I ref'd when I was young, stopped when I was 15. I still remember why this many years later. It was soccer, I was ref'ing a good game, doing my best when 2 parents didn't like one of my calls. They yelled and swore at me. I blew my whistle, walked over to them and said, "I want you to know I did my best today, I am sorry you thought I did such a terrible job. I am walking off the field now, one of you is more than welcome to take my place." I walked off and their jaws dropped. One of them said sorry along with many other parents as I was walking off but the damage was done. I never ref'd again. I did file a report, both parents were not allowed back to the field for a month I heard but that didn't help, my love for ref'ing was gone. I wish more parents realized, ref's are not going out there to make a team win, they don't care who wins, they call the best game they can. And you know what, they are not perfect, no one is perfect, they will make mistakes, hopefully in the end it balances out for both teams if there is a mistake or 2. Parents need to learn this behaviour is not ok.
@@sotheary2428 please home school your kids. Please, please, please. Double dog dare you. Just make sure you give them standardized testing and publish the results. So proud America can tell if you're doing it right.
Earlier this year a parent decided he wanted to express his frustration of mine and my partner’s officiating by throwing his coffee into the ice during game. The game had to be stopped as the ice would need to be fixed and flooded over after having melted from a puddle of hot coffee. The parent arrested for Destruction of City Property. And the child, I later found out was expelled from the program. If you are easily angered by things you have no control of, please for the love of your children stay away from their competitions. Parents like this are a fucking distraction. Your negativity plagues the game and makes it frustrating to participate in. You’re ADULTS, act like it.
There’s so much to say as a hockey ref. I can tell you parents can get pretty excited, and when you mix alcohol some tend to get crazy. But the adult leagues take the cake. These people can become unhinged quickly.
I've been reffing for ten years and MAN, do I have stories! I was reffing a U11 C house with a 15-year-old who was clearly wearing a green armband (in Ontario, that signifies a minor and punishments are more severe). He was on the bench side and calls a too many players penalty. All I heard was the ADULT coach screaming expletives so I skate over to give him a minor for unsportsmanlike. He then turned to me to tell me how much I effing sucked, so that resulted in a gross misconduct. And that's not all! The TRAINER then started giving both of us crap, so that's another gross! I made sure they were suspended for at least the prescribed 8 games. But it's also not just the parents. There's a raging boomer who would "supervise" and "train" the first years by yelling at the most minor mistakes they made. He even made one kid bawl his eyes out and quit. Our RiC was an idiot to begin with and the boomer still "supervises" and "trains" to this day. 🤦♂ And those are just a couple of the worst ones I've heard, so I'll close it off with a happy story. I was reffing (or "banding" to those in the know) a U10 A competitive game, and this one parent kept yelling at me in the first period. After a goalie cover, I stared him down, asked him if he was done, but he decided to double down and asked me if I was going to "ref better." I kicked him out. Sucks for him too because the exit was alllll the way at the other end of the rink, he had to walk past parents of his kid's team, parents of the other team, all the while I had my arm up (line change procedure), preventing play from restarting. Good times 😂😂
Another major issue is governing state associations and assignors do not back up their officials. Especially when their damn well aware of certain coaches and parents behavior, and yet still do nothing. Like CHSAA in Colorado.
As a Jr.B fan, it's a pain when games get cancelled because the league can't get enough referees and people chirp the hell out of them. I get it, some referees are terrible and miss a lot of serious calls and i hear it from everyone - the grisled 40-something working class heroes to the 10 year old kids chirping "I'm blind, i'm deaf, i want to be a ref." if this continues, then pretty soon referees will want more money, getting them in will be harder, the price of Jr. B hockey goes from an hours wages to a day's wages.
It's sad when the main idea in the video to curb a parent's bad behavior is to punish their kids. I mean I understand the intent behind the idea and I totally agree that these referees should not be abused by the parents but it's just sad when it comes to that. I mean the poor kids just want to play hockey.
Can we please do this? So many great parents and fans out there but there’s always a few every year who get mouthy and out of control. We can call it a “bleacher minor” and it goes to the team of the parents of the offending team. Lots of coaches and other parents of that team would have lots to discuss. (Although I do see one massive issue with this- it can be hard to tell which team’s parents are yelling sometimes so in that case you’d have to just pause the game 🤷♀️. Idk). For example, I’m up in Canada. I was reffing in a girls’ U16 game and there’s a crazy parent screaming at both of us refs after EVERY call- icing, offside, one of 3 penalties in 2 periods. You name it, he screamed. I couldn’t tell exactly who it was because as soon as the play stops and I turn to look for him, he’d shut up. So this goes on into the second period and play stops. I pick up the puck and I hear him yelling about how I should leave the ice and just let the kids play. Id had enough and yelled either you leave or shut it down or this puck isn’t being dropped. I couldn’t figure out who he was specifically as he wasn’t in the first row of standing parents and the glass was somewhat foggy. But I could certainly tell which team should have had the “bleacher minor” penalty. He starts yelling again and I just stood at the faceoff dot and waited, “one more word and your team takes a forfeit. Just think about what you want to say” That was finally enough. Should I have kicked him out? Obviously, yes but I couldn’t identify him, so how do I kick him out? Another time, this past April, I got followed off the ice by an angry Walkerton coach who’s U10/11 team lost in OT while serving a minor for tripping. Parents from his team and another ref had to stop him from getting to me, although he didn’t seem out of control- no swearing or yelling, just mad but at this point we don’t take chances cuz we’ve had refs get hit and parents barging into ref rooms after games. And then they wonder why their kids’ games get cancelled on account of no available refs?
I’ll give you a great trick that I use all the time if parents start acting up you gather all the kids in the center of the quarter field and ask them all do you want to keep playing this game today every single one says yes then you tell the kids go over to the side of the standard your parents are at and tell them to shut up you would be amazed how kids can embarrass their parents by just doing that
Something I will not ever understand is why people do it in youth hockey my family is a major hockey family I grew up with my brothers playing and I just finished all my courses to be a level 1 on ice official level 1 usually do the youth games and where I live it’s pretty know you don’t yell at them while yelling at the refs in major league games really is just part of the spot they understand it is not something that should be done in youth hockey at all
As a hockey parent I think this issue goes both ways. I've seen many bad parents who express frustration EVERY TIME a ref rules against their team, but I've also seen many bad refs that don't have a clue what they are doing. The key problem here is that a lot of refs in youth sports are lack of training -- some of them even don't know the rules. Also there are times that refs make obvious bad calls -- lots of refs don't really want to take any challenges because they feel offended (really, they do!). Leagues should put more trainings on the refs.
just to chime in- i get where your coming from. In the states- games are assigned by local assigners who are told when/where the teams games are. the training typically consists of a online module, and a in person seminar, with a on ice and classroom session. And then you are given your patch, and you go work games. now I will say this, you don’t learn the rulebook overnight. hell, I’ve been been officiating for three years, and I still don’t know the entire USA hockey rulebook and casebook. The tricky thing is, there’s no replacement for experience in officiating. It is really unfortunate that occasionally you will have a bad official. Unfortunately, that’s the only person they can get. Because nobody wants to take the abuse anymore. many games in my are sometimes don’t even have more than one guy out there, simply because we don’t have the numbers. It all boils down to the verbal and fear of physical abuse.
Problem I have is Ref's think they are god like. As a coach you need to teach the kids what is right or wrong. Ask a ref why he did what he did, they will give you the game or penalty. Sometimes the ref's don't even know what is a penalty but as the guy said judge jury and executioner.
Depends on the situation, and how I was asked. If a player or coach came up in a stoppage of play and asked why I did what I did, sure no problem. Buf if they come up screaming and swearing, not so much.
Honestly I really can understand where your coming from I just finished my courses to be an on ice official and to actually understand stuff I’m watching videos and learning from fam because I was confused a lot during my actual training and stuff
Wouldn’t have such bad behaviour if the Referees did their job properly! Can the rest of us not do our jobs properly, and still get paid? Do your job or leave, and the ones that did leave, Good Riddance!
The thing is the referees often do a good job but get yelled at anyway because the parents don't agree with a call because it is against their kid or their kids team even if the call was correct.
it can definently go both ways. both parents and refs have been in the wrong. It is the duty of the ref to have thick enough skin to know not to even engage with parents. I believe usa training for refs is a joke and they do a terrible job of relaying how to disengage angry parents.@@kingwacky184
This video should be required viewing for all parents and players that they have to watch each and every year.
I ref'd when I was young, stopped when I was 15. I still remember why this many years later. It was soccer, I was ref'ing a good game, doing my best when 2 parents didn't like one of my calls. They yelled and swore at me. I blew my whistle, walked over to them and said, "I want you to know I did my best today, I am sorry you thought I did such a terrible job. I am walking off the field now, one of you is more than welcome to take my place." I walked off and their jaws dropped. One of them said sorry along with many other parents as I was walking off but the damage was done.
I never ref'd again.
I did file a report, both parents were not allowed back to the field for a month I heard but that didn't help, my love for ref'ing was gone.
I wish more parents realized, ref's are not going out there to make a team win, they don't care who wins, they call the best game they can. And you know what, they are not perfect, no one is perfect, they will make mistakes, hopefully in the end it balances out for both teams if there is a mistake or 2.
Parents need to learn this behaviour is not ok.
Their kids will admonish the parents actions
Sorry for u man, It sickens me that parents are like this now, there is no excuse for that type of behavior in any sport
Very well said
Kinda like how bad parents are pushing out teachers. I see a trend.
Or how bad teachers are pushing parents to homeschool their kids. Goes both ways.
@@sotheary2428 please home school your kids. Please, please, please. Double dog dare you. Just make sure you give them standardized testing and publish the results. So proud America can tell if you're doing it right.
@@sotheary2428 let them homeschool then. See how fast the U.S. education rate sinks.
Not at all the same! There are so many bad teachers out there, better to home school these days. Politics have no place in the classroom.
@@samcalven12 lmfao you think homeschooling is worse then the public education system 😂
Earlier this year a parent decided he wanted to express his frustration of mine and my partner’s officiating by throwing his coffee into the ice during game. The game had to be stopped as the ice would need to be fixed and flooded over after having melted from a puddle of hot coffee. The parent arrested for Destruction of City Property. And the child, I later found out was expelled from the program.
If you are easily angered by things you have no control of, please for the love of your children stay away from their competitions. Parents like this are a fucking distraction. Your negativity plagues the game and makes it frustrating to participate in. You’re ADULTS, act like it.
The participation trophy kids are all grown up now
Parents have lost their minds, society has forgot about respect ,parents today are the worst ,
it goes both way. You also have to respect the player.
There’s so much to say as a hockey ref. I can tell you parents can get pretty excited, and when you mix alcohol some tend to get crazy. But the adult leagues take the cake. These people can become unhinged quickly.
Just make acts of violence outside of hockey criminal and charge them. Then ban them permanently.
It is; but we all know that will never happen.
Everything I read about kids sports seems to say Competition and Fun. Then, the adults get involved…
My sons play travel ice hockey and I can attest to the horrible way that the refs are treated and many of them are teenagers. Its pretty disgusting.
I've been reffing for ten years and MAN, do I have stories!
I was reffing a U11 C house with a 15-year-old who was clearly wearing a green armband (in Ontario, that signifies a minor and punishments are more severe). He was on the bench side and calls a too many players penalty. All I heard was the ADULT coach screaming expletives so I skate over to give him a minor for unsportsmanlike. He then turned to me to tell me how much I effing sucked, so that resulted in a gross misconduct. And that's not all! The TRAINER then started giving both of us crap, so that's another gross! I made sure they were suspended for at least the prescribed 8 games.
But it's also not just the parents. There's a raging boomer who would "supervise" and "train" the first years by yelling at the most minor mistakes they made. He even made one kid bawl his eyes out and quit. Our RiC was an idiot to begin with and the boomer still "supervises" and "trains" to this day. 🤦♂
And those are just a couple of the worst ones I've heard, so I'll close it off with a happy story. I was reffing (or "banding" to those in the know) a U10 A competitive game, and this one parent kept yelling at me in the first period. After a goalie cover, I stared him down, asked him if he was done, but he decided to double down and asked me if I was going to "ref better." I kicked him out. Sucks for him too because the exit was alllll the way at the other end of the rink, he had to walk past parents of his kid's team, parents of the other team, all the while I had my arm up (line change procedure), preventing play from restarting. Good times 😂😂
Another major issue is governing state associations and assignors do not back up their officials. Especially when their damn well aware of certain coaches and parents behavior, and yet still do nothing. Like CHSAA in Colorado.
I've been reffing in eastern ontario for 10 years and I've never seen that. CHSAA should be ashamed of themselves.
As a Jr.B fan, it's a pain when games get cancelled because the league can't get enough referees and people chirp the hell out of them. I get it, some referees are terrible and miss a lot of serious calls and i hear it from everyone - the grisled 40-something working class heroes to the 10 year old kids chirping "I'm blind, i'm deaf, i want to be a ref." if this continues, then pretty soon referees will want more money, getting them in will be harder, the price of Jr. B hockey goes from an hours wages to a day's wages.
holy crap....it's Randy Travis!!!
It's sad that the kids are more behaved than the parents are. I guess hockey parents brains don't fully develop at 25.
Would you go to a job where you could be verbally abused and physically threatened with no accountability?
It's sad when the main idea in the video to curb a parent's bad behavior is to punish their kids. I mean I understand the intent behind the idea and I totally agree that these referees should not be abused by the parents but it's just sad when it comes to that. I mean the poor kids just want to play hockey.
Can we please do this? So many great parents and fans out there but there’s always a few every year who get mouthy and out of control. We can call it a “bleacher minor” and it goes to the team of the parents of the offending team. Lots of coaches and other parents of that team would have lots to discuss.
(Although I do see one massive issue with this- it can be hard to tell which team’s parents are yelling sometimes so in that case you’d have to just pause the game 🤷♀️. Idk).
For example, I’m up in Canada. I was reffing in a girls’ U16 game and there’s a crazy parent screaming at both of us refs after EVERY call- icing, offside, one of 3 penalties in 2 periods. You name it, he screamed. I couldn’t tell exactly who it was because as soon as the play stops and I turn to look for him, he’d shut up. So this goes on into the second period and play stops. I pick up the puck and I hear him yelling about how I should leave the ice and just let the kids play. Id had enough and yelled either you leave or shut it down or this puck isn’t being dropped. I couldn’t figure out who he was specifically as he wasn’t in the first row of standing parents and the glass was somewhat foggy. But I could certainly tell which team should have had the “bleacher minor” penalty. He starts yelling again and I just stood at the faceoff dot and waited, “one more word and your team takes a forfeit. Just think about what you want to say” That was finally enough. Should I have kicked him out? Obviously, yes but I couldn’t identify him, so how do I kick him out?
Another time, this past April, I got followed off the ice by an angry Walkerton coach who’s U10/11 team lost in OT while serving a minor for tripping. Parents from his team and another ref had to stop him from getting to me, although he didn’t seem out of control- no swearing or yelling, just mad but at this point we don’t take chances cuz we’ve had refs get hit and parents barging into ref rooms after games.
And then they wonder why their kids’ games get cancelled on account of no available refs?
celly at the start was nice
I’ll give you a great trick that I use all the time if parents start acting up you gather all the kids in the center of the quarter field and ask them all do you want to keep playing this game today every single one says yes then you tell the kids go over to the side of the standard your parents are at and tell them to shut up you would be amazed how kids can embarrass their parents by just doing that
Not going to work I would laugh at my kid and probably amp up the heckling
but my kids don't play hockey just football, baseball and basketball
@@kgkrjf2321 wow very cool mr tough guy I’m sure the nursing home will be nice and warm when you get sent there
@@mrfoodskater No such thing where i live
@@kgkrjf2321 I’m sure
Something I will not ever understand is why people do it in youth hockey my family is a major hockey family I grew up with my brothers playing and I just finished all my courses to be a level 1 on ice official level 1 usually do the youth games and where I live it’s pretty know you don’t yell at them while yelling at the refs in major league games really is just part of the spot they understand it is not something that should be done in youth hockey at all
We need a new rule book about this generation
As a hockey parent I think this issue goes both ways. I've seen many bad parents who express frustration EVERY TIME a ref rules against their team, but I've also seen many bad refs that don't have a clue what they are doing. The key problem here is that a lot of refs in youth sports are lack of training -- some of them even don't know the rules. Also there are times that refs make obvious bad calls -- lots of refs don't really want to take any challenges because they feel offended (really, they do!). Leagues should put more trainings on the refs.
If you obviously know the rule book well enough to be able to spot all these bad calls why don't you man up and do it yourself?
just to chime in- i get where your coming from. In the states- games are assigned by local assigners who are told when/where the teams games are. the training typically consists of a online module, and a in person seminar, with a on ice and classroom session. And then you are given your patch, and you go work games. now I will say this, you don’t learn the rulebook overnight. hell, I’ve been been officiating for three years, and I still don’t know the entire USA hockey rulebook and casebook. The tricky thing is, there’s no replacement for experience in officiating. It is really unfortunate that occasionally you will have a bad official. Unfortunately, that’s the only person they can get. Because nobody wants to take the abuse anymore. many games in my are sometimes don’t even have more than one guy out there, simply because we don’t have the numbers. It all boils down to the verbal and fear of physical abuse.
Problem I have is Ref's think they are god like. As a coach you need to teach the kids what is right or wrong. Ask a ref why he did what he did, they will give you the game or penalty. Sometimes the ref's don't even know what is a penalty but as the guy said judge jury and executioner.
Depends on the situation, and how I was asked. If a player or coach came up in a stoppage of play and asked why I did what I did, sure no problem. Buf if they come up screaming and swearing, not so much.
Honestly I really can understand where your coming from I just finished my courses to be an on ice official and to actually understand stuff I’m watching videos and learning from fam because I was confused a lot during my actual training and stuff
You cannot be serious
Wouldn’t have such bad behaviour if the Referees did their job properly! Can the rest of us not do our jobs properly, and still get paid? Do your job or leave, and the ones that did leave, Good Riddance!
The thing is the referees often do a good job but get yelled at anyway because the parents don't agree with a call because it is against their kid or their kids team even if the call was correct.
Found one.
Spoken like a true coward . Put on the striped shirt or shut your mouth
it can definently go both ways. both parents and refs have been in the wrong. It is the duty of the ref to have thick enough skin to know not to even engage with parents. I believe usa training for refs is a joke and they do a terrible job of relaying how to disengage angry parents.@@kingwacky184
Good thing it's a sport that you're not even playing in. Sorry your kid is stuck on JV and isn't making it to Avs training camp