19 Things I Stopped Doing
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- čas přidán 13. 06. 2024
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Today I talk about 19 things that I've stopped doing. We cover everything from lying and living to regret to buying habits and how I shop differently.
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Thank you so much for watching! Join the Live Minimalism Masterclass: 6 Hours of Guided Decluttering to fully complete one space in your home! Learn more here: www.theminimalmom.com/minimalism-masterclass I'd love to spend this time with you! - Dawn
Hi, I would love it if you could share some of your favourite Instagram accounts!
Thank you so much for talking about forgiving ourselves. When you said that you forgive me it really brought tears to my eyes. I have lived with so much regret since my husband left me and our children. It helped me so much to hear your encouraging words. Thank you!
Dawn can you take a deeper dive into number 9 and how the stores marketing strategies to get us to buy more. Example stores must buy 4 or buy 1 get and so on. The placement of items and smells. It’s really an interesting concept and how it makes us buy more than intended. Thank you
Somehow i dont find the new comment bar but really wanted to let you know how helpful you sharing your story and wisdom you got from that with us.❤❤ Thank you Dawn!
@@motherbhaerbear3807 YES! That hit home.
I quit social media altogether because I would doom scroll and compare myself to others online. I'm much happier.
I did if the first month of January and it was wonderful. And I actually lived my life
But is you tube social media? I'd argue, particularly with shorts that it is, particularly that ability to scroll mindlessly. No judgement, except maybe of my own habits!
Yes CZcams is social media.
@@jennugent3957it is but i think way less harmful than instagram or such.
Except CZcams. Everything else is a no. Including news,half a hour then off. I hate anything under the bed.
"I did the best I could at that time." Is a good statement to remember.
Amen on this one.
So true.
My daughter is nearly 14 and I still regret not giving her only formula. She was born with teeth and immediately bite me bloody when I wanted to nurse her so I used a pump. And only pumping without nursing is so stressfull. She was stressed, I was stressed but I was convinced I had to give her my milk. I tried it for months, hardly any milk came so I had to feed formula additionally. And soon after I stopped using the pump her mood went up. She didn't cry as much, I wasn't as stressed, she wasn't as stressed. My second child (with teeth) was so much calmer when I instantly switched to only formula. I still regret making her life so hard in the first time of her life and she still isn't as calm as her brother. These first months did something to her. I deeply regretted it, although I wanted to do the best for her by ignoring how miserably I felt.
Made me cry ❤
Life as a new mom is so challenging and feeding problems are the worst. For me, I felt like it was the one thing a mom should be able to do and it was such a struggle. You did the absolute best you could. And I suspect that you would say that to a friend too. Maybe your daughter is also just wired differently and that's why you had a different start and not the other way around. @@solidstate9451
"Unwanted advice is criticism". Wow. Just wow! What a game changer. This is advice that speaks to me. Thank you.
Yes!! Bingo!! Realised this is why I find my mum and one particular friend a bit triggering 😅
The problem with this is, that you don't know when it's unwanted.
Not asked for is not the same as unwanted..
Very many people don't ask little in general. Whether it's questions or help or advice.
If I see sb. struggles with sth., I will offer my help or advice. For me it's rather helped once too often than too little. Idk., maybe I'm wrong..
Definitely learning this with my adult children....even if I am NOT criticizing, they assume I am.
@@katiecanna8521 I can relate.
Right?! I really think that is why social media is so draining and stressful. You are always reading people's advice/opinions..😮
I stopped making up things that I thought other people were thinking about me. I say to myself all the time "What they think of me is none of my business" and it has helped SO much with my self-esteem and anxiety.
"You probably wouldn’t worry about what people think of you if you could know how seldom they do." - Olin Miller. These are the words I live by!
Other than my current illness, at 40 I stopped giving a hoot about 90% of everything. My daughter is real self conscious. I tell her does (whomever) pay your bills, do your chores, make your decisions? Then they don’t matter.
I so need to adopt this. I'm realizing that being so worried about what others in my life are thinking, while sometimes stemming from a place of care for others, is also often tied to my own pride and perfectionism. Thank you for this reminder to just let it go!
Love this!
I should do this. Making up things on what people think about me is stealing my happiness. It’s really none of my business.
For number 8, I am a gifts person and love little gifts, but also hate clutter and waste. This past Christmas I got all of the stocking stuffers at the grocery store. Food items each person likes that we don’t buy often, like pop tarts, fancy ramen bowls, or the expensive bbq sauce. Everybody was just as happy and the food all got eaten within a month.
Our family is mostly adults. If it can be used up or eaten, that's what you get. Cause we all have enough. And if we needed it we would have gotten it for ourselves by now.
Great idea ❤
Good thoughts!!
I would love fancy ramen bowls as a gift 😂
Giving advice when not asked for, I think comes with age… most people want to vent, they don’t want advice.
I’m bad for this. 🤦🏻♀️
It comes from a good place (I want to help), but you’re right, most people just want to vent.
I know some people who are constantly advising. It makes me crazy, even if they are not advising me.
Some people are fixers. It’s part of their make up. I have 2 friends I don’t disclose to as they immediately start to try to solve!
So true. This is the main reason that I find it really hard to open up & trust others.
Most of the time I want others to listen, not give advice.
I often find that women are worse than men for giving advice.
@@jomandy5688Omg…. I never thought about it that way! That’s me😮 I try to fix my kids problems so they won’t go through hard times like I did! I’m always looking for a solution! I’ve never thought I was a fixer, but that’s me! I do not like that about myself, believe me it comes from a place of love but that doesn’t make it right. Thanks for sharing that I’m going to work on it❤️
At 50, I stopped coloring my hair and embraced the natural gray. I’ve never felt so free to be me! And I wear less makeup now, too.
I also stopped charging my phone and watch by the bed at night, putting them in another room instead. I find freedom to not be tempted to scroll in the middle of the night and am training myself to sleep for longer periods of time again. It’s working!
I need to do that
The best response I got when embracing my natural grey was when someone said to me ‘What a fabulous colour, where did you get it from’ and I replied ‘It’s mine, all mine’. 😀
@@suzanneturley4433There has been a handful of times (not many) that I decided to color my champagne blonde almost white hair. Each & every time either a stranger or an acquaintance has commented on how unusual my hair color is and how did I get it. So I’ve given up on any changes, I am almost 70. It’s easier and cheaper to be natural.
I cried, when you spoke about forgiving yourself. I am not very kind person. Neither to myself no to others. I was raised this way. I am trying to change that.
We are all a product of our upbringing. We have to learn to heal ourselves when others might have failed us. I hope you have adequate support for your journey.
I'm so proud of you! You have my prayers for your journey.
at least you admit the problem, now u can work on it honestly
Good for you, recognizing what may be a weakness and deciding to work on it. Take good care of YOU! ❤
I feel like crying reading this comment. This is so honest. Iam a very kind person and I sometimes have a hard time understanding why people are so harsh. You were raised like this. Probably as a protection. But I never thought of this. I took it personally so many times when someone wasn't nice to me. But I get it now. I hope and wish for you that you allow yourself to SHINE. Your smile was made by God and why wouldn't it nice for everybody to see you smile. It comes back soo many times and provides fullness. (English is not my mothertounge, hope it is still clear what I wish to say ;-)
I quit saving whipped topping, margarine, and cottage cheese containers!
I needed this! Today they will go to recycle! Thank you!
Doesn’t it feel freeing?😌
So good!!!
We have a limit on those because we do use, but they can get out of control. There's a basket and when it's full, it is time to reconsider.
I keep a few but they go in the garage because they get used for paint, mixing things, plant starting etc. They do not get space in my kitchen.
I just turned 70. It hit me hard. My father died at 78 and that doesn't seem too far away. It's stressing. I just started getting things together that should have already been done. Then I could live the rest of my life, how ever long, more peacefully, knowing that everything was in place. My father did this. I have taken the minimalist attitude so that my remaining years will be peaceful. Thank you for the inspiration you give! It's what I needed to refocus. I don't like shopping, except Dollar Tree. 😂 So I'm taking my grown son's suggestion.... Do what you want. You've given enough to others.❣️
Our time is so limited. At 65 I had a stroke and carotid endarterectomy. Getting older is rough. I plan to spend every moment I have left to enjoy what's most important !
I had a few baby strokes on near my 60th bday due to a congenital PFO in my heart. It was a huge wake up call to how little time we have left. God bless you and let’s live life to the fullest NOW❤️
Not that I think you're old, but I love the saying "old age is not for wimps". It makes us stronger.
@@thatswhatisaid8908 it does make us stronger for sure
Your idea to give ourselves a budget of $100 to re-buy things if necessary is so great. Can you imagine all the random screws, brackets, and just-in-case items we could let go of if we gave ourselves permission to re-buy them for a couple of dollars IF we ever needed them?
No kidding. I think we spend more money in a cluttered home buying things because we can't find them. Out of the 3 dozen boxes I've donated, I don't miss any of it.
I love that!
Dawn's mentioned the concept of 20 in 20, if you can replace the item in 20 minutes or less for $20 or less, let it go. It's amazing how many things we hang onto just in case 🫣
I just finished decluttering my home. I actually went through all my picture hooks, screws, nuts and bolts. I have three of each item. The rest were donated. I hate sewing so you won't find a needle or thread in my home.
I just tried the $20 in 20 minutes on my hubby when we were decluttering a disastrous closet and it worked! He let go of several things I never thought he'd part with. Score! @@JenOooo
I stopped making fancy meals every single night of the week for my family. Simplifying the things we eat regularly has reduced my stress levels and given me more time to spend enjoying my kids. Eggs and toast, cream of wheat (made with eggs and milk), pancakes with fruit, and even sandwiches are totally acceptable dinner meals for us now. I still make more put together meals a few times per week, but I don't stress over it.
Use a crockpot or Instant Pot for soups and stews are easy too, and you don’t need to watch the pot.
@@sct4040 Yes! I love meals that are easy to prepare.
I don’t have collections of anything anymore.
I don’t do crafts anymore.
I quit buying and planting so many flowers. A few pops of color are good for me. And, I don’t miss hauling the three huge bags of Miracle-gro soil home from Costco every year. In fact every year when I walk by it in Costco, I feel a huge relief.
I no longer feel the need to have a huge wardrobe.
As a senior gal who prided herself as a Master Gardener extraordinaire, I finally started to let up & let go when my body started to rebel! I'm even considering downsizing to a more manageable size property. It's not easy when so much of my identity is tied up in my beautiful landscape.
I had an injury which limited my time in the garden. This was my "therapy" and it was a bitter pill to swallow, but I knew that while "Spring Me" loved gardening, and especially stocking up on new blooms, (and pots and soil and plant food and garden decor) "Summer Me" (I live in Texas) was mad at "Spring Me" because she was outside in the boiling heat watering every day and trying to keep the plants alive and "Winter Me" was mad at Spring and Summer Me's because she was out in the icy cold covering everything up. In the Spring I would have plants which hadn't died, so I would keep them even though they'd seen better days but I also could not resist the new plants - it was a crazy Merry-Go-Round which I had to be forced off of by an injury. I am much more content now with a well thought out garden which is more economical, user friendly and minimal!
@@noracomeau2986 I know what you are saying. I'm trying to let go as well. Focusing primarily on growing vegetables.
@@noracomeau2986 Soon to be 80, we recently sold our home of 43 years with the beautiful garden I loved working in. Having downsized our home, I am limiting my gardening to raised containers that don't require kneeling and backbreaking bending over. I'll also have a few hanging flower planters. The only in-ground plants will be some rosemary shrubs, because I gotta have rosemary! Besides that, we'll be planting a couple of dwarf fruit trees. That should be enough to supply us with veggies, fruit and an inviting floral entryway. Whatever else we need we can get at our wonderful farmers market, which supports local growers, especially young farmers starting out.
@@melodireyes9687 This reminds me of Jerry Seinfeld's bit about Night Guy doesn't care about Morning Guy, but Morning Guy hates Night Guy!! 😂😂
My twins spent 89 days in the NICU after being born at 25 weeks and we are soooooo close 11 years later. Yes, I had to forgive myself that my body failed and remember God’s plans are so much better!! We probably would have missed out on homeschooling and seeing a miracle everyday when they run and overcome so much. How could I create guilt when the Lord provided so many blessings. ❤
I have started watching you a couple of months ago. Even an empty nester at 49. I just gutted out my whole house. I've been strengthening my decluttering muscle for 20 years as I lived under an abusive nassarsistic ex. The cluttering was an emotional security blanket. I have gone far and just now I mastered it.
I want to thank you for your tips, your so lovely you can't imagine how much you helped me.
I feel great now when I clean my house❤
This gave me goosebumps, way to go! ❤❤❤
@@TheMinimalMom much love from Australia 🇦🇺❤💙
I'm continuing to maintain a clean arranged working space.
I will always refer back to your videos. I can so relate to you, I have 4 kids and one grandchild. Keep up the great work you do. Your kind, beautiful, articulated and professional.
I don’t watch the news except on rare occasions. My empathic heart can’t take the constant turmoil and sadness. I try hard to be real about past depression so others don’t feel alone, instead of pretending to be someone more “together.” I don’t go to malls.
Was the biggest news junkie since 11 years old. Quit cold turkey by the end of 1997… the year Princess Dianna died. It was the year news turned sensationalist & speculating, it just kept repeating itself until another story overshadowed the last. The news will drive you mad or sad… I don’t need either.
I totally agree! People say, But you need to stay informed! And I ask them what they do with the information they learn on the news..... I don't want to stress myself out just so I can have party conversation.
Same re news and malls
@@MyFocusVariessame. But what do you do during those conversations? Sometimes they're the only conversations. I do try to change the subject, but it always reverts to the news
@@MyFocusVariesyes, reason not to watch news to impress people, I watch it for me and enjoy the educational ones especially, for the sad ones I see headings and move on mostly
I stopped looking at beautiful houses on Instagram since I felt so envious. Now I look at women who are fixing things and making them better.
As an OB nurse for years, cold newborns start utilizing their brown fat storage (of which they have a limited supply) and glucose levels drop. They are then more and more difficult to feed and the cycle continues. Babies, especially newborns, are MUCH quicker to start going downhill and consequently crash than adults. So there was no need to forgive yourself. Brain/Neuro pathways and lungs are the last things to finish developing so yes, every day makes a difference. And it does not matter if a baby is “full term size”, that is only a single piece of the puzzle.
Good to know!
Another OB nurse here - retired - you are absolutely correct. Your comment is well stated. A cold newborn is the last thing any nurse wants to see - especially, in one that isn't quite full term.
@@dsmith9796 I may be wrong because all my babies were overdue, but couldn’t the baby just stay in a wrap against the mom to stay warm?
@@cynthiafisher9907, it's very difficult for floor nurses to monitor a baby wrapped up with his mom around the clock - most hospitals just don't have abundant staff with special training to watch a less than full-term newborn in a regular room. In a special nursery (NICU) with monitors and nurses with advanced training assigned to only one or two newborns any downward turn can be caught immediately. Regular OB floor nurses may have so many patients that they are lucky to be able to check on baby & mom every two hours - that is just not enough if you have a newborn with low temp - blood sugar could drop dangerously low without anyone noticing. That is just one of many things that could go wrong. I can see how a new mom wouldn't understand the need for advanced care when the baby looks full size and perfectly healthy. A neonatal intensive care unit really is the best place for any newborn with temperature issues but especially one that isn't full term. Thanks for asking.
@@dsmith9796 Ok, I see your point. There are a lot of different types of moms out there as well. It’s your job to monitor that baby, so I get that. Thanks for responding!
Ohhhh Dawn, THIS ONE. The BEST video ever, and number 19... sigh... when my son was 8 I FORGOT TO PICK HIM UP AT A FRIEND'S HOUSE. This was in the 80's (yes, I'm old) and there were no cell phones and the friend's family had gone somewhere and he was waiting outside all alone for me to pick him up. I FORGOT and was OUT TO LUNCH with my in-laws... just la-di-da having lunch OMG!!! Seriously, he waited two hours. I had SEVERE guilt for over 30 years about this. Finally, a couple of years ago, I did exactly what you suggest. I simply forgave myself. I don't know why I couldn't or didn't earlier, or why I was so traumatized when my son barely remembered the event and didn't seem fazed by it... but there ya' go. Please, everyone, do what Dawn said so eloquently. Dawn, you are no imposter, my friend, you are the REAL DEAL, and you are helping so many people so profoundly. You have much to be proud of. Thank you.
We were always the last ones to be picked up from any event. And I was a scaredy cat, always fearful while waiting for some reason. My mom was a very good mom and I’m sure if I would have told her how uncomfortable it made me feel she would have made more of an effort to be on time…but, I hold no ill will towards her and we siblings often have a good laugh about it:)
I’m glad you stopped beating yourself up over it:)
Yes, the darn guilt of so many things can destroy you if you are not able to forgive yourself. 😢
I forgot to pick my son up after a day traveling for a high school band competition. I am grateful that the school is less than a mile from our house, because he had to carry his trumpet home in a 40-degree downpour. Poor kid!
My friends mom used to pick her up as the last person from ballet and she was waiting all the time for so long. During this time she was "busy" with counting numbers. Now, she has a "big" job and gets very good money because she studied something with numbers very well.
My mother took me to the shops in my pram when I was a few days old and left me behind. She only remembered me when she got home and my father asked her how the baby had enjoyed the outing 😄 I bet a lot of mothers have done the same but are too embarrassed to admit to it!
10:21 Number 12, "stop trying to convince others," is something I never thought about before! "Unwanted advice is criticism." What an interesting perception. I think that is happening a lot in our day and age. People unnecessarily advise, and criticize when others don't agree with their opinion, and then the others become defensive in their opposition. 🤔 Wow.
Yes, that one really stood out to me because I'm guilty of it. I think we need a printable!
Agree! Not to mention it NEVER WORKS!!!
I learned this after my one child, male moved out. Unless he specifically asked, I never made advisory comments. Not so easy at first, but I think, though I haven’t asked him, that it has made our relationship great. I transferred this skill to basically all my relationships. I know I get tired of unwanted advice, which I’ve never thought of as criticism before. Something to ponder!
Amen on the not following fear-based accounts or reading articles warning us about yet another danger. One was actually titled, "11 Ways You're Taking a Shower Wrong." Honestly! Life is too short. Thanks for another great video.
If I come out of the shower clean and still breathing. I'm doing it right. So many man made rules, to make up feel bad.
I finally had to say I can’t do it anymore and just live my life. And it’s like the stuff they tell you, Lord n knows next week they come back and say oh wait now it’s this not that. I had to say heck with it and just use my common sense on the daily. It was making me crazy and afraid to do like anything.
Cancer at age 38 taught me a lot. But mainly I don’t say “yes” to doing everything anymore. Downtime is needed and I am no good anyone if I’m stretched too thin. And I don’t need a big purse 😂 I carry a small crossbody purse now that has a slim wallet, pen, chapstick, 2 keys and a phone. That’s all I need daily.
Totally agree with the fear based accounts. I was 100% a crunchy mom through and through until I left social media lol Severe anxiety and stress is much worse for my health than any dye could ever be lol
Soo true!! Same!
My brother and sister-in-law were 100% granola parents until recently now that their children are teens. It was SO HARD to buy gifts for the kids. Now I rely on Ulta and Lego gift cards. Little secret, they are more fun to hang out with now. 😊
Yes! Amen! ❤
I did a lot of research and learned a lot. I have a family member with a weak immune system and neurological issues, and another with Asperger's, so I have a list of things I avoid because they absolutely harm the people I love. (including a couple types of artificial dyes lol)
But I just can't follow the constant barrage of new horror stories. Maybe I'm in denial? But I just can't. I reached my limit. It's just too stressful.
Forgiving myself is so much more difficult for me than forgiving someone else. I’m not sure why. This is a good one.
Same. Every single day.
We seem to hold ourselves to a higher standard than we expect from others. This is why forgiving ourself is hard. We know we are not perfect, but Perfectionism can still have a hold on us.
I think you’re not alone with this Megan ❤
Same here, Megan. Plus I have very low self-esteem.
Forgiving yourself is loving yourself again..be kind to yourself and things will look better down the track. Takes time...
I have totally quit wondering or worrying what people think of me. I've grown very content with myself. Not perfect, but I'm ok😀 So I let my hair go white before I turned 50 and then cropped it in a very short pixie, and I love it. It's minimal!! I had fine hair and held back for years. I now feel free and powerful😉 Also can't swim properly so I am going to teach myself. Don't care who sees me with my float board. It feels great! And now that I have found minimalism, it's the icing on the cake. Dawn, you were the first that made me sit up and listen and I thank you for It. It has changed me so much for the better.❤🇮🇪
🙌 I’m 63 & taught myself via CZcams while house/pet/pool sitting last summer.
I stopped coloring my hair at 45 and embraced my white hair. I am now 59 and get compliments on my hair from strangers on a weekly basis!
At 65, I have realized I have as much right to be on this planet as anyone else. I used to hate myself for being a painfully shy dork. I wish I knew then not to hate myself.
@@maggierose97 I'm glad you know now! 👏👏👏
Love your attitude
I feel the same about having nothing under the bed. It just feels extra good to keep that space clear.
My allergist endorses this message 😂
I agree! I have a basket that I have under my bed that I keep a book, my phone cord, earbuds, a notebook & pen, & a few other things in . Nothing else is under there & I love it.
My house is pretty cluttered-working on it - BUT I never store stuff under my bed! It seems like a huge dust magnet.
That was actually one of the only points she made that I disagreed with. The way I look at it is that it's better to have stuff under the bed where you won't typically see it than out on the open floor where you will. Out of sight, out of mind, and if you need it you'll know where it's at.
@@Laz3rCat95 I agree -- but I have room to store things elsewhere and I really do feel better when it's clear under there.
I need to keep reminding myself that if I’m dwelling on stuff that happened, if I’m present in the past, I’m not able to be present in the present, and that’s where I’m needed, and can make the most difference.
I need to work on that too.
"That I have stopped trying to convince others", this! Just has a conversation with my husband about this just this morning. I have two situations where I just have to say, I'm done and move on. I just don't have the band width anymore, and the mental energy I am spending, the cost is just to high. I love that everything on this list speaks to both monetary and mental energy.
❤
We decided years ago to not allow our energy to be drained by extended lower value/ higher stress relationships and devote it to our marriage and children. It was the best decision !
whoa. I don’t want to spend my precious time managing stuff, either.
“We do the best we can with the information we have at the time”. I have often told others this same thing. It is SO true. We don’t deliberately make wrong decisions.
My husband says something similar about the past - "It was the best decision at the time."
I also have run away from toxic relationships. And I have forgiven myself from doing that. I can’t ‘fix’ them and my life is so much more peaceful without them. Also, being 70 I can kind of see my expiration date ahead and don’t do projects that don’t give me joy. Life is too short. Thanks for all your inspiration. I’m still learning even at this age and I cluttering my life. Last year it was ‘Clutter free in 23, this year it is ‘More in 24!’
I’ve quit saying yes to commitments out of fear of disappointing others. And quit overanalyzing decisions and instead just go with my gut. Also quit feeling guilty about not reading enough.
Reading the comments counts 😉
My youngest was born a full month early and spent 28 days in the NICU. I was able to go home but leaving without my baby was really hard. I felt like I failed him for not carrying to term (but having a short cervix I was high risk with all of my kids). I didn’t take maternity leave because the closest NICU to us is 30 minutes away and I had three other boys at home. It was impossible to always be 30 minutes away from him and I felt so bad for not being there constantly. But he came home 28 days later and we didn’t miss a beat. Now he tots around, screams and plays with his brothers and is so cuddly with everyone. He’s perfect despite not being able to be close and have what I had expected to have with him as far as maternity leave in the beginning. I think women naturally feel more guilt, but a lot of it is self imposed to what expectations we didn’t meet. We probably could use a dose of empathy toward ourselves and lowering those expectations slightly! ❤
I think what I love the most about your channel is that it’s so much more than a roadmap for minimalism. Your topics transcend past daily tasks into concepts of philosophy, psychology, spiritualism, parenting, happiness…. All presented in such a smart yet relatable and down to earth way. I just love your message… and I want to thank you for all the work you put into your channel. You’ve given me lots to think about and have really helped me to deal with difficult things using a perspectives I hadn’t considered. You’re providing help and comfort for a lot of people….Plus you’re just adorable and very enjoyable to watch. ❤
So sweet and so true!!
Totally agree! This channel goes FAR beyond clutter clearing, and the depth, insightfulness, and warmth of Dawn's delivery adds even more to the information itself. So grateful to be able to watch her videos!
“Forgive yourself”… Dawn you put tears in my eyes. I love my children (who are in their 20’s now) so much, but I felt so guilty for going back to work full time when they were each 3 months old. I know it sounds silly to so many people that I even still worry about that, but I have never gotten over the mom guilt. I wanted to be a stay at home mom. We just didn’t have the resources for me to be able to do that. So you had no idea how much your comment touched my heart! Thank you! ❤
I think one of the things that helped me the most was to stop expecting I'll always be able to give my 110%. I have bad days and that's ok. No need for the pressure. It took time, but it helps me enjoy little things and be ok with not doing something all the time.
Did I write this comment? 👆😉
And that's why I still follow you after purging my "follows"... you make me smile and feel happy, thank you!
Yes when she said that, this is one of those happy channels! 😊
I use cleaners , shampoo, conditioner as a toilet cleaner. To finish off a almost empty container.
I live by the phrase "soap is soap"
This is such a great idea! It confuses me so much how we have so many types of soap and cleaners. I use dish soap to wash our hands in the kitchen. (I use a "natural" product so to me what is the difference.) People seem baffled by this when they come over. I don't get it.
Good idea . Thank you .
@@allisonc9645I also use dish soap to wash my hands before preparing food. I find it weird how many people have an extra hand soap in the kitchen...Then I started wondering if maybe I was weird...
I use dish soap in the kitchen as well to wash my hands. I do put it into a soap dispenser (soap is clear) no one knows the difference.
#16: no longer spend time with people that don’t make me feel good. The 2014 vampire mockumentary called, “What We Do in the Shadows” has a term for the people formerly known as Debbie Downers: energy vampires! I appreciate your insights in this new season of life as I learn to manage both household inventory and EMOTIONAL INVENTORY! Sorry for the visual shouting there, but it’s exciting.
Over Easter spent time with family. Realise that one half made me feel good, and the other half was very insulting. I'll now make a concerted effort to spend my time in a less balanced manner with each of them, and do what feels good.
Colin Robinson! I love that show!! It’s such great satire
@@frugalkitty It took two tries for me to get it, but my son’s persistence paid off. It’s like watching roadkill with a Twilight Zone vibe.
I am 42. I noticed when I entered my 40s, I also became so much more aware of time. It is such a gift. I find that I am more grateful and can really live in the moment. I hope you also find that joy.
Along the lines with number 10 has actually helped me let go of clothes: I tell myself, I never would have come across this item if I skipped the store that day, so therefore, it wouldn’t even be in my closet. For some reason, actualizing this and telling myself this makes it so much easier to let the item go.
I love this!!!
Regret is a huge deal!! Thank you for opening the topic.❤ I thought I had a good handle on letting the past stay in the past until we moved from the home we raised our kids in to follow our first grandchild across the country. Three years after that hard move, our kids moved away! So there we were, in our new state without family and few friends. We rallied after a few months and moved, but not back. We moved to another new place. We were really aimless until we stopped and said to each other: "I regret leaving in the first place!" THEN, we were able to talk it through and let that go and we're moving on now at 60 and 62. But you would not believe how much trouble you can bring down upon yourself when you're in denial that you made a mistake, but you're FEELING IT. You have to let it go, but you can't ignore it. It's debilitating.
Another great video Dawn! I'm feeling challenged to give up a few more things! 😊❤
I can relate - moved so many times, and ended up homeless with my young daughter three times. So many regrets, but after this video have been telling myself out loud that I forgive myself for not being able to afford a home.
Thanku for sharing 💓
Colin Robison is a fun addition!
I quit caring about my annual reviews, observations, and walkthroughs as a teacher. I am very good at my job and have taught for 21 years. No administrator is going to tell me something about teaching that I don’t already know, and I was stressing over all of that feedback. My only question in my review is if I am getting a contract for the next year. If the answer is yes, then we are done talking. It took a lot of weight off of my shoulders to always be perfect. I just let it all go and I am so much happier at this time of year.
Beautiful video that I saved for myself to watch over and over to remind me to stay the course! You are a blessing!
I quit worrying about having the latest and greatest, such as designer purses. I found as I get older, the more I hate carrying a big designer purse. They get dirty and worn just like any other one and honestly, do you really need to bring the whole house with you wherever you go?
I follow Diane in Denmark here on CZcams and she is so sweet, kind and inspiring. She does 3 videos each week on decluttering, cleaning, living your truth. She answers questions and recommends books and is so lovely. I’m a lot older than you and am starting to declutter. I look at things and ask myself whether I would want to pack it if I moved house? I’m not planning on moving but it definitely gives me a new perspective on things I have 😊
I agree! Diane of Denmark is a pleasure to listen to 😊!
I sometimes imagine what I would take if I have 1/2 an hr to gather my stuff. 😅
The answer is not much.
@@sct4040 🤣 That has certainly happened to me!
Great tips. The one about the fear tactics used by the food and supplement people really got me. I just can't live my life worried about every little thing I ingest. It's exhausting to follow those people even if they have content that is technically good because I'm so worried I've been doing it all wrong. My hope for everyone is we are all less hard on ourselves, which will make us kinder to others.
Your birth story is almost identical to mine. My son was 36 wks 6 days, and he was 6lb 6oz. And the hospital pushed us and he had to go to the nicu for several days. Thank you for sharing your story. I didn't realize how much I had to forgive myself.
I've also stopped saying the word "should." Not my job to judge others, or even myself!
Loved everything you talked about. My husband watches all the bad news events that are going on everywhere. He has become anxious and fearful of the outside world. Not me, yes I’m concerned and cautious but literally don’t care. I don’t watch television at all, a couple hours of CZcams just to learn about gardening and sewing. At 62 I focus on myself and enjoy all my hobbies and projects. I’ve been a minimalist for years, love all you teach.
#9. I actually received a letter from Target last week wondering if I had lost my Red Card because I hadn’t used it in a while!!! Staying out of stores is a great idea!
Oh love it! No intro! The longer I watch CZcams the more I skip intros and loathe channels with intros >10mins. ❤
That black blouse with square neckline looks great on you! I also like to wear something like that myself but can't hardly find any.
One of the best feel-good CZcams accounts that I watch is Tasting history. It's a lovely show that delves into history and the cuisine of the time
Thanks for the recommendation. I have subbed
It’s a good one
I stopped believing it said anything about me at all that my mother wasn't able to love me or my oldest brother. Somehow that freed me to finally love myself!❤❤I also stopped second-guessing myself when people who must have seen news stories about mothers who torture or kill their kids tried to convince me ALL mothers love their children. Now I spend time with people who know how to love and respond to hard truths with compassion. Much better! 💖
Pam here….I started blocking, deleting and not listening to NEGATIVE, Fear Mongering creators, posters and even ‘friends and family’ that were stuck in the ‘fight or flight’ of negativity or hate, or fear…was wearing me out emotionally. I think so much of teenage depression, suicide and over all UN-happiness is from parents allowing them to be exposed to so much negativity…they need to MODEL that healthier perspective. Great insights!!
Agree 100%. I have had a lot of emotional trauma in my life, & I have learned that you have to be protective of your mental health.
These shows amaze me how you all got caught up on products in the first place ; my mum 95 was always old school and loved how she never got sucked into brands or products still uses first mop ever invented with the metal bucket still uses sunlight soap for washing up washing clothes lives by vinegar and brown paper lunch bags home cooks from scratch and here we are the world turning back to the old days especially for recycling plastic and saving money amazing 😮
I remember little about what my parents said, but I certainly remember what they did. Thank you!❤️
Truth! Even little lies can grow to big lies & more hurt feelings than being honest with the truth upfront..
Quitting lying prevents addiction and crime. The ripple effect of truthfulness cannot be underestimated. It seems hard in the moment, but in the long run truth is easier. ❤❤❤
Ask yourself why that person cannot handle the truth? That's the underLYING issue!
I have uninstalled two online shopping apps that just were just permanent temptation for me...I spent way too much time "shopping" and also spent way too much money and bought things I would have worn in my "ideal" world but my life just doesn't allow for unpractical clothes and things I wish I looked good in but just wasn't right for my body shape
i quit social media many many years ago. I found myself feeling sad because my posts were ignored, putting too much value into it. This was as a mature adult, I was surprised at my reaction, I feel for young people navigating through social media!
Even when I know I’ve missed things, I don’t care…it’s unhealthy.
I know CZcams is social media too, but I’m selective what I watch…I watch little news…I prefer positive channels like yours…thanks Dawn!
Our family stopped listening to the radio in the car. It broke, and we received a huge blessing! Alone in the car gives us time to think or pray and when we are with the kids, we just chat. Occasionally on trips we listen to preselected mp3s or CDs, but mostly we just enjoy listening to one another.
The medical community can be bullies. Where did we get the idea that we can’t say no?? Very similar thing happened to me and I was traumatized but the Lord has a way of healing us! me and my little guy are doing great 😊 !
Unwanted advice is criticism..wow so true. I used to see posts and videos about minimalisum, and I would roll my eyes. It wasn't until I wanted to declutter and started seeing a difference in my house and life that I saw it as help and encouragement and ageed with it.
You have such a great way of sharing! It's not telling anyone what to do or not to do. It's not saying, "I'm right. Therefore, if you feel differently, you are wrong." You are gentle, suggestive to being open to different ideas, and most importantly, you are KIND! For me, I ALWAYS just try to be kind! Truth here. You were the very first channel I subscribed to on CZcams! I'm always happy when I see you have a new video out. Blessings to you, Tom, and the kids! Love your sister, Diana, too. I'm happy to see her channel is doing so well!
❤❤❤
After majorly decluttering and only keeping my most favorite clothes/dishes/decor/ linens, I’ve found I don’t even want to shop or browse. I already own my favorites!! It is SO SO freeing!!!!!
Hi Dawn. Great video but you asked and I think it’s maturity, because life is about experiences. Life is a lot of “firsts”. You know how you feel from the first pregnancy to the fourth? What changes. You. You grow in confidence based on knowledge. What’s important, what’s not. And you’re always growing and learning. You mentioned “just in case”, you’ve learned (experienced) you’re maybe talking $100 dollars now and “just in case” has lost its value. I’m almost 70. I’ve lived long enough to know every person matters and has their own crooked path of learning and experience. I think when we really begin to honestly see no ourselves and realize we are always a work in progress doing the best we can it really sinks in that so is everyone else. Maturity makes you shut your mouth and listen a lot more. Hugs.
Almost 2 weeks and because of you I've decided not to bring my phone to my bedroom at night, it feels like I've regained some of my freedom🥰, thank you for making a difference 💛
I loved the part about guilt. I so needed to hear that. ❤
Great video. I’ve been gone for a while and was delighted to watch something that has value for me and my life. ❤️
My husband and I downsized last June, selling our huge home and moving into a 1400 square ft apartment. I thought it would kill me, but it was one of the best decision we have ever made. Our kids chose items of furniture and stuff that they wanted, we gave 3 away so much stuff to our niece and nephew, and I sold a lot to friends through m6 Facebook. I’m stuck now with pictures and memorabilia that needs sorting. Otherwise, we love this move and our kids owe us BIG time. lol
Now I want this list up in my fridge.. thank you!
10% more for being an expert? I will start seeing my self differently!
I’m so glad to hear you talk about getting fear based thinking under control. I’m not quite sure where exactly it started, but as a Gen Xer, I saw it spin out of control with Millennials. Could have been due to helicopter moms or social media, but it was really frustrating (annoying) to watch that happen to our society. We’re better than that. Great video!
The pandemic taught us to question every edict, mandate, even the "news". Pushed down from the government , our trust in institutions, in particularly the medical establishment, has taken a serious blow. Now you always ask yourself the internal question "can I trust this _____?"
I pray you will be free from every guilt. We go through hard things and situations and God is there in the midst of it all. May you feel enveloped with God's unfailing love.
It took a while, but my instagram is pretty wholesome. I skip whatever is fearmongering, whatever is stressful and just follow accounts that share things that make me smile. Now I get to see science, history, agronomy, posts that make me happier.
$100 rebuys is a lot cheaper than a therapist and eases your stress levels everyday you live in and enjoy your space! Granted I decluttered some vintage Sorel boots that I have been searching to rebuy for 2 years lol. You live and you learn.
You made the best decision at that time with the knowledge, resources and goals you had.
Slimmed late at night by social media 😂😂😂...I think I'm going to agree. Trying very hard to limit my intake. Been asking myself - how is what I'm taking in making me a better me ? 😊
Self (or others) imposed guilt. Ugh! That’s why Hannah is one of my favorite women in the Bible. She was able to bring her burdens to the Lord & LEAVE them there! Even though others misunderstood her (or were intentionally cruel), she was able to give it to God & walk away! Some good info here. Thanks for sharing!
My favorite quote about criticism is “A criticism is just a really bad way of making a request. Just make the request.”
I have wheeled drawers underneath my bed (some empty) solely just to keep cats out lol it’s nice that it’s a set with the bed so it doesn’t look cluttered and they don’t have things in them that are “to dos” but pure storage (1 set of bed sheets, winter coat and then cords).
True, the one bed with space under is the my cats favourite place to hide and vomit!
I keep empty boxes in places to keep my husband out. ha! 😆he would fill it with 'stuff'. learned this from dawn. it is a brilliant secret.
Oh I love this. I have been decluttering for ages but my husband doesn’t really know because the containers are still in the cupboards. Now and again he gets cranky about me and all my stuff, so I clean out an area quicksmart and he is amazed.
@@hp-cs7mxBrilliant!
We all feel better when we watch you, Dawn! Thanks for all your down to earth advice.
Dawn, you are one of the accounts on my curated CZcams feed. I always feel enriched and encouraged after watching your videos.
Thank you - this was an exceptionally good video for me and I'm sure others too. I need to go back and write them down to keep in front of me. I laughed to much at the saving boxes, bags and packing materials! I am SO guilty! You chose really good things to think about and improve ourselves. Thank you so much!
You were recommended to me by a friend over a year ago and I subscribed but hadn't watched any videos yet. This was the first and I'm excited to go watch more of your content! I seriously struggle with clutter (physical and mental clutter) and I need some direction on how to cut it down. I always describe the clutter in my house as being like white noise. Sometimes I can drown it out but sometimes it is deafening. Anyway, thanks for sharing these points! Have a blessed day!
You won't regret it!!!
Go back through and binge watch!..There is an option I think to scroll to the Oldest content! 👍
This should be a book, great content for living minimalist lifestyle where it counts. Feels like real self care
my grandson has celiac and another autoimmune disease affected by food, so our events are food free, it started at the beginning because it was discovered there are several foods he couldn’t eat..,and for awhile the list of foods were unknown….so we went food free….as a nation we focus so much on the food….our events are all focused on the event, on the experience. we usually go to parks for celebrations…no one has a mess to clean up!
Just what I needed today! How do you always do that? :) Thank you for being real Dawn, appreciate it so much 💚
This was great! I feel like, as women, we are socialized to doubt ourselves and thrift. I think i buy less when i just admit what i like. It's taken me about 4 years of decluttering to get my apartment to a manageable state, but i noticed yesterday SUCH a big difference. I could come home from work and just be.
I have stopped trying to do or say what I thought people wanted or needed! I try like you to not lie, but I don’t want to be mean. So I say things how I see it but with a compassion for the person. Often I think; If I can’t say anything nice then I won’t say anything at all. And I ask! That makes people feel like I am interested in them instead of a bully that tells other people what they want or they like! Good topic!
I use vinegar and water to clean. Don't buy cleaning products except toilet cleaner and oven cleaner.
Your story about forgiving yourself is really touching, and that's so good for me to reevaluate which accounts in my life are fear based!
As I have grown older I have given my younger self grace, recognizing that I was still learning about life (and I like to think I still am!) I also find that I care far less about what others think about me.
I’m only 26 and I try to do most of these. I’m such an old soul 😅 but for real the “unwanted advice is criticism” is so true! My life has changed so much over the last 5 years with graduating college, starting my career, getting married, buying a house, and I just had my daughter 2 months ago. So many people older than me say statements like “Oh just you wait” and give me other unwanted advice or tell me how bad it was for them. When I didn’t ask for it and now I am discouraged because the next season of life I’m looking forward to the older generation is discouraging me from being joyful. I’m trying to take everything with a grain of salt but it still bothers me when people say that.
In the future, if you sense the conversation is going in that direction, just interrupt that person (yes, you can, you are protecting yourself!), and say, "If you don't have anything positive to say, please just don't say anything."
My oldest is 18 and my youngest is 9. Some people really struggle with parenting and it shows in their comments. I have really enjoyed motherhood. Every day there are little joys. I have really enjoyed seeing my kids accomplish stuff small and large. I am sure you will find pleasant joys everyday if you are watching for them. Hugs.
I feel like by the third live birth I was just thankful to take home a baby. I didn’t care what method she came out. I had my yeses and nos figured out and got through it. I’ve been at a reduced capacity since physically and you have helped me sort through the changes gently. Thank you!
My husband and I have separate houses and he has recently become interested in minimalism. I told him to watch you. I told him you are relatable, sincere, practical and realistic. I cracked up when your first item was Lying.
I'm so fascinated by the idea of separate houses. ❤❤❤
@@carriebartolini5206It seems like the ideal situation.
My boyfriend and I have been together for 23 years and we live in separate apartments although they’re very close. It’s so nice!
We see each other almost every day but it’s great to have our own space to relax in when we need it.
@@carriebartolini5206We got married in our 50’s and he still had kids at home. They were used to their house and my business is in my house. Neither house was big enough, or functional enough to accommodate everything. So, here we are 😂. My husband just got a job in a different town so we are about to have 3 😮
@@carriebartolini5206 We got married in our 50’s and he still had kids at home. My business is in my house and neither house was big enough to accommodate everyone and the business. They are just a few blocks away from each other. We went back and forth and made it work. My husband has a new job, in another town, so we’re about to have 3! It’ll work out well. His kids are adults now and will rent the house from him. It’s been a unique situation and we’ve viewed it as an adventure.
I started with those little fancy soaps I would get as gifts. I started using them up and once when my sister noticed, she asked with concern "Why are you using those? Do you need some soap?" I told her no, that I was tired of them just sitting around so I'm putting them to work 😊 I'm also tackling going through shampoos, lotions...I never knew I had so much. So yeah the spending has gone down in that department. thank you for the videos, always appreciated ☺
Awesome video Dawn! Wonderful reminder to forgive ourselves over regrets. I'm sure someone needed to hear the words "I forgive you".
THAT IS BRILLIANT !!! "When there is a bunch of stuff under there, it's like you're sleeping on all of your to dos". That explains the cluttered feeling so well, even when you never see it . I've always hated things under my bed. In fact, I'm trying to find an old fashioned bed whose legs are much higher off the floor, it feels even better!