marriage. There is no way to determine that by asking these questions early on. Unless they are blatantly honest and tell you no, not interested. But not many will know or admit that from the beginning.
The thing is, people today are looking to marry (if they ever do) for all the wrong reasons. It makes me cringe when I as a woman hear other women say, “I want to feel that chemistry!” That is bologna. That’s the worst possible reason to marry someone. People who tell me this, I know they’re not marriage material. These are people who have married 3 times and gotten divorced every time, because they haven’t figured out their priorities. There are ways to know. People are more likely to tell you, just pay attention to what they’re saying!
@@ntmn8444 it seems many women think marriage is a solution to all their wants and troubles. If you don't have your own life together, you have no business getting married.
@@michaelweyenberg6238 Yes I agree with this. Women also often expect their husbands to fulfill all their emotional needs. That's not only impossible but a very unrealistic and unfair expectation. Get some girlfriends, maintain your relationships with your mother and sisters. Also marriage is actually not about happiness. If you rely on your partner for your happiness you are going to be bitterly disappointed when they can't deliver. But you have no room to judge, cause if you look in the mirror and be honest with yourself you also fail and let others down too.
Yeah, I agree I mean I want to get married but this girl is implying that not just the partner but you need to know if you want to marry that person before the second date even occurs. Why would I ask someone that I barely am starting to get to know if they're interested in marriage? The whole argument of chemistry and compatability doesn't make sense to me. How can you determine that after one date? I'm sure there was already a filter you had (religion, political views, etc) that made you get into a relationship and eventually marriage but thats not the real world. You're trying to apply things in your reality that just make no sense no one out here is asking about marriage on date #2! You're...not crazy, but delusional, Abby.
What about those who want to date but don't wanna do marriage and be a singke individual?
For me it’s more important to share on the first date the fact that I am bisexual rather than my stance on marriage. For me, I’d be wasting my time with someone who doesn’t believe in and/or has a problem with a huge part of my identity rather than someone who disagrees with my opinion on something.
Yeah, I agree, this actually applies to any non-negotiable topic.
I agree that marriage should be brought up relatively soon. The second date is a bit too soon though. I think it could potentially scare somebody off. Marriage is a big commitment and something to be taken seriously. I think maybe like 2 months into dating would be a good time to start bringing that up because at that point they’ve had more time to get to know you. It’s kinda weird to ask someone you JUST met “hey so are you looking for marriage?” A lot of times a man isn’t sure whether he wants to get married until he meets the right woman. I wouldn’t consider 2 months a big waste of time or a deep emotional attachment.
Yeah but is pretty simple to do. Say something like, "what are your goals for the future?" (school, work, family). Find out what somebody's priorities and values are. If they align with your values, that's a good start to a relationship. If they don't share your values, it's hard to progress, so why date them?
2 months is fine too but IMO the 2nd date is not too early, actually neither is the first date, or even before going on any dates. I don't believe "too early" applies at all here, but "too late" definitely does. Especially for women who are nearing the end of their fertile years.
As for these indecisive men - ladies these men are cowards who are not fit to be husbands. If they run cause they're scared they're doing you a favour so good riddance - next. And the earlier this happens the less time you waste, the less emotional investment you lose, the less heartbreak you suffer.
Men prove who they are by what they do. You're under no obligation to appeal to every man who takes you on a date. And hiding intentions a downright deceitful.
Meh, it usually scares the bad apples. Before I met my husband, I would tell men before I even started dating them. I made my intentions very clear. I don’t care about who left. I care about who stayed!
I usually wait till the fourth date, but I agree it should be early.
Wanting a romantic relationship without wanting marriage is perfectly alright. Learn more about the person and if you both want marriage then that's fine, but if you don't you can go on how you are. Make choices that are right for you, not the ones that people on youtube tell you to make
I know right! These people act like this is the only option and that dating doe other purposes is "A waste of time" and have even worse thoughts about sexual partners!
I quickly asked my now husband if we were going to be exclusive and intentional about our dating. His response was the typical “why do we have to put labels on it?”
I said, “Same reason we label anything. To know what it is.”
He said, “Touché. Yes, we can do that.”
A good man will be receptive to these questions. If he isn’t, it’s a good thing if you are running him off. Good video Abby! ❤️ Young women, please listen to this wisdom, you won’t regret it. Don’t hang on to your “sink costs.”
Sunk costs*
Yes, yes, yes! Love hearing that others have this same mindset.
I agree communication is vitally important in a relationship.
This is perfect advice!
Thank you! You give such great advice. :)
My wife and I met in October of 2018 and Married by February 2019. It can be done and let me tell you, dating really sucks. Marriage is where it’s at!
Are you happy or not, because today girls belongs to happy and strong category.
@@satyendrsingh6071 I married my husband after a very short courtship and have never been happier. My marriage is more fun than dating ever was, I barely remember anything about my ex boyfriends.
@@satyendrsingh6071 girls can be both strong and happy. Most aren't because of their upbringing and self esteem issues.
This video reminds me of the classic quote, “you can’t say the wrong thing to the RIGHT person” 💗
I LOVE your advice!!!!!!!❤❤❤❤ Thank you Abby!!! Seriously keep this coming! You are amazing & so beautiful!
@Gaultier Ars You're jealous, she's so gorgeous. ❤
I know I’m late to the game, but my boyfriend is from Arkansas and I’m from New York, so we haven’t been able to have an in-person date yet. That being said, we’ve already discussed marriage and our expectations. He’s an amazing man and I truly hope to spend my life with him. I absolutely adore him.
Ah yes. I love living in the 1700's.
I hate the idea of “dating” in general. I agree with what you’re saying, but I would call it courtship. This is what my husband and I did, and it made everything so clear from the beginning.
You means, arrange marriages.
@@satyendrsingh6071 Nothing wrong with those TBH. Your parents get to do the dirt digging to eliminate the psychos. They round up the potentials which they carefully selected for compatibility and you choose one of them based on chemistry. It's zero effort on your part, and no time wasted. And this approach has the lowest divorce rate. I say if it works do it.
@@satyendrsingh6071 nothing wrong with arranged marriages. Actually, it’s a legit custom from other countries. I wish it weren’t so stigmatized here in the US.
@@alexiakolarski Not always. My parents had an arranged marriage & they're constantly arguing. Honestly I sometimes wonder would they be better off if they had married someone else... (my mom sometimes blames my grandpa for choosing my dad whenever they have a fight).
Lower divorce rates don't necessarily mean happy & successful marriages as divorce is stigmatised in those cultures & many ppl just stay in toxic marriages rather than divorcing.
@@caps900 Divorce should be stigmatized by everyone because it is failure. Shame is the appropriate response to failure, not celebration.
Marriage is hard no matter how it started. I've heard of couples arguing for many years before finally making peace with each other in old age and they had no issues since then.
As for toxic marriages (really bad stuff like abuse, adultery) I recommend the offended spouse immediately separating legally (not divorcing) to protect themselves and their children. Oh and publically expose the offender so the community can shame him/her. If the offender mends his/her ways then reconciliation can follow, or divorce if they don't.
Divorce can be very costly and complicated and is a very serious matter, especially if the couple have children. So it should be avoided not encouraged, it should be the last resort for only the most broken and disfunctional marriages.
We might not have the same political views but I love hearing you talk about other topics. It makes me really think and we agree on a lot of other things! ☺️
This comment section is the wonderland for the karens
LMAO 😂😂😂
Okay Sharon.
Idk I feel like it depends on what point in your dating life you’re at. I wouldn’t want that conversation to happen with a 15 year old. I think dating young is just a the beginning of getting to know how to be in a relationship slowly. I do think it’s important maybe in mid or late 20’s
15 year olds should not be dating at all. The youngest age parents can accept their child marrying is the age they should allow them to start dating. For my kids it's 18.
There are 3 types of daters: the ones who want to marry, the ones who don't, and the ones who don't know. The point is everyone should state and be told which type they are from the beginning. So that all the daters in the same groups can find each other and stop wasting their time, energy and emotions with people from the other groups.
@@alexiakolarski no, I don’t think so. I think it’s important to learn how to date in a very simple and innocent way before jumping into serious dating. There’s steps to everything in life and having someone jump into serious dating from absolutely nothing has shown to not be good for those relationships. They don’t have to kiss and be super involved with each other at 15 but simply learning how to act in front of a date, seeing what things make them comfortable, communication during dates and even just understanding that the first person you date doesn’t have to be your soulmate. Seeing how personalities react in a romantic setting without it being a serious is a good thing. Group dating might be a great start for teens! In my opinion ☺️
@@melissagarcia8169 it’s not innocent teenagers are hormonal
Wise words!
your hair looks so good when it's darker imo, i know you like it lighter but i think it accentuates your face more and makes your skin look fairer, so pretty!
Well said!!
By the second date?? I would run from away from someone if they brought up marriage on the second date. You don’t even know someone at all by 2 dates 😂 I thought I got married too early😂 I got married after one year of dating lmao
Awesome advice
Abby, I was wondering. What do you think of “marriage dating”? I found websites like Set for Marriage dating or Marriage minded singles. Do you think that would be a better alternative since both of you are going in with the same gaols and intentions? Would love to hear from you!
I agree you should date with a purpose. If you think marriage is that purpose, great. But also using relationships to learn more about yourself if a good purpose. Use relationships as a god given mirror to understand yourself in a more pure way
damn the lighting in this video this is really good
I find myself to be sucked into this hookup culture and now I'm stuck in the middle between being a housewife and just being the fun girl
My husband and I discussed marriage on our first date, got engaged 8 months later, got married 2 months after that, now we’re family planning. This October is our 1 year anniversary. God, protect our beautiful marriage.🥰💕
I agree 100%!
YES!
2 of my sisters, and many of my friends have dated for, "fun!" And their relationships end in divorce, hurting the kids the most, and/or pregnancy before marriage. Fools. Dating is not a party. It's a serious relationship which will be a part of the rest of your life.
Offff, do you really don't belong to strong and independent category.
Exactly.
@@satyendrsingh6071 ugh stop with the category bull. Strong and independent doesn't mean she will not have marriage in the back of her mind. In fact most independent and strong career women date strategically because they have less time to mess around than their peers.
How to marry someone who will not walk away ?
Or how does one know / test another's " Staying power " or commitment when things go wrong or life / Marriage goes through growing / testing phases ?
If you don't trust your partner to stick around when things are rough and feel the need to test them... you might want to rethink this relationship...
Thank you, Abby! Young women and dating women need to hear your thoughtful advice! Such a great message!
They should learn their feminist sisters.
they should hear this thoughtful advice and stay far far away from it
I think this is a good idea even if you want to do the opposite and just date for fun. It's good to make sure you don't give the other person a false sense of hope of marriage when you only want to have something less serious. There is nothing wrong with either choice or lifestyle. But it's smart to be straighrforward and make sure values align to minamize the damage as soon as possible.
Why would u ever Discuss Marriage by the 2nd date? that sound's like an awful Idea u barley know the person. It takes awhile to be sure that u actually like someone, by the 2nd date most people can't even explain their feeling properly cause its to early to trust someone that much
Dating without the intention to potentially marry that person is pointless
Dating with the intention to marry the person you're meeting for the second time is foolish.
Why? Why is it pointless if both are dating because of emotional and physical support and not marriage bc they don't want to?
Monogamy isn’t realistic…polyamory for the win
Sadly this is something that my boy friend and I never talked about because he said he wasn’t interested, I’ve had 6 or 7 boy friends and none of them have wanted to wed me, thank god I’m still pure because I’m wwaiting for the right one but sadly he may never come to me.
Don't wait for him to come to you, go out and get him. Put yourself out there and make your intentions public. The guys who want the same things can't find you if they don't know you're available.
Girl, bring it up. Men are absolute winners at wasting women’s time. If he won’t talk about marriage, then it’ll be up to you whether you’ll want to keep giving him your best years or not. Don’t be aggressive about it either. Just be like, “hey, so I want to get married someday, I want to have kids. What about you? How do you feel about marriage?” That’s it. Let him talk.
So true it awsome point but i do not think this olny apply to dating people are always afraid to face the truth , thank you so much for your videos your awsome god bless you🇺🇲🇮🇱
What is the name of the song at the beginning? Been trying to find it for AGES 😭
"Simple Gifts" from the 1800s OR depending on your religion you could be familiar with it as a hymn "lord of the dance"
@@jaord530 oh, thank you!! 🥰
Nice outfit!
Amen.
Abby, Are we talking " Dating " as it is on Shtisel or are we talking " Dating " as it is defined by the world ?
Hahaha 😂😂😂😂, today dating is just shit.
So Sex on the first date, ask about marriage on the second ?
Abby seems to miss the entire concept of dating, where you spend time with someone to discover if they are the right one for you and not an abusive prick. Though, this should not suprise me since Abby's marriage was most likely arranged.
When Ben said everyone in his family talks fast I thought he was kidding, but damn! 😂
Do you have a video about being a guy who is afraid of commitment and what you can do about that? I want to be serious with my gf, but something in me is holding back.
Don’t waste her time anymore. She’s not the one. Something is holding you back, because she’s not it. You can like someone all you want and realize that’s not who you want to be with. That’s okay.
These questions I have already asked to someone who I really like and want to date. Thanks for sharing Abby!!!
nice!
I always try to figure put the big things first. Great, we both like the same movies, but what is his dream, where is he going, what is he chasing? If He’s not after Jesus, marriage, family, I’m out. I’m not going to waste his time and lead him on into a wild goose chase. Finding out the big things first is respecting yourself and others.
I'm a 20 year old guy, and this issue has been in my head for a while now. I am not interested in going on dates until after I finish college, but it still doesn't stop me from having an irrational (or rational?) fear of not being able to be in a long term marriage relationship on my first date. I personally don't want to date a bunch of girls until I find the "right one," because I hate drama, but I know that in this day and age, it seems impossible to avoid such a thing.
I have a lot of siblings; almost half of my of-age siblings are married, but the other half have been dating around for nearly a decade at this point, and that disturbs me. They are all Christians to their core, and I can't imagine why their dating relationships go kaput, since they have been dating other Christians in the same church. It makes me question whether or not all these single people in my church have Christian values that align with the values my church teaches.
I've been preparing myself to be the one in the relationship to talk about our future from the get-go, but I hope that my future date watches this video, or shares the views that this video espouses, because I want them to ask me about marriage and children before I do.
Coming from someone who is too young to marry, I understand if you want to disregard this reply, but this is my little bit of advice:
Dating lots of girls doesn't have to be the 'drama' that you're afraid of. It's only going to be drama if you stay in it for a long-enough period of time, when the emotions kick in.
The aim of the game, i guess, is (as Abby says) to not get emotionally involved until you have worked out your values and aspirations for the future. That way there really isn't much drama. You knew them for a week or so, they didn't want to have a family. You don't see each other again. Done.
You talk about your fears over whether or not the young singles in your church are really as deeply Christian as it would seem. If you think not, then my advice would be to expand your boundaries just a little bit. Instead of only dating people from your church, maybe think about like-minded girls in uni with you, that attend the same groups/societies/clubs or are taking the same course. Even though it seems counter-intuitive to go somewhere you wouldn't think any proper values would lie, you might actually be surprised.
There are lots of people out there and they are all very different.
Hope this helped.
Abby girl, why’d you block me from commenting on my own post 😂😂😂 I thought you didn’t care about the comments!
someone needs to answer how you can possible confuse passion with anxiety? ...those are very different feelings. Just saying
I married at 21 and have been married for 24 years! I married my best friend, and we knew from high school on that our goals were marriage and family. NO interest in men who weren't dating with intention. Feminism and "free sex" have done women so much harm.
24 years ago, we men are now dying of cancer called feminism, because we are raised to be traditional nmby our mothers.
Sad
I agree!!
never liked casual dating...it always felt inauthentic. you never miss!!!
When bae doesn’t isn’t ready to commit to a long term marriage straight away but they still want to be with you and get to know you a lot more before the question even comes up 🤬🤬🤬🤬
Abby I love you, but marriage is a two way street. I wanted to be married by 22, but that didn’t happen. No one asked to marry me at that time, and even if they had, they weren’t the one. To put a deadline on people on when to marry is a little insane. Ladies, don’t stress yourselves out putting a deadline. This isn’t a term paper. It’s marriage. It takes commitment, maturity, and trust between you and the person you’re with. I’m 33, and I just got married, but he is the right one for me.
I was even older when I finally got married but that's mostly because of the dumb choices I made when I was younger. Nothing unique here, it's the same dumb choices most modern women make cause modern parents have failed to teach their children to prepare for marriage.
Interesting that you mentioned that you wanted to be married by 22. The studies from dating apps have revealed that men no matter what age all message 22 year old women. What does that say? That age 22 is the peak of a woman's sexual market value and the time of her life when she will have the most options for a marriage partner cause every type of guy - young, old, rich, poor, wants her. But you didn't get married at that age, neither did I, neither do most 22 year olds in the west. Why? Cause of at least 1 (or most likely all) of the following dumb decisions:
1) You had sex with your dates/boyfriends. If you have sex with a guy who's not your husband he'll marry you whenever he feels like it. Could be 1 year, could be 10 years, could be never. Withold sex completely and you'd be surprised how many guys will get very serious very quickly.
2) You dated these guys for more than 1 year. Tick tock, tick tock, all the years add up. 1 year is more than enough. If there's no proposal after 1 year then dump him. Now this is only for women in their 20s. When you hit your 30s now you gotta shorten that to 6 months. I don't care how much you love him, just do it. Cause you'd be surprised how many guys will finally get serious when you show them the door. Ladies if you allow men to mess with you they will, if you don't they won't.
3) The concept of the "the one". Women are wasting years of their lives waiting for "the one" to come to them. Or years in relationships waiting to know if their partner is "the one". This is actually a fairytale straight outta Greek mythology, i.e. it's BS. Your spouse is the "the one" because you CHOSE them. And when you do you must own that choice and must stick to it no matter what, forever. If you want to find "the one for you" then go out get them - make the best CHOICE you can based on values and principles not feelings. And do it now cause tomorrow is not promised.
@@alexiakolarski 22 years old is a womens peak sexual market value?? That’s disgusting to think that women are property to be bought from a sec market. 🤮
@@alexiakolarski honey, I was single. Single. SINGLE. From 22-27, I was with exactly NO ONE. I spent my time going to school, working full time, investing, and studying Judaism. I did not do anything with anyone, and I’m not the only woman who’s done that. Stop hating on women. You’re never going to find anyone speaking like this about us. 22 is NOT a woman’s peak time. I hate that you refer to us like we are cattle or something. No way. You don’t understand or know anything about female biology. No wonder you have time to write so much crap lol you’re going to be alone forever. I don’t buy for a second that you’re married, much less a woman. You can tell that to someone else. “Modern woman”, “modern parents”….lol
*I agree 100%* ♥️🙌🏻
Ended up having sex on the second date. Followed your steps but seem to get a good result.
CAN ANYONE SEE THIS COMMENT
Yes!!!
yup
Great stuff Abby, God bless. ❤️✝️
Took us 2½ years to make things official and get married, we started talking about marriage early on.
According to this video if you had talked about on the second date, you wouldn't have waited so long
There's so many wrong things that could happen if one follows your advice Abbie. The man might not be so sure about what he wants and might have better idea after a few weeks or months dating. Or he might be in a puppy love state of mind and think it'll last, so he enthusiastically says he's aiming to get married and have children. But then either his feeling change or her feelings change. Often you only know what you want once you met the right person, but to process your desires and emotions may take time. I nearly scared my future wife away stupidly telling her when we barely started dating that I wanted children. Not that she didn't want any, but she was not ready then to consider this. And a few years before this I'd have happily and sincerely said to some of my exes that I wanted to marry them and have children. Sometimes emotions make you do or say stupid things. So I'd suggest to ask such serious questions when you feel comfortable asking them and you know the person a little bit more.
The point of dating is to eventually get married. I feel like that should be assumed but in this day and age you never know. It's always good to make that clear from the get go. You date to see how compatible you are, and if the emotions are real. Your intention is and always should be marriage.
@@EvanG529 Actually no, it's not. Or at least not necessarily. You're making a huge generalisation. Some people date to eventually get married, others to find a relationship but outside marriage, others for other reasons. It's not a one size fits all.
@@ludovico6890 why else would you date
@@EvanG529 For a relationship outside marriage, for the fun of dating, because one likes to flirt, or to be FWB. You're doing an argument from ignorance. Different people date for different reasons.
I think you misunderstand her. She's not saying that we should tell someone on a 2nd date that we want to marry them and have children. Rather - make it clear that you date with the intention of finding a wife/husband and having children. That you have that mindset. Then if it doesn't work, fine - move on. But you both are dating with the intention of finding a spouse, and thus you realize you're not wasting time with each other, even if it doesn't work out.
What if he's a gentile?
🤗
That should probably come up at some point, too, if it's relevant.
I'm not a native English speaker, what does it mean? :) Ty
@@sophiegrinstein6276 gentile means not Jewish. Everyone else.
Slow down a little
Your beautiful ❤
i mean, to be fair i'm not sure i'd talk about marriage that quick into a relationship 😟
i mean, two girls being married isn't a very "accepted" thing so i think i'll just sick with dating 👍
I actually agree with Abby for once.
I agree completely.
I just wanted to say thank you for what you are doing with this channel. In a time when we are drowning in cultural degeneracy you are a life preserver of classic, elegant modesty. Thank you for being a shining light in a dark world! 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏
I dated my husband for 10 years before we married (20-30yrs old). I did not want to have children yet, and I'm not from a religious background that would require me to feel any type of way about sex before marriage. I DO understand the rush to the altar though if you do have religious beliefs about that and that is lovely. Regardless, I think you should always just know he wants to move forward with the relationship at any time you do. It will just flow. I think I went on 3 dates with my husband before he told me to stop going home. Began providing for me immediately. Told me he loved me after 2 weeks...i never felt like I had any questions about what he would or wouldnt do for me. I wish all women to have that security and never have to wonder or ask. I dont think a conservative woman (or any woman) should ever have to ask a man if he wants to marry her or not, though. You are a lady not a beggar. He should make that clear to you. I think you can tell a man wants to marry you or not if you are just honest with yourself. Does he treat you the way he would a wife? Does he treat you like the ONE? You know the answer to this question already in your heart. He's not gonna be down on 1 knee by the 2nd date of course (and you shouldn't want him to be because you dont know him yet in fact run like the wind if he is lol) but it's going to be obvious he adores you and would be honored to have the privilege of marrying you. Plus, if you ask him if he wants to get married one day and have children hes going to get the idea you are thinking about that with him by the 2nd date then he will think you're just wanting to marry any old stranger, which is what he will be on the 2nd date, essentially. Definitely let it come up organically and just pay attention. Please don't do the "where is this going?" conversation. You will know where it's going without having to ask.
You look beautiful today Abby! I just had my 2nd daughter 3 weeks ago. You are handling your 3rd trimester beautifully. I hope your birth experience is just as beautiful! I'm so excited for you. I've been following your channel for a while now and you're going to be such a lovely mother. I may not share all of your political views but you are such a lovely lady and your husband is very lucky as will be your child/ren. ❤
We knew on our first date and talked about the big issues by our third. It is so important. It will also help you root out those men who are purposefully dating for marriage. Dating other than dating for marriage is senseless.
Completely agree 😊
love treating dating like a business meeting
Tell it to all the people with successful, happy, long-term marriages.
Best business meeting of my entire life. 💕💕💕💕💕
@@wandertree ok
I feel brainwashed watching this
polska przejmuje ten klip
marriage is a waste of time it offers nothing for the man or woman in today's world never shack up or live together no point to both people need their own space/place.
And this exactly why it’s important to talk about it from the beginning so you don’t waist each time emotionally. That way you can find a significant other that thinks the same way as you about not getting married.
Someone needs to read Theology of the Body… marriage is no waste of time. We are made by and for love.
No women in their early 20s are marriage minded. They’re busy living out their party years. Once they’re done living out their hot girl summers, then they’ll consider serious relationships later in their late 20s. Tell me I’m wrong.
I'm 23 and only date to get married. Not every woman is like me but yeah I do exist.
You’re wrong
You are wrong
Lmao it may not be you, but it sure is the majority. Any girls watching this channel I’m sure has a good head on her shoulders but most other are wilding it out. That’s me putting it nicely btw.
I got married at 22. The party is being married to the man of my dreams.
this is lesbian culture....talking bout moving in and marriage on the second date...lol
❤❤🔥🔥
You are so right. This is how I wasted my life. I hope younger women listen to you. You are so wise.
Its so sad that you feel that your life is wasted because you're not married. I hope you can find better meaning in your life
Any sane person whether it’s guy, girl, non-binary, alien, furry would run for the hills after the person they went on one date with discussed marriage 😂
I'm glad my husband was insane. 💕
Maybe they're sane but they're also the time wasters that aren't wanted. So we don't care - next.
@@anabella1727 Me too. Lemme tell you outside the Anglosphere this "insanity" is producing much lower divorce rates. My parents' "insanity" is going for 42 years now.
FURRIES FOR THE WIN
@@alexiakolarski my parents have been together since high school and have been married for over 30 years…but why does that matter? Not everyone approaches dating the same way. Also I’d love to see the stats on how people who discuss marriage at the second date have lower divorce rates because everyone I know who is married didn’t do that. Also my parents didn’t and they even broke up twice while they were dating. I’ve been in relationships that were awful and I’m glad that I’m no longer in those toxic situations, I couldn’t imagine discussing marriage with those people. Some people are more guarded, and that doesn’t mean they don’t take commitment seriously.