How Nico Tortorella Came Out to Their Parents | VFILES TMI

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  • čas přidán 11. 09. 2024
  • In this VFILES TMI, gender non-conforming actor and writer Nico Tortorella tells us about their first Pride march, walking in drag, becoming an activist, and more.
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Komentáře • 187

  • @tsheavenly
    @tsheavenly Před 6 lety +125

    I read tortilla

  • @Hutchhxcx
    @Hutchhxcx Před 6 lety +15

    Y’all did sit through the same 6028582835 conversations as me that being with someone of the opposite gender or same gender doesn’t exclusively tie you to being that label forever, right? Like, we were all there for the, “I’m still bi/pan no matter what” convo, weren’t we??

  • @raingirard4044
    @raingirard4044 Před 6 lety +25

    I love Nico so much, they are such an inspiring human being :)

  • @marvinraphaelmonfort8289
    @marvinraphaelmonfort8289 Před 6 lety +13

    "creativity is god looking in the mirror" amd almost immediately that clickbait face lol. love u, babe

  • @archanagoyal142
    @archanagoyal142 Před 6 lety +27

    To everyone cribbing in the comments, they, them and their can be used as singular pronouns. No, it is not gramatically incorrect. Calm down. It isn't a big deal. Just respect people and their wishes, its not that difficult.

    • @beautifulbalance3209
      @beautifulbalance3209 Před 6 lety +7

      The problem is that it is just ridiculous, they can not get offended if people choose not to respect them for that. They do get offended and Please respect me for not respecting Them, I am offended. Lol man this world is hilarious

    • @leahlind379
      @leahlind379 Před 5 lety +17

      It is actually grammatically incorrect lol. You can't just change the English language because you want to.

    • @jackcuddy4613
      @jackcuddy4613 Před 5 lety +4

      Leah Lind you literally can though? That’s how language works, it evolves through changes in usage and meaning. If you were right, we would all talk the same as they did in Shakespeare Times. Not only is it a basic fact that language evolves through common vernacular but also the institutions that uphold the rules of English grammar and language agree that They can be used as a singular pronoun, check the Webster dictionary if you don’t believe me. Furthermore, people have been using a singular they for hundreds of years before anyone was discussing gender. If you don’t know the mail persons gender you are most likely to say “they just dropped off the mail” not “he or she just dropped off the mail.” I fuckin hate how you assholes go out of yer way to belittle us without even knowing a goddamn thing about what you are talking about. Fuck You!

    • @leahlind379
      @leahlind379 Před 5 lety +1

      @@jackcuddy4613 You can pretend all you want but you will never be lol you're a guy or a girl. Sorry 😂

    • @jackcuddy4613
      @jackcuddy4613 Před 5 lety +1

      Leah Lind and yer an asshole 😂

  • @robbiesv
    @robbiesv Před 6 lety +4

    So well spoken. Lobe Nico!

  • @carlg320
    @carlg320 Před 6 lety +21

    Nico 😍 always so gorgeous

  • @keving-lo7841
    @keving-lo7841 Před 5 lety +2

    Very awesome video. There should be more tortorellas in the world. Love your work

  • @billywillson2388
    @billywillson2388 Před 6 lety +2

    Just because you have sex with same sex, doesn't mean your gay or bi. Some guys just love sex. Being gay/bi is about who you love and it's not all about sex people.. this dude is straight.. girl after girl, this dude straight let's not kid our self.

  • @nicolerose2179
    @nicolerose2179 Před 5 lety +23

    Wow. Most everyone in this comment section is rude as hell. Disappointing

  • @horrormoviescreamqueen13

    I just started watching "younger" and Nico is so cute!!!!

  • @jimwms62
    @jimwms62 Před 6 lety +31

    While I support someone’s desire not to use his or her pronouns, I don’t believe confusing subject and verb agreement is helpful. (don’t use the “their” example - it is not the same). However, let’s just drop the use of pronouns all together. “How Nico Tortorella came out to Nico’s parents” works just fine.

    • @shaungerald23
      @shaungerald23 Před 4 lety +1

      I agree. Whoever came up with these things is just making things more confusing and difficult for ever-y-one.

    • @laurigolub8467
      @laurigolub8467 Před 4 lety +1

      So yes as an English major plural pronouns in the wrong place is wrong "they" need a new word "one" maybe

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety

      I use xe, xem(self), xer(s) singular pronouns because it makes the most sense.

    • @trevvy2124
      @trevvy2124 Před 3 lety +1

      but technically don't we use ' they ' when we don't readily know someone's gender off the bat ? for example , if someone calls you , you can't tell by their voice alone if they're male or female identifying so wouldn't you say ' this person just called and THEY whatever whatever ? ' it's not confusing . people just don't want to do it and don't want to shift with society . it's nothing different than anything else .

  • @sophiajosephine7268
    @sophiajosephine7268 Před 5 lety +27

    "I've been with Nico for so long that I can't see myself being with any other man. " direct quote from their wife, obviously I will respect what they want to be called but it feels so fake to me. We have their wife referring to them as a man, his wife being a lesbian, yet they end up in a "heterosexual" marriage. It's not even confusing, it's just mislabeling/representation.

    • @Mobycat26
      @Mobycat26 Před 5 lety +1

      Yassssss!

    • @nextleveljourney6612
      @nextleveljourney6612 Před 5 lety +5

      TRANS TRENDER 💥
      Riding the wave of this Word’s notoriety for being a social media icon. 🤷🏻‍♂️

    • @danielasouza7707
      @danielasouza7707 Před 4 lety

      All about media...you wrote what i was thinking right now. Why heterosexual marriage??

    • @dariusoden6926
      @dariusoden6926 Před 4 lety +1

      I asked him the same thing and he just blocked me on IG. Plagating us all.

    • @sOn1N3feS
      @sOn1N3feS Před 4 lety

      Daniela Souza in an interview they said that the traditional marriage gives them rights that’s why 🤷🏻‍♀️ but im thinking why get married when ur gay and she’s a lesbian maybe they got married because they love each other as people I guess and their trying to change the meaning of marriage it’s confusing

  • @RuuBjAh1
    @RuuBjAh1 Před 6 lety +7

    Okay, I'm not entirely on this Tumblr genderfuck craze either, but literally every comment is about that Nico is lying about their (I guess) sexuality and gender, which is just - let the guy be.
    But what I do not understand; if you have to use "they" to refer to gender non-conforming people, as far as grammar goes; why isn't it: "They is gender non-conforming" but instead "They are gender non-conforming"? Because gender non-conforming people are still singular as far as I know, right? Plus, I know "it" might be a little bit dehumanizing in some people's opinions, but in other languages "it" is used as gender neutral and doesn't say anything about the actual gender but much rather something about the correct grammar to use. For example, in Dutch, we have masculine, feminine and gender neutral words. And one example of a rather odd coupling (if you look at biological gender as opposed to grammatical gender) is "het meisje" (the girl). "Het meisje" is namely gender neutral, though all girls are biologically feminine. So that is to say the grammatical gender has nothing to do with the biological gender. So why shouldn't you use "it" more freely in English? Or use "they", but then at least keep everything singular.

  • @ramonbelgi
    @ramonbelgi Před 6 lety +5

    It was driving me crazy. Couldn’t figure out who this was but he is from that show younger but wow I didn’t know he was gay

    • @romicor9
      @romicor9 Před 6 lety

      I first heard of him on season one of The Following, he played a character (Jacob) who had an affair with both a woman and a man from a cult.

    • @danchinoloves7804
      @danchinoloves7804 Před 5 lety

      He isn't he married to a woman

    • @eternalgemini
      @eternalgemini Před 4 lety +1

      Actually he's fluid, he's bisexual/pansexual.

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety

      Lol and please welcome to the stage: the epidemy of the problem with mainstream society! #notgay #notahe

  • @sarahleavy0829
    @sarahleavy0829 Před 6 lety +62

    People just respect it. They identify themselves with the pronouns they, them and their. You don't have to like it or support it. But you better damn respect it.

  • @gagahusband
    @gagahusband Před 6 lety +18

    My gender is Unicorn.

  • @paperboy8865
    @paperboy8865 Před 4 lety +9

    I enjoy Younger and he’s very good on the show but off the show his jumpy erratic behavior makes me wonder if he’s really over his admitted addition problems.

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety +1

      #non"masculine" movements

  • @josephmarr1664
    @josephmarr1664 Před 4 lety +1

    "we were confused too right.?" Obviously he was still confused when making this video and sadly is probably still confused to this day (although I wouldn't wish that upon him). Somehow I came across this today. Never heard of him before today, but from what I've seen of him it's a pretty sad story. And some lost one below said, "I love Nico so much; they are such an inspiring human being..." The only sense that can be made of that (since words do still matter to those who allow them to) is that the person is saying he/she (Rain Girard) is inspired by the disorder of this guy's multiple personalities. One's heart can only feel sadness for those who are in such darkness. I'm not saying any of this with any hate for him or others who follow this. I don't hate him or his followers at all. I'm just worried about them. I'm incredibly sorry for them and it hurts to see the path they are heading towards, knowing where their souls are destined unless God changes their hearts.

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety +1

      You're a very misguided person, joseph. No "god", and yes no gender too!

    • @josephmarr1664
      @josephmarr1664 Před 4 lety

      JustJ8 - wow! And u call me the misguided one. I can’t even type lol because it’s so sad that’s it’s not even funny. I’m not going to chastise u for being lost. Instead, I’ll just point out that I was once misguided and lost as well. That of course was prior to the Father sending me to the Son (which u obviously know nothing about). I didn’t know anything about God for most of my life. I didn’t grow up being taught about it and I had my doubts as I was just as wrongfully influenced by the world as u. And when I first did finally begin to read the Scriptures, I initially was in disbelief because it went so far against what is culturally acceptable in the world today. I was blind but I can now see. The only one that can open your eyes is God. I can’t guarantee u that He will during this physical life u have now, but it could happen. All I can promise is that your eyes will be opened. It’s possible it won’t happen until after your physical death, but that would be a horrific thing for u. I wouldn’t wish that upon u but it’s currently looking like that will be the route u will remain on. May God have mercy on u and continue to be as gracious as He has, and change your heart the way God has changed the hearts of so many before u, so that u will not have to endure what is seeming to be inevitable at this time. God Bless!!

  • @joeheise3611
    @joeheise3611 Před 5 lety +3

    Love this guy to death, he is beautiful and freaking real!!!!!

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety

      *person, and not he, but i agree!

  • @thislittlelandy7817
    @thislittlelandy7817 Před 6 lety +6

    What a beautiful sprit!

  • @nekusakura6748
    @nekusakura6748 Před 4 lety +3

    Nico's Wife is Really lucky.

  • @pukkafishcrisps
    @pukkafishcrisps Před 5 lety +22

    How a straight white man came out to his parents

  • @bowenshi6900
    @bowenshi6900 Před 5 lety +2

    Since no one seems to get it, Nico identify as non-binary and uses they pronouns and is pansexual/sexually fluid, therefore he can totally be interested and attracted to their partner: Bethany, who identify also as non-binary , who might be more into women, but since Nico is not a man, nor a woman, and their partner is also attracted to non-binary people, it makes sense that they are together, stop looking everything with a binary lense

  • @LiamRobertson
    @LiamRobertson Před 6 lety +15

    the reach is unreal

  • @Nataliescott27
    @Nataliescott27 Před 3 lety

    Love this interview and Nico; but the title is a little misleading, no? They don’t really talk about coming out to their parents at all. Sure they mention the moment they had with their mother about gay marriage, but other than that no real talk about coming out at all

  • @virlinehonore9767
    @virlinehonore9767 Před 6 lety +7

    why does it say their in the title instead of his

    • @starrygrl101
      @starrygrl101 Před 6 lety +2

      Because they are gender non conforming and uses the pronouns they, them, and their.

    • @virlinehonore9767
      @virlinehonore9767 Před 6 lety

      Kelly Cross oh ok, thx

    • @matthewmollette6077
      @matthewmollette6077 Před 6 lety +9

      Kelly Cross ive never understood this. Those pronouns imply that there is more than one person...I understand the non binary identification, but calling someone by those pronouns doesnt seem grammatically accurate.

    • @starrygrl101
      @starrygrl101 Před 6 lety

      Matthew Mollette but they do not want to be referred to by "he, him or his" nor "she, her", so therefore they want to be referred to as "they, them or their". It's what we were taught as grammatically correct but its 2018. Let them be called what they want.

    • @TheRedScareIsAlive
      @TheRedScareIsAlive Před 6 lety +3

      Kelly Cross I love how white privilege allows for this "them", "their" bs. Black people have real problems like trying to survive everyday. If your identity is your biggest issue, you're privileged.

  • @jimnoneofyobusiness5067
    @jimnoneofyobusiness5067 Před 6 lety +4

    Nico tortorella is the shit!!!!

  • @qualinhunter6439
    @qualinhunter6439 Před 5 lety +2

    I love u Nico also I love u and Snooki on How far is tattoo far ❤❤❤😍😍

  • @twerkinthecityhuh6340
    @twerkinthecityhuh6340 Před 3 lety +2

    nico....young ppl arent! re-writing history....its already been written!!!!

  • @danielasouza7707
    @danielasouza7707 Před 4 lety +3

    What happened to the world we live....

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety +1

      It gets better and better with more gender FUCK OFFs like us! :3

  • @ashleymccracken1906
    @ashleymccracken1906 Před 5 lety +5

    none of you have to like nico but you don't have to be biphobic while doing it

  • @dangelyn7473
    @dangelyn7473 Před 5 lety +4

    I don’t know what it is, but he doesn’t come off as genuine.

    • @clemsonbloke
      @clemsonbloke Před 4 lety

      Usually how it is when you have a gay man who doesn't have the balls to come out and wants to be called everything but gay. It's like bisexual, a gay friend once told me "honey theres no such thing as bisexual, bisexual is just gay with learners permit" LMFAO! Hilarious but he had a point.

  • @Hubert_Chicago
    @Hubert_Chicago Před 4 lety

    Nuts!!!

  • @ransitocastillo6463
    @ransitocastillo6463 Před 5 lety

    Esta ... bien este actor y modelo ...

  • @KeithOconnor
    @KeithOconnor Před 6 lety +2

    Nico is gorgeous, that's really all that matters anyway.

  • @mogiebridgette9115
    @mogiebridgette9115 Před 5 lety +2

    I wonder if they’ll ever get the chance to play a non binary character in a movie or show

    • @nekusakura6748
      @nekusakura6748 Před 4 lety +1

      Nico would probably need to shave their facial hair for that kind of role in my opinion.

  • @opinionist9942
    @opinionist9942 Před 6 lety +30

    When it's Pride Month and straight people feel left out

    • @Dave-xr3rj
      @Dave-xr3rj Před 6 lety

      this is so funny tho, it's abit bizarre to come out as ? and then just be straight white etc. There's nothing wrong with being straight white cis, but then what is the whole coming out thing about? People need to stop playing games.

    • @moarroz
      @moarroz Před 5 lety

      Idk he looks at men like i look at cheeseburgers lol maybe it comes down more to a submissive man that crossdresses. It's more sub vs. Dom...I think the gender naming etc is irrelevant. I mean without labels most people can infer upon a conclusion themselves..By knowing that person

  • @ameyashrivastava3847
    @ameyashrivastava3847 Před 4 lety +1

    ❤💜💙❤💙💙❤💙❤💙❤💙❤

  • @naturalself9
    @naturalself9 Před 4 lety +1

    What the hell is a cis male or female?

    • @kylesomerville8717
      @kylesomerville8717 Před 4 lety

      Monique Santos is you are born a female, and identify with that idea, then you are cis female. same for cis males

  • @jeepersfred6796
    @jeepersfred6796 Před 6 lety +2

    i thought nico used he/him pronouns despite identifying as non binary

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety

      Nope! The more you know :)

  • @jahihenderson1187
    @jahihenderson1187 Před 5 lety

    The look and his eyes and his movement for one looks like he took a little something but besides that he looks
    Like there is so much going on in his mind I need to know

  • @abuelaandrea
    @abuelaandrea Před 6 lety

    Give us fuckyng answer!!!

  • @michaelhere5147
    @michaelhere5147 Před 5 lety +10

    Wow ....... soooooooooooooooooooooo pretentious! I hope this guy gets into some good therapy.

  • @Justmee10
    @Justmee10 Před 5 lety

    Wait no hate but I AM confused, is he a trans or?

    • @LapisStone
      @LapisStone Před 5 lety +1

      Why are you wondering about their genitals?? Are you trying to have sex with them!? I can't think of any reason you would need to know what's in their pants... Do you also wonder what their underwear looks like??

    • @Justmee10
      @Justmee10 Před 5 lety

      @@LapisStone No I am just confused. people say he's not a man and some say he is I JUST like to know that's all. Nothing wrong with trans or gay or straight haha

    • @LapisStone
      @LapisStone Před 5 lety +1

      @@Justmee10 Man/Woman is an identity and they identify as non-binary.

    • @Justmee10
      @Justmee10 Před 5 lety +2

      Lapzul Music what is non binary? Can you please tell me? Remember no hate. I love everyone equally.

    • @LapisStone
      @LapisStone Před 5 lety

      @@Justmee10 I'm non-binary androgynous meaning I do not identify as male or female but as united combination of both. There are other types of non-binary such as agender who do not identify as male or female.

  • @danpatrick24
    @danpatrick24 Před 6 lety +12

    I always get a bad vibe from this person every time this person pops up. This person seems v unstable.

  • @Mobycat26
    @Mobycat26 Před 5 lety +5

    Don't let Nico Tortorella fool you. He's a bully. 😥

    • @ijustchangedmyname7794
      @ijustchangedmyname7794 Před 5 lety

      Janine Gilbert why you say that?

    • @Mobycat26
      @Mobycat26 Před 5 lety

      He was nasty to me on IG...and he even blocked me before he made his nasty response. A friend showed me what he had said.

    • @MA-yc7pz
      @MA-yc7pz Před 5 lety +1

      @@Mobycat26 He said and why?

    • @Mobycat26
      @Mobycat26 Před 5 lety

      He made a nasty political comment. Something along the lines of how if people didn't vote the way he said how terrible they were and he would block us and I said that I was going to unfollow him. He called me a bitch or something but blocked me first. I only know bc someone told me. How disappointing for him to be so narrow-minded when complaining about other people being xenophobic. I'm only continuing to watch younger because I love the other characters.

    • @mizuxsion
      @mizuxsion Před 5 lety +1

      Hahahaha got em

  • @snatched.8135
    @snatched.8135 Před 6 lety +14

    The inner grammar nazi in me is SCREAMING because of the title.

    • @archanagoyal142
      @archanagoyal142 Před 6 lety +1

      Snatched. The use of they, them and their as singular pronouns is not incorrect.

    • @snatched.8135
      @snatched.8135 Před 6 lety +6

      Archana Goyal It is. Just because you now would like to use it for your gender agenda, doesn't make it correct.

  • @hpofficcial
    @hpofficcial Před 6 lety +2

    Came out as what? ? His gender bullshit doesn't make any sense. He is a straight guy who apparently likes to dress weirdly, but ok. We're an inclusive community 🌈

    • @missjul8
      @missjul8 Před 4 lety

      *dates people but ok.

    • @hpofficcial
      @hpofficcial Před 4 lety

      @@missjul8 who are those men he dates?

  • @JoshBWeaver
    @JoshBWeaver Před 6 lety +78

    I like Nico but I will never use gender pronouns like "they" or "them" unless I'm referring to a group of people. It's just stupid.

    • @OdairInHisUnderwear
      @OdairInHisUnderwear Před 6 lety +25

      Well then clearly you’re using the English language wrong. When referring to someone of a gender that you don’t know, “they” has been the appropriate singular term for a long time.
      Ex: “Someone left their bag, I hope they come pick it up soon.”

    • @musical.0uija
      @musical.0uija Před 6 lety +16

      THEY HAS BEEN PLURAL FOR FAR LONGER. FTR I don't care if you're born male and identify as female vise versa, but the second you start asking me to refer to you, a singular person, as them/they/theirs, you get to be "it" cause I ain't playing that bullshit. You get HE, SHE, or IT.

    • @fonso_9217
      @fonso_9217 Před 6 lety +9

      Josh Weaver well that's extremely insensitive and you should probably reevaluate that babes

    • @jamesjosephmaquiran7847
      @jamesjosephmaquiran7847 Před 6 lety

      Josh Weaver they hen it's a gender neutral them mosty use by swedish and some Nordic people .

    • @imtiyaazcassiem5586
      @imtiyaazcassiem5586 Před 6 lety +6

      Comments like this is worse than reading hate comments to LGBTQ+ members because it's coming from your own community. It's disappointing

  • @joanannewallace
    @joanannewallace Před 6 lety +13

    What a load of crap!

  • @alejandromolinac
    @alejandromolinac Před 6 lety +3

    Ahhhh Yeah no.....

  • @thomascampr
    @thomascampr Před 5 lety +10

    He should definitely start drinking again

  • @iwnunn7999
    @iwnunn7999 Před 4 lety

    "Came out to their parents" more than one?

  • @xathyrus7043
    @xathyrus7043 Před 5 lety +4

    Faking for attention?

  • @Alchemist1330
    @Alchemist1330 Před 6 lety +3

    The fact that he had to ask about "two men and two women together why would they do that" screams he's not LGBT. We all knew from birth we wanted to be with someone we could not or that was different that our parents. And we had to grow up in terror of our desires never being fufilled. In your own word you have only started this a few months ago. Pls stop.

    • @jessboo173
      @jessboo173 Před 4 lety

      Uh no, he asked something like why can't two men or two women can't have babies--the way hetero couples do. And her mother told him even the idea of two men holding hands is weird and he found himself having a different opinion

  • @prideandrade1667
    @prideandrade1667 Před 5 lety

    the ending is so creepy

  • @pendorran
    @pendorran Před 6 lety +4

    I support trans and fluid people completely. But I refuse point blank to refer to a single person as they. them, etc. Singular is not plural. The terms are just nonsense in this context, sorry.

    • @archanagoyal142
      @archanagoyal142 Před 6 lety +4

      They, them and their can actually be used as singular pronouns. It is not gramatically incorrect. And if you say you support them completely, using those pronouns shouldn't be such a big deal.

  • @daddyaf945
    @daddyaf945 Před 5 lety

    Yummy

  • @jc2971
    @jc2971 Před 6 lety +17

    I think he is so full of sheet.

  • @Chauchatness
    @Chauchatness Před 6 lety +3

    That Nico guy is so annoying

  • @user-pz2lb1lq5m
    @user-pz2lb1lq5m Před 5 lety

    “Their” give me a Fucking break I hate this world

  • @fadhilramadhani1847
    @fadhilramadhani1847 Před 6 lety +10

    Lord no one cares about "THEM" lmao

  • @dariusoden6926
    @dariusoden6926 Před 4 lety

    This dude is wack.

  • @TiaLaMuneca
    @TiaLaMuneca Před 5 lety +7

    Is this person on the show "Younger"?