Douglas Adams on Richard Dawkins' Growing Up In The Universe (1991)

episode 4, the ultraviolet garden, from growing up in the universe.
"A large dairy animal approached Zaphod Beeblebrox's table, a meaty bovine quadruped with watery eyes, small horns, and an ingratiating smile on its lips.
"Good evening", it lowed and sat back heavily on its haunches, "I am the main dish of the day. May I interest you in parts of my body?"
Its gazes met by looks of startled bewilderment by Arthur, and naked hunger from Zaphod Beeblebrox. "Something of the shoulder perhaps?" suggested the animal, "Brazed in a white wine sauce?" Er, your shoulder?", said Arthur in a horrified whisper.
"But naturally my shoulder, sir", mooed the animal contentedly, "nobody else's is mine to offer." Zaphod leapt to his feet and started prodding and feeling the animal's shoulder appreciatively.
"Or the rump is very good", murmured the animal, "I've been exercising it and eating plenty of grain, so there's a lot of good meat there." "You mean this animal actually wants us to eat it?" exclaimed Arthur. "That's absolutely horrible! It's the most revolting thing I ever heard."
"What's the problem, Earth-man?" said Zaphod. "I ... I just don't want to eat an animal standing there inviting me to," said Arthur. "It's heartless." "Better than eating an animal that doesn't want to be eaten?" said Zaphod. "But that's not the point", protested Arthur.
Then he thought about it for a moment. "Alright", he said, "maybe it is the point. I don't care. I don't want to think about it now. I just, er, I'll just, ... I'll just have a green salad." "May I urge you to consider my liver?" asked the animal, "It must be very rich and tender by now; I've been force-feeding myself for months."
"A green salad", said Arthur firmly. The animal looked at him disapprovingly. "Are you going to tell me", snapped Arthur, "that I shouldn't have a green salad?"
"Well", said the animal, "I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point. Which is why it was eventually decided to cut through the whole tangled problem and breed an animal that actually wanted to be eaten, and was capable of saying so clearly and unambiguously. And here I am."
"Glass of water please", said Arthur. "Look, are we hungry or not?", snapped Zaphod. "We'll just have four steaks, please, very, very rare. And quickly". The animal staggered to its feet.
"A very wise choice, sir, if I may say so. Very good," it said with a mellow gurgle, "I'll just nip off and shoot myself." He turned and gave a friendly wink to Arthur. "Don't worry sir", he said, "I'll be very humane."
"we need to try to see things through the eyes of other creatures, instead of all the time through our own self-interested eyes"
GO VEGAN!

[@paintingwithacoustic]

I love your picture of the Wumps World.

[@Honey-zd8el]

The two coolest white guys of my youth. My brain would be different if they did not exist❤

[@gesundeshalbwissen]

Go vegan?
Well, I know many vegetables that are very clear on that point.;-)