If You Feel Boring In Conversation - Watch This
Vložit
- čas přidán 4. 06. 2024
- Join Over 13,000 Members At Charisma University:
bit.ly/3umpdd9
Subscribe to Charisma On Command’s CZcams Account:
bit.ly/COC-Subscribe
We’ve all had those moments where we wish we could think of something funny to say, but our mind goes blank. It can be frustrating, especially when you’re talking to someone you really want to like you.
So in today’s video, we’ll go through 6 easy ways you can make people laugh or just love being around you.
⏰TIMESTAMPS⏰
0:00 - Intro
0:12 - #1: Finish someone's incomplete sentence with a joke
1:48 - #2: Surprise them with unexpected absurd answers
2:59 - #3: Pivot to an exaggerated version of your real answer
4:12 - #4: Start saying your positive thoughts out loud
5:09 - #5: Be relentlessly positive
6:34 - #6: Focus on having fun
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
#ChrisHemsworth #ChrisEvans #CharismaOnCommand
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Connect with us further:
Website: www.charismaoncommand.com
Facebook: / charismaoncommand
Instagram: @CharismaOnCommand - Jak na to + styl
![Eminem - Houdini [Official Music Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/22tVWwmTie8/mqdefault.jpg)
One of the best pieces of advice you've given me on the subject of charm is to assume positive intent when a part of the conversation is vague or confusing. The double-edged sword of disarming people that had negative intent and also repairing the situation when a well-meaning person just didn't get the words out right has saved me many times! You guys inspired me to start a self-improvement YT channel that helps people in return for all the help you've given me.
Ina previous video, they mentioned that when someone says something insulting either intentionally or unintentionally, instead of responding defensively, you assume they meant it as a compliment and respond as such. It will cause the other person to either double down and have to elaborate, therefore removing their power, or they'll respond in a more positive manner.
I wish wish people did this more on the internet. I feel like every neutral thing automatically gets interpreted as negative on the internet. It starts so many unnecessary arguments.
@@WanderTheNomad The hell it does!
Where can we find what you're
Doing
I'm genuinely interested
Here’s a piece of advice I learned myself. If you are nervous or have social anxiety about going out with friends or some social event, workout beforehand. Before I go to a job interview I do 40 pushups. When I know that I have a date that night I go for a mile jog around the block then follow up with a shower. The push-up thing is great for last minute prep as it only takes a minute, can be done wearing even a suit, you don’t need to get too sweaty or need to be on the ground. It’s helped every time. Not only does it help me FEEL better. I also feel better about myself as just a little pump can make your muscles just ever so slightly more defined and veiny.
When my heart is racing from anxiety, I have a pit in my stomach, get my heart rate up even more with exercise. Then as my body is coming down from the workout, it slows my heart rate. It’s almost like tricking my body into think my heart was racing from the exercise and not my mind. When my body gets antsy with anxiety and I can’t sit still I let it all out. I get my body physically tired.
This works for me, I’ve been doing it for years. It’s worth a try for anyone who feels this way!
Super cool idea, thanks for sharing! Special Ed teacher here with a bit of a background in Social-Emotional Learning (and a background of anxiety myself). I love learning about self-soothing techniques, this one is new to me but on the surface makes a lot of sense even physiologically. (Sometimes our brains interpret our body sensations as emotions based on context, which we can use to our advantage.)
I'm going to use this for sur, thanks!
Good advice. Thanks for sharing that. I especially like the heart rate trick. Coming down from some cardio is going to feel like a calming slowdown even if you're nervous about something. Plus you've burned off some excess energy.
Thanks 😊
Thanks for coming today...wait a minute...aren't You the guy who was doing pushups in the lobby? ....Hey Susan, please cancel the rest of our interviews 😁
@@Beethoven5th it’s an absolute power move! 😂
Playfulness & positivity combined are insanely charming. Being around a person like that can make you feel so much more relaxed and ready to be yourself, instead of being so serious and logical in every conversation and situation. It's also pretty rare to find those lighthearted people, so if you can cultivate those skills you'll stand out in a great way.
it's so exhausting to be around jokey ppl cause you feel like you always need to be on to match their energy
I solved the "never be boring again" situation years ago. I just started carrying a couple of machetes on me. People never act bored around me. They are always glued to every thing I say and do. My personality is so amazing that people quickly become overwhelmed by it and I've had numerous people actually run away because my personality was too amazing. Good times... good times.
Personally I prefer the suicide vest, it gives you the roguish unpredictable look that no level of charisma will ever give you
Chad.
I missread it as "matches"... Here I was trying to figure out the secret of carrying some matches
@@PeacefulPotato Hello fellow Potatoan! Matches do work, but you have to keep lighting them. While matches are fairly cheap, it turns into an ongoing expense (and a bit of a mess.) Machetes are much better as it is a one time expense. To be fair, two out of my three machetes are just the handle so that little trick can help people limit the investment needed when switching from matches to machetes.
this seems like a quote from andrew tate .
My problem isn't "that's not good enough for me to say". It's "wow, that would be extremely inappropriate for this work meeting I'm in right now"
Dooooo iiiiiit
Frrr
Ellen gave a good example of what not to do. Constantly being judgy and belittling puts people on the defensive or lowers the overall mood. Meanwhile, Chris seemed to realize that everyone in the audience isn't rich and condescending like her, so they'd obviously like to hear him positively talk about his past life.
Being charming is an art that comes natural for some of us and a skill to master for the rest of us. Honestly, I find someone charming when they are incredible listeners because they come off not only charming, but mysterious too. ❤️
If you really want someone to like you, just focus on what they say. Ask follow up questions. That way, you’ll never have to think about a good topic. You just essentially allow the person to talk. Trust me, when someone feels they are being listened and understood after a conversation they will like you.
And if they are the listeners? Someone has to talk;)
Assuming all people are talkers. If someone would adopt that strategy with me, they will have a hard time, cause there would be no conversation.
I would feel interrogated before long.
I once complimented a girl by saying: " you smell really nice". then followed it up with: "you must spend a lot of time in the shower". needless to say, i never heard from her again lol.
That was funny though, go for a girl that would appreciate that
me, a girl who spends a lot of time in the shower
👁👄👁🚿
I have autism (high functioning) and your videos really help me. I feel very lost in social interactions most of the time but your videos make me feel like navigating them isn’t so scary. thank you so much for posting these!
Loser
have they actually helped in practice? did you find yourself fixated fulfilling these
One thing I like a lot about these videos is that they offer actual advice up front with examples before trying to sell you their course. It's not clickbait.
On the other hand, pretty much every one of them has as one or more major points what amounts to "be funny". Yeah, I don't qualify there. The only times I'm funny in a conversation or social situation are accidental, when someone misinterprets something I've said as an insult or sexual or whatever, and I always correct them.
On the third hand, almost all the examples come from celebrity interviews, meaning the people involved tend to be very good looking. Really good looking people tend to have an easier time in social situations to begin with, compared to those of us who are pudgy and not gifted in terms of appearance.
Telling me to be funny is about as useful as telling me to be better looking. Those are things I have very little control over.
I encourage you to have a growth mindset instead of believing that you have little control. I know it’s not easy to improve your personality and looks but it is possible and it is worth it. Your future self will be grateful for you.
What you say is kinda true. I am more optimistic and funny when I'm confident that I'm looking good. But improving looks is doable, you can always be fitter, find a suitable hairstyle and wear fitting, new clothes.
@@arthurvelasquez7450 facts this whole paragraph was him saying he can’t do anything and he has no control lmao come on now
“Margot Robbie is Australian” then shows a New Zealand flag 🇳🇿… always a good gag 🤙
Way to trigger both countries haha
Yeah .... I was trying to work out whether they did this to draw otherwise unnecessary comments, or ... the writers are complete m0r0ns!
I'm charming when I enjoy myself and go into the interaction with ENERGY. My energy tricks; Workout, great music, self-affirmation and inspirational youtube videos and cold showers. At times caffeine.
Cold showers, can’t live without them anymore. I see warm showers as a luxury, for a day off for example. On workdays, it’s cold showers all the way, every day.
I can handle silence very well and it doesn't feel awkward to me at all 🤷♂️ . It doesn't belongs to me if someone thinks I'm boring
Whenever I see a notification from Charisma on Command, my mind instantly goes, Wohoo!! another way to improve myself.
Love the detailed analysis of small things that people take for granted. Breaking down each and every part of a conversation and building on top of that is a great example of 'First Principles'
I would like to point out one area where you can improve is the title of the video. Whenever I watch the video, I would rather click on a video with a positive title rather than a negative one.
For example
1. How to avoid being boring in a conversation
2. How to convert a boring conversation into a fun one
3. Why you should focus on self-amusing in a conversation?
This is my take on this topic. Great content as always
Support From India!!
It's a great lineup of very practical advices. Thank you!
Hi Charlie and Ben, excuse me, let me really appreciate what you guys do, your videos help me a lot and help a lot of people around the world. If you don't mind, I would like to ask you if you can make a full video on how to interact in night environments, be it a bar, a bowling alley or a friend's party. I suffer from social anxiety and these are the environments that cause me the most anxiety, mainly because there are many people in a closed place and because the music is loud. I think it would help a lot of other people.
"Look like Chris Hemsworth in order to never be boring in conversation." Got it.
Well, that kind of negativity really won't help you
It definitely helps but Jack Black and others prove that if you keep up a positive energy and put in effort to be funny, looks will be easily overlooked.
One of the best videos I’ve watched on this topic thank u! x
@7:17 the smallest clip from Not Another Teen Movie. I was wondering when I'd finally see footage from the movie that introduced me to Chris Evans. That film was gold back in the day!
It was amazing that you used a clip from VLDL! Your coolness factor just jumped to a 10 with me!
Great video, definitely will rewatch it.
I needed this 🙃, Great Video !
Damn I loved this video. The trio of Chris is also one of my favorite parts in the MCU
Ha! You added Rhodey's best joke at 3:36 Brilliant!
You can "learn" to be witty, but in reality, you either are or are not... it usually ends up being awkward if you do it all the time. Just be yourself when your around others; if they don't like your REAL personality, then they are not worth being around. People today are trying to "fit in" and be someone they aren't naturally. If we all wanted to be the center of attention or be "funny" by finishing other peoples sentences with a joke, it would be annoying. Now giving other people compliments or encouraging yourself to be a little more outgoing than you normally are, is positive all the way, but be YOU while you are doing it.
What do you think makes you, YOU? Is adding a playful twist to a mundane answer somehow changing who you are intrinsically?
Also, I slightly disagree with you're framing. When in a group of friends and everyone is riffing, no one thinks it is annoying. So it's more what's being said than the fact an attempt at humor was made. I definitely agree not everyone can be as witty as they would like, but I don't see any harm in people wanting to add another tool to their basket, especially if they're not enjoying the results they are getting at the moment.
If someone has a habit that isn't serving them, I don't see any issue in changing it. Also, even though the advice is the same, how it manifests from person to person will change depending on their own humor and experiences. People could take the same advice and apply it in ways that are vastly different.
I understand where you are from# maybe from your experience this is what you learned , but the advice that really doesn't work for me personally is being yourself, it's the most confusing thing to understand , I am 20 ,"? I "don't myself , how can I make people like that .it's too vague.
Hi, thanks so much for this video! I love it whenever you make videos about the Marvel actors. I was hoping you could make another video about Tom Hiddleston, especially because there are a lot of newer interviews from which I feel like we could all learn so much. Thanks!
Humble suggestion: CZcams comments are a nice way to practice everything they say here.
And congrats to the guys running this channel. You are surprisingly insightful, I'm gobbling up all your videos.
Such a great Channel, brilliant.
With me, things come to mind but I just think this too much “should I say that?”
Thank you.
The pivot is the best advice I have gotten
When I always go in a negative aspect. I always make sure to fake it out and be positive about it because it's fun
I was helping two blind women at work today and one of them mentioned that her suitcase was too tightly packed and wasn't happy about it. I replied, "Yeah, my trousers feel the same way." They cackled with laughter. A wee drop of self depracating humour.
I have just started as a fundraiser for which i need good communication and relationship buliding skill. Luckily i havr this channel and unlimited tries and people to practice my relationship building skills with.
Pointers in this video
1. Finish someones incomplete joke
2. Pivot to an exaggerated version of your real answer: say something funny that didn't actually didn't happened.
3. Start saying positive thoughts out loud:
Say something nice compliment be positive
4. Have fun
5. Have confidence
So... How do I have confidence? 🙂
I can just straight up watch an entire video of Chris Evans bursting out laughing :-) that is his signature laugh and it gets me every time.
Love ur content❤
Thank You
A clip from LVDLs "Bored"!! Awesome 😎👍
Always enjoy your videos...
Great video, definitely will rewatch it. I was just thinking about the classic avengers cast! I knew I wasn't the only one lol.
Those guys genuinely seem like they’d be fun to hang with.
If my mind suddenly goes blank in a social situations I remove myself from this situation because it simply means I have nothing more to say and I'm kinda to lazy to try anything else.. sometimes however I stare at the other person silently and see what they do and then I remove myself. Also from experience not everyone has sense of humor. Saying a joke is not always an ice breaker but can be a wall builder. As I lived in different countries I realized there are different types of humor depending on a country and what's acceptable to say as much as there are individual differences. Cracking a joke can be a risky business. Remember Chris Rock at the Oscars...?
Well that was different actually everyone got the joke except for the person who was being joked about in which that person was married nd basically used the “you just gon let that man insult me” on her husband but that’s a whole other rabbit hole
Well this channel also explains that u shouldn't joke on people's insecurities but can make a joke on thier strengths.
Hey Charisma on Command. It would be awesome if you did a podcast with Vanessa van Edwards. It would be interesting to have two charisma experts having a discussion and you would both learn from each other immensely
I love to watch your videos in the morning so it's fresh for me to practice during the day. Can you make an all-encompassing video that we can watch everyday?
Love your content! Can you do a Matthew McConaughey breakdown if possible?! Thanks!
2:45 Margot Robbie is Australia.
Shows New Zealand Flag.
Everyone loves RDJ and understandably so, but Hemsworth seems like the genuine bro of the cast. Like it doesn't seem put on, he just seems like a fun dude to be around, doesn't take himself to seriously. -Pratt as well
Thanks for reminding me how toxic Ellen is.
Bro I relly think you should make a book. I would definitly buy it and I bet a lot of other people would
Chris whas drunkk in half of the clips you used of him lmao. And i love it
I find it interesting and assuming that most of your videos have the marvel cast making the anecdotes. They seem like really great people.
your vids are soooo strong man ;)
Ótimo conteúdo
the fact that they used a clip of Cool Runnings in this video deserves a like and subscribe
I think CoC has a man crush on Pratt, Evans, and Hemsworth 😜
All the Chris'
God bless you guys
The thing is it should come naturaly sponty and you should feel comfortable in the situation otherwise it wont work, even if u practice or try to be someone ur not. Its not something u can train or be prepared for cause it always comes across calculated. Its called humor and charisma, either u have it or not.
Sad but true
great vid
Hey guys can y'all please, please do a video on James Spader's character of Raymond “Red” Reddington from The Blacklist, i mean not only is he a total badass but he's also super smart and confident and doesn't care what others think of him at all, he would be great to do a video on i think.
hey i already do all of these!! but sometimes im too jocky and my friends think im joking when i answer a question seriously ^_^'
2:44 "Australian"
**Shows flag of New Zealand**
I was not expecting to suddenly see Viva la Dirt League but I appreciate suddenly seeing them
Me: That's a very well-trained dog you got there, Are you a dog trainer?
Person: ***Doesn't have a dog***
I love this channel and there’s tons of good advice here. With that said, when someone implements these strategies to an excessive level it can be very off putting.
I’m specifically referring to the humor examples in the early part of the video, like finishing someone’s sentences with a joke or exaggerating comments to an extreme degree. You have to balance that with being present in the moment and actually listening to the person you are interacting with and giving sincere responses.
I know people who talk way too much, are constantly trying to make jokes, most of which are incredibly easy and obvious and you can see them coming from a mile away (no surprise often results in no laugh). These people are horrible listeners and I do not feel a strong connection with them.
So again, not bad advice here, just a reminder that if you overdo it, there’s likely to be a negative effect.
I would love to see you guys make a video on being charismatic like Spike in Cowboy Bebop (original animated version of course). On the off chance you’re seeing this comment please consider that for an upcoming video
I'm seeing content so early this days 😂😂❤❤❤
These videos are hilarious! 😂
Social intelligence is pure instinct.
Not something you can perfect through logical analyzation. However I find this “psychological” talk interesting. So…
Good on ya!
If spreading positive energy is heavy weight boxing then Chris Pratt is prime Mike Tyson. Dude packs a punch and it’s knockout everytime.
Footage from VLDL, I approve SO much lol
I love how you showed Robert Downey when you said rather than being cool
Soon we will see a spin-off series called “Chris”ma on Command
07:58 Note to self: "CoC approves nailing at work."
Say no more!
Could you make a video about Taika Waititi? He's very funny and charismatic.
I am not witty or quick thinking enough to come up with little jokes on the fly. Are there mental exercises that can help with that or ways to slowly incorporate them into everyday conversation?
So all I have to do is change my name to Chris and I'll have a lot of charisma?
I mean there's a Chris hidden in CHaRISma👀...so obviously 😂
@@cinemetv9168 Now it all makes sense. 😲
Embrace the silence.
My chace! My chace to make them laugh!
Oh nice! Just realized I learned nothing new from this vid and totally do all these things super naturally 😎
and then I woke up 😒
Good video
2:45 "Margaret Robbie is Australian" *Shows New Zealand Flag*
So this video is basically the CHRISes being not boring in conversations.
Wow, the part about assuming people know you like them is crazy. I assume that all the time but I’m really not projecting it I think.
Any advice for people who sees that you are positive and they will relentlessly work to bring you down?
Ask them to consider the other perspective (a light example: "Ugh, it's raining again", "How could we have a garden without the rain?" or "I heard there's a drought in KS!")
Ignore/Avoid them (avoid toxic people)
Lads, I need help… I am setting up a event. A charity event. Now, what I need help with is, interacting with dozens of people, so... I want to treat each individual that comes up to me in a well lit positive regard, how does one give great attention and joy to one person and in a matter of a second you meet another guy, and then another guy.
How can one mange to be super respectful and awesome to each individual, and give decent time to them?
What movie is the clip with Tom Hanks in a restaurant?
Charisma On Demand advice summed up in three words: Be Other People.
Honestly my most charismatic moments are when I’m just being goofy af 😂
I love how they're literally all the Marvel Chrisses
Try this: If you want to charm people, just change your name to Chris. 6:40-6:47
please make a video about Raymond reddington
Yeah the 3 Chris' of the mcu have had a lot to offer in terms of charisma.
“Margot Robbie is Australian”
*shows New Zealand’s flag*
2:45 bro this flag that is put on the vidoe is New Zealnd's. It is one of those flags that feels like as if it was done on purpose to make people confused
I think I'm just gonna name my child Chris. Thanks for the tips tho
Roommate, I think you mean van-mate 😂😂😂
You put in a clip from Viva la dirt league lol
2:46 "Margot Robbie is Australian", puts New Zealand flag
what if I dont want people to want to be around me but at the same time don't want them to hate me either?