Why am I Such a Mess?
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- čas přidán 26. 09. 2022
- #Podcast Why am I Such a Mess? Am I being too hard on myself? Are we all struggling to find a new normal or the old normal? Is everyone else as messed up as I am? #mentalhealth
Please note I am not a mental health professsional and videos are not a repladement for counseling. Everything here is for educational purposes.
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It's kind of like the quote, "And now that you don't have to be perfect, you can be good." (John Steinbeck). It's freeing...
I understand feeling a mess! I have been there many times! I have fallen under shame and guilt till I was miserable beyond belief with the wrong thoughts floating through my mind.
I have also felt that way when someone else complains, thinking it was my fault...
BUT....not now, not anymore. I am also human and I and not responsible for someone else's insecurities or their explosions !
This very last two days I went through this struggle but I clawed my way to the top and honestly felt empowered, as I was choosing how to feel, when to speak and when not to speak etc... I became the one in control and though I had to fight to stay there it felt good!
Things are a bit better and I personally could not do it without God's help! I am going to need to use grace for others to continue on but I have hope and I am deciding how to feel and how to handle things( while praying for wisdom).
I hope this makes sense. Instead of the blame and shame that was thrown at me I am standing up and saying NO, that's not true and if whoever is involved doesn't like it that's too damn bad!
So, I also learned from my dear sister that letting go is easier than you think. She said you could stand on a balcony with a small ball in your hand. How do you get rid of the ball?
You just open your hand and Let Go! It's that simple and this has greatly eased my savage soul!
Dear Melissa and anyone else feeling this way, including me at times, just freaking stop trying to fix yourself and celebrate Who YOU Are!
Love and prayers to all!
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Thank you for sharing so truthfully. We get to be human. ❤️
You've touched on so many important things that I'm not sure I can comment on everything, but here is a go:
1. Absolutely let to. Guilt and shame are the two horses that will get you nowhere. Giving yourself the right to fail is not making excuses. Are you binge eating because you're feeling guilty about binge eating? You know this is something that you can work with on therapy. Maybe not overcome entirely but focus on:)
2. You are very true about the social media messing up our view of the world. I mean there will always politicians, celebrities and, I don't know, rich people. But now it seems that every single person except us falls into one of those categories. Don't let the sparkly world fool you, you know where the truth is.
3. It seems that you are overthinking it a little, but maybe that's how your brain works. Maybe your are neurodivergent yourself? Maybe you are focused too much on understanding how life works instead of simply living? That's the thought that came across my mind.
That’s actually a great point about “was life actually better before the pandemic?” Honestly for me, I don’t think it was. That’s an interesting thing to think about
Melissa have you read 'broken open' by Elizabeth lesser? I think you would like it. a line in there resonates with what you are saying its a line that really impacted me she says 'we are all just bozos on the bus" I loved this. I suspect you are pretty amazing in you very human human ness ❤
There is a great essay by Albert Camus about Sisyphus. He says that the poor guy triumphs over the gods' punishment as he never quits. The gods thought they are going to make him mad and beg for the punishment to end. But Sisyphus is like: nah fine, I'll go along with the task even though I can never succeed. This way the gods actually failed in punishing him and Sisyphus turned out stronger and smarter than all the gods combined. Indeed, realizing that no matter what you do you cannot win is very liberating. But this doesn't mean you need to quit. You won't win the race but you can admire the view on the way. Happiness isn't something that will happen to you on the finish line. It could happen with every other step (if you're happy with every single step it can mean you have a brain tumor and you should see a doctor...) So that's that. Hang in there Melissa, with all the resources external and internal you can get your hands on. Looking forward to seeing you here again 🙂
Love this so much!!!! Thank you for the perspective!
As someone who works for themselves making pet treats/clothing/ect and pet sitting people think I have my stuff together. HAHAH, NO...messy home can atone to that. I am so fried still from the "new normal" whatever that is I forgot to file my second quarter taxes (I did now and to my credit I was insane busy and it slipped my mind). But, I have not seen my accountant in person since 2000. I beat myself up all the dang time. Even if people tell me not to be so hard on myself. Put, easy said than done sadly. So, I get it fully.
💙💙
Omg I just found you …. I’m 54 in November, also fighting binge eating disorder, I’m a special needs mama and also a doll collector. I hear you. I am so so so glad I found you Melissa. I also work things out in my mouth as I speak. ❤️🥰
i lost my grandma since you last posted and ive been waiting for one of your get better together videos because when she was sick, they helped me a lot so thank you for continuing to post on this channel. i appreciate all your content, especially dolls, but these videos help me wonders to not feel alone in struggles.
These videos are so real and helpful! I hope you continue to do them
This HUMANITY you feel is a wonderful realization that yes, we are all just that, Humans!
Your candid vulnerability with us, and grace towards yourself, really show your (super power) bravery.
There is no magical way to make it all perfect. Being present and dealing with life at every moment IS having "our shit together", even if it looks different than someone else's, we are each doing it the best way we can, for ourselves.
I am clear that perfection is an illusion of our human condition. We should have this same grace in being patient, kind, loving and true to ourselves, always! Brene ain't got nothing on you girrlllll!!!! This is one of your best videos yet!
(By the way, no shade intended, I love me some B-Brown ; )
Gracias Melissa!
I'm okay with not being okay. It's part of the human condition! BTW, if no one's noticed... you can't be messing up too bad... Give yourself a break, girl.
I have Anxiety so bad I barely leave my house. I just want to be able to go places without having a panic attack. I have been seeing a psychiatrist for years for depression and severe anxiety disorder and on medicines.
Thank you so very much for this, I totally needed this right now 🙏💕 you always know what to say Melissa
OMG thank you so much for liking my comment, I have watched your videos since way back in the day when you used to be a duo, I admire you so much Melissa, you help SO many people and you are truly so charismatic, bright, strong and lovable! please never ever change 🥰🥰
Love you so much Melissa 😊🤩🌟!!!! I always listen all of your videos for months and years 🌟😉!!!! Thank you very much for sharing 🙏☺️!!!!
👋🏻🖤💜
Have you ever read the book called then4 agreements? It helped me quite a bit.
This is summer I was so scared I couldn't move some how I knew exactly what to do Halloween is the medicine I needed to distract me from the political horror that happened and give me the courage to move and I am following God and Jesus but not the church because the church is not supposed to call for violence and hate and try to over throw the government I am scared but I have to function and my advice when things like this happen find your favorite holiday and start creating your safe zone make a intire room your favorite holiday all year round or any thing that comforts you into a room as your safe zone we need tv channels where political advertisements are not allowed for mental health I think arguments about monster high and the little mermaid are not good on top of that fear I went a little crazy because online is where I was trying to avoid political advertisements on TV but that didn't help my mental state at all
!! We need a CZcams app for mental health that keeps the arguments out