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r/ihavesex Top Posts of All Time [2]

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  • čas přidán 30. 12. 2017

Komentáře • 6K

  • @Nosebluds
    @Nosebluds Před 5 lety +3702

    This is like the STD version of humble brag

    • @rayadawn3535
      @rayadawn3535 Před 5 lety +41

      You...Actually have a really good point.

    • @nekrotikon.
      @nekrotikon. Před 4 lety

      Good point Arthur

    • @SharpSangalli
      @SharpSangalli Před 4 lety +12

      They're not humble bragging, they're bragging.

    • @SharpSangalli
      @SharpSangalli Před 4 lety +8

      @@babress3119 Not true. Liars brag, too.

    • @gezi5927
      @gezi5927 Před 4 lety +3

      MrEggs4u or r/thathappened

  • @jessicaslater4243
    @jessicaslater4243 Před 5 lety +6195

    "I had sex for nine hours straight!"
    Anyone that's actually *had* sex would know how terrible that would be...

    • @SaintSC05
      @SaintSC05 Před 5 lety +1314

      Nine hour sex sounds like a fucking nightmare.

    • @jenniferdepatto6113
      @jenniferdepatto6113 Před 5 lety +704

      That poor vageener

    • @dx1450
      @dx1450 Před 5 lety +567

      @@jenniferdepatto6113 Not really good for us guys, either.

    • @kopanvezer
      @kopanvezer Před 5 lety +285

      @@SaintSC05 No pun intended^^

    • @SaintSC05
      @SaintSC05 Před 5 lety +188

      @@kopanvezer Ah dammit I was right there and I missed it

  • @howdypardner6278
    @howdypardner6278 Před 5 lety +3478

    That guy who said "(whom lasted four years, might I add)" used "whom" incorrectly. He used it purely to sound smarter but only sounds dumber.

    • @jsrsprite9867
      @jsrsprite9867 Před 5 lety +182

      It's a case of r/iamverysmart

    • @mothersandfuckersofthejury
      @mothersandfuckersofthejury Před 5 lety +96

      CMC 123 we love actually smart people telling dumb, pretending to be smart people to fuck off

    • @Hsel-lc1wt
      @Hsel-lc1wt Před 5 lety +28

      I noticed that too - it really gets on my nerves when people do that lol

    • @zyaicob
      @zyaicob Před 4 lety +5

      I love when people do that

    • @narayana8249
      @narayana8249 Před 4 lety

      That’s what I was gonna say

  • @DittoAPokemon
    @DittoAPokemon Před 5 lety +4663

    that moanday shirt would immediately send every woman in a 50 mile radius running away

    • @mothersandfuckersofthejury
      @mothersandfuckersofthejury Před 5 lety +55

      Megan D can confirm

    • @ajantsmith6139
      @ajantsmith6139 Před 5 lety +92

      Towards him? I want one just like it, I'm gonna have to literally learn self defence for all the pvssy that's gonna come flooding my way🌊🌊🌊

    • @brainfuckcode4990
      @brainfuckcode4990 Před 5 lety +129

      @@ajantsmith6139 I really hope this is satire

    • @JanieBee
      @JanieBee Před 5 lety +49

      If I saw him I would immediately run in the other direction

    • @sicko033
      @sicko033 Před 4 lety +5

      Same here

  • @slushpuppie19
    @slushpuppie19 Před 4 lety +555

    "I walk into a bar and who's in the way? No one. They split like the red sea."
    Everyone: "Oh God it's that guy again, let's leave"

    • @theoryoftheinnocent
      @theoryoftheinnocent Před 4 lety +31

      "I'm the Moses of pussy juice and tits."
      Wouldn't that just mean that those things get out your way because God himself wants them nowhere near you?

    • @shem7146
      @shem7146 Před 2 lety +9

      that cat though

    • @JustCobaltVA
      @JustCobaltVA Před 2 lety +4

      What the cat doing tho?

    • @dr.altoclef9255
      @dr.altoclef9255 Před rokem +3

      All the women in the bar: Unclean unclean-

  • @imveryangryitsnotbutter
    @imveryangryitsnotbutter Před 6 lety +993

    "Well, I can guess what *you* just did... but judging by her expression, I don't think *she* did."
    Gold.

  • @homohits1
    @homohits1 Před 4 lety +1299

    "Babe, what are you doing? Why did you stop?"
    "Hang on, sorry, I gotta prove to a dude on reddit that I'm not an incel"

  • @joslynhayes8530
    @joslynhayes8530 Před 4 lety +306

    It’s like these people are aliens cosplaying actual sexually active human beings.

    • @goawayrayy
      @goawayrayy Před 4 lety +12

      Holy shit I haven’t thought about it that way, my eyes have been opened

    • @masterken3890
      @masterken3890 Před 3 lety +4

      cool

  • @paulholland9531
    @paulholland9531 Před 5 lety +1549

    I believe that each and every guy on here has actually had the sex they describe here, and i know that each and every one of those times they completely dissappointed their left hands.

    • @nedisahonkey
      @nedisahonkey Před 5 lety +202

      That's gross dude. They may be virgins but to call them left handed is just a low blow.

    • @paulholland9531
      @paulholland9531 Před 5 lety +44

      @@nedisahonkey im right handed, not gonna say theyre that, i dont wanna have something in common. Unless its a hands free immaculate orgasm . . .

    • @atomsmasher703
      @atomsmasher703 Před 5 lety +2

      Lmao

    • @romanr.301
      @romanr.301 Před 4 lety +21

      Ned Mononymous - Excuse me, but we left handed people resent that remark.

    • @floridianrailauto9032
      @floridianrailauto9032 Před 4 lety +7

      Left handed? Righty hates us cuz he ain't us

  • @fionabrennan9148
    @fionabrennan9148 Před 5 lety +5047

    that cosby shirt..
    *it’s gonna be a yikes from me dawg*

  • @alliesparks1298
    @alliesparks1298 Před 5 lety +487

    5:06, well if he’s having that much sex then maybe he should change “suckday” to “sonday”

    • @altijdmarley3383
      @altijdmarley3383 Před 4 lety +11

      allie sparks this is an underrated comment very clever 😂

    • @SasukeUchihaOfTheSound
      @SasukeUchihaOfTheSound Před 4 lety +6

      I'm so proud of myself of making your like number "69"
      Anyways, this is an underrated comment

    • @Lumaah
      @Lumaah Před 4 lety +4

      Daughterday also half-works for Saturday

    • @donkeystew2432
      @donkeystew2432 Před 4 lety +5

      Or virginiday

  • @celestiawinters667
    @celestiawinters667 Před 5 lety +602

    Speaking of Cosby, he has been hit with food and had food thrown at him in prison. I specifically found an article about how someone hit him with a stale hot dog bun. Not sure why we needed to know that it was stale, but it was kind of funny.

    • @thatone6913
      @thatone6913 Před 4 lety +5

      Celes Heart dang, kind of hope he is ok in prison but jesus he kind of deserves it

    • @max-bl6fi
      @max-bl6fi Před 4 lety +82

      @@thatone6913 why would you hope hes okay???

    • @davilathegreat
      @davilathegreat Před 4 lety +64

      @@thatone6913 "Kind of" deserves it?

    • @Kehwanna
      @Kehwanna Před 4 lety +43

      I can hear him now "Stop all that puddin pop throw'n in here! That's just wasteful. Dohhhh"

    • @steviecopeland
      @steviecopeland Před 4 lety +4

      Actually Sorrow saw that post in his r/brandnewsentece vid

  • @EdgyShooter
    @EdgyShooter Před 5 lety +2159

    Oh dear god a festival porta potty?
    That made me feel actually nauseous 🤮

    • @cherri_chip7257
      @cherri_chip7257 Před 5 lety +49

      cool

    • @alexthebudgie9071
      @alexthebudgie9071 Před 5 lety +41

      Unless it’s during the first day. If you use the porta loos in the first 2 hours, it’s fine. Also, at the festival I went to, they cleaned them out daily. So, if you used them in the first 2 hours it was ok, 4 hours, you would have to look harder for a loo, 6 hours, there was one loo which was clean, but ran out of loo roll(this is why I bring hand sanitizer and loo rolls) and 12 hours there is no loo rolls. Better hope you have some else you better not need to shit and 18 hours, then its a last resort for anything.

    • @complimentbotd7232
      @complimentbotd7232 Před 5 lety +82

      It was, and yes, it was I WHO MADE THAT POST, I know Sorrow doubted my story, but who could blame someone so alone he has to make internet videos? Haha, neigh I merely jest, but the story is true I assure you. The most amazing part was being unable to tell which fluids were mine, hers or the 130+ previous occupants.
      All I know is it was a brown, sweaty, sticky mess. And I had sex.

    • @folbykleetwood7462
      @folbykleetwood7462 Před 4 lety +28

      @@complimentbotd7232 I like this

    • @mayamelodyegg1607
      @mayamelodyegg1607 Před 4 lety +14

      @@complimentbotd7232 holy jesus

  • @0rangepel378
    @0rangepel378 Před 3 lety +220

    "People believe in God, why can't you believe in the power of my boner?" is such a powerful sentence. And I love how he doesn't get mad at these people for not believing him, it kinda makes it more believable.

    • @0rangepel378
      @0rangepel378 Před 3 lety +1

      Can we start a cult around this man's eternal hard-on?

    • @JesusChristTheQueerProfit
      @JesusChristTheQueerProfit Před 10 měsíci +14

      I don't believe him but I'm willing to let the lie slide without argument just for that line alone

  • @scourgeface
    @scourgeface Před 4 lety +205

    "I walk into a bar and who's in my way? No one. They split like the red sea." *maybe because they dont wanna be near you ever think of that huh?*

    • @crownballs
      @crownballs Před 4 lety +4

      cool

    • @SinDesigns
      @SinDesigns Před 4 lety +9

      But he’s the Moses of pussy and tits!

    • @BeczaBot
      @BeczaBot Před 3 lety +5

      It’s coz he stinks.

    • @not_zippy
      @not_zippy Před 3 lety +5

      Take it from someone, like many others, who went to middle school, B.O. parts people like the Red Sea.

  • @Miniselkie
    @Miniselkie Před 5 lety +279

    4:04 she is so unimpressed and so pissed and he honestly deserves a smack

    • @StarstormAnimations
      @StarstormAnimations Před 4 lety +11

      that face. Was golden.
      *She is so done.*
      Guess what we just did or guess what I just did

  • @mrcomp1971
    @mrcomp1971 Před 6 lety +5177

    How do people even get this insecure about their sexlife.
    Cool.

    • @wickedwitt04
      @wickedwitt04 Před 6 lety +54

      Try going a few months without it, it makes you purdy gosh darn sensitive and insecure about it.

    • @mrcomp1971
      @mrcomp1971 Před 6 lety +536

      Chance Witt Jokes on you I lived my entire life without a sexlife at this point.

    • @ArshadChengadu
      @ArshadChengadu Před 6 lety +13

      lmao

    • @t-kozy39
      @t-kozy39 Před 6 lety +16

      Chance Witt trying living 14 years without one

    • @user-vi4xy1jw7e
      @user-vi4xy1jw7e Před 6 lety +107

      Chance Witt Found the loser

  • @dyszerotinai1586
    @dyszerotinai1586 Před 6 lety +289

    I think the “squirted everywhere” thing is just what we humans call “crying.”

  • @mariar.4893
    @mariar.4893 Před 5 lety +809

    5:32 fiancée is the female version,,, maybe it was an accident but Susan really said gay rights huh

    • @frogberriez
      @frogberriez Před 5 lety +8

      what

    • @clown__bastard
      @clown__bastard Před 5 lety +103

      @@frogberriez It's fiancée if it's a girl and fiancé if it's a boy so she's basically saying she's marrying a woman

    • @sicko033
      @sicko033 Před 4 lety +124

      either she’s gay or stupid
      or both I mean idk

    • @mariar.4893
      @mariar.4893 Před 4 lety +83

      Lemon I’m definitely both

    • @catherineperry5099
      @catherineperry5099 Před 4 lety +8

      @@mariar.4893 join the club!

  • @Stealthfire4
    @Stealthfire4 Před 4 lety +732

    Why is no one talking about how sunday could’ve been sinday?

    • @Whereitsraining
      @Whereitsraining Před 4 lety +17

      Cause the other one is better

    • @MelRosewood
      @MelRosewood Před 4 lety +44

      Punish me daddy OwO, I’ve been a naughty boy UwU.
      And the Christ version: forgive me father, For I have sinned.

    • @gabeace6921
      @gabeace6921 Před 4 lety +13

      Could've been even worse. SONDAY

    • @AaronKaiMCDNLD
      @AaronKaiMCDNLD Před 3 lety +2

      I think the "Moanday" and "Thirstday" arevthe only semi creative ones

    • @GOFFBITZH666
      @GOFFBITZH666 Před 2 lety

      Because that would require more than two brain cells to rub other than their right hand during a wet dream.

  • @jonquist9950
    @jonquist9950 Před 5 lety +2177

    "I'm sore" often means you didn't satisfy them & they don't want to put up with it again.

    • @mysteriousdisappearance
      @mysteriousdisappearance Před 5 lety +84

      Bet youve had alot of time to figure it out

    • @sethsummer4743
      @sethsummer4743 Před 5 lety +240

      That or "I'm tired"

    • @LadyBloodyWrists
      @LadyBloodyWrists Před 5 lety +205

      And probably hurt the shit out of her

    • @pizzaparker9283
      @pizzaparker9283 Před 5 lety +195

      Dang I actually get sore and now I wonder if when I tell my bf that he thinks I just dont want anymore sex lol

    • @theobnoxiouslycharming1747
      @theobnoxiouslycharming1747 Před 5 lety +66

      Right I've never met a woman who Didn't mind being sore for the pleasure. Maybe it's Just me but it's usually the next Morning. Not. Immediately

  • @thatguy8319
    @thatguy8319 Před 6 lety +752

    *MiNe StArTeD wItH a BlOwJoB fRoM mY wIfE*

  • @Ambipie
    @Ambipie Před rokem +37

    When 16 year olds write about getting tied up by their teacher they seem to forget that bragging about that would make them victims

  • @brendanjrice7307
    @brendanjrice7307 Před 5 lety +1039

    Moral of the story...
    Cool.

  • @VeryPeeved
    @VeryPeeved Před 6 lety +691

    the others were kinda funny, but "sexday" isn't even trying

    • @toxicfox1729
      @toxicfox1729 Před 6 lety +12

      VeryPeeved nope, no effort

    • @Marigold11037
      @Marigold11037 Před 6 lety +49

      Sin day. Just. Sin day.

    • @Marigold11037
      @Marigold11037 Před 6 lety +7

      Wait thats the wrong one but still. Like suckerday or sucking day or something

    • @Spreehox
      @Spreehox Před 6 lety +9

      Howabout Sit-erday

    • @mellog1512
      @mellog1512 Před 6 lety +1

      Bruh that profile pic. Was that actually in the show?

  • @chloenicole6434
    @chloenicole6434 Před 6 lety +1090

    “Hey Phil how was your weekend?”
    “I guess it was alri-“
    “MINE STARTED WITH A BLOW JOB FROM MY WIFE”
    Lmao

  • @tobygrapes9760
    @tobygrapes9760 Před 4 lety +75

    "...Were you homeschooled?"
    *sss, ooh, that burns chief*

  • @nathan_the_barbarian7974
    @nathan_the_barbarian7974 Před 4 lety +27

    I need that “squirt everywhere” audio set as a text message alert.

  • @melissalaw1832
    @melissalaw1832 Před 6 lety +5418

    *hE hAs RiSeN*

  • @stephaniejoobern1001
    @stephaniejoobern1001 Před 6 lety +4374

    2:50
    "And then everyone clapped"

  • @defianttomcat4696
    @defianttomcat4696 Před 5 lety +175

    ”muskles”😂 I’ve said that for a year😂

  • @paulnash6944
    @paulnash6944 Před 5 lety +260

    [Every day, we stray further from God.]

  • @ThatGuyKh1
    @ThatGuyKh1 Před 6 lety +333

    I had no idea people were so passionate about the sex that they aren’t having and didn’t have

    • @dermotmcdermott6890
      @dermotmcdermott6890 Před 6 lety +16

      khi coolblast only the people who aren't having it are talking about it. Everyone else is content with just fucking in peace

    • @spaghettiioassassin8151
      @spaghettiioassassin8151 Před 5 lety +5

      Yeah you see the same thing with fake “I’m In the military” people posting stupid shit when in reality actual military personnel never mention it.

    • @Eternal-fractal
      @Eternal-fractal Před 5 lety +1

      Unfortunately I think they have a sex bot and vr.

  • @gothymcthotty8192
    @gothymcthotty8192 Před 5 lety +303

    *”HE IS RISEN INDEED”* okay,, that got me

  • @picax8398
    @picax8398 Před rokem +6

    that last dude really seemed closeted lol

  • @mage6475
    @mage6475 Před 5 lety +114

    "I can go for 9 hours"
    I bet he fell asleep for a good 8 hours and 59 minutes in those 9 hours.
    Also... "Resurch"
    Dat accent tho

  • @user-rn4ij3vf7i
    @user-rn4ij3vf7i Před 5 lety +589

    r/thathappened @ all these men

    • @Celrrose
      @Celrrose Před 5 lety +7

      This should be top comment

    • @lollmao3247
      @lollmao3247 Před 5 lety +1

      Lomao

    • @kkingkaila
      @kkingkaila Před 5 lety

      Seriously! 😂🙄

    • @imthecoolest50
      @imthecoolest50 Před 5 lety +2

      why are they all men though? is sex that important to them? 🤔 no shade, i’m genuinely struggling to understand them

    • @aladinsane9785
      @aladinsane9785 Před 5 lety +3

      Astral Realm
      r/nobodyasked

  • @vascocarvalho2451
    @vascocarvalho2451 Před 6 lety +264

    "Were you homeschooled?" r/murderedbywords

  • @Cinemarkerz96
    @Cinemarkerz96 Před 4 lety +69

    "SUCKday"
    well, usually Sunday really sucks.

  • @RejectDaleri
    @RejectDaleri Před 4 lety +81

    He needs to be hired by Adult Swim as a voice actor. I love it.

  • @earthisadonut7213
    @earthisadonut7213 Před 6 lety +574

    There is no point in men comparing who had more sex then whom, the real question is "do you even have a stable job"

    • @earthisadonut7213
      @earthisadonut7213 Před 6 lety +60

      Fagot Reich that is if your boss is an asshole, my boss is not an asshole

    • @jakesethner5647
      @jakesethner5647 Před 6 lety +5

      Earth Is A Donut ha true

    • @nickrustyson8124
      @nickrustyson8124 Před 6 lety +18

      Fagot Reich So don't be a little bitch and do your job.

    • @9HighFlyer9
      @9HighFlyer9 Před 6 lety +1

      The only people who don't have a job right now, at least in the US, are people who are disabled, lazy or have a trust fund. I guess that makes it kind of a low bar. The real question should be "how fucking crazy are you?"
      They're going to be some kind of crazy, it's unavoidable. It's most important to separate the "I HAVE to make my bed FIRST thing" crazy from the "I'm gonna chop you up and put you under my bed first thing" kind of crazy.

    • @gizoginjr
      @gizoginjr Před 6 lety +4

      The real measure of a man's worth is how much cake he can afford.

  • @imthecoolest50
    @imthecoolest50 Před 5 lety +3513

    why is being virgin a bad thing?

    • @kylelangdon6724
      @kylelangdon6724 Před 5 lety +510

      cat no banana I’ve been asking myself that question since 2010

    • @aya6194
      @aya6194 Před 5 lety +654

      *GASP* t-The evil! It can't be! The horror of someone who hasnt put there genitalia in someone elses genitalia! How villainous!

    • @yourmajesty8913
      @yourmajesty8913 Před 5 lety +70

      Because it’s the mark of the devil

    • @DeadKraken
      @DeadKraken Před 5 lety +687

      Because insecure people over-glorify sex(especially casual sex, the most boring shit I can ever imagine) and many of them actually think that sex changes you in some way, or makes you "wiser".
      With men is particularly tragic, since many apparently don't think you're at their level if your dick hasn't been is some pussy.
      Meaningful relationships and love is what really change a person, but they'll understand it when they're old and alone.

    • @sagethcrow
      @sagethcrow Před 5 lety +325

      Parents push saving your virginity until marriage while teens glorify it in order to rebel against parents which then leads to any adult or teen for that matter feeling insecure that they are one of the few virgins for their age. The funny thing is teenage sex is just you assuming everyone else is doing so you say you're doing to fit in.

  • @Thesleepytimes
    @Thesleepytimes Před 5 lety +76

    9:17
    That sentence *REEKS* of virgin

  • @depstein3847
    @depstein3847 Před 5 lety +99

    2:56 Congrats on your 42 STDs this month, I heard it's a new record!

  • @ArchangelSteve
    @ArchangelSteve Před 5 lety +219

    3:17 I've seen a third photo with a different couple wearing those shirts. They're out walking with a child.
    Don't buy those shirts.

  • @honeymilknoel2832
    @honeymilknoel2832 Před 6 lety +210

    Sometimes you sound like a cross between plankton and the fish news anchor and in this context, it’s the best thing ever.

  • @DutchTheHooligan
    @DutchTheHooligan Před 4 lety +69

    8:51 I lost it lmfao

  • @zerolayne8245
    @zerolayne8245 Před 4 lety +42

    "How can you not like Game Of Thrones? Sex scenes, naked ladies..."
    That's precisely why I DON'T like Game Of Thrones. Also the incest part.
    *And the Starbucks coffee.*

  • @Synystr7
    @Synystr7 Před 6 lety +1170

    Dude. Magnum condoms have little difference to regular condoms (same width and 0.20 inches longer). They are just *total marketing brilliance* targeted at self conscious men. The kind of man who picks that box up and goes to the young, hot cashier *totally by accident*

    • @Harvey-pv2pd
      @Harvey-pv2pd Před 6 lety +255

      Synystr7 that’s fuckin genius. i will never get over the brilliance of monetizing fragile masculinity

    • @josephholder4492
      @josephholder4492 Před 6 lety +12

      Magnums can fit around a basketball

    • @Synystr7
      @Synystr7 Před 6 lety +130

      so can "regular" condoms.

    • @Synystr7
      @Synystr7 Před 6 lety +169

      They do the same with women. All those anti-aging products with cucumber extract are total shit.

    • @cult_of_odin
      @cult_of_odin Před 6 lety +93

      I've always been to smart to fall for that. I just refuse to wear condoms. Bastards aren't gonna trick me.

  • @veritascalivmeir3708
    @veritascalivmeir3708 Před 6 lety +406

    Yeah sex is cool but have you tried looping SorrowTV singing the halo theme for 12 hours straight

    • @dan5609
      @dan5609 Před 6 lety +24

      Veritas Calivmeir have you? The internet needs that loop buddy get to it.

    • @ZombieSazza
      @ZombieSazza Před 6 lety +9

      Okay... but what about having sex whilst listening to SorrowTV singing the HALO song in the background?

    • @gaevlos1281
      @gaevlos1281 Před 6 lety

      Ikr!? I love his singing!

  • @dr.bright6272
    @dr.bright6272 Před 5 lety +24

    2:49 he had underage sex in a porta potty. And he's bragging about it. Even if it happened in his strange little fantasy that's still gross.

  • @darkartsdabbler2407
    @darkartsdabbler2407 Před 5 lety +69

    9 hours... oh god, the chaffing
    I'm really worried about chaffing

    • @userequaltoNull
      @userequaltoNull Před 4 lety +9

      Truffle Oil. Pre, during, and post. It generally moisturizes, as well as being a good lubricant. I would be more concerned about the incoming heart attack from the half-bottle of viagra you would have to guzzle to keep a woody for that long, even if you weren't fucking.

    • @crownballs
      @crownballs Před 4 lety +1

      cool

    • @marcuspaul4319
      @marcuspaul4319 Před 3 lety +1

      S T I F F

    • @BentleyS6336
      @BentleyS6336 Před 3 lety +1

      I can't believe I'm actually learning real sex tips from a youtube comments section

    • @avacatherine5646
      @avacatherine5646 Před 3 lety +3

      Absolutely no! Truffle oil being near a vagina is a truly awful idea! Water based lube will work fine guys. No need to get the vinaigrette ingredients on the pussy.

  • @emihay9915
    @emihay9915 Před 6 lety +648

    "Im sore" usually means "that sucked and i dont want to do it again "

    • @ameneko98
      @ameneko98 Před 6 lety +88

      Some people enjoy rough sex or feeling sore afterwards, so not necessarily.

    • @TheFlippyNioa
      @TheFlippyNioa Před 6 lety +155

      or they're actually sore

    • @orppranator5230
      @orppranator5230 Před 6 lety +1

      Emi Hay no, it usually means “I want your money but don’t want to do anything for it”

    • @Gizmex
      @Gizmex Před 6 lety +32

      ive been genuinely sore before, but it was after hours of non stop sex. so if a girl is saying shes sore after like 10 minutes she probably just didnt enjoy it. doesnt always mean shes lying tho, she could just be sore or tired

    • @KoriBKoriB1993
      @KoriBKoriB1993 Před 6 lety +33

      Yeah girls will get sore quickly from sex if you fail to make them wet

  • @edward3591
    @edward3591 Před 6 lety +162

    3:29 i would love it if the girlfriend and boyfriend switched shirts

  • @stormkern
    @stormkern Před 5 lety +164

    It really is time people stop using autism as an insult

    • @redhydra2871
      @redhydra2871 Před 4 lety +5

      the truth

    • @yourmomsafurry1971
      @yourmomsafurry1971 Před 4 lety +8

      Sounds like something an autistic person would say

    • @userequaltoNull
      @userequaltoNull Před 4 lety +4

      I'm autistic. There is a reason Autistic is an insult, and it's because we make people uncomfortable.

    • @codacheetah
      @codacheetah Před 4 lety +24

      @@userequaltoNull Maybe, but it doesn't make it right for people to use an uncontrollable mental disorder as an insult towards people being a cunt of their own volition

    • @user-nw3ol7fk1i
      @user-nw3ol7fk1i Před 3 lety +6

      imagine if people used physical illnesses the same way they used autism. like you'll find someone being mildly stupid/a cunt online and tell them to stop having irritable bowel syndrome or smth

  • @williambrewer7299
    @williambrewer7299 Před 3 lety +8

    I can't tell what's cringier. The ones that are obvious blatant lies, or the ones that are true but they still feel the need to puff themselves up in public and on the internet

  • @Firstnamelastname-eh6ly
    @Firstnamelastname-eh6ly Před 6 lety +535

    "bruh you got rapped in a porta potty"

  • @stephaniejoobern1001
    @stephaniejoobern1001 Před 6 lety +3283

    _winky happy_

    • @gokula6375
      @gokula6375 Před 6 lety +29

      3 top comments?
      *DARK MAGIC*

    • @itzstormy9733
      @itzstormy9733 Před 6 lety +14

      Ur in the top five comments with THREE COMMENTS

    • @Jamesdavenelson
      @Jamesdavenelson Před 6 lety +5

      Fuck off, lol.

    • @stephaniejoobern1001
      @stephaniejoobern1001 Před 6 lety +4

      The Squid Lord Ah, that's something you don't see everyday.

    • @strayble
      @strayble Před 6 lety +7

      please stop being funny you don’t need 3 top comments you’re just being selfish

  • @josephbrandenburg4373
    @josephbrandenburg4373 Před 4 lety +11

    "I can guess what you just did, dude, but judging on her expression-- _I don't think she did_ ."

  • @luciusabraxasmalfoy-snape1031

    God his impression of the “leviosAH” meme was so on point

  • @dankdoggo9906
    @dankdoggo9906 Před 6 lety +4468

    I want an Incel vs Chad turf war

    • @bruhdotgov4284
      @bruhdotgov4284 Před 6 lety +243

      That would be over so fast,
      The incels would instantly get pissed and think that the power of reddit would let them win, the chads would see them coming and just a swift light punch they all would get knocked out

    • @jeremiaholszewski1844
      @jeremiaholszewski1844 Před 6 lety +104

      I want To see Chads vs Incels on Splatoon

    • @retardmode
      @retardmode Před 6 lety +27

      Dank Doggo Watch the "Beta Uprising" series on Shadilay's channel

    • @ryriclan3425
      @ryriclan3425 Před 6 lety +70

      The incels would probably try to infiltrate the Chad army and get caught.

    • @catholicgirl545
      @catholicgirl545 Před 6 lety

      YES

  • @ironwolf3319
    @ironwolf3319 Před 5 lety +268

    "So, I was walking in the woods yesterday-"
    "I had sex in the woods one time. How much sex do you have? Probably not as much as me lolololol!" *Gets slugged in the jaw*

  • @huckleberrysucks
    @huckleberrysucks Před rokem +3

    The fact that my face hurts from grimacing is actually somehow scary and hilarious

  • @bobstevenson3130
    @bobstevenson3130 Před 3 lety +3

    8:34 I like this guy's logic. "Sure I can't prove that I did it, but you can't prove that I didn't not do it. So THERE."

  • @justwow768
    @justwow768 Před 6 lety +319

    He has _risen_ . He has _risen_ indeed.

  • @mynamajeff5768
    @mynamajeff5768 Před 6 lety +190

    The opening joke is so much funnier now that Cosby was found guilty

  • @haydentcem
    @haydentcem Před 2 lety +6

    Ah yes, 2017, when using autistic as an insult unironically was an acceptable own

    • @beatrilll
      @beatrilll Před 18 dny +1

      it hasn't really changed, just the wording. People now go 'acoustic' or 'restarted' or something else and it's just seen as normal

    • @haydentcem
      @haydentcem Před 18 dny +1

      @@beatrilll Sad but true

  • @Nrdyco
    @Nrdyco Před 5 lety +59

    At 6:08, you sound like the dude that plays Kronk on "Emperor's new groove"

  • @dinonid1234
    @dinonid1234 Před 6 lety +265

    Beep beep demonetization train.

    • @lucasa8795
      @lucasa8795 Před 6 lety +9

      Dinonid123 beep beep lettuce

    • @pubilisiliwaine
      @pubilisiliwaine Před 6 lety +15

      Dinonid123 trains go beep beep? I thought they went meow meow

    • @joyfuldude4538
      @joyfuldude4538 Před 6 lety +4

      Beep beep I'mma sheep I said Beep beep I'mma sheep *guitar riff*

    • @cnotetrombone4940
      @cnotetrombone4940 Před 6 lety +6

      Dinonid123 *choo choo*

    • @spicymilkshake6600
      @spicymilkshake6600 Před 6 lety +1

      Dinonid123 Atleast he has a Patreon, so demonotization can't hurt him too much.

  • @stefan_dumitru
    @stefan_dumitru Před 5 lety +156

    Soooo... nobody gonna talk about that *pure and perfect* outro? Like seriously dude.

  • @srishti5711
    @srishti5711 Před 5 lety +10

    I rewatched all of the SorrowTV videos today because I couldn't remember which one had him pronouncing garbage as "garbaaaage".
    It's this one. Huh.

  • @SkyKitten1
    @SkyKitten1 Před 5 lety +28

    2:47 thats r/thathappened right there.

    • @kimifw58
      @kimifw58 Před 3 lety

      A lot of these are, honestly.

  • @Lady_Crispr
    @Lady_Crispr Před 6 lety +1746

    3:46 It is so creepy that guy is using a little kid as his avi and saying that shit. Though I have a feeling by the way he is talking that he probably is that kid.

    • @emerald7853
      @emerald7853 Před 6 lety +43

      I agree with Pickle Pants

    • @bigversace1472
      @bigversace1472 Před 6 lety +68

      Picket Pants You ever thought that that picture was him as a little kid?

    • @KaliTakumi
      @KaliTakumi Před 6 lety +28

      That is very likely a photo of him as a kid

    • @dajosh42069
      @dajosh42069 Před 5 lety +8

      @ItsYa Boi
      DUDE!! I saw Pickle Pants too!
      I can't figure out why I'm laughing so hard at this...
      But in all seriousness, I also agree with.... with OP.

    • @ayybibi
      @ayybibi Před 5 lety +7

      Picket Pants dude...that's him as a kid

  • @volunarc5248
    @volunarc5248 Před 6 lety +235

    This shit was so cringey it actually was physically painful.

    • @scamin441
      @scamin441 Před 5 lety

      all of my organ ruptured killing me due to cringe overload

    • @choccymilk9260
      @choccymilk9260 Před 5 lety

      I have suffered so much pain with these cringy things that i have become inmortal

    • @scamin441
      @scamin441 Před 5 lety

      Cringality that a fate worse then death

    • @choccymilk9260
      @choccymilk9260 Před 5 lety

      @@scamin441 it's fucking 4 am AND i gorra say, the though of this aclares me

  • @edvin97ful
    @edvin97ful Před 4 lety +35

    When did having sex become such a big deal that someone has to brag about it ?

    • @kimifw58
      @kimifw58 Před 3 lety

      I think... always? I can imagine early humans bringing their hunting mates to each other's caves to show off their offspring.

  • @dodgyyoutuber9560
    @dodgyyoutuber9560 Před 3 lety +17

    4:04 lol her face of utter disgust and disappointment gets me every time!
    I am a virgin myself, since I’m a Christian, and whenever I wonder what it would be like if I decided not to continue this way of life, I just remember these posts and suddenly feel so secure in my life choices

  • @ethanbooher6399
    @ethanbooher6399 Před 6 lety +435

    *HES RISEN*

  • @pagesinyellow
    @pagesinyellow Před 6 lety +636

    I think it should be r/shagbrag.

    • @JourneyToTheCage
      @JourneyToTheCage Před 6 lety +38

      Heather Ions Americans don’t know what shagging is but that is brilliant

    • @lepoulet4691
      @lepoulet4691 Před 6 lety +25

      Suburban Slingshots
      It’s obviously referring to sex, right?

    • @daltonbedore8396
      @daltonbedore8396 Před 6 lety +11

      you're hired

    • @MetalMarauder
      @MetalMarauder Před 6 lety +13

      Suburban Slingshots everyone knows what shagging is

    • @TheScrubmuffin69
      @TheScrubmuffin69 Před 6 lety +2

      Suburban Slingshots YEAH BABY

  • @jadetemplin6813
    @jadetemplin6813 Před 2 lety +6

    I LOVE this guy so much. His narrations are the funniest. I wish he was still doing these. Xxx

  • @MrMuel1205
    @MrMuel1205 Před 5 lety +11

    I like that we got the classic r/thathappened everyone applauded.

    • @rokukou
      @rokukou Před 4 lety +1

      and then we all clapped some more.

  • @blurrycryptid
    @blurrycryptid Před 6 lety +898

    Oh GOD I see so many cringy, gross t-shirts working in retail. Lots of braggy frat boy stuff. My least favorite is this guy who's wearing his "why beer is better than women" shirt every time I see him. It's so gross that I can never bring myself to read all of the "reasons", but two of them are "beer is always wet" and "beer never changes its mind after you get the top off". ...the first one sounds like more of a you problem than a fault with this hypothetical woman (maybe step up your game?), while the second is just... no. You have the right to revoke consent or change your mind at any point. Nobody owes you sex. Complaining about that is really, really creepy.
    .....Anyway, gross shirts DO serve a good purpose. Lets you know who to avoid right away.

    • @loverunriley
      @loverunriley Před 5 lety +27

      • Vico • haha you got that right. now i know to never ever talk to em

    • @burcebanning
      @burcebanning Před 5 lety +11

      one time I saw 2 kids in my school wearing matching thrasher shirts. the dudes one said #1 hubby and the girls said #1 wifey.

    • @frogbIog
      @frogbIog Před 5 lety +38

      JamesAndGames that’s actually kinda cute and wholesome

    • @mr.coconut2310
      @mr.coconut2310 Před 5 lety +4

      OP belongs in an r/woosh compilation

    • @TheRealArya
      @TheRealArya Před 5 lety +7

      Yeah, you're someone I would avoid. You're like the feminists who always complain about the patriarchy. If you're that hung up on a jokey shirt, that's pretty stupid, but worse? It's "creepy" to be annoyed at when a girl changes her mind, *in the middle of sex*? That's the dumbest thing I heard. Sure, everyone has the right to give or revoke consent... But that doesn't mean you do it **in the middle of something you already consented to**. Bet you wouldn't like it if guys did that, huh? Then we're indecisive pussies, while when girls do it they're blameless victims.
      If someone revokes consent in the middle of whatever - they're assholes. male or female, case closed. Stay the fuck away from them.

  • @orangutancoochie6213
    @orangutancoochie6213 Před 6 lety +547

    i WoKE uP To A bLoWjOB fRoM My wIFE

  • @mrxcellent3315
    @mrxcellent3315 Před 4 lety +19

    2:30 Op was the girl's second choice

  • @addicted2mako
    @addicted2mako Před 3 lety +4

    “All I can do is laugh because you’re not me and I am!”
    I dunno, man. I’m not you and I’m laughing pretty damned hard!

  • @route1trainer
    @route1trainer Před 6 lety +312

    The plot twist is one of these people is actually telling the truth

  • @gergodenes6360
    @gergodenes6360 Před 6 lety +3450

    I mean, sex is cool and all that, but *have you opened your heart to Jesus Christ yet?*

    • @bluebubbletea4
      @bluebubbletea4 Před 6 lety +11

      Gergő Dénes nope!

    • @gergodenes6360
      @gergodenes6360 Před 6 lety +55

      HECK OFF YOU NORMIE
      REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

    • @eelektrosszeboss3346
      @eelektrosszeboss3346 Před 6 lety +146

      You can open your legs. But can you open your soul to Jesus?

    • @eelektrosszeboss3346
      @eelektrosszeboss3346 Před 6 lety +11

      That took me way too long to get. But now that I do, it makes my comment so much better.

    • @eelektrosszeboss3346
      @eelektrosszeboss3346 Před 6 lety +18

      Jesus is a a Mexican name. It's pronounced differently than the Jesus from religion. And there is a stereotype that Mexican's always work in lawn care.

  • @dekelyosifon
    @dekelyosifon Před 4 lety +3

    The dude who just responded ‘Cool’ is the type of guy to send a ‘Wanna play 8 Pool?’ After his girlfriend sends him a long rant.

  • @illjan
    @illjan Před 5 lety +126

    The intro has gotten so much worse after the scandal about Bill cosby

    • @mr.farrowsclass6592
      @mr.farrowsclass6592 Před 5 lety +10

      @Stix N' Stones ya, I feel like there had to at least been allegations when that shirt was made.

    • @Itariatan
      @Itariatan Před 4 lety +5

      I thought that was the joke lmao.

    • @peazeralus
      @peazeralus Před 4 lety +15

      @Stix N' Stones Nope. The Cosby accusations happened LONG before MeToo was even a thing... even longer before that post and this video were made.

    • @btaylerpackard2475
      @btaylerpackard2475 Před 4 lety +1

      @@Itariatan that is the joke

    • @Itariatan
      @Itariatan Před 4 lety

      @@btaylerpackard2475 Thanks man

  • @ljupcod80
    @ljupcod80 Před 6 lety +2380

    just started watching ur channel! It's fantastic, ur commentary is what makes it that more interesting

  • @LizzieShiro
    @LizzieShiro Před 6 lety +543

    “Sexy mixed girl”
    As a mixed girl myself, I don’t want that person anywhere near me.

  • @yourneighborhoodmegalomaniac

    "I ' M T H E M O S E S O F P U S S Y
    J U I C E A N D T I T S" yeah sure lmao. As a woman, I can say that line made me drier than the Sahara Desert...

  • @siriuslywastaken
    @siriuslywastaken Před 5 lety +9

    "Hey phil, how was your weekend?"
    I can't help but think of phil coulson so
    "I died"

  • @KordintheHusky
    @KordintheHusky Před 6 lety +174

    "Pussy isnt worth a court case" Well hes not wrong?

    • @MayFlora
      @MayFlora Před 6 lety +2

      Kordin the Husky same thing I said

    • @friedrice4015
      @friedrice4015 Před 6 lety +12

      I mean.....how good is the pussy?

    • @KordintheHusky
      @KordintheHusky Před 6 lety +11

      Fried Rice good point

    • @haley7138
      @haley7138 Před 6 lety +29

      Kordin the Husky
      Yeah it's just the fact he was less worried about her consent and more worried that her not consenting could put him in jail. Creepy.

    • @haley7138
      @haley7138 Před 6 lety +5

      Alt Right Black Knight
      Not really. While I get the fear of being accused of rape his mindset came off like "Yeah I'm not doing this against your will solely because I could be in jail." Which is not understandable.
      I'm pretty sure it's a joke so whatever I'm not gonna call him a rapist or anything(because I know I've made some questionable jokes,) but it just had creepy undertones is all.

  • @nyormalhumane22
    @nyormalhumane22 Před 6 lety +145

    Once you have fought most the frat boys you must face all these guys

  • @vagstuten9454
    @vagstuten9454 Před 5 lety +159

    Cool

  • @viviansmiley2
    @viviansmiley2 Před rokem +4

    2:29
    I like to think the guy stood there saying nothing for a literal minute before saying 18.
    The whole group is wondering if he had even heard her or they thought he just froze in fear. The woman had already left, weirded out by the group of teenagers.
    Then, when he says 18, his friends just look back at him, “What’d you say, Brian?”

  • @FrenkTheJoy
    @FrenkTheJoy Před 6 lety +651

    "Pussy ain't worth a court case" can we, like, make this isn't an actual thing? Like I wouldn't wear it on a shirt, but I want it to be on a shirt anyway?

    • @nickrustyson8124
      @nickrustyson8124 Před 6 lety +13

      I think David Allan Coe was the first guy to say that, he said that in his X Rated Hits album.

    • @Sun-ch4em
      @Sun-ch4em Před 5 lety +57

      Although I agree that this is a good point, I really don’t think there should be like a standard. Just don’t rape, end of story.

    • @angelh8383
      @angelh8383 Před 5 lety +24

      The line actually has a deep anti-rape meaning.

    • @TheBossmop
      @TheBossmop Před 5 lety +3

      Its like like like like ...

    • @TheBossmop
      @TheBossmop Před 5 lety +2

      Like

  • @squishyrock5361
    @squishyrock5361 Před 6 lety +759

    This videos perfect, because we all know the best way to start off the new years, is with a *bang*

    • @viridiusgreene8319
      @viridiusgreene8319 Před 6 lety +20

      or lack there-of, in these guy's cases

    • @gs4011
      @gs4011 Před 6 lety

      Just keep drinking bois.

    • @jerg1917
      @jerg1917 Před 6 lety +2

      Or lack of bang and pretending there was?

    • @sus425
      @sus425 Před 6 lety +2

      I just lost my virginity whilst really drunk. Now I seem like one of the guys in the video but I feel on top of the world rn

    • @nonamenecessary5353
      @nonamenecessary5353 Před 6 lety

      Boooooooooooo

  • @cori_music
    @cori_music Před 5 lety +4

    That Bill Cosby shirt just fucking reminded me.
    Did anybody watch Little Bill on Nickelodeon when they were young? Cause I remember that show now and with Bill Cosby’s entire arrest and other shit, my brain was like “hold up”

  • @christopherjustice6411
    @christopherjustice6411 Před 3 lety +8

    The cringiest one was the guy who claimed he had sex with Emma Watson.