1:53 Well, guess what, Ming?! You ain't the boss of Mei no more! You ain't the boss of nothing after what you did to Grandma Wu! Oh, and Mei's gonna do the same to youse!
This scene depicts the textbook rage of a _covert narcissistic_ mother towards her _golden child_ daughter. Don't mistake it for love or commitment, because it is not. For a narcissist, control is everything, because by controlling everything and everyone they believe they can protect and fortify their feeble ego. In other words, they feel like their very existence depends upon the amount of control they exert. This personality disorder, or even some tendencies, can bring an insane amount of suffering. It is serious stuff that can utterly ruin someone's life, don't understimate it. So if you think you can really relate to Mei, the best advice I can give to you is to be conscious of what's going on in your relationship with your parent(s). Narcissists have typical manipulative patterns that can be spotted even to the untrained eye. Learn more about this disorder, check for the signs, develop the strategies to defend yourself and, if this is really your case, think about seeking professional help (unless you've already done so). Awareness is paramount to improve your life and set yourself free. I wish you all the best. R.
1:37 this is why kids are hesitant to Confess their true thoughts to parents, especially if we are dealing with tiger parents with stereotypical behavior of treating everything, outside of their expectations, as a crime worse than murder. When kids confess, parents don’t accept as their only solution is more negative nurture in the obsessive desire for the “perfect child.”
Ming is a _covert narcissist_ and Mei her _golden child_ . This scene is like a textbook example of what narcissistic rage is (and how terrifying it is). In this scenario, a mother (but a father as well) exerts control and manipulate his own child in order to get what she wants, i.e. to enlarge or defend her frail ego. She lives through her child, which is seen as a limb of herself. Since for a narcissist their very existence depends upon the amount of control they extert, and because they are basically unsecure and childish, the moment they feel they are losing control they can't handle it and they throw a tantrum to restore their authority. That's why it is inacceptable for them that their kids, especially the golden child, don't do their bidding, they consider that the utmost act of insubordination and betrayal. So they try some stereotypical strategies to -demolish- put the child back in line (rage, gaslighting, guilt, lies, etc.) but, if they fail, then there is the chance that the golden child would become the _scapegoat_ and used as the receptacle of their faults, the one and only culprit. Narcissists have peculiar, recurrent patterns, like if they were following a schedule. That being said, parents (also partners, friends, colleagues and so on) who are abusers, who doesn't care of what the others really want, who make them feel miserable for nothing, they don't do what they do for the others' best and even less out of love, no matter what they think or what they say about it.
I've seen many comments of people saying they can relate to this video. If this is also your case, then what follows may be of some help. Here's why. This scene depicts a textbook example of narcissistic rage in a toxic relationship between a *covert narcissist* mother (Ming) and her *golden child* daughter (Mei). A narcissist is usually someone who has developed deep insecurities in response to emotional traumas ("narcissistic scars") that demolished their very identity core and self-esteem (a.k.a. ego). This typically happens during childhood, where the abusers are often assertive parents, maybe n. as well. When this happens, the wounded child starts to enact, either consciously or unconsciously, defence strategies in oder to secure their frail ego, strategies which soon become recurrent, distinguishable patterns, like if they were following a schedule. Therefore the kid retaliates in a child-like manner, becoming entitled, selfish, opportunistic, non-empathetic and responsibility-denier, and they also start to conceal themselves behind either a grandiose demeanor (overt n.) or, on the contrary, a vulnerable facade (covert n.). In other words, they'll identify with a self-built stronger, but fake, ego, attempting to substitute the feeble, but true, one, showing an alluring ideal image of themselves to the others, which they'll protect at _any_ cost. Since this requires constant training and great skills, a n. is therefore a master of deception, a control freak and a pro manipulator who tend to value the others by what they can give to them, as if they were pawns on the chessboard of their own purposes. When a n. is a parent (or both) it may designate one of their sons as the _golden child_ , which is like an alter ego (or avatar) through they live, i.e. their ideal self but in flesh, an empty shell in which the parent pour themselves with all their needs and dreams. They may also appoint another son as the _scapegoat_ , which is somewhat the opposite, a pit into which vomiting all their faults and negativity. In one-child families, the only son can be alternately the golden child or the scapegoat depending on how they behave. Such kids are loved conditionally for what they do, and not unconditionally for just who they are: love it's like a prize they must earn by fulfilling the parent's expectations. I almost forgot to say why this disorder is called "narcissism": as in the greek myth of Narcissus, a real n. love themselves the most. Given the above, you can better understand what's going on in this video. Ming here is the paradigm of a covert mother who's loosening the grip on her golden child Mei. A narcissist's existence relies on the amount of control they exert; otherwise their true ego would be laid bare and would shatter. So losing control means losing their own (fake) being, all the most if the control object is their alter ego; it's something inconceivable and inacceptable for them, and regaining control it's like a matter of survival. We can see that Ming is enacting some of the survival strategies I mentioned above, the most apparent of which is rage: narcissistic rage is well represented here, since it's probably one the most frightening --and devastating-- thing you can behold. This kind of dramatic wild hunt is meant to destabilize the prey, putting it at a disvantage so to make it more pliant for further manipulation (N.B. it is, usually, not a calculated act but a stereotypical reaction). But there's some more: _"This isn't you"_ - Mei doesn't match the delusional image Ming has put on her anymore; Ming cannot see the daughter for who she is, because, in her misconception, Mei is just an avatar, not an autonomous, sentient being with her own mind, will, feelings, needs and desires. The fact that the avatar is now showing a deviant behaviour is something she cannot undestand; that's why Ming is so dumbfounded at first, before realizing that Mei is actually slippering out of her fingers. And here comes the real rage. _"You think you're so mature, lying to me, blaming me"_ - Suble taunts (often uttered with a patronizing tone) and harsh speech is the covert's passive-aggressive way to demolish the self-worth of the victim, especially when they feel threatened. As a n., Ming can't take any form of criticism and also tries to belittle Mei so she can restore her dominance over her. _"How could you be so crass"_ - Again, Ming's idea of her daughter clashes with reality, but in this case the emphasis is on her betrayed delusion of grandeur: Mei is not as perfect as Ming (believe) she is but, since the mother identifies herself with the daughter, this basically means _she_ is also not perfect after all. _"I never went to concerts, I put my family first"_ - That is another distinctive feature of a covert; unlike the overt subtype, a covert n. doesn't like to be in the spotlight, they rather pull the strings from the shadows. Ming is using both false modesty and self-victimisation, proclaiming herself as the devote role model mother, the martyr who has choosen to sacrifice herself for the sake of the family, just to guilt-trip Mei and making her feel ungrateful. _"I tried to be a good daughter"_ - This is a plain confession: Ming has undergone the same struggle she bestowed upon Mei, that is why she's acting that way; nevertheless she knowingly forced the daughter to go through the same fate to satisfy her own demands. _"Sorry I'm not perfect, sorry I'm not good enough. And sorry I'll never be like you"_ - Mei is not a little (golden) child anymore, and now is aware of the mother's manipulation. Although she still has some residual sense of guilt (she says a sarcastical "sorry"), from now on she can break free from the emotional cage she was locked in, and starting breathing free air. If she weren't knocked-out, it'd be interesting to see Ming's gut reaction to that, because being exposed is every narcissist's worst nightmare, something that can crash their whole operative system. This part is also about the actual dangers of arguing with a n.: it's not uncommon that a heated quarrel with them escalated in violence or even ended up in tragedy. I conclude by quoting another line from Mei: _"Be careful. Honoring your parents sounds great, but if you take it too far, well, you might forget to honor yourself"_ . Just like the story of the buddhist monks and the robbers goes, a true hero is not the one who saves the others sacrificing themselves, but the one who saves everyone without sacrificing anyone, themselves included. Everyone deserves to be honored and to live a happy life. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) -- or even some tendencies -- is serious stuff. It can cause a lot of suffering and even destroy someone's life. So, just like Mei, be aware of it. Get informed, learn more about this problem and ask for professional help if needed. R.
@@CBbreaker I grew up with a narcissist. I wish I could have come across this kind of comment at the time. I wish someone had told me I wasn't the problem, the ugly ungrateful monster she made me believe I was. I'm 35 yo today and I still display some of the behaviours I developed at the time. You never get rid of the scars. You just learn to live with it. So if their comment can help a kid somewhere, make them reach out to help before they are crippled the way I was, they have my deepest gratitude.
I don’t entirely blame Ming because anyone would be concerned about their kid going to a concert without an adult and the confrontation could’ve been done with more respect for both parties. Like Mei could’ve owned up to lying to her while admitting to her that she just wanted to have fun like a normal teen and they’d hug it out in their panda forms.
0:02 Robaire: 🎶Did it on my own...🎵 Ming Lin Lee: MEI MEEEEIIIII!!! Mei Lin Lee loves Robaire from 4Town. Just like I love my beloved friends from elementary school, middle school, and high school. And Ming Lin Lee sounds just like my mom when she gets mad! LOL!!! 🙂🙂🙂 🤣🤣🤣
1:54 I can only imagine myself saying: "You're also very cute as a Red Panda too, Mrs. Lee!" And she would actually blush when her white cheeks turn light pink. Boy, that would make her roar embarrassingly.
She would probably be surprised to hear that if you said it to her if you were in it, but clearly, you're not, because Ming is really really angry right about now.
Bro At the start mei went on full Y/N mode when Robaire was about to hold her hand but her mother ruined it😂- Anyway Jesse swim for your life and you too my beloved Tae young😭 I can’t stop laughing at that girl when she said “I want a refund😂” The mother went full god mode anyway LOL😅 0:17 why were they swimming😂
1:53 Well, guess what, Ming?! You ain't the boss of Mei no more! You ain't the boss of nothing after what you did to Grandma Wu! Oh, and Mei's gonna do the same to youse!
3:27 If you pause here at 3:27 It looks like Red Panda Mei is hugging her mom's muzzle and nose. I know, it's not. She only landed on her muzzle/nose and rocks her body back and forth and saying: Sorry I'm not perfect. But this is very cute if she was actually hugging her mom's muzzle as a apology for her rebellious action of disobedience. Then again, when I pause at 3:27. This is momstrously adorable if Red Panda Mei is hugging her mom's muzzle as a apology.
3:16 That can actually be true in real life, parents, especially mothers, will try to change you to be exactly like them. Even when they don't realise it!
@@JoshuaOrro-MustangPrinceOR-YTB It does matter. Because Asian Girls are literally the tallest in the world. Chinese GIRLS, Korean GIRLS and Japanese GIRLS. Their heights.
Yeah, that movie SCARED me 3 times the first time I watched it, and each scare is more shocking than the last, (DON'T READ THIS OR WATCH THIS VIDEO UNTIL YOU WATCH THE MOVIE): 1st time: It was the least scary of the three, Mei transform into her panda form, IN FUCKING SCHOOL, and take her anger out on the "poster" when her parents explained the story to her. 2nd time: When Mei attack Tyler at his birthday party and her mom scolded Mei's friends for "causing this", (and TBH, all of this could've been avoided if Tyler haven't been so insulting and insensitive). 3rd: Mei VS. Ming, Ming goes on a fucking rampage and destroys the damn stadium, and Mei beat the shit out of her mom to shut her up, and calm her down. Despite all the fucking scares, I still LOVED this movie. Later after watching it for the first time, the scares make this movie 10 times fun! 🤩
This isn’t you! This is me! Raaaaawrrr! Ahhhh! I’m not your little Mei-Mei anymore! I lied, Mom! What? It was my idea to hustle the panda! My idea to go to Tyler’s party! It was all me! I like boys, I like loud music, I like gyrating, I’m 13! Deal with it!
From what she's been getting at, controlling her Daughter, blaming boys on Mei's drawings, she can't handle the truths of reality and suddenly becomes a gigantic Panda, with rage, then I guess as a Karan kind of makes sense.
In my opinion, it’s normal for parents to be concerned about their thirteen year old going to a concert without adult supervision because a lot could happen in these concerts. But the rest of what Ming did is definitely not good either. Instead of blaming the teenage boy, or her friends for Mei’s mistakes, she should’ve held her daughter accountable for what she did.
I like the one who saved the dove I forgot it's name but it's but it's really good that you stand up to her mum the saddest thing ever is that like the mother is anxious I wish I could marry the one who say the dove is really I like the style it has
Okay, I'm going to have an unpopular opinion and essay. I understand the point of Mei and I am not saying that Ming doesn't have her issues but kids aren't the only ones who have pressure on them to be good kids. Parents also have pressure to be good parents. And on both aspects there are plenty of good and bad examples. Once you become a parent, the perspective changes drastically. You are now responsible for this life you made. Not only do you have to struggle to keep them alive until 18 but you are held responsible for their actions both good and bad. THAT'S the part kids don't seem to understand. Being free to make choices does NOT mean you're free from the consequences and like it or not, their choices affect their family, ESPECIALLY the parents. So yes the parents get to have a LOT of say in how things go. Until the kid is in a position to both make AND pay for their choices, the parents get to make the rules. Now that being said, the entire reason of raising a child is to prepare them to make those choices. You can't just expect them to not want to push against the boundaries a bit. You need to let them push against but make sure they don't break them. Eventually, you have to let them go and that's hard. Because parents (the good ones) want their kids to be happy but they also want them to be safe. Parents need to be willing to let go but kids need to be humble enough to admit that they depend on their parents more than they're willing to admit.
Personally, I think Ming could've acted with more tact. A good parent needs to have balance in raising their child. A balance of what they need and want for their child. There's a time to act with with kindness and a time to act with strictness. Children can't grow and learn with you babying them.
@@kidprime6863 Agreed. But you can't just let them do what they want either. The actions of kids affect the parent just as much as the parents actions affect the child. The parent isn't the only one that needs to be balanced.
@@chuchulainn9275 Yes, the child needs a balance, too. But, what I'm saying is that a parent shouldn't expect their children to be mini-versions of themselves. They need to let them be themselves, faults and all, so they can learn and grow. They need to try to take the "give-and-take" approach. This way your child will bond with and look up to you. But Ming takes more than she gives. She needs to do both, not one over the other. The way I see it, she's envious of what Mei wants because she didn't get to have that growing up. Thus, if she couldn't have it than no one should. That will create a cycle with Mei in the future if Ming keeps this up. The cycle must break.
@@kidprime6863 It depends on what those "faults" are. Some faults should not be encouraged. I don't deny Ming needs to ease up a lot. But demanding that a child be allowed to just do whatever is simply the other extreme that will result in self destruction. Children demanding to be treated like adults and then refuse to accept the responsibilities as well as acting like the consequences don't affect their family members will also damage the relationship. As I said in my original comment, parents need to loosen and eventually let go. But while they provide all the resources, then they get and must set the boundaries. The kid(s) have to simply accept that until they can provide those resources to themselves. It's definitely a balancing act. Parents have to balance the need and responsibility to keep their children safe and provided for while allowing them an opportunity to grow. Provide boundaries without stunting or stopping growth. Kids have to learn to navigate their environment learn new things while learning to curb their excitement enough to listen and learn from those who have the experience. Pushing against boundaries without breaking them and getting themselves in unnecessary trouble.
@@chuchulainn9275 But what I'm saying that a parent should let their children do whatever they want, as long as it's not something bad. Like hanging with the wrong crowd or commit vandalism. I didn't mean allow them to do whatever they want in general. Children can't stay children, forever. They will have to grow up, eventually. But I get what you're saying. Mei is trying to grow up too fast. She's not ready for this, yet. She's still just a kid and still has a lot to learn. Then again, I can't blame her for her motivation. She just wants out of the life her mom is putting her through. It's suffocating. Parents must help their children learn right from wrong. They must show them love, compassion, support, trust, understanding and morality. Being strict isn't always the answer. That should always be Plan B. True parenting requires a healthy relationship. The more strict you are, more likely they'll want to do what Mei tried to do. The problem is that Ming is letting anger cloud her judgment and that's not good. All that bottled up rage is unhealthy. And part of the reason, if I remember correctly, Mei was to be treated like an adult is probably because she wants to be treated fairly and equally. She's not a robot. She's only human.
A pesar esa mei es la protagonista se an dado cuenta de que esa mei lee nunca se iba a salir con la suya pero la falta de profesionalismo de ming lee como madre iso que dejará que mei lee se quedará con el panda dale like si no sabías eso Saludos.
When she says "I'm 13 deal with it" that was such a big burn ❤️🔥😂
chiste y qué forma de hablarle a ming su madre😒.
1:53 Well, guess what, Ming?! You ain't the boss of Mei no more! You ain't the boss of nothing after what you did to Grandma Wu! Oh, and Mei's gonna do the same to youse!
😮 Wow.
She said I’m 15 deal with it
“I tried to be a good daughter” followed by that brief face of hurt for Mei Mei was painful. I felt that. I felt that so much.
Same! 😣
Me too.
@@jacobvanantwerp2001
Ppp
"well sorry im not perfect! sorry im not good enough! AND SORRY I'LL NEVER BE LIKE YOU!"
my entire life in 10 seconds
This scene depicts the textbook rage of a _covert narcissistic_ mother towards her _golden child_ daughter. Don't mistake it for love or commitment, because it is not. For a narcissist, control is everything, because by controlling everything and everyone they believe they can protect and fortify their feeble ego. In other words, they feel like their very existence depends upon the amount of control they exert. This personality disorder, or even some tendencies, can bring an insane amount of suffering. It is serious stuff that can utterly ruin someone's life, don't understimate it.
So if you think you can really relate to Mei, the best advice I can give to you is to be conscious of what's going on in your relationship with your parent(s). Narcissists have typical manipulative patterns that can be spotted even to the untrained eye. Learn more about this disorder, check for the signs, develop the strategies to defend yourself and, if this is really your case, think about seeking professional help (unless you've already done so). Awareness is paramount to improve your life and set yourself free.
I wish you all the best.
R.
I get'cha!
I know how that feels
no son más que palabras de rebelión.
Ming: You fools! Why are you going into light… ooh! No! Yes! No! Yes! NO! YES! Ooh-hoo! Go into the light! AAAAAHHH!!!
Mei's mother: *transforms*
Moto moto: *"Goodness girl, you're Huge"*
That’s a Huge (Bleep)
Motomoto likey.
@@GoldenWreck bingo
@@valoughs521Oop
Oh. My. God!
1:37 this is why kids are hesitant to Confess their true thoughts to parents, especially if we are dealing with tiger parents with stereotypical behavior of treating everything, outside of their expectations, as a crime worse than murder. When kids confess, parents don’t accept as their only solution is more negative nurture in the obsessive desire for the “perfect child.”
Ming is a _covert narcissist_ and Mei her _golden child_ . This scene is like a textbook example of what narcissistic rage is (and how terrifying it is).
In this scenario, a mother (but a father as well) exerts control and manipulate his own child in order to get what she wants, i.e. to enlarge or defend her frail ego. She lives through her child, which is seen as a limb of herself. Since for a narcissist their very existence depends upon the amount of control they extert, and because they are basically unsecure and childish, the moment they feel they are losing control they can't handle it and they throw a tantrum to restore their authority.
That's why it is inacceptable for them that their kids, especially the golden child, don't do their bidding, they consider that the utmost act of insubordination and betrayal. So they try some stereotypical strategies to -demolish- put the child back in line (rage, gaslighting, guilt, lies, etc.) but, if they fail, then there is the chance that the golden child would become the _scapegoat_ and used as the receptacle of their faults, the one and only culprit. Narcissists have peculiar, recurrent patterns, like if they were following a schedule.
That being said, parents (also partners, friends, colleagues and so on) who are abusers, who doesn't care of what the others really want, who make them feel miserable for nothing, they don't do what they do for the others' best and even less out of love, no matter what they think or what they say about it.
There's no such thing as "perfect"
Literally my dad right there. He’s one of those parents that I had to endure for 20 years and he’s still acts like this
Can’t believe she spotted her, she must be pretty good at finding Waldo
She heard Mei say "MOM?!" She can likely read her lips.
I wouldn't want to piss her off😅😅😅
She’s the only one with red hair in the audience.🧑🦰
@@jacobvanantwerp2001 again. How did she spot lips?
@@WDI2008 makes sense
The “I LIKE GYRATING” got me on the floor💀
Oh dear, Ming does not like gyrating.
I watched this clip with caption s and the caption said "I like joy reading!" I laughed for like 5 minutes. 🤣
I know Ming is EXTREMELY angry here, but OH MY GOD SHE LOOKS SO FLUFFY!
Obviously, a colossal red teddy bear.
BRO WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN FLUFFY SHES A KAIJU REF PANDA
@@amarimomon2024 we're referring to her fur.
@@izactheangel Her fur looks like Mei could burn herself
@@amarimomon2024 LoL 😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆😂😆
"That Big" had me laughing so heard.
0:58
Lol her dad did say she was big in that form but left out how big.
In the world of Kingdom Hearts, this would definitely be a Boss Battle! Plus, Mei Mei (in her Red Panda form) would be a party memeber lol😂
"Everyone go home! Where are your parents? Put some clothes on!" what kids actually should be doing rn
Ming is Karenzilla!
"IT'S IS ME, MOM!!! (BITES HER MOM'S FINGER VIOLENTLY)"
We can safely say that Ming may need some thearpy when all this is said and done, right?
Yep
Indeed.
Well, Mei managed to help her mother get past the negativity, and Ming finally gives her kid the opportunity to be herself.
And anger management
@@jacobvanantwerp2001 And I think Ming's reconciliation with her own mother helped with the healing.
The 4 town being scared is literally hilarious 😂😂😂😂
You’d be scared of something large too
It seems funny, but I just can't help but feel bad for them about their concert being ruined.
Fun fact: Ming is voiced by Sandra Oh, who also voices Mark's mother in Invincible.
nani
Oh my God, don’t even get me started on the similarities of both movies on their parent-child dynamics
@@maro_vela_22 I can totally imagine Mark shouting to Nolan what Mei shouted to Ming (i.e. the backhanded apologies).
Imagine seeing ourselves snuggling in Mingzilla's fur.
i could rip it out
Mingzilla: *blushes*
Mingzilla is obviously a colossal red teddy bear.
Mingzilla: *blushes as her white cheeks turned pink* Uh, I'm a red panda!
1:34 Mei Lin Lee: I'm not your little Mei Mei anymore! I... LIED, Mom!
Ming Lin Lee: WHAT?! 🤣🤣🤣
Hahaha 🤣
I love this movie, it somehow depicts real teenage situations
no es cierto.
I got the flashbacks from me as a cringey preteen. It’s so damn accurate.
@@josuesrmientopacheco9727por qué?
Same like so many flashbacks to when I was around Mei's age in middle school
Same this movie it’s just fantastic
It was so scary that Ming would become such a monster over the fact that Mei Mei wanted to be with her friends.
I know and it’s very unintelligent too
I wished Ming’s husband intervened like Mr. Nebbercracker and eventually said “We’re free, “ at the the end of this movie
Yeah. Seriously, why doesn't she even get that?
That's tiger parenting for you
Also, even after all this said and done, Ming may have looked like a monster and acted like one as well, but we can't say Ming _is_ a monster
2:24 Ming Lin Lee: How can you be so, SO CRASS!!! 🤣🤣🤣
I've seen many comments of people saying they can relate to this video. If this is also your case, then what follows may be of some help. Here's why.
This scene depicts a textbook example of narcissistic rage in a toxic relationship between a *covert narcissist* mother (Ming) and her *golden child* daughter (Mei).
A narcissist is usually someone who has developed deep insecurities in response to emotional traumas ("narcissistic scars") that demolished their very identity core and self-esteem (a.k.a. ego). This typically happens during childhood, where the abusers are often assertive parents, maybe n. as well. When this happens, the wounded child starts to enact, either consciously or unconsciously, defence strategies in oder to secure their frail ego, strategies which soon become recurrent, distinguishable patterns, like if they were following a schedule. Therefore the kid retaliates in a child-like manner, becoming entitled, selfish, opportunistic, non-empathetic and responsibility-denier, and they also start to conceal themselves behind either a grandiose demeanor (overt n.) or, on the contrary, a vulnerable facade (covert n.). In other words, they'll identify with a self-built stronger, but fake, ego, attempting to substitute the feeble, but true, one, showing an alluring ideal image of themselves to the others, which they'll protect at _any_ cost. Since this requires constant training and great skills, a n. is therefore a master of deception, a control freak and a pro manipulator who tend to value the others by what they can give to them, as if they were pawns on the chessboard of their own purposes. When a n. is a parent (or both) it may designate one of their sons as the _golden child_ , which is like an alter ego (or avatar) through they live, i.e. their ideal self but in flesh, an empty shell in which the parent pour themselves with all their needs and dreams. They may also appoint another son as the _scapegoat_ , which is somewhat the opposite, a pit into which vomiting all their faults and negativity. In one-child families, the only son can be alternately the golden child or the scapegoat depending on how they behave. Such kids are loved conditionally for what they do, and not unconditionally for just who they are: love it's like a prize they must earn by fulfilling the parent's expectations. I almost forgot to say why this disorder is called "narcissism": as in the greek myth of Narcissus, a real n. love themselves the most.
Given the above, you can better understand what's going on in this video. Ming here is the paradigm of a covert mother who's loosening the grip on her golden child Mei. A narcissist's existence relies on the amount of control they exert; otherwise their true ego would be laid bare and would shatter. So losing control means losing their own (fake) being, all the most if the control object is their alter ego; it's something inconceivable and inacceptable for them, and regaining control it's like a matter of survival.
We can see that Ming is enacting some of the survival strategies I mentioned above, the most apparent of which is rage: narcissistic rage is well represented here, since it's probably one the most frightening --and devastating-- thing you can behold. This kind of dramatic wild hunt is meant to destabilize the prey, putting it at a disvantage so to make it more pliant for further manipulation (N.B. it is, usually, not a calculated act but a stereotypical reaction). But there's some more:
_"This isn't you"_ - Mei doesn't match the delusional image Ming has put on her anymore; Ming cannot see the daughter for who she is, because, in her misconception, Mei is just an avatar, not an autonomous, sentient being with her own mind, will, feelings, needs and desires. The fact that the avatar is now showing a deviant behaviour is something she cannot undestand; that's why Ming is so dumbfounded at first, before realizing that Mei is actually slippering out of her fingers. And here comes the real rage.
_"You think you're so mature, lying to me, blaming me"_ - Suble taunts (often uttered with a patronizing tone) and harsh speech is the covert's passive-aggressive way to demolish the self-worth of the victim, especially when they feel threatened. As a n., Ming can't take any form of criticism and also tries to belittle Mei so she can restore her dominance over her.
_"How could you be so crass"_ - Again, Ming's idea of her daughter clashes with reality, but in this case the emphasis is on her betrayed delusion of grandeur: Mei is not as perfect as Ming (believe) she is but, since the mother identifies herself with the daughter, this basically means _she_ is also not perfect after all.
_"I never went to concerts, I put my family first"_ - That is another distinctive feature of a covert; unlike the overt subtype, a covert n. doesn't like to be in the spotlight, they rather pull the strings from the shadows. Ming is using both false modesty and self-victimisation, proclaiming herself as the devote role model mother, the martyr who has choosen to sacrifice herself for the sake of the family, just to guilt-trip Mei and making her feel ungrateful.
_"I tried to be a good daughter"_ - This is a plain confession: Ming has undergone the same struggle she bestowed upon Mei, that is why she's acting that way; nevertheless she knowingly forced the daughter to go through the same fate to satisfy her own demands.
_"Sorry I'm not perfect, sorry I'm not good enough. And sorry I'll never be like you"_ - Mei is not a little (golden) child anymore, and now is aware of the mother's manipulation. Although she still has some residual sense of guilt (she says a sarcastical "sorry"), from now on she can break free from the emotional cage she was locked in, and starting breathing free air. If she weren't knocked-out, it'd be interesting to see Ming's gut reaction to that, because being exposed is every narcissist's worst nightmare, something that can crash their whole operative system. This part is also about the actual dangers of arguing with a n.: it's not uncommon that a heated quarrel with them escalated in violence or even ended up in tragedy.
I conclude by quoting another line from Mei: _"Be careful. Honoring your parents sounds great, but if you take it too far, well, you might forget to honor yourself"_ . Just like the story of the buddhist monks and the robbers goes, a true hero is not the one who saves the others sacrificing themselves, but the one who saves everyone without sacrificing anyone, themselves included. Everyone deserves to be honored and to live a happy life.
Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) -- or even some tendencies -- is serious stuff. It can cause a lot of suffering and even destroy someone's life. So, just like Mei, be aware of it. Get informed, learn more about this problem and ask for professional help if needed.
R.
Jeez. Even on a kid's movie, we see idiots attributing every negative action to narcissism and NPD. Get out more.
jajaja este video no es más que un hijo queriendo rebelarse a la autoridad de sus padres..
@@CBbreaker what's wrong with that?
@@CBbreaker I grew up with a narcissist. I wish I could have come across this kind of comment at the time. I wish someone had told me I wasn't the problem, the ugly ungrateful monster she made me believe I was. I'm 35 yo today and I still display some of the behaviours I developed at the time. You never get rid of the scars. You just learn to live with it. So if their comment can help a kid somewhere, make them reach out to help before they are crippled the way I was, they have my deepest gratitude.
I hate it when Mei-Mei's mother prevented her from doing what she likes to do.
screw you ming screw you
Well I like it
Don't you mean all mothers
OKL
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I don’t entirely blame Ming because anyone would be concerned about their kid going to a concert without an adult and the confrontation could’ve been done with more respect for both parties. Like Mei could’ve owned up to lying to her while admitting to her that she just wanted to have fun like a normal teen and they’d hug it out in their panda forms.
Fouhuucuhuutihdougjö
Uvzchohvizf
That would be incredibly wholesome. The movie was good but I like the sound of this scene too.
I can't entirely fault them for that either. I know how lying is.
Its not mei mei fault
2:40 "Shake that money-maker!" 💀💀💀
2:42- "Destroy her with your big BUTT!!!"
😂😂😂😂
@@Cornyboi2:42 Destroy her with your big tail
shake that bottom line
"Destroy her her with your big BUTT!!!"
2:36 Get’s Me 😂😂😂😂
Ayoooo 2:36
2:40 Tyler is doing a kamehameha
Goku: You're kidding me...
0:02 Robaire: 🎶Did it on my own...🎵
Ming Lin Lee: MEI MEEEEIIIII!!!
Mei Lin Lee loves Robaire from 4Town. Just like I love my beloved friends from elementary school, middle school, and high school. And Ming Lin Lee sounds just like my mom when she gets mad! LOL!!! 🙂🙂🙂 🤣🤣🤣
THE PART WHERE SHE TWERKS😆😆😂😆😂😆😂😂😆
4:19 Onward, BEST PART OF THE MOVIE!!! 😆🥰❤🧡🤎
It was brave of Mei to stand up to her mom!
1:34 indeed.
7723 vs Ares (Next Gen)
I've tried but failed
@@nathancruz91721:55
Imagine how cute Mingzilla will be if her white cheeks turned light pink for blushing.
Correct it was.
1:54
I can only imagine myself saying: "You're also very cute as a Red Panda too, Mrs. Lee!"
And she would actually blush when her white cheeks turn light pink.
Boy, that would make her roar embarrassingly.
Wow she roar like a Lion.
@@sarranaifapratista9788
I wish Mingzilla was a ally in this film. But for roleplays, she's definitely a ally to her daughter and her friends.
She would probably be surprised to hear that if you said it to her if you were in it, but clearly, you're not, because Ming is really really angry right about now.
i can hear abridged armin saying "orgy"
Can y’all try not to put your dinglehopper inside of a red panda
Scene When Mei kills her mom was tragic
She didn’t kill her
She just knocked her out
@@justatrike3430KO
Mei Mei was absolutely amazing fighting against her mother!
More like her mother's corrupted panda
Y’all think your parents get angry but look at her parent she even has the scariest voice
The only thing missing is ming calling her by her full name
how scary can her voice be
Bro At the start mei went on full Y/N mode when Robaire was about to hold her hand but her mother ruined it😂-
Anyway Jesse swim for your life and you too my beloved Tae young😭
I can’t stop laughing at that girl when she said
“I want a refund😂”
The mother went full god mode anyway LOL😅
0:17 why were they swimming😂
I hope there will be a turning red 2
2:34 😂
# mae Mae's red 🐼from is cute
3:13 this was so epic it looks like on attack on titan
Imagine if the avengers and the Agents of S.H.E.I.L.D were in turning red
During the final battle
Bro defeated her like a boss in Mario
the best showdown of all story designs
I like the way she told her mom everything
Jaja has ser la misma huevadas.
I hate it
1:53 Well, guess what, Ming?! You ain't the boss of Mei no more! You ain't the boss of nothing after what you did to Grandma Wu! Oh, and Mei's gonna do the same to youse!
"I want a refund!!"
Bros caring more abt a refund than her life😂😂
What's big and makes a lot of noise....
A GIANT RED PANDA
Or Godzilla
Mingzilla!!!
3:27
If you pause here at 3:27
It looks like Red Panda Mei is hugging her mom's muzzle and nose.
I know, it's not. She only landed on her muzzle/nose and rocks her body back and forth and saying: Sorry I'm not perfect.
But this is very cute if she was actually hugging her mom's muzzle as a apology for her rebellious action of disobedience. Then again, when I pause at 3:27. This is momstrously adorable if Red Panda Mei is hugging her mom's muzzle as a apology.
It's not what it looks like to me.
@@cheyennemoyer3567 I'm just saying it looks like it.
It's sad, it's just epic.
0:52 (to one of Mei's aunts): of course she's gone loco. 😬
1:58 She can't deal with it
Ming Don't Shut down the 4⭐Twon Concert! you're A Big Bad Meanie.
I don't think she's listening
-I want a refund.
-What’s your problem?
💀
LOL
Its giving mei mei shaking her but its funny
0:18
3:16 That can actually be true in real life, parents, especially mothers, will try to change you to be exactly like them. Even when they don't realise it!
united states of america in a nutshell on july 4th, 1776
More like my aunt with the entire country protesting against the war in Gaza
This movie takes place in Canada, not America.
@@makototakara7025 i never said it took place in america
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Finally! The real fun begins
Good job
# Mei mei is not a kid any more is 13 👌
Imangine if Turning Red become a part in brand new Kingdom Hearts
“iM sORrY i aM nOt peRfEcT”
1:34 was epic
Mei Mei Standing up to her Mother
I like how Ming turn into giant red panda🐼and she’s angry😅
It's cool that this film has some Japanese Anime inspired moments
Their Cantonese
@@CourtzDrama it doesn’t matter
@@JoshuaOrro-MustangPrinceOR-YTB It does matter. Because Asian Girls are literally the tallest in the world. Chinese GIRLS, Korean GIRLS and Japanese GIRLS. Their heights.
But that backflip tho hahahahahhahahha 😂😂😂😂
POOR 4 TOWNIES SO SAAAAAD😢😢😢
A more appropriate word for this situation would be freaked out 😳😱
hulk vs surtur but if it was disney
I thought i was watching the movie 😂😂😂
thare jewley are like mircules
Yeah, that movie SCARED me 3 times the first time I watched it, and each scare is more shocking than the last, (DON'T READ THIS OR WATCH THIS VIDEO UNTIL YOU WATCH THE MOVIE):
1st time: It was the least scary of the three, Mei transform into her panda form, IN FUCKING SCHOOL, and take her anger out on the "poster" when her parents explained the story to her.
2nd time: When Mei attack Tyler at his birthday party and her mom scolded Mei's friends for "causing this", (and TBH, all of this could've been avoided if Tyler haven't been so insulting and insensitive).
3rd: Mei VS. Ming, Ming goes on a fucking rampage and destroys the damn stadium, and Mei beat the shit out of her mom to shut her up, and calm her down.
Despite all the fucking scares, I still LOVED this movie. Later after watching it for the first time, the scares make this movie 10 times fun! 🤩
who said that your scared
@@jessealvarado7796 No one, this is my genuine opinion when I first watched the movie. 😳
Sandra Oh is the tallest person in the world. Rosalie Chiang also.
omg l voice her mom in evil voice act 😭😭😭😂😂😂
I like Turing red
This isn’t you!
This is me!
Raaaaawrrr!
Ahhhh! I’m not your little Mei-Mei anymore! I lied, Mom!
What?
It was my idea to hustle the panda! My idea to go to Tyler’s party! It was all me! I like boys, I like loud music, I like gyrating, I’m 13! Deal with it!
Ming: 😮
Mei: 😠
Ming: 😯 😡 *_RRAAAAAAAAHHHHHRRRR!!!!!!_*
@@jacobvanantwerp2001 The ritual, everyone in position! Mei-Mei, keep her busy!
Oh, I’ll keep her busy.
@@spongebobsquarepants6096 (Ming keeps roaring in the background.)
@@jacobvanantwerp2001 Where’s Jin? Jin!
@@jacobvanantwerp2001 (Jin starts running around in a circle.)
I don't know if I'm entirely a fan of this movie
but sure, I guess...
Hawk moth x turning red?!
I saw this part in the movie and I love it so much
Kai-Lan Chow: I'LL HELP YOU, WU!!!! I HAVE A AMPLIFIER TURBO!
0:24 my favorite part
0:56 my favorite part
The way she started to twerk in front of her mom at 2:34😂
Oh my god
Everyone run for the hills its redzilla!!
I love it mei mei
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Is it wrong to think her mom is a Karen?
Nah, I'd say she's more of a tiger parent (or red panda, in this case).
From what she's been getting at, controlling her Daughter, blaming boys on Mei's drawings, she can't handle the truths of reality and suddenly becomes a gigantic Panda, with rage, then I guess as a Karan kind of makes sense.
In my opinion, it’s normal for parents to be concerned about their thirteen year old going to a concert without adult supervision because a lot could happen in these concerts. But the rest of what Ming did is definitely not good either. Instead of blaming the teenage boy, or her friends for Mei’s mistakes, she should’ve held her daughter accountable for what she did.
She IS a Karen
@@kittylover62 What's the difference?
3:18 BETTER NO MY CANT ON BRO STOP MY NO JUST GO HOME 😂
I like the one who saved the dove I forgot it's name but it's but it's really good that you stand up to her mum the saddest thing ever is that like the mother is anxious I wish I could marry the one who say the dove is really I like the style it has
Okay, I'm going to have an unpopular opinion and essay.
I understand the point of Mei and I am not saying that Ming doesn't have her issues but kids aren't the only ones who have pressure on them to be good kids. Parents also have pressure to be good parents. And on both aspects there are plenty of good and bad examples.
Once you become a parent, the perspective changes drastically. You are now responsible for this life you made. Not only do you have to struggle to keep them alive until 18 but you are held responsible for their actions both good and bad.
THAT'S the part kids don't seem to understand. Being free to make choices does NOT mean you're free from the consequences and like it or not, their choices affect their family, ESPECIALLY the parents. So yes the parents get to have a LOT of say in how things go. Until the kid is in a position to both make AND pay for their choices, the parents get to make the rules.
Now that being said, the entire reason of raising a child is to prepare them to make those choices. You can't just expect them to not want to push against the boundaries a bit. You need to let them push against but make sure they don't break them. Eventually, you have to let them go and that's hard. Because parents (the good ones) want their kids to be happy but they also want them to be safe.
Parents need to be willing to let go but kids need to be humble enough to admit that they depend on their parents more than they're willing to admit.
Personally, I think Ming could've acted with more tact. A good parent needs to have balance in raising their child. A balance of what they need and want for their child. There's a time to act with with kindness and a time to act with strictness. Children can't grow and learn with you babying them.
@@kidprime6863
Agreed. But you can't just let them do what they want either. The actions of kids affect the parent just as much as the parents actions affect the child.
The parent isn't the only one that needs to be balanced.
@@chuchulainn9275 Yes, the child needs a balance, too. But, what I'm saying is that a parent shouldn't expect their children to be mini-versions of themselves. They need to let them be themselves, faults and all, so they can learn and grow. They need to try to take the "give-and-take" approach. This way your child will bond with and look up to you. But Ming takes more than she gives. She needs to do both, not one over the other. The way I see it, she's envious of what Mei wants because she didn't get to have that growing up. Thus, if she couldn't have it than no one should. That will create a cycle with Mei in the future if Ming keeps this up. The cycle must break.
@@kidprime6863
It depends on what those "faults" are. Some faults should not be encouraged.
I don't deny Ming needs to ease up a lot. But demanding that a child be allowed to just do whatever is simply the other extreme that will result in self destruction.
Children demanding to be treated like adults and then refuse to accept the responsibilities as well as acting like the consequences don't affect their family members will also damage the relationship.
As I said in my original comment, parents need to loosen and eventually let go. But while they provide all the resources, then they get and must set the boundaries.
The kid(s) have to simply accept that until they can provide those resources to themselves.
It's definitely a balancing act. Parents have to balance the need and responsibility to keep their children safe and provided for while allowing them an opportunity to grow. Provide boundaries without stunting or stopping growth.
Kids have to learn to navigate their environment learn new things while learning to curb their excitement enough to listen and learn from those who have the experience.
Pushing against boundaries without breaking them and getting themselves in unnecessary trouble.
@@chuchulainn9275 But what I'm saying that a parent should let their children do whatever they want, as long as it's not something bad. Like hanging with the wrong crowd or commit vandalism. I didn't mean allow them to do whatever they want in general.
Children can't stay children, forever. They will have to grow up, eventually. But I get what you're saying. Mei is trying to grow up too fast. She's not ready for this, yet. She's still just a kid and still has a lot to learn. Then again, I can't blame her for her motivation. She just wants out of the life her mom is putting her through. It's suffocating.
Parents must help their children learn right from wrong. They must show them love, compassion, support, trust, understanding and morality. Being strict isn't always the answer. That should always be Plan B. True parenting requires a healthy relationship. The more strict you are, more likely they'll want to do what Mei tried to do.
The problem is that Ming is letting anger cloud her judgment and that's not good. All that bottled up rage is unhealthy. And part of the reason, if I remember correctly, Mei was to be treated like an adult is probably because she wants to be treated fairly and equally. She's not a robot. She's only human.
0:57 Based on an episode: Just Dance Around The World Tour! Part 2
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0:17 Robaire: Help? 😨😨😨 🤣🤣🤣
Yall eve thought that maybe her ded oanda was giant because of all of the stress and emotions she had from both her mother and her daughter
This fight is fire!!!!!!
1:05 Me to my cat when she’s sleeping somewhere else other than in my room
lets go detsroy the whie the compastion is distractied yaeh mei mei stand ⬆ 2 your mother
Soy tu. Fan. Número uno 1⃣
💖
It's like the Kraken is destroying the building from Hotel Transylvania 3 summer vacation
A pesar esa mei es la protagonista se an dado cuenta de que esa mei lee nunca se iba a salir con la suya pero la falta de profesionalismo de ming lee como madre iso que dejará que mei lee se quedará con el panda dale like si no sabías eso Saludos.
Interesante
@@SamuraiEdits777 bueno eso es lo que opino.
When mei meis mom said put some clothes on! When she doesn’t have clothes on too u know. Everyone can see that big but of her!😂😂😂😂😂
My idea was to go to Tyler‘s party got me rolling on the floor
Why is Ming’s red panda huge?
It must've been her bottled up emotions she kept inside.
For one reason im surprised shes that big
Wu: HERE WE GO, GIRLS!!!
What are you doing? Got me laughing so hard.
Maei Maie your mother is her and she is raley 😡 and she is not your little girl anymore yeah mae mae shake your cute and adorable red 🐼tail