The ONLY reason Jane breaks the "first letter of parent's name" thing, is because her name is literally just a reference to the "plain jane" character trope 😭😭
something i've always found weird about the chocolate chips scene is that lonnie, daughter of mulan, is the auradon kid chosen for it. i cannot imagine a world in which mulan bakes chocolate chip cookies for any reason
fr 😭 i think ir would work so well with dopeys son (im sorru idc enough ro rmr his name) because like regardless of who his mother is im sure snow white taught the dwarves how to bake
2:32:40 One kiss is actually Evie singing about wanting to kiss Mal, but is using D*ug as a guise to avoid being scrutinized in the homophobic society of Auradon. Source? Because I said so!
Give some credit to Carlos, in the prequel book he broke a hole in the magic barrier on the island with a machine He made out of scraps In his tree house
26:10 In the books Carlos actually sleeps in his Mother’s closet with no blankets or way to keep warm all to protect her furs (fur coats) and Evie is actually the first one who gives him a blanket like ever.
I just want to point out that Jay and Gil are implied to be a couple at the end of the movie, like during the break this down musical number everyone is dancing with their romantic partner, like Mal is dancing with Ben, Evie is dancing with Doug AND GUESS WHO IS DANCING WITH JAY? GIL, Gil and Jay are dancing together, ALSO they were lowkey flirting with each other during that scene where they do an icebreaker, they are a couple and no one is gonna convince me otherwise
That would've made sense if they didn't build up mulans girl i don't even remember her name as a love interest for jay at the second movie i think she's the hannah statue and that was thier excuse for not having her in the movie😭
That little breakdown you did about how kids media should be held to a certain standard and how kids know when movies don't care is so real! When I watched shows as a kid I had a lore Bible that I had (a composition notebook) that took note of all the important details in a show or movie, and I would be so mad when the media I watched so clearly didn't care about any of that. KIDS DESERVE GOOD MOVIES!!
i would also like to point out that during night falls near the end when evie drops to the ground mal is just blatantly checking her out dove was doing the MOST 😭😭😭😭
1:13:33 I think the whole point of the blonde hair spell was for the people in auradon to think their hair wasn’t naturally purple and that was just her dying it to be cool or whatever, hence why her hair in the second movie is longer and faded purple as if her trying to signify her growing out of being evil and trying to show that she has changed and that she’s actually “normal” like all the auradon kids by showing that her hair is actually a natural color like most of the auradon kids and not a vibrant color like the rest of the villains on the island, which is why she says that her hair is fake. I think she was trying to treat dying her hair blonde with the spell as like a way to make grow out as if her hair is naturally blonde and she’s letting the purple fade
ALSO in terms of relationships I feel like Jay should have ended up with Audrey rather than Chad ending up with her & Jay being hinted at liking Lonnie but if Audrey didn’t end up with either of them I whole heartedly think that Carlos and Audrey could have been SUCH an interesting couple in the first movie because Carlos needed to learn how to stick up for himself and make his own decisions and find his own sense of self while Audrey definitely needed to be less consumed in herself and I feel like they could both have such good character development together. Jane and Carlos are cute tho I guess just kind of a boring couple like I could see them getting together a mile away. I think Jane should just focus on herself in this movie as before she was depicted as like super shy and overlooked and like a follower. As for Doug I think he should have ended up with Lonnie their personalities would contrast nicely rather than evie and Doug I honestly think that the whole point of evie learning she doesn’t need a prince is that she doesn’t need a man and her and Doug being together just doesn’t make sense. I think they should have just let evie be evie and learn she doesn’t need to rely on ANYONE no prince no nothing to be amazing because she already is. Idk i could talk for hours about how out of place the descendants ships are. I personally thought Mal and Harry would be a lot better together than Mal and Ben too but I’m not even gonna get into that
Also worst descendants 2 costume is easily what they have Carlos in like 75% of the time they did him dirty with that side part his whole descendants one look was his peak costume wise and his descendants 3 outfits were terrible most the time too im sorry to say
Mals D2 isle look is amazing tho and Umas character design was really good too so was Harry’s so I will give them that I just wish that they gave the other characters like evie Carlos and Jay and even people like Jane better outfits in the 2nd and 3rd movie because I’m a sucker for the 1st movies fashion in general but I am a huge Carlos and Jay enthusiast so I’m used to my favorites being put on the back burn I’m probably like one out of the 6 male descendants fans anyway so I’m just gonna let the girls have it it’s not like it’s not a movie for 8 year old girls anyway 🤷
@@user-zo5fz8tc6gI so see your point about Evie and yeah media does need more characters who don’t end up with anyone because they learn they don’t need to, however Evie and Doug are like. A comfort ship for me so I do just want to add that Evie isn’t with Doug because she needs him, she doesn’t rely on him or anything like that. She’s with him because he makes her happy and he sees her for her. She chooses to be with him because she likes him, not his title or what he can do for her. Idk I’m a sucker for a couple who sees each other for who they are, and I think Evie and Doug capture that as well as a DCOM side couple can
- this is a fact you will know when you get into the books/animated show, but some of them do have siblings, lonnie has an older brother, harry hook has 2 sisters and chad clearly has a younger sister otherwise we wouldn't get the rise of red lmao. but it's also like, none of the extended media has one canon, they all build their own lore, so in the books harry has an older sister but in the show he has a younger one, so it's like okay i guess he has 2, even though he never mentions it. the books are fascinating because they work in canon with the movies, like there are pieces of lore from the books that are reflected in the movies, but it's insane that it's never mentioned lmao - i need to know what they put in descendants 2 for everyone to have such insane chemistry, like they left no ship unturned - see i never understood if harry said "thanks for saving me, gorgeous face" to jay as in jay is gorgous or "thanks for saving me gorgeous face" as in my face is gorgeous but he's scottish lmao. either way i've headcanonced this man as pan since he appeared on my screen in 2017, simply bc i get to say hook is pan lmao - also, you forgot the fact that they tried to pair jay w audrey in movie one, but she left so they tried w lonnie in movie 2 but she left also so by movie 3 so they gave up and were like he ends up with gil, fuck it lmao - this was great to watch before rise of red, putting me back in the mood before tomorrow. although the thing i am most excited about is the fact that cinderella and prince charming are played by brandy and paolo from cinderella 1997, and i love them so much, and i know they will be in like 3 scenes probably but i'll eat it up.
@@void568 it had potential to be good, like i can see that at some point there was a script that made sense, but somewhere along the way, they changed the ending, leaving so many plot holes and an incomplete movie. Like, there was a whole third act that was clearly scrapped for some reason, that made the movie feel so unfinished, with no compelling character arcs at all. And the fact that the plot felt weak, made every other bad aspect (the outfits, the music, the extras, the sets) stand out to me. It’s the kind of stuff that I usually let slide, because i like the story so much, but here, all the faults popped out because the plot was incomplete
I'm like 20 minutes into your video and you started talking about Evie being a lesbian and I altready know it's the best descendants analysis I've ever watched
can you believe my utter disbelief when after i finished this 3 hour video, i click on this channel for more only to realize this is not only the first upload, it is the ONLY upload. DAMN!!!!!!!!!! very excited for more :33
Ben seems to have a thing with licking hands, because he first shaked Carlos' hands and then licked his hand. Then in "Chillin' Like A Villain", he licked his hands aswell.
Maleficent/hades was actually a thing since the house of mouse-hades got a crush on maleficent n mickey tried to help him only to ruin everything But its okay since maleficent was into how much hades hates that gay ass mouse n the two got toghter I dont know if mal being their daughter is a reference to that episode but i choose to believe it is
I always figured that they basically imply the fairy god mother’s wand is the wand that put up the barrier, so it should work taking it down from inside the isle.also it seems like really powerful magicians can still use some type of magic on the island because what else was mal and maleficent green eyed staring contest thingy. also dude being able to talk on the isle and the fact that the barrier is normally broken by a button on an electric remote makes no sense
Since the Descendants 4 trailer came out my hyper fixation on Descendants returned and this is exactly the video I needed to continue feeding my hyper fixation.
1:07:12 as someone who owns a 3d printer, I just like to headcannon that Carlos just added different better settings that came with the slicer and Chad is so dumb he can not figure it out
Girl lol He said “thanks for rescuing me gorgeous face” . . . as in MY gorgeous face . . . not calling jay “gorgeous face”, as true and appropriate as it would’ve been for him to say that to him 😂
Y’know, I totally get Evie because I also thought I liked loser guys that had tolerable personalities and had crushes on me because I was deep in comphet.
I cannot BELIEVE you didn’t talk about the scene in D3 where Audrey pets Chad like a dog and he starts moaning aifkakjfkajxao (great video though! I fucking love this franchise)
I’m gonna need you to do this exact format analyzing all of wicked world because this video has got me in an intense descendants hyperfixation and I think I need more asap
i've never watched these movies because i didn't have disney channels as a kid but this video captivated me wholly for a full uninterrupted 3 and a half hours (pee breaks). the comphet lesbian handholding counter. the nightmare cocktails and drink reviews. the wet sock fixation and minute long rants. you're so right it would feel SO awful. this is cinema. i'm subscribing incase you drop another feature length video essay on a topic i know literally nothing about. RIP Evie Descendants you would have loved chappell roan
im so serious when i say i watched the entire descendants movies in one sitting and not once did i not think that Evie and Mal were anything but gay. When they sang that gay love song together I swear I thought they were legit about to kiss. ben and mal had zero chemistry throughout the entire series that when Uma hypnotized ben to be in love with her, THOSE TWO had more chemistry than mal and ben ever had.
When you were talking about dude in carlos’ bed in the first movie, I forgot he was a dog and just thought: “oh I didn’t know he was gay, good for him”
okay literally please keep doing what you are doing. I have been dying for an irreverent hilarious review of these movies because the music really does go so hard but are literally so embarrassing. Can’t wait for you to review the nonsense new one!
A three hour long descendants rant video where a lesbian keeps going off about lesbian Mal and Eve propaganda? I may be a month late but count me the fuck in because I think I've finally found my people, I've spent half my childhood thinking about how these two should've gotten together and listening to Space Between and getting all emo about it
the 'chocolate?' scene was sooo charged like Audrey had to have ghost written 'ballad of a homeschooled girl'. (I love benlos and will always bring them up)
Finally someone who doesn't like 3 as much as me i never liked it (most likely because i watched 1 and 2 as a kid and 3 later) but the movie didn't make sense for me😭
i stand by 12-year-old me's expectations for descendants 2, in that it was a full fledged mind control story and they made ben evil. the ending would disappoint me bc something something morals, but i think they could have and should have committed to the bit
Once Upon a Time mention at the end! I love that show. Anyways, amazing video, your dry humor had me laughing. I totally agree with nearly everything you said, especially about taking down the barrier in D3, like yes all the kids should have gotten to go to Auradon but some of the parents are literally murderers! Anyways, would love to see a video about the books or animated series, I actually started rereading the books the other day because the release of the new movie got me back into my Descendants hyper fixation. I remember the first time I read Isle of the Lost, it was pretty soon after it first came out and I did it for a 3rd grade book report. They did that whole staggered release thing too so the book dropped before the movie, so I actually read the prequel before I saw the movie. Honestly Descendants is involved in some of my best memories from my tween years (outside of the iconic middle grade book series), from my sister and I making our own descendants musical with legos to karaoke with our friends to literally acting in a descendants play during summer camp (I played Jay because I was tall and only one boy tried out). I love these movies even if they’re objectively kinda stupid, though even at age twelve I was cringing at the character decisions in D3.
So many thoughts, so many thoughts so many thoughts but the important one is I was very entertained and you're my new favorite YouTubist!! Looking forward to more Descendants with you!!
I have been waiting for this!!!🎉 this literally one of my favorite franchises. I love it so much. I’m like ten minutes in and the dead pan way you say Tony award winning actress Kristen Chenoweth is sending me 😂
i cannot even begin to tell you how relieved i am to finally, FINALLY see somebody hating on doug. i’ve seen like at least 4 videos on this stupid franchise and saw NO doug hate and i thought i was going crazy. i agree with all your other opinions too (we’re like kindred spirits, twin flames, but specifically in regards to descendants opinions), but the doug opinions are the ones i’m most relieved to see. doug and evie’s relationship is to gen z incels what adam sandler movies are to unfunny gen x men with male pattern baldness who dislike their wives. it’s actually so crazy because the actor looks like a perfectly normal guy but it feels like the hair, makeup, and clothes departments were either told to or decided on their own to make him look like he spends every other second he has trawling 4chan and reddit calling women femoids. it’s honestly impressive.
do i have mad beef with descendants bc of what it did to ever after high? yes. do i also love video essays about and the gay romanceof descendants? yes. two things can be true.
This was so hard to find bc I saw that the video is out on TikTok and tried to find it but all that came up was decendants songs and phoebe buffay clips but I finally did it and the search was worth it
thank you for this highly informational video essay on my favorite movies of all time. I am also a firm believer that no one understands Descendants like I do 😔🎀
cruella deville making it into this movie about fairy tale characters was always so funny to me because shes not from a fairy tale world. shes from normal early 20th century london
1. this is a great video. the first two descendants movies (never watched the third) were very formative for me before i even new i was a lesbian and all your opinions about them are so correct 2. i’m currently watching glee for the first time after putting it off for years and the potential glee video is so exciting for me. i need to hear your thoughts about this show
how are you literally so smart and funny and right about everything
did phoebe write this?
@@jupiter3557alt account 😭 XD
The ONLY reason Jane breaks the "first letter of parent's name" thing, is because her name is literally just a reference to the "plain jane" character trope 😭😭
And, then Uma's last name I think is Jane.
Wait I thought it was cause fairy godmother name is Fay and Fay rimes with Jane
@@madkrew6289 what????
@@madkrew6289…but it doesn’t
@@madkrew6289… it doesn’t though..
Was very entertaining to watch a blue haired lesbian talk about another blue haired lesbian.
Yessss🙌🏾
Hopefully she talk about another blue haired lesbian
@@treesgrowuphighAre you thinking about Chloe from life is strange?
@@katejennings4232 No, chloe from Descendants: Rise Of Red❤
@@LavijnskaHarrington she’s such a lesbian towards everyone though 😂
mal and evie's love for each other is stronger than the writers' love for 3d printers
3d printers and the stupid blue rock
I can’t believe they locked all the gay people on an island in this universe.
Really
Real***
Real
haters gonna hate 😔
Why can't I be on gay island 😔
Since the new movie we can confirm that the known countries in the Descendants universe is Auradon, Evil Island, Wonderland and France
France, the one kingdom that no one dare enters
In the books there’s also northern wei (china)
Cinderellasburg is also one right?
@@sosueme.13 Not really, it is a part of Auradon
America is technically also canon because Pocahontas is mentioned in Mal’s Spellbook
Her: Everything that happens is so ridiculous
Me: R.I.D.I.C.U.L.O.U.S.
something i've always found weird about the chocolate chips scene is that lonnie, daughter of mulan, is the auradon kid chosen for it. i cannot imagine a world in which mulan bakes chocolate chip cookies for any reason
fr 😭
i think ir would work so well with dopeys son (im sorru idc enough ro rmr his name) because like regardless of who his mother is im sure snow white taught the dwarves how to bake
I'm not Chinese but is it even common for Chinese mothers to make chocolate chip cookies for when their kid is sad? That seems like a western trope.
This! It's always bothered and never made sense to me 😭
That’s such a Snow White coded thing to do
Frrr like mulan would peel fruits not bake
2:32:40 One kiss is actually Evie singing about wanting to kiss Mal, but is using D*ug as a guise to avoid being scrutinized in the homophobic society of Auradon. Source? Because I said so!
And you’re so right
REAL
She’s using drugs?
@@sammysandy she’s saying Doug
I love how you censored Doug
"Hey Ben? What the fuck?" You are so real for that
Honestly, I see Descendants as a High School AU Disney fanfic. With a budget.
Give some credit to Carlos, in the prequel book he broke a hole in the magic barrier on the island with a machine He made out of scraps In his tree house
this video’s superlatives
best moment: mal and evie hand holding tally
worst moment: blue food coloring water
26:10 In the books Carlos actually sleeps in his Mother’s closet with no blankets or way to keep warm all to protect her furs (fur coats) and Evie is actually the first one who gives him a blanket like ever.
i love finding people who feel the same way about descendants as i do
also i am SEATED for the possible glee video in the future 🤓
I just want to point out that Jay and Gil are implied to be a couple at the end of the movie, like during the break this down musical number everyone is dancing with their romantic partner, like Mal is dancing with Ben, Evie is dancing with Doug AND GUESS WHO IS DANCING WITH JAY? GIL, Gil and Jay are dancing together, ALSO they were lowkey flirting with each other during that scene where they do an icebreaker, they are a couple and no one is gonna convince me otherwise
That would've made sense if they didn't build up mulans girl i don't even remember her name as a love interest for jay at the second movie i think she's the hannah statue and that was thier excuse for not having her in the movie😭
Their ship name is literally Gay and I love it they’re so cannon :D
If Beauty and the Beast takes place in France, it's entirely possible that Auradon actually REPLACED France. So there might only be one country 😭
That little breakdown you did about how kids media should be held to a certain standard and how kids know when movies don't care is so real!
When I watched shows as a kid I had a lore Bible that I had (a composition notebook) that took note of all the important details in a show or movie, and I would be so mad when the media I watched so clearly didn't care about any of that.
KIDS DESERVE GOOD MOVIES!!
I love how the timestamps just gave up after the first movie
i would also like to point out that during night falls near the end when evie drops to the ground mal is just blatantly checking her out dove was doing the MOST 😭😭😭😭
Just checked and she is SO blatantly checking her out
@@staffdespell7802RIGHTT LIKE ONCE U NOTICE IT ITS CRAZYYY
Do you have a timestamp perchance?
@@thedarkoverlordofall 3:13
JUST CHECKED AND SHE SO DEFINITELY IS
man your 1-minute descendants 3 rewrite where Hades is a red herring while Audrey is the secret villain is so much better than the actual movie
am I stupid isn’t that the actual movie
@@crys_cornflakez Hades is a possible antagonist for one scene, and then Audrey is immediately revealed as the villain
comphet evie grimhilde you will ALWAYS exist in our hearts
1:13:33 I think the whole point of the blonde hair spell was for the people in auradon to think their hair wasn’t naturally purple and that was just her dying it to be cool or whatever, hence why her hair in the second movie is longer and faded purple as if her trying to signify her growing out of being evil and trying to show that she has changed and that she’s actually “normal” like all the auradon kids by showing that her hair is actually a natural color like most of the auradon kids and not a vibrant color like the rest of the villains on the island, which is why she says that her hair is fake. I think she was trying to treat dying her hair blonde with the spell as like a way to make grow out as if her hair is naturally blonde and she’s letting the purple fade
ALSO in terms of relationships I feel like Jay should have ended up with Audrey rather than Chad ending up with her & Jay being hinted at liking Lonnie but if Audrey didn’t end up with either of them I whole heartedly think that Carlos and Audrey could have been SUCH an interesting couple in the first movie because Carlos needed to learn how to stick up for himself and make his own decisions and find his own sense of self while Audrey definitely needed to be less consumed in herself and I feel like they could both have such good character development together. Jane and Carlos are cute tho I guess just kind of a boring couple like I could see them getting together a mile away. I think Jane should just focus on herself in this movie as before she was depicted as like super shy and overlooked and like a follower. As for Doug I think he should have ended up with Lonnie their personalities would contrast nicely rather than evie and Doug I honestly think that the whole point of evie learning she doesn’t need a prince is that she doesn’t need a man and her and Doug being together just doesn’t make sense. I think they should have just let evie be evie and learn she doesn’t need to rely on ANYONE no prince no nothing to be amazing because she already is. Idk i could talk for hours about how out of place the descendants ships are. I personally thought Mal and Harry would be a lot better together than Mal and Ben too but I’m not even gonna get into that
Also worst descendants 2 costume is easily what they have Carlos in like 75% of the time they did him dirty with that side part his whole descendants one look was his peak costume wise and his descendants 3 outfits were terrible most the time too im sorry to say
Mals D2 isle look is amazing tho and Umas character design was really good too so was Harry’s so I will give them that I just wish that they gave the other characters like evie Carlos and Jay and even people like Jane better outfits in the 2nd and 3rd movie because I’m a sucker for the 1st movies fashion in general but I am a huge Carlos and Jay enthusiast so I’m used to my favorites being put on the back burn I’m probably like one out of the 6 male descendants fans anyway so I’m just gonna let the girls have it it’s not like it’s not a movie for 8 year old girls anyway 🤷
@@user-zo5fz8tc6gI so see your point about Evie and yeah media does need more characters who don’t end up with anyone because they learn they don’t need to, however Evie and Doug are like. A comfort ship for me so I do just want to add that Evie isn’t with Doug because she needs him, she doesn’t rely on him or anything like that. She’s with him because he makes her happy and he sees her for her. She chooses to be with him because she likes him, not his title or what he can do for her. Idk I’m a sucker for a couple who sees each other for who they are, and I think Evie and Doug capture that as well as a DCOM side couple can
oh no i feel my descendants special interest returning help
- this is a fact you will know when you get into the books/animated show, but some of them do have siblings, lonnie has an older brother, harry hook has 2 sisters and chad clearly has a younger sister otherwise we wouldn't get the rise of red lmao. but it's also like, none of the extended media has one canon, they all build their own lore, so in the books harry has an older sister but in the show he has a younger one, so it's like okay i guess he has 2, even though he never mentions it. the books are fascinating because they work in canon with the movies, like there are pieces of lore from the books that are reflected in the movies, but it's insane that it's never mentioned lmao
- i need to know what they put in descendants 2 for everyone to have such insane chemistry, like they left no ship unturned
- see i never understood if harry said "thanks for saving me, gorgeous face" to jay as in jay is gorgous or "thanks for saving me gorgeous face" as in my face is gorgeous but he's scottish lmao. either way i've headcanonced this man as pan since he appeared on my screen in 2017, simply bc i get to say hook is pan lmao
- also, you forgot the fact that they tried to pair jay w audrey in movie one, but she left so they tried w lonnie in movie 2 but she left also so by movie 3 so they gave up and were like he ends up with gil, fuck it lmao
- this was great to watch before rise of red, putting me back in the mood before tomorrow. although the thing i am most excited about is the fact that cinderella and prince charming are played by brandy and paolo from cinderella 1997, and i love them so much, and i know they will be in like 3 scenes probably but i'll eat it up.
I vivdly remember, upon seeing D3 the first time, ssying out loud to my cousin "oh he's gay! Thats why audrey and lonnie didnt stick!"
thoughts on d4?
@@void568 it had potential to be good, like i can see that at some point there was a script that made sense, but somewhere along the way, they changed the ending, leaving so many plot holes and an incomplete movie. Like, there was a whole third act that was clearly scrapped for some reason, that made the movie feel so unfinished, with no compelling character arcs at all. And the fact that the plot felt weak, made every other bad aspect (the outfits, the music, the extras, the sets) stand out to me. It’s the kind of stuff that I usually let slide, because i like the story so much, but here, all the faults popped out because the plot was incomplete
I’m loving the Disney’s descendants brain rot from a fellow sapphic descendants kid. I’m not finished the video yet but I already love it
2 D, 2 Scendants and "we don't make movies like this anymore... because of WOKE" were the best lines of the video 😂
Shocked you didn’t mention the deleted kiss between Harry and Gil in descendants 2.
WAIT WHAT
@@lorelei_editsoh buddy
WOAH WOAH WOAH WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN…
@@ProphetElizabethDare ‼️PJO FAN SPOTTED‼️
But yeah if you search deleted kiss descendants 2 it should come up
I thought it was a deleted kiss between Jay and Gil
I'm like 20 minutes into your video and you started talking about Evie being a lesbian and I altready know it's the best descendants analysis I've ever watched
actually I knew it once you said Doug is annoying omg I HATE his ass
The new rise of red movie is even more gay, it’s crazy.
I'm being 1000% percent serious when I say you are one of the funniest people I've ever watched. Your sense of humor is amazing
"As if we don't know what a ship name is!" That's for the preschool viewers who haven't yet learned what a ship name is.
So evil island is just Australia?
yes
as someone who's australian, yes
well i was not 7-12 when descendants came out and i love it sm lol
can you believe my utter disbelief when after i finished this 3 hour video, i click on this channel for more only to realize this is not only the first upload, it is the ONLY upload. DAMN!!!!!!!!!! very excited for more :33
Ben seems to have a thing with licking hands, because he first shaked Carlos' hands and then licked his hand. Then in "Chillin' Like A Villain", he licked his hands aswell.
Maleficent/hades was actually a thing since the house of mouse-hades got a crush on maleficent n mickey tried to help him only to ruin everything
But its okay since maleficent was into how much hades hates that gay ass mouse n the two got toghter
I dont know if mal being their daughter is a reference to that episode but i choose to believe it is
the reason they had to get Hades for Audrey is cause she died so Hades had to bring her soul back from the underworld
bruh i literally never put this together
I always figured that they basically imply the fairy god mother’s wand is the wand that put up the barrier, so it should work taking it down from inside the isle.also it seems like really powerful magicians can still use some type of magic on the island because what else was mal and maleficent green eyed staring contest thingy. also dude being able to talk on the isle and the fact that the barrier is normally broken by a button on an electric remote makes no sense
Maybe using the wand for evil won't work not really sure
The saddest moment of my life is that I heard the descendants version of Be Our Guest first and thought that’s just what it sounded like
not me at 3:30 am with my pomegranate juice/monster mixture in my skull glass watching three hours of a video on a trilogy i haven't seen
Watch it it’s so gay and I love it
Since the Descendants 4 trailer came out my hyper fixation on Descendants returned and this is exactly the video I needed to continue feeding my hyper fixation.
1:07:12 as someone who owns a 3d printer, I just like to headcannon that Carlos just added different better settings that came with the slicer and Chad is so dumb he can not figure it out
Girl lol
He said “thanks for rescuing me gorgeous face” . . . as in MY gorgeous face . . . not calling jay “gorgeous face”, as true and appropriate as it would’ve been for him to say that to him 😂
I always assumed as a kid that Gil and Jay ended up dating by the end of D3.
the insane talent you have to capture my attention span for 3 hours and 11 minutes, wild
i just realized, Cassandra from tangled is the daughter of mother gothel. so there’s a chance she might be on the isle!! 😮
She is if im not mistaken
OMG
Lol headed to AO3 to look for the Rapunzel/Cassandra Auradon High AU
@@middlenerd178 if there aren't any I swear to god I'll write it myself. Please tell me they exist.
Y’know, I totally get Evie because I also thought I liked loser guys that had tolerable personalities and had crushes on me because I was deep in comphet.
I cannot BELIEVE you didn’t talk about the scene in D3 where Audrey pets Chad like a dog and he starts moaning aifkakjfkajxao (great video though! I fucking love this franchise)
You can tell ben didnt really like audrey in romantic way and audrey clearly just wanted ben so she can be queen. Audrey and chad were true villains.
"just call it alchemy or something" oop-
i have never seen descendants before and am still going to watch this full video
I feel very enlightened and now need more phoebe video essays
I’m gonna need you to do this exact format analyzing all of wicked world because this video has got me in an intense descendants hyperfixation and I think I need more asap
Its literally so iconic that the conclusion is most of the video
10:08 they've never seen candy before? didn't she steal candy from a baby a few minutes ago? did she have her eyes closed while she did it?
Bestie, I feel an intense desire to know your opinions on Ever After High
2:27:36 no one is allowed to get stabbed in a Disney property unless it’s a lightsaber (that goes for Amphibia as well)
amphibia mentioned 😍
35:01 "... one of the 1st major Disney projects where the main characters' parents are all..." I thought you were going to say: "...Alive."
i've never watched these movies because i didn't have disney channels as a kid but this video captivated me wholly for a full uninterrupted 3 and a half hours (pee breaks). the comphet lesbian handholding counter. the nightmare cocktails and drink reviews. the wet sock fixation and minute long rants. you're so right it would feel SO awful. this is cinema. i'm subscribing incase you drop another feature length video essay on a topic i know literally nothing about. RIP Evie Descendants you would have loved chappell roan
im so serious when i say i watched the entire descendants movies in one sitting and not once did i not think that Evie and Mal were anything but gay. When they sang that gay love song together I swear I thought they were legit about to kiss. ben and mal had zero chemistry throughout the entire series that when Uma hypnotized ben to be in love with her, THOSE TWO had more chemistry than mal and ben ever had.
Yet they're no doll's of these characters in sight....
Best 3 hour of my life I have ever spent
Someone needs to make a full 3 hour gacha reaction to this ASAP😭
shouldnt the dog stopped talking when it got to evil island? since magic wears off there?
You are a real one for making a 3 hour video,
I'm so exicted to watch this while I draw
this meant the world to me I soaked up every minute of it
i haven’t had a thought that was without the descendants franchise, specifically harry & uma, since 2019 😭
When you were talking about dude in carlos’ bed in the first movie, I forgot he was a dog and just thought: “oh I didn’t know he was gay, good for him”
okay literally please keep doing what you are doing. I have been dying for an irreverent hilarious review of these movies because the music really does go so hard but are literally so embarrassing. Can’t wait for you to review the nonsense new one!
A three hour long descendants rant video where a lesbian keeps going off about lesbian Mal and Eve propaganda? I may be a month late but count me the fuck in because I think I've finally found my people, I've spent half my childhood thinking about how these two should've gotten together and listening to Space Between and getting all emo about it
A perfect ending would be taking Audrey to evil island and closing the barrier forever
Ah my people, glad others see the OBVIOUS love between evie and mal!
the 'chocolate?' scene was sooo charged like Audrey had to have ghost written 'ballad of a homeschooled girl'. (I love benlos and will always bring them up)
i lvoe the little paauses where you talk ab ur drink and stuff it makes me feel like im socializing wthout needing to actually socialize
Finally someone who doesn't like 3 as much as me i never liked it (most likely because i watched 1 and 2 as a kid and 3 later) but the movie didn't make sense for me😭
i stand by 12-year-old me's expectations for descendants 2, in that it was a full fledged mind control story and they made ben evil. the ending would disappoint me bc something something morals, but i think they could have and should have committed to the bit
Videos that should have 1mil views
Once Upon a Time mention at the end! I love that show. Anyways, amazing video, your dry humor had me laughing. I totally agree with nearly everything you said, especially about taking down the barrier in D3, like yes all the kids should have gotten to go to Auradon but some of the parents are literally murderers! Anyways, would love to see a video about the books or animated series, I actually started rereading the books the other day because the release of the new movie got me back into my Descendants hyper fixation. I remember the first time I read Isle of the Lost, it was pretty soon after it first came out and I did it for a 3rd grade book report. They did that whole staggered release thing too so the book dropped before the movie, so I actually read the prequel before I saw the movie. Honestly Descendants is involved in some of my best memories from my tween years (outside of the iconic middle grade book series), from my sister and I making our own descendants musical with legos to karaoke with our friends to literally acting in a descendants play during summer camp (I played Jay because I was tall and only one boy tried out). I love these movies even if they’re objectively kinda stupid, though even at age twelve I was cringing at the character decisions in D3.
FINALLY SOMEONE SEES THAT MAL AND EVIE HAD MORE CHEMISTRY THAN MAL AND BEN!!
(Sorry got hyped)
tangled the series mentioned!!
Hopefully Red will avoid wet, soggy socks in her movie (fan-fucking-tastic video, btw, can't wait to see more)
You pulling the “you didn’t think the story was over, did you?” at the end, how dare you
Honestly, I think the fact that we need to talk made him even funnier and a lot more enjoyable on screen
I really hope they aren’t exes bc uma and mal are COUSINS
maybe that’s why they broke up
i turned on a random video while i was painting my nails to listen to and i ended up watching the whole thing
So many thoughts, so many thoughts so many thoughts but the important one is I was very entertained and you're my new favorite YouTubist!! Looking forward to more Descendants with you!!
this is literally my favourite video on the internet omg, thank you for making this.
There needs to be a Descendants branded 3D printer!! I Love this video!!!!! Thank you for all the heheheheehs
I have been waiting for this!!!🎉 this literally one of my favorite franchises. I love it so much. I’m like ten minutes in and the dead pan way you say Tony award winning actress Kristen Chenoweth is sending me 😂
i cannot even begin to tell you how relieved i am to finally, FINALLY see somebody hating on doug. i’ve seen like at least 4 videos on this stupid franchise and saw NO doug hate and i thought i was going crazy. i agree with all your other opinions too (we’re like kindred spirits, twin flames, but specifically in regards to descendants opinions), but the doug opinions are the ones i’m most relieved to see. doug and evie’s relationship is to gen z incels what adam sandler movies are to unfunny gen x men with male pattern baldness who dislike their wives. it’s actually so crazy because the actor looks like a perfectly normal guy but it feels like the hair, makeup, and clothes departments were either told to or decided on their own to make him look like he spends every other second he has trawling 4chan and reddit calling women femoids. it’s honestly impressive.
do i have mad beef with descendants bc of what it did to ever after high? yes. do i also love video essays about and the gay romanceof descendants? yes. two things can be true.
Are you me?
This was so hard to find bc I saw that the video is out on TikTok and tried to find it but all that came up was decendants songs and phoebe buffay clips but I finally did it and the search was worth it
40:58 i rewatched descendants while performing in beauty and the beast and I had to leave the room for it
Yes pleaseeeee. Will be back to watch this tonight when I’m off from work
thank you for this highly informational video essay on my favorite movies of all time. I am also a firm believer that no one understands Descendants like I do 😔🎀
I adore unbelievably long videos about things I know nothing about and will probably never watch
cruella deville making it into this movie about fairy tale characters was always so funny to me because shes not from a fairy tale world. shes from normal early 20th century london
i am the n1 italian descendants fan and i now love you bro !!!!!!
1. this is a great video. the first two descendants movies (never watched the third) were very formative for me before i even new i was a lesbian and all your opinions about them are so correct
2. i’m currently watching glee for the first time after putting it off for years and the potential glee video is so exciting for me. i need to hear your thoughts about this show
49:56 IM SO GLAD YOU POINTED THAT OUT BC ITS MY FAVOURITE PART OF THE MOVIE AND NO ONE BELIEVES ME WHEN I TELL THEM