Why Doesn’t Society Care About Suffering Men?
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- čas přidán 10. 09. 2024
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Chris and George TheTinMen discuss the problem of telling men to “just do better”. Why do we brush off men's problems so easily according to George TheTinMen? Why are we as a society pathologizing masculinity? If the patriarchy is powerful why aren’t men flourishing more according to George TheTinMen?
#men #mensrights #masculinity
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Hello you legends. Watch the full episode with George TheTinMen here - czcams.com/video/lzK0l1LE1BE/video.html
SPOT ON! Men are awesome and deserve recognition and support too, ALWAYS! 🥰
I may have missed it, but did you post the link to John Barry's article?
Do better? Its that a joke. We alredy do everything in society we keep everything running, we built and make everything from scratch. Theres no do better. Who have to do SOMETHING for the first time in the history of mankind its women,its time to force the parasites to do better.
The problem with telling men to "just do better" is that it silently assumes that they are the ones making all the mistakes, and alleviates everyone else from the accountability of their's.
Wow! If that is what you take away from this message you need to check your ego.
@@christinefury1040maybe you should tell him to just.... Do better lmao
Maybe if that makes you mad, you should have your ego do better 😂 that's the point he's trying to make lol.
Men, women or other, humans spend most of their lives avoiding pain/discomfort and pursuing pleasure/comfort.
I agree with Christine. We shouldn’t listen to you. Instead, “you just need to do better.”
Say you were 5 minutes late for work today because everyone else set off 5 minutes earlier than usual. You wouldn't necessarily assume that you were at fault for being late today, but it's your responsibility to set off 5 minutes earlier tomorrow....
Excellent video- I was suicidal at one point and the thing that reversed my fortunes was not talking about it or “doing better,” but rather taking small action-oriented steps to be the man I wanted to be rather than assuming I’d just fail or be rejected. I had people who loved me, but what mattered most for me was having those people respect and praise my decisions rather than constantly be dismissive or apathetic towards them. By being more masculine, I actually achieved that. My sadness was actually by trying to fit into a more feminine culture and SUCKING at it
Inspirationnal! Well done.
Great comment! This needs to be shared. Pretty much sums up the healthy side of self-improvement that men actually need.
Society has effectively deemed men broken and an inferior version of a woman. The fall out from that paradigm shift of the genders is what we see today; weak, depressed men. It's also no wonder gender fluidity is a thing after all if what society deems correct is a woman why not become more like one, both in body and mind.
Sad sad times we live in. Even worse I brought kids into the f upd world, but I didn't know how bad it was at the time
Yes, men did have lots of advantages in the past and did squander those perks often. Men were vulnerable because they were posturing jerks with LOTS to lose. Going after men was incredibly lucrative, for many. It is painful to perceive how abysmal men be. They have made it easy to get taken down. The ONLY reason they had their great gig was because no other option existed. Technology has allowed us to be trapped into believing men can be abandoned. This is INCREDIBLY delightful to heart of those who have had to beg and crawl before the previous majesty of masculinity. We do really desperately NEED to give men back their vaunted roles but the pain level they caused is SO mindboggling elevated it isn't likely until a distance time of cataclysmic upheaval.
@@montypalmer4556 thesaurus much? It's difficult to follow what your point is, but if anyone thinks for 1 second that punishing the men born after the 60s is somehow justified because of what men did in the past, then, that person is very wrong and making entirely new mistakes and as such will solidify the divide between the sexes.
Fellas, you have to understand that as the more disposable sex, it’s also going to be up to us to fix our problems. Society as a whole is never going to embrace men in their moments of weakness, therefore it’s up to you as an individual to seek whatever help you need and find a solid way of life. Don’t give up fellas, it’s a tough road, but forget what society says and always strive for greatness!💯
Men are not really disposable. It is one of those feminist narratives. Men are far more valuable than women are.
You cant have children without men, who then also take care for both women and children. Not to mention building and maintaining society.
Claim that women are somehow more valuable, simply because it takes her 9 months to produce a kid and then another 20 years to raise it, is nonsense. Aside of the fact that a woman cant have a child without a man "contribution", she cant have it without man being there to provide and protect.
You can have a 100 women and 1 man, it does not mean that he will sire 100 kids every year. Because there wont be enough resources to go around to feed, clothe and warm those kids.
If men are disposable, then women are a burden, not most valuable thing there is.
Women are to be understood, men are to be compliant. Compassion for men is almost illegal.
Wow, you're quite the drama queen. Cry us a river.
@@MinomeEslindewhy don't you ask men if they are able to cry in front of a female partner. See if you find any compassion from women.
@@MinomeEslinde Mostly from both, but if you are fucked as a man you can get help from other male friend between four eyes.
@@MinomeEslinde cool now broaden your sample size
@@MinomeEslinde Ask Norah Vincent about compassion for men. Or Erin Pizzey, founder of first DV shelter.
Sadly we want everything to be fixed with a 2 second sound bite: men do better is perfect for social media dismissiveness.
The lack of empathy towards men is shocking.
'Better' is all you can do to improve your own situation. Accepting that men face systemic disadvantages in and of itself does nothing for you personally.
So to keep personal advice and systemic analysis separate from each other is important here. Being cognisant of the obstacles in your way isn't the same as using those same obstacles as an excuse to waste your life on lethargy.
Telling men to “do better” is just more blaming men when we live in a CULTURE OF MISANDRY.
Well, if you did women wouldn't be boycotting your reproductive rights. It's quite embarrassing isn't it? that you act like masculine men but can't actively get women to have your babies?
This is a genuine question. Why do you think men are oppressed? Can you give examples? How is it women’s faults? What can they do to make it better? Are men oppressed by other men or women?
@@aminandiaye8959 for me I worry about the issues of suicide and poor mental health among men. Not that women don't suffer with these issues, but the cards are stacked against men to address these issues. I'm opposed to the way little boys are brought up from a young age to believe that there are things about masculinity and manhood that are "toxic". Young boys are going to be internalising these narratives and feeling worthless
@@aminandiaye8959 And it's not a woman's fault or a man's fault..It's just how 'money making companies' make 'money'.No matter if it's a woman or a man boss.They have targets and if they want to move up they'll squeeze you.Its just a way of life
@@amyevans9042the cards that are stacked against men to deal with their issues **IS** the toxicity. Get it? The idea that men need to be alpha or macho or whatever and that entails never adressing their emotions or asking for help. That is the toxicity.
Worst thing is, if you told women/other woke-preferred groups to do better, you would be cancelled and potentially spoken to by the police.
I think the problem is they are doing better and out performing men in higher Ed and this high wage earning jobs. Men are losing social and economic prominence to women.
@@Royl65 that's probably the case in western world but not really in the eastern part. Most of the higher paying jobs and more difficult problem solving jobs are still dominated by men. There are in general 3 times more men engineers than women in the top enginnering college here. Most men in the west probably not choosing the academic leader because there are more money to be made outside of the corporate system and more freedom to be achieved. I always laugh where I see a white girl in USA bragging about being a women engineer where here nobody cares because there are so many.
@@Royl65 Are they? Or do they just earn more useless degrees while stem is still male?
@@rano12321I wish we told all of the other groups to just do better
@@Royl65 And all of this "outperformance" is paid for by mens taxes. Or do you think that therapists and social workers generate much value for society?
In same higher education there are TENS of times more various stipends, scholarships, grants, etc, specifically for women, compared to ones for men. And it is same thing in every aspect of modern western society. In US government there are over a dozen of various departments dealing specifically with women "problems" and zero equivalent for men.
Men do need to do better. They need to walk away from all this shit and let it implode. Not keep on generating value, so that various parasites could be "strong and independent" at their dime. 70% of US federal budget now are social expenditures. And lions share of this money goes to women. Men get very little in return for their effort under current system.
The average man can't make enough money anymore to have a wife, a modest house and mortgage, a car, children, carry some debt, etc. That's the core of most men's problems. But nobody is talking about why that has happened.
Right a declining dollar and corruption
It was designed and planned by the zionist communist Karl Marx. Their goal was to destroy the white man and conquer all countries with their ideology. They started with destroying the family unit(feminism). Everything thats being pushed in western countries are illegal in israel for a reason.
What do you get when you make the white population collapse with propaganda and import millions of non-whites with high birth rate? Its genocide.
The FED is owned by them, just like almost all banks in Europe. This is a war, average men should wake up and fight. This will be our generation's purpose.
@@kc6810 become anti semitic
Everyone is talking about it now. Most are blaming feminism. And that is why women are kinda tuning out already.
@@MarkMark-xj9dywho?
Men should quit talking to modern academics and instead should read ancient works. Plato, Aristotle, Marcus Aurelius etc. Whatever interests you. Talk with those men.
I'm an academic (a psychologist), and have to say I agree with you. The stoics have much more applicable wisdom than any academic does. We're just regular people - but the ancient philospher's work has been scrutinised over millenia, and stood the test of time.
@@kandycid100 Eew, don't put Tim Kennedy in the same sentence as the masters. The ancient Greek masters didn't have to act like d-bags because they were secure in who they were.
Thank you for this. I'm a therapist working with men and suicidal persons. More often than not, both in the same.
Chris & George: Thank you for the work you're doing and the awareness that you're spreading
Even if all men were to collectively "just do better", the same issues would still exist because women grade men on a curve. If you thanos-snapped all men to be charismatic 6 ft tall Adonises, women will still reject most of them because they can easily find someone else that's equal or superior to their current partner.
That's not to say men shouldn't try to better themselves and fulfill their potential. We also need to address the issue of women setting unrealistic standards for men while not holding themselves to any standards at all.
I don't think this will ever change. This is all biological, eons of evolution in combination with modern circumstances. Only way things will improve in this sense is out of necessity, meaning society for some reason or another is forced to change drastically. Until then, it's going to keep sucking.
Women dont set unrealistic standards for men. You need to open your eyes and look at couples on the street, not the stuff you hear via the media.
“Why can’t you just adapt to women bro” - Jordan Peterson
@@PGHEngineer Most of those men will end up getting cheated on, monkey branched away from or divorced and who's to say that a lot of those men aren't miserable trying to please some manipulative partner? Then there's all the men that are single because they're invisible. We also don't know how long those couples you see are going to last. You only seeing a glimpse by walking by some random couple.
Who's there to do better for? If it's for other people and society as a whole, then that's just conformity. If it's for the purpose of romantic relationships, then that's just simping. If it's for us... don't you think a person knows what's better for them, what they want out of life and of themselves than some random guy on or off the internet? Most [single] men nowadays do good enough, because that's sufficient for their needs, as they don't necessarily have long-term commitments, aren't married, and aren't tied by mortgage or children.
You’re there to do better for yourself. If ever the goal is for someone else that is what leads to resentment every damned time.
I'd say that's true for young men only because those are the years where you're building your skills, strengths, competency, and working towards a successful lifestyle. But what's the point of even doing that in a society that hates you? You then grow older, have no intention of having any long-term commitments of any kind, society hates you and you shame yourself without even knowing that society put you in this position in the first place, and then you either lash out in horrific ways or you burn out and fall into despair until the day you die and regret you were even born. It's bleak as shit, but personally if it weren't for people like Chris Williamson, Tom Bilyeu, Dr. Andrew Huberman, Dr. Peter Attia, Dr. Cory Clark, Christine Emba, David Goggins, and many others that I fairly recently started listening to, I could see myself further stagnating and falling into hopelessness, and that terrifies the shit out of me.
Men need a purpose to be happy and fulfilled. Something other than themselves to fight for, protect and provide for. There's no question that psychologically we're wired in this way because evolutionarily it's helped humanity to survive. The problem is that, similar to what you said, what exists that's worth this purpose? A society that hates you? Women who want nothing more than to erase masculinity and denounce men? It's no wonder so many men are devolving into incels and not wanting to approach women for fear of being publicly shamed and silenced.
You do for yourself not for anyone else @@vagrantknights
@@vagrantknightsWell, there’s always God. Why cannot He be your reason for living a life that is MORE than abundant? (John 10:10)
For romance ain’t simping. That’s the dumbest bullshit I’ve ever heard.
The problem with it, is that it’s just never enough today.
When women have problems I tell them "Just woman up, sucker!" and move on.
🤣🤣🤣
@@n0th4ckinq well this is what they wanted, they wanted to be equal, treated equal so technically if you can say men to men up then why not women to women up as well? Seems pretty equal to me.
@@n0th4ckinq If that makes wort than feminist, I do not care. Fairness is due to those who play fair, and XX chromosome carriers never played in fairness, so I have no remorse and make my day brighter.
@@n0th4ckinq Resilience is not letting the bully get away with murder. Resilience is getting stronger and becoming the Hand of Karma. Christian forgiveness like yours brought us to this timeline.
@@nosotrosloslobosestamosreg4115so why should i have remorse and care about your struggles, when you have no empathy or desire to care about mine.
"And all the time - such is the tragi-comedy of our situation - we continue to clamour for those very qualities we are rendering impossible. You can hardly open a periodical without coming across the statement that what our civilization needs is more ‘drive’, or dynamism, or self-sacrifice, or ‘creativity’. In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful."
-- C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man
what is it with you right wingers always quoting dead people who cant defend themselves?
Appreciate the guests you bring and their interesting takes on issues like this, Chris. Thank you.
I'm completely shocked to hear about instagram taking uploaded content down! During the past 3 years these plattforms, incl. CZcams, LinkedIn have developed a big brother, opinion control attitude.
A friend was recently told to resign or be terminated due to sexual harassment charges.
He was being nice and is Latino and he gently touched the back/waist of a female co-worker to direct her as she needed direction to a department. It was clearly just in the spur of the moment and he still does not remember it even happening as he is from that type of family. He had a "reputation" she said and because she reported him for that they found out many other "witnesses" which he had talked to in a non-professional way. It takes two to tango, but because it is easier to get rid of one person, then all, I think it was easier to call what he did sexual harassment and let him go. The "witnesses" who interacted with him, hit him playfully, joked a lot, leered, are all fine and the real kicker is that the main accuser and my friend had no history other than 2 previous interactions that she feels and perceived as possibly "flirty".
Moral of this true story, the double standard and the "me too" movement has gone to far with "believe women". My friend if he were to be a soldier, would be the type to give his life. Some of the "witnesses" threw him under the bus. He had never done anything physically other than follow along with the jokes, and it was all jokes and laughter. His only mistake is using the companies email and instant message to interact with the female colleagues. Now he is out and they are fine.
His reputation is on thin ice and looking for another job is hard for him. He was told "to do better" but is he supposed to be better than women who can get away with that type of behavior?
Part of the problem is that women seem easily convinced to change their perspective on an interaction that, originally, they enjoyed. When someone says, "oh, he was harassing you" or "oh, he was flirting with you", women seem perceivably more inclined to jump on board and rewrite their perspective on the instance. It's ludicrous. It seems like an opportunity to enjoy a power trip and ruin someone's life.
Their (usually) less attractive friends/coworkers will be jealous that they didn't get the attention and attempt to sabotage the currently positive male-female relationship in whatever capacity or form currently exists.
Women are more likely to go with the groupthink. Nobody WANTS to lose their friend group but men are more likely to Eric Cartman it and say "screw you guys I'm going home"
Wear a body cam.
A man needs to be able to prove his innocence. His guilt and her victimisation are assumed.
@@MatthewSmith-zx6uk I think there's a reason why they change their respective like that: it's about having common ground with other women. Women don't want to find themselves being the "odd one out."
There's actually a book on this, called "Odd Girl Out" which I remember hearing about a few years ago. It might be the Rachel Simmons one. I haven't read it, but I heard someone describing the idea behind the book.
If a woman has been sexual harassed, the easiest way to support her is to say you were harassed too. Minor incidents will be magnified to help the case. The idea is that the stories are true, with the interpretations or narratives being twisted to appear worse than how it originally felt.
@@tomsmith6513 yea, I see that. Men too. Most people don't want to be the odd one out in the group. It's part of what it is to be human. Also, that desire is easily manipulated.
The problem with just do better is it's usually said by people who have no clue what the world's like anymore
It's like "mow some yards to make money" yea problem with that is what if I have no money and no vehicle and everyone around me already has a professional crew cutting it each week?
Start a business, ok doing WHAT!? with what capital? And how do I feed myself in the mean time? How do I have a business while working another full time or part time job?
Nobody actually answers these things they just tell you suck it up and work harder and stop being lazy
People always say men should talk more and get in touch with their feelings. This is how women deal with emotions. I think it's more helpful.for men to do something physical. My brother dealt with his grief once by running up and down the side of a hill. I do the same to limited degree.
I see disparities in how American society encourages men to "just do better," while women often receive more substantial societal support when facing precarious situations. I think this is rooted in historical perceptions of women as the "weaker sex," traditionally reliant on men's protection and provision for a less precarious existence.
While numerous advocacy groups have been actively championing women's rights through public campaigns and demonstrations, to the extent of my awareness, I haven't come across comparable movements within male advocacy groups striving for men's rights (Please enlighten me if have been missing them). The exception lies in certain online forums where public discourse on this matter has taken place.
I wonder if various factors i.e. the narrowing gender inequality gap and decreasing income disparity between men and women, coupled with an overall widening of the income gap, are contributing to an increasing number of men who belong to the lower socio-economic class? Technological advances are also rendering certain male-dominated occupations that rely on physical labor obsolete, while women are making significant strides in education (particularly in US universities) and climbing the ranks within corporate hierarchies.
Could it be that these shifts are playing a role in fostering an increased sense of uncertainty and insecurity among men in Western societies, especially considering that prior to the Feminist Revolution, women assumed domestic roles and weren't perceived as men's "competitors"?
What steps can we take to progress in supporting the needs and rights of both men and women, fostering a harmonious coexistence?
I think a lot of this red pill, men's rights stuff is do to men's insecurity. They want their girlfriends/wives to be in a position where they can't leave them. Women having rights doesn't decrease men's rights, it's not a zero sum game. Men's rights isn't actively fought for cause they've had all the rights for all of history. Only now are there like a cpl areas (custody cases, what else...) where they're arguably descriminated against. Men have equal access to mental health programs ect, they just seek help less often. This is part of the toxic masculinity--that they should never address their emotions or seek help.
This reminds me of something Jordan Peterson said in one of his University lecture videos. He said that genuine mental illness is rare, most of the time it's a life complexity problem. Life gets on top of you, and you see no way out. No single variable to 'blame', especially not a constructed vague thing like 'toxic masculinity'.
"Just do better"
"Just stop oil"
"Just take your shot in the arm"
"Just cover your face"
"Just don't touch your face"
"Just be naturally as effortlessly funny and flawless in timing off the cuff as movie characters someone spent months writing contrived fantasy situations and dialogue for"
The list goes on......🤣
Repeat after me fellas "I'M A PIECE OF TRASH AND YOUUUUU'RE GONNA DEAL WITH IT!!!!"
We are individuals. Stopping grouping every man together with the worst of us.
I liked your comment but after I liked it I read it again and I'm not sure. You don't want what groups of men lumped in with what you call "the worst of us"? The self-motivated, well socialized, happy-go-lucky, horse-shoe up their arse types? You don't want them lumped in with "the worst"? I'm not sure whey they would be in "the worst" group at all.
Men need real-world solutions, not just to be told vaguely that they're not good enough and need to do better indeed. "Just do better" is an empty platitude ultimately.
Men need to embrace their masculinty and be men. Stop feminising boys and men. Men need to pick up martial arts , get fit and spend more time outside then in offices. Bring back truth, honour and courage. Cowardice and sneakyness needs to be stamped out.
Who is feminizing boys though. My feeling is that too many boys and girls are being raised in single parent households and the great percentage of those households are headed by women. Until men start staying with their children or not get their partners pregnant, we will never see a change in this "feminizing". That goes for all these women who are just getting pregnant willy nilly. Birth Control is exceedingly good so there's no reason for mothers with six kids by five different fathers. I don't think women are feminizing boys on purpose but it is women who primarily are raising kids. It fails the girls and it really fails the boys who end up high on the female scale of emotions but are completely missing the integral male influences they can only get with a 24/7 dad.
Truth, courage, strength, honor
@@KnottyCeltic80% of divorces initiated by women… go on blame the men again lol hilarious
@@KnottyCeltic I agree with everything except "Birth Control is exceedingly good'. No, it's very bad for women.
Great understanding of how structural vulnerability impacts men and acknowledgement of the idea the solutions do not reside exclusively only within individuals but but within the societal structures that impact them.
It doesn't help that organisations like the Broken Broadcasting Corporation, that here in the UK we are pretty much forced to pay for, victim blame men that the cause of their anxieties is their 'Toxic Masculinity'
Just wait 10years from now, when more and more men get tired of getting treated like this
The majority of men in this world are slaves. We till the land, we mine the oil, gold & coal, we create, fix, & clean the ditches. We save people, we fight the wars. We do everything. And we nor get credit or love back. We are the forgotten, The stepped on, the unappreciated, The Voiceless, dispensable & misunderstood.
Don't you have the urge to just burn it all down?
We men aren't helping one another as much as we should be.
Actually, I wish we told other groups to just do better.
Well, other groups must be doing something right if they can convince their women to have their babies. If you did, women wouldn't be boycotting your reproductive rights. It's quite embarrassing isn't it? that you act like masculine men but can't actively get women to have your babies?
Women just need to do better! Eliminate their social programs. Sounds equal!
Great point. 😂 Strong and independent only with the help of the system which is run predominantly by men. A woman saying to a man to do better is like Mary Antoinette saying to the starving peasants "Let them eat cake.".
Yup, they need to woman up already and do better!
We've now had over 40 years of gynocentric policy making and education. I've a daughter and 2 granddaughters abs when my wife a d daughter were pregnant I was paying to the good I don't believe in fur then to have daughters, knowing how the rides were flowing and how everything possible was being and would be done to enhance the life chances and expectations of females, and that the complete opposite would be the case for males.
So much discourse had been had about the toxicity of men and masculinity when for decades the only actual toxicity had been that directed at men and boys.
There is currently no incentive for men to "do better."
Men are driven by their utitily in their immediate environment.
If there is no utility for them, why should they stick around and try to find a reason to stick around.
On the other hand, talking about a problem only acknowledges that there is a problem, it does not somehow make it easier to resolve said problem.
I have been on a social media site for a few years. Whenever a man posts something generally nothing really happens. However if a young woman posts something the content is liked by plenty of people. However it is commented on by mostly other woman because if a man is objective or honest in any way he is slammed emedatly. What this means to me is as men WE ARE NOT ABLE TO SPEAK publicly about anything.
So true. And to be honest the net effect is I love my family and honestly feel no interest in any other woman's issue. They have their society and I participate in it as an asexual until I come home to my real women. I'm not a hater and some even think I care. But my true emotions stay home. They did that.
For me: they never told me what "do better" actually was. I had to figure it out myself, but I understand not all people have the opportunities I had.
We all did. The difference is whether you put the do better stuff into action. A lot of people have a hard time to motivate themselves to get up in the morning so it will take a ton more than just "do better" to get them moving. I would guess only a small %'age of people, male as well as female are strongly self-motivated, especially these days. Because I'm old(er), I lived more of my life without screen time and tech gadgets than with it and I really think kids these days spend far too much time on screens. You never learn to be motivated, enjoy different activities, learn social skills with other boys and girls and look forward to things if all you ever do is sit in front of one screen after another inside the house.
Get a dirt bike (preferably two-stroke), consume nothing but 80’s metal (Scorpions, Van Halen, Def Leppard, etc) , do lots of push-ups , eat whatever you want. AVOID rap music at all costs. The transformation is rapid so be prepared. You won’t be the same 👍
Pretty sure that turns you into a Hell's Angel, not a machismo machine
@@shapshooter7769 Hells Angels? You mean that biker club with all those rules? They ride four-strokes , wear uniforms and go to meetings…… “Boring!”
I genuinely have always wanted a dirtbike.
"Stop being all of the things that attract beautiful women."
Well, if you did, women wouldn't be boycotting your reproductive rights. It's quite embarrassing isn't it? that you act like masculine men but can't actively get women to have your babies?
I was not expecting a black pilled commentary from Chris. Impressive!
27y old from England here, I can’t name one friend I have (around 10, all male) that doesn’t have a mental health issue.
The real issue unfortunately is that the western societal ideologies which have stemmed from feminism are actually killing men, literally.
The majority of western woman are completely out of control (attitude, promiscuity & lack of accountability). I don’t think it’s that they don’t want to listen, I think it’s more that they’ve been brought up to hate men really just don’t care at all.
I don’t actually think I’d want to raise either a son or a daughter in this society.
There are good women out here, but far and few between.
My adult sons are probably both stronger than I was at their age but emotional issues that were considered normal growing pains in the 1980s are now medicalsed and called "suffering from depression" or "suffering from anxiety". This seems to immediately make them worse because its saying "you've got a mental health condition of the kind you're probably stuck with forever" rather than "don't worry about it. All young men go through this in their twenties. You'll grow out of it but it will take a few years"
@@PGHEngineer solid advice, lucky enough I’ve already been through my waves of it. But for sure labelling doesn’t help at all.
Western ideology is a dumpster fire it's no wonder why other countries around the world are ditching America and its allies going their own way politically and economically on a global stage
@@user-db5hhb generally speaking, I find Muslims very respectful people. Their community is welcoming. I think the majority of the current generation don’t see Muslims as threats although some boomers still do.
Personally, I think Muslims have held their own in the mists of modern day societal standards. It’s an interesting topic, a strong religious way of life in western society - I mean I think their could be a little crossover between the two, but overall I see Muslims keeping their traditions strong. I have a few friends who are Muslims are they mention the English girls are crazy! Haha
Maybe the conclusion is they’ve become a little open to western society’s views in hopes not to be labelled terms like ‘misogynistic’ ‘sexiest’ etc.
My view on societal feminism is the aligned with Jordan Peterson, misreading of history and fake empowerment to give people with no much going on a reason to fight for something. Western woman are some of the most privileged, well looked after people in the world which is why I believe they find the smallest inconveniences to complain about. From dating a few western women, a large majority of them are complete nightmares, no emotional control but I’ll say they are so smart when it comes to psychological domination - the mental gymnastics to manipulate reality to fit with their delusional world.
@@jackgray776English girls are crazy ? So are english men that are pretending to be women…. It goes both ways it takes two to tango. Women are a reflection of their men.
I’m genuinely ignorant here. I don’t hear the term ‘toxic masculinity’ anywhere else other than male positive podcasts
Discussing how it shouldn’t be used. Which I think we all agree.
Who is using it and is it legit being used widespread?
Or are we spreading it by mistake
Leftist media is using it frequently.
Society shows no remorse for hurting, harming, humiliates, and feminize Men
Ask women in general whom fought for equality in workplaces etc, why they needed to bring up "problems" regarding salaries and so on, when all they could have done i just "Do better". Appearently its not that easy. But now people are trying to tell a big majority of men thats "all it takes". Thats a double standard so bad that Islam will make a raise again worldwide as a reaction to all this freemade women. Thats why many young men turn to Islam as you spoken about in previous videos.
Sure, all other groups whine about how unfair it is and how the world should cater to them. But what does that solve?
You can complain your entire life about how unfair life is but that’s not a solution. There is only one solution you can count on: solve your own problems.
Women didn't solve their own problems. They moaned and complained until something was done. Men are doing the same but all of sudden that's not allowed. Can you explain?
@@user-og6hl6lv7p Where did I say it isn't allowed? I am not your mother.
Yes, many women bitched and cried about how unfair life is, and they got what they wanted, and look at the pathetic result. Is that what you want? To become a man version of the whiny pathetic feminist constantly complaning about how oppressed you are? My advice stands whether you are a man or a woman, or any of the 4000 genders you decide you want to be.
Or do you want to take ownership and succeed in life?
You can do whatever you want, but I do not feel sorry for the whiny feminist, and I will not feel sorry for you. You can sit around crying about what a victim you are, meanwhile others will be out there doing stuff. Who do you think will be farther in life in 10 years?
What if you can't solve your problems?
@@tuinov6286 what are your problems that can’t be solved?
@@HappinessDIY Women are naturally attracted to taller men. If you are short how you grow taller? We can go on but your old age will stop you from thinking straight. Young men can't buy a house because with average salary they would have to save every dollar for 60 years to buy an old house. Young men are not lazy. Its just not worth it. Your generation ruined life.
Its like saying “Stop being poor”
Overdue for a men’s movement.
You're right! Unfortunately, a big movement that started back years ago was MGTOW and the last thing we need is more division within the nuclear family and I think that's all that MGTOW accomplished, in my opinion. I am happy to see so many women, young ones, talking about traditional values now and wanting to get back to that, so, that's a good sign.
@@chloebelle4923I would say some of the issues come from the top 1-5% of men who sleep around a ton because it’s so available to them. If they had more traditional values, maybe a lot of women would have a different perspective.
But I’m also a freedoms guy. I believe in people’s personal freedoms to live however they’d like. This is one of the pitfalls though. The marriage situation in our country is a mess. And it’s not just us, it is happening in most liberated countries.
Yes, I understand I really brought no solutions to the table here. I need to be better.
Men don't need a "movement". They just need to grow the fuck up.
It shouldn't be a movement so much as a quit moving at blue color jobs
@@chloebelle4923 One, MRAs started long before MGTOW. Second, MGTOW has nothing to do with nuclear family, stop pushing outright lies. And third, it is not men that generate division. But they are ones that should stop funding it, by stopping contributing to this corrupt society. And forth, "so many" women talking about it is irrelevant, they need to actually do something. Till then they all can fuck the right off.
You can't bid men 'be better,' yet at the same moment keep the solution off the table. Men, as Chris says elsewhere, respond to data by acting. Exploring your 'feelings' is helpful, but only as a way to come up with an effective solution.Telling men that all their choices are toxic is going to leave men stuck facing suicide as the sole possible way out.
Men need to stay with their partners at least long enough to raise the children but what we see is some men spreading babies far and wide and not raising any of them. A mother can raise boys up but it takes a father to turn a boy into a man. How do you turn back the clock to a time when men stayed with their pregnant partners? How do you make that popular again? Very little in life can go back to the way it used to be. I feel like unless fathers stay their their children's lives, nothing will get better for boys growing up and for young men.
@KnottyCeltic the vast majority of divorces are filed by women not by men
@@KnottyCeltic I have at least a half dozen male friends who'd love nothing more than raising a nuclear family but it's either out of their control or they decided against it (or both). Kids need strong fathers but seek accountability with women who won't even let men get their foot in the door.
@@RadiantHealthForAllhave you ever asked why men are being dumped on such a large scale? Lack of emotional and domestic support, financial abuse, infidelity are a few I can think of....
@chitlinjuice it comes down to evolutionary biology. Women en masse have little sense of loyalty. They are more opportunistic and this came from our long and violent history. If a marauding band of warriors came through the village and killed the men and took the women then the survival instinct is to go with the new men. This happened during WW2 in France where French women took to the German occupiers, and those women were publicly humiliated after the war.
Add to this the instant worldwide communication via social media and the opportunities for women to ditch their men for the green grass on the otherside explodes exponentially.
All the anecdotes of divorces I have, myself included, are of decent men with jobs where the wife gets bored and starts sleeping around, usually with some bad boy "danger" type. Women have endless options and are opportunistic by nature. My wife traveled without me for work once and that was that. She met a guy from rich parents who was getting ready to train for a multi month sailing expedition, a man who gave tours on his boat, and a guy from Costa Rica. All of a sudden the husband who worked a lot, was kind and chivalrous, had insurance, and planted a 70 tree fruit orchard for us was too boring so she divorced me for the guy who gave tours on his fancy boat.
“Just do better” are the least useful words on the face of planet.
Well men idealize rugged individualism when in reality nobody got ahead with that mentality. All successful people deal and use multiple people to get what they want and it seems the more people you are getting willing to help the more successful they are. Men need to understand this and start to band together not as competitors which society wants us to do to be as productive as possible but as people existing in this world together. Of course that is evidently communism. Also feminist have to realize the patriarchy was created by and for RICH men. Regular working class men are just as much part of a struggle as they are.
I think many feminists do understand that patriarchy is exactly that, few rich men having way too much influence. That poorly worded "toxic masculinity" happens to be very much related to what you talk about, it's that rugged individualism, survival of the fittest, cut-throat competition, "men don't cry" etc etc.. which is part of the mentality that makes life a struggle (also struggle against others) and helps legitimize those who already got theirs. And yeah you're right, anything that would give power to normal working people is, of course, communism. That last ditch scare word that ought to straighten out any sensible man not to band with others..
Impressive, very based.
Where your guest talsk about being scolded on his own page for what he talks about, and then later where he points out that men are expected to speak and say the right things and punished if they say the wrong things, we see just how much deference to women's feelings and prerogatives this culture demands. And generally it's other men doing the enforcing.
Its like this…”the people who are causing the most suffering are complaining about suffering..? Anyways moving on”
Being a Man has always been difficult, different challenges for each generation, but it’s never been simple. Just do better is good advice for anyone but seems to me to be dismissive.
I acknowledge that many of us are struggling, but we need to be careful that we stay clear of the victim mentality that dominates current society.
I partially agree but within the context of the dating/mating market today, men are in completely uncharted territory. Due to social media and dating apps, many men are going long periods of time with little to no sex, dates, etc. There are tons of stats showing this to be the case, one interesting trend you'll see is that when instagram and tinder first popped onto the scene was when this trend began to accelerate exponentially. There was a stat from I think OkCupid where women rated 80% of men as "unattractive". Here is the big reason for this, a young woman today may have access to more men in one year than a woman of previous generations may have had in an entire lifetime. Again, this is due to technology like social media, dating apps, etc. In the past women dated men that they had some proximity to, so things like church, work, school, friend network and then random chance encounters in public. The average baby boomer male did not struggle to find a girl to date, eventually end up married or have children. Now, the AVERAGE young man today is struggling to get even a date, let alone a relationship or marriage.
I agree with your comment about the victim mentality and how it doesn't benefit your life or society. I think it's important for young men to be aware of this reality and know how to navigate it to the best of their ability. Unfortunately, the end result of what we are seeing in the dating market is that both sides end up unhappy and not finding what they want.
Thanks for the contribution 👍🏼
Ooooooh, no no no, us men CAN solve our problems by trying harder. Trying harder, in the complete opposite direction of what those who tell us to try harder want. :)
Do mend want to be cuddled? Life is tough. Men online claim that women are delusional and can do whatever they want is that what men want? To be cuddled by society? Talk your problems through and also come up with solutions to your problems and how you are willing to fix it. Stop this "oh woah is me" attitude man..for real. Instead of sitting there playing the victim, find solutions to the problem you're facing. Thats how CEOs are great men because they solve problems
What? CEO's are some of the most awful, nepotistic, privileged people on earth. Hardly great.
The problem with telling a man to “Just Do Better” is that if he is underperforming when he reaches adulthood, it means that multiple people in his life have tried and failed to improve his performance over the years. It means that you, the critic, think that you know him better than any of those people did.
I appreciate you being a voice for boys and men.
Well said, super important points
This is the problem with pushing topics underground and letting them fester. If things were fine, a guy like Andrew Tate would not be gaining popularity.
Of course, I wouldn't be surprised if that was by design. Push your opponents into "fringe" groups or associate them with "fringe" people and then discredit them or worse.
Nailed it.
This is even evident on the lowest rungs of society: homeless people. Women have always been taken care of. If a woman is homeless she is immediately put into shelter and given ample resources. And if you're a woman with children, you're given the royal treatment. We don't allow women to suffer like that (which is good and right). If a woman has had a traumatic event happen to her, she is cared for and housed. Good luck if you're a homeless man, you can go to the end of the line. You can fend for yourself. Seen this happen a million times.
@@MinomeEslinde Everybody HAS to pay taxes. Money that government is then supposed to spent to benefit society.
In reality most of this money is being simply wasted on women, not on most pressing issues. 70% of US federal budget is social spending. With lions share of it going to women.
Why? Because women are biggest voting bloc, they vote in much larger numbers than men do and they are far easier to influence. So government panders to them. And women do not give a shit that it will bankrupt society, they will be taking out as much as they can. Because they always lived on mens expense and their spending capabilities were only limited by amount of resources that men provided them. As a group they simply lack restrictions as men do. They will also prefer spending not of what is important, but on what feels good.
Same goes for corporations. Because women are bigger spenders than men are and they are easier to influence.
In both cases problem is that it is men that generate majority of value. Neither government nor women are particularly productive. Average American woman is a net loss for society of ~300k over her lifetime.
This is why there are no organizations of helping those homeless men. They are are mules, their purpose is to work and die. While parasites get to live off their work and contributions.
I'm a black woman and when I was homeless I slept in my car. Nobody came to save me. Nobody had sympathy for me. Please stop with the "women have it better" oppression Olympics.
The discourse around the "Just be better" statement kind of falls flat when many of the men should be more masculine crowd often tell men they should suck it up and hit the grind.
It is the same advice but from a different perspective, all people could just be better, but nobody agrees on what it means to be better.
They say that men who sexually assault boys get higher sentences than those who assault girls.
Guy who did me multiple times got a 2 year suspended sentence.
I was told off at work for using “Dear name” in an email greeting.
Stresses
- Relationship breakdown - Fix yourself and maybe you'll relationships will improve.
- Work Culture - Get a new job.
- Employment - Get a new job.
- Financial worries - Live a simple life and stop buy shit you don't need.
- Social Isolation - Minimize screen time and social media and go outside and interact with the world.
- Lack of male friendly services - Stop being a bitch or get a dog.
- Lack of empathy towards men - Have empathy for others before you complain about a lack of empathy towards you.
Blatantly ignorant and apathetic.
I was a boy/ man my whole 27 years of life. Only difference is i was transgender. Only since March have i experienced some deep internal changes and have started detransition. It's been less than 2 months where i solidly am perceived as a woman, yet the difference in how people treat me and react is shocking. People defer to me excessively, are almost always kind and patient to the point i can't tell what's going on. Men definitely have a different dynamic including trying to buy me things or initiate conversation.
When i was still a man i lived and saw situations that should be extreme and rare, but are institutionalized. I was a youth counselor in a network of organizations where men were disparaged openly almost daily, especially white men. I couldn't share about any of my experiences of hardship, sexism and NEVER about the abuse in childhood perpetuated by my mom, who was extremely anti- male and a radical feminist. Her religion and actions reinforced my experience as a boy being hated and singled out, on top of my health problems being ignored for so many years i fought to escape when i was 14.
Even if you cut out the details here, the difference in how people socialize with me now is so shocking i feel like I'm going insane from the sudden culture shock. My only thought on how to do something real about this now is to use my strange, sudden unearned influence to be blunt and point out cruelty and hostility towers men. I will always seek to help my brothers out of their isolation and crisis as well. Been there myself.
2:01
TRUE
What does "why aren't men doing well?" Mean? Who are doing well then? Also there ARE tons of government programs in most countries to help all ppl, including men, who are struggling with variety of issues
I think telling men to just do better is a good thing in many cases. A reminder to take life by the balls and that if you want changes to happen then you need to take some responsibility. But, I had the impression that term was used a lot by women during the "me too" and similar movement, like to remind men not to sexualy harass women! In that conext it seems quite a meaningless slogan. It's not like rapists think what they're doing is good or acceptable in society. They're just bad people and they'll do it anyway!
And they enjoys Men to be Suffering in Silence
It this the equivalent of the Barbie movie and mainstream media telling all women they look like 'Barbie dolls' now - meaning models and movie stars, in real life? In order for many females to feel more confident in their appearance, we have former Playboy centerfolds and stunning movie stars telling ALL women that equality/equity exists in beauty, fitness, intelligence, talent, etc.. They want to get rid of idealistic standards and include ALL females in top-level status so they can boost their self-esteem, self-image, etc.. instead of individuals accepting what they've been given and making the most of it. Frustrating for people with a natural inclination towards higher standards, a critical nature and the drive to achieve!
The mainstream media should address the topics of problems on the dating apps (if it's genuinely biased) and porn addiction online. A former FBI profiler recently stated on a documentary that 'porn addiction is as strong as a heroin addiction.' Extremely dangerous for guys (certain guys). And it's sad. Females who've been treated well by guys and have had healthy and genuine relationships with different types of men DO have emotional empathy and DO genuinely care!
Women do love them some copium. That's addictive too.
@@secretagent4610 SOME "copium" is telling all women they look like Barbie dolls no matter their size, shape and facial features? Or is it outright lying? Being told you looked like a Barbie doll USED to be a special or rare compliment. It wasn't the norm.
@@elisabeth4342 copium = lying to oneself. Women are collectively lying to themselves and each other and the media sells them the copium too because selling copium makes them millions of dollars.
2:25
TRUEEEE
Gaslighting, gaslighting damn you!
Is there such a thing as "master regret?"
Issue with telling men get better is they dont tell them bow to get better
Because they don't care about the solution as they're not living in men's shoes. It's the "Let them eat cake" mentality.
@@secretagent4610many male self improvement channel just say "just get more masculine bro" and then followed by like a 2000 dollar course they'll sell you. You have to weed through a bunch of trash to find the good male self improvement channels tbh
Some women do not accept that men process stuff differently and in general think differently. When men open up they immediately get shut down because its not how they "supposed" be dealing with their situation.
If anyone here lives in Grand Rapids, MI, I’m looking for some deep thinking friends.
I was born there unfortunately I'm in Texas
Yes. So my technical analysis of the first minute of this video is it's a good kick to the feminist va jay jay. Double 👍👍 to that!!!
The hilarity of tell the men that the system hasn’t been working for that they are privileged and all the problems in the world are their fault not only that but actually trying to improve themselves by listening to people like Peterson or Tate is also bad. It’s like chasing a rat into a corner then setting him on fire and blaming him
Well said!!
Men are definitely privileged. They have all the societal, cultural, religious and biological advantages, most of which were set by themselves.
And Tate is definitely bad.
He designed PHD (pimping h0es degree) courses teaching boys how to turn loyal girlfriends into camgirls.
He taught them how to trivialize cheating on those girlfriends.
He taught them how to lie about taxes to steal money from those girls.
He lied to his male clients about fake visa appointments to steal from them too.
After doing a bunch of haram stuff, he conveniently converted to islam to manipulate stupid muslims as well.
He is a misogynistic piece of sh!t who made an entire career by lying and manipulating people. But you'll forget all his actions because he tells you to go the gym and makes up crap about "the matrix".
Massive sense of irony when you use those two names. These people represent the “do better bro” more than anyone else and then profiteering off it at the same time which is taking finances from suffering men…. Incredible
@@James_36 Who really benifits if men clean their room become comfortable expressing emotions but still have self control get wealthy refuse to wallow in sorrows and gets 6 pack abs.
@@grinningchicken "get wealthy" "clean your room" "get 6 pack abs" you needed these people to tell you these things? "get wealthy" is the one that makes me giggle the hardest and how stupid naïve people swallow it up
I noticed all this stuff starting in the 90s and I think it has something to do with video games and a testosterone drop because too many video games causes a major testosterone drop over time, then moms became really over involved in their sons lives to a very critical point. Used to watch these things and shake my head. Then don't get me started on how bad too much porn is for people. Then most women got really ugly, fake, high maintenance. Women and sex are a motivator for men, no motivation equals low testosterone equals bad for men. Bad for society.That's just what I saw as a woman noticing things.
If you can keep your head about you, when everyone else is losing theirs and blaming it on you.
We cannot blame in the Name of Feminism and Women's Right, and we blame only Manosphere
As far as I can tell "toxic masculinity" has never been defined. Telling a man to stop towering over someone to intimidate them is specific. Or maybe telling a man to stop yelling is specific. There are any number of specific things to can say that men can actually act on. But using undefined terms is nothing more than dirty fighting. Its goal is to shame, demean, etc..
So the women pushing this have become the very thing they are criticizing. Funny how that works.
I wish every man that turns to suicide, turn your aggression on the people that are deliberatly messing you up inside. Job, woman, mother,state, turn your attention to those that are injuring you in the head.
You are an example why resentment is so dangerous.
@@divisadero8859 My woman lost her adult son to abuse from his baby's mom. He turned a gun on his own head in front of an abusive monster woman. Having met that woman that drove him to suicide, I know she is a monster. I have witnessed her rip through man after man, all retreating from her in self preservation. I can clearly see what she does to their son. She has tried to seduce me in front of the mother of the man she drove to suicide. I know that these monsters will go onto the next man and his family bringing destruction, devastation, and death. The best thing a man can do in these situations is clean up society. If he does not, she will go on to destroy the next man. Yes, she is a raging feminist with a monster sex drive to devour another man. At eleven years old her son is talking suicide. Playing captain save a hoe gets men ended.
Not father of course. And some men are taking your advice, you'll be happy to hear.
@@divisadero8859 Only resentment will change men's situation. It can be used as fuel to make things better.
@@divisadero8859 Would the world really be a worse place if a self deleting person took out a crop of corrupt politicians along with them?
I also don't support Tate. But, in a society where boys keep getting neglected it's little wonder they find refuge in Tate.
Who is actually telling men to "just do better"? I've never heard or seen anyone say that in my life in this context.
Saying suicidality is a mental health issue is a bit like saying getting stabbed is a mental health issue. No it's not! You got stabbed and you feel bad. It's not mental health that is the cause.
Where are the solutions though? Everyone is talking about how this is a problem but no one offers solutions.
ALL groups should "just do better".
The only fair situation is equality before the law.
Equity is evil.
If the law, businesses, schools and media would actually be color and gender blind and treat everyone the same, no preferential treatment, many men would not have problems like we have now.
Women complain about men needing to step up while they have been given extra financial support, emotional support and undeserved amount of credibility their whole life.
Men don't want charity tho
Be more toxic, till it drips from your pores!
As a woman who truly loves men and understands the difference’s between the sexes I see society is not ok. The sexes have their differences because we are supposed to complement each other so the kinds of support men need is not the same as the kind of support women need and there’s nothing wrong with that. It breaks my heart the harm happening to both men and women. Good men are essential so are good wom women and both are lacking today.
Would be interesting to talk to you.
@@divisadero8859 No sorry I did the female version of MGTOW because nobody wants a fat middle aged woman and I’m ok with that
Telling men to do better is a way for feminists to avoid having to admit their policies did not bring about the utopia they promised.
It did bring a utopia in a sense, a utopia for THEM, not for everyone (men). That utopia is them gaslighting men that women are victims of a make believe patriarchy so it can get men to do all the work for women and women to be given special privileges for merely existing. Feminism is the biggest grift ever.
@@secretagent4610Except women are not happy either.
@@divisadero8859 Yes and no. Average to hot young women or women in general are happy in the short term (riding the cc and getting free everything with little to no effort), but unhappy in the long term when they get post wall now that men have figured out the game is rigged and are walking away.
Actually, feminism has helped a LOT of women and their parents.
Utopia has never been a thing at any point in history, but things are a lot better for women today, thanks to feminism.
@@blue4u2054 Yes, women have more rights than ever, even more than men, but simultaneously and ironically, their happiness has been on the decline since the 60's, since third wave feminism.
Because we have no incentive to do do.
I can't count the times I've considered suicide due to financial stresses. I'd rather die than be homeless.
Having grown up in a narcissistic family i have read a ton of books to understand what happened to me and this gave me insight on what happened in society with male/female dynamics. shame and scapegoating is the method that narcissists use to control their victims and to dump their toxic shame on(john bradshaw). females can be victims. males according to society cannot be victims since this is a threat to the female narrative, they can only be perpetrators so male victims of female narcissists conveniently don't exist.
guidance reminds female victims of their own abusive father. also i believe as men we are biased to die, protect and provide for women at any cost due to our disposable nature, biology and also cultural indoctrination. anyone who directs the female victims to "just do better" and take responsibility for their own future is labeled an "abuser", "victim blamer" and gets attacked by a lot of white knights. as women tend to be more collectivist than men they made the personal political and we put them on a piedestal and enable them in a cult like fashion to be stuck in their victim identity. men get shamed instead. black and white and collectivist thinking leads to abuser/victim dynamic.
this is very bad for the men obviously but also for the victimized women as they will get stuck in this identity and die alone or with 12 cats. since women again, tend to be collectivist they banded together and formed victim cults, basically a lot of the third wave feminist movement. (these cults are basically the same as the male incel victim cults but they are seen as good). this enables narcissists to openly shame and scapegoat men while the entire society cheers on. this entire dynamic of scapegoating is basically the psychology of all dysfunctional religions or ideologies or family systems.
one extremely bizarre thing is that narcissistic men who abuse women can thrive in this system by making themselves out to be feminist heroes or they join feminist movements. they get public accolades and narcissistic supply while getting easy access to wounded women(with zero boundaries) that they victimize behind closed doors. if they get found out they can simply repent or write a text proclaiming that "muh patriarchy made me do it". other men make themselves out to be weak and shame themselves or other men in order to get a pat on the head.
sorry if this comes of as off topic or very dystopian or negative but this is my honest take on growing up in a culture like we have today and i really needed to get this off my chest.
TLDR:
i grew up in a narcissistic family with a female narcissist. this made me terrified of women. i have felt at great un-ease when growing up in the culture because the public "atmosphere" of shaming and scapegoating men basically reminded me of my own family dynamic at home. this made me isolate.
It''s possible to overcome this type of childhood. I grew up with a malignant narcissistic father, and I have always gotten along better with men than women. Today I'm married with two sons.
@@erikataylor5629 thanks for your kind and encouraging words, i believe you! i have doing therapy for around 4 years, and working in a 12 step programme for around 2-3 ish years.
i don't isolate as much anymore but still relapse from time to time. getting better and better though, i even had the courage to date a couple of months ago :)