I’m Eighty

Lyric by Marcus Bales, music by Pete Smith
© Smith/Bales 2024
Ace bandage on my hand and wrist
I slept wrong and now I'm really pissed
Can't pick things up or make a fist
Or give a bottle cap a little twist
I’m eighty, the doc says it's a sprain
I’m eighty, and it's really a pain
I’m eighty, with just a little strain
Give me my roll-on lidocaine
I don't want to predict the rain
Ice pack, an elastic brace
Still hurts in the same old place
Once I played all the contact sports
I’m laid up now if I just twist my shorts
‘Cause I'm eighty, I’m older than dirt
I'm eighty, and you'll hear me blurt
I'm eighty, I don't want it to hurt
Give me my roll-on lidocaine
I don't want to predict the rain
Ace bandage on my hand and wrist
I slept wrong, can't even make a fist
Or give that bottle cap a little twist
I'm old now, I'm really really pissed
But I’m eighty, and I'm still alive now
Yes I’m eighty, just don’t ask me how
I’m eighty, and I'm still alive now
I'm still alive now