Ren Ft. Bibi - Crutch

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  • čas přidán 5. 05. 2016
  • Pre order my upcoming album Sick Boi here ! bio.to/Ren-Sick-Boi
    This was shot with no budget at the end of a frickin ' freezing October, felt like I was going to get hypothermia lying on cold slate for a few hours, serious case of mind over matter but so happy with how it turned out :) The song came about after a nervous breakdown following lots of visits to emergency room after some scary health problems. It's a song for anybody who has faced any kind of mental challenges, depression, anxiety, or health struggles while in a relationship and all the fears that come along for the ride with that. It is also a song for the courageous and wonderful people who support their other halves, family or friends during times of crisis :) In whatever context I hope my music can help take some of the weight from anyone suffering and help people feel less alone.
    Buy the debut album here www.freckledangels.com
    Itunes
    itunes.apple.com/gb/album/fre...
    Amazon
    www.amazon.co.uk/Freckled-Ang...
    Listen to crutch on Spotify
    open.spotify.com/track/2AbQJT...
    Make sure to subscribe to youtube for all the latest videos
    / renmakesmusic
    Soundcloud here
    www.soundcloud.com/renmakesmusic
    Twitter here
    renmakesmusic
    Instagram @renmakesmusic
    Cinematography by Tom slater
    www.tomslaterfilm.com
    You can help support me doing what I love by grabbing some merch here: xvii-music-group.myshopify.co...
    Big love!
    Ren
    X
  • Hudba

Komentáře • 1,4K

  • @davidmacpherson4673
    @davidmacpherson4673 Před rokem +1172

    I’m 66 years old Ren , never have I wanted an artist to make it to the top more , I love your creativity and your spirit, thank you

    • @louannlang7471
      @louannlang7471 Před rokem +27

      I believe he's "an old soul" in every sense of the phrase ❤️❤️❤️❤️

    • @83_is_the_magic_number...
      @83_is_the_magic_number... Před rokem +31

      As a fifties baby, I have lived through rock'n'roll, prog, glam rock, punk, modern romance, mind numbing pop and more.
      Ren's ability to write and perform at such pace is awesome.
      A big fan of watching the fun busking of the Big Push and the way that they have built up such a local fanbase.
      Their sell out gigs in Brighton are a sign of how much they are appreciated.
      Ren... thank you for 'Hi Ren' and the masive portfolio of socio-punk and deep psycho strained music.
      Lovin' it.

    • @sanelliott7695
      @sanelliott7695 Před rokem +13

      Me too but I truly believe that doesn't matter to Ren....true artist ❤️

    • @davidjarvie9546
      @davidjarvie9546 Před rokem +9

      I agree totally as a 61 year old.🇬🇧👍

    • @KatieM786
      @KatieM786 Před rokem +1

      💯

  • @RenMakesMusic
    @RenMakesMusic  Před 8 lety +891

    Maybe if I move,
    maybe my troubles wont follow me
    I've got none to loose
    cause everything turned to dust around me
    my hope it got so bruised
    cause circumstance held me and it drowned me
    I'm searching for the glue
    To try and fix these broken things around me
    My love if I loose
    my mind i'd be so ashamed if you witnessed
    I try my best for you
    to try and keep my head but my god its slipping
    an unspoken truth...i feel my body dying
    as the clock keeps ticking
    and everything I knew is painted with a fear that its all for nothing
    Could I interrupt?
    if the weight should get too heavy ill help hold this burden
    ill walk with you my love
    Into the fires of hell if it should ease the burning
    but please don't loose your trust
    the man i know is brave so don't you dare say you're folding
    I can be your crutch
    until we both grow old and the curtains closing
    Maybe if I move
    maybe my troubles wont follow me
    my love I give to you
    every single inch of my soul while it bleeds
    baby im confused
    but i know in your arms i find relief
    Baby if I loose my mind
    would you stay with me?

  • @sircoynie
    @sircoynie Před rokem +1187

    Another week, another me obsessing over a different Ren song. This man’s body of work is giving like no other that I have found in at least the last 10 years. You special special man, please keep blessing us with your art.

    • @themetalheadhippi
      @themetalheadhippi Před rokem +23

      100% agreed

    • @SplashOfGreen
      @SplashOfGreen Před rokem +17

      Yeah Where the hell did this come from?! 😮

    • @themetalheadhippi
      @themetalheadhippi Před rokem +24

      Splash of green. Wherever it is, im so fucking happy about it. Ren is a blessing to the 🌎

    • @PO-tc1fw
      @PO-tc1fw Před rokem +6

      you nailed it

    • @SplashOfGreen
      @SplashOfGreen Před rokem +15

      @@themetalheadhippi seriously! He improves my day to day.. no joke. Just by listening to his music and marveling in his artistic mind!

  • @hollinkarelja7564
    @hollinkarelja7564 Před 10 měsíci +79

    this is one of the most unseen ren songs. It did not show up as recommended for a long while. But its maybe one of his absolute best. Just perfectly stunning. Like all of his songs, it leaves you in awe of the feelings it invokes.

  • @strive4impact
    @strive4impact Před 2 měsíci +8

    That moment when the crutch is just gone... wow.
    That's the raw realness of what we're asked to face in this life.

  • @jmblp119
    @jmblp119 Před rokem +29

    “Suicide” bought me here. After 4 months of diving headfirst into the Reniverse.. 79 tracks on my Spotify playlist, love YTing busking and reaction vids, and watch his interviews.. tonight I’ve been moved in a new way.. again. In a week, it’s really bought something. Synchronicity is so real. I spent my birthday alone yesterday. I haven’t felt darkness like this week in a while. And the last few hours has shifted my focus. Or to paraphrase “Hi Ren”.. I can feel the pendulum is swinging back to the light, because of what Ren has given. The dance is easier. I don’t quite know why or how, but Ren lifts me, and speaks to me, like nothing I’ve known.
    Ren, as someone with a pretty large musical variety soundtrack of life.. you cover all bases, you are a creative genius like no other, your talent in every possible area, unmatched, and I honestly believe the way you can cut through the fog and get real with people, there’s never been anything like it. And it’s not just the music/storytelling/videography I’m mad blown away by. With great talent, comes great power, comes great responsibility.. and I have every faith and confidence that you Sir are a gem for our time. Here for your moment, at a moment in the worlds history, and I really think it needs you. Thank you for what you do, what you put into it, and I know you have a team/friends around supporting and working with you, so thank you to them as well. You are all doing something quite magical. I genuinely believe we are witnessing a “never before/never again” artist making his way to infamy and I’m so gassed to be here for the ride.
    All power to ya Ren 👊🏼

  • @ricktorzynski1794
    @ricktorzynski1794 Před měsícem +7

    How did I miss this song?!?!? Clearly shows Ren's early genius period.

  • @katrinakent1684
    @katrinakent1684 Před rokem +253

    Man, I swear I fall in love with Ren a little more with every video I watch.

  • @celardoorhorse
    @celardoorhorse Před 3 měsíci +13

    7 years this has been up and this guy's brilliance has still not hit the mainstream, Anyone would think the industry had its own agenda. there loss

  • @bl00d_hound
    @bl00d_hound Před rokem +178

    I can't for the life of me understand why he isn't the biggest artist on earth . Ren is a musical & lyrical genius and a gift to us all.

    • @annmonica2253
      @annmonica2253 Před rokem +2

      Singers who can't tour or do appearances don't earn enough money for the music industry money grabbers. He was signed by Sony but they let him go years ago.

    • @RLD983
      @RLD983 Před 11 měsíci +10

      It's not about the riches or being known to the world. He's feeding us mentally messed up souls, music and stories that connect with our hearts. He's reaching the ones that needs to hear his music. We are all mentally messed up in some way. I hope you find joy today

    • @mandyshaila1
      @mandyshaila1 Před 11 měsíci

      Agreed. ❤

    • @Del3691
      @Del3691 Před 10 měsíci +3

      He is, in my head at least, and I'm pretty damn sure I'm not the only one thinking that way.

    • @Atilakus
      @Atilakus Před 10 měsíci +2

      He will be!

  • @janegill-pl5kz
    @janegill-pl5kz Před rokem +97

    I'm a 50 year old woman. I stopped listening to the radio a few years ago. Apart from an odd song that's catchy or a rare gem that crops up from time to time. I havn't really engaged in modern music. Thought I was just getting old, especially what I hear my own parents when I say 'music these days is rubbish' 😅
    I don't even remember how I came across Ren. But it was only 2 weeks ago. Since then everything has changed. I've been so deep in the rabbit hole and still finding new gems every day. I'm listening to Ren and only Ren right now. There's not one track that I have found that hasn't blown me away. Not a single filler or 'meh' tune that I want to skip through. I find a new favourite everyday and then when I go back to ' Hi Ren' or chalk outlines or what you want, the hunger, love music 1 2 and 3 etc etc etc....I could list them all. I'm in awe all over again.
    I only discovered this one today and I'm listening to it with tears in my eyes.
    The emotion, message, passion and talent just blew me away. I've been 'numb' for so long and this... as well as the rest of his music has made me feel deep powerful emotions that I thought I couldn't feel anymore.
    Music has changed for me and Ren is just the most powerful and important musician, not only in a generation but in many generations.
    I can't put into words how I feel or how he has managed to make me fall in love with music again.

    • @ECCENTRICERIC69
      @ECCENTRICERIC69 Před rokem +16

      Beautiful words Jane,
      So many new Ren fans share the same sentiments!

    • @janettahiri1160
      @janettahiri1160 Před rokem +17

      Similar. I'm 53 and recently separated after 20 years. I need music to keep my feet on the ground through this, but every thing else just seemed like jelly with no substance. Ren and also Chinchilla have completely dominated my playlist ever since hearing Hi Ren. It astounds me that this guys music appeals so much to all the generations. Sign of a great artist.

    • @ewganhoff
      @ewganhoff Před rokem +5

      Love your comment❤❤❤

    • @dryroastedpnutta6253
      @dryroastedpnutta6253 Před rokem +1

      💯💯👏👏👏❤❤❤❤❤

    • @puppenbuhnebauchkribbeln1183
      @puppenbuhnebauchkribbeln1183 Před rokem +1

      👌🏼

  • @The11susan11
    @The11susan11 Před rokem +284

    6 yrs ago? I just fell in 3 months ago. A lyrical genious, guitarist, innovator, genre breaking, musicality beyond comprehension, story teller, actor, AND MAJORITY OF HIS VIDEOS ARE LIVE WOW... Sighs... REN YOU ROCK ON ALL LEVELS

    • @steffenlee3768
      @steffenlee3768 Před rokem +13

      I didn't know his videos are live! That's fucking amazing that he can create such beautiful art all in one take. Everything he does is such a masterpiece, from his music, to his vocals, and especially to his videos. There's just an element he uses to tie all three together so beautifully... And am I the only one that thinks Ren is kinda hot? I can't be.

    • @leeloulg1883
      @leeloulg1883 Před rokem +3

      ​@@steffenlee3768 non, tu n'es pas le seul,😊
      Ren est effectivement "très" sexy 😁😊

    • @newspapertaxis1
      @newspapertaxis1 Před rokem +3

      Yea..I fell in about 2 months ago......Can't believe I missed this guy!!!
      They don't come around like this often! Off the hook!! I'm amazed at his talent!!!
      Glad I got on board!!!!

    • @PainReigns125
      @PainReigns125 Před rokem +2

      11 years ago. I fell in several months ago. Gonna listen to his yt in order amd get to hunting. He is a special type of artist. The kind where the easel and the canvas are part of the art.

    • @anonglakmoonwicha2726
      @anonglakmoonwicha2726 Před rokem +5

      Today's Sunday... I heard him for the first time on Wednesday... my lip has done a lot of wobbling in 5 days.

  • @user-mu2bj7cf8h
    @user-mu2bj7cf8h Před rokem +276

    Ren is a soldier I’ll respect to the end of existence. Keep dancing my brother.

  • @amymbeauty8765
    @amymbeauty8765 Před rokem +319

    Holy shit Ren. Everytime I jump into another one of your songs for the first time, I think I'm fully prepared for what you'll deliver straight into my very essence, and every time, I'm actually not prepared at all! This one was a gut puch in the best of ways. Absolutely beautiful Ren. Thank you for laying yourself bare and creating these masterpieces that connect us all on such a raw, human level.

    • @nualakay4420
      @nualakay4420 Před rokem +4

      Truth 😮

    • @rockynason6500
      @rockynason6500 Před rokem +2

      Amazing

    • @Lynnie_14
      @Lynnie_14 Před rokem +8

      I can't stop watching it - it's incredible- as an ex dancer I can see a contemporary stage performance. POV - Someone should be developing a RENaissance theatrical stage performance. I'd sit glued to that! ❤❤❤

    • @christyheffernan1248
      @christyheffernan1248 Před 6 měsíci +1

      The rabbit hole is so very deep.

  • @bobbycollins6783
    @bobbycollins6783 Před rokem +35

    F**k me this is so powerful. 6 years ago. another Ren gem I've only just seen.
    He really is in his a league of his own.

  • @sorashell
    @sorashell Před rokem +65

    I've been married to the most wonderful man in the world for 23 years. He suffers from anxiety, depression and a variety of physical ailments.
    This song hit hard for me, Ren. Thank you for giving a voice for so many people. It's appreciated, and you are jaw droppingly talented.
    Many blessings to you and yours. ❤

  • @aguywithparkinsonsplays6397

    I am 41 years old, with Parkinson’s disease and just separated from the woman I thought would put me in the ground… this song sums up my feelings perfectly…

    • @Lynnie_14
      @Lynnie_14 Před rokem +6

      Another one that hits home for me is Penitence Ft Molly McKinna 💔 beautiful but sad 😢

    • @sandradownie6029
      @sandradownie6029 Před rokem +7

      I'm truly sorry 😞

    • @lk2275
      @lk2275 Před rokem +6

      I can relate. I am so sorry.

    • @strive4impact
      @strive4impact Před 2 měsíci

      Sending so much love your way. 44 here with a pituitary tumor in a state of active treatment. Fortunately, not cancer. I'm just sending so much ❤ your way for comfort and the patience life is asking of you.

    • @strive4impact
      @strive4impact Před 2 měsíci

      Patience, by Ren, is a good one, if you haven't heard it. Had it on repeat yesterday for quite a while.

  • @georginaeden9685
    @georginaeden9685 Před rokem +197

    One of Ren's most underrated songs for sure....should have so many more views 🥺

    • @susiejo143
      @susiejo143 Před rokem +8

      Ikr I was stunned!

    • @davidjarvie9546
      @davidjarvie9546 Před rokem +5

      It will reach many now.great song and maybe he should do a remix an update for todays listener. 🇬🇧👍

    • @jonasmandersson
      @jonasmandersson Před rokem +9

      It soon will.

    • @OneLove101.
      @OneLove101. Před rokem +7

      He will be seen now. He was merely an undiscovered talent by many. Now he will finally gain the recognition and admiration he deserves ♥️🙌🏼

    • @rockynason6500
      @rockynason6500 Před rokem +1

      Absolutely Amazing 🇺🇸

  • @aranstuparyk1559
    @aranstuparyk1559 Před rokem +122

    Dammit, Ren. I am never quite prepared for my first viewing of your work. Please don't stop challenging us.

  • @clairme_5865
    @clairme_5865 Před rokem +64

    Oh damn it, I thought by now I'd seen all of the Ren songs that were going to make me cry.

  • @georginaeden9685
    @georginaeden9685 Před rokem +66

    I forgot to breathe during that......lost for words....just beautiful.

    • @heather1667
      @heather1667 Před rokem

      ME ALSO took my breath away i gasp

  • @dosdan
    @dosdan Před 2 měsíci +5

    Concerning the "empty hands" at the end: this is an indication that the pressure of his debilitating illness split the relationship apart. But an alternate interpretation, not supported by Ren''s song description, but this is a work of Art so the receiver can respond differently to the creator's original intention, is that the hands are empty because the "crutch" was never there. The sufferer is facing this ordeal all alone. The crutch is the product of his tormented mind imagining a comforter. At the end of song his hands drop when he realises his crutch is not real.

  • @itsniknut333
    @itsniknut333 Před rokem +254

    Dude. Everything you do is a f*cking masterpiece and that's not exaggerating

  • @TrainwreckBxl
    @TrainwreckBxl Před měsícem +7

    wow, that one hit home.

  • @wellnessbeatsreacts
    @wellnessbeatsreacts Před 4 měsíci +6

    Oh fuck, I wasn't ready for that. That was so beautiful, but I'm constantly in awe of this man that can do what he does every day. I can't imagine the extreme pain and also trying to get your art out to everyone that will listen at the same time. I don't know how he does all this, but it's incredible. 🖤

  • @AzBabyGirl
    @AzBabyGirl Před rokem +98

    My good god. That really was art. So brutally raw and personal, that it’s almost uncomfortable to watch but also beautiful. So much talent, but so much pain for a man who was just a boy when your trials started. If you ever release a book of your story, I’d snatch it off the shelves just to know how your thoughts work.

    • @heather1667
      @heather1667 Před rokem +1

      a journal is good for your soul Run and it helps keep up with your health for notes if needed later

  • @Tibbles777
    @Tibbles777 Před 2 měsíci +6

    It is sad that Ren and Bibi broke up, can feel the pain they went through in this song

  • @83_is_the_magic_number...

    As a fifties baby, I have lived through rock'n'roll, prog, glam rock, punk, modern romance, mind numbing pop and more.
    Ren's ability to write and perform at such pace is awesome.
    A big fan of watching the fun busking of the Big Push and the way that they have built up such a local fanbase.
    Their sell out gigs in Brighton are a sign of how much they are appreciated.
    Ren... thank you for 'Hi Ren' and the masive portfolio of socio-punk and deep psycho strained music.
    Lovin' it.

  • @geminimoon6221
    @geminimoon6221 Před 5 měsíci +5

    No one like REN for the artistry, emotion and musical genius. He always leaves me wanting more!

  • @SabahsPsalm777
    @SabahsPsalm777 Před rokem +5

    I just discovered u yesterday and was blown away. then learned of your health struggles and was amazed. i also have lyme, chronic pain. bit by a tick 22 years ago 8 months pregnant. ignorant, didn't know to be concerned. a year or so later i began the spiral. was coming to terms with deep trauma. sexual, emotional and spiritual. so thought it was that. long story short married and 6 kids later my many issues and there impact on my life have damaged my relationship with my husband to no end. he's sooooooooo angry (understandably) why god gave him this beautiful wife who hasn't really been able to fully be a wife for 20 years. my kids say (younger ones) why are you so tired. why don't we do more stuff. why can't you push me on the swing longer. honestly i push through more than i give myself credit for. my eldest daughter is my champion but she has had to grow up and have a lot of responsibility because of my challenges. not preaching but Christ, sobriety, psychotherapy/emdr and strict diet/herbs keep me going but not healed and i cry out wtf!!!!!!! i do everything i'm supposed to or can afford but i'm still just getting by and if i don't keep everything in a state of balance i flare and spiral to such an intensity it doesn't seem real. your music has touched me (and everyone else) in such a deep way. i'm crying straight 4 2 days. reminding me how i NEED art, it's a necessity . i can relate to your struggle and expression, especially as someone who shares having an invisible illness. even my family struggles because i look great. im almost 50 but look in my 30's, all my kids friends think i'm so dope and a cool mom but i feel like shit everyday for years. if i eat little, very clean and low carb i can manage most days to function but still hurt just not as bad. my eldest recently suffered a mental health breakdown and this spiralled me into a dark place of guilt, shame and blame. fell into alcohol and weed to take the edge off. so u my friend are being used by the Most High to bring light and hope to this lady from east coast usa and a a fallen world. G-d bless

  • @ChrisLawton66
    @ChrisLawton66 Před rokem +47

    The courage this man has to show himself so intimately on both the outside and in. Stunning.

  • @Bones2764
    @Bones2764 Před rokem +36

    PROTECT REN AT ALL COSTS! Genius like Ren must be preserved and shared with the world.

  • @samirawyrd4796
    @samirawyrd4796 Před rokem +27

    I've discovered Ren 4 days ago... 1st i've listened to just the one song, thinking that if i listened another, he would loose his magic for me, it happens sometimes... then I clicked another, had that on repeat for a while, because I was convinced it was my new favourite song, feeling courageous now, I clicked this one.
    Only heard it once so far and even if it close to midnight, I will hear it a few times more.

  • @memremacm
    @memremacm Před rokem +40

    Ren, a 62 yr old gran in the US just discovered you like most of us with Hi Ren. I’ve loved all that I have seen and wish for you health and healing during this difficult time. It looks like you are moving in the right direction now and the possibilities for you are endless. You are so much more than a guy with a guitar. You are a man with a message. ❤️🙏🏻❤️

  • @judibecker7833
    @judibecker7833 Před měsícem +6

    Ren, your talent speaks for itself. I absolutely love the raw honesty in your music. You put it all out there, giving people who are having the same experiences a way to express what they are going through. I am a huge fan and am praying for healing of your mind, body, and spirit. Being misdiagnosed is trauma. Thank you for sharing your journey in the most spectacularly vulnerable and creative way.

  • @Just-Schizo
    @Just-Schizo Před 4 měsíci +4

    I'm schizophrenic, so I episodically lose my mind. And over time I've gotten sicker and sicker. The fear of losing your mind and not finding your way back is intense. So this really spoke to me.
    As it is now I never really come out of it. But I still have waves of it being worse than normal. The need for no one to see you lose your mind and the desperation really comes through in this. It's so accurate. Thank you for making art about things no one wants to talk about. (and not just this either. Look at Violets tale for example.)

  • @Lynnie_14
    @Lynnie_14 Před rokem +33

    I'm binge watching Ren's videos - again! Pretty sure I'm addicted at this point. Ren's music has permanent occupancy in my mind from the minute I wake up till I force myself to sleep. Guys! I've started rapping bars at the supermarket and im 58!! 😅 I love The Hunger, Genesis, Illest of our Time, Sick Boi......
    Another beautiful one I'm loving is Penitence ft Molly McKinna ♥️

    • @nidaladil4150
      @nidaladil4150 Před rokem +2

      Same here ✋😅

    • @heather1667
      @heather1667 Před rokem +2

      glad im not alone ,,, its a wonderful feeling isn't it ,, its called LOVE HOPE FREEDOM RELIEF

    • @lea88pu
      @lea88pu Před rokem +1

      😄 So cute ❤

  • @danoodle72fly
    @danoodle72fly Před 7 měsíci +6

    Just another day with The Maestro

  • @nataliehughes6818
    @nataliehughes6818 Před rokem +60

    All the Ren songs that i've loved diving into, clicking that watch button with glee but with this one i felt some apprehension. Now i think i understand why. I felt this in my soul. Just beautiful, everything about it.
    We see you Ren. In loosing it you said "i'm the one to make the world look" (or something like that)...finally the world is seeing you and you are a gift that we didn't know we needed. Thank you doesn't come close.
    Now the wait for the reactors to discover "Crutch". This should be everywhere.

    • @andyhollister4610
      @andyhollister4610 Před rokem +2

      Wasn't sure how to word my comment but you nailed it for me

  • @ammogan
    @ammogan Před rokem +48

    God dammit Ren! How did you get in my subconscious and articulate that which I have been unable for so many years!? Every track of yours is a therapy session for me. Im realizing more and more about myself from you- a stranger from across the world. Thank you. Thank you. Think you!

  • @iarumasxx
    @iarumasxx Před rokem +41

    He's touching people with his music on so many levels; I can't keep up, but I know I have to have more. Listening to his music is like therapy for me: triggering, reassuring, explaining, reassuring and healing. This generation more than any other needs this music.

  • @dreamingscarlettm5415
    @dreamingscarlettm5415 Před rokem +39

    This musicvideo deserves an award. The cinematography is stunning, the music is raw and beautiful.
    Thanks for creating Ren. Your art has an impact on so many lifes, it's crazy

  • @dawnpatterson8708
    @dawnpatterson8708 Před rokem +42

    Ok, uh... The first time that I saw this. It SERIOUSLY broke my heart.
    This is one incredible depiction of pain and fear.
    At the same time, it shows SO much strength and self sacrifice.
    In the midst of this torturous and horrible time.
    You were willing to continue to ENDURE it.
    But, not for yourself.
    For another.
    Bibi, oh my LORD.
    What a VOICE. Absolutely the voice of an angel.
    Sent to earth, for the SPECIFIC purpose of support.
    But, mostly to be the ONE he would endeavor to make it through this for.
    When, he himself had lost ALL hope that there would EVER be an end.
    Then to have you vanish.....
    Leaves us to wonder if you were all just an illusion.
    Or, EXACTLY what I had said.
    The ANGEL sent. Just so, this tortured young man COULD endure to persevere.
    I read your quote about, showing the things that you felt UGLY about and changing into something BEAUTIFUL.
    THAT you did, sir.
    It was one of the most excruciatingly beautiful things I have EVER seen.
    To see you so Ill and weak, was bad enough.
    The gutt punch, for me.
    Was to see YOU cry. OH MY GOD, every single part of my being ACHED. Because, I couldn't STOP it.
    I am SO thankful, you were born with what seems to be an ENDLESS well of creativity.
    Along with, the mad INTELLIGENCE to be able to EXPRESS it.
    If not for that combination of gifts.
    You might have been lost.
    THAT would have been a TRAVESTY.
    One larger than I can even come close to being able to explain.
    Like I said, this thing of beauty breaks my heart.
    But, I sit here. Ever so willingly eager for YOU to do it again.
    I think maybe, TRUE art does that.
    As my soul aches for that tortured young man.
    I politely say, thank you sir. May I have another, please.

    • @heather1667
      @heather1667 Před rokem +3

      thank you for the deep statement , very beautiful

    • @16bgurreri
      @16bgurreri Před rokem +3

      Brilliantly articulated, frend

  • @chrisseiler42
    @chrisseiler42 Před rokem +25

    Although Hi Ren is what first inspired me and gave me hope with my rehabilitation, this song has me thinking about my partner who has been dealing with chronic pain for almost 15 years now. We both have autoimmune issues. At 62 years we are in this together but I feel for him. I feel for you Ren. Thank you for this song. Thank you for all your music. ❤❤❤

  • @RaineSophiaLewis
    @RaineSophiaLewis Před 6 měsíci +6

    Damn! How did this not show up in recommended before? I f*cking love this and see parts of myself within this. ❤

  • @user-ts8df3zz9b
    @user-ts8df3zz9b Před 25 dny +4

    My god Ren, everything you've done in your music mimics my girlfriend and I .
    Accept she's the one suffering the plight of the medical system.
    It's like looking into a a mirror.
    Knowing that we are not alone is a massive comfort to us both.
    All we can say is thankyou.
    Words alone cannot describe what we're all going through.
    Your music, your insight says so much that many others would not understand.
    Each night we sync our head phones hold hands ,kiss ,smile,cry and connect with your music.
    The raw truth in your music,is a lifeline for us both.
    We are now in the third year of our search.
    Thankyou from Tess and Ben to you REN❤

  • @badadviceforfree
    @badadviceforfree Před rokem +25

    God this is beautiful. One of the hardest parts for me of falling apart, was watching people I loved slowly lose all respect for me.

  • @joestrat2723
    @joestrat2723 Před rokem +18

    I don't think I've ever seen an artist paint with a larger pallet of colours. Every song so different than the last, but mesmerizing in its own right. Brilliant stuff Ren.

  • @stephenhadik9752
    @stephenhadik9752 Před rokem +71

    You are a voice for all the chronic sufferers, your talent is next level brilliant. Huge respect for exposing your pain, I look forward to seeing the rest of your work!!

    • @OneLove101.
      @OneLove101. Před rokem +3

      I think that’s it, Stephen. So many of us can empathise, so many of us hidden in the shadows. So when we hear his music, it’s almost as if he’s speaking for us all. Pure *poetry in motion*

  • @nelcindasousa807
    @nelcindasousa807 Před rokem +5

    Wowwww...... While my soul gently weeps...... 😪 .... 👌🏾🙏🏾. At this point I just want to hug you....😪.

  • @jensterooniam
    @jensterooniam Před rokem +14

    Ren, I want to thank you for sharing this song...this part of you. I never thought I would ever come across someone who would speak to this experience so accurately...and so beautifully to the pain, let alone, to the experience at all.
    A little over a decade ago I had a psychotic breakdown, and among the many pieces of my life that proceeded to disappear, I watched helplessly as my marriage disintegrated before my eyes. And not longer after, I too disintegrated much further into darkness. I did eventually come out the other side - a phoenix rising from the flames - to fight for my life, my soul, and to rediscover who I was, but it was a very long and painful journey getting there.
    Years later I was able to see how necessary it all was to my journey, because I had so much healing work to do, that could not have happened with my partner. Struggling to face my past and work through it, was not something I could have done with him...and maybe not anyone else either. I'll never know. As grateful as I am for where it led me as a person and in life generally, the depth of sadness and pain...the degradation and humiliation...and the degree of self-hatred and internalized stigma, are experiences and feelings that I will never forget.
    The stigma around any illness with the prefix, "schizo" is massive, and psychosis is not something people generally want to talk about. The media has always done a fabulous job of demonizing, and creating monsters of people who suffer and struggle with this experience. And sure as hell, does not help in the process of seeking help or accessing resources to aid in healing and possible recover. I was lucky...so so blessed to recover fully. But many are not.
    I thank you from the bottom and breadth of my heart, for speaking to this pain that all to often, silenced or snuffed out completely. Thank you for speaking for the many who are silenced, and long to be heard.
    Sending you a whole lotta love.

  • @brigittebisier495
    @brigittebisier495 Před 2 měsíci +5

    This is like myself and my husband. Autoimmune illness is no joke and I am so greatful my "crutch" chose to marry me instead of leave

  • @robasiansensation3118
    @robasiansensation3118 Před rokem +16

    Came for Hi Ren. Staying for all of it. Dude. I'm 56 yr old new fan. You are a stand out. Keep your authenticity, and you will never really fail. Don't sign with no label. Don't compromise any of it. Stay raw and real. Without darkness we cannot truly know the Light that is in all of us.

  • @missicarter267
    @missicarter267 Před rokem +64

    This song is the real outcome of when your struggling and literally fighting for your life day in and day out from your own two hands and mind and you see all these people saying "if you ever feel this way reach out to someone" and although it's very thoughtful of it we're that easy there would not be so many of us struggling. People say they won't judge or will be there but don't realize how dark it can be and they all leave. This is every damn feeling I've experienced during a suicidal psychosis when I've reached out and nobody answered but me. Witnessing my brothers suicide and having Ehlers Danlos syndrome causes these episodes and the only thing I find to help me get out of that dark place is music. Thank you for showing me I'm truly not alone. I'm praying for you and healing. LOVE-N-LIGHT 💕

    • @Veeliscious
      @Veeliscious Před rokem +5

      Bless you . This song and the video had my really crying. I'm sorry you've been through similar pain and hope life gets better for you like it is for Ren ❤️‍🩹

    • @gabbiebarnard7580
      @gabbiebarnard7580 Před rokem

      Ehler Danlos sucks!

    • @thothtahuti5509
      @thothtahuti5509 Před rokem +4

      Me too friend, music is the rope that holds me here. We are everywhere.

    • @crystalgarrett2448
      @crystalgarrett2448 Před rokem +3

      I also have EDS. I'm sure this disorder causes us to perceive life completely differently than the majority of society. I too have been in these dark places. This song is beautiful. I wish you the best and there really is light at the end of the tunnel. Don't let these dark moments suck you in too far. If anyone reading this ever has suicidal thoughts, I would always just "wait" them out. It is only one frame of mind and Life is good. Bless you

  • @MichellEllis
    @MichellEllis Před rokem +6

    As someone whose years of pain and insomnia have recently manifested into bouts of psychosis, this hits hard.
    My husband, my care giver, has recently suffered a stress induced heart attack and I'm blaming myself.
    The NHS has been starved and most of the mental health resources are gone.
    The chronic pain patients over here live like ghosts. Apart from hospital appointments and the monthly mandated visits to the DWP to prove that I'm still sick and disabled and there is still no cure, I don't leave the house.
    I sometimes, in my darkest hours, think that there is a shadowy genocide going on with the disabled and chronically Ill community.
    The Tories basically admitted it when they bragged the "Cruelty is the Point".
    Thanks for speaking for us Ren.

    • @seane8ifyify
      @seane8ifyify Před rokem +1

      I am 51. I have been a musician since I was 16 and Ren you have more raw talent than anyone I've ever seen! I find your work so moving every time. My wife suffers with M.E. so I do understand your pain and frustration more than some. The fight for your right to show your brilliance must be so hard. I hope with your help that people try harder to find a cure and life would stop being so cruel. Keep going mate ❤️

  • @donaldjohn123
    @donaldjohn123 Před rokem +6

    Ren popped into my existence a month ago.
    Where have you been.

  • @Rushyyz3
    @Rushyyz3 Před rokem +37

    I started the Ren rabbit hole a few weeks ago, what a great talent. Is there anything this young man can’t do?

  • @shhmaya
    @shhmaya Před 8 měsíci +5

    Holy crap. The difference. So different!!!! Sounds like different motivations but the same seed of creativity and talent. Not my favorite sounding song, though beautiful lyrics, but still a good song and a great one compared to many mainstream shit. And it's been 7 fehking years, of course you'd change and mature and that would translate to your music, duh. It's funny, doesn't sound like a Ren song, but... it does. Who knows. Anyway, I thought Bibi was BIBI, a korean singer and my future wife (in another reality). I don't know her, but what a fantastic voice!!!!! And matched with yours in such a delightfully sounding way ❤ beautiful video. I'm not crying, you are!

  • @mrfabulocity
    @mrfabulocity Před 10 měsíci +8

    One of my favorite songs by Ren. I'm in my 60's and Ren always makes me tear up. If you've ever had a nervous breakdown you understand this song. Bless you, Ren.

  • @Magick73
    @Magick73 Před rokem +12

    This song is like if you combined Damien Rice with Bush and turned it up to 10. So damn powerful and moving!

  • @Dragonartykay
    @Dragonartykay Před 11 měsíci +19

    Discovered Ren in December, almost every conversation I have some how comes round to mention, REN in some way, I can’t stop watching and listening to his music, I am 52, I just hope he keeps blowing up and getting bigger and bigger, he deserves it, and quite frankly so do we all. We deserve better that what we have been getting, it all seems hollow, and pointless now.

    • @C4.Cooper
      @C4.Cooper Před 11 měsíci +1

      I find myself doing the same...just a conversation, that includes the one question, "Have you heard of Ren?" ❤

    • @christelsegbars1630
      @christelsegbars1630 Před 10 měsíci

      Me too. Even docters I meantion him, when I again get another medication, oh yeah in case this gives you these sideaffects you can use this.... Dear Ren you speak the truth in so many things... thank you for beiing you

    • @Bhodisatvas
      @Bhodisatvas Před 9 měsíci +1

      I've been listening daily to his stuff for months, I'm like a junkie 😆

    • @Dragonartykay
      @Dragonartykay Před 9 měsíci

      @@Bhodisatvas me too. Whatever I can get my ears and eyes on. Downloaded everything from Spotify. Watched every reaction. He is just so different but yet so familiar. 😘😘😘😘

  • @jerryvisco83
    @jerryvisco83 Před rokem +13

    How in the hell have I not heard this for how many years .???
    Outfreakinstanding..

  • @pdfp24
    @pdfp24 Před rokem +18

    Found this at just the right time. I’m having such a shit night and can feel myself slipping back down into the dark hole of depression.

  • @Tessimistic420
    @Tessimistic420 Před rokem +18

    "I am lost
    I went to go find myself
    If I return
    Before I get back
    Please tell me to wait"
    ❤️Note on my front door. #ren

  • @omerabdullah1270
    @omerabdullah1270 Před rokem +34

    It's been ren-week.. Actually last 6 weeks were 'him' .. his songs.. reactions.. documentaries.. vlogs.. etc.. Damn! I cant listen to anything/anyone else..
    Wtf ya've done to us all mate??
    ❤❤❤❤❤ God bless ya.. GWS!!!

  • @austinterry28
    @austinterry28 Před rokem +12

    Hits home so heartbreaking…..
    So is life.
    Some people are too much for others, the fear is always real.

  • @stephanieschleter6054
    @stephanieschleter6054 Před rokem +7

    I’m sure wherever you are, sleeping or awake, good day or bad, somewhere in the corners of your mind I bet you are still trying to carry the burden of “making it” in the music industry, or having your artistry validated, or “beating” these illnesses that plague you, or receiving the accolades that you truly deserve-all of this-YOUR JOURNEY, your talent, your bravery, your humble nature, YOUR JOURNEY is why so many people are touched by you! That journey- the one that you share so transparently, IS THE SUCCESS! You have already “made it” my friend! Try to remember to ENJOY THAT each day! Because the struggle will ALWAYS be there. It will never LEAVE… it just changes shape and keeps coming at you.
    Idk if you will ever see this… just hope so- I just thought you needed to hear this today.

  • @jeremyrhoades2535
    @jeremyrhoades2535 Před rokem +131

    I’ve just found you a week ago. It’s 2023 started with Hi Ren. I have seen that song a couple time is it in? I just didn’t listen I’m always resistant to trying new artists and I don’t know why. I have consumed everything of yours that I can find and you are my hero. Look, I’m a big NF fan like huge. I think Hi Ren was better than intro three. You are my new favorite artist please I need more. You are amazing dude I have no more words. You’re so unique and brilliant and you break my heart and you make me laugh and think… just wow. 👏

    • @grinus8329
      @grinus8329 Před rokem +9

      Deyum, I'm also an NF fan
      I don't wanna shade our NF but sheesh Hi Ren is indeed better than introIII

    • @frankhalfar6808
      @frankhalfar6808 Před rokem +6

      i have been sleeping waking up to this ......i won't sleep no more
      what talent

    • @shanebruce3997
      @shanebruce3997 Před rokem +9

      Ren has made me realize there is no more time to not tell the truth...

    • @reneelwalden
      @reneelwalden Před rokem +9

      I feel the exact same way. I only discovered him a few weeks ago. My new favourite artist, I love every song he has sung. How lucky to discover such an amazing talent

    • @shanebruce3997
      @shanebruce3997 Před rokem +6

      @@reneelwalden my new fave artist as well - so grateful to have found him...

  • @philfranklin8378
    @philfranklin8378 Před rokem +11

    Well you made me weep. A grown 43 year old man crying like a baby. Reminding me of the only ex I ever truly loved and a night with us both in the clutches of heroin addiction...holding each other her asking why I can't love her and me pleading with her to trust that I did. She left me abruptly two years later with no explanation and it destroyed me. I hope she is off the shit and happy

  • @donnasmall6032
    @donnasmall6032 Před rokem +4

    Im almost 62 yrs old ..There hasn't been an artist in yrs who I've wanted to listen to more than one time until Ren. His music is palatable...feeling it in every cell of my body ..Please ..don't stop Ren. .It's me again ..D from Indy ❤️

  • @jaeljade3609
    @jaeljade3609 Před rokem +3

    almost sounded a little prince like at the end. Reminds me of my husband and I on this wellness journey. He's my rock. Only wants to love and support me and would do anything just to see me better. He's an angel if I ever saw one. Rob Thomas's wife, Marisol, deals with Lyme's too. I love how he supports her. The song "Her diamonds" was about her struggles.

  • @D3ADPO3TRY
    @D3ADPO3TRY Před rokem +8

    i'm 46 and married, and this music is where I am from... not a bleak hood, but a melancholic life numbing mind that I keep hidden from the wife. Depression and Anger are my welterweight titles, and I'm about out. Ren Gill is my midnight coach and the counselor hath bespoke..

  • @robs2460
    @robs2460 Před rokem +5

    The fact that this has been sitting here for 6 years and I'm just now hearing it really pisses me off.

  • @HollyB5484
    @HollyB5484 Před 11 měsíci +9

    Wow did this one hit home for me. I have schizophrenia and met a guy at a time when my meds were working and I seemed "normal" although I had just gotten out of the hospital recovering from 1 1/2 years of being driven mad by constantly hearing voices and having extreme nerve pain all over my body. It's a long story but ya..fuck our health care system. Anyway, I had some PTSD from that and some depression issues and was upfront about my schizophrenia when we got together. I tried to put into words a few times to him the absolute hell I had been in but unless you've been there, there is no way you can fully understand. 4 years into our relationship symptoms started manifesting again. He totally blew off my fears and pain acting like he thought I was exaggerating or faking it and giving me that judging look people give me when they're going to write me off as just crazy. No compassion or empathy at all. He'd leave me for hours, sometimes days stuck in my own hell and terrified. All I needed and wanted most of the time was for him to hold me and tell me it would be ok and the voices were lying. My doctor upped my meds and the symptoms faded and I broke up with him and now am dealing with yhe realization that I'll probably be alone with this forever and the depression that came along with that realization. Ren has literally been saving my life lately. Thank you.

    • @metalmark8
      @metalmark8 Před měsícem +2

      We hear you!!! We are here for you in any way we can be.. Respect for speaking your truth. Your brain produces more DMT then us normal folk so you are hearing/seeing and feeling things that we don't normally. It's perfectly fine, and you have nothing to worry about ok. Please ask if you need more info x
      It's all in the mind - George Harrison

    • @Richoman78
      @Richoman78 Před 28 dny +1

      Keep searching for your crutch. You are brave and deserve to be held and loved.

    • @HollyB5484
      @HollyB5484 Před 21 dnem

      @@Richoman78 Thank you!!❤️

    • @HollyB5484
      @HollyB5484 Před 21 dnem +1

      @@metalmark8 Is there a way to normalize my brain's DMT production? Like a supplement or meditation or something?

    • @metalmark8
      @metalmark8 Před 21 dnem

      @@HollyB5484 you can certainly try meditation. I've got a friend with schizophrenia who wanted to try DMT and when I looked into it, it didn't look like it was a good thing to do. But..... What if it is? What if you try this, get a bigger release than you are used to and it resets your brain? It's what happens to drug addicts even they try it usually. Or people with any kind of trauma. You should definitely be looking into this now you have heard.

  • @sheilamoses8689
    @sheilamoses8689 Před rokem +12

    I cried out for help. This is how I received it. Tell me how to save my son from the torturous voices screaming in his head, telling him his son is dead.

  • @annanelahie4782
    @annanelahie4782 Před 10 měsíci +5

    Nothing I can find that is remotely mediocre.
    This ‘Renegade ‘thinks he is a Musical mastermind.❤ Everything is amazing.

  • @laurafromliverpool
    @laurafromliverpool Před rokem +7

    Every time i click on a song for the first time i have to make sure I'm in the right mind space to hear it.
    Listening to Ren is like standing on the edge of a cliff. You've got to make sure you are tied on to something before you put your toes over.

  • @alabamadom7430
    @alabamadom7430 Před rokem +5

    I just found ren recently and it's been a privilege finding his music..som people find god and some find music...

  • @SteveCookakamoshboy
    @SteveCookakamoshboy Před rokem +24

    this song is beautiful and deserves more recognition then it gets compared to his more recent popular output. it's a shame there aren't more reaction videos for this one.

  • @fibienn250
    @fibienn250 Před rokem +10

    Breath taking. Am I right in thinking that this was written when Ren was still living with misdiagnosis? That makes this even more amazing!

  • @leahcarc1391
    @leahcarc1391 Před rokem +23

    OH Ren. You beautiful human. This song is for my sisters. If it was not for their love I would not be here. The way you visualize your words is pure magic. I am sending you hugs for your body to mend. Much love and gratitude, from Rachael. xxx

  • @maurylehane5059
    @maurylehane5059 Před 10 měsíci +4

    Ren, I have doubts you will see this, but when I started listening to your music, I was first impressed, then infatuated, then obsessed, your music makes me feel such an array of emotions I often deprive myself because of my erratic state. I think I knew if I kept delving into your music I would eventually find a song that so deeply resonated within myself that it could cause me physical pain/discomfort, I found that song, This speaks to one of my greatest fears on a level no other piece of music ever has, you hurt me today, but I don't blame you, thank you for sharing your music, your life, your gift.

  • @MarcelousTV
    @MarcelousTV Před 11 měsíci +5

    Another Frecked Angels Masterpiece!

  • @baconatordoom
    @baconatordoom Před rokem +24

    Seriously underrated. This is a masterpiece.

  • @drs936
    @drs936 Před rokem +8

    I haven’t been so obsessed with someone’s music since Mr. Maynard James Keenan!!

    • @terrygray8016
      @terrygray8016 Před rokem +3

      A lot of us who love & respect Maynard's art in music found this guy & are amazed by his artistry

    • @bernsteinmond
      @bernsteinmond Před 2 měsíci

      Me too! :D

  • @BorisMinkov
    @BorisMinkov Před 11 měsíci +3

    It's of great importance to know when is the right moment to leave the crutch. If you keep it for too long, it deforms you instead of helping you.

  • @skyegeorge4607
    @skyegeorge4607 Před rokem +14

    Every time I think I’ve found my favourite song… I listen to another one by Ren and he proves me wrong… This was amazingly powerful. So much so that it was hard to watch.

  • @stampandscrap7494
    @stampandscrap7494 Před rokem +8

    This was so heart rending. Reminded me of the time I was unable to lift up my covers for days at a time over 6 years with suspected ME I know think it was a complete mental breakdown due to CPTSD from being abused from 5 till 8 and many other things after.. So amazed at how you let your walls down, let your vulnerabilities show. This is beautiful but awfully sad. I wish we could all travel in time and come and hug you and help you through.
    By the way this 57 year old finally let down some of those walls thanks to you.

  • @lisastevens2607
    @lisastevens2607 Před rokem +7

    I think my heart just broke.

  • @oratoring
    @oratoring Před 6 měsíci +4

    How TF did I manage to miss this?
    Gave me chills. 😱

  • @savannahconley6491
    @savannahconley6491 Před 10 měsíci +7

    This is so raw. Felt every second of it. Bibi gives me Romy from The XX vibes, absolute amazing vocals…BUT the real winner here is Ren on those raw high notes…chills man, just straight chills. And the hard rock coming in for it just made my freaking year

  • @neiljeffries6497
    @neiljeffries6497 Před rokem +16

    That piano and first verse just bring tears to your eyes..
    Beautiful 😍
    A 21st century roger waters ❤️

  • @natashaszydlak4411
    @natashaszydlak4411 Před rokem +22

    Holy s**t Ren! Every song of yours....it's like your singing my thoughts, my feelings. Like you, I've been through hell physically and mentally the last 20+ years. If it wasn't for music and my fiance, well...I wouldn't be here. You are totally awesome. You are unique, a bloody god damn brilliant artist, and an honest human being who isn't scared to let the world know that life can be really crap sometimes. I have said this numerous times on some of your vids, but thank you so much. Music is the one thing that understands me and to find you, the one artist that actually puts into words so eloquently what is in my head...well..thank you so so much. I feel like I'm not alone. Peace and Love from Australia

  • @bjrn4243
    @bjrn4243 Před 6 měsíci +3

    Ren - your music has affected me so deeply. Like you, I was misdiagnosed for 7 yrs as bipolar manic depressive until I was diagnosed with MS. I used to be a musician as well. Until MS stole my hands and sight in one eye. The psychiatric drugs I was put on nearly killed me, and I've lost so much due to so many yrs of being wrongly diagnosed. My spouse of 18.5 yrs left me. Because nobody wants to love someone who's sick. Thank you. You've saved my life in more ways than you know.

  • @karenm1919
    @karenm1919 Před 6 měsíci +4

    I listen to this song several times a day It's how I feel and what I need

  • @tinymusikcodottv-Musikverse99

    [Ren:]
    Maybe if I move
    Maybe my troubles won't follow me
    I've got none to loose
    'Cause everything turned to dust around me
    My hope it got so bruised
    'Cause circumstance held me and it drowned me
    I'm searching for the glue
    To try and fix these broken things around me
    My love if I loose
    My mind I'd be so ashamed if you witnessed
    I try my best for you
    To try and keep my head but my God it's slipping
    An unspoken truth
    I feel my body dying as the clock keeps ticking
    And everything I knew is painted with a fear that it's all for nothing
    [Bibi:]
    Could I interrupt?
    If the weight should get too heavy I'll help hold this burden
    I'll walk with you my love
    Into the fires of hell if it would ease the burning
    But please don't loose your trust
    The man I know is brave so don't you dare say you're folding
    I can be your crutch
    Until we both grow old and the curtains closing
    [Ren:]
    Maybe if I move
    Maybe my troubles won't follow me
    My love I give to you
    Every single inch of my soul while it bleeds
    Baby I'm confused
    But I know in your arms I find relief
    Baby if I loose my mind
    Would you stay with me?

  • @leia_guitar
    @leia_guitar Před rokem +9

    I think any chronically ill in a relationship can relate. Thank you for putting into words what so many of us feel but can never say.
    Also, the song has some nostalgic 90s Nine Inch Nails and TripHop vibes. Haven't heard that in a while, awesome!

  • @ayemanda6174
    @ayemanda6174 Před 6 měsíci +4

    This is the most intense masterpiece I have ever witnessed in quite some freaking time.

  • @ryanbadger4437
    @ryanbadger4437 Před rokem +7

    I first came across your music from a reaction video of Hi Ren. I’ve looked at your other pieces and came across this one for the first time today. What I find incredible is how raw you are able to communicate emotions; it’s as if you have given a voice to people with chronic illness. Thank you for your work.

  • @ilBaccello
    @ilBaccello Před rokem +36

    Speechless... So happy for the reactors bringing Ren to the fore:-)