How Hollywood Realtors Talk- Tim Dillon Show Ep. 200

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  • čas přidán 18. 05. 2020
  • Taken from Episode 200: "Knife Fights in Malibu"
    • #200 - Knife Fights In...
    Tim talks about his experience with a Malibu Realtor and how sharp his knife might be.
    Main Channel- / @timdillonshow
    Subscribe to the Patreon: / thetimdillonshow
    Tim J Dillon -
    / timjdillon
    / timjdillon
    Ben Avery -
    / benaveryisgood
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 521

  • @justinlimon6231
    @justinlimon6231 Před 3 lety +1856

    Always thought I was a JRE guy, slowly realizing Im a tim guy!

    • @DeadLoya
      @DeadLoya Před 3 lety +89

      IM ANGRY AND HE’S ANGRY
      LET’S BE ANGRY TOGETHER

    • @domsanchez148
      @domsanchez148 Před 3 lety +160

      Tim is about 10 times funnier than Joe and even more intelligent.

    • @itown4ever
      @itown4ever Před 3 lety +42

      Tim is scary funny - he's a gem

    • @pm7585
      @pm7585 Před 3 lety +75

      I only found Tim through JRE but it took 5 seconds for me to realise this guys hilarious. Been following him ever since, he’s naturally funny and has wit that comes from obvious intelligence. He’s randomly goes on rants funnier than most of the big name comedians comedy specials.
      Still a JRE fan for the guests but you couldn’t pay me to go and watch Joe Rogan’s stand up. Everyone’s got different taste but I just don’t find him the least bit funny

    • @dboyagod
      @dboyagod Před 3 lety +2

      Justin Limon don’t you mean gay

  • @martinlastname8548
    @martinlastname8548 Před 3 lety +622

    ‘I live in Malibu and my son thinks he’s a woman. It’s a real knife fight down here’

    • @mdinhawaii
      @mdinhawaii Před 3 lety +27

      That was easily the most funny thing I've heard all year!

    • @nagsterthegangster3548
      @nagsterthegangster3548 Před 3 lety +9

      Shiit man, yaknow' what they say: "Life in the big city..."

    • @CashanovaXTREME
      @CashanovaXTREME Před 3 lety +5

      🔪 🔪 Malibu 🌴 🌴

    • @Striker50_
      @Striker50_ Před 2 lety +1

      @@nagsterthegangster3548 Malibu has like 30,000 residents 😅

  • @minyjackass8421
    @minyjackass8421 Před 4 lety +440

    License plate says SOLD 😭

    • @EmmaWillmann1
      @EmmaWillmann1 Před 3 lety +8

      🤣🤣🤣

    • @dectate7421
      @dectate7421 Před 3 lety +1

      Genius

    • @mrscruffles801
      @mrscruffles801 Před 4 měsíci +2

      I can easily imagine what kind of person would have that plate and I'm harboring a strong hatred for that person in my head

  • @johndonohue2666
    @johndonohue2666 Před 3 lety +832

    "Porn is more reputable", LOL. Having worked in Real Estate I can wholeheartedly agree.

    • @tier1solutions28
      @tier1solutions28 Před 3 lety +37

      I work in real estate now. The industry is lazy, sleazy, and as reputable as a phone case booth in the mall. The barrier for entry is unbelievably low.

    • @tonyh1345
      @tonyh1345 Před 3 lety +8

      Being a realtor was the most disgusting job I’d ever been a part of.

    • @tier1solutions28
      @tier1solutions28 Před 3 lety +19

      @@tonyh1345 join the medical field LOL. Everything is a racket. It really is

    • @RichSmithson
      @RichSmithson Před 3 lety +21

      @@tonyh1345 Being a Journalist or a Politician would be lower then a Realtor.

    • @chrisweidner4768
      @chrisweidner4768 Před 3 lety +8

      Indeed. My wife started working for a very successful firm. Couldn’t last the week due to the atmosphere of pure lies and greed.

  • @lv5310
    @lv5310 Před 3 lety +460

    I got used to Tim. I used to laugh hysterically. Now I laugh in my head and have a serious face on because he's just telling the truth straight up.

    • @blackliamnesoon9198
      @blackliamnesoon9198 Před 3 lety +14

      That sums it up PERFECTLY!

    • @mattasticmattattack8546
      @mattasticmattattack8546 Před 2 lety +20

      I feel the same, best comedian alive , yes or yes?

    • @rezzbuilds8343
      @rezzbuilds8343 Před 2 lety +9

      I hear you on that I'll sometimes be sitting there for a half an hour and realize I haven't laughed out loud, but certainly have been enjoying every second it's a weird phenomenon

    • @JamesAMusic
      @JamesAMusic Před 2 lety +3

      @@rezzbuilds8343 bro exactly the same here

    • @AnaChiu
      @AnaChiu Před 2 lety +4

      Careful it’s a knife fight out there.

  • @TheRealJDC
    @TheRealJDC Před 3 lety +213

    I like how Tim can create an entire persona from 4 words and the name Tracy...
    *IT'S. A. KNIFE. FIGHT.*

  • @garystarkey6255
    @garystarkey6255 Před 3 lety +762

    we desperately need a t-shirt that says Malibu - Its a real knife fight out here. 😂😂😂

  • @buster326
    @buster326 Před 3 lety +266

    That Irish skin can't handle the California sun.

  • @jordanmiller4648
    @jordanmiller4648 Před 3 lety +107

    "My son thinks he's a woman, its a real knife fight" 🤣

  • @stellar7760
    @stellar7760 Před 4 lety +177

    “A fender bender in Studio City.” 🤣😂

    • @a-love-supremist
      @a-love-supremist Před 4 lety +1

      😂
      We should snuggle together and listen to Tim Dillon podcast

    • @upstairscat87
      @upstairscat87 Před 3 lety +3

      @@a-love-supremist id love to :)

    • @jhart1127
      @jhart1127 Před 3 lety +15

      @@a-love-supremist can we all snuggle up? My husband fucked my sister last christmas.

    • @dataslul
      @dataslul Před 3 lety +5

      I am down for a thumb wrestling match in Highland Park, or a dance off with an old lady in Glassell Park.

  • @Fabian080690
    @Fabian080690 Před 4 lety +280

    A STUNNING ESTATE

    • @binkinbelle
      @binkinbelle Před 3 lety +1

      That was the best - poetic almost

  • @AnimeLover-ct6fz
    @AnimeLover-ct6fz Před rokem +23

    This is still one of my all time favs...I still to this day say, IT'S A REAL KNIFE FIGHT OUT THERE

  • @jimmybacas8003
    @jimmybacas8003 Před 3 lety +315

    Tim just came from a 'no hands' cherry pie eating contest. He won.

    • @OffGridInvestor
      @OffGridInvestor Před 3 lety +13

      Probably 3 times a week if he could. He's not scared of some food.

    • @lilysslimefest
      @lilysslimefest Před 3 lety +3

      😂🤣😅

    • @jflanagan9696
      @jflanagan9696 Před 2 lety +11

      He placed first AND third.

    • @Trapsarentgay133
      @Trapsarentgay133 Před 2 lety

      Then finished off the other contestants food

    • @pearz420
      @pearz420 Před 2 lety +1

      He's Irish, probably happened on the way to his car in the driveway.

  • @CornyBum
    @CornyBum Před 3 lety +152

    Never before have I laughed, let alone with tears in my eyes, from hearing someone say, "knife fight" 50 times.

    • @CornyBum
      @CornyBum Před 3 lety +7

      This was one of my earliest Tim Dillon videos, and I just listened to it again. The first time, I started crying laughing while cleaning the bathroom; three months later, I'm crying laughing again, but while putting groceries away. This home's gonna be a stunning estate someday.

    • @CornyBum
      @CornyBum Před 6 měsíci

      Back 3 years later, still laughing, albeit now missing this old Tim and reminded by that Magic Spoon box of all those unhinged, hilarious ad reads before he had to take this whole fake business thing seriously and let himself be tamed by the sponsors. Pandemic Tim was probably the best Tim.

  • @mattbritzius570
    @mattbritzius570 Před 3 lety +158

    This guy is a goddamned virtuoso.

  • @mattp1914
    @mattp1914 Před 4 lety +121

    Interviewed with a Tracey this week... for real estate 😂😂😂

  • @boyerindustries
    @boyerindustries Před 3 lety +54

    Tim’s monologues on his show are 10x better than his appearances on other shows

    • @DeflatingAtheism
      @DeflatingAtheism Před 2 lety +6

      Yeah, I really feel like this is his true home turf, even beyond his standup.

  • @danhall9197
    @danhall9197 Před 3 lety +56

    I tried showing this video to a roomate who is studying for real estate in LA. She thought you were seriously talking about knives during your sharp knife credit metaphor. She was also concerned about the husband who blew his brains out. I literally had to tell her you were joking.

  • @KKtheDonahem
    @KKtheDonahem Před 4 lety +94

    This kills me every time

  • @Tehstampede
    @Tehstampede Před rokem +10

    It's refreshing to hear such a glowing opinion of realtors

  • @ChristmasCrybaby
    @ChristmasCrybaby Před 4 lety +76

    "Knife fights in the big city"

  • @gpower9572
    @gpower9572 Před 3 lety +53

    Tim needs to do a spoof reality TV show called Malibu Realty.

  • @malluflixofficial
    @malluflixofficial Před 3 lety +33

    Tim gets at his best... when it's about real estate

  • @DavidKa5h
    @DavidKa5h Před 3 lety +27

    His realtor rant is sooo good 😂😂😂

  • @adrianlouw2499
    @adrianlouw2499 Před 4 lety +31

    "Life's a Knife Fight"

  • @pm7585
    @pm7585 Před 3 lety +54

    I’ve watched this so many times. It’s gotta be my favourite Tim clip. It’s funnier than most Netflix comedians specials

  • @timeherenowbe3126
    @timeherenowbe3126 Před 3 lety +26

    I have not listened to one word of this video yet. I just quickly clicked on to remind everyone that it’s a knife fight out there!

  • @seanrodriguez4775
    @seanrodriguez4775 Před 3 lety +4

    What's so funny is this was during his ads. His ads are better than most people's show

  • @Khoros-Mythos
    @Khoros-Mythos Před 2 měsíci +1

    Tim repeatedly screaming "IT'S A GODDAMN KNIFE FIGHT" made me laugh so hard I almost choked on a jolly rancher. Worth it.

  • @doorshotel
    @doorshotel Před 2 lety +5

    This is Tim's finest rant. It's peak Tim. I love this man.

  • @erinbroderick4272
    @erinbroderick4272 Před 3 lety +14

    Lmao- “I’ll take a fender bender in Studio City”

  • @snip3d4less
    @snip3d4less Před 3 lety +82

    Tim u seriously need to do Alex Jones parodies. Even do some with Alex lol

  • @DavidBentley23
    @DavidBentley23 Před 3 lety +33

    Adderall and grapefruit juice

  • @bobbyhill7312
    @bobbyhill7312 Před 4 lety +128

    “ Is your budget under 40 a month ? “

    • @giraffewithtattoos2770
      @giraffewithtattoos2770 Před 3 lety +20

      As a matter of fact, you're damn right it's under 40 per month. WAAAAAY under 40

    • @miketheyunggod2534
      @miketheyunggod2534 Před 3 lety

      😳

    • @matthewchunk3689
      @matthewchunk3689 Před 3 lety +4

      to people with money, all you are is a number. don't like it, find another area code.

    • @2beJT
      @2beJT Před 3 lety +1

      @@matthewchunk3689 and deal with the shitty people who'd stab you for $50

    • @t0ny1189
      @t0ny1189 Před 3 lety +3

      @@2beJT yes there is zero middle ground

  • @StoneyBanks
    @StoneyBanks Před 3 lety +14

    Tim "I've pimped sub-primes in the housing collapse" Dillon
    *Life's a knife fight... bring a gun.

  • @RRRRobbbb
    @RRRRobbbb Před 3 lety +33

    Tim looks like a Chernobyl liquidator.

  • @TheSpaceCowboy454
    @TheSpaceCowboy454 Před 2 lety +4

    2:45 Sam Kinison is smiling in the afterlife

  • @cjgeminitarot6836
    @cjgeminitarot6836 Před 3 lety +46

    Tim we know you hate merch but please put “ITS A KNIFE FIGHT” on a shirt please.

  • @touchmycamerathroughthefence

    Last year when I was working for a prominent jewelry company we were discussing how impractical the software was for sales, when the president said "Oh, it's a BEAR." I had already been considering giving my notice, and that comment helped me make my decision. "It's a knife fight" instantly reminded me of that.

  • @kurtjohansson1265
    @kurtjohansson1265 Před 3 lety +13

    Holy cow I cant breathe. Tim dillion kills

  • @Yabuddy53
    @Yabuddy53 Před 2 lety +3

    “I wish I felt” lmao

  • @angelmarquez6359
    @angelmarquez6359 Před 3 lety +17

    This needs an animated version of the story.

  • @MickyAvStickyHands
    @MickyAvStickyHands Před 3 lety +6

    I'm not ready for an intense altercation with blades.

  • @NotKimiRaikkonen
    @NotKimiRaikkonen Před 3 lety +10

    When I lived in West LA the lady who sold me my home told me she was the girl The Knack wrote "My Sharona" about when she was 14... so, this story checks out.

    • @DavidLLambertmobile
      @DavidLLambertmobile Před 2 lety

      The song: Rosanna is about actress; Rosanna Arquette... 📻

    • @nedrobinson7490
      @nedrobinson7490 Před 10 měsíci

      “Meet a west LA girl, already know what I need to know”…

  • @Piratestarburst
    @Piratestarburst Před 3 lety +21

    This dude is hilarious 😂 Shout out from Australia 👍

  • @mvh4384
    @mvh4384 Před 3 lety +17

    “HAHAhahahaHEHEHAHA I WISH I FELT!!” Best comedian out there, yes or yes!.

  • @JG-zt3ou
    @JG-zt3ou Před 3 lety +11

    One of the funniest rants I’ve ever heard 😂

  • @JohnSandoval_RoyalDeath87
    @JohnSandoval_RoyalDeath87 Před 4 lety +17

    Knife fight out here

  • @yohogan7552
    @yohogan7552 Před 3 lety +6

    This is pure gold

  • @sirmungus7113
    @sirmungus7113 Před 3 lety +1

    I have listened to about all of his podcasts and i think this is my favorite

  • @ryanesposito5780
    @ryanesposito5780 Před 3 lety +2

    I come back to this video every couple of weeks.

  • @HighMarkWater
    @HighMarkWater Před 3 lety +10

    Took a little sip of cold brew....😂

  • @villainessy
    @villainessy Před 3 lety +18

    A dull butter knife used to kill a mother 😂

  • @dakotalenzi7630
    @dakotalenzi7630 Před 2 lety +5

    “My son thinks he’s a woman!…” oh my god this man is a fuckin treasure

  • @jaybrucker1234
    @jaybrucker1234 Před 2 lety +2

    This dude is fucking hilarious, he is Matt Fully the motivational speaker without the motivation. Absolutely fucking amazing way of speaking and communicating with regular folks.

  • @georgechaplin2925
    @georgechaplin2925 Před 3 lety +14

    I’ve never laughed so hard in my life

  • @GaBoyzzz
    @GaBoyzzz Před 3 lety +4

    Love the intensity

  • @kindnessmakesushappy
    @kindnessmakesushappy Před 2 lety +1

    "White Jag with a license plate that says SOLD" 🤣

  • @TheStumped19
    @TheStumped19 Před 3 lety +11

    Dude I've watched this video three nights in a row and cried laughing every fucking time, such a good bit such a good show

    • @villainessy
      @villainessy Před 3 lety

      I watched it the other night and I'm already back. I watched it and a couple other clips too close to falling asleep though and I dreamt about getting a knife fight with AOC as a result....life in the big city

    • @robertbauters
      @robertbauters Před 3 lety

      Same 😂😂

    • @TheStumped19
      @TheStumped19 Před 3 lety

      @@villainessy 🤣🤣 lifes a knife fight, (future tattoo inspiration

  • @paultex11
    @paultex11 Před 3 lety +4

    God I love Tim, flat out best podcast out there

  • @amberdiaz5847
    @amberdiaz5847 Před 3 lety +7

    LMFAO @ that keto cereal he's eating

  • @bigloudandnoisy3601
    @bigloudandnoisy3601 Před 3 lety +3

    I absolutely love the animation and yelling. Huge fan

  • @bizeeyo
    @bizeeyo Před 3 lety +2

    Tim i love you straight from Long Island, keep it up.

    • @DeflatingAtheism
      @DeflatingAtheism Před 2 lety

      I hope you're aware Tim was born and raised in Long Island!

  • @Yikum24
    @Yikum24 Před 3 lety +1

    You finally got me to subscribe with this knife fight you call a show ;P.
    I am a fan now.
    Tim Dillon and JimmyDore my top two favorite comedians.
    Probably for a good minute.
    I mean knife fight.
    A REAL good one!
    I'm also subbed to the main knife fight channel as it should be

  • @sirturd2954
    @sirturd2954 Před 2 lety +2

    Now I gotta find a way to get “Life’s a knife fight” as a yearbook quote.

  • @rd3095
    @rd3095 Před 3 lety +4

    the banter of this man. He's the overseas Nike sweatshop of banter.

  • @micahhayes8770
    @micahhayes8770 Před 2 lety +1

    He said her license plate says " SOLD"! Lol!

  • @FITforaKING777
    @FITforaKING777 Před 8 měsíci +1

    I miss these two together

  • @J03LM1
    @J03LM1 Před 3 lety +2

    This is like one of those radio stations you hear in GTA or something lol

  • @sukhtatla
    @sukhtatla Před 2 lety

    Pure brilliance, bravo!

  • @robbieceez7052
    @robbieceez7052 Před 3 lety +2

    This is my favorite youtube video ever😂😂

  • @divinegon4671
    @divinegon4671 Před 2 lety +2

    This was the funniest thing I’ve heard in a month

  • @KernelColonelCollardGreens

    2:44 "IT'S A KNIFE FIGHT! ITS A GOD DAMN KNIFE FIGHT!"

  • @livefreeprintguns
    @livefreeprintguns Před 2 lety +8

    "Never bring a gun to an open house knife fight." -Tim Dillon (probably)

  • @JB-qq1xz
    @JB-qq1xz Před 3 lety +5

    "I'm coming in with a dull butterknife designed to kill a mother."
    =DDDD

  • @Fan-bl5hw
    @Fan-bl5hw Před 3 lety +1

    Pure Gold!!

  • @warlordy
    @warlordy Před 4 lety +14

    I lost it at 2:50

  • @centaur6ify
    @centaur6ify Před 3 lety +2

    "Somebody KNIFE SOMEBODY!!!" -Tracy(Shout out Bill)

  • @JFrench98
    @JFrench98 Před 2 lety +5

    Tim needs a sketch show that will last one season but it would prob be a good season.

  • @netx421
    @netx421 Před 3 lety +5

    So it's harder to do fake business with Tracy from Malibu rentals

  • @goynwa7110
    @goynwa7110 Před 3 lety +4

    “My son thinks he’s a woman”😂😂😂😂

  • @jeff-tq5qk
    @jeff-tq5qk Před 3 lety +6

    I'd have to email her, tell her I have no credit

  • @seanoreilly1832
    @seanoreilly1832 Před 2 lety +1

    The fact Tim is so sunburnt in this made me laugh without audio

  • @tsriftsal2329
    @tsriftsal2329 Před 2 lety +1

    KnifeFight in Malibou needs its own show

  • @warrenarden1681
    @warrenarden1681 Před 3 lety +2

    “It’s a real knife 🔪 fight”

  • @Spongebathe830
    @Spongebathe830 Před 3 lety +1

    This and the pet spider bit are the best!

  • @kb2x172
    @kb2x172 Před 2 lety

    Yo He is crazy funny!
    Tim Dillion is now in my top 10
    "Its a knife fight!!!" 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

  • @minnesootanice9472
    @minnesootanice9472 Před 3 lety +11

    This had me dying!!!

  • @ztotheu2974
    @ztotheu2974 Před 3 lety +1

    White Jaguar with a license plate that says "SOLD"!

  • @dsmvfl363
    @dsmvfl363 Před rokem

    This is a Tim Dillon classic

  • @dvdragon
    @dvdragon Před 3 lety +9

    Tim Dillion wants to sell you a house made out Percocets and Adderal.

    • @kirsch1616
      @kirsch1616 Před 3 lety +1

      I had that once, ‘‘twas indeed a knife fight till the bitter end

    • @DeflatingAtheism
      @DeflatingAtheism Před 2 lety +1

      "I can sell you this house of Percocets for $40 a month. Yes or yes."

  • @lettherebelamp5102
    @lettherebelamp5102 Před 2 lety +1

    1:22 i will get into maybe a shoving match….. in silver lake😂
    My favorite Tim Dillon line

  • @rich6485
    @rich6485 Před rokem

    Knife fight merch just came in the mail 😎

  • @satioOeinas
    @satioOeinas Před 2 lety

    Tim you are the funniest comedian on the scene, no doubt 💰🙌🏾

  • @jaybrucker1234
    @jaybrucker1234 Před 2 lety +1

    "Hahaha ha I wish I felt" please make merch.

  • @Spl1nter699
    @Spl1nter699 Před 3 lety

    HAha! His red face plays well into the rant. Keep it, Tim! It's only melanoma.

  • @jimmyunderwood13
    @jimmyunderwood13 Před 2 lety

    Tim dillon doesn't need guests. Amazing

  • @enigma-yu4jo
    @enigma-yu4jo Před 2 lety +1

    Lmao the residual effects of this is dangerous. In commercial real estate. It really is a knife 🔪 out here

  • @Lorenzo-Passerini
    @Lorenzo-Passerini Před 3 lety

    He looks like rage from inside out screamin ITS A KNIFE FIGHT😂😂

  • @jayinri6658
    @jayinri6658 Před 3 lety +5

    Someone give this guy a skit show ASAP!!

    • @Koujujutsu
      @Koujujutsu Před 3 lety +3

      He's another one of those guys who'll never have a show because they'll try to get him to play the game--or tell him not to this or that from the rip. And he's not going to play ball even a little bit because that'll erode his style of comedy. So no show. Just like Patrice O'Neal. But Tim will be happy regardless, right where he is.