Still Single? This is What You’re Doing Wrong w/ Stephan Speaks
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- čas přidán 23. 05. 2021
- I got the honor of having a quality convo with my friend Stephan Labossiere-aka Stephan Speaks-who’s an author, speaker and certified relationship coach who helps people heal from their past trauma and improve ALL their relationships (including their relationship with God). We went deep into what men and women need to understand about each other, the right way to heal, and what it really means to be “high value.” I know this episode will encourage you guys!
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Hey, fam! I’m Anthony. I’m fired up about meeting you where you are in a real, relevant, and relatable way. Here on this CZcams channel, we’ll be having honest conversations about finding our authentic selves by living life based on spiritual, financial, and mental freedom. At the age of 19-homeless and deep in debt-I turned my life around by becoming debt-free, and I decided to spend the rest of my life helping people avoid the same money mistakes I made. Today, by the grace of God, that’s what I’m doing every day with AO Enterprise. You can rock with me on Instagram @AnthonyONeal or online at anthonyoneal.com.
Thanks for having me on man, it was a pleasure! ✊
Can you make a video about your opinion on age of getting into or finding a committed relationship? I am currently 35... an above average looking man.. in fact a made a career off of my looks for quite some time.. however, as you can imagine that lead me down the wrong path in life.. dating strippers, or rich women with issues... I got a degree in software but could never find a job, now recently I relocated back to Kansas and moved in with my mom to finish my BSN in nursing with plans on getting my doctorate.. I am graduated and have a job lined up but I just feel like I dropped the ball on the opportunity to find a wife lol.. but seriously.. my mom says I’m good.. that guys can find love much later than women and it’s ok... but I am concerned if I go to school for an additional 3 years how that will play out in my love life.. opinions? Thanks John
I want to start off by saying congrats on pursuing your nursing degree in addition to deciding to further your career. I also want to say how much I respect you as a man that is willingly open and trying to commit and find a wife, he who finds a wife is blessed and highly favored ! I wish you all the best ! I know the hard work with the nursing degree , I’m currently doing my FNP , just wanted to share some positive words your way , good luck !
Thank you so much for your content in it actually help me save my relationship from going down to a spiral so I really appreciate your contacts and everything you believe in God bless your brother
You very deep big dawg...I agree on your take about relationships.... keep up the good work.... much respect✊🏾
Thank you both for all the advice and support.
Facts most woman don't respect a man that's broke. We do Value a man that's trying. We admire a man with a Plan and Vision. 💯
I truly feel like being single now, is actually a sign that we are choosing to do the work. Rather than get in a relationship broken and toxic expecting others to love the parts of us, that we don’t even love. Being single for me is intentional and the struggle is fighting my default of thinking I need to be in relationship or something is wrong. I've never been so happy with myself in my entire life as I've been these last 2.5 years of my single season. I know my Divine counterpart is gonna be as dope as me!
Edit 2023: I honestly am so grateful that a comment I made in my deepest season of healing and growth has been so well received. I focused on myself and my purpose and at the end of 2021 relocated out of the country, met my Divine Person while working doing something I absolutely love! I’m updating to remind y’all not to settle. Become the person you absolutely can’t live without and it’ll be reflected back to you 1000 fold. God and your Ancestors got you, I promise. Much unconditional love ❤️
Yes!! Everything you said was so on point. Im intentionally single & working on me! It’s been 6 years for me now & I wouldn’t be the woman I am today if I would’ve just rushed into relationships
Yes!..I am with you on this statement. 🙌🏾💜
yes sister no bonding in brokeness! Its toxic
True being single is not a sentence, it is a privilege. And it does not make you incomplete but complete, whole, not missing for lacking anything as along as you are willing to allow the Lord to do the work. Tfs
Everything said 💯 I haven’t watched the video, the title was upsetting...why would I feel like I’m doing something wrong if I’m single?
"If the brother isn't financially stable and she is, you are a project to her that she has to mold" I can totally see that
If he's not financially stable, he shouldn't be dating. If neither is healed neither of them should be dating.
@@tanitrarobinson7477 Well said but nowadays these guys who aren't financially stable try to make you feel bad about wanting someone who is in the same place in life. They need to learn that wanting someone who is financially stable like you are isn't being a gold digger.
My mum has tried for 17 years, before giving up traumatised and bitter. My dad was way beneath her. She lacked self-esteem and thought that raising my dad would ensure his absolute loyalty. How wrong she was!
"Everyone has value" amen to that.There are "gurus" on CZcams telling men and women that they have no value because they dont meet a certain worldly standard.Let's be the best version of ourselves and be good humans.We are all valuable in God's eyes.
Yesssss. Everyone has value!!
Amen to that!
Yes, we should start the prayer list with Kevin Samuels.
Exactly !
Amen!
Man, out the gate if AO can say that finding a mate is difficult with all of his success, we gotta realize as singles this generation definitely is up against some different things then our parents and grandparents were and we need some real prayers and work and faith to go with our relationships. Definitely taking this one to heart and seeing where I can grow and change from it...Thanks for sharing.
Hmm, I don't think that your generation is "up against some different things" but rather your expectations are not based in reality. I thank God that my generation (I'm 52) did not have social media when growing up. However, what we were told about graduating from university, buying the big house in the right neighborhood, climbing the corporate ladder= success....Nope. Society told us that this was success, we now know that it's not. Finding a mate for your generation, I feel, is about what your friends and Instagram thinks is successful.
I believe Instagram is a dangerous place to define success. Some people do things to get likes and approval from others based on what's trending at the moment. It's all about what looks good but we don't know what's going on behind the scenes and that relationship may not be all it appears to be.
@@j.flaner8506 I just have to point out, u disagreed that our generation is “up against some different things” then proceeded to explain one of the things we are up against. LMBO! And actually u are correct! (ie if I’m someone whose IG is based in reality & I start dating someone whose IG is clearly fiction/fantasy that’s a problem ur generation didn’t have to deal w/hence something we are up against among other things surround internet, technology, & the dating culture in general b/c everything is a lot different.
@@JustTooMuch10 Aww man, I just saw this! I agree. Guess we all got admit, each generation no matter which one is up against some things...
@@courtneybrack8306 lol absolutely!!
Honestly sometimes it’s not you! Sometimes the person your suppose to be with just isn’t ready! Sometimes it’s not you, sometimes it’s not the correct timing! I’ve healed from so much trauma did therapy for 6 years! I go out, i meet men who lie, who don’t know who they are, who have never figured themselves out, and who have no vision for their life! It’s super sad! But even talking to my brother he said he realizes there way more quality women than their mere are quality men! For me I guard my heart because so many men are just unprepared 🙃😐😩
Well said
PREACH!
THANK YOU! We’re quick to tell people you are what you attract or it’s about the man you chose. No! There really is a lack of qualified candidates.
For real!!! It's been like that for a long time. Very few men care about doing the work. Most men think that money is the only thing they should be bringing to the table and society is enforcing this idea and it's putting too much emotional labor on women to hold everything together in relationships and it's really hurting all of us.
Look at who you are picking?? 6yrs lies?? Facing..
This brother was speaking truth! So many people have married people they never were supposed to be with out of immaturity and desperation.
Props to Stephan for properly presenting and critiquing the "High Value Man" criteria and not beating a straw man as some do. This is how we have a constructive dialogue.
I needed this 40 years ago. I’m a happy whole single today Hallelujah!!
If you don't know where your headed, you don't know who needs to be on the path with you. 👏👏👏
22:45 has me chopping onions. There is nothing more hurtful than being invalidated. As a woman the most important thing is feeling safe in a man's presence and if I'm being dismissed it means I'm not tapping into that. Thank you for that affirmation
Yep! When you become healthy you no longer desire unhealthy things whether it is financial, emotional, or physical. Put this on repeat if necessary.
"If you don't know where you're headed, you don't know who should be on that path with you." A word 👏🏽
The title got me like 🤔. I don’t understand why some ppl feel as if being single equals to that person doing something wrong. But I’m still going to listen...
Same! I hate the title! Like dang being single ain’t a curse sometimes it’s not you it’s just not time to be married.
jackie hill perry calls it the idolatry of marriage. it's rampant in churches and has spilled over and taken hold in our culture. i'm just starting this clip so i hope the content is more substantive than the title.
Facts people act like I have the plague because I'm single with no kids or that men are falling outta trees and I just haven't caught one that's falling 😂😂. I truly have done the work on myself and I continue to do so and I'm available and hopefully I'll meet a man that's available soon enough. Key word is "available " because not everybody that you meet is available in different aspects.
I agree. The single season is a blessing.
I had the same thought when I saw the title.
I just really appreciate the slew of black men that have been on the show 😭 So good to see this mutual trust, respect, wisdom, humor, and humility! This is a new black culture and I’m here for all of it! 👏🏽
Yyaaaaaaazzzzzz 😊
People need to share this on all their social media platforms... this was a gem and very timely! 👊 😎
I agree!!!!
Yaaasss
Right
If you want a relationship u be wise to get rid of your social media it’s poison unless it’s business based your one foot in the dating pool one foot out
Mannnn that segment on logical vs emotional spoke to me. It's a struggle.
I listened to this guy for awhile years ago...and then found out he didn't have a relationship was never married....and I was like Oh know...I used to know it all too!!
Don't quickly merge into the traffic of dating and make a destructive collision more likely. Flow into it patiently, gracefully, and be safe in your relationship lane. Let Christ be your navigational system for the best destination
This is beautiful
Amen!
Amen👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 that’s a word right there
Amen
I can’t wait for Anthony to meet his wife ! Definitely praying for God to send the right woman ! Marriage is a beautiful thing and single isn’t a curse! Keep looking she is out there and she won’t want you to take her to a $500 restaurant 🥴
On paper that sounds nice. Yet in the real world it’s a jungle.
I’m on minute 31, and I am very impressed with this. I’ve never seen these men before, but am really delighted to see black men talking like this! If every black person in America had this level of seriousness in life, we would be the envy of the nation!!!
It is so beautiful to see black men talking like this!!! Thank you, Lord Jesus! I just hope the entire video is as good as the first!
"You're marrying the WRONG person for the WRONG reason" that will preach all by itself ☝️☝️☝️☝️☝️👏👏
I literally cried watching this because there's men out here who get it. Like, WOW you understand exactly what I feel. That was one of the biggest problems with my ex. He was soooo dimissive of my feelings. Most of the feelins I expressed was labeled as "being dramatic". I began to question myself, like so I cannot voice my concerns??? If we cannot openly express our concerns there's mo point of being in the relationship. Thank you for the great content as always!!!
Thank you Anthony and Stephan for sharing. I have a beautiful, Christian daughter who has a degree and a good job. She is debt free. Her father and I teach Dave Ramsey FPU. She would love to have a husband and family, but she is in the waiting room where God is shaping her. I pray for the man who is out there somewhere. I pray for her to be sent God’s man for her life.
haha you sound like my mother!! love it- blessings to you and your family
@Denise McKinney Beautiful testimony!! 🥰
Wow you are a wonderful mother!!!! That was a beautiful prayer for and over your daughters life!
I'm LOVING Anthony's vulnerability and self awareness. Great Convo.
She might not be broke if she's living at home...she might saving a nest egg, working on her wardrobe, educating herself! I live in los angeles where its so expensive in safe areas. Many women live with family.
Or she's taking care of or helping care for an ill parent. Living at home doesn't automatically mean being broke. Some of life's circumstances are definitely justifiable for people being where they are or aren't.
@@ashleygriffin6735 agree
Amen!!!
Yesss, I'm at home and I can afford to live on my own but I am trying to build up a decent savings.
A Man cannot get away with that kind of living arrangement. He’d better have the finished package or else.
I literally shed tears the moment Stephan said to write down all the people that hurt me and write them a letter ☹️
I don't think I've EVER seen AO laugh so genuinely hard lol. That was a "bruh you wild'n" laugh 😂
I just don’t like the term high value man and woman! People who describe themselves as such turn me off
I definitely agree....and I think honestly it's just a trend right now.
@@MahaliaA it’s definitely a trend!!!Also I see plenty of women saying they want a high value man but by definition they are not a high value woman 🙃 and vice versa! I will say I hear more women wanting this than I do men! What interesting times
Right, I remember the first time I heard that term, money was not what came to my mind, and still knowing what it refers to when I hear talking about high value men, based on what they have its really annoying, I feel sorry for people who thinks that based on the money you have is what measures your value.
@@carolinamontano3359 I’m going to start asking people what their definition of a high value man is before I respond
@@andreanicole5353 I think its based on the tangible and then I had to remind myself that some ppl see relationships and marriage as a transaction. So for some...this way of thinking makes perfect sense. 😑🥴
In the New Testament God says for husbands to dwell with their wives with understanding. Around the 25 minute mark when they talk about a woman needing to feel heard by her man and for him to not dismiss what she is saying because it’s based on her emotions I kept thinking of that scripture.
@Ardent Amateur. Wasn’t that beautiful??!!?? 🥰
...I wish we had 2 hours too!! This was excellent.
1. HEAL
2. KNOW WHERE YOU'RE GOING
3. REAL AND SPIRITUAL
This episode confirmed that I am on the right path. I can expound...but!!! Thank you fellas! ❤ Bravo to you both!
I did it! Thank you Anthony!!
So true🎉
I'm just waiting for Anthony to be a meme because the little reactions he has are so funny!
Fr. 😂
He brought life and comedic relief to the interview while still acknowledging that he has work to do in his own life! Made me a subscriber. 👊 😎
@ Queen J
IKR! I love it 🥰!
@@MrDJCue even lickers need healing
HEALTHY. This conversation is everything everyone needs. The talking points were pure perfection. Thank you kings.
Thank you Stephan, FOR EXPLAINING the explicit details OF the "HIGH VALUE" individual.
MOST TIMES people ONLY CARE ABOUT the financial aspect.
Listen!!!! His book “Love After Heartbreak” changed my life!!! While going to therapy in combination with his book and actually getting to the root of the trauma from the past is what changed my mindset as to how I showed up in ALL of my relationships! Great dialogue.
An hour show! Praise ye the LORD! Keep this same energy AO, we are here for it!
You liked the hour show?
@@anthonyoneal Yessssss! I loved the different perspective of the guest. I brought the conversation to my friend as we are both career focused women and even she was like their was some nuggets that were really good points and observations. I would love to see more of these hour shows! I am here for it and appreciate how intentional you are with the guest you have on your show.
@@anthonyoneal YES! Can you please keep it going
@@anthonyoneal Hour-long shows work good for particular guests adept with particular topics. Bring this guy back for another one!
@@anthonyoneal the longer the better. You have a platform and people want to hear. The demand is there!
am 25 never been in a relationship...Awakening happened when i was nearing 24..many questions about myself, breakdowns to breakdowns, etrc. am just so glad i have found u guys here in youtube..because what i need is healing. I got to heal my childhood traumas and am glad im more aware now of myself...i just want to be a good partner if God permits...as of now, im more on building myself like my whole self. Good thing i trust my guts and intuition and tho my friends, relatives, the society are kinda putting pressure on me. am proud of myself that I have this gift of discernment...I know that i am guided.
It’s truly hard to heal fully. Grief is a part of life cycles. I think as we get older it’s important for people to understand that we are not perfect people we are a growing and learning person. We all have flaws and some of us are actually working everyday on ourselves. Reading, working out, eating healthy, praying, believing in God for our paths....We still fall short. Relationships take two people that are willing and want to do the work.... Awesome Interview!!!
I'm 24 mins in... I respect these guys and their life's work. As a single woman who is contemplative about my theology, self-care, and desire for a future partner, I wish these men would address their SINGLENESS stories first in broaching this topic since the title is what it is. "Still single" assumes a negative and can be triggering.
Yes. Financial status is not the only way to find a man. As a woman, I have respected and loved my husband for 38 years. He is a man who is a God chaser and the spiritual leader of our home. I pray for my adult children to find that God chaser for their life.
There’s a lot hurt men and the source of that hurt is usually their mothers
A toxic mother is worse than an absent father.
I met this BEAUTIFULLLLLL brother inside and out. We had SO MUCH in common, so much! Unfortunately he had unresolved emotional traumas that were effecting our friendship. His mother damaged his spirit as a child, it was so unfortunate and sad.
Still miss his spirit but had to let it go for the sake of my peace and focus.
Agreed!!!!
@@choosewisely6705 I experienced the same thing, its such a shame.
Say that! Girl say it again for the people in the back!!!!
Whoooo lord ! Finally , Stephan really saying what a lot of women want men to UNDERSTAND . Just because you don’t understand what she is bringing to your attention doesn’t mean it wrong and that u should dismiss it !Your logic is NOT the the final VERDICT.Lawd have mercy
Jesus Christ!! This felt like a whole sermon! Thanks Stephan
dont the Lord's name in vain
I did it! Made my list, even bought Stephan’s book and completing his full steps! Prayed over my list and letters and taking the steps necessary to be made whole! Truly loved and enjoyed this episode AO
Being single has taught me a lot about myself and it also showed me things I like and disliked about myself also I didn't like the person that I was becoming. So being single has really helped me take the time needed to get to know myself again (if that makes sense) and I can truly say that I'm not who or what I used to be but I absolutely love the woman that I've become. Sure I want a relationship with someone but right now my happiness and freedom is at a all time high and I've never been happier doing things I never had the chance to experience. This was a great conversation💪🏾
Beautiful monologue
This was a GREAT interview!! Stephan was RIGHT about you looking at a man as a child if she was financially stable. Soooooo many gems were dropped here!
I appreciate Anthony's vulnerability and transparency..."I am not healed!" And yes, Mother's issues are REAL! Please have this man do a monthly segment b/c I needed this message!
Many relationship coaches these days feel like they’re running a shtick. Preaching the same general “tips” and not really leading by example ie in healthy marriages. Also seems to be male dominated. Insert... Steve Harvey, Derrick Jaxn, and so on. Would love to see married couples in these roles as relationship coaches. People who can minister from a place of experience past and present, and can also lead by example. Just a thought.
Tony Gaskins
RC Blake's and Toni Gaskins
So true.
Yea bc both AO and Stephan are single...how do they know what they are talking about with this topic? 😆
Good point MsRita and worthy to take into consideration. I agree! I equate it to taking diet and exercise advice from someone who is unhealthy and overweight. It’s obvious they are “not living” what they say or suggest to you. That being said I would seek out married couples that you know who will be open and honest and transparent as they are your best point of reference. As others have stated, Bishop RC Blake is a God send! Tony Gaskins is married and speaks from the place of “a former playa or ladies man.”
God can redeem ANYONE! There’s also Rebecca Lynn Pope if you looking for a female and her husband Kerry Pope and last but not at all least there is Ashley Empowers and Carrington Brown, now these two are definitely a TRUE POWERHOUSE couple in the realm or space of love, marriage and relationships. Please check these people out. Seek and you shall find. God bless.
Great interview, from beginning the end. Thank you for debunking the term "high-value man" because not all women think that way because value doesn't equal character or integrity. Again, great conversation. Money can give access, but cannot give character.
On paper than sounds nice. In the real world the bag is a large part of the requirement of many women.
Monetary value at that!
I think there is value in the lesson that comes with wanting a "high value man" and being a "high value man" and vice versa. Which is, hey, if you want a certain kind of person in your life, then there are things that you will need to compromise and alter about yourself. In a world that tells women, men have to accept you as you are and if he doesn't he can walk, these ideas of high value, can teach the humility of having to compromise and meet someone where they need too. And it's not just about you and what you want out of a partner. But yes, value is culmination of more aspects either than just monetary value.
@@trw4war322 Women want men who can provide especially if they plan on having kids. That doesn't mean 6 figures. Provision includes financial security but it doesn't mean a certain amount. It means you have insurance, you may invest, you have a plan. Men without a personality or emotional intelligence choose women who like them for money because it lessens the amount of work he has to do to keep that woman interested.
This segment was fire. Don't date when your broke
It's people not broke but can't get a date.
I'm broke so I don't date. I just have Netflix and chill
@@genovasquez8361you are overcoming financial challenges and living your best life. Proud of you.❤Praying for your continual success and wealth.
Graduate school has me in debt but rich.😅 I can not explain it. I feel blessed to learn in a field that I love (public health) and where job opportunities are plentiful. I am in my season of prosperity and peace. I am not where I want to be at 40, but To God Be The Glory, I am here; still standing. Broken in spirit but Mended in spirituality.
Anthony your such a humble brother. I wish there were more men like you. You have never put another men down because of where they are. You recognized where you came from 👏🏾 Keep it up.
I listened to this last night and he said some really deep things that hit me really hard. The part about hiding behind career and God. This was timely...I'm making my list today and asking God for healing
Thisssss was powerful! I did this for years.
He was clearly aiming that at women when he should have focused on men since he is a single man himself. Mostly women are in church. Men tend to be at bars, the basketball court or the barbershop.
@@filmadcamp1512 most of his posts and videos are geared towards women. Most relationship coaches tend to speak to women because we are their audience. 🤷🏾♀️. If he does videos and talks to men lower response rate.
@@MsSunrize81 I realize that with anything relationship-based, therapy-based or even family-based there are loads of black women following and supporting and trying to learn how to be "good women". But that's the problem.... since men are supposed to be leaders. Black men generally aren't interested in being better in relationships so women end up sacrificing themselves in the relationship or carrying most of the weight because men feel they don't have to work at it. The woman should be happy just to have him.
But let a content creator start demeaning black women and loads of black men head there in droves. The balance is off. I still say these dudes who "have it together" need to mentor these ashy single men.
@@filmadcamp1512 🤭🤭🤭 I am speechless you have said what I have stated to my friends several times! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾. I HEAR YOU SIS
Also I want add there is PURPOSE in your singleness♥️don’t let society make you feel like something is wrong with you. Yes work on your issues. But I lm a firm believer there is Purpose for this single season I’m in right now🙏🏽
So true! So much of what Stephan Speaks talked about (acknowledging and releasing negative emotions from my BODY) and addressing family imprints (all of those negative things I learned from my parents) positioned me to get married. It took a lot of work, and I am still a work in progress, but the practice of regularly working on MY sh*t) keeps me in a healthy, fulfilling marriage. I never thought I would get married. Marriage TERRIFIED me, and I am so glad my husband and I addressed our fears and DID the thang! (15 years and counting!) Stephan speaks TRUTH! We “balance” each other. HOO LAWD, you betta PREACH!
I had someone ask me "Who do you need to forgive?". I named an ex that hurt me. He told me "No, You need to forgive yourself".
Wow that spoke to me!
Yes, im in the process of forgiving myself!
Stephan is truly preaching. This is gold and God has been saying this to me consistently. And this is confirmation, so thank you so much Anthony and Stephan 🌻
I have watched tens of Stephan's podcasts and video clips but i confess this one is DIFFERENT. DEEP. INSIGHTFUL.
I treasure a relationship where im heard, my concerns are understood. When my feelings or concerns are belittled trivialised and dismissed, it hurts. All i desire right now is for a partner who will be patient enough to LISTEN. Until then, i will work on my rough edges and God's purpose for my life.
Thank you Stephan. 👌
Anthony O'Neal Your laughing and reactions to Stephen's wisdom was killing me.
😂😂😂
Anthony's roars of laughter are giving me jokes😂😂😂.
@Bim Oyediran IKR!!! It’s refreshing! It’s so wonderful to see black men handling business the right way and enjoying themselves!
I literally told my friends yesterday that I want to start dating again. I haven't dated in almost 6 years for various reasons. An although I have been doing some work, I haven't done enough to end up with the RIGHT PERSON. I am not going to rid myself of the idea of dating because it took a while to break down my prison ( aka the walls) to come back around to this idea. Alternatively, I am going to rework my vision (relational, financial etc.) write that who hurt me list ( maybe 2 or 3 letters), focus more on self love, healing, and buy the book. Man, The Table w/ AO has been hitting on every level lately!
We need to get Tony Gaskins on here!
TG crazy 😜 but he keeps it real 💯
I believe Tony will break it DOWN MORE 👀👁JS 🤗
I love to watch men speak on greatness 🥰😍
MY GOD! The amount of times I lost my breath and clinched my pearls in this show. Oooh this was so good!!
I love Stephan Speaks. His books and CZcams content are changing my life. I so appreciate all of the hard work you brothers are doing. To God be the Glory for you both. ❤️
I absolutely LOVE THE BOTH OF YOU, so to see you both speaking on this topic was a double treat!!! Thank you!!!!
A woman has a purpose outside of being a wife and a mother. What he said wasn’t spiritual it was his perspective. To say a woman is out of the will of God (“her foundation isn’t built on God”) for her life if she isn’t married with children is to reduce and marginalized her. What was shared was more “I’m the man in this household!” because I’m treated subhuman outside of the household influenced than based on a solid biblical foundation.
Not even half way through yet and I am loving this already. I have so much respect for you both. Thank you
I will take a dude that's been working his way up at UPS for 8 yrs over a dude that's making 6 figures, driving a Range, and has a BMW, and has 3 baby mommas anyday! Cuz he ain't got no $ left. Women always choose a provider over a handsome dude with a 6 pack, all day.
All day everyday! Pretty Ricky typically comes with a whole lot of unnecessary drama 🎭 If you trying to audition for foolishness then sign up but usually it’s just not worth it!
I wish dudes actually understood this. They’re convinced that women only want money, when the truth is we want someone with loyalty and class.
You’re a very rare breed! Most females would just tag along for the ride. If the bag is hefty they would gladly be side chick number whatever.
High value men don't have several baby mamas 😅, that's drama.
Assuming the guy who has been working at UPS doesn't also have 3 kids. Lol
AO, I’m so glad you brought in Stephan. This is my guy!!!!! Both my guys together, yes!!!!!! Thank you gentlemen ❤️💕❤️💕👍🏾👍🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
Wow listening to Stephen has put chills on my body.. I feel cut open and exposed!!! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Thank you for clarifying that it’s PEOPLE not building on the right path, rather than women or men specifically.
OMG!!! “ He said when a man has had his balls chopped off multiple times, he will try to reattach his balls at the wrong time!” 😂😂😂😂😂 I hollered!!😂😂😂
That’s a lot of pain. Let me tell you. 😳😳😳
@@trw4war322 😂😂😂😂
Off topic, but I faithfully watch your ads because you've given me so much knowledge and wisdom on my debt-free journey. Between me, you, and the lamp post, you're my favorite co-host on the Dave Ramsey podcast 🙌🏾. Thank you for all you do! 💯
On topic, Stephan gives great advice, as well. I've been on his text list for a while. Stephan, thank you for your wisdom & encouragement. 💯
Nailed it in the first few minutes when he broke down how people are mismatching and how women are detaching to pursue what they think they need to do to not be reliant on a man. I have to cheer for that! It's so true. And this episode JUST GOT BETTER from there. Healing....!!!! I love you guys. Thank you for speaking openly and honestly. This is so aluable!
You peeped the game right there,and it is so subtle that it is not often nor easily seen. As a result it is not accepted without a struggle,which is where adversity comes in play to the role of awakening to self awareness, that is not easily overcome without conscientious healing, that's self willed.
That is basically building on a faulty foundation,which can never endure and is not sustainable,cuz it is not constructed on a Godconcept and good faith.
But on premise of fear, lack and scarcity mindset.
Amazing !! I just got the book The Man God Has For You and already started tearing up three pages in… thank you for what you do. Thank you for cherishing mother’s, daughters, sisters and aunts. Learning to honor and be at peace with myself. I’m looking forward to this wisdom and healing 💚
I love AO honesty and how he is always prepared for his interviews.
The logic vs. emotion conversation is soo spot on!!
Definitely deserves more than 30 minutes. I enjoy these insightful conversations. Blessings and joy to you Anthony
Thank you for your transparency. Your honesty helps so many others’ struggles. God Bless
@stefanspeaks just said exactly what I've tried to convey in past relationships. I honestly am blown away that he understands women on this level and can relate. A lot of times I tried to have certain, serious conversations with my ex only to feel dismissed and belittled. I wanted to have open communication and be vulnerable, but often couldn't because of the lack of communication. Great EPISODE!!!
I agree meeting a mate can be difficult. Especially when you're looking for a unique connection. This is a great conversation. I pray you find someone and I really enjoy watching your show!
Absolutely loved this! Let's get to the heart of these matters, right!!!?? So real, raw, and relevat! Thanks, AO and Stephan Speaks! I'm married and learned a TREMENDOUS amount of info today. Def sharing put with my married and single friends and fam!!! 😍👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾👊🏾👊🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾❤❤❤
6 mins into the video and my jaw is on the floor - yessss! So good so far, so many gems/truth/conviction
When I saw these two together, I knew this episode would be good. 👍😀💯
Wow wow wow! I'm over here screaming.....Facts on top of facts! I'm definitely going to be sharing this with everyone!! Thanks AO😎🙌
I Luv you two ! So much value and goodness the both of you bring! Healing is so important and its also a choice that many don't understand exist! GOD BLESS these brothers
Yes feeling dismissed and devalued! I have definitely felt that way. Thank you guys for speaking 🔊on this!
Please understand that we women do NOT like the “project” type of man. Some people think we do because we constantly find ourselves with that type of guy. Here’s the reasons. That guy can often be great at meeting our emotional needs. So helping him in other areas (although embarrassing) we’re willing to do. The black culture perpetuates the idea that black women should “work with a brotha” because no one is perfect. Lastly, people operate in cycles, patterns, and schemas. Even if it’s unhealthy and not what a person wants, they subconsciously do what they know.
If you don't like that type of man how then do you constantly "find yourselves" with that type of guy?
I'm genuinely asking because it doesn't really make sense to me that if you don't like something that you end up with it more often than not anyway.
Also what other areas are you helping him in and how is that embarassing?
@@justinsaunders9358 You constantly find yourself with that type of person, because people emotionally connect with one another in unconscious ways. It is those unconscious traits that you connect with. For example, if grew up in an environment where you were depended on more than a child should be, you may find yourself dating people that constantly need rescuing. You were the child that helped out in the household to the equivalent of a parent. So much so you didn’t really have a childhood. People label you as really responsible. Sounds good right? Well you could have an overdeveloped sense of responsibility. Because of that you constantly find yourself connecting with people that need your help.
To your last question... We help them in ways that connect to finances and that’s embarrassing. Perhaps we’re helping take care of his kids. He’s borrowing our car because he doesn’t own one. We’re always at our house because he doesn’t have his own place. We put together his resume and help him search for a job. We might even give him money. All of this is categorized under “holding my man down”. A concept that is glamorized as a positive trait for women to possess. In action, it’s quite embarrassing and dysfunctional.
@@kimberly329 so the traits and actions that you listed under "holding a man down" are the things that men are expected to do for women. There's no justification for this expectation beyond societal norms and a man being expected to take care of a woman. Why is it ok for men to do these things for women but its embarrassing for the reverse?
@@kimberly329 with regards to the first point, do you find it difficult to set and express boundaries with a partner so that your emotional wellbeing is still protected?
@@justinsaunders9358 Because it’s out of balance and as you stated, it’s not how we’re conditioned. A conditioning that often has religious and spiritual origins. For most people, their spirituality speaks to the core of how they see their world. If I were a man, I personally wouldn’t date a woman that needed my help to this extent but many don’t mind. 🤷🏾♀️
A very insightful convo, AO. One of my favorite that I've heard lately. Also, I just graduated with my Debt Free Degree! Class of 2021!
So THANK YOU for all you do, by getting the word out and educating people like myself. Many Blessings!
@Ali aha CONGRATULATIONS!!!
I did it! I actually made my list months ago but more work to be done. Ty for having him on the show! This was a great combination.
I can listen to this Brother for days and not get bored. God bless 🙌🏼🙏🏼
The logical vs emotional breakdown was good. I have to do better with this.
A woman dragging a man along. A parent child relationship is established. Once that happens It is hard to see him in any other light. Resentment will definately set in expecally when the women gets tired of carrying him
This was amazing!!! I love how Stephan breaks this down and how real he is!!!!
This is one of my favorite interviews because both men are not only intelligent, but clearly spiritual, humble and both want the absolute best for others. That is love.
Omg this interview is what I needed. Writing my “who hurt me “list now. Starting the healing process
Stephan: “You hide behind your work and hide behind God”
Me: *falls out because I’ve done this for years* 🥴🥴🥴🥴
1st time hearing Stephen speak and I’m very impressed by his wisdom and humility
Only 5min in and I already know this is gonna be good and fruitful!! "If you don't know where you're headed, you do not know who needs to be on the path with you"!!! Know who you are, Know your purpose!!