Reflecting On My Trans Relationship Changes And Life In General
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- čas přidán 5. 06. 2015
- An Update regarding my partners Drew's gender transition (FTM) and my coming to terms with it. Im also reflecting a lot on life in general and in this vlog I discuss the many life changes I appear to be going through right now!
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Love this video. Your response to this situation is just so real and human and it's great to document!
TheRealAlexBertie thanks so very much Alex :)
Only the strongest kinds of souls could go through this kind of path with so many crazy obstacles and plot twists thrown in there. You do some amazing soul work. Also, listening to your gerbils cracks me up. They sound like an office full of typists.
Thanks for the update! It's so interesting to hear your thoughts about Drew, exercising, etc.
TheSLOfox cheers mate! I have lots of random thoughts....more vids coming soon!
Missed you muchly sir, youtube was getting soooo boring i believe I was the first to watch your update, love your ramblings and updates, glad to hear your feeling good, i look forward to your thoughts on weights, as you know I'm obsessed, i also wondered when we would hear from drew can't wait for that, have fun at pride..tony
T.Chakotay Booooom! And hes first in! haha! Lovely to be missed :) :) Yes, I will update re weights soon, Im finding that my obsession is lessening! Bloody wicked to meet you buddy!!!!!
Good to see you Finn, you're looking good. Hope everything continues to go as you want it. Take care of yourself! Have fun at Pride too!
EthanJay1261 Thank you so much Ethan, hope things are good?
My partner just recently came out as well, and I'm finding it hard to get used to calling him by the right pronouns and even his name. It makes me realize how hard it must have been for everyone else when I came out. It's a totally switch of thinking and reacting and thinking about my emotions towards it.
I love him and I am fully supportive, but it's still sometimes hard to get used to. It's nice to know that I'm not the only one going through it. Thank you so much for your videos. They help a lot.
Chase Benjamin hi Chase, so good to hear from other partners who are double transitioning. It is hard isnt it! And I think its actually harder because we feel guilty, (or at least I do!) for finding it difficult as I already put Drew through this so I feel I have no right to complain! I know thats not true though, and Drew knows that too. Its a day at a time process. Good luck my friend, stay in touch, would be good to have someone to share this with
Right?! You feel so guilty for almost having a harder time then they did! It's crazy. But it also makes you appreciate them more, I think. We've got this. As long as we're honest and let ourselves grieve or deal with our emotions, we'll be okay.
Chase Benjamin absolutely agree with that my friend! And yes, open honest talking is the only way through this.
What you said at the 12.00 mark just proves what an absolute gentleman and all round incredible human being you are, because instead of wallowing in the adversity you currently face, you see these wonderful parallels between yours and Drew's journey's. That's what makes a man, imo, not choosing running or weights over swimming and yoga! :D
So lovely of you, thank you. This is hard, but I've learned to be able to acknowledge difficulty whilst at the same time focusing on how it can be used positively. It's not an easy task at times but it gets you further than wallowing ever will!
love your videos! Also your gerbils chewing sound like little typewriters, it's adorable.
Aren't they funny! I like to watch my vids back and see what they were up to behind me!
You look great! Glad to hear that things are going well for you and Drew. Always glad to see your gerbils...My gerbil passed away the previous week (so weird not to hear her chewing up stuff in the middle of the night).
RadioWaco Im so very sorry to hear that, its so hard to say goodbye to them, such tiny souls but they bring so much joy.
Oh noooo I missed pride!!! Could have come, too! Maybe next year. Good to see you Sir. Loving that beard. :-)
Rockin' UK ah shame!!!!!!!! Need a good catch up! Cheers for the beard love! :)
You are such an honest person thanks for your videos!
Basilia Vega Gomez thank you so much! You have an awesome surname...I would say that...as mine is Games :)
I know this can't be easy for you or drew but you both will face this journey head on together and maybe this is just how it was all supposed to be.Just breath and remember that no one can define who you truly are but you.Life is full of many paths,right now this journey may seem difficult and sometimes confusing but you are not alone here,you and drew have a'lot of people on here who support you both and care about you both.xxxx
Moonstone Wolf Thank you so much, both of us feel that support, its incredible and we are both so grateful. I do think we we destined to do this together!
I love that you can just go ahead and be so real about everything. It is terribly helpful that you manage to get all the stuff into a vlog and help us all out with sharing those "random" thoughts. I think of many of these things and don't manage to round them up long enough to express them much. In any case, if my wife decided that they were needing to transition I would be in much of the same spot you describe. I would likely find that although I am nowhere near being a gay man I would suddenly have a man for a wife. I would not want to have shopping girl friends because of it, I do not like to shop. It is just an odd situation because the wrong label is coming at you from the other side now. How does Drew view it on his end? Not that he necessarily has had a chance to process it yet with transition to move towards. Somehow I fig there' got to be another way to frame this for folks so they can manage it and you can manage their response. No solid ideas to offer as of yet, sorry! I do also appreciate your share on the exercise approach as I have been struggling with it as well, and it is encouraging to have another fellow's input on the matter. I think part of the issue is being a bit of an older guy, my muscles just do not respond in the bulging way I'd prefer, and often give spasms and strains instead. I hadn't wanted to be in some of the core classes at the gym because there's only women in there, and it's just not what I had pictured for myself. I believe I shall reconsider all my options and see what will actually work best for some better health results. Thanks much and all our best to you, George
GVHAK So lovely to hear from you George and thank you for your thoughts and kind words. I am finding it very hard to have a man for a partner! Not so much the gender but the presumptions that come with it...I am not suddenly good at fashion and shopping!!!! Drew is seeing it and is sensitive to it but I think it wont hit him fully till further along the line. We are both trying to deal and process as best we can. We work hard because there is love there, that hasnt gone, if it does we will part with no ill feeling but neither of us have a desire to leave. This does feel like something that will be sorted once we are able to make sense and frame it as you wisely say. That is the exact issue at the moment, making sure people continue to see us for who we are, we have both worked hard to be seen correctly in terms of our identity and so we dont want that taken away. Its a work in progress and will change again once he starts hormones and again when I have lower surgery!!!
Re the gym, yep! I have to remember I am 40....there is no magic...no matter how much I lift...that will make my body respond the way a 20yr olds would! In fact all im doing is injuring myself! I am coming to accept that my body is not one that like to doing hard impact work. I am now loving swimming and getting a lot of fantastic upper body definition from it and I have simply fallen in love with yoga! Its not what I pictured for myself either but I feel so much better for it! Im going to do a vid about this soon. So many vids...so little time...!
All the best to you too my friend
Were you a decent swimmer before HRT? I was alright, as I'd not learned to swim properly until I was 33 years old. Now I find I practically have to re-learn it as I'd not swam in the last couple years and my body fat redistribution - which I wouldn't trade back of course - but it doesn't so easily keep be afloat as it used to -Ha! I do want to thank both you and Drew for sharing your ongoing journey as it is with us and the encouragement that all of it brings. I do believe were my non-binary wife decide to transition we would be doing the same as you and Drew: figuring it out along the way. I would worry that folks didn't understand, just like before my HRT, and I imagine many of them wouldn't. It's only as we go along, visible and open like you guys are here, that folks can begin to understand life is not as simple as it's made out to be. Oh no, it's entirely more interesting than that.
GVHAK That is so true! Life is so beutifully and interestingly complicated! I love that our sharing is so well recieved because I love sharing and the rewards it gives me. Figuring all this stuff out "live" and having feedback, really does help so much. peoples relating to our story, wise words about the situation and so forth, have greatly enriched my journey. I love youtube for this! As for swimming....I never swam before, well nothing more than a splash in a pool on holiday, and exactly as you say, with all the bits moved around learning my bodies boyancy has been interesting to say the least! I dont so much swim...its more like stopping myself drowning!!! Its not pretty thats for sure! I love it though and I feel the healthiest i have felt in a long time! george thank you so much for your always insightful and kind comments. Really does mean the world to me
FinnTheInfinncible So encouraging "keep myself from drowning!" does seem like good exercise. I am inspired to get in the pool regardless now. It must be quite a workout if you are noticing better definition. I have also returned to yoga, thank you sir.
GVHAK my pleasure! seriously, I love it! Its so wonderful feeling the water on my bare chest, it feels like heaven and less like exercise! But absolutely works me hard! Yoga is just great isnt it! Hatha is my favorite so far, ashtanga was a bit instense! Also doing pilates, love that too!
Seems like you are doing well. ... I can relate to a lot of what you say. ... And your awkward feeling about being labelled as gay seem natural. But who needs labels anyway? You are who you are and you love who you love. Seems legit enough to me. :)
Sheldon K I completely agree! I just want the rest of the world to catch up....a lable free world would be wonderful!
That it would :)
Just bouncing about your posts over lunch :-) Where are you at with 'being a gay man'? Sorry, maybe it's too much of a big question/you are lining it up for another video/it doesn't matter anymore/it's all gone a bit pangender. (Ooh... I'm putting that last one on a t-shirt!) I'm interested to know.
*goes away to note down t-shirt idea.
+Ethan James Hi my friend. It has all gone a bit pangender!!! Im still making sense of it all, Drew and I are doing well but my academic brain cntinues to mull over the complexities of it all! Ive now done lots of vids at to where I am with being "gay" here is a link to the playlist! czcams.com/play/PL-xdbMjLqelKo_FouwCtR-Y_BpZB4A9dl.html