honestly it feels good seeing someone talking about what millions of us feel on a daily basis, struggling to come to terms with everything, constantly comparing themselves to others... experiencing impostor syndrome, many of us will recognise ourselves in this, i know some of us will have these feelings returning soon on them, like a lot of obstacles in their daily life, questions unasnwered yet so mind bending that it breaks our minds, looking at others and seeing their value as superior, thanks for being a break from that perspective vox, me and other fur and rikkors will salute you for this, thank you
After watching the video, I can conclude that I absolutely know people who should see it. Yes, I'm writing another comment, but engagement go brrrr and I like to share my thoughts (this is gonna be long winded, so be prepared for a long comment): As I worked to the end of my 20's I grew more confident and accepting of my strengths and position in life compared to others. I used to beat myself up a lot on the basis of being inferior to others for any number of reasons, but experiences in life have helped to change that. Now that I've very recently entered my 30's, though... That marked a new chapter for my body image. For context, I've got a friend I met online a few years ago. I've grown quite close to them and I'd say they're the closest person I hold short of a partner. I've struggled with accepting my appearance for quite some time now, and if anything I held disdain for how I look and sound for all my life. In late 2023 that friend elected to be vulnerable in revealing what they look like to me, and so I chose to do the same. My true identity is a closely guarded secret, both because of my interest in security, but also my insecurity... but in that moment, I chose to open up. I took a selfie, something I rarely did because of self-image issues, and sent it. They said I looked very handsome. Hearing that from someone I trust and care for so dearly made more of an impact than I can translate into words. Anyways, that's my piece. Thanks for the video, Vox. Hope this comment wasn't too long to get through. lol If I ever run into you in VR, I owe you a very crisp high-five.
I feel happy about I saw my view of the world in this video. But in other hand i feel despair that there is so many people wich have to struggle each day with their trauma. Including me. There is so much pain and beauty in this world. Still we usually look at the flaws. I've enough of this piercing and reckless feeling. Maybe my words are not so arranged as I wanted to but they're true. And i think this is world needs. Truth.
Thank you, this video was a helpful reminder to not beat myself down as much. Even though circumstances may lead me to do so again, I can just throw this video back on, and take a breathe. Thank you
first video in a while that's genuinly brought tears to my eyes, i feel so spoken to through this. i really needed to hear something like this, between self worth issues and comparing myself physically to others this is something that really struck me in the right area, thank you
Love the video. I'm 33 and I go through pretty much everything you've talked about here. I just wanna say this first and foremost; I love and appreciate all my friends, and it genuinely makes me happy that they want to be friends with me. [I had typed like 3-4 paragraphs here, but I deleted them before commenting. Pretty much I have every insecurity, comparisonitis, imposter syndrome issue that you've talked about. I just decided posting a mini-vent about my problems wouldn't be the best.] I know I need to stop berating myself so much, and comparing myself to others, and it's oddly comforting knowing that I'm not the only one with these thoughts/problems. I need to work on some things, and reassure myself of others, and videos like this help, a lot. Thank you.
Yeah, honestly, I'll probably come back to this whenever I dip back in that bleh pit more. Even though, technically one of those dips just happened, oddly well timed, this is.
Thank you for this. Had a situation for comparisonitis yesterday. Playing gartic phone with people from my semester. Everyone's drawings looked great and were funny, mine were just always greeted with a meh or no reaction. I felt really down because of it, I never really drew before this semester. These people did it for years, some even as a side hustle. I compared myself to them even though the metaphorical mountains were in completely different stages of climbing, that I told myself afterwards in a different way to stay somewhat afloat. Thank you for making this video and just at the right time aswell and if you are reading this, thank you for your time and have a wonderful day / evening.
This video is very nice. It even opened my eyes a little. My whole life I never fit in or anyone like to spend time with me much. People seem to suspect that I am different without me telling I am different. I have High-Functioning Autism and ADHD and growing up with those disabilities have been very very painful. I never had a real friend my entire life and I am 20 years old. My whole teenage life been me stuck in my room in the dark while people my age go and have fun. I have a lot of talents and when I mention them nobody cares. I never been seen my whole life besides my family and I wish at least one person would see me and love me for who I am. Not sure if I will but I will try to be more hopefull. Again really nice video Vox. Maybe one day I can have a true friend.
I feel you man. I had the exact same issues. I had physical friends but was always awkward with them and I moved twice making visiting them again when I got more confident in myself impossible. There are zero people my age nearby my current house. If not for online communities on Discord and my supporting family, I would have gone insane from isolation. I’ve known some people on Discord for 5 years now and though we live too far away to see other in person, Ive had many sessions of games with them and shared laughs. I can more than consider at least a few of them friends.
I am in similar situation too, but the difference is that I have one real friend. But the thing is, from my experience there's a lot of bad people in the world that will take advantage of you and/or hurt you in some way, so you kind of have to be careful to who you are having business with. I used to have no one, and was so lonely that I was desperate to have friends just so I can stop the pain, it didn't go well. Now I have slight trust issues from people who have betrayed me in the past and caused me harm, the same people that I once considered as my "friends". There are good people I wont deny that, but I feel like trying to make friends is like walking through a minefield, you make one mistake and you could found yourself in pain. Not only from being with bad people but also disappointing the good ones and ruining your relationships. I cant say that I don't wish for friends or that I don't feel lonely anymore even though I've been trough lot with other people, I just wish that things are different... I really do... (I actually still have hope for better, I haven't given up yet XD )
@@Ap4thy72 I feel the same way as well. It really does feel like a minefield trying to make or find friends. Making one mistake really is a end for some people.
@@LloydIsGolden I've read your comment on video again and checked out your socials(your hobbies that you like to do) and honestly, I am surprised how you had trouble making connections with people. These hobbies are really liked on the internet, as far as I know, and some of them I enjoy too but was never really successful at doing them. Like game development, art and making music.I understand your pain of not being able to form a meaningful connection with other people because I've been there, and I just want to let you know that I can be your friend. This was kinda difficult for me to write and do here, but I felt the need to do so, I hope that you can understand.
Fantastic video, Vox! I've spent most of my life feeling fundamentally inadequate. It's only within the past ~5 years or so that I've been able to clear my head enough to understand how I got this way. My parents were decent people, but they were carrying the baggage of their own parent's insecurities. So they made mistakes, fell into some of the same negative behavioral traps that their parents did, and ended up passing some of that intergenerational pain along to the next generation. It would be easy to blame my parents for all of my emotional troubles, and just give in to the negative, but then I remember just how much of the pain they managed to shield me from. Despite their failings they were actually strong but broken people, trying their best to move forward. That's a difficult journey that we are all on together.
This video really did resonate for me and I definitely compare myself to my other people... I know I shouldn't do that but I do it anyways and it really gets me down. I'm glad you pointed it out and it helps me to know this stuff.. Thank you Vox.
Wow. I really, really love this video. I love the perspective you gave, the way you explained things, the visuals, examples, music, all of it done so beautifully on a massively important subject. It's a huge positive force in the world, and building tools for people who undoubtedly deserve it. Thank you. I hope you know how incredible this is.
I might not know you enough privately, but your Content does put a Smile on my Face, be it a Smirk, or one holding back Laughter, thanks Vox, do feel hugged!
this reminds me of a quote i made and it goes "sometimes its hard to see what others are going through and its also sometimes hard to see how your actions can effect them so be careful on how you approach them! by me texas fox 150" was made when i had a friend who was going through a hard time with their relationship
You have beautifully put in words a lot of points that hit hard with things I personally have felt, and thought, or have been going through myself. You put all three of these points in a way that I find myself welling up with emotions and tears for the reality of things put into a different perspective that yet brings about such a kind and wise way for the things I'm facing. Honestly this video was something I needed to hear even when I didn't know I needed it. I personally thank you from the bottom of my heart Vox.
This genuinely made me think and will be a wonderfully positive set of insights for many people - thank you for being one of those kind, positive forces in the world that you mentioned ❤
I thought this was going to be about a different kind of philosophy, but I was not disappointed at all. I will try to use this advice in the future, thank you.
Very well put. Good concepts on sonder while also being cognizant of ones own Graces, blessings, things they have that they can rejoice in. Comparison and how it can put a damper on our own good feelings. And then wrapping it up with the concept that there is almost aways going to be someone out there who is meant for you. Theres a plan set in motion to pair everyone with others that are meant to be around them. Funny enough these are concepts I had recently encountered with as well while going to church, and it may cause an eyeroll but I'm pretty sure that wasn't on coincidence. Same core message, same concept, slightly different delivery. And yes, we are a social existence. We are not ourselves in a bubble, and we will never be *exclusively* what we tell ourselves we are alone and self-observing in the mirror. If no one else agrees with you, or if you have to coerse that agreement out of others in order to be validated, then theres a problem, and its not an external one. Thank you again for more great content Vox.
Immediately trying to apply what I took from here, instead of thinking "There are already many comments here, all expressing what I would be able to say, but way better than I could ever hope to. Why add trash to a pile of beauty?": It took me about a whole day to just watch. It's a difficult topic (which you are strong for tackling), but it was ultimately very worth it. It's of course no magical fix for everything, but it does give me a much better understanding of why smart and skilled friends still see value in me, and that I'm not as hopeless
@@voxdracoIt did, and it still does. During suboptimal thought periods, of which there are many, I think back to here, and I'm much less harsher on myself than I used to be
I have a lot of these issues and trying to overcome them is extremely difficult. It's hard to understand how people could view me as the one being up on the pedestal compared to others but it seems to be the case at times. They tell me over and over that I'm "the fun guy" in VR because my avatars are more or less just fidget toys with a bunch of parts you can poke or stretch. I think I'm just the boring 40 year old that leans into dumb ideas to try and live up to these expectations. With few exceptions people outside of VR are a terrifying prospect, inside VR is a bit more manageable. If I don't like what's going on, I'm a couple clicks away from leaving or blocking them. Not nearly to the degree of your friend but growing up things were not great. I don't share the fear of being alone, I have the fear of why do these people want to be my friends. I was told by people that were supposed to take care of me that I was too damn stupid to ever do anything and that continued up until I moved out. I never bothered to give them my address and we rarely ever talk because why would I want to. I could never make the videos you do little dragon, but I'm glad you do.
You’re a genius Vox. Such a good vid with outstanding talking points. Tons of people need to see this vid. There’s a lot of good hearted people out there afraid of trying to make friends. Maybe this vid will help.
I think if you're comparing stuff to learn from it, comparing can be fine. That said, a lot of social media and what-not really really shoves in your face people's successes and kinda forces your brain to compare that way, which is pretty much always bad. Should always focus on your goals, and what you need to improve. Everyone lives their own life, and the experiences they've been through will make them require different tools. That said, I want to add on that comparing you to yourself can also turn into a bad habit as well. in my late 20s I often felt jealous of the unending motivation of my childhood self. Feeling as if I would never be as productive as him. I got over that after a while, because I actually thought about why this happened. Thing is when I was a kid I was non-stop miserable because I tried so hard because nothing in life felt worth it, so I was hoping success with fill that void because people kept telling me that if you just try hard everything will be fine. Later on in life I found out I was severely lacking in a lot of self-care, social skills, and various other things that should've been taught that were making life waaaaaay harder than it needed to be. Nowadays, I'm significantly more efficient with what I get done because I let myself have the time to relax, and to enjoy myself. Fun fact, suffering makes everything you do significantly more inefficient since negative emotions drain energy and even alter information to fit a negative narrative (which will likely make it feel unchangeable). So let yourself have some fun from time to time.... Just not too much fun. That's going on the opposite direction and onto the hedonic treadmill where you chase pleasures constantly as they give less joy overtime as you get addicted to them. Find that balance! A nice rule is to do at least one thing you don't want to do a day. Have some others planned out, but at least do one a day so you're making consistent. If you had severe anxiety like I used to, then start with annoying things so you'll know you'll get something done, (liiiike probably clean up a section of your room for example), then go do things that are uncomfortable, then something that sucks, and so on and so forth until you've done pretty much everything that has been bogging down your brain because you didn't want to. This is a slow process, but it does wonders (especially if you have a journal or something that reminds you of your accomplishments)....... Buuut while I have conquered a lot of things this way, when I get tired (like I am right now. With that realization I'm going to sleep after I post this lol), I sometimes fall into some old comforts.... Like making very very long comments like this. On the to-do list is to look more into how to be more concise for a variety of reasons. Also body image thing. I definitely feel that. At my heaviest I used to be 330 pounds. I'm now about 245 pounds last I checked (losing about 5 pounds a month right now). Still considered obese just barely, but still obese. I'm not super round like I used to. I might miss having the pillow that people liked to lay on, but holy crap having such a significantly healthier and stronger body with so much more energy makes life incredibly easy by comparison. So I'm going to be incredibly biased against people letting themselves be fat, because I don't want other people to suffer such a huge negativity modifier that obesity can be. Besides, exercise is very good at releasing the good feels, a way to train the brain to not be bothered by challenge (so you aren't trapped by your shrinking comfort zone. Expand it!), and when you exercise enough it's kinda funny how sometimes when you are feeling down and then look at muscles and be like "wait, those exercises were way more BS than what I'm going through now and they took so much longer to overcome. That's it, I'm finishing this thing now. I don't feel depressed anymore". (That said, don't overdo it with exercises. Good to push yourself, but not if you break yourself. Find that balance) Hope you had a fun time with this ramble :3
goddamn, this video hit me hard. yeah, no, this is GOOD QUALITY videos. honestly i felt surprised to how you were seeing yourself as i think exactly like you. I never liked being fat, and that made me think i HAD to lose wheight, even tho i'm not THAT fat to the point of danger. I can't seem to put my thoughts on words, but i think you get the point. This video helped me, thanks so much.
this was just so great (even had me in tears for a moment)but yeah we are all just good enough as long as we try our best and i do think we r all good at something but i guess everyone feels like that at least once so it's normal to happen and even i did felt like that many times but i try to be good as a person and i guess that is all that matters skills or talent or whatever are not as important we are all great and we all should believe in our selves and we will see that in the end it's going to be all ok love all and wish only good things :D
I think I get confused about why people add me. Like am I attractive? Do they find me a good fox? I was just on there playing around talking and having a good time then *friend request sound* OH! New friend? Like I'm happy but confused.
The easy voice in our ear that tells us we don't have what it takes to accomplish our goals, or that we don't have anything to offer as though inferior to anyone already around, is the voice of the Devil. The voice is alluring and often sounds like our own voice, but it's a lie. I've been through that. I don't care about being better than anyone. I've learned that being the best at what you do isn't accomplished by making sure that you're better than anyone. Being the best is for bringing other people along with me. Being the best means sacrificing to support others so we can move together. In that way, I don't have to be the best at anything. Instead, I'm the best and bringing out the best in others and myself. When I can't bring people along with me, I pray that I will one day and pray for people. Everyone has something to offer. Some are very private and are geniuses that help develop tools used by others around that seemingly solitary person. Everyone has something to offer. Everyone has something to offer. Everyone has a way to help others. In this way, everyone helps everyone. Everyone prays for one another; everyone moves forward together.
It's been pointed out I made a spelling error when I quoted a friend. Oh well!
Does make their Argument just more valid ;V
I didn't even notice because I was hanging to every word you were saying instead ❤
The responses to this video has been incredible. Thank you all so much and please take care of yourselves :)
Judging by the first minute... I think I know a few folks who could stand to watch this video.
"and she thought she was weak, w e a k." that hit me so hard
thank you so much for this
honestly it feels good seeing someone talking about what millions of us feel on a daily basis, struggling to come to terms with everything, constantly comparing themselves to others... experiencing impostor syndrome, many of us will recognise ourselves in this, i know some of us will have these feelings returning soon on them, like a lot of obstacles in their daily life, questions unasnwered yet so mind bending that it breaks our minds, looking at others and seeing their value as superior, thanks for being a break from that perspective vox, me and other fur and rikkors will salute you for this, thank you
After watching the video, I can conclude that I absolutely know people who should see it. Yes, I'm writing another comment, but engagement go brrrr and I like to share my thoughts (this is gonna be long winded, so be prepared for a long comment):
As I worked to the end of my 20's I grew more confident and accepting of my strengths and position in life compared to others. I used to beat myself up a lot on the basis of being inferior to others for any number of reasons, but experiences in life have helped to change that. Now that I've very recently entered my 30's, though... That marked a new chapter for my body image.
For context, I've got a friend I met online a few years ago. I've grown quite close to them and I'd say they're the closest person I hold short of a partner. I've struggled with accepting my appearance for quite some time now, and if anything I held disdain for how I look and sound for all my life. In late 2023 that friend elected to be vulnerable in revealing what they look like to me, and so I chose to do the same.
My true identity is a closely guarded secret, both because of my interest in security, but also my insecurity... but in that moment, I chose to open up. I took a selfie, something I rarely did because of self-image issues, and sent it. They said I looked very handsome. Hearing that from someone I trust and care for so dearly made more of an impact than I can translate into words.
Anyways, that's my piece. Thanks for the video, Vox. Hope this comment wasn't too long to get through. lol If I ever run into you in VR, I owe you a very crisp high-five.
Seeing you pop up in any commentsection always elevate them for me. Thx for your efforts. I hope your days are great.
@@Wallda_25 That's very kind of you to say! Thank you, and I wish you all the best! I hope my presence continues to bring you amusement
I feel happy about I saw my view of the world in this video. But in other hand i feel despair that there is so many people wich have to struggle each day with their trauma. Including me. There is so much pain and beauty in this world. Still we usually look at the flaws. I've enough of this piercing and reckless feeling. Maybe my words are not so arranged as I wanted to but they're true. And i think this is world needs. Truth.
Another great video my friend, very emotional and well written.
Thank you, this video was a helpful reminder to not beat myself down as much. Even though circumstances may lead me to do so again, I can just throw this video back on, and take a breathe. Thank you
Tell your friend thank you for sharing her story. Hearing about others who went threw bad childhoods helps others who had the same feel less alone
first video in a while that's genuinly brought tears to my eyes, i feel so spoken to through this. i really needed to hear something like this, between self worth issues and comparing myself physically to others this is something that really struck me in the right area, thank you
So much to unpack. So, so, so much of this hit danger close to home for me, it was knocking on the back door.
This was a really insightful video! I'm going to share it with my community because I think a lot of my friends and peers should see this.
Love the video. I'm 33 and I go through pretty much everything you've talked about here. I just wanna say this first and foremost; I love and appreciate all my friends, and it genuinely makes me happy that they want to be friends with me.
[I had typed like 3-4 paragraphs here, but I deleted them before commenting. Pretty much I have every insecurity, comparisonitis, imposter syndrome issue that you've talked about. I just decided posting a mini-vent about my problems wouldn't be the best.]
I know I need to stop berating myself so much, and comparing myself to others, and it's oddly comforting knowing that I'm not the only one with these thoughts/problems. I need to work on some things, and reassure myself of others, and videos like this help, a lot. Thank you.
Yeah, honestly, I'll probably come back to this whenever I dip back in that bleh pit more. Even though, technically one of those dips just happened, oddly well timed, this is.
Thank you for this.
Had a situation for comparisonitis yesterday.
Playing gartic phone with people from my semester.
Everyone's drawings looked great and were funny, mine were just always greeted with a meh or no reaction.
I felt really down because of it, I never really drew before this semester.
These people did it for years, some even as a side hustle.
I compared myself to them even though the metaphorical mountains were in completely different stages of climbing, that I told myself afterwards in a different way to stay somewhat afloat.
Thank you for making this video and just at the right time aswell and if you are reading this, thank you for your time and have a wonderful day / evening.
I am a 165 pound 13 year old and i DONT care how I look thank you for showing this to the people who need it
This video is very nice. It even opened my eyes a little. My whole life I never fit in or anyone like to spend time with me much. People seem to suspect that I am different without me telling I am different. I have High-Functioning Autism and ADHD and growing up with those disabilities have been very very painful. I never had a real friend my entire life and I am 20 years old. My whole teenage life been me stuck in my room in the dark while people my age go and have fun. I have a lot of talents and when I mention them nobody cares. I never been seen my whole life besides my family and I wish at least one person would see me and love me for who I am. Not sure if I will but I will try to be more hopefull. Again really nice video Vox. Maybe one day I can have a true friend.
I feel you man. I had the exact same issues. I had physical friends but was always awkward with them and I moved twice making visiting them again when I got more confident in myself impossible. There are zero people my age nearby my current house. If not for online communities on Discord and my supporting family, I would have gone insane from isolation. I’ve known some people on Discord for 5 years now and though we live too far away to see other in person, Ive had many sessions of games with them and shared laughs. I can more than consider at least a few of them friends.
I am in similar situation too, but the difference is that I have one real friend. But the thing is, from my experience there's a lot of bad people in the world that will take advantage of you and/or hurt you in some way, so you kind of have to be careful to who you are having business with. I used to have no one, and was so lonely that I was desperate to have friends just so I can stop the pain, it didn't go well. Now I have slight trust issues from people who have betrayed me in the past and caused me harm, the same people that I once considered as my "friends". There are good people I wont deny that, but I feel like trying to make friends is like walking through a minefield, you make one mistake and you could found yourself in pain. Not only from being with bad people but also disappointing the good ones and ruining your relationships. I cant say that I don't wish for friends or that I don't feel lonely anymore even though I've been trough lot with other people, I just wish that things are different... I really do... (I actually still have hope for better, I haven't given up yet XD )
@@Ap4thy72 I feel the same way as well. It really does feel like a minefield trying to make or find friends. Making one mistake really is a end for some people.
@@LloydIsGolden I've read your comment on video again and checked out your socials(your hobbies that you like to do) and honestly, I am surprised how you had trouble making connections with people. These hobbies are really liked on the internet, as far as I know, and some of them I enjoy too but was never really successful at doing them. Like game development, art and making music.I understand your pain of not being able to form a meaningful connection with other people because I've been there, and I just want to let you know that I can be your friend. This was kinda difficult for me to write and do here, but I felt the need to do so, I hope that you can understand.
Fantastic video, Vox!
I've spent most of my life feeling fundamentally inadequate. It's only within the past ~5 years or so that I've been able to clear my head enough to understand how I got this way.
My parents were decent people, but they were carrying the baggage of their own parent's insecurities. So they made mistakes, fell into some of the same negative behavioral traps that their parents did, and ended up passing some of that intergenerational pain along to the next generation.
It would be easy to blame my parents for all of my emotional troubles, and just give in to the negative, but then I remember just how much of the pain they managed to shield me from. Despite their failings they were actually strong but broken people, trying their best to move forward. That's a difficult journey that we are all on together.
Wonderful stories, thank you for sharing
Get out of my head!😵💫 Thank you for this video, it means a lot.💝
I don't want to write a novel here, so I am going to say one thing: I cried during this. Thanks Vox, this should be talked about more.
For a sudden lack of profound words I can only exclaim: THIS!!!!!
Thank you! ❤
This video really did resonate for me and I definitely compare myself to my other people... I know I shouldn't do that but I do it anyways and it really gets me down. I'm glad you pointed it out and it helps me to know this stuff.. Thank you Vox.
Wow. I really, really love this video. I love the perspective you gave, the way you explained things, the visuals, examples, music, all of it done so beautifully on a massively important subject. It's a huge positive force in the world, and building tools for people who undoubtedly deserve it. Thank you. I hope you know how incredible this is.
Been going through some hard times lately, mainly struggling socially and gosh, I really needed this video, wonderful work as always Vox.
I might not know you enough privately, but your Content does put a Smile on my Face, be it a Smirk, or one holding back Laughter, thanks Vox, do feel hugged!
this reminds me of a quote i made and it goes "sometimes its hard to see what others are going through and its also sometimes hard to see how your actions can effect them so be careful on how you approach them! by me texas fox 150" was made when i had a friend who was going through a hard time with their relationship
This content keeps getting better and more wholesome and productive
this video hits hard because i do the whole comparing myself to others but after seeing this i want to try to stop that and see myself as i really am
You have beautifully put in words a lot of points that hit hard with things I personally have felt, and thought, or have been going through myself. You put all three of these points in a way that I find myself welling up with emotions and tears for the reality of things put into a different perspective that yet brings about such a kind and wise way for the things I'm facing. Honestly this video was something I needed to hear even when I didn't know I needed it. I personally thank you from the bottom of my heart Vox.
This genuinely made me think and will be a wonderfully positive set of insights for many people - thank you for being one of those kind, positive forces in the world that you mentioned ❤
You said some meaningful things, and I feel like they are gonna help me improve and feel more at ease with myself.
Thank you for this video 😊
Always wise words to listen to. Thanks again for posting this content. It is no doubt helpful to many ♥
dang it i put this on to work on stuff and ended up melting, this is a damn good message and brilliantly made
I thought this was going to be about a different kind of philosophy, but I was not disappointed at all. I will try to use this advice in the future, thank you.
Very well put. Good concepts on sonder while also being cognizant of ones own Graces, blessings, things they have that they can rejoice in.
Comparison and how it can put a damper on our own good feelings. And then wrapping it up with the concept that there is almost aways going to be someone out there who is meant for you. Theres a plan set in motion to pair everyone with others that are meant to be around them.
Funny enough these are concepts I had recently encountered with as well while going to church, and it may cause an eyeroll but I'm pretty sure that wasn't on coincidence. Same core message, same concept, slightly different delivery.
And yes, we are a social existence. We are not ourselves in a bubble, and we will never be *exclusively* what we tell ourselves we are alone and self-observing in the mirror. If no one else agrees with you, or if you have to coerse that agreement out of others in order to be validated, then theres a problem, and its not an external one.
Thank you again for more great content Vox.
Immediately trying to apply what I took from here, instead of thinking "There are already many comments here, all expressing what I would be able to say, but way better than I could ever hope to. Why add trash to a pile of beauty?":
It took me about a whole day to just watch. It's a difficult topic (which you are strong for tackling), but it was ultimately very worth it. It's of course no magical fix for everything, but it does give me a much better understanding of why smart and skilled friends still see value in me, and that I'm not as hopeless
I am really glad it helped your perspectives on how you view yourself.
@@voxdracoIt did, and it still does. During suboptimal thought periods, of which there are many, I think back to here, and I'm much less harsher on myself than I used to be
I have a lot of these issues and trying to overcome them is extremely difficult. It's hard to understand how people could view me as the one being up on the pedestal compared to others but it seems to be the case at times. They tell me over and over that I'm "the fun guy" in VR because my avatars are more or less just fidget toys with a bunch of parts you can poke or stretch. I think I'm just the boring 40 year old that leans into dumb ideas to try and live up to these expectations. With few exceptions people outside of VR are a terrifying prospect, inside VR is a bit more manageable. If I don't like what's going on, I'm a couple clicks away from leaving or blocking them.
Not nearly to the degree of your friend but growing up things were not great. I don't share the fear of being alone, I have the fear of why do these people want to be my friends. I was told by people that were supposed to take care of me that I was too damn stupid to ever do anything and that continued up until I moved out. I never bothered to give them my address and we rarely ever talk because why would I want to.
I could never make the videos you do little dragon, but I'm glad you do.
Thank you for those words.
You’re a genius Vox. Such a good vid with outstanding talking points. Tons of people need to see this vid. There’s a lot of good hearted people out there afraid of trying to make friends. Maybe this vid will help.
It took everything I had to get through this video without crying. Thank you for everything you do.
Fantastic video, thanx for making and sharing it!
hampster made video about tough topic, but is all very true what hampster said
I think if you're comparing stuff to learn from it, comparing can be fine. That said, a lot of social media and what-not really really shoves in your face people's successes and kinda forces your brain to compare that way, which is pretty much always bad. Should always focus on your goals, and what you need to improve. Everyone lives their own life, and the experiences they've been through will make them require different tools.
That said, I want to add on that comparing you to yourself can also turn into a bad habit as well. in my late 20s I often felt jealous of the unending motivation of my childhood self. Feeling as if I would never be as productive as him. I got over that after a while, because I actually thought about why this happened. Thing is when I was a kid I was non-stop miserable because I tried so hard because nothing in life felt worth it, so I was hoping success with fill that void because people kept telling me that if you just try hard everything will be fine. Later on in life I found out I was severely lacking in a lot of self-care, social skills, and various other things that should've been taught that were making life waaaaaay harder than it needed to be. Nowadays, I'm significantly more efficient with what I get done because I let myself have the time to relax, and to enjoy myself. Fun fact, suffering makes everything you do significantly more inefficient since negative emotions drain energy and even alter information to fit a negative narrative (which will likely make it feel unchangeable). So let yourself have some fun from time to time.... Just not too much fun. That's going on the opposite direction and onto the hedonic treadmill where you chase pleasures constantly as they give less joy overtime as you get addicted to them. Find that balance! A nice rule is to do at least one thing you don't want to do a day. Have some others planned out, but at least do one a day so you're making consistent. If you had severe anxiety like I used to, then start with annoying things so you'll know you'll get something done, (liiiike probably clean up a section of your room for example), then go do things that are uncomfortable, then something that sucks, and so on and so forth until you've done pretty much everything that has been bogging down your brain because you didn't want to. This is a slow process, but it does wonders (especially if you have a journal or something that reminds you of your accomplishments)....... Buuut while I have conquered a lot of things this way, when I get tired (like I am right now. With that realization I'm going to sleep after I post this lol), I sometimes fall into some old comforts.... Like making very very long comments like this. On the to-do list is to look more into how to be more concise for a variety of reasons.
Also body image thing. I definitely feel that. At my heaviest I used to be 330 pounds. I'm now about 245 pounds last I checked (losing about 5 pounds a month right now). Still considered obese just barely, but still obese. I'm not super round like I used to. I might miss having the pillow that people liked to lay on, but holy crap having such a significantly healthier and stronger body with so much more energy makes life incredibly easy by comparison. So I'm going to be incredibly biased against people letting themselves be fat, because I don't want other people to suffer such a huge negativity modifier that obesity can be. Besides, exercise is very good at releasing the good feels, a way to train the brain to not be bothered by challenge (so you aren't trapped by your shrinking comfort zone. Expand it!), and when you exercise enough it's kinda funny how sometimes when you are feeling down and then look at muscles and be like "wait, those exercises were way more BS than what I'm going through now and they took so much longer to overcome. That's it, I'm finishing this thing now. I don't feel depressed anymore". (That said, don't overdo it with exercises. Good to push yourself, but not if you break yourself. Find that balance)
Hope you had a fun time with this ramble :3
Great video. Awesome info. Thanks
Thank you, thank you so much. This video is absolutely beautiful, it made me think a lot about how I see myself and others.
Such an amazing video ❤
It indeed helps, immensely, Vox. Thank you!
I’m so darn sick, with extreme nausea. Your voice is very soothing. Thank you. I cried for the first time in far too long.
I hope you feel better soon
goddamn, this video hit me hard.
yeah, no, this is GOOD QUALITY videos.
honestly i felt surprised to how you were seeing yourself as i think exactly like you.
I never liked being fat, and that made me think i HAD to lose wheight, even tho i'm not THAT fat to the point of danger.
I can't seem to put my thoughts on words, but i think you get the point.
This video helped me, thanks so much.
Thats an amazing video. I struggle with the last one but your totally right. Keep up the good work I love your videos!
3:57 I like how you look confused as you said that XD
this was just so great (even had me in tears for a moment)but yeah we are all just good enough as long as we try our best and i do think we r all good at something but i guess everyone feels like that at least once so it's normal to happen and even i did felt like that many times but i try to be good as a person and i guess that is all that matters skills or talent or whatever are not as important we are all great and we all should believe in our selves and we will see that in the end it's going to be all ok love all and wish only good things :D
thx for the video. You are inspiring.
What a great video!
didn't think i needed to see this today but thank you for this video it helped.
Really nice video
🍀
I think I get confused about why people add me. Like am I attractive? Do they find me a good fox? I was just on there playing around talking and having a good time then *friend request sound* OH! New friend? Like I'm happy but confused.
hey what is the name of this map you used with the space theme throughout the video? it looks really cool!
17:58 WOW! MAJOR RED FLAG! DON'T DO ANY OF THAT! That's just rude, inconsiderate and wrong.
The easy voice in our ear that tells us we don't have what it takes to accomplish our goals, or that we don't have anything to offer as though inferior to anyone already around, is the voice of the Devil. The voice is alluring and often sounds like our own voice, but it's a lie. I've been through that. I don't care about being better than anyone. I've learned that being the best at what you do isn't accomplished by making sure that you're better than anyone. Being the best is for bringing other people along with me. Being the best means sacrificing to support others so we can move together. In that way, I don't have to be the best at anything. Instead, I'm the best and bringing out the best in others and myself. When I can't bring people along with me, I pray that I will one day and pray for people.
Everyone has something to offer. Some are very private and are geniuses that help develop tools used by others around that seemingly solitary person. Everyone has something to offer. Everyone has something to offer. Everyone has a way to help others.
In this way, everyone helps everyone. Everyone prays for one another; everyone moves forward together.
《💗♧🇪🇪⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐🇪🇪♧💗》
Very lovely video