What am I? | Persecutors & S*xual Alters | Identifying Roles in Dissociative Identity Disorder [CC]
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- čas přidán 29. 02. 2020
- Ed talks about his classification of being an ANP/EP Persecutor & S*xual Alter
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Resources:
Types of alters:
traumadissociation.com/alters
did-research.org/did/alters/fu...
Working with Ab*ser Introjects: scholarsbank.uoregon.edu/xmlu...
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Even if it's online, try taking the time out to talk:
betterhelp.com/multiplicity
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#dissociativeidentitydisorder #mentalhealth #psychology
Thanks for talking about this Ed, it probably wasn't easy for you but this was really reassuring to watch and very well scripted. As an Ex-Persecutor and a Sexual Alter myself, I haven't seen many people talking about it on CZcams, and this was just the right amount of honest info to make me feel seen without being triggering. Additional thanks for the resource on Abuser Introjects, that will come in useful for us as we've been looking for information to help us support one of our other persecutors and hadn't been able to find much, perhaps it's considered too taboo in some spaces. Sending all our love from us, Nin xoxo
I agree, and really like your channel as well!
I hope you find what you're looking for nin love you and tell team pinata that I love them too❤❤
Oh hey I love your channel! I hope you get things solved in your system! ❤️
DissociaDID Hey, been watching your channel off an on for several months. I want to say that your videos have actually unexpectedly helped me work through some recent doubts I've had about my personal identity and gender identity. Even though I been half out for about four and a half years, due to confused and unsupportive family, a question kept rising in my brain about whether I was actually transexual, or if this was just some crazy form of DID as you have. But, after watching your videos, I've been able to see that it's more than just hearing voices in your head or presenting as another person, it's more like, for a period of time you truly aren't you...someone else's consciousness has somehow found their way into your body due to childhood trauma.
After assessing my own situation, I realized that I never felt like a different person, I never had any black outs or had people telling me I looked and sounded like a different person. And, last of all I never had any significant violent or sexual trauma as a child that was bad enough to create anything other than a small fantasy world in my subconscious...the only thing I seem to be suffering from, genuinely, is gender dysphoria.
So I know this is an awkward comment that you may not get a lot of, but I just want to thank you for continuing to educate the world on your condition, and also for helping me put doubts to rest in myself that were put there by others. Anyway, enjoyed the vid, have a great week.
@@dylancole1910 ty. ur comment helped me, define my issue. the GD
we could be friends, if ur fam r not supportive (i know its random, couldnt help but 2 say, Gidday)
I need a t-shirt with "That's a part of healing, innit?" on it
03:12
Take my money 💰
I actually love his accent it’s kind of soothing
Honestly yeah
I love it too. And I have no problem understanding it, even though I'm swedish.
Ealainez Beckett His accent is so soothing it’s like one of those from the Old Hollywood movies.
He reminds me of Adele, which is cool.
@@bradt364 I was totally thinking that!!!
This reminds me so much of Jessica Rabbit: "I'm not bad. I'm just drawn that way".
"Look at me talking all smart acting like I know what I'm doing."
Same Ed
Thats what i was thinking while introducing my thesis to my teachers in college xD
Me everytime I have a class presentation
Ed's face when he realizes he needs to say the cheesy phrase lol. I feel you Ed haha
This is such a good video. The only persecutor in my system that I was aware of, Misteltoe, fused before I could build a better relationship with her. Thank you for giving insight into your journey of battling with your role and history. I'll say that the s*xual part of your role feels familiar to my past. I'm not a s*xual alter but having been shamed and repressed a lot of my life, I started letting people treat me poorly because it was "better than nothing". I recognized that I was being disrespected but I also yearned for any kind of attention and didn't yet know healthy boundaries. You're not alone, Ed. Sending you nothing but safe love and gratitude. -Wyn
“Better than nothing.”
Yep.
Took me decades to reach the point where nothing actually was better 🙂
I could listen to Ed talk forever. I really enjoy his voice.
So could I! His voice is so lyrical, and his compassion comes through in everything he says and does. 💜
“Stay true, stay you, stay gorgeous.” 💜💜💜
I feel like this is an important video even beyond the realm of DID trauma teaches us to behave in ways that we may not like and may even know are unhealthy. Unlearning and moving past these ways to cope with the world is huge, and so much work. Bravo to you Ed! Honestly, you are a huge inspiration to me personally.
You're so right! I don't have DID, but pretty bad childhood trauma and I recognized myself in this video. I also enjoy being catcalled, I always thought of it as positive attention, like someone making me compliment. I used to be one of those people defending catcallers (not sexual harassment obviously, just whistling and saying a word or two), saying things like "girls don't even appreciate compliments these days". I know it's wrong, but I still find myself wishing someone would whistle at me when I wear a nice outfit. It's hard to get over it even when you know it's wrong, but this video made me feel like my feelings are valid too while being informative. Thanks Ed
yess ^♡
@@soulg5846 it’s not “wrong” to like being whistled at. Everyone’s different.
I hated being catcalled by multiple construction workers on my way to work. For me it was embarrassing and humiliating. And terrifying.
I had to change how I dressed so I looked more androgynous
That said, I’m fine with a compliment! Just don’t holler it at me 🙂
I find myself saying "oh my days" sometimes in casual conversation so that's for that, Ed.
When he said it's easy to sound smart when it's been written down for you, my first thought was "Thanks, Jamie" 😭😭
Question-can s*xual alters struggle with healthy s*xual relationships because of the torn feelings of "i want this but I shouldnt" ? Does that make sense? Great vid
Yes, absolutely. Reforming that mindset can take a lot of time and patience
That's a Nathan question... I have no idea how to answer that myself. I guess Ed already answered it but different alters in different systems might have different answers. I'm not really sure if Nathan would agree or not.
-Mike Claw
@@cathybobathy5714 Also it can lead to re-traumatisation if/when a certain alter takes over
@@cathybobathy5714 very true Cathy
Yes, one of my alters is that way. But they reciprocated those feelings, so s*xually they don't act as dominant or s*xual anymore for example. They're part-persecutor (not fully) as well.
Technically, almost every persecutor or s*xual alter want to be understood. By the host or other alters that think that they're wrong or their thinking is just "abnormal". But if they weren't for the host, most likely the host wouldn't have an effective defense mechanism with the "fighty" alters.
Persecutors are crucial, even if they're not very positive or accepting of others. They have a lesson to teach you, you just need to react properly so they won't harm you. If you want to negotiate with them (to avoid harm, stop bad and harmful habits, or integrate), it can take some time. They need time, time to trust, time to understand love again. They need reconciliation. Deep inside they're hurting even if they have a strong front. It's easier to be angry than miserable.
Hope you find this comment informative.
I do not have DID but the way Ed spoke about unwanted s*xual attention spoke to me. The way it validates me when someone catcalls me. Even when I feel scared I later view it as something "good". I don't want it yet it feels good.
"...I yearn for that attention because that's the way I've been made."
OMFG is that a mood, Ed. Thank you for that validation.
"I ain't as green as cabbage looking" oh I'm so glad I had the captions so I could understand that... lol
y’all look SO GOOD... this lipstick is really your color. ed’s taste? unparalleled
I honestly love the term 'misguided protector' ❤️ and can I also say that you guys' make-up looks gorgeous? It does ❤️
Ed seems like the kind of person who cringes at everything wholesome/cute but secretly loves it. I wanna see him react to one of those “try not to cringe/laugh” videos on CZcams.
“Even I struggle with my accent” Ed is so hilarious I love him 😂 -Alex
Don’t doubt yourself Ed, you’re doing so well!
Omg, I’m new to y’alls channel and I’m already in love with Ed! “F*ck me sideways” I’m dying! Thank you for sharing yourself with us, you really made my day. :)
Great to hear from you on this topic Ed. It really hit home for us, and I loved how educational it was while still being personal. We’ve been working very hard with our persecutor and the way you explain things helps us understand him better and how to help him feel more comfortable in our system. It’s so brave to talk about difficult topics in order to help others 💖
i'm from Canada and have zero problem with your accent Ed. :)
I love seeing you get more comfortable doing videos. i think you're awesome.
For some people where English is a second language, it's harder to understand some dialects over others
Omg I remember watching you years ago, I forgot your channel name and you didn’t pop up until I started watching videos about recent drama that shall not be named. You inspired me take classes in college educating me about different mental disorders and the stigma around it.
Love the input about not having to label everyone. Especially at first, the roles were so so confusing. Now, we just use ANP and EP because it’s a lot easier and gets the message across. Either they hold trauma or not. At the beginning Jamie (from our system lol) had no idea who they even were and had no clue how to label themself. Host? Persecutor? It was very confusing. This is so much easier for us and at least in our case it helps people not to judge specific alters so much.
Eli
Okay, first of all, I think parenthood (obviously here outside the headspace) has been amazing for you. Or it’s been great for everyone collectively. Just comparing how you used to be about the channel and talking about stuff and how you are now. I hope it doesn’t sound condescending to say I’m so f-ing proud of you and how far you’ve come and the fact that you’re doing these things that make you uncomfortable, so that you can help other people.
Second? I love you Ed! Like I always have. Always loved any time you were out in a video and I love how many you were doing. And your current goth 50’s housewife style is like... so amazing. And suits you right down to the ground.
Thirdly, for the s*xual alter stuff, there’s no shame in any of it at all. None. Even for a person who isn’t one. Even if they are a thirsty b*tch and enjoy the hell out of everything hat goes along with it. There is NOTHING. WRONG. with that. Honestly, do what makes you happy. As long as you’re not hurting anyone. And anybody that EVER has a problem with that obviously cares more about their supposed morals or social whatever than your happiness. And you can tell them to step off and stop sharing their opinions with you. (Even if it’s that unhelpful little voice in the back of your head that sounds like a person you used to know or uses words you’ve had hurt you before)
Beautiful vid Ed! Thanks for putting the effort in to post this and for doing smt that makes you so uncomfortable to help other people! Love you as always!! ❤️🖤❤️🖤
I really appreciate this video. It takes a lot to come forward about s*xual abuse, healing from it, and the trauma surrounding it. Ed, you're completely valid for feeling the way you do about it. S*xual encounters aren't easy after being abused that way, and it can be especially difficult if it's not a role you wanted to have in the first place. You can like s*x without liking being abused, but it's a very real experience to have difficulty separating s*x from it, or to see yourself in s*xual situations positively, once s*xual abuse occurs. Thank you for being open. Sending all my love and support from New York 🖤
I love how you can always pinpoint the exact moment when Ed decides he's over it.
I need to show this to all my friends to help explain my persecutors, I have a hard time explaining to people why alters work the way they do, especially when they are sexual alters. A lot of people wanna chalk them up to bad people, and even I resented them for a time for seeming to only want to hurt us. But these past few months have been used for us to work through some stuff and I’d like my friends to understand this
Yayyy I clicked so fast. Have DissociaDID vid on my phone and MultiplicityAndMe on my laptop yasss. Love you guys
*multitasking intensifies*
Alpha System exactly😆 got to
I would have done that but it is 2 am and I am too lazy to switch on my laptop XD
angel26898 lol at least you’re supporting I think they both appreciate it ♥️
Ed, you’ve just helped me realise why I overeat. I can’t thank you enough.
I love Ed’s accent, the body in his identity reminds me of Adele haha What is funny to me is that I’m brazilian and I have no trouble understanding what he says
Thank you so much for talking about this, Ed. Especially the part about kind of enjoying the attention even if you shouldn't. I honestly burst into tears because its something one of my alters struggles with, and I'm so so glad I was able to share this with her and help her to feel less disgusted with herself, and more accepting of herself. I think you're absolutely amazing and I wish you all the best in the future.
Every share is a bit of trust extended to the world 💜
i just watched two videos before this, one with jess and one with ollie, and can i just say that the voices literally sound so different?? it's so fascinating
You are a protector, created to protect the body, I can’t see it any other way. You’re a valid person and totally, totally lovable in your own right.
Thanks Ed, this helps a lot ❤️ We've been struggling with our persecutor/protector, and this really helps get a better handle on the psychology. It makes a lot of sense now.
I can’t lie, when we finally heard about Eevee I was curious how Jess reacted to being pregnant if they weren’t actively trying. Since Ed is the sexual alter I’ve assumed that to mean he’s usually if not always fronting for that activity so it gave me a light giggle to imagine Jess thinking “wow I feel like crap and yet I’m starving, weird” and Ed just like “ohhh...see, about that...might wanna buy a test”
I think that Jess mentioned that Ed isn't always out during sex, but it does happen sometimes
Great video.. such delicate subject matter discussed in such a healthy and relatable way. Thanks for the tip of stopping when recognising triggers.. 3rd time I watched it all the way through. And so glad I did. This will help all of us so much especially two of us that have been so misinterpreted!! Cheers for being so non-dramatic about the subject matter 😊 Ed you’re the perfect balance of serious and lightness for this topic 😊. We need more of this in the media to help erase stigma.. that’s often even in our own parts. 💖 ❤️💖❤️💖🌈~ Bobbi
I love Ed haha. His sense of humor, his accent (event though it's a bit hard for me because English is not my first language), his swearwords (I'm not a particularly sweary person but I enjoy to hear them xd). And finally, I know Ed is very intelligent and a great person and I'm happy he's starting to notice that since a while now. Love you Ed!
You forgot „rockstar“ in your labels, mate.
I love your accent it’s okay haha
Anyways thank you for your videos, it helps our se*ual protector/ex-persecutor understand themselves, thank you from Lily-Kaylee/Lily
this is amazing,, cant wait to watch the whole thing !!
Thank you for making this for us Ed!
Thanks so much for sharing this, Ed, and I love the look! ♡
I agree with Jamie when he calls Ed/persecuters a misguided protector, that's the feeling I've gotten because Ed talks a lot about protecting the system/Jess. Of course I'm not gonna call him or anyone that unless it's ok with them but that's the impression I get. I love the channel and everyone in the system seems amazing and lovely ☺️💖💖💖
Thank you for sharing Ed! This was awesomely informative!
Ed, you are honestly amazing🖤
Thanks Ed. Wonderfully educational as always.
I love how much you have grown Ed :D it makes me happy
Great job darling! 💜💜💜
love you Ed! lovely hearing from you, thank you for the video :-)
Thank you Ed. Your strength and courage is inspiring!
This made me understand more, so thank you Ed for talking about this.
You are actually hilarious Ed!!! This is such a great video!!!
You are so loved Ed. And you deserve it all. ❤
This is so educational, I just want to thank you so much for this xxx
God I love when ed makes videos. Also kind of loving that wall paper
Havent watched for a while, its amazing to see how far youve come! Lovr you ed and the rest 🖤
Thank you for making this video! I have a friend with DID, and these videos help me understand them a lot better. :)
You did such a great job with this video.
This was a great video and I love your sense of humor, Ed. 😂
The closed captions are greatly appreciated 😂❤️ love you all but especially good job to Ed for putting this all together!!
Thanks Ed, we all really appreciate seeing you and learning from you- you’re awesome ❤️
Love ed. You did an amazing job. Very informative and well put together. I look forward to more videos from you.
This is so powerful. You are amazing... All of you. 👑💖👑
So proud of you Ed. I’ve watched all the episodes of your channel and this video feels like a big blessing from you to us. Thank you for continuing this journey with the rest of your system and finding the strength and courage to present even though you have had your reservations in the past. Much love to you all.
This video was amazing, incredibly educational. Thank you so much for sharing an obviously very personal part of your life Ed! :)
thanks for sharing your story, Ed! also, your makeup and outfit are so incredible!
Thank you so much for sharing 💕 I love learning about DID and your channel and what you are doing is really great 👑
You were wonderful, Ed, and I had no trouble understanding your accent. Much love to all of you ❤️
Ed - not only do you have killer makeup, I love listening to you. Your authenticity and ability to handle/talk through the difficult things is amazing :). I came across this channel today and really glad I did. Thanks for all the work you guys are doing to help other people understand :)
Ed--thank you for trusting us and sharing your story, and I love your accent. Howdy to Multiplicity and Me from Arizona, USA, and wishing you all well.
Fantastic video, Ed. Thank you for this! Very articulate and informative. Loved you saying you don’t have to label parts at all at the end 💜
Thanks for subtitles- they're super useful ! and I'm so sorry you're still working through that, Ed, I will never fully understand what it's like to have DID but thanks to you guys i'm more and more aware and (hopefully) more understanding !
God I Love you Ed, you always crack me up while simultaneously educating the world, it’s good stuff! Loved the lippy on your hand in your goodbye wave too!
xx Kate
This is so helpful and thank you for the link about introjects. One of our alters has mentioned that our abuser is inside the inner world in a “dark corner” trying to get out. Of course that’s super scary (I don’t have access to the inner world-I’m the host and we’ve only been diagnosed and receiving treatment for a short time) but the link you provided was helpful
When you described the war you have with yourself between loving the sexual attention and despising it made Sapphire cry.
I love your personality Ed and I also love how you have grown to a place where you can talk about this stuff. Also love how well you and Jamie obviously compliment each other’s personalities. This was a brilliant and important video, thank you.
This must have been a hard video to make Ed, but you did a stellar job explaining it all 🧡 great to see you!
Thanks a million Ed for having the courage to do this, also I love your accent and appreciate the fact you also say a certain phrase when you don't wanna do/say something lol 💜
Thank you for making this video. Even though it makes you uncomfortable to talk about and share with the world, it’s really helpful and really educational.
I appreciate it
I love your accent Ed!! I am always learning new things about DID and look forward to more videos!
Ed, I absolutely adore you! I love you're videos. I know it's not really your cup of tea and I admire you for pushing thru and doing them. Also, ya kinda got me hooked on the techno swing. I'm diggin it! Thanks for all you do beautiful!
Thank you for opening up about this difficult subject, we love you Ed, and we're here for you.
You are a delight to hear from, Ed. I've always loved your elegance and mannerisms. You are an excellent teacher.♡
Ed...you're fantastically amazing to me 💚 Thank you for sharing! I don't have or know anyone with DID but I've learned so much from you all. Thank you.
Wow this actually helped a lot. I am struggling with the fact that I recently realized I have DID and am trying to make sense of it all. Trying to learn what I should do to try to help manage day to day. I have loved watching your videos and would love to chat sometime. Thanks for helping make some of the pieces of the puzzle fit.
LJ
Thank you for talking about this Ed. I’ve been following y’all for a few years now and I have to say you have always intrigued me the most. It’s really interesting to hear you talk about your... role, I guess (I don’t want to be insensitive), and how you view yourself and how you go about it. Loved this video 💜
Could listen to Ed talk forever. I've watched this channel since the very very beginning and Ed, you have come so far. Watching you work on yourself is super inspiring x
It's great that Ed is willing to sit down and talk about things, but also still has so much sass in the process. Thank you so much Ed for sharing the information and your wonderful self with us!
This is sooooo informative and well-spoken Ed ❤️ Im constantly learning about DID and you’ve taught me so well through this 😊😊😊
Thank you for captioning your videos. As someone who can't hear properly it makes a world of difference.
I love seeing Ed opening up more
Ed is actually a pleasant person and he really has made a lot of progress u can see it
First of all Ed, I love the accent! I personally don’t find it hard to understand you. Second of all, persecuters and s*xual alters were brought on for a purpose, so they are just as valid as every other alter. Thank you for this video and I hope everyone has a lovely day! Thanks and Smilies!
Ed I love you so much
Thanks for letting us in there, Ed. We're still working out who is whom which is fun because we're often co-conscious. It's good to know how the world looks from your side xo
Thanks Ed. You have cleared up a lots of things for me and by extension my friends with DID.