Becoming a Single Parent by Choice: What's it Really Like?
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- čas přidán 12. 09. 2024
- www.fertilitypl... | Creating the Family You Want
Becoming a Single Parent by Choice: What's it Really Like? - While flying solo into parenthood may not have been your first choice, is it the best choice in front of you right now? Fertility Planit Founder/CEO Karin Thayer moderates this session on the struggles, joys and shifting attitudes around single parenthood by choice, and looks at the practicalities of creating a child with a donor. She is joined by licensed psychotherapist and New York Times best-selling author Sarah Brokaw, cancer survivor and fellow single mother by choice Lisa Hochberg, and Scott Brown, Director of Client Experience and Communications at California Cryobank. This session is sponsored by Seattle Sperm Bank.
Captured Live on Ustream at the Fertility Planit Show 2013 in Los Angeles, at the Hyatt Century Plaza -- Jan 12th, 2013 -- www.ustream.tv/...
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How is a woman who is willing to love a child selfish? People don’t say that when a man decides to be a single father. And don’t gay folks have kids too? What is the difference? I support this video.
You were obviously raised by a single mother. But. I'm sure you're educated. So, what is the definition of selfish? Then answer you're own question!
Men never decide to be single fathers. What planet are you on mam???
@Jan-Ola Ellingsen I wonder how many SMBC actually had a strong father in the house with them as a child. Js.
@Jan-Ola Ellingsen This is true!
@@tomguu7260 have you not heard of Christians Rinaldo…
People totally miss the point when it comes to single parenthood.
It's not two parents versus one parent but support vs lack of support.
Children need many caregivers and role models. Even two parents are not enough and economy makes it hard for them to find time for the children.
A single parent household which is financially stable and has the benefit of extended family and community is way better for a child then a two parent household which is isolated, financially deficient, and where the parents struggle with mental health, stress, and relationship problems.
The focus should not be on pointing out disadvantages of single parenthood but on making society more supportive of children and families in general. It takes a village to raise a child.
Exactly, I don't get why critics keep thinking in black and white. There are so many different scenarios to single and dual parent households. Even the stats don't account for this. People need to start being more open and less judgemental.
Agreed. Well said
Say it again!! Great points!
Why is it whenever we try to compare single motherhood to a two-parent household we say the best of a single mother compared to the worse of a two-parent household. This is not cool. The facts are the facts, an excellent single-mother house will never be better than an excellent two-parent household. It's about the child, not the irresponsible single mother. Concentrate on the child, find out what the child says about not having his or her dad around!
I've been around a fair share of single moms. The girls are alway rebels and the boys are always looking for masculinity. 2 is better than 1, pushing out a baby and raising one day to day is difficult.
So proud that we have strong women here .. And all the negative comments are just wrong . Unless your in her shoes don't judge... Amazing!!! And much love to these women
hadar waldman 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾well said
All the negative comments are wrong... All comments that you don't agree with are wrong. Lol
Thanks so much for sharing. I am in this process and your experience has helped me know my next decisions. I am 43 years and had my first consult. Please wish me luck and pray for me.
Cathy Vickie you will definitely be on my prayers I wish you the best
Cathy Vickie good luck!
How did it go???
A year ago how is everything?
The judgmental people of the world use to judge against gay marriages and having children in gay marriages. Also people use to be against interracial marriages and blacks and whites having children together. Hopefully someday people will grow to except singles having children by choice. That’s the next step in society. Good video
NO, most crimes come from single parent households
Having a child is always a selfish act in any circumstance. No one gets a child for the child it's because I want a child. So if you think you can fully provide for a child, I don't see why you can't just have one.
I think it is brave and admirable that you did this on your own. Sometimes life doesn't go like you planned, and it is wonderful that you were able to continue with your dream to start a family despite these setbacks. From listening to your stories it is clear that your children will be extremely cherished. I am sorry about the judgmental comments on this video (I think the individuals who made them would be pretty surprised if they read developmental research). Hopefully the people in your life are kind and supportive of your decision!
Kel preach 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
i would have loved for them to get into the finances. like how can you afford childcare? and how is it for the kids as they grow up without a parent in their lives? how do you address the challenges that arise?
I always used to scoff at the idea of 'spirituality' as something important, because I'm an atheist, but I realized that really it's not about God or any higher power. It's about feeling there's a higher purpose to life. For me, it's feeling like I want to make the world a better place in some way.
Thank you for this beautiful video. ❤️
Hello from England
Can’t women in America purchase sperm from European Sperm Donor Bank? Prices vary between 400$-700$ and they send the sperm directly to one of the clinics you’re doing treatment with.
No comment, I am just watching the reality and truth of what is happening in this world we live in.
Human beings are using brains to make tht orevious simple life more n more difficult fr themselves☹️☹️
"Because he was Asian he was a carrier of hep-b" I'm sorry, maybe she meant simply " he was a carrier of hep-b" ????.... I'm wondering, is there a general hep-b thing with Asian people or was this simply an innocent (slightly embarrassing) slip up by the first speaker on the panel? If she meant it the way she said it...that's super ignorant. A total example of how NOT to be.
flowerfunful I’m asian and when I had elevated ALT levels the first thought my Dr. had was that it was Hep B, when it turned out to be non-alcoholic fatty liver disease. Dr. Said Hep B is prevalent in Koreans and they don’t vaccinate for it i the West because the risk here is mostly if you work in a sex industry(?). He tried to make me less concerned about it before discovering it was fatty liver by saying “oh it’ll only take 5 years off your life.’ Geezuz.
i wondered if she meant hap B as in Haplogroup B, rather than Hep B, heptatis B.
These must be women from the top 1 percent of Americans...
Yeah especially the surrogate lady. Not cheap. I'm in the public clinic in Finland 🇫🇮, the donor is anonymous (by law) until the child is 18yo. I only know the height approximately and hair & eye color. All total 100- 500e.
Can barely hear this. Will try later...
Why? What's the problem?
15:30 i am literally screaming in pain. A women being willing to kill 17 embryos because she wants ONE child only so that she has to tell him later that "hey I'm not your mother and your father was a donor but at least you have psychological problems being raised by a working single mom" when she is over 60 years old. Oh yeah and of curse she is smiling all the time how wonderful . . . .
niklasjuchem she is his mom, I think you mean the donor is not the child's father. But she is indeed the child's biological mother.
Yeah someone didn't get their facts straight. You do know there's also the option of freezing embryos for future insemination or donating to infertile couples right. Also some embryos naturally don't continue to develop or even implant into the uterine wall, so the body would natural rid the embryo. So how is this intentional "killing"? Also I'm sorry but 17 is an incredibly high rare number, I've known many to produce as many as 32 follicles and still have only 4 to 6 that fertilized and only 2 or 3 embryos that actually developed. It may be in-vitro, but it's still a natural biological development and some embryos just naturally don't grow anymore. Also genetic testing allows us to see ahead if the child may suffer from life threatening painful disease or deformity. Why on earth would you want to bring a baby into this world to make it suffer having this kind of knowledge way even before it develops a beating heart and brain?
Humans making life more n more difficult fr themselves
@@miansmas how is wanting children making life more difficult? That is a natural desire to want a child... and to judge it is actually evils and insensitive... and mostly made by people who have kids already.
Why are intelligent and good looking women unmarried and say they are "empowered" by going it alone...???? The number of times the single Mums say me, I, my own, I feel etc gives you the idea that their own feelings is all that matters when it comes to having a baby..do they take a step back and think about what is best for the baby?? Feminism has gone too far. It has created an economy where couples both have to work to earn the same as a man did in the 1970's, back then the man could earn enough for the family and the child was well looked after by the mother. Now both parents have to work and the child grows up in child care....this doesnt mean you might as well be a single mother....Stigma of being a single mother in years gone by was because people recognised how valuable a traditional nurturing family is to the well being of children. If everybody is single with little family support how do you think that will effect society?? Civility will break down..civilisation is only possible with families working together as a unit for the future...not only looking out for themselves as individuals.
@Wahyah Sakoni Yes your right..divorce, gay couples, single mothers or single Dads are excellent dynamics for a child growing up....
I’m planning on being a single parent alone and I love it
Feather, Fur and Forensics well said 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
Except you're contradicting yourself as you speak. You've acknowledged that times have changed and that even dual parent households too often have to work and put children in daycare early in this economy. Stop living in the past and stop putting all the blame on feminism. You can't turn back time and you can't snap your fingers for the economy to fix itself so mothers can stop working and stay at home. It's called accepting the reality and working with what you've got. Fyi single parents have existed for quite some time, and civilization continues and moves on. Yes some single and dual family households are miserable but some are very happy and content with what they've got. Also not everyone single has zero family support. You forget about grandparents, aunt's, uncle's, and close family friends. Some single mothers have that large network of support while some couples do not. You can't generalize. A complete family unit doesn't have to mean a father a mother only, it can mean even more. I'm not just speaking for single parents, I'm speaking for all parents.
TRUTH SEEKER what does looks have to do with it? They know they deserve better and won’t settle just to say they’re married so they became a single mom, simple
It all seems like hurt and abused people using a child to overcome their problems. It's never going to work if you just tell the truth!! Your child will have no connection with the biological father therefore will seek that for the rest of its life and the pain they go through will be because their mom chose this for them BY CHOICE!!! So selfish!!!
I am not hurt or abused. I am thinking about being a mom by choice. That is just a misconception about Single Parents by Choice each have different decisions for being a SPBC.
No one has time to wait for Prince charming who is indecisive to have children until his mid 40s please.
Besides most of the child rearing is done by women and not men
@@betc293 It's always about you. No one says it's the best for my child. It's always about your selfish behind.
@@karenkyanja4686 Wait? Be feminine and in shape and you won't have to wait.
@@tomguu7260 uuuummm ok 🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️🤷🏽♀️✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽
Selfish
How?
+Ivry Rayborn Seems like the women are more concerned with satisfying their own wants than thinking about the emotional development of their children. Also, the women seem very afraid to give up control, which is the sacrifice one has to make in order to give their child a complete family, and the best advantage at life.
I have to disagree with you on this one because there are many gay single parents whose children are emotionally and socially developed. Also, all humans are innately selfish and want to satisfy their wants. We get married because we want to satisfy a want although biologically speaking marriage is not necessary and not even socially. Anyone having kids in this overpopulated earth is selfish, but there are some people who really desire kids, but does that mean it's only designated to heterosexual families. The only reason why is single parenting would be emotionally damaging if the child is raised in a low income area with low amount of resources. Studies have shown that children living in a high income single parent home are emotionally and socially developed. I thought being a parent is about being in control. As an adult, you should be in control of your life.
SilvanaDil excuse me, but i can ASSURE you that a child of a single parent by choice COULD possibly be loved and taken care of even MORE than those having kids as actual couples. Why? These people (to which group I subscribe myself to) desire children SO MUCH that they are willing to and happy to have children and raise them on their own. These children are HIGHLY desired and will be very very very loved. Your comment is very judgmental which shows 1. Ignorance 2. An extremely judgmental character 3. Lack of love itself.
Yup selfish.
SELFISH MONSTERS
Get a life!!!