Alpharad tells "the cocaine story"
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
- Tried my hand at cutting down and editing Jacob's retelling of this story during his shiny pokemon nuzlocke
00:00 Part 1
12:00 Part 2
15:50 Part 3 & Epilogue
19:25 Bonus Stories
Original Date: March 29 (The vod isn't currently up on CZcams)
"He's Brazilian, he loves Pokemon, he's single..."
_"he's new in town..."_
7:02 for those wondering
Bro I thought of the same thing
_Imma _*_push_*_ 'em._
lol ahh... funny that these references comes from a known cocaine addict too. maybe not ironic, but poetic.
And he skateboards
the first red flag is saying zoro has one of the saddest backstories
Man has watched 2 One Piece arcs and thinks he knows what he's talking about
i like zoros backstory but it's not really sad it's just kinda sick
To be honest, I think only Usopp has a happier backstory than Zorro:
Luffy - Believes one of his brothers is dead, and then watches his other one get a hole punched through his chest
Nami - Her adopted mother is shot in front of her, then she is enslaved for 10 years
Sanji - Abused by his father for years. Runs away from home after his mother dies. Almost starves to death only to find the guy with the bigger sack of food actually ate his own leg because he gave all the food to Sanji
Chopper - Abused by everyone for his entire life, when someone finally cares for him he accidentally poisons the man.
Robin - Everyone she ever knew got murdered in front of her when she was 8, then a huge bounty was put on her head causing her to have trust issues for decades.
Franky - His creations were stolen and used to frame his father figure, who was then executed because he used his pardon to save franky instead of himself.
Brook - 50 years of floating around as a skeleton, haunted by the memories of his dead crewmates
Jinbei - Watching the horrors of slavery against his people, followed by his mentor dying because of oppression (he was shot returning Koala to her parents) combined with being unable to give up his hatred of humanity for what they did to his people.
@@m05513usopp dad left him and his mom died of an illness what do you mean his backstory was happier
@@m05513ace getting donuted was part of luffys story not his backstory.
> Meets a cocaine dealer
> Lies to him continuously
> Promises to go to his party
> Comes back the next day
> Promises to go to his party AGAIN
> Goes back on his promise
> Comes back the NEXT DAY after lying to the drug dealer
> Continues to go back to shop to look for him
*HOW IS THIS MAN NOT DEAD?*
Plot armor
He is the protagonist
do you think drug dealers kill people?
@@Quarren_well, if you don't pay them, it's not impossible
@@Quarren_ you wouldn't want to be caught assuming they don't
"Ok that must be the end of the story"
*checks the time and sees 12 minutes out of 24*
"Oh god"
had this several times through out the video 😭
had this at 7 minutes 😭😭😭
DUDE
I understand Alpharad was telling the story, but I was just waiting for the part where he ends up dead in an alley
alpharad is a living breathing example of "live by the content, die by the content"
Alpha and steveo are 2 ends of a “for content” spectrum
I love how Alpha gets to the part where the bouncer says "Hey girl..."
And all of chat is going:
OH NO
OHHH NOOOO
I like that Alpha has developed the "All my close friends are women sensor"
It truly is a valuable sensor to have. I usually only need to use it when I go out clubbing with a bunch of my friends, because the quickest and sometimes only way to stop a bothersome guy at a club is with another guy.
This is crazy cause it's the cocaine story but it doesn't start like that. So the entire time I'm on the edge of my seat like WHEN DOES THE COCAINE COME INTO THIS?????
Like halfway through I'm like "this is the craziest story I've ever heard and it hasn't even gotten to the part with cocaine yet"
honestly the cocaine was the least shocking part of the story at that point
@@youremeraldstar I can't believe I can say "Calling it the cocaine story is underselling it"
chill it snowflame
@@cracarlos_au5757. COCAINE FLOWS IN MY SYSTEM
Sure this owner/bouncer I've lied too is giving me the ick and making me worry for my friends safety...... but I got to get that zoro figure though
As soon as he said the bouncer called them "females" i instantly went "OH HELL NAH THATS A BLOOD RED FLAG"
the cocaine wasn’t???
@@birdbrain9280that hadn’t come in yet
@@Tofu_KikiHe mentioned it during the requirements to go to the party (I think)
@@defnotnaruto222 yeah alpha mentioned that I ment like in the story atm
@birdbrain9280 In LA that's not the most crazy thing
at best he was a cokehead but like.. at worst i was lowkey getting trafficker vibes hearing that
yeah no, everything about the way he talked about and treated women was like...oh no. especially the 'you can get in if you have money, drinks, weed or women, and you have two' part. like, if i'm deliriously optimistic, i could say that's him trying to hook up his friends in misogynistic fashion...but i. highly doubt that tbh.
@@wyawarD9677 Especially if they had to FLEE THE COUNTRY, like cokes bad, but thats like a hiding away crime
Not a FLEEING THE COUNTRY crime, in my opinion
@@ComicalOrangeVR
If you're an immigrant, ESPECIALLY a non-citizen, every crime is a fleeing the country crime, LOL. You already have the international connections
“At best he was a cokehead” is very funny out of context
listening to this story makes me feel Jacob is the kind of guy who's aura makes people want to come and talk to him, for better or for worse...
He's an irl incensce
It’s that introvert aura, it draws extroverts in like flies to honey
Jacob seems like someone who would be so much fun to be around because he just has that Yakuza game main character finds a side story energy
no fr every moment of this was a yakuza side story that keeps going, and every time you see a new checkpoint and go "wait, its not over?"
I admire Jacob's ability to lie to people just to keep them talking for his own entertainment.
This has also deeply depleted my trust in random strangers that I strike up conversations with. Probably not a bad thing.
to be fair, he is by definition a good looking guy
I legit just kept going "huh? Huh?! HUH?!?!?!" the entire time. That guy was just so fuckin ridiculous I never saw what happened next. 10/10 story, would listen to it for the first time again
so glad that jacob does not do story time because "I got sold cocaine" would be a interesting title to see
Insane to look this up after hearing about it mentioned in a Mongy Monday VOD, and see the same Jack Black pic that was shown during that VOD show up in this clip.
ive heard it mentioned so many times aswell but literally same, was watching the same vod and was like i gotta know what this is about now lmfao
today's moral is: lie to strangers - it's funnier that way and there's basically no consequences!
lmfaooooo that was my comment that asked him to retell the story!!!! hahaha
Thank you for your service
the "all my friends are women sensor" is real btw i can confirm
if you live in the midwest you have this for both genders, because sexual assault is rampant there.
@@derpythean-comdoge8608 i have both i just have less dude friends than women friends so its harder to confirm lol
"you just come up with that" is a crazy line in response to "can't live with em can't live without em"
Yeah, that was a trafficking thing.
100% the "private viewing of the anime figures" gave such bad vibes after everything that happened
This story is a fucking roller coaster
yeah, alpha. only those 3 options. Not the secret fourth option where the dealer was high as a kite after the party from the night before and siphoning his own stock... XD
That’s the addict option
tbh since he lives in L.A. I'm genuinely shocked that this isn’t a common occurrence
This man is willing to risk his life for the bit/a good story
I'm 10 minutes into this wondering in horror how the fuck cocaine fits into this disaster
10:03 WE'RE JUST GONNA GLOSS OVER THAT???
This is the only video I can find of it and it's really messy
czcams.com/video/3Pw0L8xTPIA/video.html
But yeah he got to play Among Us with Jack Black and brought Altrive/Pikmin 4 with him.
He's also said that before recording while they were waiting for everybody else to set up he asked Jack Black who his favorite animatronic from FNAF was and it was Springtrap.
5:30 top tier question
"how do you know about this country"
That story is just a conversation with an actual crazy person…
but jakob just wants to fly to the sun
My man was fortnite dancing at the sun with this story. So many times I'm like HOW CAN THERE BE MORE
I didn’t think this would be worse than the heroin story
The what
@@IneffableMasquerade it was in some episode of How Did We Get Here (podcast he did for a year or two with Coney), one of the early ones im pretty sure
@@IneffableMasquerade In a Mongy Monday I heard the very short version of the heroin story which was something like, "Sometimes, when you grew up sheltered and you're 16 and your friends offer you weed, you say yes, and it isn't actually weed."
As soon as he asked “you like on piece?” Immediate red flag
"Yeah this guy tried to sell me cocaine. Oh by the way I played Among Us with Jack Black!" JACOB WHAT THE FUCK.
I’m 7 minutes in and this is an already insane story and I haven’t gotten to the cocaine part yet
I was there when he originally told the story but even hearing it the 2nd time it felt just as surprising for everything
Idk why but the part where the anime store cokehead is DJing a terrible remix of Sorairo Days is so funny to me
Holy shit love this, Jacob really needs to start a story time channel with his story telling skills
ive never seen a man more skilled in the art of "yes and"ing than Alpha
this is perhaps the single most story of ever
Every single time I hear a story like this, I feel vindicated in my decision to be a shut-in.
this story had more twist than a hurricane. thank you for your work.
I’m 7:30 in and the cocaine story has yet to feature cocaine. I am terrified.
This story was wild start to finish. It has more twists than any rollercoaster someone can make on the sims.
Alpha. This comes from another decent looking, bisexual, Sagittarius male, who only hangs out with his best friends who are girls and is constantly torn between either “this could kill us all” and “how good could this story be.”
I must say, bravo.
Nah just kiddin mate needed more close calls for which you would’ve felt bad about 2 minutes after evasion.
Solid 8/10 keen for the meth story.
i reckon Jacob could tell any story and I'll just instantly believe it
This has the same energy as Vinny's Cousin's Club
"I walked into a random store and got offered cocaine" god please grant for me what you do for those who lack desire
Normally when someone says "I've got women" they're talking about sex. When they say "I've got men" they're talking about war.
i felt so relieved when he said "we leave"
There are people in your life that you will meet that for some reason just attract the weirdest people and interactions. I have a friend like that and I didn't believe him until i started witnessing these interactions first hand when hanging out with him. I feel like Jacob is also one of those people.
Sketchiest sketchy person in the world
I was like "Wow that was a wild story!" And then I realized there still was 14 minutes to the video.
BRO IM NOT EVEN HALF WAY THROUGH AND IT KEEPS GETTING WORSE 😭😭😭😭
Never met a person who says "females" that isn't a massive creep lmao
21:49 the person in chat saying Jaiden could animate this could honestly not be more right omfg
HOLY CRAP I WOULD HAVE NEVER CAME BACK TO THAT STORE, AND IF I INTERACTED WITH THE GUY TWICE, I WOULD MOVE.
"I have the "all my close friends are women sensors" are going off" is such a real sentence ngl
“It’s like a one piece arc” the sign it’s gonna be an amazing story
i remember during like a mongy monday or something you mentioned in the chat that you edited this story. i was probably going to look for it but it's cool that i got recommended it
Oh I didn’t realize it was getting recommended to people now, that’s awesome
It got pushed to me!@@malachioom
Got recommended to me as well
I would so watch Alpharad animated story-time in the style of his early challenge runs
The fact that I knew that exact anime store from the photo inside is so funny. I can confirm that it’s really fucking sketchy.
The part at the end confirms Jacob is a magnet for random events like in Rockstar games
It's fun to see not socially awkward peeps getting so weirded out that they cannot compute and find a way to respond.
Jacob my guy love you but you gotta stop asking your friends to endanger themselves for the bit. If any of them had said “yes” that could’ve gone horribly.
The twist and turns keep fucking coming
"It's a different fuckin' logo"
they look drastically similar, you can't really blame him
The bold-faced lie of being a One Piece fan and telling someone you’ve NEVER heard of it, all while waiting to enter an ANIME STORE🤣
This video made my anxiety spike *several times*
Just when you think you're out, they pull you right back in
crazy how men just don't understand how easily they make women uncomfortable
If you think about it it's probably a good thing that people like this are so bad at hiding that they're like this
they absolutely do. they get off on it
i laughed out loud, thanks for posting this
I felt myself physically recoil many times throughout this story. Holy shoot
the vibes of this story remind me of the time i was taking the subway home late at night and a guy offered me a high five. in my mind, all i thought was "aw sick, a free no strings attached high five". we high five, i take like one step, and the guy says, "hey man, you wanna score some yayo?". in the moment, all i manage to think is "gee, i wanna get home and go to bed" but what i say is "aww no thanks man, I'm all good" before getting on the next train. belatedly, on my ride back, i check my dying phone because it occurs to me - what even is yayo anyways? one google search later: cocaine. it's a nickname for cocaine and i didn’t even realize or intuit i was being offered drugs until minutes after the fact.
The pokemon music throughout this weirdly fit the situation and I think it really ties it all together
I believe it was Hand Unit who said "Don't forget Saturday! You want them all to be there."
As a guy with mostly female friends, other guys say that I’m a “player” is never not funny to me.
Great video editing! You have the skills! :P
16:47 either the dudes high already or there’s a clone
It was crazy listening to this live.
I firmly believe that the deaIer was trying to date r-word Jaiden and Diana
just got this in my recommendations, this is beautiful
11:11 cocaine part
this right here is what we call in my country when someone is being "gaga"
Now, was this before or after the whole "Someone broke into Alpharad's house, forcing him to move" situation?
ohio state is OSU anyway 😭 bro did not know what college he went too (average osu student)
Actually, there are two different, but similarly named universities in Ohio.
There's Ohio State University (OSU) and Ohio University (OU).
@@nicholask7566 my b 🙏
I was going to say “this guy sounds a lot like my roommates’ friend.” Like minus the cocaine and fleeing the country, it’s spot on. I hate that guy, but I’m now realizing my friends let him stay around because he would say and do insane shit all the time
What a story! (Checks video timeline) oh. Oh noooooo.
Smiling friends aah interaction
May i point out Nepal has extradition so... since he posted where he went he likely got shipped back
I would've been trying to mess with this guy immediately. no way i'm letting someone make less sense than me
"you're a good looking guy"
"honestly you too. you'd look great on a cross"
alpharad will literally do anything for content
"we leave" 11 minutes left
HOW ARE THESE GUYS REAL?? HOW ARE THERE REAL PEOPLE LIKE THIS?
He needs to do story time?
He did, Story 4 Glory, how could he forget?
5:08 NORTH CAROLINA MENTIONED!!!!!!!!! WTF IS A CONSISTENT WEATHEJR PATTERN
Someone (if possible in a jaiden in the multiverse) SOMEONE HAS TO ANIMATE THIS STORY
only reason to go would be if you're on a podcast
Finally hearing about the cocaine part but there’s still 12 minutes left. WTF
If you guys didn't listen to How Did We Get Here? you wouldn't know about the Heroin story (this is not a joke)