GETTING MY LIFE BACK - Starting Today đŞ
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- Äas pĹidĂĄn 5. 09. 2024
- This is a follow up video about my life changing drastically. Now, I need to get my life back! So, this is my plan. It starts today đŞ Links below :)
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After my Husband passed away I was a right mess including my finances but following your channel and adopting the cash envelope system has got me back on track, out of debt and now I'm even able to save for xmas. You said you hope you were helping people well you've helped me. You will stay strong for your children . Its early days but you will get your life back on track . All the best Nicola
Thank you for that - Iâm so glad Iâve managed to help â¤ď¸
Get your slow cooker out today, make a healthy stew for the next couple of days and make a meal plan for the rest of the week. Sending positive vibes as I've been in the same situation đđ
Thank you â¤ď¸
Things will get better and you will be stronger because of it...
You are getting stronger my lovely it will get easier , your children will get you through it , they give you unconditional love đ
Thank you :)
I woke up thinking about you this morning, and I am so happy to see your video âş I saved your video from a few months ago and have not been able to comment on it. I came here this morning to find that video and comment.
My whole life changed and was turned upside down almost 10 years ago, and it took me years to put everything back on track. I am so proud of you for being able to talk about your journey. When my life changed I stopped posting on CZcams for years and even took down a ton of videos. My channel was never big, but I lost my monetization when CZcams changed it's policy a few years ago and now I have regrets about pulling videos and not really posting for years. As a Solo Mom, I really wish I would have stuck with it to have some extra income and I look at where I was and where I could have been and wish I would have done things differently. There are so many times a few extra dollars could have helped us. Mostly I see the gap on my channel as a time stamp during my darkest years, when all I could do was take care of my kids. I stopped blogging about my life and my family, and shut down my passions for years. I was so focused on just getting through my day, and keeping my kids safe and happy that I put myself on hold.
It's been a long journey, but we are thriving and rising above it all. My kids are working along side me, helping me stay focused on my personal goals, and we are easing back into doing CZcams as a family again, and they are cheering me on while I reboot my handmade jewelry business. In many ways I am repeating everything I did 15-20 years ago, but this time I know that no one is going to take anything away from me, and that everything I am doing now will give my kids the future I was building for them when everything came crashing down. Thank you so much for sharing your journey, please always take care of you first, and don't give up on your dreams and goals đ
Thank you for sharing your story â¤ď¸ we can both do this, one day at a time.
@@NicolaatTheFrugalCottage ⤠You have so much going on in your life, and you are doing great! It really is one day at a time, sometimes it is 1 hour at a time, you are strong even if you don't always feel that way. Every day you are beautifully you and that will never change.
This was a beautiful shift to hear. The children's feelings of course are a priority in a crisis - but you can't pour from an empty cup - and I'm so glad that you're shifting towards putting yourself on the to do list! It really does take time - but it sounds like you've leveled up from basic survival. I will say that it took me a very long time to be able to read new books again - but I could read old beloved books and that was a great comfort. Eventually I was able to read new books again. Find a few easy favorite meals to make each week, baby steps. You can do this - but be gentle with yourself always! Whatever you feel like you can do each day is the thing to do - each time to get back to something that gives you purpose, that gives you peace, that gives you joy, that gives you a feeling of accomplishment, will make you more able the next day.
Thank you â¤ď¸
I have absolutely been where you are now back in my early 20s. I am now 58 and have a wonderful life that I have worked hard for and been truly blessed with. And donât fret, it wonât take that many years, lol. But you have to start somewhere and itâs a one day at a time adventure. There will be setbacks where you will feel like throwing up your hands and screaming âIâm doneâ but keep moving forward and I promise it get easier. Do it for yourself, do it for your children. You canât take the proper care of them if you donât take care of yourself first. That is not selfish, itâs just fact. If itâs 30 minutes sitting in the lamplight with a cup of tea just sorting your brain. If itâs a 15 minutes hot bath or shower where you just wash the day away. Give yourself grace if you canât get everything done in a day.
You can do this! Believe.
Thank you â¤ď¸
No relationship is better than the wrong relationship ..... love yourself first - all the rest will follow
When I was unexpectedly divorced, 3 months pregnant, and been out of the work force for over a year I too was overwhelmed. The only way I can describe that first 6 months was terror, numbness, and self pity. I realized that there were warning signs but I thought things could be "fixed" but later realized that it was impossible when my partner was never invested in the relationship. That helped with the self pity. Now I could make a plan and boy did I. Almost 40 years later I realized that breaking the process down into small, manageable steps is what helped me. Belonging to a women's single parents group was invaluable. When unexpected curve balls hit I became ready for them. I was always an extreme budgeter but I made it a game, with my daughter, to see how much we could save. Years later, even though that is no longer needed, we still do it because she saw it as a game and a challenge. YOU HAVE GOT THIS! Just break it down into morsels not forkfuls.
Thank you for sharing that â¤ď¸
One baby step at a time. You have new goals and you will succeed.
Years ago I too ended up on my own with a young family. I felt I was unable to move forward. I couldnât see a light at the end of a very dark tunnel. It all came to a head when I was told I was hopeless and something clicked in my head and I thought I will show you. I wrote myself a list of all the thing I needed to deal with but had been unable to face, it was very overwhelming but I vowed to cross of at least one item every week until I had got me life back on track and my little family were more secure. I made sure once the children were in bed that I took time for me even if that was only 5 mins to sit with a cup of hot chocolate before I got on with the next task. I got up each morning put on my lipstick and prepared to face another day. Believe me it wasnât easy by day by day I made small achievements and life became less stressful and more secure. It was hard but it made me a stronger person. It gave me the fight to rebuild a better life for me and my children who are now grown with children of their own.
Just take it one step at a time there will be good days and bad days but you will get back on your feet and move forward. Give yourself time and space you are doing well.
We all miss your regular videos full of advice and wisdom but we will be here eagerly waiting when your next one arrives, your true followers understand your life is in turmoil but we will still be here to support you. Take care xxx
It sounds like youâve had it tough â¤ď¸ thank you for the support x
Cheering you on all the way.. you are you and no one can take that away đ xx
Thank you :)
Taking ownership and acknowledgment of were you where once. Is progress, one day at a time. You are tremendously brave and courageous.
You're Stronger then you think. đđŞ.
Believe in yourself. And enjoy you're children. And the little Things in Life.đ
Thank you đ
Give yourself time and grace. You'll get it all sorted out.
Thank you x
This video was a testament to the strength of the human spirit. Itâs so good to see you finding your spark. There will be setbacks, but you are proving that youâre a fighter and you will heal and that life still has so much to offer you. â¤
Thank you â¤ď¸
Nicola you're doing great have faith you will come threw this nothing lasts forever only God look already you have gifts of small blessings from earth angels praying for you ..xxxxxxx
Sending love đ hugs and prayers to you and your family!! When you rise, we all rise a little bit too!! We understand that itâs not going to be easy, but we are all cheering you on!!! Go slowly and reach out for any services that may be available to you !! This is a temporary setbackâŚ.and you will come out stronger and better on the other end. â¤
Thank you â¤ď¸
Itâs good to see that you are back and able to start to think. You can do this and yes, your kids need you to look after yourself â¤ď¸
Thank you :)
âThe only way out is throughâ. You will get through this. I have been where you are and now 3 years on I am not existing anymore but am now planning things and taking control. Itâs part of the process - donât beat yourself up, you will have good days and bad days. You are stronger than you think because although you donât realise it you are talking like a survivor not a quitter. đ
Thank you â¤ď¸
Your so brave and strong, you really are inspirational. Your such a good mum and a deserve a happy life xx
Thank you â¤ď¸
I know it's difficult but you have to look after yourself sweetie, or you won't be fit to look after anyone else! Accepting where you are now, can help you go forward , your kids are so lucky to have a mum like you, hugs xx
Thank you â¤ď¸
You're always very inspirationnal, thank you. Your videos are very useful, you're calm and wise, we all need that in our lives. Keep going, we will be here.
Thank you â¤ď¸
Hi you are stronger than you think, one step at a time, things will get better, best wishes đđ¤xxx
Thank you đ
You remind me of a phoenix rising. I am wishing you all the best.
You can and will make it! If I can start over in my early 60âs so can you. My Mom passed in 2020, my best friend turned her back on me, and my Sister is mentally off. After cleaning out Momâs hoarder home, dealing with my Sis and then selling my parents CA home, I was beat. But I went back to my NV home and packed up and sold my home, moved to a new state and had my new house fixed up. (Did I mention it is just me and my doggie girl? I donât have any close family, but I do have one friend in the area.) Worst two and a half years of my life! Only now am I starting to take a lil better care of myself by reading books again, eating better, and reaching out to the community. And thatâs the short version. Life is tough, but we are stronger!! You are a sweet young woman and you will succeed. Hugs to you and your boys â¤
And to you â¤ď¸
Sending you a huge virtual hug of strength. This time will pass and you will be stronger. Find a new normal that you and your children can really enjoy xx
Lovely video. I agree you need to take care of yourself to look after your children. Maybe agree to sit at the table with a home cooked meal at least every other day and reduce takeaways/junk to help with finances and health. Read at least a chapter of a book each day or watch a film or listen to music maybe or just a relaxing Bath/shower. Glad you getting your mojo back though. It takes time.
Good suggestions â¤ď¸
Something good comes from this devastation maybe not immediately but you will look back in time and see it.
Take each day as it comes and focus on the good things however small.
Do what feels comfortable and donât over stretch yourself, be kind to yourself. Xxx
Thank you â¤ď¸
We all '"need" to do things when things have gone horribly wrong. But Nicola treat yourself gently, you deserve some self love. It "will" get better enjoy your children and those who love and care about you and keep taking baby steps and stay strong through all of this muddyness. You really really will get through this. Sending so.much love xxx
Thank you â¤ď¸
You are inspiring; it does take time and energy to process change and figure out new directions. Good luck with it all! Suggestions for cooking....1/. Include the children, at least sometimes!. 2/ Keep it simple and fun and cheat. (Eg. Put toppings on plain pizza bases or customise a ready made one with extra and healthy toppings. These days with high energy charges I'm using either my slow cooker or small oven. Roast or bake veg in oven along with meat/fish......x2 casserole dishes fit in oven. Or I bung all ingredients I'm using into slow cooker for casserole/stew/curry/chicken chausseur/whatever!) Apart from choosing ingredients and chopping veg, it frees you up to read a book/play with the children/flop on settee with a glass of wine or cuppa. 3/ If you're going to the trouble of deciding to make a delicious meal make double quantities sometimes. Then you can freeze some and have your own wonderful prepared ready meal on another occasion. Casseroles always taste better second time around! 4/ Make the mealtime an occasion... listen to music, sit at the table with the children prior to serving it up, maybe with a drink and nibbles, start chatting about the day before you serve up. And serving up will be easy, either from casserole dishes or slow cooker. I started to take a break between cooking and serving food during lockdown with Covid. Mealtimes were sometimes the absolute highlight of the day at that time, and separating the actual cooking from the serving and eating of the meal increases my anticipation and enjoyment and reduces stress of juggling saucepans!! Also my family seem more appreciative of my efforts from the slight delay!!:) When the Going gets Tough, the Tough gets Going, in the words of Billy Ocean... great song btw, and a good one to bop around the kitchen to!
Thank you for all the suggestions â¤ď¸
Hi nicola. I'm thrilled you are feeling ready to take steps to move forward. I'm sure this will L so gain tonnes of views! Keep going, you are doing great. Love and hugs xxx
Thank you â¤ď¸
Absolutely love watching your vlogs, they are so helpful. You are doing an amazing job, just keeping doing what's right for you and the kids. It will all work out đx
Thank you â¤ď¸
Nicola, nothing but light and love and strength! For you and your children. Watched (and subbed) for a few years and always look forward to watching your videos. Absolutely cheering you on as you find your feet and your way in this crazy world and thing we call life!!!! Heidi in Canada
Thank you â¤ď¸
There is no better way to feel better about yourself (and life in general) than to give and you have so much to offer! You are a natural teacher! Use your passion to help others and I promise the rest will come! Luke 6:38
Well done,well done,well done!
Thank you â¤ď¸
I stopped eating after 630pm and wow! I have lost that stubborn belly fat, am not hungry all the time but the biggest bonus is much much better sleep. Try it. You will feel less tired.
Also I recommend chopping and baking a whole lot of sweet and normal potatoes and carrots. Store in the fridge for evening meals. Make easy poke bowls with tinned chick peas, tinned corn and tinned beetroot. Add some of the chopped pre baked potatoes and carrots for a super easy and nutritious meal. You can also add green leaves like spinach and pickled cabbage and hummus. It is really delicious. B12 vitamins are beneficial especially during stressful times as you really need extra.
Baked beans with mushrooms and thick wholemeal toast is another easy nutritious dinner I make when time is scarce.
You will be fine.đđ
Thank you for those suggestions âşď¸
I donât know what happened. I will look at the linked video. Obviously some sort of unwanted life change. You will get through this time. Iâm here from @Frugal Queen in France. Iâm sick and in bed so Iâm playing your Videos with adverts and all. I hope you get some increased ad revenue. I know it takes awhile to come through but it will come. Hang in there. You can get through hard times. It might take time, but you will.
Self care is key. You can do this.
Thank you so much â¤ď¸
I think you are a survivor Nicola and you are demonstrating this in the way you are talking. I wish I could come up with a magical solution but I imagine it is about bringing in more income, lessening expenditure ( but I don't think you could lessen more from what you share). Are your parents able to look after the boys in your home for a few hours a week to enable you to focus on your financial side hustle? I don't know what is coming for you in the next while but love and best wishes from NZ.
Thank you for your support â¤ď¸
You've got this ...
Just wanted to give you a virtual hug. Breakups are hard, even more so when children are involved. You will find your strength. Its still early days and recovery isn't a straight line. You will find a series of different 'shifts' at different times. I'm currently going through a divorce (my second one) so completely understand where you are at. I wish you all the very best x
Thank you â¤ď¸
So happy to see your video, please add some you time to your plan. It's not selfish it's preserving/improving your mental health.
You can't pour from an empty cup.
Xxxxx
Itâs finding the time! But I will do â¤ď¸
Nicola so happy to hear from you đ
Thank you â¤ď¸
Nicola every day you get to choose how you set your day sometimes it takes a period of just getting still and thinking about how you want to live your life stillness creates momentum to go forward, remember to continue to do things that enrich you soul and let the things that aren't a priority go I wish you all the best if I may please could I recommend the secret book it may help xxx
Iâll have a look - thank you for the recommendation â¤ď¸
Well done on pushing through - youâve got this. Sending positive vibes your way đ
Thank you â¤ď¸
You are so right about taking care of yourself. Take the kids for walks in the sunlight. Make a simple healthy meal every other day. Set new traditions with your kids that give you rest like movie night in pajamas or something. When I divorced, I made a point to where đ color. It was cheap therapy. Praying you have this load lifted a little. đĽ°
Getting there â¤ď¸
It takes time to evolve. You are doing brilliant đ and you will succeed.
Nicola in a way you are going through a major bereavement. You have suddenly lost the love and life that you had and you canât have the future life that you planned. So exactly as if you were suddenly widowed you are grieving for that loss of future lifestyle. So give yourself plenty of time and donât be hard on yourself. Yes you do above all need to look after your children and also somehow sort out your financial situation but take your time. Your mind has limited bandwidth while it is preoccupied with grieving. Itâs a long term game and it might take some time before you have forged a new life and suddenly realise one day that you are more happy than sad. But you will get there. Bon courage! đ
You have explained how it feels so well đ one day, it wonât feel like this.
Keep going! Thanks to you I regained my focus after loosing almost everything, I have now started to build out a dividend portfolio. I cant add as much as I want, but slowly I am working away.
Nicola, I have been watching your channel for several months now and you have helped me and my family immensely! I just want to say that you absolutely glow in this video! You're lovely inside and outside. Do remember, that when one chapter closes, another always opens. You're doing an amazing job and your best life still lies ahead of you! You're doing great.
Thank you â¤ď¸
She's looking brilliant! Blessed with a great complexion Nicola!
Youâve got this Nicola.. one day at a time!! ..Love and light.
Thank you â¤ď¸
Good luck, Nicola. Baby steps. You will get there and come out the other side stronger â¤
Thank you â¤ď¸
OK random ytube reccomendation, new subscriber because I see myself in you 20yrs ago. As I said on your other post you are strong,you will get through this,you and kids will be ok x please take care of yourself, face mask,bath,chat with friends x
Thank you x
Hi Nicola, you are such a genuine person on CZcams. You will get there and you are doing such an amazing job. Just take one day at a time. Best wishes Kim â¤ď¸
Thank you â¤ď¸
We all have faith in you xx
â¤ď¸
It gets better, Im proud of you x
Thank you â¤ď¸
Lovely to see you back xxđđ§Ą
Thank you đ
Hi Nicola I feel for you
You sound so alone
I assumed your husband had left you but I thought today that has he passed away
Iâm not sure if Iâve missed a video
Sending lotâs of love to the 3 of you xxâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸đ
He hasnât passed away - though it sometimes feels like it đ thank you â¤ď¸
Iâm so upset for you Nicola I wish i could give you a hug please take care life is so short to be sad and heâs not worth giving space in your head for really is he
My grandson father walked out on him 12 years ago and has never been seen since
Best thing that happened xxâ¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸â¤ď¸
Very best wishes, you will get through this. Xx
Thank you x
Good luck!
Sorry i haven't a clue whats happened, did i miss something?
Iâve linked the first video in the description box, if you want to watch that âşď¸
â¤
Yesss đĽđĽđĽđĽ
You are very bright and disciplined, you deserve a well payed job. Coaching and advice for free through the Dave Ramsey solutions CZcams Chanel and website. I'm in healthcare so not your field, but I can appreciate your many, MANY! transferrable skills.
Thank you đ
Nicola, you are a beautiful woman, intelligent, and have a very loving soul. You are enough. Never doubt it. The actions of others do not diminish your worth or loveability. What they do and say is all about them. * I wish you many good days. * Spend a little time with Diane in Denmark on CZcams. She has a brilliant (very doable) way to hone your daily routine to make your life easier with daily baby steps as you walk out of the darkness back into the light of your life, your brain and your home will feel better. (trust me on this). Diane has helped thousands of women, including me. * I am hoping you feel strong enough not to withdraw. Please shine your light, spread your arms out and grab hold of life, make new friends - it doesn't take money, just a phone call and a cup of tea. You are right, you probably need to move to a place you can earn a living. Bigger cities have more services and help for mothers with children, after school care, etc. Ask around, and answers will come. * If you add this to your channel, we would be glad to help - Set up a ko-fi account, and add the link to your videos. Others have posted something like this: "If you'd like to leave me a tip ko-fi.com/(your channel name will show here). There are no fees for ko-fi!! Philia.
I will look at her account - thank you for the suggestion âşď¸ and I have a buy me a coffee link which I think is a similar thing?