Parents Promised to Pay for My College but Spent the College Fund on a Vacation Home Instead...
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- čas přidán 12. 05. 2024
- Parents Promised to Pay for My College but Spent the College Fund on a Vacation Home Instead, So I Ran Away From Home & Went No Contact Until I Heard This News From My Dad.
#redditrelationship #redditupdate
The hypocrisy of the parents saying op only cared about money but they blew their sons college fund on a vacation home.
exactly, I was thinking the same thing
Yeah they were absolutely projecting
Exactly what I was thinking
Exactly, this was my first thought when I heard that
Given they were calling a vacation home they'd only owned for a couple of months, sentimental. I am pretty sure there is more to the story that the OP is not sharing, ie a recently deceased grandparent of the OP's at the time the OP was in his last year of highschool who had previously owned the house. There is definitely some information missing, as there are lots of little details that explanations could change my opinion on, especially as it feels the OP is intentionally leaving the information out, suggesting they believe that given the whole story fewer people would be on their side.
Either ways, the parents should have communicated with their child long before they did about what was going on, and let him know there was no longer a college fund. They also should not have shared the information with him on his birthday. They are idiots for both of those things, but I'm personally withholding judgment on whether the parents were being hypocritical because I'm 98% sure the OP has intentionally left out important information.
People in the comments aren’t understanding why he’s upset. He upset because they didn’t tell him in advance that they wouldn’t pay for his college. When you tell someone you’re going to pay for someone’s college for their whole life, you should really tell them a good few months in advance so they can prepare properly, that’s where OP’s parents messed up. OP is not spoiled in my opinion, OP’s parents messed up and refused to admit it.
Life doesn’t always go according to plan, if you can’t handle curve balls, you’re gonna be a failure in life
@@denniscebolinha1451 OP handled it though. He handled it by making a conscious choice to leave, he was also freshly 18, not a fully grown adult. He’s clearly done well in life despite what his parents did so what’s your point?
@denniscebolinha1451 you’re missing the point. It’s not that “life throws curveballs” or whatever bs you think it is, it’s that his parents didn’t tell him about his college fund being spent. They knew for months, and didn’t tell him. That’s fucked up
@denniscebolinha1451 but op parents promised for years that they would pay
like someone say in reponse about op being spoil or not ... he don't choose to be spoil anyway, it's how he was raise ...
and they let him dry a 18 because they choose their lifestyle and not their son ...
they empty the college fund to buy a hollyday house what ? 6 month before graduation ? sorry they trully were think they could have enought money on 6 month ?
OPs anger isnt about money, its about honesty.
... Parkinson's can be passed down. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T THEY IMMEDIATELY TELL HIM REGARDLESS OF FEELINGS!?
That's only relevant if there is a cure or vaccine, which afaik there is not ...
@@brag0001 Some people know and choose not to have kids because they don't want to risk them having it. And then there is the being prepared and watchful. So if OP has it they know what to watch out for instead of wondering what's going on and wasting time shooting in the dark for potentially years before a doctor finally figures it out.
Really my dad had Parkinson's and no one in his family had it the only thing he passes down is heart problems
@@jamiepetersen6153 it's a 50/50 shot if one of your parents has it, though. Everyone else in your family just got lucky, but that doesn't mean that everyone won't get it. It's irresponsible to not tell your children of a genetic disease they could potentially have that will severely impact their quality of life.
@@Samhasdibs my dad didn't know he had Parkinson's until 2012 and he only got it because he had a bike accident at 19 it was dormant until 43 years later
"This stuff has sentimental value" there's no way you could place any sentimental value on a vacation home you've never even been to.
Apparently a few months of sentimental value is more worth than their own son too 🤦♀️ The bs reasoning these parents have.
@@iricrescent2901 Apparently being told no more free hand outs in a single short altercation cancels out 18 years of love, care, financial and emotional support the parents clearly provided by his own story.
The BS reasoning these entitled parasitic brats have.
His parents should have reached out when the mom was diagnosed with Parkinson's so he could get tested before having kids. That was really selfish of them.
Not as selfish as choosing a vacation home over their own son
I mean they've demonstrated their selfishness is literally their only personality trait
OP is not entitled. He was promised something. His parents knew about their financial issues, and made him apply to schools, miss scholarship due dates, and accept a school, and would have never qualified for financial assistance because his parents made too much and were selfish. If it was not for the girlfriend OP would have been screwed. I would have never spoken to my parents again! What they did was evil. I hope OP has strong boundaries with his parents if reconciliation is actually happening. I wouldn't be surprised if the father was behind this and the mother was upset about all of this occurring.
None of what you said happen, op didn’t apply to anything becaseu he expected parents to pay for everything, parents never said or made him do anything, op also never asked parents if they could co-sign a loan, he just assumed they wouldn’t do it
@@denniscebolinha1451It wasn't expectations. It was simply said that his parents mentioned that he didnot have to worry about money and they promised to pay for the school fees. And like OP mentioned, if they have informed him earlier, he might be able to do something about it. They waited till a couple of weeks before starting school to let him k ow that they are not going to pay for fees, which is a big F-U to the OP. If they had issues with the business, they should have sold the vacation home first. Once the house is sold, if the parents were to inform him that they would not pay as they had to sell assets to make ends meet, i am sure that OP wkuld not be that pissed.
@@denniscebolinha1451 OP literally said that he had college in a few weeks and on his 18th birthday his parents told him about the money. He already applied, got in, and accepted, as he only stayed a few weeks with his in-laws back then. He also knew his parents could not afford a loan with their financial system and this story sounds like it is based in America so he would not even qualify for financial aid and loans because of his parent's income from previous years.
@@adamlake6215 just like you OP assumed they wouldn’t/couldn’t sign the loan, he never asked. Parents had a vacation home they could afford to maintain(having a 2nd house is cheaper than college) so you’re assuming they didn’t had credit, the only think we know for a fact is that father said he is not comfortable fronting college expenses. Also you can Apply for federal student loans that does not need to co-signer, granted that they won’t loan to anyone that asks, something that op didn’t even tried before throwing a tantrum. Also 5min google search shows that there are a limited number of private lenders who offer student loans without a co-signer exist
@@denniscebolinha1451 he also said that his parents verbalized promises of paying for his college tuition to him for a very long time.
And that he wasn’t told until his 18th birthday just WEEKS before college starts
His parents knew for MONTHS, that they couldn’t pay and NOT ONCE did they tell him, UNTIL THE VERY LAST MOMENT.
His parents kept promising to pay for his college tuition.
People don’t understand the lying and picking material goods over a son
OP himself blatantly said he wasn't mad about them not being able to pay for his college. It was the fact they chose some vacation home over keeping their promise to him and KNOWING they weren't going to help but said nothing until the very last minute. Then when he rightfully got upset they had the GALL to call HIM selfish and materialistic.
Why should he have to apologize to keep the peace when THEY screwed him over so royally? Massively unfair.
Also the parents refusing to call and tell OP his mom has Parkinsons until YEARS later is insane. They're STILL keeping important info from their son that he should know.
NTA. The parents made a promise and the reason they gave behind breaking it is totally unreasonable. Seriously, vacation home over paying your kid's college!?! The could help but they didn't want to. There is a difference. That's not being spoiled.
I'm on OP side. Not having the money is one thing, but waiting until the very last second to say you don't have the money is another. I wonder if his wife would be so forgiving if this happened to her?
Why can’t he get a student loan? Like 85% of all college students
@@denniscebolinha1451 why have they spent all the money from his collage fund for a vacation house? they could booked a place instead like 90% of adults that can afford vacation.
@denniscebolinha1451 he explained that with his parents needing to sign off on it and ofc he’s not speaking to them. I don’t 100% get it either
@@denniscebolinha1451 it hard for students to pay off their loan
@@denniscebolinha1451 OP mentioned that their parents would need to sign off on the loan, which from what he said, the parents would not be really willing to do.
Your in laws are actual legends and must be protected at all cost.
Waiting until the last moment to tell OP that they were reneging on their promise. That's like having a rug pulled out from under you. Then telling him they bought a house with his college fund. To top it off they considered their vacation home in Mexico (which OP never got to go to) to be a priority over OP's future. Then being mad at OP for being pissed off at them. What Hubris. His parents are horrible people. OP's in laws are heros in all of this. I feel OP is justified in having no contact with them for as long as he did.
parents? op only has his in-laws in my eyes his egg donor and sperm donor imo can rot in hell....
As usual the victim has to be the bigger person while the people that lied and hid stuff got away with no consequences.
I never understood the argument 'at the end of the day, they are still your parents' as a way to imply that it should play a factor in forgiving shitty behaviour on their part.
Wspwcialy on that situation parkinsons is highly genetic and your supost to tell your kids if u get it because they will likely have it in later life and any kids they have
Tbh... It's not that hard to realize that they effed up so bad to prioritize a VACATION HOME over their promises.
They can even take a loan and rent the vacation home to pay the loan.
Parents can be whatever successful they want, but they are really stupid and decided to instead of thinking about solutions, they decided to betray op.
They have a lot of sentimental value in the home they bought a few months ago and have no mention of visiting. Just remember that it's probably an AI story.
OP did not ask for a loan, he just assumed they wouldn’t agree
@@denniscebolinha1451 because OP was an entitled idiot.
@@sugarbeefthe fact it most likely takes place in America proves it false. Because OP wouldn’t have qualified for financial aid
ur parents went thru a midlife crisis and took them a decade to realize they were being too egoistic
People who say OP is spoiled - wth, do you have any empathy? It's not about the money, It's about being betrayed and discovering that your parents are willing to sacrifice your future for some property. Having your world turned upside-down, in one of the most stressful and uncertain moments in your life by the people who were supposed to love you and do anything for you would be devastating to anybody. Especially after thinking they had a good relationship with their parents.
So Op is justified in never forgiving their parents? Even after they did take very good care of him until college
@@MrArielK So the parents are justified in saying he can get the fuck away and never reaching out to their son ? They could have fixed all this by saying they're sorry, just the same way he could.
@@raf99bub you do know what you said can be said about the son, he didn’t reach out to them, he also held the believe that he didn’t do anything wrong, different sides of the same coin, expect that the parent did take care of him until he was 18
@@MrArielK Not only it can be said about the son, but I said it. "Just the same way he could". But he didn't lie to them for months on an urgent and very important matter.
Because they were legally required to do that until he was 18😂 @@MrArielK
The parents threw away their child's future for an extra house? Yeah, no way I'd ever reconcile.
Can’t wait for the follow up dinner where they need son’s kidney
fr
"So... how's holiday home doing?"
Would be my greetings.
“Bc, at the end of the day, they are still my parents”. You mean “at the end of 10 years, they are still my parents”💀💀💀
Not in the mean way! Not tryna be mean
If he had known upfront that a vacation home was more important than their promise of a college education he could have worked all through high school. His parents suck.
Im nore on OP's side. His parents promised that he had a college fund and a fe months before it was time to put it to use, they spend ut on a vacation home. Then they get upset at OP for wanting to be told about it and for wanting the money that had been promised his entire life.
This is one of the most WTF Reddit post I've heard in a while. His parents chose a vacation home over him and somehow he's decides bygones?
This story not on reddit
The point of this story is OP’s parents messed up. They put material things ahead of their son. The materials mattered more than their son’s future. They should have at least offered to help Op find alternatives to funding his education. They hit him at the last moment with this news which was irresponsible of him. He isn’t a brat he is a child whose parents are acting selfish when he calls them out. The parents also never offered to help OP with expenses just left him high and dry.
This whole family is suffering because the father ego. Learn how to lower yours sometimes, guys.
Everyone in ops life not understanding his feelings and rugsweeping his problems
Seems as though they find estate properties worth investing on rather than education. Seeking independence can somehow lead you to have more opportunities along the way.
I'd never talk to them again. They lied and broke your trust and then they doubled down. Fuck them. Life is way too short to waste time on shit people.
Parents didn’t owe the kid any money but the parents are wrong for promising they’ve got him covered, and not fulfilling that promise, leading to lack of preparation for the kid. They messed him around.
The fuck u mean they don't owe him any money????
Parents owe kids an education regardless wtf
@@datboy1628 In my country, parents are responsible for you up until the age of 26 if you're getting your education. You earn every penny for that help...
@datboy1628 kid aren’t entitled to their parents money, Yh parents should educate their kids but they don’t owe the kid any money, in this case they messed their kid around by not fulfilling their promise but no one’s entitled to having their college education paid for them by their parents. If the parents pay for it that’s cool, if not then the kids gotta make a plan.
But they do owe him info that parkinsons is in the family thats a genetic disorder. It passes down if somone has parkinsons their kids likely develop symptoms inxlater life
The OP has no right. Something was promised to him. His parents forced him to apply to colleges, miss scholarship deadlines, and pick a school even though they knew about their financial difficulties. Because they were self-centered and made too much money, he would never have been eligible for financial aid. The person would have faced dire consequences if not for their partner. I never would have communicated with my parents again! They committed a wicked act. If there is true reconciliation, I hope OP maintains firm boundaries with his parents. If the mother was furious that this was all happening and the father was the one behind it, then I wouldn't be shocked. 🤯🙁
This why I truly belive materialistic love, some anger a pinch of ego make a deadly combination they together made you lose what truly is important. In this just bit of ego and love for materialistic things tore a lovely family apart.
18-year-olds don't run away from home, they leave it.
In my "book of life" I believe in the house of betrayal there's no room for forgiveness.
Son is right in the beginning but the wife is definitely right about the later part.
Now you know OP that your in laws made your future life difficult, they have raised the bar of what kind of father you should be, they taught you how to be kind and loving and all, you should keep up to their expectations, love them, honor them not just for being your wife's parents or your son's grandparents, but also because they were your parents too and more important they were with you when you needed help the most, so always remember to take care of them not because you owm them something, but because you love them, they earn it with their actions.
Kinda glad OP was willing to admit, that he was a stubborn one as well, usually these stories only have the parents as the villains and OP as the victim.
I’m glad the OP got an apology and closure, but not all of us get that! Especially when you want to let go of all the hurt and but can’t!!!
At least this isn't another story of OP losing his girlfriend from cheating while his parents did those bad things.
Hold on one minute, your parents were mad at you saying all you cared about was money and yet they had holiday home that they could have sold off but they're very attached to it. They're not attached to the relationship with you, they're not worried about letting you down, and even though they have a perfect house that they live in now, they're just too attached to the other house that they're only there every now and then for holidays. That you didn't even know about. So your parents are assholes not you
They pretty much told you you're not worth the Holiday House in Cabo. That's pretty ruthless.
Would never reach out to them... Those are parents I wouldn't want in my life
I like happy endings to these kind of stories
Every time I hear ‘ran away’ about an 18 year old makes me think a whole lot was left out of the story and I can’t take it seriously AT ALL 😂
My eyes rolled so hard about all this, i regret listening to it
So OP was told for his whole life "don't worry about college we got you" to then be told "hey so we don't have money anymore". I get it, the parents should have said "at this time you should get a job, we don't have the funds to send you to college". But OP was childish for running away and stubborn for not communicating his feelings to them
The fact that the holiday house was more important than their own son's future is wild.
If I was him I would hold that grudge until I die.
OP wasn't upset about the money. He was upset that his parents cared more about their precious vacation home than their son's education. What parent wouldn't sell a second home to fund their kids' educations?
One thing that confuses me in a bunch of these Reddit posts is why people don't just consider taking loans if they really need to go to college that badly.
I feel this kne. My mom swore to me if i stayed at home, she'd pay for ny college. So i stayed, worked part time, and attended college....for two semesters. Then she abruptly cut off paying for my school because "its too expensive" when i applied for school loans, i was denied, because ny mom aimed me on her yaxes, despite me paying for rent and my own bills. She screwed me iver entirely, and didn't care when i confronted her.
I would 100% not want those parents around my kids.
They started by lying to OP about the fund they saved, yes it's a lie cause it was used for something they completely didn't need.
Then they got angry at him for being upset they screwed him over by both not paying cause they didn't want to give up their luxury they have using money they promised him and left him in the wind by not letting him know in any sort of timely manner leaving him with very few choices.
They then leave all contact up to OP for 10 years blaming him solely for it, only to inform him his mother has been diagnosed with a condition he might also have years later and still holding him solely responsible for everything.
OP had to put in 80% of the work to make it happen, that is a horrible thing to subject your children to.
Basically the father is stubborn, that trait was passed on to his son. What a sad story, but I'm glad it had a happy ending.
If i had a kid no fight or bruised ego would stop me from wanting to be a part of their life. Especially if the relationship was good up to that point. Humans are so damn aggravating 😑
They couldn't afford to help their only child with college despite both having jobs but they can afford to splurge on themselves? Make that make sense. They should have told op sooner so he could have gotten time to work hard and get scholarships or a part time job. They suck for blindsiding op like that on the day he turned 18. The hypocrisy of claiming op only cares about when they sacrificed their son's education money to keep up their lifestyle lol. Ngl I fully expected op's parents to contact their son for money. That's usually how these stories turn out.
What materialistic parents! Not giving up the holiday home for their kid’s education. Stupid! In my country, once you choose to have children you are responsible for them until they finish college
So doubt OP was so saintly in these events.
As far as I’m aware there’s still a play palace open in a town near my home town in Florida. Wild
THESE PARENT IN LAWS ARE GOATED
A major part of the OP's grievance was that his parents kept major info from him for months. Now, with the Parkinson's diagnosis, they've kept major information from him for years. I'm glad the OP was able to be the bigger person, but I get the sense that this is a temporary reconciliation.
Being a parent is not an excuse for what they did. Op was a hurt 18 year old they were adults. They are lucky he forgave them because they did nothing to deserve it.
I stumbled upon this reddit videos recently and I enjoy them from time to time, but I don't understand something.
I am from Europe, Albania in particular, and I will never understand why there are so many people in USA that lack empathy towards their parents, siblings and relatives. (I know USA is a huge country with 300M inhabitants and there are black sheep everywhere btw)
It's like you don't even understand the struggle and most of you don't value relationships. 90% of people can't even think of paying college and buying a vacation home in this world. The family could have done both and still they managed to somehow choose the worst path possible. Bothe the parents for lying to their son, prioritizing a house instead of their offspring (I am pretty sure they could have bought the house 5 years later) and the son for totally not caring about his parent for 10 years (I understand his feelings, I also wanted to leave my parents damn even when I was 15,16 but not talking to them for 10 years? Just invite them to the wedding and if their refuse it's their problem, you acted as a good son.)
These stories are written in a manner that really feels like AI or fiction.
OPs parents must be boomers.
I hate how ppl want you to forgive the people that hurt you (parents included) I feel like it doesn’t matter if they are family or not I shouldn’t have to forgive and forget just because they are family smh. I don’t think the wife understood why he was angry and how it’s ok not to forgive everyone
comments saying OP is spoiled....smh.
I get it, but you don't run away from home at 18. You're an adult. But I get the feeling of betrayal. Only half way through.
Started crying at the end
I hate the "they're still your parents/family" excuse
Ops parents are actually awful. You promised this to your child and instead you spent it on a vacation home. What awful parents.
I guess it's a happy state for now.
When they're old and lonely and needed him then only they reached out , op got played.
Unpopular opinion: they only called u cuz ur mom was dying. If she was healthy they would have continued on pretending u didn't exist for the next few decades. Let them go reconnect with their vacation house in cabo. It was clearly more important to them than their only child's education and future.
real hero here is the op father in law.
I'm not crying, you're crying
This whole story reminds me of the plot from the Hindi movie "Kabhi Kushi Kabhie Gham." 😂
The dad's a gaslighter😂😂
I Really had to chuckle a little bit...
dad did the same thing twice. Waiting till the problem got really bad until actually telling people who will be affected by it. why?
Parents are so attached to material possessions, but not about caring and keeping the promise to their child.
He should have stayed no contact, and let them pass without ever knowing what happened to you.
sound like u had a great 18th birthday!!!!
Nta but OP sounds entittled like he expects them to pay for anything but by the end i understood everything lol
Yeah its not about the money but the value of honesty and promises being broken, I genuinely doubt OP wouldn't acted like that if his parents were just honest earlier
The parents and the entitled kid are both wrong.
At 18 its moving out not running away....
The parents knew what they were doing. Who the heck waits until someones birthday to give them bad news. They'd had the information for months. The could have told him months earlier, or even the day after, earlier obviously better.There is however some information obviously missing from the story.
In example, I do wonder if there was ever actually a college fund, or if both parents were in the middle of a midlife crisis when their son was 18, because its abnormal for people who have the forethought to create and maintain a college fund for almost two decades, to think it reasonable to spend the whole thing a few months before it would be used on non essentials. Otherwise, was there some type of argument or family tragedy that explains it (one potential example being it was a recently, at the time, deceased grandparents vacation / home that had left it to multiple children, one wanting to sell and OP's parents wanting to keep it so buying out their siblings share, which would explain why the parents described something that they had owned for a very brief period of time as sentimental.)
This is one I would be interested in the parents side of the story, but the OP is not the AH for being upset with his parents choosing not to communicate properly. They may have been for other things, depending on the full backstory, and I would guess there is an element of it from what's not been said.
is it really running away because 18 i counted as an adult
It’s not called running away at 18. It’s being an adult.
Who the fuck cutting onions 😭😭
Somewhat an a-hole. Even if you felt betrayed, you shouldn't have been difficult with your parents. The OP and his parents were prideful and didn't budge. The OP even admitted they were both being stupid at the end. People defending everything for OP are probably entitled, themselves.
Hey get your here within the hour ticket here
👇🏻
If the end is right everything is right. ❤
OP’s parents sound like baby boomers
The parents take the majority of the blame the main argument is they knew months ago and didn't tell him about it if he knew he could have looked for alternate routes like scholarships/programs if he didn't have already did in the first place second they have a whole vacation home they could have put on the market to help out financially and third to my knowledge this is one of the parents dream outside of taken over a family business and grandkids is to send their child to college to make a future of themselves
College is overrated. Blue collar is where the real money is at.
They ARE THE WORST!
Rich people and O I included thats depresing
Not speaking to my parents. It's been a year. This is the first year that I didn't call my mom on her b day or mother's day.
That sucks :-(
Terrible parents
They just need OP at the end to pay for the funerals and end of life care
I don‘t know how I came to that thought but if you really think about it. The reason that problem came into being is the supidly exspensive education. I mean why should it be that expensive to be educated? In my country College or what it is called is almost free. Except a few hundred bucks per semester for some things. But we also habe „expensive“ ones but they are all still affordable in comparison to like US collage. I mean up to a good yearly salary in my country per year for collage? why the f?
OP is a better man than I am