how to: OVERCOME NEGATIVE PATTERNS
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- čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
- HOW YOUR CHILDHOOD EFFECTS YOUR ADULT RELATIONSHIPS
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“What happened in your past is not your fault. It had nothing to do with you.” Now I’m crying.
Dear Alexa that part hit me hard !
Check out the 4 Agreements Book. Its a game changer. There are 4 of them. Its a simple way to remember never take anything personally.
@@1love847 please send a link, is that a book? Sounds interesting
Christinah Blaai 4 agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
that book is amazing
"Do not accept lower because your parents set the bar that low" ❤️
Ella Sarol DEEP
Whew girl I needed this. Forgiveness is so tough.
I'm James Inman and I approve this comment 👍
Re-parenting yourself is gold! What I’ve been doing is looking at myself in the mirror and seeing my inner child then I talk to her by looking at myself in the mirror. I am the grown up and I speak to my inner child in the mirror by calling out my childhood name and saying all the things I wish I heard as a child. ❣️
Lovely
I do that daily..... I thought it was a mental condition...
😢😢😢😢😢❤❤❤❤❤that is truly beautiful!!
Oh wow...that just might work!!!
I’m starting this.
Stable people do not always come from stable homes.
Suzanne Doke that’s why I made sure to state “with exceptions”
I did not hear it like that. There are exceptions and she mentions that. But the majority of stable people, yes they do come from stable homes. Most people in unstable homes do not take the more narrow path of becoming better. Don’t live your life in offense. She even gave you her story of her home life which was anything but stable, now look at this woman. She has changed MY life through her growth. This woman is fulfilling her purpose in this life and will be at the right hand of God. Will you?
Unstable people come from unstable homes. And the other way around is generally true too but there are exeptions ofcourse.
She said there are exceptions
That's why she said with exceptions.
“no man is going to come and make me whole” amen! I can listen to you talk all day
A cheating man is not my portion . Speaking this into existence
Absolutely love this
The brain works in positives. May I suggest "Healthy, wise, kind men are my portion." Or whatever you do want to speak life into :)
Grace Lewis I was just about to comment this too! Peace and love my sisters ✌🏼
@@gracelewis6071 spot on, totally agree on this. We create our own perception and perception is reality
Lorraine Natasha LOUD AND CLEAR
You say you"re "sexually Liberated" but YOU'RE HURT... That touched me so deep down inside, I used to be that very same girl.
Venus Chappie right?? damn.
Yes me too. Until I had a child with a highly narcissistic individual. Now I’m so done with people.
Abena C don’t stop your shine for ANYONE! Narcs can’t be helped unless they want to be. We will be the best we can be for our babies! ✌🏾❤️
I felt that !!!!
“Self love is the foundation and love is the icing on the cake” is one of the most beautiful and true things ive ever heard!
¿Qué parte del remix de "Don Don" te gusto más? 🤔
➡️ What part of the "Don Don" remix did you like most?
“Your type is dysfunctional” well damn Breeny, I wasnt prepared to be exposed like that 🙃
4_10October same🤣😭😭😭
Omg you had me in tears. When you said "Forgive your parents" 😭😭😭😭 I’ve been soo angry with my mom for so many years because of the choices she made that has affected my life in the most destructive way... thank you for this video.
Forgive her! And if you are religious, pray for her. I am in the same situation and I can guarantee she needs it as much as you do. I hope you and your mom can one day come together in love, peace, and kindness. 🙏❤️
You’re speaking my life ....... alone, isolated, introverted , followed by being severely bullied, sexually abused. These things did attracted the wrong kinds of friends , narcs, sociopaths etc , and behaviours that didn’t serve me . I recently came back to my faith ,. Crying watching this. Because I’ve reached a certain age now . No husband for me by now , looks like a life of celibacy, which is fine. Yes our happiness is an inside job . All of us who have been through these things , and don’t see our own value , we are still here .
Love your channel 💓💓💓💓
Sending love and blessings your way💜
You probably need the alone time, to focus on yourself and heal to avoid repetition.
If you need a husband he ll show up at the right time.
Goodluck healing Sis....
Me too. I am about to accept that living single and alone is my destiny
I wish you greatness, you are loved, God is always there for you 🖤
I can totally relate to what you experienced in life..God Bless and keep you!! 😌🙌🏾🙏🏾
Can’t wait to heal my inner child and be a better adult
this title alone is coming for my NECK
sorry I don't understand what this means?
nick smith 😂😂😂
nick smith lol basically I feel attacked because it’s a direct message to my life... lol hope that helps
@@muralmica aah ok got you, I understand now it directly resonates with your life
i just cried laughing at this!
Your self awareness & the lessons you've learnt over the years & are now passing on is genuinely so beautiful & admirable. Thank you for sharing girl x
YourGirlSudanny - Thank you ♥️
Dysfunctional parents breed broken kids. Turn your pain into passion and your wounds into wisdom. I have a father , but he isn’t my dad. I live with my dads ex wife - my caretaker not really a mum.
She's your mum. She may not be your "Mother" but if she takes care of you and actually cares for you, that can be a better situation than being with the mother. It's how your treated rather than the title that is important
@@Belihoney I don't think she cares. There's more to this story, in the same way, there are two sides to the coin. It's larger than a "simple" divorce. Just because someone is family, doesn't mean they have the "best" intentions for you. The statement "actually cares for you", yes she does fulfill her parenting duties, but her dharma (the eternal and inherent nature of reality, regarded in Hinduism as a cosmic law underlying right behavior and social order) duties ... never did.
Children are not a distraction from more important work. They are the most important work.
“We come into this world alone and we come out of this world alone” This changed my life and perspective. It hit me like a tonne of bricks in one of your other videos and also relieved me. Thank you Breeny you are a blessing to this generation I look forward to your future videos.
Thats why women we all need to Love and understand each other. We can help one another
We all have daddy issues in some way shape or form 😕
Rachel Nicole I have Mommy issues and I feel like that hits harder.
@@ItsKimmyAlexandra same
Dear Alexa what is Dady iseus / mommy iseus ?
All kinds of damn issues, who else? Say IIII
It’s weird but a good dad can make dealing with men as a romantic prospect tricky. I had a wonderful father figure but he passed away in my late teens. We were family and he took good care of me, but he was also just a wonderful gentleman. Very smart, kind, funny, well-mannered and debonair...all my girlfriends from school adored him. We also shared intellectual compatibility and enjoyed each other’s company. We were best friends.
I think after his passing I assumed it was IMPOSSIBLE to meet a boyfriend or husband with all or some of his great qualities. So I really lowered the bar in who I dated. I married an unsuitable man and the marriage failed for obvious reasons.
I get it now. If you are accustomed to being treated lovingly and respectfully, provided with a stable peaceful home, and enjoying good rapport... it’s NOT spoiled or unrealistic to require similar treatment from a life partner. I don’t expect a second dad, but I can’t accept inconsistency or abusive treatment from my husband.
"We have to be people that overcome , rise and go above and beyond what our parents did." Say it louder for the people in the back!!!
For some women who have suffered through rape or violation from an older person who you trusted it can really distort future relationships. I pray we all get healing. I need it.
Amen sis,u ain't alone
Thank you for this! I didn’t realize how many things I was doing out of spite of childhood trauma until this past year. I’m still trying to break some of those bad habits and generational curses. I suggest every young woman, especially us black women to dig into your childhood and find out what bad habits you’re carrying from it! ♥️
“What happened in your past was not your fault” thank you!
Breeny.
Sometimes I get sucked into old patterns and I immediately play your videos and voila- I’m back.
Thank you.
✨
Oh yeah me too
Totally agree thank you Breeny
"You're type is dysfunctional" Sadly, this is big facts.
This is a year of rebirth for me. After my mom passed away 6 months ago, I was thrown into a whole new level of maturity. I'm 34 and realizing how blind I was throughout my 20s. It's refreshing to hear a story that I can relate to. :-)
Ebony R. B. - sending love ♥️
14:28 is definitely facts. Once you start to heal yourself and acknowledge God in all your ways he will not only direct your path, but bless you and show you the truth as to why life happened the way it did. I literally just recorded how my life has improved without no social media (besides youtube) for over two years because I want to help others heal and share the benefits
are you a psychic? like seriously every video comes at a time where i need to hear your exact words..you’re magical Breeny.
ps : yes i cried.
Thank you Breeny
Love,
Every emotionally damaged QUEEN
Zuri Reynolds Thanks for this
“Reject you before you reject me”-me af🤯
I really felt that part on reinforcement and how the lack of love and affection at home can lead to deeper issues. I feel like this is the reason why I tend to be emotionally unavailable. Breeny please do a video on emotional unavailable people😭
"forgive your parents" that broke meeeee they really didnt know any better... i am crying.. but i do appreciate the release.
13:00 “what happened to you in your past was not your fault. It had nothing to do with you”...thank you❤️
I really needed to hear this. Never knew how my childhood effected my adulthood. Makes a lot of sense and breaks my heart. 💔😭 I don't even know where to start to heal.
Yaya B - Start with acceptance. Sending virtual hugs 🤗
@@BreenyLee Thank you sis! I appreciate you and the videos you make.
Did someone say self sabotage...? 😰 currently, I am in a loving, healthy, secure relationship. However, I am my own enemy. I was doing great with my partner for almost a year and now I feel like I am crashing and slowly burning... I have plenty of childhood trauma in different areas which I’ve been learning to heal from. These hinder me in my relationship. It’s a bit easier to deal with it on my own but now I have a beautiful partner who is INCREDIBLY understanding and patient with me, which makes me feel even worse. 😖 You see what I mean here? Anybody else?!
Thank you for providing this wonderful content and keeping it 💯 with us. Sending love and light.
Hoping you get a podcast🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾
i relate to insecure coming from lack of affirmation and so many people don‘t understand how much it impacted me because they always say „oh but you weren‘t abused you should be fine.“
"Forgive your parents, because they didnt know better, if they could they would. They didnt know how" .
Thank you so much for sharing this, I love this and really needed to hear this.
For years I blamed myself and my parents, but now I know there is no one to blame.
This is really hard to take in . I admire you for having so much courage to talk about childhood trauma. I don’t know you personally , but I can resonate with everything. Much love from
📍 San Francisco , CA
I had a childhood that shaped me for adulthood before I was even one 😑 finally embraced it so that I can move another step in life without thinking of how much I've been through 😐it's all thanks to God😇🙏
that’s right😇😇😇😇🙏🙏🙏🙏
Sometimes I click on your videos thinking it may have nothing to do with me, then I watch it and it has everything to do with me. God brought me here, thank you so much!
I didn't know how deep I had buried my past until this video. I've cried my eyes out 😭😢... Thank you so much Breeny for being our big sister and wanting us to be the best us we could be. I love you
You are speaking the whole truth and nothing but the truth.
Breeny, you are a real life angel! Thank you for sharing your old soul wisdom with the world. Lets all heal and grow together :)
Julia J 💋♥️
Haven't seen my dad since I was 14, and now at 20 I still find myself attracted to guys who end up leaving me out of nowhere. Working on loving myself and living for my inner child
I’ve known my childhood has affected my adult life now for a few years. The thing that is most difficult for me is using my knowledge from books and videos and actually changing. I still haven’t been able to fully heal from it but it gets better over time ❤️ don’t lose hope people
It’s sad but it’s the truth, I’m filled with so much anger I cry when I speak about it but this therapy is gonna give me the help n closure I need I’m hopeful
Nothing else excites me like your update!!!!
Thank you for your encouraging words. It took me years to acknowledge, accept, and overcome my childhood/teenage trauma. In my mid 20s I realized that I had a choice between being bitter about the past or forgive. I've seen what years of resentment and bitterness can do to people and I don't want to be like that. I forgive but won't forget the ugliness in certain people's hearts.
Wow, literally feel like we lived the same life
I’m in therapy right now for this topic, my childhood has affected n is still affecting my adulthood and I’m currently in therapy and reading Breaking the spirit of Rejection recommended by my therapist, it’s sad but it’s true
I’ve had a similar childhood my mother was so busy looking after my disabled brother and my dad was abusive wasn’t there much think this is why I seek male attention and lower my standards. Thank you Breeny for your kind words💞
Dealing with loneliness in winter while overcoming negative patterns :P
Wow wow wow wow! This girl is what I call reflective and outspoken. Breeny you’re literally my life coach. May god bless and protect you and yours. Thank you really. I’m gonna forgive my dad and re-parent myself!
I was sexually abused by 6 men in my life I’m 21 now. I’m still trying to heal for it. It happened when I was just a 6 year old to my teenage. I’m glad that I had my spiritual awakening and I can see things on a different perspective but still it’s disturbing when I get this thoughts
Happiness is an inside job, people can only add to what you already have and feel. Teach us queen ♥️
Love your videos. You feel like my big sister giving me her wisedom when I need it. Love 💕
I believe she’s a goddess
🦋Patience is hard but you have to trust Gods timetable
I literally argued with grown ass women (late 40s early 50s) about how your upbringing affects your dating decision in adulthood. Ppl seriously underestimate the affect your childhood has throughout your lifespan.
you are really anointed. I don't even know if you know that but you are.
Thank you Breeny! This video is exactly what I needed in order to realise that things what happened in the past are not my fault and neither from anyone else. I spent a lot of time in the hospital in my childhood and my parents took good care of me, but I realise now that I needed their support by telling me that I am strong enough and responsible of my life and that everything will be fine. The trauma of the hospital is still affecting me as a grown up woman but I realise that no matter how hard the situation is, God is here to protect and that everything is going to be fine:)
"that's not who you are anymore" I'm not gonna lie, so many things changed since then but I stull used to feel like that's me, but it's not. Thank you ❤️
I have such a similar story as you and probably many other women. I pray we all get through our childhood trauma. The wounds and the trauma wasn’t our fault but the healing is OUR responsibility. Thank you so much for this video 🙏🏾 Love & Light ✨
🦋so true, you never know what a person has been through until you walk a mile in their shoes
Your wisdom is memorizing
This was beautiful...I’m 43 years old and I finally have the time to work on myself. I’m a mother of 3 so I was always busy and didn’t have the time to heal my past wounds and childhood trauma. Thank you for sharing your story and giving us this valuable information to start the healing process.
This video is exactly what I needed. My dad grew up with no one telling him he is loved and cared for or praising him for being good so naturally he raised my siblings and I like that. On the other hand my mom grew up with her parents always telling her she is loved and actively showing interest in her. This video brought tears to my eyes especially when you said that genuine love can melt a cold heart and that's exactly what happened with my dad over time. He never told us he loved us or genuinely took interest in us but we still did. All my siblings and I ever wanted from him is for him to show he cared or say that he cared and take interest in us and he has been doing that although now we're older (im 19) he now says he cares about us and loves us and wants to get to know us. I love your videos and I will definitely be watching more of them.
I can't thank you enough for this. I'm a student and to be completely honest I'm really self insecure and my self esteem is so low, that sometimes I can't even study because I know I'll fail every test. But I'll try I guess. Thank you breeny, you make me feel like I have someone who believes in me💜
Seriously you are like my big sister , God Bless you ❤️ I didn’t even know you were a believer ... makes it that much sweeter 🙏🏾😩
Amazing how I was thinking of this last night about how growing up in a toxic household made me feel like I am owed lovey dovey romantic film type of love. Many failed attempts of being in a real relationship and yet I'd always get the "you're a really good woman but" that line became tedious so God led me to 2 corinthians 12:9-10 and it's almost like a weight was lifted off my shoulders. I got my notebook started studying that verse and I feel its the first step to healing... I believe in my last relationship "I had to lose him to love myself" I'm going to restart my celibacy journey, going to work on my relationship with God and incorporate fasting and get rid of the negative emotions that drag me to my past , soul ties, acenstor ties etc... God is good and he puts you in bad situations because he has a divine purpose for you 🙌🏾♥️thanks for the video it's like a double confirmation of God looking out for me
I always was just a silent subscriber but now i have to say that you have helped me so much with your videos. You inspires me so much and i want to thank you !!
I needed this video! Thank you so much.
Therapy has been a blessing for me. Mine is a big blur too because I tried to forget so much. I didn’t understand a lot when I was younger but within these three years I’ve been piecing A LOT together. I can relate to this completely! I just posted a video on my detachment journey. This video is motivating me to talk deeper about things on my channel. Hyper sexuality is definitely related to being sexually abused at a younger age and not having that emotional support or place to go to as a child definitely shows in the way you function as an adulthood. . . Omg I can’t believe how much I relate to this the more you go into things.
I'm so ready for Therapy don't wanna wait til the new years.
Listen, if you can start sooner than later, please do!
No lie Breeny this hit my heart like my core. Thank you loved this
Love, you don't know how much you've helped me to grow as a person by doing these videos. I'm subscribing right away! xx
“I am already whole” is such a powerful statement/affirmation. Thank you for emphasizing this.
Who are the 4 haters who disliked this video?!
That's exactly who they are "Haters"!!
You have the power of speech and word Sister! Blessings in Jesus Name! Thank you!
Ever since I discovered u I've been binge watching ur videos! Would love a video where u talk about how to not self-sabatoge in relationships. I met someone who's genuine but b/c I've seen and experienced toxic guys in my life, I think the worst of my new guy at times and I overthink and make myself believe he doesn't have my best interest. I have a tendency to close up and he tries to get me out of that shell and I don't want to keep closing up on a potentially good opportunity w/ someone
The big sister I never had and have always wished to have and now I’ve found one - Breeny Lee! 👑❤️ Thank God for you and thank you for such powerful words! You are changing lives!
Psychology and psychiatry may help to understand some of these issues but in terms of overcoming negative behavioural patterns it's fasting and prayer.
This is what I needed more than ever
Wowwww I absolutely love my mother but when Breeny Lee said this at 15:35 I instantly remembered when my mum told me how it’s naive and dumb to expect your husband to never cheat on you and it did rub me the wrong way like it shouldn’t be naive to expect respect from my significant other for our relationship it really almost made me think I was being naive and it is better to expect it to not be dissapointed but I realise no ! It’s not .
This hit my soul. I too was molested at a very young age and my parents were both residential school survivors so childhood was horrific but therapy and prayer have helped so much! Thank you for putting yourself out here and letting us know we aren't alone even as adults in this specific struggle xoxo
My husband is so cold its because his mother is a narcissist
And i am struggeling to get him Open up and speek about his feelings
i See that he enjoys my Love but he struggles showing his Love back
What can i do girl?
I Love him so much and he is such a good men i want to help him heal
Is marriage therapy an option or individual therapy for him? Also if you’re Christian, it may be wise to seek spiritual guidance from a spiritual advisor like a pastor or an elder within a Christian community and ultimately prayer and lots of engaging in spiritual warfare.
i love the way you look at things and explain things, it truly speaks to me and i feel injected with insight and will to improve myself for myself
*When Breeny & Shallon Lester post at the same time !!!*
Kathryn Dowling what do u mean by that?
Ooooo yeeesss!!
Kathryn Dowling no I don't know what that means "she's got a side to her". I'm not a native speaker you know
Kathryn Dowling which side are you talking about, I am curious ?
@Kathryn Dowling please elaborate
you is so motivational girl💞💞
The way i started crying when u spoke about your childhood... your such an amazing person and im hlad you found christ when you did before it got real bad...
OMG I just had a phone call with someone and gave the exact same advice. As I was talking to them I kept asking myself was this the right information to convey. This video confirmed and affirmed that everything I told them was spot on. Thanks so much!
I agree with you 1000%. I decided a long time ago to acknowledge pain and decide that you want to create a life of love, compassion, and understanding. Anything is possible. Forgiveness is a superpower from God. You should use it! Thank you and Bless you, Breeny Lee!!!
Guuuuurllll!!! We have similar upbringings. I also had my soul searching, coming to Jesus moment when I was 22. I didn’t start to fully love myself until 24. And now I’m 25, watching this video like 🙌🏽😩
This is so needed and I do value your heart and your desire to bring people a better understanding of their hurt. Thank you for encouraging people to seek healing.
Imani Wade ♥️♥️♥️
You're Blessed, because I still don't have a partner who truly loves me and now in my 40's.
Same here...i do have a son though.
@@sixteen.candles.4644 I've got a son also
This is worth everything. I love these videos of yours. It means the world to hear this from another, after being alone in suffering and suicidal thoughts for a lifetime. God Bless.
I’m not the type to watch CZcams videos at all but I somehow came across your Channel & I watch the videos as much as I can. On my way to work, while I’m showering, eating etc. I’m so lucky to have found you Breeny. You’re so raw and real with what you’re saying and it all sounds so beautiful and genuine. You make me feel like there’s hope and I really wish I could meet you one day & just give you a big hug & thank you! My friend has told me that God allows bad things happen in our lives so we can learn and grow from it, to be able to help others that are going through similar situations. She was definitely correct about that. You’ve become such a strong woman now & I aspire to have a mentality like yours honestly. Keep being you love, you’re the best! ❤️
Breeny you radiate inside and out, thank you for using your platform to teach us women to love ourselves and to get through things. Very inspirational I always feel so motivated after I watch your videos! God Bless You!
REAL TALK! I was the product of a married man too and a lot of what you said resonates so much. You however shone some light on one particular thing that I do and could not understand why. The part about not wanting to be rejected. That is so me! I am the first to say 'bye' to a boyfriend, friend or acquaintance just so I would not be rejected by them. I would always 'play it safe' and try not to upset any situation. I dread confrontation because of this also. Thanks so much for shearing and being so open and honest.
I come from a home where I dont have a bond with my dad and I would say that has really messed up with my emotional state and it has really messed up the whole set up of family...i was so depressed because of what my home had become...I just accepted christ as my saviour and watching your videos is making heal
Thank you
Yeaa you're right with everything you said BUT SOMETIMES, you meet this guy or girl who turns you into something else like they were your parents who didn't show love, affection and attention to you. They make you think you're so unworthy
Shari London
Honestly, I do not know what to say about this women right here. I am so glad I came across your videos. Due to past trauma I am emotionally closed off therefore I struggle to express my emotions through words and realised I do it through actions. I purposely sabotage relationships due to these same reasons from childhood. Thank you for your bravery and honesty in order to get through to women to find their strength as a black women to another it’s refreshing to see.
Thank you for helping me grow 🖤