It's a good response. Who would care about the type of guy who responds something cheese like: "Let's not be old-fashioned, we can stay friends 😏" A high quality man can take it as a *no*
Ah, you know that's not true. Women want to be wanted. We just don't want to be over-ridden (ie - assaulted). And a strong woman is capable of handling in a subtle way, unwanted advances.
@@ezziba8240 I’m Christian too, but we have a system ingrained in loyalty, most aren’t Christian so sadly these are the standards they have to live by. Grim world and I’m glad I’m not of it. Christians should test other boundaries, though.
As a Christian, I really had no problem saying no. I did get into dangerous situations because I was naive and thought they cared about ME. Ha! I met a man who was as convinced as I was to wait until marriage. Been married 42 years today!
40 years ago most were sleeping around as if there was no tomorrow. The few who didn't would barely fein to return a hello. That two who held these values would meet was, still is, a true miracle.
It's funny how most people call this a miracle (I suppose it is!), but in Christian families, this is commonplace. At least for those who know Jesus. Many of my family members remained celibate until marriage. All of those stayed married. And this doesn't include my church family. I'm holding myself to what God says is right and doing the same.
@@dreamscape405 That can be true too. Religion and rules can only do so much. It shames people into pretending. True religion is selfless. It strives to keep itself devoted to loving others. It humbles itself and serves the needy. When you follow Jesus, there are only two rules: Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.
I see a lot of comments on how a woman can say no and yada yada and how that’s attractive but I’ll tell you nothing was more attractive to me than my husband after our first kiss telling me he will always respect me. Then letting me know he wants to wait until marriage, which I had also wanted that. We did wait and we have an incredibly strong and wonderful marriage. Self control and commitment, wonderful qualities for both men and women.
@@Moiselle555 hi! I agreed it absolutely does not make someone unworthy for marriage if they have had sex. I should clarify my husband nor myself were virgins when we met but we had made the commitment prior to meeting that we wanted to wait from then on. We both believed it was the right thing to do. So I would encourage those who have had sex before marriage to surrender that and wait from now on. It’s a wonderful thing to do and has produce a lot of blessings in our marriage.
I think men and women test each other in different ways and about different things because both tend to value different things in each other especially for a long term partner. So men are attracted to the woman who can say no to sex, while still wanting to test it and sometimes are okay with sampling what a woman is freely offering. Women also want to test men usually for alpha qualities, they want to see if he is capable of telling her no (to likely anything, even just confidently disagreeing with her), dominating over other men (intellectually, financially, or physically) and her in those same respects (not abusively of course, I mean through a hypergamous lens). I've seen many women admit to acting out, trying to stir up an argument just to see if her man would shut her down, contain the chaos. I'm sure this annoys and confounds a lot of men. And of course, there are many women perfectly willing to use the money a man is willing to spend on her because he is freely offering it, even though she has no intention of being in a relationship with him. Men and women will always test for different things to each other because they value different things.
it kinda reminds me of The Notebook thought that guy went to the ends of the earth to get that girl and she eventually gave in, probably because she realised he was really committed. I think when a man tries and then tries again it is seen as a sign of actual interest not based on just the whim of the moment.
@@MsHenry147 so do you think a man trying hard is gonna change a woman's no to a yes? what if he is not her type and she feels absolutely nothing for him? its not a sign of his interest, it's a sign of disrespect.
No. if your no is weak. you are not a real woman. A man can't and shouldn't just accept your words because you say so. your no might be a lie now adays
About 6 months into my relationship with my partner we spoke about sex and he expressed that he was ready to make that commitment. I said I wasn’t and he simply told me that it was not an issue and that instead of asking me or bringing it up constantly in the future, it would just be up to me. I think that’s important. Not that women say no and that men constantly test their boundaries, but that 2 people who love each other communicate and neither pressure the other.
So in a nutshell you said NO, he was convinced that you're the type of person who says NO in such situations, and then that triggered respect in him, for you...and he married you? For one night stands, men want women who are "easy" (doesn't express no). for long term, men want women who said no to everyone else in the past and in the future as well. You passed this test.
The single biggest predictor of success is the ability to postpone reward. The biggest prize is a beautiful woman with plenty of admirers who is able to just say no to all of them until the right one comes along. It's not "sleeping with every person I like because it feels good and I don't care what anyone thinks".
Think your comment says a lot more about you than about women. You can have personal preferences, but what your lot don't understand is that you are forcing your personal preferences on to other people, demanding them to act the way you want; that's called authoritarianism. That's what women in muslim countries face. People who say this like you say seem to have a lot in common with em. Funnily enough.
I don’t know who you are OP, but as a pre menopausal woman who did just that and is still single,..I DO NOT recommend any young woman thinking that’s actually going to work. Men might be attracted, highly, but they want the whore more. You will be single for the rest of your life and die a virgin. They will not value you or wait for you.
@@elliotpolanco159 Worked for me. Very happily married 12 years now. I waited for a man with self control & integrity and a kind nature. I was also appreciative and gracious with men who were interested, as I felt fortunate to have their interest. I think they appreciated that.
Do you know where these classy men are that want a woman like that? I had so many guys wanting to meet me and every single one it just didn’t really lead to anything or somethings felt off. The best ones are when they just come on out and ask if you wanna be a sex slave or something I’m like what??? 😂. I was married to the same person and we started dating in our teens late teens. I figured I’d get married one more time possibly but from what I’ve seen out there no thank you this world’s trash.
Yes, but there are loads of women with golden hearts who are single and unable to find a suitable partner. Bottom line is that most men first need to be physically attracted to a woman before they inquire about the kind of heart she carries 🤷🏻♀️
I had girl asking me for unprotected sex every time so what... why are you judging other people you are so insensitive women like you should end up alone and fat
I am of the opinion, it is one thing to get caught up in the moment and initially test a boundary, but if you have made your boundaries clear, and someone keeps insistently testing that boundary and trying to cross it, they don’t respect you. This for me applies to friendships as well, not just romantic relationships.
@hey hey generalisation is a fine thing. It's especially fine when this prejudice leads to discriminating views. Topped off by indignity and inhumanity all in the name of uneducation and sedation
I'd say that the most attractive thing to an honest decent man would be to be with an honest decent attractive woman who has self respect and loves and respects her man. I'm just traditional so that's that.
That's because the boundary tells young men, "There's a real prize behind that boundary, something you ought to see if you can come up to." And that excites them, and gets them going in projects to impress the sophisticated woman. And that's actually very interesting to men, and a good incentive for them to come up to their best, as well.
I'm afraid we all have the same things between our legs, there's no "special reward ". One should wait because it's unhealthy to sleep with strangers, for both men and women. I have strict boundaries about sex because I need to feel safe around someone and make sure he likes me for me, not just for sex.
I met a guy at university in my first year and we made friends. He tried a few times and I would set the boundaries. I was only interested in being friends. I’d accept hang-outs that involved causal things, grabbing a beer or studying with a group of people. That kind of thing. I wouldn’t accept anything that could be misconstrued as a date. Anyway, awhile ago he was asking advice for asking out a girl that we both knew. I knew she wasn’t interested but obviously didn’t want to straight up tell him that, that was her job. He would text her constantly and she would always make excuses not to go on dates, take days to reply to him, etc, but she was always really nice about it. So nice in fact, that he still believed he had a chance. Eventually I just thought I’d save him the pain of waiting for a girl that clearly wasn’t interested, I told him that she was probably just too damn nice to hurt his feelings with a loud and clear NO. He told me he “likes that she’s so passive” 🤮 and that’s the kind of girl he wants to marry. I had to stop being friends with him
Not just the pill, but loss of traditional Christian practice made it more and more difficult to say no. In the past, 'I might get pregnant,' and 'I'm saving myself for marriage' were both powerful tool available to women. Now all they've got is 'I don't really like you,' which is mean and requires a certain cold-heartedness to be able to say.
If men understood just how often women get hit on they would find an “I’m not interested” to be kind. She’s not wasting their time or money leading them on.
Its cold hearted to say "I don't want to do this physical intimate activity with you"? But "I'm saving myself" isn't? It's no different. Really dumb line of thinking, self abusive at best. Normalize saying no, and normalize that you can't just ask people for sex. Nobody ever says it's the guy who should know his place and not ask for the inappropriate, why is that?
@@7PlayingWithFire7 because men are cavemen hunters, unable to control themselves, while women are supposed to be the keepers of society's "virtue" and are therefore to blame if they get raped, having clearly provoked tye rapist, failing at their virtuous purpose of "gatekeepers of sex". Btw, Peterson's daughter hot pregnant before marriage, so I'd say she's no sophisticated woman, according to his standards.
I made it crystal clear that my first kiss would be my husband, and the day that was guaranteed would be our actual wedding day. My now-husband only had the deepest respect for that boundary and ultimately for me for the nearly 3 years we dated. A high value man needs no excuses or fears about pregnancy, they just need to see a woman who believes in herself and holds high standards. Not to keep a man away or force him to jump through hoops, but to establish a standard of respect and regard. A man is literally willing to die for a woman who reserves herself for him. And yes, we kissed on our wedding day.
Easy when you're a mature adult, not when you're a troubled teenager or young adult. The pill made it easier for the demon of codependancy to rise and make us reluctantly agree to the terms of feeling united with another, even for a fleeting moment.
This is definitely something to think about. What are soul ties? I heard this on another cite & I hope I can repeat this correctly. The Bible says when you have sex with someone you become one. That means spiritually. So your spiritualities blend to be the same in each of you. So went you have one night stands is when this is the worst because you don’t really know what the spirituality is of the one you were just with. So I think this is pretty close to what I heard. But this is really scary. What happens if one in the couple came from a family involved in the occult? Or in another couple where someone was incestualized by their father. Or maybe there’s someone with addiction, abuse, narcissism, suicide, birth defects, cancer ect.. It kindof makes you think doesn’t it? So suppose you aren’t even aware of what soul tie’s are and there’s a baby involved? Now you really start to think & things really get scarier. The baby’s born from the mother, is one with her spiritually but suppose the mother is a prostitute? This means the baby has it all. Mind blowing isn’t it? But here’s the thing. We all have this in our bodies in one way or another because we have descendent’s that go back years. Alcoholism is like that but I think they say it skips a generation. It’s genetic. Diseases are like that like cancer. When a doctor says you have something that’s genetic it’s really a soul tie but they just don’t teach it that way in medical school so the doctor calls it a genetic condition. Soul ties can also be broken off. There’s books that tell you how to do this. You can also break those genetic medical conditions doctors tell you about. You can pray those away too & there’s lots of books out there that can tell you how to do that also. Hope this is helpful.
S E X : Sacred Energy Xchange Understand that when you are laying down with someone who is not all there mentally, and emotionally you're taking on their demons as well. It's so powerful whether you want to believe it or not. Be careful who you give yourself to. Same goes for people you surround yourself with, people you let into your home etc. We are beings moved and impacted by energy. Pay close attention to when you are around negative people, if feels heavy and their actions will absorb your good energy until you feel stuck, become angry and depressed because of the low vibrations. Also, having low vibrations can attract evil spirits because they feed on it when you are frustrated, upset, lonely and very sad. We can feel these emotions but not let them control our daily life. On the contrary if you are around positive people or be positive ourselves the vibe and your mood is very light with high vibrations which attracts good feelings and events. Energy transfer is real and more serious than we think. Please be cautious on who you share your life with. Family members, friends or your significant other may have toxic traits that will impact negatively your being from inside out, even more so strangers. Be mindful, it's real. I've been through this too many times in the past. My life changed positively when I learned what self love, self care, energy transfers and boundaries are. You are a human of high value, please live your life accordingly, do not give yourself away as a discounted item to be consumed by energy absorbers.
My mother and I were just talking about this issue. I was brought up in a culture (raised as a Baptist in the south) that taught girls it was their job to set up the boundaries when it comes to sex because men can't control themselves. Yes, a woman should be able to say no. But it is also a man's job as the leader and protector to lead a woman out of temptation, not lead her into it for the purpose of testing her boundaries. Women would more naturally fall into a role of respecting the man they are with if he proved that he was trustworthy, leading her in a Godly way and after her respect, not playing silly games like this.
The thing is we think we have to have a good reason to say no. But if we feel like saying no, we should just say it and leave it at that, without justifying it in order to make sure the other person does'nt feel hurt
Yes. I am very confused as to why anyone, man or woman, would feel compelled to need provide a "reason" as to why they don't want to literally meld their body with another humans body. It's literally the most intimate you can get with another person on this earth physically. Not wanting to IS the reason.
I would sincerely love to know where Peterson finds these men who want decent women. I'm in my 40s and 99% of the men I meet are okay with promiscuous behavior. In the sense that, when asked if they are looking for a serious relationship or some fun, they say they're opet to both. Which, to me says they are not a suitable partner because they're attracted to loose women. And since I am not attracted to loose men, I don't accept a second date. The vast majority of men are okay with pornography and promiscuity. Very few are not. This man should start a dating app or site and then have people participate in answering about their experiences when dating on said app. This is one of the first questions I ask a potential partner and I seldom receive a reply that states he is not okay with casual fun. I've been celibate for 8 years now and have pretty much given up on finding a partner, at least for the foreseeable future. I was never promiscuous and never liked men who were. It cut down my options substantially but I can't give my heart to someone who doesn't share my values. Good luck to everyone searching for a meaningful relationship and God bless!
I hear you. I’m in my 40s & a virgin who has always wanted to have a family. I have had offers for marriage from men who claim to be celibate (from my same religion), but I don’t find men attractive who use pornography, which means I don’t find most men attractive. Even if you think no one knows what you do, you can’t hide what you rádiate & the consequences (like how it affects how you act & treat people). Women want men with equal standards.
I'm sorry to hear that. I think a lot of it does have to do with age. Most good men who stay pure get married really young. But there is some good men still out there. My single friend met them through church, friends, and finally met her now husband on a chess app of all places.
@@sarahd1706 My god Sarah. I am now in my late 40's. Still single. Just like you, still a virgin. I just get turned off by men who tell me what to do with my body. They don't value PURITY. It's okay, at least I don't have any problem with regards to romantic love or relationship. :)
Any man who "tests the thickness of boundaries" and is hypnotized by a woman's ability to say "no", will immediately start testing boundaries of other women, as soon as this one lets down her guard and opens up to him. To hell with that. A woman needs a man who's psychologically mature and has emotional empathy. Everything else is a matter of personal preference and taste. Don't let any jordan peterson on social media or anywhere else convince you otherwise.
Life is very complicated. That’s all I have to say. When I was younger it was kind of expected for you to have a few experiences before you got married. There is never a set answer. I am in my 60s and I would counsel younger women to be careful. Be cautious.
Amen to that! I wish I had been more so. I ended up with a Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time to get to know someone. If I could go back, I would have made sure I was done with college and had a career established before I ever worried about getting serious with a man, or even being open to letting that happen. It gets so much harder to do once you have kids, medical problems, bills, and G-d forbid, an abusive partner like I had. Women are taught to care for others, but the best way to be able to do that for the long haul is to take care of ourselves first. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary!
Yeah but peterson doesn't want that. He wants women to wait and settle for just one guy. Forced monogamy. He acts like forcing monogamy by culture isn't equality of outcome, which apparently is the greatest evil ever. If he's intelligent, then he's malicious and manipulative, anything to combat equality. Cause equality is the ultimate evil, socialism is "the great lie", and every lie he tells is in service for the greater good, so he has no qualms lying. Either way or he genuinely suffered brain damage from his medicslly induced coma, or his drug habits broke him. That, or lying.
Except you can’t “ be careful” and “ be cautious” because it literally means she shouldn’t date at all. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to play Russian Roulette in trusting men. Especially a bunch of them that feel they are owed sex. She’s not psychic. A man MUST demonstrate in his behavior with her, consistently, that he’s trustworthy. But that won’t happen.
Purity, a beautiful heart and natural looks are what attracts me most. I dislike the cosmetically enhanced women who look either like Siamese cats or blow up dolls and happily include significant body count history.
Does « purity » matter for men as well? I think I know the answer. I do not think excessive sexual behavior with random people is s good thing. But « purity »? That’s always been a stick to beat young women with.
Yes, but that’s exactly what gets men stuck in the friend zone. Pursuing someone that keeps telling them no. And then they complain about being used if their pursuit isn’t successful
Yes, women leading guys on. They know from the start they don't really have the hots for him but they love how he will die trying. Proverbially speaking. (except when the guy commits suicide ofc)
A lady says" No, sir. Not until you are my husband. " A good man says " as you wish". Then the love pursuit begins. A man must find himself worthy of such a prize. 💞
Very romantic! I would add that women are not a prize to men really. If men feel inferior to women for being beautiful, they have to work through it. What men do instead is hate on more romantic men (accuse them of being less masculine), and then get angry at women for it. This is machismo. Women also have to believe in themselves and focus away from machismo (lying and head games), and focus on men with empathy. Men and women are telepathic. If they focus away from it and towards classism and showing off, they end up burning themselves.
Women who make men wait until marriage to have sex are just proving to you they don’t really like you. I guarantee you, there is one guy out there she gave it to without bringing up the marriage question.
That’s maybe if you continue living in your little fantasy world where everyone is Christian and perfect, but if you come back to reality you’ll know that 99% of men would laugh at you, get angry or rape you
Risks are big. I was used for sex and it made me damaged and unloved. Some women become mentally I'll once they realize they were used just for sex but not for love.
Knowing how to say “yes” to the innocent courtship of a man you do like and “no” to their occasional testing of the boundaries is what makes a woman strong.
In school.i was never allowed to have a boyfriend all my friends did and had active sex life etc. I was made to feel weird odd and different. No guys wanted me or were interested. I felt like shit. It affected my confidence and gave me inadequacies later at an older age. So while I love Jp and get what he means, it ain't always true. It really depends on the quality and intelligence of men you're dealing with, looking to attract or might give you the time of day, it's interesting...
100% what you say. It’s unfair to ask women to set the bar high and be the guardian of morality, when that’s actually the man’s job and important to display leadership in all areas of life. She needs him not to be a man-whore. A woman these days can be as chaste and beautiful as ever, but she will grow old doing so. It just means there is nothing left for women. Or she can join in on the fuck fest and still just get nothing.
The most attractive qualities in women in my opinion are: a good heart, integrity, accountability, and the ability to communicate and collaborate. Not how hard she says 'no' to things.
@@ARS-fn6px Yes, I value these qualities enough to live them myself. And relationships I've had with women who lack these qualities never worked out. At first I took it personally like "Why am I not worthy of being treated better than they're treating me?" But in hindsight I realized they simply weren't capable of it. There was a mismatch of values and inner qualities, and the universe kept freeing me up to be available for someone who can match me in this way
Let me just say that I have no issue with this as a woman and totally the understand this but I think it should apply to both genders. If he is a player that's an issue too. I have not slept around. I am not going to allow a player into my life period.
@@jaflaf3201 For teenage boys maybe not, but for women and grown men, being a fuckboy or man-whore are not attractive qualities in a mate or potential husband. I know I don’t want to marry a man who has no sense of discipline, discernment or a sense of loyalty or integrity, especially if I wanted to have his children. What kind of example would that be?
Almost nothing can be less interesting than something everyone has access to. Exclusivity makes you feel special, and every human being wants to be special, much more so in relationships.
Why do men want us to rely on them and let them lead but simultaneously expect us to be so good at saying no to them especially when they’re bigger and stronger and scarier and pushier than us
@@yorgenibnstrangle3072 Yes, any man. You can't want women to be agreeable and docile yet have their guard up around all men and good at saying no to them, especially when they're bigger and stronger. Men shouldn't pursue sex with women they're not genuinely interested in having a long term relationship with.
I was in Vegas for work, in a business suit and was totally buttoned up. I had to laugh because in a hotel with half naked women everywhere with spike heels, I was pursued by most of the men in the lobby. I'm like, WTH, why are you bothering me??
The men thought you have money, because you were wearing business clothes. The other girls looked like they need a man with money. Maybe that was the reason.
@@marietgagliardi nah .. I think the reason was because you were unattainable versus the others who are totally available! Men just like the pursuit of what they perceive that they can't have!
I agree, it does make for a very very attractive woman. In practice, you can't handle such a woman unless you are a true specimen of a man with utmost courage and love Attractiveness is a curse, not a blessing. In such circumstances, the playboy type wins out, because he's only focused on the woman as an object and not the person as a whole Genuine connection between two people is arguably better than having the most attractive female in the world
I am 27 years old and I had never been on a pill in my life even though I was offered that every time on my annual checkup at the gynecologist. I am happily married with one child and the second one is on the way 🤰. However I don't know what am I going to do after having my third child- I don't plan to have more children. Taking pills just seems so disrespectful for my own body. So dehumanizing. People should take pills when they are sick, not when they are beautiful, young, healthy and fertile. I think about many options in that regard, but taking pills are not on my top 3 solutions.
Thats ur problem u don't want kids so u immediately think about the pill to disrupt ur natural cycle. Its stupid and pathetic. U don't want more kids ok don't have intercourse
“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” was the first commandment God ever gave :) “Saying there’s too many children is like saying there’s too many flowers” - Mother Teresa
The pill and hormonal birth control causes breast cancer, lowers your oxytocin production as well as sensitivity, lowers your testosterone - which means lower energy and weight gain, and throws your dopamine out of whack because it’s regulated and based by Oxytocin. Just the tip of the ice berg. There’s TONS of horrifying side effects. It also tells your body that you’re having a miscarriage every single month. Not healthy in any way shape or form.
If I want someone to test my boundaries, I'll hang out with my preschoolers, thank you. I don't sleep with kids. That's gross. Little boys and girls want to test boundaries. Adults respect them.
We understood your point. It’s sad when normal people have to explain to others their not criminals. I hope we as a society in America can stop that. Ex. I love the man said a man but follows up with but I not gay. It only shows we have been desensitized to being normal. However, I can understand your reasoning of being around little angels until their poop starts filling the air! Lolo
@SnappyPantsDance then we need to raise boys to be men. Quit the boys will be boys bull crap. No more "he's only mean because he likes you.' Maybe we could allow our boys space to grow emotionally mature so they can react to rejection appropriately, rather than turning into fully grown rampaging toddlars.
I had a man test my boundaries on a first date. He asked me if I was birth control. I literally grabbed the plate and my purse and walked out of the restaurant. Told the waitress he’ll take care of the cost. The best thing about that date was the restaurant, the food was 🔥
Well, I would have left money on the table since he obviously believes in getting everything for free. You're not his Mama. You shouldn't have explain those things to him.
In the movie Pretty woman with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in a scene they get into a fight and he leaves money on the table and says that she can leave. She didn't take the money, although she badly needed it! Thats a classy person. U see, if you say that you are sophisticated, strong, independent and no woman would say she isn't, you can't mix that with "he's gonna take care of the bill". @marshahinson2360 explained it great, she would left money on the table because nothing is for free, so you are saying "i paid xy$ for a date with an a$$****, you're gonna pay a lot more if you treat woman like this". He was an absolute D-bad for asking you that, you reacted, but not as a "strong, sophisticated, independant" woman.
“Women used to be able to say no because they could say they were afraid to get pregnant…” Now we can just say, “No.” It is in fact a complete sentence. No one has to give excuses or reasons for why they don’t want to have intercourse with someone else.
Tell this too 99% of men crying and complaining that they are not getting any sx because women want the top tier guy. They feel extremely invalidated and offended by women's rejection and they blame only the womenkind for it.
His values just as much as hers are then demented. If a guy doesn't care about his appearance it means he is a loser. Hollywood is top tier. A guy with right morals and maturity will see value in himself.
Those men are lost and don’t know anything about values. If I reject sleeping with a guy in my country he will actually respect me. These stupid boys should collect money and go to sex workers.
This is the whole point of it, isn’t it? let the whining men be sexless and for not being mate-able. Let the complaining woman be with loser men for not being a match for the good ones. Let strong men who can say yes be with strong women who can say no, and live happily away from the complainers and whiners.
There are billions of men. How could they all feel the same? I don't believe in such a priori restrictions: we're all like this, they're all like that. Every person understands life his own way.
This dude, and many like him, make a living from generalisations like this. It doesn't have to correspond with reality, it just needs to attract a big enough crowd that believes it does ;)
Generalities disguised as statistics, as if the emotions, experiences and rationale of individual human beings can be condensed in a 1000 sample size. There are infinite combinations of lives who could meet at the right time or at the wrong time, from a wide variety of cultures. Generalities in this matter are stupid, lazy and, as seen in some comments, harmful.
That sounds sick to me that men test woman’s boundaries to say no of course young damaged* women are more acceptable to that kinda stuff it really just breaks my heart how unfair it is
@@TheBoots72 sleeping around for men doesnt break them. It breaks women. But obviously we can't have every man sleeping around because it destroys society
This comment was illegible past the first phrase and yet still has 10 likes. This person is a child who doesn’t understand the nuance of a romantic relationship.
@Anna Belle totally agree! That's why an abused woman should stay single until she sorts herself out, because otherwise, contrary to what maibstream romance makes us think, she will find predators not "saviours".
Little girls need to be taught self respect. They need to learn and know how important they are right from the start. If that happened then they would protect their hearts and spirit from the phycological risk just as birth control protects against the risk of pregnancy.
@@sunbox4700 yes, I'm actually a mom of five sons and becoming a good man was always important lessons in our home. It was always on my mind that I had been giving the responsibility of raising five possible heads of households.
What about feeling safe with a man and not having to be constantly alert? It is emotionally exhausting for a woman to be the one who has to say no all the time. Is JP saying, that a woman must not only controll her own desires, but she is also in charge of controlling her boyfriends desires? I think that's not the characteristic of a responsible, trustworthy man.
And yet it seems like men want women who say yes and she only finds out he doesn't want her. After she has said yes. It's tragic. It's awful. Why must men contribute doing this to our precious young women? And why do assholes like Jordan Peterson reinforce predatory behavior?
That would apply to equally sophisticated, selective men. The immature, insecure, shallow men would move in fast to easier to conquer targets. Especially nowadays when online dating sites are candy stores with plenty of choices. Furthermore, rejection can be dangerous when the rejected is an ego-maniac who will become your worst enemy. Think of the Weinstein type of men.
Yeah. 100% what you said. I “won” a used (and tied) condom thrown on my front step after saying no graciously and with friendly compassion, I walked away. Not only that, but I got lots of drive-bys, I guess to show me what a “man”he is, circling my house like a shark. I am supposing I was to feel honored in some way? Because it makes me feel like shit. It’s no different when a man pushes the boundaries. Where the hell did this idea that it’s ok for men to push boundaries come from?! It means you’re the type of man who thinks it’s ok to fuck around. You’ll eventually find the dope to say yes. That’s not husband material…it’s not even “yes to access of vagina” material. It means you most likely have a dirty dick and have zero respect towards women.
Thank you Louise ❤ it’s just not that easy for women to say no. It’s like we are hardly given the option to put our own needs first. Especially when we have been violated and shown it doesn’t even matter if we do say no
There is nothing more annoying than a man who keeps pushing and won't accept no as an answer. But there is one magic word that will stop him from bothering you -- just say the word "marriage" and watch him disappear.
Even as a guy, I don't have much patience for people that insist on testing my boundaries. So if I ever do come up against another person's boundaries, I make every reasonable effort to not test them. Anyone who can't take no for an answer is not someone to associate with.
EXACTLY. Thank you. As I graduated from high school in 1975, I found a crazy world of dating that was a whirlwind of saying no and never meeting a husband. Thank God I have carved out a life that I love. I consider a husband a good idea but I need it to be a good decision.
@@rachel14rod No, once they have SEX with a women who is only good for one ting..they lose interest. The more women complain about men online..the more they prove the 90/10 rule and the fact most women are sleeping with the same guys. Men typically want a women who puts all of her cards on the table. Women want men who they can't get a handle on. Men have enough challenges in the dating market.
I don’t know wtf Peterson is talking about. The thing men find “most attractive” is a sophisticated woman who says “no”?! Either he needs to explain his answer better, or he is way off. Men want a down-to-earth, easy-going, and kind woman. Not a difficult or “sophisticated” woman. That is a major turn off.
Unfortunately a lot of men also try to destroy a women's ability to say no, that part of "pushing boundaries" he is talking about can become abusive with men who are not used to being told no, and they can become agressive and try to be dominant with the woman. It hurts some men's ego that a woman is able to stand up to them.
Just say no, with or without pill, you can still say no lol what the heck is wrong with all these women “afraid” of saying no? You can literally stand up and walk away. That is why women need to be financially, emotionally, physically independent. Until you are independent, you can’t say no. A woman who can say no is a woman who is powerful and she knows she has options and choices.
I disagree, a woman who can say no is more likely to have morals and values. Men aren’t attracted to powerful women in the slightest, we just don’t care. Women do.
@@gromswowguide7927 Powerful means self power, it’s an internal thing. Not powerful like compare to men, it’s just an internal powerful feeling I appreciate. Men and women are different on many levels.
They're not "afraid" of saying no. They're afraid of taking responsibility for their own choices and want to blame someone someone else for any consequences. I don't agree that women "need" to be financially independent to say no (to anything, really). Women's voices are still there, choice is still there and so is bodily autonomy. In past dating experiences, the men paid for everything and I never felt that my morals, values, choices, voice and bodily autonomy flew out the window. Never even crossed my mind. Never thought I owed him my body. Idk Not sure what you mean by emotionally independent and physically independent. What comes to mind is a disabled individual requiring a caregiver 🤷🏻♀️
Women don’t say no because they are financially, emotionally, and physically dependent on men. Single women, like the women I went to college with, were in no way dependent. They jumped in bed with men because they loved sex and didn’t think it would hurt them. 99.99% or the time, women do not become financially, emotionally, and physically dependent on men until they are married to them at which point sex is safe and far more productive.
My father taught me this as a teenager and it was the most valuable lesson he could have. I could see how chewed up, used up and thrown away the easy girls were, whose fathers didn't teach them how to hold themselves to a higher standard. He also taught us that if you dress like a tramp you'll be treated like a tramp. He was great, he'd just say things in passing while we were talking to mom about dating and clothes. He'd say "You girls know better. It's up to you though, do as you like, just don't expect to live here if you do something stupid and wind up pregnant." Then smiling and adding, "See how neat that works?" And he'd just be his usual jovial self while delivering dead serious, rock solid advice. R.I.P. Dad ❣️😔
Omfg! This is exactly what I’m going through. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m completely happy alone and not wanting anything from a man/to get involved yet again and I’m constantly saying no or I’m not interested or I need space or me time or alone/hermit time and these men won’t freakin leave me alone!! It’s annoying because I feel disrespected and that they’re pushing the boundary and honestly it pushes me away even more. I’m just in a really happy place living my life and living my passions.
My no means no, I've never played hard to get, I just want to be left alone. If I like you I'll be straight up without throwing myself at you. I've also never been on the pill, I hate men who don't respect boundaries.
It's the REASON for saying no that matters to a GOOD man. Like the morals, principles and the self-respect. Also, a good man will not "test" the boundaries. He'll respect them just as he wants his boundaries to be respected. Jordan speaks from the perspective of one that hasn't matured yet. Also, the pill doesn't have anything to do with someone saying "no". Rather it makes it easier for someone to show their true colors.
So sad that we need a reason to say no. If we say no, it shouldn't matter what the reason is. A man should give me the respect of no longer testing my boundaries and trying to coerce me into pleasing him regardless of if I'm comfortable. Stay the hell away from me.
True, nothing more psychologically alluring to most people than just the right amount of resistance to their advances..and indeed, the pill did change a lot of things, and not necessarily only for the better
Wow. Ok, first time I've found myself disagreeing with JP so clearly on something. What's attractive to me in a woman is seeing that she'll break rules for me that she wouldn't break with other guys. It's the biggest sign that I'm the best thing her way and a predictor that we can have a strong pair-bond long into the future.
Or maybe this "virtue" never existed and it was always about caution? And that to claim its a virtue in the first place is really weird. Guys aren't seen as virtuous for being virgins, but women are? Literal definition of sexism. Must be hard to be such a right wing lunatic who views human beings as lesser and evil for having sex. That means you'd be okay with really terrible and evil acts to force people to behave according to your ideas. That makes you evil.
A man needs a sophisticated woman that can say “no”, indeed. Or rather, this man does. I have routinely tested this notion too, which I’m sure is partially why I’m single. Dr. Peterson is a genius.
I would sincerely love to know where Peterson finds these men who want decent women. I'm in my 40s and 99% of the men I meet are okay with promiscuous behavior. In the sense that, when asked if they are looking for a serious relationship or some fun, they say they're opet to both. Which, to me says they are not a suitable partner because they're attracted to loose women. And since I am not attracted to loose men, I don't accept a second date. The vast majority of men are okay with pornography and promiscuity. Very few are not. This man should start a dating app or site and then have people participate in answering about their experiences when dating on said app. This is one of the first questions I ask a potential partner and I seldom receive a reply that states he is not okay with casual fun. I've been celibate for 8 years now and have pretty much given up on finding a partner, at least for the foreseeable future. I was never promiscuous and never liked men who were. It cut down my options substantially but I can't give my heart to someone who doesn't share my values. Good luck out there!
He's a genius because he gave you a reason to blame all women over realizing that you almost definitely aren't sophisticated and you absolutely are the problem, not women ? 😂 Oof proper loser alert
@@Ana_1980 He doesn't base this on any reality, just imagination. He makes shit up to rile up his incel base. It makes pathetic losers feel better about themselves when they can blame women and culture over their own shortcomings. It's really sad. Cause these people could meet the right people, but the truth is they aren't mature enough, and refuse to grow, cause their parasocial daddy told them. Then these guys go over to andrew tate videos, and spread their hatred and blame on women to other guys. It's just losers willing to do anything over learn and grow, cause it clashes with their political views, which they can't defy cause their entire life is based around algorithmic jerk offs with their fellow misogynist and some soon-to-be extremists.
It is much easier to find a good woman as opposed to a good man, so I am extremely suspicious of men who claim they can’t find a woman. There genuinely must be something wrong that they’re not willing to admit, or rather they are not widening the net and only going after shallow and immature women, or women that they only want to sleep with. You’re playing yourself when the truth is, you’re choosing your life, whereas women in your situation didn’t, they’re too busy having escaped violent, abusive, toxic, cheating men etc etc, the list goes on.
It's not just about saying no because you don't want to get pregnant... You can say NO Because you don't want to actually have sex or you just have more self respect and want to wait for the right person.
@@margotrobbie8582 "the pill" is a contraveptve to prevent pregnancy. She's blaming contraceptives when I believe it's the woman and man's responsibility to engage in sex only when expectations are cleqr.
@@margotrobbie8582 She wants to trust a man, but most men will use a woman for sex and leave her while she was hoping for more. Lots of reasons. It's just one reason.
I think he was getting warm, but I think he has the sense to understand what is University hardwired in men to evoke as a response from women of this type - there are four things that a man unequivocally values in a woman, so valued are they, they command, they literally compel a response from him. Two of these characteristics, God gave her, two of them she has developed on her own, all together represent a value a man is compelled to honor and defend and love… 1. Her natural God-given beauty 2. Her utility, that is to say her ability to bear man’s legacy through children 3. Her humility, men cannot stand (as a matter of fact) oppose arrogant, haughty women 4. Self-control - a woman with self-control is not prone to leaning to her understanding on a matter right out the gate but tempers her perspectives and guides her emotions with her intellect rather than surrendering to them These things are highly prized by men, because they know these ingredients will go into his children.
It’s called “Self Worth” When a lady has self worth she illuminates this to everyone with her confidence. It’s beautiful to get that understanding that she has a higher standard than most.
Well he broke up wit me when i said NO! After almost 3 years! He wanted me to change my religion! Wat the Hell! There were other times I said no. For simple things. He still broke up wit me!!!!
Then you were one of the lucky ones. You stood your moral ground and in return, you were saved from committing yourself to a terrible marriage, because a real man who is a good man, a moral man that's in love with you will wait until marriage.
@@NB-yu4lj ???????. I believe he made a lot of excuses just to break up wit me. He blame me for everything. After he broke up he kept calling me like in between for 2! Years! I had to cut him off! He was playing wit my heart. I guess he never really loved me.
In other words, a man will do the most to push and force consent and if she ends up giving in out of exhaustion, he’ll respect her less. Wow, I am so proud of men!
The pill makes sure you’re safe, and that is all that should matter. Bringing a child into the world when it was not meant to be brought here, you’ll hurt the child, yourself and find no man who wants to date a young single mother
What a woman can say is, “I’m sorry. You’re not my husband.” And then leave it at that.
Or thier not interested plain and simple
@@anothernamlesscommenter352 Yes, that could be an answer too.
That's our kryptonite, isn't it.
Superb.
It's a good response.
Who would care about the type of guy who responds something cheese like: "Let's not be old-fashioned, we can stay friends 😏"
A high quality man can take it as a *no*
You know what is atractive to me as a women? Men who are not testing the thickness of my bounderies
How then will they know you’re capable of loyalty?
@@angelafoster5071 I guess they will need to trust me with that
@angelafoster5071 That's a good question, actually.
Though as a Christian, I wouldn't keep dating a man who asked me.
Ah, you know that's not true.
Women want to be wanted. We just don't want to be over-ridden (ie - assaulted).
And a strong woman is capable of handling in a subtle way, unwanted advances.
@@ezziba8240 I’m Christian too, but we have a system ingrained in loyalty, most aren’t Christian so sadly these are the standards they have to live by. Grim world and I’m glad I’m not of it.
Christians should test other boundaries, though.
As a Christian, I really had no problem saying no. I did get into dangerous situations because I was naive and thought they cared about ME. Ha! I met a man who was as convinced as I was to wait until marriage. Been married 42 years today!
40 years ago most were sleeping around as if there was no tomorrow. The few who didn't would barely fein to return a hello. That two who held these values would meet was, still is, a true miracle.
It's funny how most people call this a miracle (I suppose it is!), but in Christian families, this is commonplace. At least for those who know Jesus.
Many of my family members remained celibate until marriage. All of those stayed married. And this doesn't include my church family.
I'm holding myself to what God says is right and doing the same.
@@ezziba8240 No, RELIGIOUS people obey rules, it's got nothing to do with Jesus.
@@dreamscape405 That can be true too. Religion and rules can only do so much. It shames people into pretending.
True religion is selfless. It strives to keep itself devoted to loving others. It humbles itself and serves the needy.
When you follow Jesus, there are only two rules: Love God with all your heart, soul, and mind, and love your neighbor as yourself.
@@dreamscape405 Not exactly true.
I think this only applies to sophisticated men.
Immature boys stuck in adult bodies tend to throw tantrums/silent treatment when you say "no" to them.
Then again, saying no might help them grow up, too.
Though it would end any relationship with me.
@@ezziba8240 That’s the point, too.
no it really just depends. On what the "no" is to
@@mitsealb3609 Yeah, exactly. That's how people learn.
If an adult says no to a kid, tantrums won't help unless the adult is an enabler.
@@ezziba8240 Yeah. It’s similar but not the same.
I see a lot of comments on how a woman can say no and yada yada and how that’s attractive but I’ll tell you nothing was more attractive to me than my husband after our first kiss telling me he will always respect me. Then letting me know he wants to wait until marriage, which I had also wanted that. We did wait and we have an incredibly strong and wonderful marriage. Self control and commitment, wonderful qualities for both men and women.
But in this day and age that we live in, majority of the men don't wait till marriage, doesn't make them bad men
Agreed 100%
@@Moiselle555 hi! I agreed it absolutely does not make someone unworthy for marriage if they have had sex. I should clarify my husband nor myself were virgins when we met but we had made the commitment prior to meeting that we wanted to wait from then on. We both believed it was the right thing to do. So I would encourage those who have had sex before marriage to surrender that and wait from now on. It’s a wonderful thing to do and has produce a lot of blessings in our marriage.
I think men and women test each other in different ways and about different things because both tend to value different things in each other especially for a long term partner. So men are attracted to the woman who can say no to sex, while still wanting to test it and sometimes are okay with sampling what a woman is freely offering. Women also want to test men usually for alpha qualities, they want to see if he is capable of telling her no (to likely anything, even just confidently disagreeing with her), dominating over other men (intellectually, financially, or physically) and her in those same respects (not abusively of course, I mean through a hypergamous lens). I've seen many women admit to acting out, trying to stir up an argument just to see if her man would shut her down, contain the chaos. I'm sure this annoys and confounds a lot of men. And of course, there are many women perfectly willing to use the money a man is willing to spend on her because he is freely offering it, even though she has no intention of being in a relationship with him. Men and women will always test for different things to each other because they value different things.
That's because you married a good, Godly man. Majority of men are lustful, hedonistic heathens.
If a man is testing the thickness of my boundaries he is not a man he is a predator and he’s trying to trespass. A real man respects a woman’s no.
it kinda reminds me of The Notebook thought that guy went to the ends of the earth to get that girl and she eventually gave in, probably because she realised he was really committed. I think when a man tries and then tries again it is seen as a sign of actual interest not based on just the whim of the moment.
Everyone tests boundaries. It’s how’s you discern high value/ respect people.
@@MsHenry147 so do you think a man trying hard is gonna change a woman's no to a yes? what if he is not her type and she feels absolutely nothing for him? its not a sign of his interest, it's a sign of disrespect.
@@angelafoster5071 nope. Respectful people RESPECT BOUNDARIES, PREDATORS TEST THEM.
No. if your no is weak. you are not a real woman. A man can't and shouldn't just accept your words because you say so. your no might be a lie now adays
About 6 months into my relationship with my partner we spoke about sex and he expressed that he was ready to make that commitment. I said I wasn’t and he simply told me that it was not an issue and that instead of asking me or bringing it up constantly in the future, it would just be up to me. I think that’s important. Not that women say no and that men constantly test their boundaries, but that 2 people who love each other communicate and neither pressure the other.
Agree
That behavior in a man actually turns me ON, and i wish id find one like that. But they’re unicorns
@Sultana Banana wow that’s a BROAD unfounded statement
@Sultana Banana im grateful im not forced to marry someone who only cares about my dowry
So in a nutshell you said NO, he was convinced that you're the type of person who says NO in such situations, and then that triggered respect in him, for you...and he married you?
For one night stands, men want women who are "easy" (doesn't express no).
for long term, men want women who said no to everyone else in the past and in the future as well. You passed this test.
The single biggest predictor of success is the ability to postpone reward.
The biggest prize is a beautiful woman with plenty of admirers who is able to just say no to all of them until the right one comes along.
It's not "sleeping with every person I like because it feels good and I don't care what anyone thinks".
Think your comment says a lot more about you than about women.
You can have personal preferences, but what your lot don't understand is that you are forcing your personal preferences on to other people, demanding them to act the way you want; that's called authoritarianism. That's what women in muslim countries face.
People who say this like you say seem to have a lot in common with em. Funnily enough.
Easiest way for her to stay permanently single
I don’t know who you are OP, but as a pre menopausal woman who did just that and is still single,..I DO NOT recommend any young woman thinking that’s actually going to work. Men might be attracted, highly, but they want the whore more. You will be single for the rest of your life and die a virgin. They will not value you or wait for you.
@@elliotpolanco159 Worked for me. Very happily married 12 years now. I waited for a man with self control & integrity and a kind nature. I was also appreciative and gracious with men who were interested, as I felt fortunate to have their interest. I think they appreciated that.
Do you know where these classy men are that want a woman like that? I had so many guys wanting to meet me and every single one it just didn’t really lead to anything or somethings felt off. The best ones are when they just come on out and ask if you wanna be a sex slave or something I’m like what??? 😂. I was married to the same person and we started dating in our teens late teens. I figured I’d get married one more time possibly but from what I’ve seen out there no thank you this world’s trash.
A woman who has a good heart is more valuable than anything else that they have to offer.
Yes, but there are loads of women with golden hearts who are single and unable to find a suitable partner. Bottom line is that most men first need to be physically attracted to a woman before they inquire about the kind of heart she carries 🤷🏻♀️
Not to a lot of men, they just see that as weakness and use her.
Maybe to you but a lot of people see a good heart and think “snack time”
A good heart with standards & boundaries* I hope.
@@ARS-fn6px wicked men will manipulate women with good heart, wicked women will manipulate men with good heart. Thats how it is.
A quality man would never compromise a woman by asking for unprotected sex.
Dam RIGHT!!!!
paula please leave the platform..
I had girl asking me for unprotected sex every time so what... why are you judging other people you are so insensitive women like you should end up alone and fat
@@alessandrodestro8877 why cos shes right? lol
How does it compromise her to ask? It's only compromising if she acquiesced.
I am of the opinion, it is one thing to get caught up in the moment and initially test a boundary, but if you have made your boundaries clear, and someone keeps insistently testing that boundary and trying to cross it, they don’t respect you. This for me applies to friendships as well, not just romantic relationships.
Or maybe you just don't want ro be tested coz deep down you don't feel very much like you will pass
@@jaflaf3201 No means no. Nobody owes you anything :)
@hey hey is that what you tell yourself sado
@@jaflaf3201 Yes because I'm not a creep ass male. You could try it some time.
@hey hey generalisation is a fine thing. It's especially fine when this prejudice leads to discriminating views. Topped off by indignity and inhumanity all in the name of uneducation and sedation
I'd say that the most attractive thing to an honest decent man would be to be with an honest decent attractive woman who has self respect and loves and respects her man. I'm just traditional so that's that.
That's attractive to everyone
agree
No is a full sentence
Don’t care
No is a word
@@ButchersNailsEnjoyer rapist alert
That's because the boundary tells young men, "There's a real prize behind that boundary, something you ought to see if you can come up to." And that excites them, and gets them going in projects to impress the sophisticated woman. And that's actually very interesting to men, and a good incentive for them to come up to their best, as well.
There is also the forbidden fruit angle.
Men are dumb. They want "high status " women that don't want them and are willing to bet the house to see if they can change her mind
the response i usually receive from a man when i say n is his absence. few men rise up with nothing more than a trouser tent.
I'm afraid we all have the same things between our legs, there's no "special reward ". One should wait because it's unhealthy to sleep with strangers, for both men and women. I have strict boundaries about sex because I need to feel safe around someone and make sure he likes me for me, not just for sex.
@@rachangel1951 Then he is truly not worthy of you. Don’t be afraid to say no if you are not ready.
I met a guy at university in my first year and we made friends. He tried a few times and I would set the boundaries. I was only interested in being friends. I’d accept hang-outs that involved causal things, grabbing a beer or studying with a group of people. That kind of thing. I wouldn’t accept anything that could be misconstrued as a date. Anyway, awhile ago he was asking advice for asking out a girl that we both knew. I knew she wasn’t interested but obviously didn’t want to straight up tell him that, that was her job. He would text her constantly and she would always make excuses not to go on dates, take days to reply to him, etc, but she was always really nice about it. So nice in fact, that he still believed he had a chance. Eventually I just thought I’d save him the pain of waiting for a girl that clearly wasn’t interested, I told him that she was probably just too damn nice to hurt his feelings with a loud and clear NO. He told me he “likes that she’s so passive” 🤮 and that’s the kind of girl he wants to marry. I had to stop being friends with him
How flattering is it when you're wife has no fear of starting a family you! That's one way of measuring yourself as a man. By her belief in you.
100%!
Love that
Brilliant point! ❤️
Beautifully put. I think it's stunning when both partners respect each other that much.
"Men will do anything to test the thiccness". 👀
- Dr. Jordan B Peterson
Lol. I caught that too
Straight double entendre , am I right?
@@mishka8559 Yes
@@mishka8559 BARS
Extra
Not just the pill, but loss of traditional Christian practice made it more and more difficult to say no. In the past, 'I might get pregnant,' and 'I'm saving myself for marriage' were both powerful tool available to women. Now all they've got is 'I don't really like you,' which is mean and requires a certain cold-heartedness to be able to say.
If men understood just how often women get hit on they would find an “I’m not interested” to be kind. She’s not wasting their time or money leading them on.
@@emilyash2120 That's a good point, although in the sting of rejection a lot of men probably miss it.
Just say “I don’t wanna lead you on” “it’ll be bad for our relationship if we continue”
Its cold hearted to say "I don't want to do this physical intimate activity with you"? But "I'm saving myself" isn't? It's no different. Really dumb line of thinking, self abusive at best. Normalize saying no, and normalize that you can't just ask people for sex. Nobody ever says it's the guy who should know his place and not ask for the inappropriate, why is that?
@@7PlayingWithFire7 because men are cavemen hunters, unable to control themselves, while women are supposed to be the keepers of society's "virtue" and are therefore to blame if they get raped, having clearly provoked tye rapist, failing at their virtuous purpose of "gatekeepers of sex". Btw, Peterson's daughter hot pregnant before marriage, so I'd say she's no sophisticated woman, according to his standards.
I made it crystal clear that my first kiss would be my husband, and the day that was guaranteed would be our actual wedding day. My now-husband only had the deepest respect for that boundary and ultimately for me for the nearly 3 years we dated. A high value man needs no excuses or fears about pregnancy, they just need to see a woman who believes in herself and holds high standards. Not to keep a man away or force him to jump through hoops, but to establish a standard of respect and regard. A man is literally willing to die for a woman who reserves herself for him. And yes, we kissed on our wedding day.
Cool
Nice 🙂
I wish I had done that
@@Lelough_ I don't.
Too many Aunti G in comments.
You can still say no, I don’t want soul ties, or STDs, or the chance of a pregnancy, I say no every day lol
👏👏👏 true
Easy when you're a mature adult, not when you're a troubled teenager or young adult. The pill made it easier for the demon of codependancy to rise and make us reluctantly agree to the terms of feeling united with another, even for a fleeting moment.
Soul ties?
This is definitely something to think about. What are soul ties? I heard this on another cite & I hope I can repeat this correctly. The Bible says when you have sex with someone you become one. That means spiritually. So your spiritualities blend to be the same in each of you. So went you have one night stands is when this is the worst because you don’t really know what the spirituality is of the one you were just with. So I think this is pretty close to what I heard. But this is really scary. What happens if one in the couple came from a family involved in the occult? Or in another couple where someone was incestualized by their father. Or maybe there’s someone with addiction, abuse, narcissism, suicide, birth defects, cancer ect.. It kindof makes you think doesn’t it? So suppose you aren’t even aware of what soul tie’s are and there’s a baby involved? Now you really start to think & things really get scarier. The baby’s born from the mother, is one with her spiritually but suppose the mother is a prostitute? This means the baby has it all. Mind blowing isn’t it? But here’s the thing. We all have this in our bodies in one way or another because we have descendent’s that go back years. Alcoholism is like that but I think they say it skips a generation. It’s genetic. Diseases are like that like cancer. When a doctor says you have something that’s genetic it’s really a soul tie but they just don’t teach it that way in medical school so the doctor calls it a genetic condition. Soul ties can also be broken off. There’s books that tell you how to do this. You can also break those genetic medical conditions doctors tell you about. You can pray those away too & there’s lots of books out there that can tell you how to do that also. Hope this is helpful.
S E X : Sacred Energy Xchange
Understand that when you are laying down with someone who is not all there mentally, and emotionally you're taking on their demons as well. It's so powerful whether you want to believe it or not. Be careful who you give yourself to. Same goes for people you surround yourself with, people you let into your home etc. We are beings moved and impacted by energy. Pay close attention to when you are around negative people, if feels heavy and their actions will absorb your good energy until you feel stuck, become angry and depressed because of the low vibrations. Also, having low vibrations can attract evil spirits because they feed on it when you are frustrated, upset, lonely and very sad. We can feel these emotions but not let them control our daily life. On the contrary if you are around positive people or be positive ourselves the vibe and your mood is very light with high vibrations which attracts good feelings and events. Energy transfer is real and more serious than we think. Please be cautious on who you share your life with. Family members, friends or your significant other may have toxic traits that will impact negatively your being from inside out, even more so strangers. Be mindful, it's real. I've been through this too many times in the past. My life changed positively when I learned what self love, self care, energy transfers and boundaries are. You are a human of high value, please live your life accordingly, do not give yourself away as a discounted item to be consumed by energy absorbers.
My mother and I were just talking about this issue. I was brought up in a culture (raised as a Baptist in the south) that taught girls it was their job to set up the boundaries when it comes to sex because men can't control themselves. Yes, a woman should be able to say no. But it is also a man's job as the leader and protector to lead a woman out of temptation, not lead her into it for the purpose of testing her boundaries. Women would more naturally fall into a role of respecting the man they are with if he proved that he was trustworthy, leading her in a Godly way and after her respect, not playing silly games like this.
Thing is men want sex. We are not going to waste years without it if we can get it somewhere else.
The thing is we think we have to have a good reason to say no. But if we feel like saying no, we should just say it and leave it at that, without justifying it in order to make sure the other person does'nt feel hurt
Exactly!!
Yes. I am very confused as to why anyone, man or woman, would feel compelled to need provide a "reason" as to why they don't want to literally meld their body with another humans body. It's literally the most intimate you can get with another person on this earth physically. Not wanting to IS the reason.
It’s better to be alone than chase a man that’s just not that into you. Even if it takes years ❤
I guarantee you, for every one man that's no that in to you, there's 100 others that are like the attention seeking doggies that you're asking for.
Sadly, women don't have years to wait. They have to know this stuff before they ran out of eggs
I would sincerely love to know where Peterson finds these men who want decent women.
I'm in my 40s and 99% of the men I meet are okay with promiscuous behavior. In the sense that, when asked if they are looking for a serious relationship or some fun, they say they're opet to both.
Which, to me says they are not a suitable partner because they're attracted to loose women. And since I am not attracted to loose men, I don't accept a second date.
The vast majority of men are okay with pornography and promiscuity. Very few are not. This man should start a dating app or site and then have people participate in answering about their experiences when dating on said app.
This is one of the first questions I ask a potential partner and I seldom receive a reply that states he is not okay with casual fun.
I've been celibate for 8 years now and have pretty much given up on finding a partner, at least for the foreseeable future. I was never promiscuous and never liked men who were. It cut down my options substantially but I can't give my heart to someone who doesn't share my values.
Good luck to everyone searching for a meaningful relationship and God bless!
I hear you. I’m in my 40s & a virgin who has always wanted to have a family. I have had offers for marriage from men who claim to be celibate (from my same religion), but I don’t find men attractive who use pornography, which means I don’t find most men attractive. Even if you think no one knows what you do, you can’t hide what you rádiate & the consequences (like how it affects how you act & treat people).
Women want men with equal standards.
I'm sorry to hear that. I think a lot of it does have to do with age. Most good men who stay pure get married really young. But there is some good men still out there. My single friend met them through church, friends, and finally met her now husband on a chess app of all places.
@@sarahd1706 My god Sarah. I am now in my late 40's. Still single. Just like you, still a virgin. I just get turned off by men who tell me what to do with my body. They don't value PURITY. It's okay, at least I don't have any problem with regards to romantic love or relationship. :)
@@sugarspice7768 men want younger women for biological reasons. Age is definitely important
U guys r unicorns. Most modern women sleep around and r not wife material.
Any man who "tests the thickness of boundaries" and is hypnotized by a woman's ability to say "no", will immediately start testing boundaries of other women, as soon as this one lets down her guard and opens up to him. To hell with that. A woman needs a man who's psychologically mature and has emotional empathy. Everything else is a matter of personal preference and taste. Don't let any jordan peterson on social media or anywhere else convince you otherwise.
👍👍👍👍
Agreed.
The pill must not be the reason, your inner core must be the reason.
Life is very complicated. That’s all I have to say. When I was younger it was kind of expected for you to have a few experiences before you got married. There is never a set answer. I am in my 60s and I would counsel younger women to be careful. Be cautious.
Amen to that! I wish I had been more so. I ended up with a Dr. Jekyll & Mr. Hyde. There’s nothing wrong with taking your time to get to know someone. If I could go back, I would have made sure I was done with college and had a career established before I ever worried about getting serious with a man, or even being open to letting that happen. It gets so much harder to do once you have kids, medical problems, bills, and G-d forbid, an abusive partner like I had. Women are taught to care for others, but the best way to be able to do that for the long haul is to take care of ourselves first. It’s not selfish. It’s necessary!
What’s the difference between complicated and complex?
Awww 😢💜
Yeah but peterson doesn't want that. He wants women to wait and settle for just one guy. Forced monogamy. He acts like forcing monogamy by culture isn't equality of outcome, which apparently is the greatest evil ever. If he's intelligent, then he's malicious and manipulative, anything to combat equality. Cause equality is the ultimate evil, socialism is "the great lie", and every lie he tells is in service for the greater good, so he has no qualms lying. Either way or he genuinely suffered brain damage from his medicslly induced coma, or his drug habits broke him. That, or lying.
Except you can’t “ be careful” and “ be cautious” because it literally means she shouldn’t date at all. It’s IMPOSSIBLE to play Russian Roulette in trusting men. Especially a bunch of them that feel they are owed sex. She’s not psychic. A man MUST demonstrate in his behavior with her, consistently, that he’s trustworthy. But that won’t happen.
Purity, a beautiful heart and natural looks are what attracts me most. I dislike the cosmetically enhanced women who look either like Siamese cats or blow up dolls and happily include significant body count history.
So what? Good for you? That's like 99% of all women ever lol
Stop pretending that's a real issue worth funding misogyny for
Does « purity » matter for men as well?
I think I know the answer.
I do not think excessive sexual behavior with random people is s good thing. But « purity »? That’s always been a stick to beat young women with.
@@Tina06019 The same bothers me, too. A man who's not pure himself is not worthy of a pure woman. Period.
Purity? What century are you in.
But do you have a low body count? Do you have a beautiful heart to love and care for her?
If there's a guy who 'tests' they are not gentlemen. Get them out of your life anyway possible.
That's the feminism talking.
Truly strong women handle men's appropriate advance with grace and ease.
@@cjgodley1776 Appropriate is asking out on a date...not to bed for sexual intercourse when you first meet. No 'test' needed.
Exactly. Bingo!
But it does kindof depend on the citation.
I’m not sure why CJ is claiming to be godly when he is spewing the most un-Christianlike nonsense imaginable. But you OP are exactly right
Yes, but that’s exactly what gets men stuck in the friend zone. Pursuing someone that keeps telling them no. And then they complain about being used if their pursuit isn’t successful
Yes, women leading guys on. They know from the start they don't really have the hots for him but they love how he will die trying. Proverbially speaking. (except when the guy commits suicide ofc)
that´s exactly what happened to me.. but womans don´t like to alk about it
A lady says" No, sir. Not until you are my husband. " A good man says " as you wish". Then the love pursuit begins. A man must find himself worthy of such a prize. 💞
Very romantic! I would add that women are not a prize to men really. If men feel inferior to women for being beautiful, they have to work through it. What men do instead is hate on more romantic men (accuse them of being less masculine), and then get angry at women for it. This is machismo. Women also have to believe in themselves and focus away from machismo (lying and head games), and focus on men with empathy. Men and women are telepathic. If they focus away from it and towards classism and showing off, they end up burning themselves.
perfect answer
Women who make men wait until marriage to have sex are just proving to you they don’t really like you. I guarantee you, there is one guy out there she gave it to without bringing up the marriage question.
That’s maybe if you continue living in your little fantasy world where everyone is Christian and perfect, but if you come back to reality you’ll know that 99% of men would laugh at you, get angry or rape you
@I Like Pancakes So you are saying people can't change or reclaim their self worth? Sounds like projection.
The psychological risks of sex outside of love and marriage are grossly underestimated
Yep
Risks are big. I was used for sex and it made me damaged and unloved. Some women become mentally I'll once they realize they were used just for sex but not for love.
Knowing how to say “yes” to the innocent courtship of a man you do like and “no” to their occasional testing of the boundaries is what makes a woman strong.
In school.i was never allowed to have a boyfriend all my friends did and had active sex life etc. I was made to feel weird odd and different. No guys wanted me or were interested. I felt like shit. It affected my confidence and gave me inadequacies later at an older age. So while I love Jp and get what he means, it ain't always true. It really depends on the quality and intelligence of men you're dealing with, looking to attract or might give you the time of day, it's interesting...
100% what you say.
It’s unfair to ask women to set the bar high and be the guardian of morality, when that’s actually the man’s job and important to display leadership in all areas of life. She needs him not to be a man-whore. A woman these days can be as chaste and beautiful as ever, but she will grow old doing so. It just means there is nothing left for women. Or she can join in on the fuck fest and still just get nothing.
Nobody said it was going to be easy.
Guy: wanna go on a date?
Sophisticated woman: No
Guy: oh ok
😅😂
😂
😂
The most attractive qualities in women in my opinion are: a good heart, integrity, accountability, and the ability to communicate and collaborate. Not how hard she says 'no' to things.
What a great and refreshing comment
That's what he means, you twit
based comment
Do you have those qualities, though? Or are you a typical hypocrite? 😂
@@ARS-fn6px Yes, I value these qualities enough to live them myself. And relationships I've had with women who lack these qualities never worked out. At first I took it personally like "Why am I not worthy of being treated better than they're treating me?" But in hindsight I realized they simply weren't capable of it. There was a mismatch of values and inner qualities, and the universe kept freeing me up to be available for someone who can match me in this way
Let me just say that I have no issue with this as a woman and totally the understand this but I think it should apply to both genders. If he is a player that's an issue too. I have not slept around. I am not going to allow a player into my life period.
Exactly!! Respectable women don't want slutty men either.
Preach girl. Say it louder for all the women to truly understand. 👏
Right but you will test his boundaries in different ways. None of this is actually one sided
I'm sure a "playa" is not pejorative terminology
@@jaflaf3201 For teenage boys maybe not, but for women and grown men, being a fuckboy or man-whore are not attractive qualities in a mate or potential husband. I know I don’t want to marry a man who has no sense of discipline, discernment or a sense of loyalty or integrity, especially if I wanted to have his children. What kind of example would that be?
Almost nothing can be less interesting than something everyone has access to. Exclusivity makes you feel special, and every human being wants to be special, much more so in relationships.
Is that why I've been literally yelled at for refusing to go home with strangers?
🤣🤣🫢🤫
Why do men want us to rely on them and let them lead but simultaneously expect us to be so good at saying no to them especially when they’re bigger and stronger and scarier and pushier than us
He means they say no to sex with other men. So women who don't sleep around are attractive.
@@yorgenibnstrangle3072 Yes, any man. You can't want women to be agreeable and docile yet have their guard up around all men and good at saying no to them, especially when they're bigger and stronger. Men shouldn't pursue sex with women they're not genuinely interested in having a long term relationship with.
@@yorgenibnstrangle3072 that still doesn’t excuse men trying to push consent onto a woman
@@celestegarcia923 I don't know what you mean by "push consent"
@@yorgenibnstrangle3072 No to sex with them too. It should be earned. However long it takes.
I was in Vegas for work, in a business suit and was totally buttoned up. I had to laugh because in a hotel with half naked women everywhere with spike heels, I was pursued by most of the men in the lobby. I'm like, WTH, why are you bothering me??
The men thought you have money, because you were wearing business clothes. The other girls looked like they need a man with money. Maybe that was the reason.
@@wollfaden1979 ha ha. I bet you are right. Thanks for answering that mystery
@@marietgagliardi nah .. I think the reason was because you were unattainable versus the others who are totally available! Men just like the pursuit of what they perceive that they can't have!
@@Z8terfix I'm sure my wedding ring helped with that. Lol
I agree, it does make for a very very attractive woman. In practice, you can't handle such a woman unless you are a true specimen of a man with utmost courage and love
Attractiveness is a curse, not a blessing. In such circumstances, the playboy type wins out, because he's only focused on the woman as an object and not the person as a whole
Genuine connection between two people is arguably better than having the most attractive female in the world
A man's ability to hear no without having a temper tantrum is equally as noted. Furthermore, attempting to disregard my no will get you ghosted.
I am 27 years old and I had never been on a pill in my life even though I was offered that every time on my annual checkup at the gynecologist. I am happily married with one child and the second one is on the way 🤰. However I don't know what am I going to do after having my third child- I don't plan to have more children. Taking pills just seems so disrespectful for my own body. So dehumanizing. People should take pills when they are sick, not when they are beautiful, young, healthy and fertile. I think about many options in that regard, but taking pills are not on my top 3 solutions.
Look into Natural Family Planning! They'll teach you how to track your cycle and learn your body. It's the most effective, natural and safe way!
Learn natural family planning. It is easy. Used it for years when I was married. Never so much as a scare.
Thats ur problem u don't want kids so u immediately think about the pill to disrupt ur natural cycle. Its stupid and pathetic. U don't want more kids ok don't have intercourse
“Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth” was the first commandment God ever gave :)
“Saying there’s too many children is like saying there’s too many flowers”
- Mother Teresa
The pill and hormonal birth control causes breast cancer, lowers your oxytocin production as well as sensitivity, lowers your testosterone - which means lower energy and weight gain, and throws your dopamine out of whack because it’s regulated and based by Oxytocin.
Just the tip of the ice berg. There’s TONS of horrifying side effects.
It also tells your body that you’re having a miscarriage every single month.
Not healthy in any way shape or form.
If I want someone to test my boundaries, I'll hang out with my preschoolers, thank you. I don't sleep with kids. That's gross. Little boys and girls want to test boundaries. Adults respect them.
BOOM.
While a lovely thought(and I agree in theory) it is VERY few and far between men who won’t try.
We understood your point. It’s sad when normal people have to explain to others their not criminals. I hope we as a society in America can stop that. Ex. I love the man said a man but follows up with but I not gay. It only shows we have been desensitized to being normal. However, I can understand your reasoning of being around little angels until their poop starts filling the air! Lolo
Well said ❤
@SnappyPantsDance then we need to raise boys to be men. Quit the boys will be boys bull crap. No more "he's only mean because he likes you.' Maybe we could allow our boys space to grow emotionally mature so they can react to rejection appropriately, rather than turning into fully grown rampaging toddlars.
I had a man test my boundaries on a first date. He asked me if I was birth control. I literally grabbed the plate and my purse and walked out of the restaurant. Told the waitress he’ll take care of the cost.
The best thing about that date was the restaurant, the food was 🔥
QUEEN 🔥🔥
Well that was entitled and over reactive behavior on your part, what a hero for womanhood you are
Well,
I would have left money on the table since he obviously believes in getting everything for free.
You're not his Mama.
You shouldn't have explain those things to him.
In the movie Pretty woman with Richard Gere and Julia Roberts in a scene they get into a fight and he leaves money on the table and says that she can leave.
She didn't take the money, although she badly needed it! Thats a classy person.
U see, if you say that you are sophisticated, strong, independent and no woman would say she isn't, you can't mix that with "he's gonna take care of the bill".
@marshahinson2360 explained it great, she would left money on the table because nothing is for free, so you are saying "i paid xy$ for a date with an a$$****, you're gonna pay a lot more if you treat woman like this".
He was an absolute D-bad for asking you that, you reacted, but not as a "strong, sophisticated, independant" woman.
Men never accept "no" especially when you mean it. Then there is a never ending tirade you have to endure....
I guess that’s why a recommitment to chastity worked for me.
Me as well
I also didn’t want my future daughter or son to have relationship out of marriage so I had to practice what I preach before my children were born.
Amen👏💯 Jordan Peterson you hit the nail on the head
Actually no.....greatest reason not to as it's a mortal sin that will send a person to hell for aeternity.
Agreed. Never really been into women who dress provocatively and thrown them selves at me.
don’t worry, no woman is doing that.
@@pabloescobarschanclas why, u one of them
You got it confused bud. Women dresses provocatively have men throwing themselves at them..
No woman has ever thrown herself at you but good cope
“Women used to be able to say no because they could say they were afraid to get pregnant…”
Now we can just say, “No.”
It is in fact a complete sentence. No one has to give excuses or reasons for why they don’t want to have intercourse with someone else.
Someone who's not their Partner aka in a RELATIONSHIP!
Tell this too 99% of men crying and complaining that they are not getting any sx because women want the top tier guy. They feel extremely invalidated and offended by women's rejection and they blame only the womenkind for it.
His values just as much as hers are then demented. If a guy doesn't care about his appearance it means he is a loser. Hollywood is top tier. A guy with right morals and maturity will see value in himself.
Those men are lost and don’t know anything about values. If I reject sleeping with a guy in my country he will actually respect me. These stupid boys should collect money and go to sex workers.
You didn't understand shit bro 🤣
He's not talking about women
Second, he's the one who clearly said women are hypergamous 🤣
This is the whole point of it, isn’t it? let the whining men be sexless and for not being mate-able. Let the complaining woman be with loser men for not being a match for the good ones.
Let strong men who can say yes be with strong women who can say no, and live happily away from the complainers and whiners.
Learn proper spelling
There are billions of men. How could they all feel the same?
I don't believe in such a priori restrictions: we're all like this, they're all like that.
Every person understands life his own way.
Personaly I rather feel wanted and feel a woman can not resist me.
Its called statistics.
The average man, the normal people though
This dude, and many like him, make a living from generalisations like this. It doesn't have to correspond with reality, it just needs to attract a big enough crowd that believes it does ;)
Generalities disguised as statistics, as if the emotions, experiences and rationale of individual human beings can be condensed in a 1000 sample size. There are infinite combinations of lives who could meet at the right time or at the wrong time, from a wide variety of cultures. Generalities in this matter are stupid, lazy and, as seen in some comments, harmful.
That sounds sick to me that men test woman’s boundaries to say no of course young damaged* women are more acceptable to that kinda stuff it really just breaks my heart how unfair it is
Bruh girls literally test men to the point we even have a name for it. Literally, EVERY woman does it.
@@TheBoots72 sleeping around for men doesnt break them. It breaks women. But obviously we can't have every man sleeping around because it destroys society
A strong woman is able to handle appropriate come ons with grace and humor.
This comment was illegible past the first phrase and yet still has 10 likes. This person is a child who doesn’t understand the nuance of a romantic relationship.
@Anna Belle totally agree! That's why an abused woman should stay single until she sorts herself out, because otherwise, contrary to what maibstream romance makes us think, she will find predators not "saviours".
Little girls need to be taught self respect. They need to learn and know how important they are right from the start. If that happened then they would protect their hearts and spirit from the phycological risk just as birth control protects against the risk of pregnancy.
Yes Yes & Dam Right..
I'm Teaching my Daughter his ..
As she is 14.. S*** aint cute when people test your boundaries..
Little boys need to be taught too how to protect and love women.
@@sunbox4700 yes, I'm actually a mom of five sons and becoming a good man was always important lessons in our home. It was always on my mind that I had been giving the responsibility of raising five possible heads of households.
What about feeling safe with a man and not having to be constantly alert? It is emotionally exhausting for a woman to be the one who has to say no all the time. Is JP saying, that a woman must not only controll her own desires, but she is also in charge of controlling her boyfriends desires? I think that's not the characteristic of a responsible, trustworthy man.
Its ironic because men want women when they say no and don’t want them when they say yes- only because they said yes…
Hard to find a middle ground.
😞
And yet it seems like men want women who say yes and she only finds out he doesn't want her. After she has said yes. It's tragic. It's awful. Why must men contribute doing this to our precious young women? And why do assholes like Jordan Peterson reinforce predatory behavior?
That would apply to equally sophisticated, selective men. The immature, insecure, shallow men would move in fast to easier to conquer targets. Especially nowadays when online dating sites are candy stores with plenty of choices. Furthermore, rejection can be dangerous when the rejected is an ego-maniac who will become your worst enemy. Think of the Weinstein type of men.
Yeah. 100% what you said.
I “won” a used (and tied) condom thrown on my front step after saying no graciously and with friendly compassion, I walked away. Not only that, but I got lots of drive-bys, I guess to show me what a “man”he is, circling my house like a shark. I am supposing I was to feel honored in some way? Because it makes me feel like shit. It’s no different when a man pushes the boundaries. Where the hell did this idea that it’s ok for men to push boundaries come from?! It means you’re the type of man who thinks it’s ok to fuck around. You’ll eventually find the dope to say yes. That’s not husband material…it’s not even “yes to access of vagina” material. It means you most likely have a dirty dick and have zero respect towards women.
Yes. I gpt stalked and attacled for 7 years just because I said no.
Saying NO and see a man's reaction is your best way to sort out the ones who respect you.
Thank you Louise ❤ it’s just not that easy for women to say no. It’s like we are hardly given the option to put our own needs first. Especially when we have been violated and shown it doesn’t even matter if we do say no
That’s your problem. You either do or don’t. Simple as that. You’re not a victim. Make whatever choice you wish. Simple… so so simple.
Which a-holes men are who test that boundary instead of honoring and protecting it!
The majority of men nowadays, with sex so available, they have become lazier, crueler and more apathetic towards women and girls.
There is nothing more annoying than a man who keeps pushing and won't accept no as an answer. But there is one magic word that will stop him from bothering you -- just say the word "marriage" and watch him disappear.
😅
Even as a guy, I don't have much patience for people that insist on testing my boundaries. So if I ever do come up against another person's boundaries, I make every reasonable effort to not test them. Anyone who can't take no for an answer is not someone to associate with.
EXACTLY. Thank you. As I graduated from high school in 1975, I found a crazy world of dating that was a whirlwind of saying no and never meeting a husband. Thank God I have carved out a life that I love. I consider a husband a good idea but I need it to be a good decision.
Women who are mysterious and have boundaries.
Nonsense.
The last thing most men want is a mysterious women.
@@TheDalinkwent - once they know a woman ,they lose interest. Mysterious means not letting yourself be known.
What the fuck does that even mean?
@@rachel14rod No, once they have SEX with a women who is only good for one ting..they lose interest.
The more women complain about men online..the more they prove the 90/10 rule and the fact most women are sleeping with the same guys.
Men typically want a women who puts all of her cards on the table.
Women want men who they can't get a handle on.
Men have enough challenges in the dating market.
I don’t know wtf Peterson is talking about. The thing men find “most attractive” is a sophisticated woman who says “no”?!
Either he needs to explain his answer better, or he is way off.
Men want a down-to-earth, easy-going, and kind woman. Not a difficult or “sophisticated” woman. That is a major turn off.
Finally found someone in this comment section who thinks like me. 😢
Unfortunately a lot of men also try to destroy a women's ability to say no, that part of "pushing boundaries" he is talking about can become abusive with men who are not used to being told no, and they can become agressive and try to be dominant with the woman. It hurts some men's ego that a woman is able to stand up to them.
Once tested tho and she stands by her boundaries he no longer will pursue unless he's a real man and those are a rare find
Just say no, with or without pill, you can still say no lol what the heck is wrong with all these women “afraid” of saying no? You can literally stand up and walk away. That is why women need to be financially, emotionally, physically independent. Until you are independent, you can’t say no. A woman who can say no is a woman who is powerful and she knows she has options and choices.
I disagree, a woman who can say no is more likely to have morals and values. Men aren’t attracted to powerful women in the slightest, we just don’t care. Women do.
@@gromswowguide7927 Powerful means self power, it’s an internal thing. Not powerful like compare to men, it’s just an internal powerful feeling I appreciate. Men and women are different on many levels.
They're not "afraid" of saying no. They're afraid of taking responsibility for their own choices and want to blame someone someone else for any consequences.
I don't agree that women "need" to be financially independent to say no (to anything, really). Women's voices are still there, choice is still there and so is bodily autonomy. In past dating experiences, the men paid for everything and I never felt that my morals, values, choices, voice and bodily autonomy flew out the window. Never even crossed my mind. Never thought I owed him my body. Idk
Not sure what you mean by emotionally independent and physically independent. What comes to mind is a disabled individual requiring a caregiver 🤷🏻♀️
Women don’t say no because they are financially, emotionally, and physically dependent on men. Single women, like the women I went to college with, were in no way dependent. They jumped in bed with men because they loved sex and didn’t think it would hurt them. 99.99% or the time, women do not become financially, emotionally, and physically dependent on men until they are married to them at which point sex is safe and far more productive.
You can be as independent as you want and still not able to say no.
My father taught me this as a teenager and it was the most valuable lesson he could have. I could see how chewed up, used up and thrown away the easy girls were, whose fathers didn't teach them how to hold themselves to a higher standard. He also taught us that if you dress like a tramp you'll be treated like a tramp. He was great, he'd just say things in passing while we were talking to mom about dating and clothes. He'd say "You girls know better. It's up to you though, do as you like, just don't expect to live here if you do something stupid and wind up pregnant." Then smiling and adding, "See how neat that works?" And he'd just be his usual jovial self while delivering dead serious, rock solid advice.
R.I.P. Dad ❣️😔
RED FLAGS all over: "easy girls", "dressed like a tramp"...
If a woman WANTS to say yes, that doesn’t make her less attractive. Attractiveness and attraction is about so much more.
A confident women knows herself she's honest with integrity firm. She's a woman of Integrity she knows what she wants not afraid to say No.
Omfg! This is exactly what I’m going through. I’m at a stage in my life where I’m completely happy alone and not wanting anything from a man/to get involved yet again and I’m constantly saying no or I’m not interested or I need space or me time or alone/hermit time and these men won’t freakin leave me alone!! It’s annoying because I feel disrespected and that they’re pushing the boundary and honestly it pushes me away even more. I’m just in a really happy place living my life and living my passions.
Remember this when you hit the wall 🧱
What you feeling is right. If that is what you are feeling inside. Respect your thoughts because they are RIGHT!
isn't that deliberately pushing boundaries? and that is manipulation.
Not a manipulation if all you have to say is one word, No
@@quietmousse yeah it is manipulation. You know that. Also, it’s exploitative. You know that too.
@@rachangel1951 no it's not. You have the right and responsibility to simply say NO. Victimhood is the manipulation here.
@@quietmousse and you're victim blaming. a liar is a liar on their own accord.
My no means no, I've never played hard to get, I just want to be left alone. If I like you I'll be straight up without throwing myself at you. I've also never been on the pill, I hate men who don't respect boundaries.
I experience this more times that I can count 💯
It's the REASON for saying no that matters to a GOOD man. Like the morals, principles and the self-respect.
Also, a good man will not "test" the boundaries. He'll respect them just as he wants his boundaries to be respected. Jordan speaks from the perspective of one that hasn't matured yet.
Also, the pill doesn't have anything to do with someone saying "no". Rather it makes it easier for someone to show their true colors.
Exactly!! A high value man wouldn’t try to get her to bed before marriage
No a good man has to test her boundaries or she will get bored with him. Women only need to keep saying "No", it's not difficult.
So sad that we need a reason to say no. If we say no, it shouldn't matter what the reason is. A man should give me the respect of no longer testing my boundaries and trying to coerce me into pleasing him regardless of if I'm comfortable. Stay the hell away from me.
True, nothing more psychologically alluring to most people than just the right amount of resistance to their advances..and indeed, the pill did change a lot of things, and not necessarily only for the better
Wow. Ok, first time I've found myself disagreeing with JP so clearly on something. What's attractive to me in a woman is seeing that she'll break rules for me that she wouldn't break with other guys. It's the biggest sign that I'm the best thing her way and a predictor that we can have a strong pair-bond long into the future.
My mom told me this about the pill. It was the beginning of the end of virtuous women.
Or maybe this "virtue" never existed and it was always about caution? And that to claim its a virtue in the first place is really weird. Guys aren't seen as virtuous for being virgins, but women are? Literal definition of sexism. Must be hard to be such a right wing lunatic who views human beings as lesser and evil for having sex. That means you'd be okay with really terrible and evil acts to force people to behave according to your ideas. That makes you evil.
I sure hope u didn't go down the hedonistic lifestyle.
The Catholic Church has been saying this since contraceptives were available.
A man needs a sophisticated woman that can say “no”, indeed. Or rather, this man does. I have routinely tested this notion too, which I’m sure is partially why I’m single. Dr. Peterson is a genius.
I would sincerely love to know where Peterson finds these men who want decent women.
I'm in my 40s and 99% of the men I meet are okay with promiscuous behavior. In the sense that, when asked if they are looking for a serious relationship or some fun, they say they're opet to both.
Which, to me says they are not a suitable partner because they're attracted to loose women. And since I am not attracted to loose men, I don't accept a second date.
The vast majority of men are okay with pornography and promiscuity. Very few are not. This man should start a dating app or site and then have people participate in answering about their experiences when dating on said app.
This is one of the first questions I ask a potential partner and I seldom receive a reply that states he is not okay with casual fun.
I've been celibate for 8 years now and have pretty much given up on finding a partner, at least for the foreseeable future. I was never promiscuous and never liked men who were. It cut down my options substantially but I can't give my heart to someone who doesn't share my values.
Good luck out there!
He's a genius because he gave you a reason to blame all women over realizing that you almost definitely aren't sophisticated and you absolutely are the problem, not women ? 😂
Oof proper loser alert
@@Ana_1980 He doesn't base this on any reality, just imagination. He makes shit up to rile up his incel base.
It makes pathetic losers feel better about themselves when they can blame women and culture over their own shortcomings.
It's really sad. Cause these people could meet the right people, but the truth is they aren't mature enough, and refuse to grow, cause their parasocial daddy told them.
Then these guys go over to andrew tate videos, and spread their hatred and blame on women to other guys.
It's just losers willing to do anything over learn and grow, cause it clashes with their political views, which they can't defy cause their entire life is based around algorithmic jerk offs with their fellow misogynist and some soon-to-be extremists.
It is much easier to find a good woman as opposed to a good man, so I am extremely suspicious of men who claim they can’t find a woman. There genuinely must be something wrong that they’re not willing to admit, or rather they are not widening the net and only going after shallow and immature women, or women that they only want to sleep with. You’re playing yourself when the truth is, you’re choosing your life, whereas women in your situation didn’t, they’re too busy having escaped violent, abusive, toxic, cheating men etc etc, the list goes on.
I think my boundaries are so thick men dont even try to test it 😂
Virtue might be the word
It's not just about saying no because you don't want to get pregnant... You can say NO Because you don't want to actually have sex or you just have more self respect and want to wait for the right person.
I think she missed the point. The real reason why we have to say "no" isn't for the physical risks; it’s for the psychological risks and they know it.
I don’t understand what she means? Im not native.
@@margotrobbie8582 "the pill" is a contraveptve to prevent pregnancy. She's blaming contraceptives when I believe it's the woman and man's responsibility to engage in sex only when expectations are cleqr.
@@margotrobbie8582 She wants to trust a man, but most men will use a woman for sex and leave her while she was hoping for more. Lots of reasons. It's just one reason.
Jordan Peterson will never truly be missed
That whole podcast was just brilliant
My wife used to say “no” all the time. Amazing that we ever had kids.
How is your relationship now?
I think he was getting warm, but I think he has the sense to understand what is University hardwired in men to evoke as a response from women of this type - there are four things that a man unequivocally values in a woman, so valued are they, they command, they literally compel a response from him.
Two of these characteristics, God gave her, two of them she has developed on her own, all together represent a value a man is compelled to honor and defend and love…
1. Her natural God-given beauty
2. Her utility, that is to say her ability to bear man’s legacy through children
3. Her humility, men cannot stand (as a matter of fact) oppose arrogant, haughty women
4. Self-control - a woman with self-control is not prone to leaning to her understanding on a matter right out the gate but tempers her perspectives and guides her emotions with her intellect rather than surrendering to them
These things are highly prized by men, because they know these ingredients will go into his children.
A man should note her family interactions and what kind of friends she has also.
She’s a true hero…
It’s called “Self Worth”
When a lady has self worth she illuminates this to everyone with her confidence. It’s beautiful to get that understanding that she has a higher standard than most.
So the girl I should be with should say No a lot?
Well he broke up wit me when i said NO! After almost 3 years! He wanted me to change my religion! Wat the Hell! There were other times I said no. For simple things. He still broke up wit me!!!!
Then you were one of the lucky ones. You stood your moral ground and in return, you were saved from committing yourself to a terrible marriage, because a real man who is a good man, a moral man that's in love with you will wait until marriage.
@@forgodandcountry6554 thank u for such encouraging words. Blessings
What’s his side of the story?
@@NB-yu4lj ???????. I believe he made a lot of excuses just to break up wit me. He blame me for everything. After he broke up he kept calling me like in between for 2! Years! I had to cut him off! He was playing wit my heart. I guess he never really loved me.
This is not love. You cannot expect someone to change religion because religion is something privat and you have to believe in it.
Having boundaries is top of the stack? No. Looks are top of the stack. All people care about is how someone looks.
Very genuine and sophisticated, good, noble woman.
In other words, a man will do the most to push and force consent and if she ends up giving in out of exhaustion, he’ll respect her less. Wow, I am so proud of men!
The pill makes you more likely to say yes to men that you wouldn’t find attractive off the pill so that’s also concerning
@@darthvader1793 I hope she says yes 🔥
That is an abdication of responsibility. The pill does not make you do anything.
The pill makes sure you’re safe, and that is all that should matter. Bringing a child into the world when it was not meant to be brought here, you’ll hurt the child, yourself and find no man who wants to date a young single mother
A sophisticated woman that stays strong in her convictions is honestly so attractive, it’s the greenest of green flags.
Top of his stack! Beauty and attraction has no labels or limits!!!! It's that mysterious thing that affects the individual individually!!!!