New job, 14th day. Very hard to hear what I’m doing wrong from their perspective. My old job I was at the top of my game. 20 years of experience. Now I feel like I’m vulnerable and trying to prove my worth all over again.
I've found starting over is rarely easy but I've tried to keep in my mind that even though I know my worth, it takes time for others to validate my words based on seeing me in action (resume'/application/verbal discussion). And being open to processing feedback that's given and going back to clarify or present how to make it better align with their needs - carries huge weight. Hang in there.
This speaks to me sooo much. It is damn hard, especially thinking back and looking how knowledgeable, specialised and secure I was. I tell myself it's a process and as I got there I'll get where I want to be, I just forgot of how it felt to do this from scratch!
I think even if their criticism is unfounded, it's still useful to thank them and ask them how they think you could improve, in a neutral way. That takes them out of criticism mode and into problem solving mode. It coukd give you useful feedback and/or it couod even shift there perspective. Garanteed they aren't expecting that response. Now they have to think about it and think about what they *do* want instead of what they *don't want*-- they might even realize for themselves nothing will make them happy, or saying their expectations out loud might make them realize that they are unrealistic. But... you have turned it around on them and thanked them and definitly left then without the power to hurt you. You might even turn a friend into an enemy or earn some respect, or at least neutralize a thorn in your side. Even annoying, negative, overly critical people *just want to be heard* and people will get their needs met by negative means or positive ones. If you make them feel heard and respected, they may be less inclined to criticize just for negative attention.
I started new job few months ago and my new boss always criticised me. She never gave you a praise or positive feedback but only criticism. Sometime it is hurt and felt useless and disappointments. I am appreciated your video and gave me a sense of understanding and look in different angle. When I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I realised she wants me be the best and she is teaching me to be better. Then I fell less upset. More grateful.
I still need to work on this. I do not want to hurt the ones I love and feel like they can’t trust me or come to be about anything. I feel like this is a well lesson that we all need to learn. Thank you 😊
This was very useful. I have a friend who is headed in the right direction, but hates when I give him honest feedback that will maximize his success. He immediately goes on the defense and it normally starts an argument. I’m not telling him these things to hurt him I’m not in the business of killing dreams everything I tell him comes from the heart.
I get constructive criticism very often and it makes me feel like crap. Because I'm not like other people, I cant memorize things and catch up to things quickly. I might have ADHD or some type of brain problem but I am not medicated for it. There are people at my job in their 60s that perform better than me. It makes me feel so defeated, so sad that I want to be the best version of myself, I'm there every day, I don't call off, but I'm really bad at learning. I have always been . It makes me so depressed but I'm scared to see a psychiatrist because I see so many addicts around me , I don't want to be pill dependent but at the same time I know I might have no choice but do it. :(
It s been 3 weeks I have joined my new job. One of my collogues criticized me on mentioning that persons name in an email loop. I feel truly hurt even cried at the office place. After watching the video I realized that criticism is only way to grow. If we think we are right always there is no growth at all. 😀
How I tend to deal with feedback is defensive body language, even when I think I'm not doing that, and feeling very discouraged. So... that's why I'm watching all these videos and I feel more knowledgeable and I hope I can out all that I'm learning into practice!!
I have experienced both types of criticism and I agree my first reaction internally is to feel hurt and fear I had done something wrong and that I was in trouble. My outward reaction was defensive and angry at worst. Interestingly I have been learning to interact with life through Buddhist techniques and letting go of controlling the situation and observing it and myself which has helped tremendously with the emotional reaction inside me and the reaction toward the criticism. It helped to step back and allow the event to happen and observe. This helped to process the criticism and see the merit in it much easier.
Thank you so much. I'm always nice on the surface, but inside I rage about it. And when I hear Unconstructive criticism, I really go nuts on the inside.
This is very thorough and clear and simple - thank you 🙏 It was helpful. Today I received some constructive criticism. I actually did on my own exactly what was said here. I’m working on NOT feeling insecure, that may be the hardest part for me is to LOVE MYSELF through it instead of beating myself up about it. Even if I did handle it the “correct” way, loving myself through it is the hardest part for me 😊 You’re a GREAT speaker. TY
I just watched another video that was really good but I was wondering specifically how to ask what they thought I shouod do differently, and you answered that. Thanks!! "Ask how they think you can improve." ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I think the word "constructive" it the key here. I am criticised in my job and I do not find it constructive. I feel like I am not treated fair and it is hard for me behve without emotions or constructive in this case
I can take criticism from my teachers, mentors and bosses. Also from my coworkers and classmates. But I CANNOT take criticism from my parent's. I get a really bad feeling in my stomach when they critisise me. And I don't know why. And I would just love to know why.
I have gotten feedback regarding my personality being "too much" or "too big" or aggressive in the workplace. It's hard to hear that as I view myself as ambitious, driven, and passionate and I feel like I am being misunderstood.
a former principal and i did not have a good relationship. when i was evaluated he was dismissive and flippant. getting eval this week makes me worry because he was such a $(&(. his comments were based on fact that i questioned him
Ik I can’t take criticism or constructive criticism I get offended fast and yes ima go off on you even if you are trying to help me I just don’t like it and never will
New job, 14th day. Very hard to hear what I’m doing wrong from their perspective.
My old job I was at the top of my game. 20 years of experience. Now I feel like I’m vulnerable and trying to prove my worth all over again.
I've found starting over is rarely easy but I've tried to keep in my mind that even though I know my worth, it takes time for others to validate my words based on seeing me in action (resume'/application/verbal discussion). And being open to processing feedback that's given and going back to clarify or present how to make it better align with their needs - carries huge weight. Hang in there.
This speaks to me sooo much. It is damn hard, especially thinking back and looking how knowledgeable, specialised and secure I was. I tell myself it's a process and as I got there I'll get where I want to be, I just forgot of how it felt to do this from scratch!
Oh I kniw well what you feel. I feel the same way! It is so hard to deal with
Yes I don’t take criticism very well. This is helpful. Thank you
Neither do I, although I was in a meeting with the heads of our service last week and just took what they said on board, still had a crap afternoon.
Same
me either. !!!!
I think even if their criticism is unfounded, it's still useful to thank them and ask them how they think you could improve, in a neutral way. That takes them out of criticism mode and into problem solving mode. It coukd give you useful feedback and/or it couod even shift there perspective. Garanteed they aren't expecting that response. Now they have to think about it and think about what they *do* want instead of what they *don't want*-- they might even realize for themselves nothing will make them happy, or saying their expectations out loud might make them realize that they are unrealistic. But... you have turned it around on them and thanked them and definitly left then without the power to hurt you. You might even turn a friend into an enemy or earn some respect, or at least neutralize a thorn in your side.
Even annoying, negative, overly critical people *just want to be heard* and people will get their needs met by negative means or positive ones. If you make them feel heard and respected, they may be less inclined to criticize just for negative attention.
Great video. I'm ready to grow up and get out of my emotions
I started new job few months ago and my new boss always criticised me. She never gave you a praise or positive feedback but only criticism. Sometime it is hurt and felt useless and disappointments.
I am appreciated your video and gave me a sense of understanding and look in different angle. When I stopped feeling sorry for myself. I realised she wants me be the best and she is teaching me to be better. Then I fell less upset. More grateful.
I still need to work on this. I do not want to hurt the ones I love and feel like they can’t trust me or come to be about anything. I feel like this is a well lesson that we all need to learn. Thank you 😊
This was very useful. I have a friend who is headed in the right direction, but hates when I give him honest feedback that will maximize his success. He immediately goes on the defense and it normally starts an argument. I’m not telling him these things to hurt him I’m not in the business of killing dreams everything I tell him comes from the heart.
I just received feedback from my Ministry class and it was kind of tough to handle...I'm trying to look for motivational help and this video helped me
I get constructive criticism very often and it makes me feel like crap. Because I'm not like other people, I cant memorize things and catch up to things quickly. I might have ADHD or some type of brain problem but I am not medicated for it. There are people at my job in their 60s that perform better than me. It makes me feel so defeated, so sad that I want to be the best version of myself, I'm there every day, I don't call off, but I'm really bad at learning. I have always been . It makes me so depressed but I'm scared to see a psychiatrist because I see so many addicts around me , I don't want to be pill dependent but at the same time I know I might have no choice but do it. :(
It s been 3 weeks I have joined my new job. One of my collogues criticized me on mentioning that persons name in an email loop. I feel truly hurt even cried at the office place. After watching the video I realized that criticism is only way to grow. If we think we are right always there is no growth at all. 😀
This video needs more views. It is great. I also appreciate the comment section for relieving some pressure on all of us. :)
How I tend to deal with feedback is defensive body language, even when I think I'm not doing that, and feeling very discouraged. So... that's why I'm watching all these videos and I feel more knowledgeable and I hope I can out all that I'm learning into practice!!
I have experienced both types of criticism and I agree my first reaction internally is to feel hurt and fear I had done something wrong and that I was in trouble. My outward reaction was defensive and angry at worst. Interestingly I have been learning to interact with life through Buddhist techniques and letting go of controlling the situation and observing it and myself which has helped tremendously with the emotional reaction inside me and the reaction toward the criticism. It helped to step back and allow the event to happen and observe. This helped to process the criticism and see the merit in it much easier.
It all depends if I like or not the critics.
I am so grateful for this Video. He really knows what he is talking about and I feel so much calmer regarding my feedback call from a client
Thank you so much. I'm always nice on the surface, but inside I rage about it. And when I hear Unconstructive criticism, I really go nuts on the inside.
This is very thorough and clear and simple - thank you 🙏
It was helpful.
Today I received some constructive criticism. I actually did on my own exactly what was said here. I’m working on NOT feeling insecure, that may be the hardest part for me is to LOVE MYSELF through it instead of beating myself up about it. Even if I did handle it the “correct” way, loving myself through it is the hardest part for me 😊
You’re a GREAT speaker. TY
Thank you wise business man
This is great for me cos I tend to argue a lot and try to prove myself and my point at every criticism
thanks that's wonderful presentation
Big helpful for me to take criticism to being a gratitude in positive way
I just watched another video that was really good but I was wondering specifically how to ask what they thought I shouod do differently, and you answered that. Thanks!!
"Ask how they think you can improve." ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Thank you for the viedo. This information is very helpful to me and my friends. I will definitely share this video.
Thank you 🙏🏽
I think the word "constructive" it the key here. I am criticised in my job and I do not find it constructive. I feel like I am not treated fair and it is hard for me behve without emotions or constructive in this case
if Antony Joshua could take criticism he would be a world champion ii wish I could send this to him. Great up lift words my friend
Thanks you for sharing this video it's very useful it helped me.
This is very helpful
Yes, And I’ve Ruminated over Criticisms I’ve received for long periods of time, I’ve always been VERY AGAINST CRITICISM
great video
Wonderful speech
Thanks sir
I can take criticism from my teachers, mentors and bosses. Also from my coworkers and classmates.
But I CANNOT take criticism from my parent's. I get a really bad feeling in my stomach when they critisise me. And I don't know why. And I would just love to know why.
Yea, I will take criticism, also nice video.
I have gotten feedback regarding my personality being "too much" or "too big" or aggressive in the workplace. It's hard to hear that as I view myself as ambitious, driven, and passionate and I feel like I am being misunderstood.
a former principal and i did not have a good relationship. when i was evaluated he was dismissive and flippant. getting eval this week makes me worry because he was such a $(&(. his comments were based on fact that i questioned him
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
Criticism is creepy
Ik I can’t take criticism or constructive criticism I get offended fast and yes ima go off on you even if you are trying to help me I just don’t like it and never will
I don’t remember it 🥲🥸