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10 Worst SCENE Writing Mistakes (Writing Advice)
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- čas přidán 16. 08. 2024
- Learn about the worst types of scene writing mistakes--and how to avoid them.
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Would love your input... I'm experimenting with a new camera and lighting setup. Let me know what you think about the brightness, focus, distance, audio, etc. in today's video. Thanks!
Looked good! Right brightness and distance.
Yep, lighting is nicer and clearer than before. Don't mind much. Everything else was good.
@@bellatorpoeta Thanks!
@@aeeeeeugh Thanks!
I think it's pretty solid, your face is a bit bright, but aside from that I think you nailed everything else
My #1 pet peeve in storytelling is when a potentially good scene gets ruined by either an unfunny joke or dissatisfying conlusion. For example, the main villain has won and is about to accomplish his goal and then the hero makes a stupid joke or a ridicilous line and the villain is caught off guard and gets defeated. Y'know, someone who nearly succeeded in destroying the world (or gaining control/power or whatever goal the villain has) shouldn't be distracted by this. True winners ignore the opinions of losers. Their words mean nothing to them, only the winner's success. And the villain shouldn't start speaking about their backstory or "grand plan" to someone they're about to kill like why? This is bad writing. Making the villain not only seem dumb, but easy to defeat and giving the good guys an excuse to win. That's why stories need good build-up, have a conclusion for a structure. No one likes a house with no roof or a house with no floor. It needs to be complete in both ways. From the start to the end.
Yep, humor is tricky. Sometimes is can release tension and help the story, but it can also disrupt sincere emotion and harm the story
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty The difference between the Saban English dub and original version of Digimon (the original series specifically) illustrates this perfectly. When I re-watched Digimon with subs, the tense scenes were given the weight they needed, and it was night and day compared to those same scenes with terrible jokes.
Honestly, I feel like I'd do something like having the villain get distracted by a corny 1 liner but I would write it in a really ironic way, where it's almost taking the piss out of the absurdity of the situation.
Humour can easily destroy a scene, especially with the villain. If the hero makes a joke and the situation is dire, it could of course mean that he's brave in face of terrible odds. But badly written, he often comes off as too detached or a bit of a ditz.
@@ludovico6890 I'm writing a book series that has 2 main villains: Eddie Frizzell and Merlin Frizzell (still trying to find a more fitting name for him but Merlin just sticks). Eddie is his adoptive son who wants all the power in the world so that he can restore balance. Keep things in order with the help of his powers. But Melrin has a different vision. To wipe out all mankind and bring back his family from the dead and bring them back to a perfected world on Earth. I want my villains to be right in a wrong way. So that the hero's efforts are justified and the villain isn't an idiot who does evil things for the sake of being evil. My fantasy series is very depressing, it's emotion heavy and full of drama, looking deep down into insecurities and problems of diverse people. Not just one person but many more. I want to show my readers what the people around them are like. How they feel and how they think. I know it's impossible to replicate correctly but I'm giving it a try. And I'm using humor to remind myself and the readers that there's still good things about life, good qualities about people, despite their insecurities. Humor is what brings people together, to laugh and have a good time. And that's my excact goal with my series.
Scenes where not much is happening. It should be engaging all the time. Doesn't matter if it's just conversations between characters, or scenes where no one is communicating. There should always be something that is engaging.
I've watched many many writing channels in preparation for writing my book, but your videos are the absolute best, Brandon.
They're very well structured, and I find your teaching style very refreshing.
Thank you, I appreciate it!
Same. I feel like I've hit the mother lode.
Ive been doing the same thing for years!
Wow. This is incredible advice. I've always written short stories because they're easier to structure, but your videos make me feel more prepared to write a book of 70,000+ words at last.
Awesome, best of luck!
I like putting a negative reaction scene after a positive action scene to make the contrast that much stronger. Also liked the tip about sprinkling the scene description throughout.
The best example of a tone shift is in Shawshank Redemption.
(Spoilers)
Right after Brooks suicide, you shift to Andy getting books for the library.
One thing I definitely need to work on is my tone shifts. I like having humor when I write, whether it be suspense, action, or horror, so balancing the humor with the serious can definitely be challenging scene to scene.
I did a video on Tone last year. Definitely check it out if you haven't already: czcams.com/video/dUuWZmAhNEg/video.html
@WriterBrandonMcNulty I forgot the advice apparently, thanks!
As a DM, I heavily use Yes-but/No-but to spice things up. I use this in my writing too.
Give the heroes what they want BUT at a cost. Or let you heroes fail BUT they learn/do something still important.
Avengers Endgame is probably the best example of shift in scene value and emotional shift.
The whole final batle that started when Captain America, Thor, and Iron Man face off against Thanos.
It starts off negative, Thanos is beating our heroes.
Then Cap lifts Thor's hammer and starts getting the upper hand. Shifts to positive.
Then Thanos overpowers Cap again and not only beats him down, but destroys his shield. In addition, Thanos then brings his whole army to invade Earth and kill Cap. We are at the lowest of the low.
And then... All of the heroes arrive and we go to the highest of highs.
Its what makes the whole scene such a powerful moment and why it has become instantly iconic.
If the scene just immediately had Thanos bringing his army and then the heroes coming without the fight between them, the heroes coming back wouldn't have been nearly as powerful.
There are extremely few channels that have so much information condensed into so little time. Thanks so much for all your videos Brandon, they are all helpful.
Thanks!
Brandon, you are doing a great service. I have no intention of writing professionally, but I learn a lot about how the writing process works. Thanks!
Thanks for the kind words! And maybe give writing a shot someday. Try flash fiction (1-1000 words max) and see if you come up with something cool
My rules of thumb are, "what purpose does this scene serve?" and "how does this scene tie to other scenes in the story?"
The answers may vary, but for the first question, answers need to be things like, "setting up the status quo so the audience can acknowledge when it changes," "a conflict/resolution," "a breather for the characters and audience after something intense," or "shows necessary context about a character or situation." A scene shouldn't be there just because I think something's cool or interesting; it needs to do something for the overall story too.
The second question, I often answer with things like, "this ending scene is a twist on the first scene and shows a clear foil," "Scene G provides greater context for Scenes E, M, N, and Q," or "this scene has an item that's casually hidden in plain sight that will come up later."
If the scene has no narrative purpose, and has nothing to tie it to, it has no purpose being there.
I find these two rules of thumb make it easier to cut down and/or edit scenes that aren't working for me.
Great points. Purpose is indeed key
First comment, yay! Love your work, keep at it. It helps a beginner writer such myself to know that this doesn't have to be as hard and complicated as people think it does.
I have recommendations for future videos:
1. How to write a Novella
2. Defining 3 stages of a writer (beginner, intermediate, advanced. If this exists, of course)
3. Should you focus on one writing project, two or more at a time?
4. How to not lose interest in your own ideas (This is something that I struggled with when I was just starting out)
5. Simple stories are not bad stories
6. Plot driven stories vs Character driven stories (And how to know which one is yours)
Additional tip for people who are starting out. This helped me a lot: DO NOT SET A DAILY WRITING GOAL. Set a weekly goal instead. It'll be less stressful for you because you'll be able to organize your work better and not get overwhelmed or burnout.
Daily goals can keep you disciplined but people often feel bad about themselves if they don't accomplish it. This in turn affects their writing in the future as they start doubting themselves.
This is just my opinion, though and it probably doesn't apply to everyone.
Good luck on your writing, everyone.
Thanks for the kind words! I'll add you requests to my list, and here are some quick answers for each:
1. Write a novel, but keep it shorter and limit yourself to 1-3 subplots.
2. Beginners make tons of mistakes, intermediates do some things well while making tons of mistakes, advanced do most things well while making tons of mistakes
3. Ideally commit to one, but if juggling give you more energy/enthusiasm, go with two
4. I may have already covered this in one of these two videos: czcams.com/video/RoIpaBkHPaY/video.html czcams.com/video/iqpNTRALPLM/video.html
5. Agreed, as long as there is depth within the simplicity
6. Plot stories focus more on external struggles; Character stories focus more on internal struggles. Granted, you need both external and internal.
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty thanks for the reply. It's funny how even experts make mistakes all the time. Nothing is perfect nor can it be perfect. So instead we should just focus on writing stories that people will enjoy. That's what Rick Partlow taught me
Which of these 10 tips was most helpful to you? Let us know!
Tips #6 and #8 were extremely helpful to me! I tend to have waay too many characters in nonimportant scenes but when the important scenes come, I only have like two or three characters. Thank you so much for this video! Keep up the good work!
The only thing I write are RPG adventures for my friends so I don't deal as much in scenes as in objectives and scenarios to resolve, but the point about scene values sounds really applicable to what I do. I'll try to make sure my players know after each scenario what variable has changed and whether it's gone from negative to positive or vice versa.
This coincides pretty well with some of the books on writing I've read years and years ago.
Small tip: Remember that the disaster should be a disaster in the eyes of your audience. If the hero has a trick up their sleeve, but the audience thinks they are cornered , then it still works. This usually might happen towards the climax, but things turn around for the hero.
I really like how you spelled out goal, conflict, disaster and goal, conflict, resolution. That's a really easy concept to remember and I think is going to be super helpful to identifying the problem when a scene just isn't working. I would say frontloading the scene description is the mistake I make the most; I have this fear that the audience isn't going to properly understand the setting, but I now I try to keep in mind that it's very easy to bog down the pace of a scene with too much exposition.
Mr. McNulty, I disagree on point 3. You are saying that if some state has not changed in the scene, then the scene is not needed. Changing the state of things is an ARC, and that's the job of the piece as a whole, but demanding that from every scene? We need scenes showing nature, let's remember, for example, film "Conan the Barbarian". There are many beautiful plans of nature, the hero and his friend are simply having dinner in the evening by the fire and talking. It doesn't require anything special, it just works for the meditative feel of this part of the film. We need scenes that simply depict someone's workday, someone's love, someone's conversations. Yes, there shouldn’t be too many such scenes, but you’re suggesting cutting them all out. We can't work only for the action, because there is also atmosphere.
Thank you for this video!
My new story starts with two fiance's, James and Danielle, planning their first robbery. At first both characters were all in. Instead, I'm going to make James reluctant. That way I can use their bickering to provide backstory and create a stronger scene through the conflict.
So what makes him do it? You'll have to read to find out.
Thanks again.
That sounds like a very positive change. I've made a ton of changes like that in my second draft. When I read through my first draft I realised that far too often their was no conflict or if there was it was resolved far too quickly.
Great stuff! Excellent points, especially the scene transition one. It's a huge pet peeve of mine when it takes too long for the writer to establish where we are, who's present, and time of day (or lighting, even). If I'm picturing two characters in the daytime and then two pages into the scene I'm told it's nighttime, that mental readjustment throws me completely out of the story. Same deal if I've been picturing two people talking alone and suddenly I'm told four other people are in the same room. I basically have to rewind the mental "movie" at that point, and I'm thinking about the writer and how clumsy they are rather than being immersed in the story.
Idk how you clearly provide such great information in such short videos. Love it!
Thanks! Glad it helped
I can't help but think back to that great scene in Jaws and Quint's riveting Indianapolis speech, but remember how its dramatic impact was set up perfectly by the scene before it -- the lighthearted bonding over comparing scars that made Quint's sharing such a personal moment with relative strangers totally believable.
hey brandon! loved this vid! i’ve loved your channel for a while now
any possibility on a video about nonviolent conflict? and i don’t mean just internal conflict, i mean an external problem that isn’t a life or death scenario but is equally important to the character, like a struggling employee losing their job
That's actually an interesting topic idea. I'll add it to my list. Thanks!
@@WriterBrandonMcNultyno problem! i love your vids
Great video as always.
I really hope you talk about diction. What makes scene good is mostly because of the deliberate words chosen by the writer. So it would be helpful if you talk about diction and how to use it.
Good idea--I'll add this to my list
I think my biggest problem is meandering dialogue. The dialogue serves the plot, but often the conversations cover multiple different plot threads and I find when trying to transition from one distinct plot thread to another, there has to be some natural-sounding conversational segway which takes a bit of back-and-forth dialogue to set up. I've considered just breaking these larger dialogues down into multiple smaller ones but then each smaller dialogue needs its appropriate setup and I don't actually end up delivering the points more concisely.
just so you know it's segue, not segway. common error!
its been probably like 5 years since last time ive read a book, i obviously have 0 interest in writing a book, but i watch all of your videos, probably because they are all amazing and you explain everything so perfectly
Shawn Coyne also expands on the positive to negative/negative to positive switch in his book 'Story Grid.' While still keeping the '+ > -' and '- > +' switches, he also introduced '- > - -' i.e. switch from 'bad to even worse'(and also the '+ > ++' one, i.e. 'good to even 'better,' but recommends that one be saved for the Resolution Point at the end of the story - or, perversely, if you want to bring the reader crashing down emotionally, have a 'good to even better' scene just before a huuuuge disaster, mwa ha haaa...) It's a good writing craft book if you want to take a REALLY deep dive into the mechanics of story: I found some of it WAAAY too 'Sheldon Cooper' an approach, but I still got some good advice out of it overall.
So scene 1 should go from + > -, scene 2 - > +, scene 3 + > -, etc, so the end of the previous scene and the start of the new scene should match?
With #1, while disaster does drive the plot, I do think there needs to be some resolution sprinkled in there. When I see too much disaster the story becomes less exciting and more anxiety inducing, and not in a good way. Give the reader/viewer a chance to breath, and their hear rate to drop. Even if it's ephemeral, it allows the reader to relax enough so that the drive doesn't become emotionally overwhelming. i'vr quite series and books right in the middle because there were so many defeats that the story became frustrating instead of fulfilling.
Reading Entry wounds atm.
Recommended. Hard!
Everything Brandon taught me are in there.
Thanks for checking it out! Glad you're enjoy it, and please consider leaving an Amazon review when you finish--those help a ton
About Wandering Dialogue, there are some writers who feel that their ability to do witty and clever conversation is itself an art and is worth showcasing on its own merits. And that may be the case, but a novel may not be the best place to showcase that art. Or, perhaps, one has to be very exacting about where, when, and why to practice that art. In a novel, it's all got to be in service to telling the story, and that means that even the most impressively clever dialogue has to advance the story.
well dialogue in general is going to progress some part of the story basically no matter what. It’s gonna be providing information, if not that it’ll be furthering or establishing a relationship etc etc. Having pointless dialogue isn’t really easy to do because speaking by nature always progresses something. No one talks to another person for no reason
@@aarong19 I guess, but some dialogue comes with little payoff. Maybe it reveals character a little, but sometimes one is forced to ask whether there was a better way to accomplish that. Extended conversations can be really really padded.
@@kingbeauregard i do agree with that, i tend to keep dialogue short the majority of the time and i love writing dialogue, there’s really never a point to have like a full chapter that’s predominantly dialogue though so i get what you mean for sure
Some ideas for your future videos:
How to deconstruct a genre right.
How to create a memorable horror villain.
What format should you chose for your story.
How to choose the right music for a story.
How to show madness in your story.
How to create a story that includes LGBT (without sounding like an activist, Twitter user or shipper).
And a video about fan fiction.
I'm currently writing a novel, after watching almost all of your videos I'm at Chapter 4, 70 pages long. I learned every technique from you Brandon, appreciate you man.
noway the first 1080P video on the channel
it's kinda brighter than usual but i loved the improvement! keep going brandon, and thank you for everything you taught me.
I recently found your channel and I have to say, I am hooked. As someone looking to finally kick off a story concept that I have had floating around in my head for some years now, only to have written very little of substance about it, I can't wait to apply each and every piece of advice of yours.
It's really helpful to me how you include examples with most of your videos because I at least learn best that way. Too many writing advice videos on CZcams involve someone naming the issue or the advice, without actual examples that are relatable to a wider audience. Those examples really make the advice stick with me and make me feel less bad about having made them, seeing as big movie productions have made them too!
I'm thrilled to have found your channel and look forward to more! Also, I will definitely check out your novels sooner rather than later, those premises sound incredibly fun and intriguing to me. Thanks for all your efforts, Brandon! 👌
the scene value changes is a big tip. haven't heard it phrased that way before, but it makes sense now. Thanks!
Glad it helped!
Hey can you do a video about how to write a good static character 😁
I'll add this to my list--thanks!
I just want to say that these videos have been so incredibly helpful to me, so thank-you very much. I'm a first time writer and i am currently on my second draft.
Watching your videos has helped me a lot when it comes to making the positive changes i needed to make. I've cut unnecessary scenes and dialogue, rearranged scene placements, I've changed the way i describe things, I've changed character personalities to increase conflict and create interesting obstacles etc.
Without these sorts of videos that you make i reckon I'd still be sitting blindly in awe of my first draft.
I'm not a writer and I love this channel. ❤
Hahaha thanks
Love the new recording style, Brandon. Keep up the good advice
Thanks! Wish I had upgraded my camera/lens a long time ago
I found the suggestion that I don't need to put my setting description first useful. I write screenplays and that is an efficient way to handle it, but maybe adjustments to how I deliver description might make it easier for the reader.
Yay the notification for your video appeared! I love your channel and your work thank you so much for your advices, I spent all day watching your videos and thinking about my writing stuff❤
Thrilled to hear it! I'm glad the videos are helping you out
Had me thinking about Tomorrow Never Dies. Firstly, we have the death of who we initially are led to believe is the film’s love interest, Paris, in Bond’s hotel room at the hands of an assassin, Dr. Kaufman. While Vincent Schiavelli is having fun camping it up and chewing scenery, Brosnan is playing it straight, grim and full of controlled anger; it’s like they’re in two different movies. So, setting a scene’s tone and making sure it’s consistent is also really important.
Anyway, the second thing was that this scene was immediately followed by a goofy action sequence that had Brosnan grinning like he hadn’t just lost a woman he loved and executed a man on his knees, begging for his life.
These lessons are awesome, BTW. 💖
Scenes are underdiscussed in writing tips. When you start thinking about a book, you already need to know how things translate to a scene. A book with great scenes, but poor plot is still a book. A book with poor scenes and great plot, is unreadable. Try also to avoid that all scenes have the same setting. A problem when you make a detective serie. That all scenes are just interrogations.
"A book with great scenes, but poor plot is still a book."
That's a great point. I recently watched the movie Clerks, and while the plot itself sucks, the scenes are engaging straight through
I got some ready from the ready shop. Ready me, baby.
GEEET READY!!!
This video explains so well what was wrong with Jurassic World Dominion. I swear that movie was originally two movies crammed into one, because it has like a million characters and just keeps randomly jumping back and forth from one group to the other and between scenes that have absolutely nothing to do with each other. You quite literally could cut out about 75% of that movie and still have a fully fleshed out plot.
Your videos keep getting better. Congratulations and keep up the good work.
Thanks, will do!
This is maybe the most helpful writing video I've ever seen. Thank you so much! It's super actionable
Thank you! Thrilled to hear it helped
Lack of conflict is my Achilles heel in writing. I can create overarching conflict(s) affecting the whole story, but conflict in individual scenes without restorting to contrivance is much more difficult.
I’ve been waiting for this one. Awesome advice. It’s nice to see it all laid out concisely
Thanks!
The last tip is really helpful, but the example given i think it’s not correct, let me explain. The first scene is an important character death scene and the second is a goofy/funny scene, that’s not always poor placement. Maybe this placement shows the contrast between 2 characters or the hero and the villain. If it doesn’t serve a purpose in its placement, like the hero, who lost a companion last scene, is laughing and making jokes the next scene. This i call bad placement. But again this if structured perfectly can give us the feeling that the character coping mechanism is joking around and giving no care about anything to avoid being hurt again.
Yeah I’m writing a scene right now where I have characters in the background. I’ll have them be a part of it, thanks!
Great vid, Brandon! I like the gesture to McKee! His books are super-helpful.
THANK YOU, your videos are super amazing!!!
Thanks!
I love your videos Brandon and in fact if you remember me I recommended to you that you should make a few videos about the best and worst book to film adaptations, and how to stay faithful to the original source material when making changes and/or cutting out a few things. However I have one more recommendation for you, and that is that you should make a video discussing how to write overarching antagonists in films, some examples that you should include should be these four films: The Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, Puss in Boots: The Last Wish, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Thanks! And yes, I still have you book-to-film request on my list. Still trying to gather the right material for that one.
I'll add Overarching Villains to my list as well. Thanks again
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty No problem, and please do take your time as well. You have to remember: things like this take time, talent, and effort, you rush this then you completely mess up really badly, and again no problem. I just wanted to recommend another thing to you while also just wanting to be reminded of my first recommendation.
Great information! Thank you!
Glad it was helpful!
Hi there! Awesome video yet again, though if I'm being completely blunt, it would have been helpful to have a few (brief) examples, even if they're made up. I believe one of the best ways to learn is by learning what not to do. At the same time I understand it's not always as easy to give examples. Thanks a lot for your advice though! Like many people here say, your advice is one of the most useful there is on this platform (among a few others). I've watched countless videos and it's fascinating how much there is to learn.
As for the question of the day: I could definitely work on 6 (scene transition) and 8 (too many characters). Often I feel like my stories are fairly dull in the sense that they're lacking interaction and connection, so I try to add in more characters though they're often excessive. Similarly I am not yet too great at shifting between different scenes within chapters. It's hard to nail!
Perhaps you could do a video about how to use elements (e.g. items, people, sounds, etc.) in a scene to enhance story immersion!
This is really helpful, I am writing a fantasy novel right, a genre known for having scenes where an awful lot happens, especially with dialogue and action, and trying to keep it all in the right lane and moving forward can be tough.
Thank you, as a new writer these are good things to keep in mind!
Great advice for certain writing style but there is a lot of possibilities and meaning in each culture, for example "The elevator scene" in Neon Genesis Evangelion or the extremely long and quiet scenes in Ghibli movies.
Writing a script for a graphic novel and this helps a lot. Thank you Brandon for so much useful advice.
Also, I’ll definitely be checking out Entry wounds in the future. Happy New Years!
Here's a summary/sceneboard for the writers who want to use this advice actively. Every time you want to write a scene, just fill these blanks as much as needed to get some guidance.
__________________________________
Scene ===> What happens on this specific scene (summary)?
__________________________________
__________________________________
1 • Action or reaction?
Action pointer
• Goal
• Conflict
• Disaster // Resolution
Reaction pointer
• Reaction
• Dilemma
• Decision
__________________________________
2 - Is there enough conflict? What sort of conflict could be added to this scene in order to make it better?
(Add your ideas of conflict here) -
__________________________________
3 - Shift in scene values
What scene value in specific is changing throughout this scene?
(insert initial value) -
(insert final value) -
__________________________________
4 - Emotions
What sort and mix of emotions is this scene trying to convey? You can also use specific mixes instead of single emotions for added effect. Normally a mix of around three emotions would work nicely depending on the context of the scene.
(Emotions in the beggining of this specific scene and why) -
__________________________________
5 - Emotional Shift
Shift the emotion board of the scene across it so that readers can feel some change happening.
(Emotions by the end of this specific scene and why) -
__________________________________
6 - Scene transitions
You need to signal at the character POV, goal and upcoming conflict, along with hinting at time and location. Otherwise, the scene might be confusing to read.
Character POV -
Character Goal -
Upcoming conflict -
Time of the day -
Location -
Weather -
__________________________________
7 - Start as late as possible and end as soon as possible.
Where should you start this scene without dragging it too much? What is the latest point in which you can start it? -
When is the soonest time possible in which you can end this scene? -
__________________________________
8 - Character presence
Who are the characters interacting in this scene? Be sure as to not put too many characters, as it can be confusing to the reader, and also be sure that they are in fact serving a role in the scene.
(Insert characters and roles) -
__________________________________
9 - Dialogue
Dialogue should be something that pushes the story from a point to another, so be careful with dialogue that doesn't serve a role in the scene.
__________________________________
10 - Scene placement
Be sure that you aren't putting too many scenes of one specific type in a row (action or reaction) and that you're managing a certain balance in between them. Also, be careful with scenes next to each other that have clashing emotions (for example, a tragic scene next to a comedic scene might feel off tone to the reader).
__________________________________
Thanks for sharing this. You gave me some great advice for the next draft of my screenplay.
My weakest link in my scenes are the long dialogues that you mentioned. I have a problem often where I can’t make my characters sound natural- their words feel forced and strange, which is frustrating until I backtrack and either rewrite all of it, or delete it and go a different direction.
This is really sound stuff, because one of my short stories that I like most follows this.
All of the scenes have more than one vibe (the first scene has three, which are technically what makes that scene's goal-conflict-resolution arc, because the whole scene is mainly one overarching action).
I remember I had to get kind of clever with a part where the three main characters were in a heated exchange. Ch#3 basically goes silent past one point during the "dilemma" part of scene 3, and to address what could've come off as the "give everyone reason to be there" problem, I had them bring that up themself in the later talk (after the conflict's resolved). Then I went back to have POV guy mentally acknowledge it (in the "you ass! why are you just standing there watching, I'm dyin' here" kind of way).
I think something to keep in mind is knowing the difference between scene values and emotion. I feel a way to say "scene values" is "what emotion is the moment feeling?"
I generally don't have trouble with Scene Placement because I tend to write in chronological order, but even when I don't, the scene I write tends to be the one coming right after. None of my stories are long enough or have had big enough skips around in time (well, not since I was a kid, anyway). That's a good one to keep in mind for the ol' pet novel I have in mind, which is intended to be longer. I actually might run into that issue then.
This video is an absolute goldmine. Wonderful advice.
Great video. How about a video showcasing good scenes and bad scenes?
Quentin Tarantino might be one of the few movie writers who can actually get away with some sort of wandering dialogue that's entertaining. For example, the "royale with cheese" scene is a very trivial conversation that does not advance the plot or tells you anything meaningful about the story. I think the scene works because: 1. We're learning something new (a curiosity from another culture). Line after line of dialogue we are fed with new information. 2. We are getting to know the world's view and personality of Travolta's character. Additionally, his interpretation is superb. 3. It is told very casually and fast paced, as if the characters were your friends in real life and it ends up being engaging. In the pen of another writer, that scene would have dragged for several minutes or straight up could not have been screen time worthy.
The biggest mistake I see is unnecessary scenes. Writing workshops emphasize the importance of scenes at the expense of summary. But sometimes summary just works better. It's far more efficient. A mature, confident writer will move freely between scene and summary in a natural, breathing rhythm. Amateur writers will either summarize everything or slow the story down by showing everything through scene.
Watching this one 10x. Your vids never miss keep doing what your doing because u got my support.
#10 is the mistake I make the most, I need to remember to get a balance of the action & reaction scenes.
You said that if nothing changes in a scene that it should be changed or cut, but what if the point of the scene is that nothing changes. What if you're setting up for some big change down the road and you have several scenes where things always play out a certain way to establish how things are supposed to work in this world before having one of the main characters, hero or villain, decide to interrupt that flow, or disturb the order, or destroy it altogether.
Yeah I think that rule kind of limits you. What about scenes that tell you about characters but doesn't really end good or bad? Or to show some worldbuilding in a natural way.
I have a scene that shows something about the main character and there is a reference to an event in the past in dialogue but it doesn't really change much.
I love your videos. I write for videogames and I watch your videos mostly to get ideas for them. Maybe do a specific video about it?
Hi Brandon, thanks for posting the 10 worst scene writing mistakes; they're easy to understand and very useful.
As for your new camera and lighting setup, the light is positioned directly in front of you, giving you what's called flat lighting. In other words, both sides of your face are evenly lit and too bright. This normally is less attractive as it doesn't give your face shape and results in hot spots of light around your upper cheeks and forehead. It would be better to position the light off to one side to give you what's called a key light. Then, place another weaker light on the opposite side to give you a fill light. Also, make sure both lights are the same colour temp by using the same type of light. And to that matter, the light you're using is rather warm (yellow/orange). A neutral light may look better, or you could try adjusting the camera's colour temp so it's closer to 3600-4000k as it may be set too high right now. Lastly, drop the camera down a little so your eyeliner with the lens is level to the floor. Currently, the camera is up a little and tilted down, making your head look a little too big for your body. I hope this helps.
So glad I saw this comment. Thank you so much for the input. I thought the key light was supposed to be directly ahead, so I’m thrilled you pointed this out.
That was great advice! _Thank you!_ 😁👍
something I always worry about is my story being too serious, but humor writing isn't really my thing. what I find funny is pretty absurdist, and when i've added comedy scenes, beta-readers say that they feel it takes too much focus thanks to being so bizarre and takes them out of the story. is it okay to just not have comedy scenes in your story?
I've just (today) finished reading that book by McKee!! It was an advice from my teacher of screenwritig :D
Scene placement is what I strugle with the most. in the beginning, Im setting up 2 POV characters and I am trying to find the best arrangement for the first 6 chapters (3 for each POV). the arrangement i have now feels best from a conflict perspective, with the "main" conflict being touched on earlier, but it feels a bit worse from a "location" perspective, meaning the characters have to tavel quite a bit more which makes the entire thing seem a bit contrived.
Good points as always, Brandon
This video came at the perfect time. I also bought your book.
Thank you! Hope you enjoy it. Please leave a review when you finish--those help a ton!
Excellent. Thank you.
This is some seriously good advice here.
I sometimes feel like I've let the climactic battle at the end of my comic drag too long, but my readers insist that's because of the amount of time it's taken to draw the pages out (I average about a page a week on it) and that when read all at once it's fine. It's had several moments of silence where something happens and the characters react, and only one "hey we won oh wait here's the real final villain" fake-out so hopefully I'm just being too hard on myself as usual. I've made sure all 3 protagonists had some contribution to the final defeat of the villain, and characters who were superfluous to the story got left behind to streamline it.
But still, my biggest problem area is probably scene length, in the edit I may rearrange/trim down some pages, we'll see. Honestly for something that I didn't intend on making a longform story I think it's turning out pretty well.
I just plotted out two scenes that I like a lot, but I do feel they mirror each other too much in terms of emotional value - maybe I need some segue scene with an opposing emotional value to keep things balanced.
Does the value change? That's what's most important.
You might also distance those two scenes from each other if you're worried about repeating the emotion too soon
@@WriterBrandonMcNulty The issue may be that I'm not being specific enough with my use of emotional value - the way I'm reading it, the overall direction of the scenes goes from something positive/neutral -> negative, but the actual feelings are different. The former scene ends with a kind of reprimand, while the latter ends on a more fearful note.
It could also be that the scenes I'm describing are really more than one scene - for example, in the first scene that I described as moving from positive to negative, it could actually be broken up into two parts like:
(negative) point of ignorance - > mentor provides instruction - > gained knowledge (positive)
(positive) feeling of confidence -> attempt to apply knowledge on a larger scale -> mentor reprimands (negative)
can u make a video on how to write a training scene (like where a character teaches another character how to use their superpowers?)
That last tip could’ve easily helped out the writers for Apokolips War
Is it ok if a value shift in a scene goes, from positive to more positive, or negative to more negative? I would guess a scene has a problem when there is no value shift at all.
One of the worst examples of a goofy scene following a tragic one was one of the old Dr. Kildare movies starring Lew Ayres. Dr. Kildare's future wife was hit by a truck and dies with Kildare there with her. The next scene has Red Skelton do five minutes of slapstick with a group of bags.
Oof. Haven't seen those movies, but that sounds like a jarring emotional shift
Always enjoy your videos, but I wish you had some examples of these mistakes! How can I tell if I'm making them otherwise?
u just put out bangers man
I really like your videos, Brandon.
Thank you!
Great video, as always.
Please send these great tips to the writers of season 3 of The Bear!
Good morning, Brandon. I enjoy your videos and find them helpful. I'm working on a short story at the moment and am enjoying the writing process. Can you please, if you're aware of one, recommend a good craft book for writing short story fiction? My previous story (in draft) morphed into a Novella, which is fine-but this new story is to remain between 1500 and 3500 words. Also, when describing your characters, is it important to do it up front for the readers benefit, or can you sprinkle it throughout scene as you suggested in this video for describing your scene elements? Note: I currently follow Dean Wesley Smith's practice of "Writing into the Dark", which I understand is akin to "Pantser" writing, but when "cycling" back, I continue to improve upon my scene; hanging meat on the bones. Kind regards, and thank you.
This is a pet peeve of mine but let's say there is an action scene you have 2 robots, 2 monsters or even regular humans fighting and then they cut the action away it's one of the most annoying things in movies. because they know what we came to see but they shift the focus on the humans or something that not everyone cares about. It happens in Transformers films, Godzilla/Monster movies or even other action movies and it aggravates me.
Best apple pie in the city, only a psycho would turn that down without giving a reason. That's how you end with a change in scene value!
8:00 Properly wandering dialogue
I understand the need to push the plot along but what if you have a chapter that’s character building above all?
Would it be a good idea to write scenes through sheer intuition and go by how they feel?
what anamazing advices.. great job
Do you have a writing basics guide anywhere, or have one you would recommend? I don't even know how to get started...
Props for the Seinfeld scene where Audrey refuses the pie!