DRAMA | It's Them! Or is it ME???
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- čas přidán 20. 08. 2024
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My mother always told us " when someone does something bad to you , never forget the good they did to you ."
Whenever I am caught up in such a situation , I always remember her words . This pulls me back from reacting immediately and creating a drama and also gives me time to think about the situation.
Love this! Thank you for sharing!! I will be sharing on my Snapchat! Words of Wisdom from Mom!!
That's so sweet of you . And yes I found it.
That’s a good, thoughtful piece of advice. I like it. And it seems to touch base on forgiveness, as well.
So true ! One of my friends, who always boasts being "sincere", throws really nasty remarks at other people's faces, f.i. "you wore that jumper last year , aren't you fed up ?" Or : "You've put on weight! ". Or, to me : "Oh no, not wearing pink again !". But : when I couldn't get an appointment with an eye doctor urgently, she called a friend of her husband ( - who's nice, opposites attract - ! -) and the Head of the most renowned eye clinic got me an appointment 2 days later ! So she saved my eyesight. So you see, nobody's all bad or good, and eventually I just laugh at her remarks. And she's very cultivated and very generous, volunteering into lots of charities. I might miss them one day if she moves to another town, who knows ?Great advice, thks again. ,
My mom ALWAYS, ALWAYS told me the same thing. If it wasn't for these words, my friend and I would be on our separate ways. She is very negative ALL THE TIME and she is very sarcastic especially about other people's appearance. She makes comments such as: "Yea you look nice, but your nose is still big." This is absolutely unacceptable and does not fit with my believes on how to treat others. However, she took some days off from work just to help me move to another town when none of my family members were able to. She helped me drive more than 15 hours. She helped me clean my place and gave me her support when I was all alone in the new town. Therefore, I always keep these powerful words in my brain. "Always remember the good people have done for you!!" because you never know, they MIGHT save your life. Blessings to all of you! 🙏🏼
I'm 25 now and it's so hard for me to separate, when I have to listen and when I shouldn't care. I would love you to go deeper into this topic.
Thank you! Watch my Snapchat, today! I go further!
Excellent video, Tracy. As women, we are given mixed messages. We are told to “be ourselves” and not “care what others think”, and that’s exactly how I went through most of my adult life. But I like to always improve myself, and in my later 40’s I really started examining myself and found there really were ways to improve my attitude, outlook and behaviors. Sometimes we really NEED to care about what others think...Unless we live alone on an island, and most of us don’t!
Great insight, Adele! I completely agree. It has to be a well-rounded balance. Thank you for contributing! Cannot wait to meet you in person!!!
Tracy nails it again! Thank you. I love these self-betterment videos you create.
Thank you, Lara! Love the 'self-betterment' ... great word!! God Bless!
This video is spot on!!
I agree 100%. We need to look within ourselves because sometimes the things that annoy us the most are things we see in ourselves.
If I’m really bothered by someone , maybe they are shining a light on something I don’t like about myself!
Some people are not as pleasant as others , but either way , looking within is key!!
This is powerful..... I will be shearing it with my daughters....thanks
I agree with your suggestions. I find myself telling my kids “ only focus on changing yourself.” Once we realize that we can only control ourselves it’s really freeing! Creating drama causes so many regrets 😩.
Thank you!!!
Dawn
This video is really helping me try to understand my relationship with my daughter in law💕 I want to be the best I can be, because I love her and she doesn't believe me. I understand WHY, its me. Not her. Thank you!😘
After this week I had to search for this video and rewatch it!! It is totally THEM though not me! Lol, I will keep my mouth zipped and just carry on!! Love you girl, Merry Christmas!
Thank you Dawna! Glad you watched again and it solididfied things. Yes, some people, you just have to zip your lip with. They are not worth our time. Merry Christmas!
My mom constantly talks, interrupts and then starts talking about herself. I finally gently confronted her about it. She tried to be better but I think she is compelled to talk. Some people can’t tolerate quiet. It’s really annoying so I have to limit my time with her sadly. It’s teaching me to be a better listener. I think the best gift we can give is to listen.
Listening is a pertinent skill and one that will serve us well in both our personal and professional life. On the other hand, often we need to set boundaries with a person in order to have a healthy relationship for both parties. If your mom is experiencing loneliness, perhaps if she has lost your dad or husband ... it may explain her need to express herself.
Tracy Hensel she has always been this way. She is a widow but isn’t lonely.
Hi Tracy- Hope you are well. I wanted to let you know that this is one of the most candid and powerful videos from you. I go back to it from time to time. Hope it reaches more people as the message will resonate with so many. It is easy to point the finger at others but how many of us look within to see what we are showcasing to the world? Keep up the EXCELLENT work!!!
Wow! This was amazing! So well done! Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, could benefit from watching this video! Quality content!!!!
Thank you, Darcy!!
This is exactly what I needed this morning!! It’s always easy to blame others for their actions but it’s hard to look within for our own self for our own faults. Thank you for bringing this to light!!!
What an amazing woman you are Tracy! Very wise, am glad I have found you because you really made me change a lot the way I think on a lot of things...
Thank you, Carolin! God Bless! xo
I too have learned so much from Tracy and I'm always asking myself "Is this serving me."
Looking very chic with this hair style, Tracy :)
Perfectly spoken and timely and true! I’m sharing this with my hubby too!
This is what I love about your channel. You bring up such incredible topics, and they make me take a back seat and evaluate myself and how I handle things. We all have such a diverse situations in life and business, and I love how you and Amy brought to light "why". I also believe that it's the tone of how someone says it. Will definitely watch this video again.
Thank you, Rita! Beautiful words. I couldn't agree more! I had to share on Snapchat!! God Bless!!
I recently had surgery, so I'm getting caught up on videos/vlogs. This was an Amen moment vlog! My husband and I just two days ago, had a long talk about this very conversation! And Tracy some of the things or how you said it, made me LOL!
People take things to personally.I am perfecting the habbit of learning not to be offended..Offence opens the heart to anger.Peoples words and temperament usually expose the condition of their hearts..People barely acknowledge their flaws.One of my flaws,is tolerating people who have a very low level of awareness of anything.This is a downfall of having a sharp gift of decernment..I Love your videos.May you continue to be blessed and be a blessing to your followers.Shalom
Love this, Shalom! Thank you for sharing!! God Bless!
You are authentic and polished. Thanks for your videos!
My mom always says: We can't control other people but we can always control our reaction to them.
Love your mom's advice!
Eek that is spot on.. Feel convicted but hopeful thanks
Humility is key! Michael Jackson said it in a very outspoken/challenging song, "I'm looking at the man in the mirror...I'm asking him to change his ways.....if you wanna make the world a better place take a look at yourself and make a/that change...."....BUT you don't have to be a doormat......great info Tracy. Some people you just have to walk away from and keep a distance.....
Great message! Loved Michael, and that song! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this video Tracy, it’s so helpful. When you asked “when I’m having a conversation with someone, do I end up challenging something the other person has said”, I immediately thought about my mother. This is a habit I’ve observed in her since I was a child and wondered why she couldn’t see (or didn’t care) that it was frequently the root cause of her not being able to make friends or be more likeable. I always took caution to do the opposite with people and just listen or make supportive comments in most situations unless my advice was asked for or if I really felt it would be immoral not to speak up (those situations are actually pretty rare). So in a way I have followed some of your advice in this video and thinking about it now, that has worked out favorably for me in life. I now want to apply that to other situations where I’m struggling with someone else’s bad habits and see if it’s something I could consciously improve or avoid in my own life. Thanks again!
Such a great video!! Love ya Tracy❤️
Bravo Tracy! SO many people need to hear this message, including ME!!!
Love this, Cheryl! Taking ownership is such a powerful quality! I hope you watch my Snapchat today .... I branch off of your message! God Bless!
God just sent you to me today! Just went thru this and it is hard to let it go. I’m going to be thankful , handle a situation better , and move on.
Great video! It's hard to think that "it is you", but sometimes it is! LOL
Glad you’re on CZcams.
Great food for thought. I’ll be asking myself the questions you posed and concentrate on working on myself, instead getting frustrated with others. Thank you. This was a timely video for me.
This really makes you think. I always tell my children that you never know what someone is dealing with that could make them act out or say the things they say so give the person grace. You never know until you walk in their shoes.
You are right, Rebecca! That is a great message to teach your kids.
Thanks for this video, it is truly helping me through my self analysis journey. It is added to my arsenal hahah. I have truly been analyzing where I have been wrong and how to improve, it has been working. Especially with cutting out toxic people from my life and focusing on the good.
Love this, Morgan! And yes .... 'arsenal' ... lol, lol, lol
Tracy, you're awesome! Great! Great points! They are truly worth pondering if we're truly striving to be a better person overall. I wrote down the questions just to keep myself in check because I too would like to be treated kindly, but I recognize it has to start with me. Thanks for sharing! Oh, and did I mention...you're awesome! ♡
Thank you, Joyce! I love how you put this! God Bless! Have a wonderful weekend!
Right on Tracy! Thanks for letting us in into your world. People from all social classes can gain so much from your videos, this wouldn’t be possible 15 years ago! Wine Wednesday please ! 😊🥂
The In laws point touched a nerve !
I agree Tracy!!! I used to get upset too but you are right. It all starts with us. Great video!!!
I love listening to you! You are a real role model for me and I learn so much from you! Thank you, Tracy! :)
God Bless!
I have a hard time not judging other woman on their choice of spouses, especially husbands who have done sketchy things... and choosing to defend their behavior. Ugh. My bad.
It's easy to fall into that trap. The best thing to do is remind yourself that you may not know all the details. Sometimes 'others' husbands can be a reminder how good we have it with our own, too. It's all how you look at it.
I loved this video!!! Love your relaxed conversational vibe. More like this please! These are important everyday topics that I feel should be discussed more openly so we can all strive to own our “stuff” and learn to improve and self reflect in order to be the best version of ourselves. 💕
Great advice. If it’s not nice keep it to yourself. if it’s a genuine compliment by all means let the person know. People are not a Lifetime movie that we can direct on what to say or how to be. We are all different flowers that bloom in different ways and seasons. Perfect opportunity to pick the flower you choose or let it grow in the wild. In others words do you want to be right or be happy. I choose to be Happy 💐🌼🌺
Love the advice, Doris! Thank you for sharing!! I had to share on my Snapchat! Please check it out! God Bless!! xo
Learning moment- always looking within ourselves. Thank you Tracy:)
Wonderful video and advice. Makes you stop and reevaluate yourself. Thank you Tracy for the information. I love watching you ❤️.
Thank you, Terry!
I am getting better about not contributing to drama. I just raised a teenager, so I had to learn react the right way. Now, she is a happy newlywed. I still have to learn every day how not to react like I feel like reacting. I have realized that we all have flaws, and some of mine are annoying to others. Thank you for sharing with us.
Thank you for opening up and being transparent, Angela! I shared you insight on my Snapchat! God Bless!
Thank you so much. I feel special.
Tracy, This is one of the best videos I've ever seen!!! Looking inward is such good advice. It's up to each of us to hopefully be open to learn, grow, and enjoy life every day!! HUGS
Thank you, Linda! What a wonderful compliment. Enjoy the rest of your weekend!!
Loved this, Tracy! You have so much to share with us in these Life Skills areas.
Thank you. And the wink at the end is great! 😘
Thank you, Ann!!
TRACY!!!! Great job! I’m constantly looking inward like you said. I strive to get better all the time and find it easier the older I get. You and I are so much alike in our thought processes. Perhaps we will meet in person one of these days and boy that would be a blast! Love all you do girl! ❤️❤️❤️
Thank you, Gina!! I agree, I have gotten MUCH better, the older that I have gotten. I much rather be this person, than the one I was 20 years ago! I would LOVE to meet someday! I have met a good a handful of ladies. It is always such a wonderful experience! God Bless! Have a GREAT weekend!
A million thumbs up Tracy - TFS
Great colors on you. Starting to assess colors more now that you pointed out color palettes.
Great video, as usual, Tracy!
Wow
I should had watched this vid years ago.
So worth it. Me or them
Both I guess
Thank you Tracy.
Love the length and your hair in this video!!
Thank you Lisa!
Tracyyy, I LOVE YOU SWEET LADY!!! 😍❤️❤️
My mom passed away when I was 13, and I married at 16 and raised my brother. Well I'm 30 now, been married 14 years, and just gave birth to our first child. I wanted o give you a little bit of a back story of what all you've meant to me. Most of what I've learned about being a lady, or being classy, I've learned from you. You inspire SOO many of us, I he referred you to SOO many people, even people @church. I have seen all of your videos, I know this is long. I just wanted to say THANK YOU SOO MUCH, for being you, and for teaching me how to be a lady!!
Your advice is always spot on, I've learned everything from how to do my eyebrows, to how to properly take a call during a lunch date, how to make small talk, to what products to use. One of my favorite things you've ever said was "Great minds discuss ideas, small minds discuss people". (Even Eleanor Rosevelt said that)* I love you so much, ThankYou` so much for everything. I LOVE YOU. 😘❤️💕
I share all of your videos, your SOO BEAUTIFUL, and you're everything I think a lady should be. In my eyes your the perfect lady, your my ro-model!!!
I am the first one to comment, BC not only do I have the notifications on, but I have a separate alarm/reminder. You are so awesome, you're intelligent, honest and raw, down to earth, but classy at the same time. I look forward to every video, and watch it the second it's uploaded, no matter where I am. I am you're biggest fan, I know I am, I ADORE YOU!!
YOUR CHILDREN ARE SOO BLESSED, I know you're an awesome mother, and wife, they are all very blessed. I try so hard to be a proper Christian lady. I'm from ALABAMA. 🐘❤️🐘
(Roll Tide lol)*
I hope you get this, once again I love you SOO much!!! 💗💗💗
I hope you see this pretty lady, can you do another eyebrow video, showing how to do them, I remember the video of grooming them, but maybe an updated video, of applying product, and make up to them. You're so AWESOME, I know I've written a small novel. I don't comment on anything on CZcams, only you SweetLady!💁🏻💜💅
You are the SWEETEST thing! I read every word, twice!!! Thank you so much for sharing. Typing up a message like this takes time and vulnerability. God Bless you! It is messages like this that make me love what I do, and feel so connected to my viewers. I love that you are watching everything! We lead by example, and I do try to do that for my younger viewers. Your attitude and follow through are amazing! Keep it up, GIRL!!! Blessings! xoxo
Tracy, the way you talk is so classy! Does anyone else notice that😂 can you please make a video on the etiquette during conversation and maybe the classy way to talk😂😂😂
Thank you! I sure can!
Thank you Tracey had a bad day today you helped me to get out of it :)
So funny I came across this. Was just talking to a friend at the gym about going on vacation. I’m so excited but the first thing they said was “Wow, you really want to spend a whole week there?” It really took my excitement down a notch and I thought what a rude thing to say!! Made me think about how I’ll never do that to someone and I hope I didn’t in the past.
Oh my goodness, Debbie! I am sorry that someone took it upon themselves to be so rude! I sense a little jealousy on the commenters end. Glad you shrugged it off, and used it as a tool ... as what NOT to say to someone else!!
Hi Tracy, YES, yes, yes, yes. I've had to learn to stop being so judgmental of others. But after going to therapy for years, I learned that it was not so much about them but me. I would criticize others based on my own shortcomings. I have learned to love myself and change some of the behaviors that do not serve me. I am a work in progress, but getting better I hope. I was that person that had to always be right. Until I heard someone asking how does it feel to always be right? It feels kind of lonely.
What a great message, that many could learn from. Thank you for sharing! God Bless!
Loved this video! Really helpful.
Great video! Your advice videos are my favorite.
Loved this very insightful video, Tracy! Thanks!
Silence is key
I pretend to wear ear plugs
And smile with kindness
Took a lot of years to get there !
Wow! I needed this today. Thank you Tracy!
Excellent as usual. Will spend this weekend thinking about this and what my habits are how my bad habits can affect ppl. Thanks ❤️✨🙏
Love this, Tina! Taking ownership and accessing yourself! God Bless you! I hope you get the opportunity to watch today's Snapchat ... as I branch off of your message!! xo
This is an amazing video Tracy!👏👏👏 very helpful thank you!🌼
Excellent video. Thanks so much Tracy. Have a bless day!💐🕊🙏🏽
Yea we do sometimes. Great video!! I’ll learn NOW
Bullseye and two thumbs waaaay up, Tracy!
Thank you!
So true ... I have always said we have different tolerances for our family versus inlaws and step kids .
I try to avoid drama as I am super sensitive but then I get in trouble for avoiding ppl .
Thank you for sharing! I commented on this on Snapchat!! God Bless! xo
Yes I want to be better.
I love this!!🙏💞
Ok, according to all the questions you asked I have nothing to feel guilty about.I am a pretty compassionate human being and I get along with everyone and I find I am liked by many people. The questions you asked sound so much like an employee that I have been dealing with for 3 years now. The questions depict a person who is insecure and selfish...to say the least. What do you do when this personality type according to your questions, remains with this stinken attitude that it's all about her and no one else matters, yet I still have to show grace and work very closely with this person everyday. I have been trying not to loose my cool. According to these questions, I have nothing to change. So what do I do in this situation? Oh and mind you, no one likes her but she doesn't find anything she is doing is wrong. It is very hard to work under these conditions. She indirectly, humiliates me and laughs it off. I haven't been able to tell her how I really feel because she always plays the victim role and she knows EVERYTHING! I understand and agree that many times we must look at our own faults, but that is not the case for me. Please help.
Good Morning Elizabeth! I am sorry to hear about your co-worker. Please heat my reply on Snapchat!
This is such a great video. Thank you so much for your help!
I Love this topic,
Thank you Tracy 😍
Thanks a lot,it's an important topic for all of us.
Thankfully all no’s
Yes , I need to be better xx
Great content, thank you!
So spot on! Great advice
Very well said! I self reflect also😊
Wow, I have a lot of work to do on myself
Great video ☺️🌸
Precious video, Tracy. But, how can we stand the person who always interrupts to talk about herself, or the family member who really annoys us? How can we be so calm and how can we mind only our own business? Can you make another video on that??😊
Good Morning, Dimitra! Great questions. Please see my answer to these questions on Snapchat, this morning!
Tracy Hensel Dear Tracy. Thank you, thank you, thank you for your video on Snapchat. If you new my life situation you would understand that this message was sent by God. Could you please tell me which book is that? I wish God gives you every blessing - above and beyond your expectations.
I needed this. Thanks Tracey!!
Lety from Chicago 🌸
Leticia V I
Very wise comments. Thank you 💐
I’m 43 and still care a lot unfortunately.. thanks for this video!
Good Afternoon, Sylvia! I encourage you to watch my Snap-story today. I talk in more depth there on this exit topic!
Another great video!!!! ❤️
AMEN, AMEN, AMEN, Tracy, Great Video!!!
Thank you, Sandy! Enjoy the rest of your weekend! God Bless!
Tracy,
Thank you for this video. I have been trying to figure out how to handle a conflict between me and a future in-law without causing more damage and move forward. I’ve been burdened about what to say and don’t want to say the wrong thing and this was helpful to me when it came to the part where I need to look inward. I am who I am and they are who they are. I hope that I am able to have their grace and grow from the drama that I may have created.
Love this, Mandy! Thank you for taking the time to share! The fact that you have taken the first step and have taken ownership for your contribution, says a lot about what the future holds for you and your future in-law! Please watch my Snapchat today, where I share your comment and talk about it.
But Tracy what if I am always right ... can I think I am (hehe just kidding) Happy Friday! 💗😘
If 'why' questions are challenging, then what are some other examples that could be used?
Great video! Love your makeup 😊
Thank you, Angie!
I don’t find fault with others (I’m pretty laidback) but do you have any tips for when everyone seems to find fault with me?
Yes, you could start with my people person video and How to Have Thick Skin.
Could you please do a video on insight for feminine hygiene/grooming tips and tricks?? Am getting married May 25th and it would be very helpful to know better ways to do things!! Lol ;-)
Yes, Christa! I think that would be GREAT! Thanks for the suggestion!
Tracy Hensel Thank YOU!!! ♡
You are a beautiful well spoken and wise lady, I want to be like you when I your age. You're even prettier than many 20 year olds! It's actually making me curious to see your daughters and how they are behaved.
God Bless you!!
I always seem to attract people that walk on me and I want to know why a always cry when I try to be strong it happens all the time and I don't know how to change being a passionate person
Hi Terri! I am sorry that you struggle with this. I hope I can give some words that may help. Bear in mind that nobody can walk on you, unless you have allowed them too. Your statement would be more like this: 'I allowed so and so to walk all over me. I do this all the time by allowing others to walk all over me. I need to stop, today!"
I hope this helps you to see that it is not OTHERS than need to change, It is Terri that needs to change. Terri needs to say "NO" to those people and "YES" to herself. Also, please resource my video ... the POWER of NO! I hope this helps! God Bless!!
Thank you for your video, much helpful x
Good advice. Good video!
Hi Tracy. I love watching your video clips. I like what you wear. Can you pl share where do you buy such beautiful clothes from ? Pl make a video on good quality and reasonably priced wigs. Most ladies dont have good volume.
I can't help with the wigs. I didn't know people even wore wigs. I will share some more recent places I like to shop. You could always watch my shopping video from last year where I share all my favorite stores.
@@TracyHensel wow very glad to see your super quick response.
Excellent thoughts!!
Hi, classy ! May I ask why you tend to stop yourself from laughter?
Is it not Classy to laugh or have a hardy laugh?? Truly I'd like to know about you? Also if laughing isn't classy?
Always Listening &
Learning😀
Hi Debra! I would love to help you be a classy lady. Take advantage of my Black Friday Specials and let's get started on your journey today!
Great video!!!
Yikes i saw myself in some of the questions. so how do you change if its you?
Watch my videos and book a series of sessions with me. I will also be offering a course, soon on developing better personal skills.