GREETING ETIQUETTE FOR GENTLEMEN
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- čas přidán 9. 07. 2024
- In this video your host offers his thoughts on the etiquette to be followed when meeting a new acquaintance.
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#chapsguide #ashjones #mensstyle - Jak na to + styl
So many politicians look towards the next person in the line when they are shaking hands in a line
My pastor does this at the church door, very annoying .
Poor form - but what to you expect from these slimy individuals?
First of all, outstanding jacket, tie, pocket square and shirt, sir!
And a most useful and timely article. 😊
in my younger days, I knew a man with a limp handshake - thought what a wimp until I learnt he'd been injured 4 times in combat
One of the best jokes in King of the Hill is when Hank couldn't vote for a man with a limp handshake
Good evening, sir. About the greetings, the handshake is really king. Even in a very casual culture (Brazil, where I'm from), a handshake is the foolproof way to greet anyone, showing proper respect.
But I'll be dead before I ever think of that abominable effeminate "elbow bumps" you've mentioned. That's not a proper greeting by any way I look at it.
That aside, excellent video as usual. Keep up the good work, and greetings from Brazil 🤝🏼
Indeed the handshake is king. I cannot understand how people don't know how to shake hands or greet others. It shows a lack of social skills and etiquette. One should be thought these skills as a child, as I was, and it will always remain in good stead for the rest of one's life.
Beautiful coat!! Flannel? “Stand up before shaking hands” - great advice! This is 101, but it’s amazing how many people don’t do it.
i find it hilarious that you attempt to film outside... love it!! one of these days you will need to do it in some nice gardens with tulips. maybe you did already. LOL.
Many sales people jump straight to using your first name without seeking your permission. Being old fashioned, now also being old and having held senior positions both civilian and military, I dislike this very much. I often (but not always!) find it difficult to counter without feeling myself (and being categorised?) a 'colonel blimp'. Having lived abroad for a number of periods until recently I believe this a particularly British trend although I've not spent time in the USA where I suspect it started.
Something I've been thinking about watching old movies or listening to interviews with men who grew up in the 1940s, etc. They all called their former Bosses, friends, co workers. They all knew their last names, used Mr. So and So. Introducing people by there last names seems to have gone completely gone out the window.
Good points, Ash. In Japan, they prefer a 'limp wristed' handshake, as a firm handshake would be seen as 'over-bearing'.
Also, in the Arab world, you always use your right hand, as the left in the one they use to 'wipe themselves' with (quite literally).
I like the Japanese, they have style and honour, but the handshake is excellent. The Muslim hand on heart is very classy.
Great analysis, Ash
TY Ash for your perseverance.
Hey Ash. If I were to see you on the street my go to move would be a hug. Although we've never met and you don't know me, you're a valuable person in my day at this time. I hope if some fan meets you on the street, you'd understand their affection to you.
That being said, I concur that a handshake is the go to move.
I’d take that as a huge compliment sir. After I’d recovered from the shock!
In Spain, where I live, it is common and accepted to kiss and be kissed twice by women who meet you for the first time. Age and status does not matter. I'm used to it now but for a long time it amazed me. I came to realise that it was a a lovely and open gesture. Similar kisses happen with my male Spanish in-laws and close friends. New male acquaintances make do with a handshake. Everyone is keen toi itroduce themselves in an affectionate and open manner which I have come to appreciate. Not very British but good fun, to be honest. It is an immediate ice-breaker.
I am a handshaker, but not a hugger (apart from my wife). It always makes me feel awkward. And to prevent this I stretch out out my arm and hand really firmly, so that nobody comes up with the idea of hugging me.
Thanks
Many thanks sir.
Thank you, Sir. Wonderful video.
Thank You for the Video 😀
Interesting video, Ash - thanks!
Hugging is just for my wife.
Never feels comfortable with anyone else.
Awkward, as I live in Germany where it is almost standard practice.
I find that in a strange culture,hesitating to see what the other person wants to do works well. A lot of folks are Westernized enough to shake hands. In the middle east, particularly if the other person is female, right hand on heart and a nod are used. In Thailand, hands together (prayer mode) and a slight bow works. Hands up about chin or mouth high. Higher if the person is higher in social rank or is a religious (Buddhist) personage.
Desmond Morris wrote a great book called "Bodytalk" which explores all human gestures including greetings around the world. Well worth reading. Some Western gestures are actually obscene in other cultures.
With ladies, I’ll shake hands by grasping the ladies fingers. I won’t give a lady the same handshake that I’ll give a man. And if I lock eyes with a lady and we are not greeting, I’ll acknowledge her presence by bowing my head with a smile. If the lady is somewhat dear to me and we could not hug or kiss, I’ll add a hand kiss with the handshake.
Thanks!
Thank you sir.
Care must be taken, as greeting traditions vary considerably with location, ethnicity, and traditions. The firm, European, handshake you describe is taken as a sign of aggression in a lot of Africa, where the handshake is almost just a light touch. Here in South Africa it's a common culture clash. The other big one is standing when greeting someone. The tradition in much of Africa (and Asia) is to remain seated when greeting a superior (your boss, or someone older and senior) to show you are below them, literally and figuratively.
Crocodile Dundee Grope Greeting
Something I see very often in the US business world is the fist bump. This started with the pandemic as handshakes were nearly banned from life.
‘Banned’. Ridiculous. Nobody ‘banned’ anything. It was discouraged b/c it could contribute to passing a communicable disease at a time when that was a significant concern. Stop with the ‘banned’, makes you sound like self-pitying, middle aged, white man who’s always searching for evidence that he’s oh-so put upon.
Looking great today Ash
Thank you!!
Good advice, Ash. I'll add a couple of things. First, don't offer to shake hands with someone not in a position to return it. For example, if you are at a restaurant and pass a table with some people you know and you stop to say hello, if they introduce you to someone else at the table, just wave and say hello, or some other casual greeting. Don't put them in the position of having to stand to shake your hand. This goes as well for a group of people at the first meeting, like coming into a party - "Hey folks, this is my friend Ash." Save the handshake for personal interactions.
Second, offering a hand to a stranger when there is no reason to presume they will take it. If someone I don't know approaches me with their hand out, I'll just stand there. First offer a reason why you are approaching them, and establish justification for a formal greeting.
"Excuse me, aren't you Ash, from The Chap's Guide?"
"Yes I am."
"Ah, I'm James Bond. We exchanged emails about pocket squares, how do you do?" (Offer hand.)
Also, I agree with you about hugging. I reserve that for close friends and family.
Good episode, quite an interesting subject. In Iceland, where I live, we only ever use surnames when we talk about someone by their full name. Aside from that it is just first names and nicknames. So whenever I go abroad it's a bit of a challenge to remember not to address someone by their first name.
And kudos on the outfit. I would have thought such a expressive jacket and such a vocal tie would upstage each other but in this instance they work very well together.
Where did you get the Jacket please ? Chris
Can you let me know in your next video please
What about shaking hands and holding it briefly and then momentarily clasping with other hand? I have done this occasionally with people I know well but who I haven’t seen for a while. Hugs out save wife and sons.
My sentiments, exactly!👍
Greeting someone can make or break the meeting. I am a person greeter at my church.
Anyone coming thru the front church doors has to meet me. I never shake hands. In my
hands, I will have a church bulletins in my hand. I give them a cheerful greeting saying,
“Good to see you. Is this your first time here? May I know your name? Do you live close by
or what city? “. I then introduce myself and hand them a bulletin. No shaking hands. I will
make them feel welcome. As they walk away, I make it a point to remember their name.
I write name down on paper and give to the pastor. They will be welcomed by pastor.
They feel welcomed and special. I am 85, and do have a great memory for names and I
am a people person and know how to properly greet people and put them at ease. They
usually return for next Sunday’s church service. Being a good greeter is not hard if you
practice it. I have been doing this for about 15 years.
I do dress very sharp and look sharp, make eye contact and a proper compliment is always
appreciated by the ladies no matter their age. 😊
You can teach us all a thing or 2 sir. Thank you for sharing
Hugging of any form should be made illegal in the UK. A dry, firm handshake is the way ahead. Not too firm though. After meeting a delegation of US Marines once and shaking their hands, it felt like I needed to put ice on my knuckles Definitely be aware of social context. I would never proffer my hand in Japan unless the other person had done so first. What would you do if the handshake took an unexpected form? While visiting a regiment of the Sierra Leone army once, I was introduced to some junior soldiers and received an unexpectedly complex handshake which started normally but then changed into a thumb grip and ended in squeezing the arm just above the wrist. Having fumbled my way through the first, I then had to shake another couple of soldiers' hands and felt I needed to respect them by doing the same. I think I’d got the hang of it by the third one.
Hugging is for the football field not the high street.
Remember T-V distinction when speaking 👍
Hi Ash!
In my opinion, in today's world, probably the best default greeting is the fist bump (accompanied by a pleasant smile). That is particularly the true in this post-covid era. No situation springs to my mind where a fist bump would be inappropriate ... and it's certainly not something that is least likely to make the other person feel uncomfortable. Many people would be creeped out by being hugged by anyone less than close family members and loved ones.
In some situations, just a bit of a wave, provided it's accompanied by a warm smile, is absolutely fine.
I noticed the handshaking between the French as you described with your Belgian colleagues in RAF & really like it. When I try it in the UK it doesn’t really work very well as it’s not a UK custom.
Yes I am a handshaker - I was told to always greet my uncles & elderly males with a handshake. Greeting female executives during my career it has always been a handshake that feels weird for a male but is now part of life. Meeting the friends of my step0sons I was shocked when it was offered by these teenagers.
I have taught my son to handshake when meeting strangers and it still catches many out when he offers his hand in greeting. Good manners never die!
@@TheChapsGuide Excellent - I see older men who still appreciate this gesture.
Perhaps one word about who is going to extend a handshake first:
1. In business life it is always the higher ranking who extends the hand first.
2. When I am introduced in the company, I greet people in the order of rank from top to bottom.
3. In private life it is age before sex.
4. If you meet people of a similar age, the lady extends her hand first to greet you, so it is 'Ladies first'.
5. I know it isn't done in the UK but always take your other hand out of the pocket.
Interabout how I have been handkingesting thoughts. It made me think how to handle different situations. Another courtesy that I follow is not to offer a handshake to a lady, but to be prompt if she extends her hand.
Interesting thoughts about greetings. I learned some things that I can use.
In the business setting, always Mr. or Ms. if they are of higher rank. Never shake a women’s hand unless she offers it.
I never know if someone is trying yo shake my hand or do a "shake hug" combo. It's so awkward in casual situations.
A great video, Mr Jones, thank you. It would be interesting to follow the same line for a chap meeting a member of the fairer sex. I still retain some of the older forms of address for a lady. Thoughts, Sir?
The handshake nowadays has become more confusing than ever! As a man in his early 40s I have been witness to the evolution of the handshake from the “traditional” to the “fist bump“ to the “ I don’t even know what to call it” ect ect !!!!Many times two men will walk up to each other and it looks like they’re giving baseball hand signals because they don’t know what handshake the other is going to use. To boot the handshake turns into the hug while still holding one hand and wrapping the arm around the other chap. I miss the more simple days of the traditional style( yes, I’m talking about the 90’s🤣)
Very good video! As usual… Excuse my boldness Mr. Ahs, but speaking of shaking hands, I have observed your wrist (as a good watch aficionado) and if I’m not mistaken, whisch is the first time you have worn your Nivada watch with rubber bracelet, while dressed formally. Change of tastes? Trying new experiences? Or simple coincidence? Impatiently awaiting an update on your horological thoughts and reflections.
A strong handshake, Ash
Big watch video coming on Saturday. Will answer your question!
No bro hugs. Don't touch me.
Even before the pandemic I always did and do a tiny little bow after and followed by eye contact, since the hanshake fell a bit out of fashion in and following the pandemic I've taken to go what I think of as "full prussian", maintaining the bow but adding a klicking of the heels.
For some weird reason no one ever had shown even moderate confusion in the face of this somewhat archaic behaviour...😅
Must be Germany...😉
It certainly has some similarity with the "Ash-salute".
Hugging *really* isn't for me, no matter how much it becomes customary - heck the last time I hugged someone not of my family (including of course my eternal partner) was my best friend when I first saw him after my NDE... I'm not a hugger😉... well, rarely my 😺...
Best regards
Raoul G. Kunz
Best regards
Raoul G. Kunz
I rather think that the purposeful bow is a wonderful act of chivalry and courtesy to the person that you are greeting. I tend to nod my head in an understated bow when shaking the hand of a lady. It works well and many ladies feel somewhat flattered by the act. I just wish I had learned that tactic when I was still in my lady-chasing stage of life (long since defunct now!).
I really would like to meet Mr. Jones and know, that he and other gentlemen attend a meeting in London in September this year, but I can´t make it. I would like to know, if Mr. Jones wouldn´t mind, if I visited him even, when there is not any special meeting. I mean, just like that. I would like to do that, because I am really big fan of traditional life style and looking for a group of people, who share my mindset and men like Ash or Raphael from Gentleman Gazette are great candidates.
Mr. Jones, if you read this, I will be glad, if you reply to my message.
Thank you
Good day sir, I regularly have meet-ups in London and at other events here the opportunity arises - I do hope to catch up with you at one of these events in the future. There will be another, open meet-up in London on the week of the formal dinner (6th Sept), so keep an eye on my community page for more information as it become available. Hope to meet you there.
I am one of those who found it to be a relief not being forced to shake hands with people during the covid pandemic. Is it still ok to avoid the handshake to try and avoid catching a cold for example? Or is there a risk of insulting people?
Yes, I think would perhaps be seen as insulting to avoid a handshake on such a principle. You are equally likely to catch a virus standing next to someone in the street, as by shaking a hand. Such an aversion to a normal human activity may be perceived as being overly cautious (unless one is dealing with a severe immune deficiency issue) and even straying into the OCD area. Personally, I would not be shaking the hand of someone I do not trust to exercise good hygiene, so such thoughts do not cross my path, but worth mentioning sir, thank you.
When I quit drinking my hands stopped shaking. Now when I meet people, I completely disrobe, come to attention and sing God Save the Queen. It leaves a lasting impression.
I would never use profanities - I don’t think it’s Gentlemanly.
You carnt go wrong with a good old handshake , I blame the French for all this hugging 🙄🙄🙄
Hugging is mostly for family and friends.
Much appreciated, good video - but.
Gentlemen don't use profane language - ever. Not around women, not around children and most definitely not among each other.
It's immature, reveals a lack of character, a lack of linguistic proficiency and a lack of composure and spiritual integrity.
If other people break etiquette around you, this is *not* a go-signal for you to drop to that level.
Imagine your children, whom you punish for using profanity around you in your own house, then hears from other men how their father uses profanity when he is out of the house ''in secret'' among his male friends and co-workers.
Just shameful.
Real world reality check sir - language is just a collection of words, none are harmful, they are just words. There is no shame in using words, unless those words are intended to hurt someone else in some way.
I think you have a CZcams channel as an excuse for just to dressing up😂😂
I think I dress up to have an excuse to have a YT channel.
Hand shake almost went the way of the dodo 🦤 during the pandemic. It has made a big comeback here in the USA and i am glad to see its return. Nothing better than a firm handshake and eye contact whem greetings someone. Cheers Ron