Was Harvard Worth It? The Hidden Cost of Attending an Ivy League College
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- čas přidán 12. 05. 2024
- The lowdown on the culture at Harvard college, from a recent grad. In a word: toxic. Let's be real about the mental health cost of attending Harvard (✏️Video Notes Below ↓↓↓)
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✏️ Notes
🎥 Videos I referenced:
How I Got Into Harvard ► • How I Got Into Harvard...
The Biggest Mistakes at Harvard College ► • The Biggest Mistakes I...
My Harvard Advice & Experience Playlist ► • The Secret to a Stella...
Personal Development Playlist ► • Escaping the Expectati...
The culture at Harvard was rough, y'all. I was completely unprepared for the level of cutthroat competition and constant comparison to your peers. There's an idealization of Harvard in popular culture, but you don't hear about the mental health issues on campus - which I've seen as a theme across the Ivy League. And the institution often provides students with very little support. Yes, it's great to be a Harvard alumnus, and my career has gone great places, but let's be real about the sacrifice - not everyone makes it out.
#Harvard #MentalHealth #IvyLeague
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👋🏾 Hey! I'm Ahsante the Artist :) I make videos to help you move consciously and creatively through life. I talk about personal development, self care, wellness, social awareness, intersectionality, and mental & physical health. I hope you join me!
👋🏾 Hey, thanks for watching! Here are my other reflection videos on Harvard and overachievement for your viewing pleasure:
❯ The Biggest mistakes I Made at Harvard College: czcams.com/video/GN8anFdZoPM/video.html
❯ How I Stopped Hating Myself: czcams.com/video/TaPiMZYGtl8/video.html
❯ Productivity Obsession Ruined My Mental Health, Here's How I Recovered: czcams.com/video/nPrJOIMJCr0/video.html
Or watch my full playlist on personal growth 🌱: czcams.com/play/PLPTqUXuJ7a5e2qElloQM3mk5bRuE0f5WG.html
*Also note a correction, the clubs are called "final clubs" not "finals clubs"
What do you think about the Harvard Crimson ‘s recent acceleration in anti Jewish sentiment ?
As a Harvard graduate do you think that the quality of education at Harvard is better than a state university?
I remember hearing that when it comes to these types of schools, the degree itself isnt the point. The reason these elite schools are so expensive is because you get the chance to make connections with future "important" people. As they say, its not how hard you work, its who you know. 😩
not the grades you make, but the hands you shake
@@ashishtrehan1 now that is quite the quote😮
100% true
Absolutely. My dentist's son went to Harvard and was on the golf team, and spent all of his time playing video games and not making connections. Drove my dentist crazy.
Totally agree. I always say ivy league schools teach you about how to network with alum and to secure a job/internship/etc. before graduating. I must say alums do look out for one another. Just speaking from experience.
so that shirt is not only a flex its a symbol that says I survived an education cult
Literally a badge of survival!!
*A cult that is purely optional and from which everyone is free to leave.
Edit: not discouraging anyone from sharing their experiences as it's really important for everyone to know what they're walking into. I would never go or get into an ivy, but i find it quite pathetic that people who are salty, that people far exceed them feel it necessary to project so hard that ivy's are horrific cults.
Edit 2: Zoe Sofiadou is braindead.
@@rasmus7493 Literally all cults are optional, “from which everyone is free to leave”.... you needa look up the physiology behind cults
@@jc8198 no they’re not at all. There are many reasons why someone may feel the need to join a cult or an Ivy League school. Upbringing and social pressure ect; for many cultures a possibility for your child to raise the family up through the social mobility ladder is too big of an opportunity to miss. Some people feel they have no other choice at all
This 👆🏿
For students looking into colleges, the most important things to look out for are #1 how much debt you’re going to leave with #2 how well does the school support students (can usually be visualized by the graduation rate, job rate after graduation, and services available to students) and #3 the strength of the program you’re interested in. Sure, having an Ivy League school on your resume will help but it may not be worth it if it ruins your finances and mental health. Another piece of advice: get internships in college! Having actual work experience is crucial!
Ivy schools are the cheapest schools if you are from a poor or middle class background. There are no loans, only grants. Your information is completely incorrect.
Ivies have no debt. None. Suggestion: don't form opinions when you know nothing about a subject.
@@ak203 wow this was very dramatic. I didn't say that ivies are always a bad financial decision. I just said its important to consider how much debt you'll leave school with (applies to ivy and non-ivy schools). For example, choosing in-state vs. out-of-state schools. To say that nobody from ivy league schools have debt is just simply false though. The fact that you came back to reply again several days later really cracks me up though!
@@halli2196 yeah the 6 day gap is hilarious
Don't forget the value of your education depends on the market supply and demand👍
I’m a first-year at Harvard College and the way you just voiced everything that I’ve been feeling (like i’m not good enough, alone, stressed, etc) all i can say is thank you. I thought I was the only one going through this but to know that you went through it and overcame it is reassuring. It sucks that you went through such an experience and it’s even more disheartening to know that nothing much has changed.
congratulations!
oh my god you better do ur best so u get a better experience.
Kind of like a big sister right?
Quit go to university of Miami but before you do get a student loan buy a condo at least at the end of your degree you have equity and a sliver of sanity with good stories and real friends
Hey can u help me ?
I did my masters and PhD at Harvard. It was brutal, stressful, highly competitive and anxiety provoking. I had nightmares, literally, for years after graduation - that I never actually graduated and had to return, that I was enrolled in a course I only found out about at exam time, etc. Knowing what I know now, I would definitely not choose Harvard again. And, although it was not nice being AT Harvard, it was nice being FROM Harvard. The name certainly carries a lot of recognition and prestige. The price you pay for that, though, is way too high.
Beautifully and poignantly written...
I’m so sorry I laughed at the “I was enrolled in a course I only found out about at exam time” cause that is literally a nightmare regardless of where you study 💀😂😂
I have some questions, I hope you answer them, I am really curious :
Where did you get your undergrad?
What field is your undergraduate, masters and phD on?
Did you make friends?
How did Harvard accept you? What are they looking for? Your GPA? Your extrarriculars? Job experience? Internships? Or something else?
What university would you have chosen then?
How did being from Harvard helped you? Did you land a high-paying position?
That is insanse! I loterally have the same exact nightmares still!
Wow thank you for sharing!
My friend's daughter graduated from Harvard with a BS degree in Sociology and she makes the same salary as all the other people in her office who went to local colleges. The big difference was, the Harvard grad has more college debt to pay.
I think it’s mostly because she graduated with a social science degree with little to no hard skills…
If she didn't realize this until she graduated she's not as smart as I would think a Harvard student would be.
I worked at a warehouse with people who had degrees.. our boss didn’t even have a HS diploma but he told me he just lied about going to college a few years prior. He went on to make 6 figures in another building.
Wild.
I have actually noticed a couple people lie about going to school while they really aren’t. They’re probably gearing up for a resume embellishment.
I hate that some people commented on this acting like sociology degrees are worthless. There are so many jobs available for liberal arts majors and just because their major doesn’t line up for a specific job title doesn’t mean it’s worthless or dumb. It’s about being able to demonstrate how your soft skills can be an asset. People who act like soft skills are worthless need more experience interacting in teams or with people of different levels of soft skills. (And before people call me a salty liberal arts major, I’m a software engineer and I can tell how people with way better soft skills than me are able to do way better on teams.) I know a guy who studies classics at Stanford and he’s literally one of the smartest people ever. Also that department is small so he get to take advantage of more funds and resources.
I feel so sad for the students having to go through this....this is just so toxic and teaching and promoting a toxic culture. A person has value just for who they are not for what they can do, or know. Thank you for sharing this.
not in a corporate and consumerist society...
I started finding ppl from lesser known colleges to have more intrinsic qualities than ppl from well know colleges. The former seemed closer to life. They laughed easily. Everything was not logical or intellectual for them. They were like 'normal'.
@@shreyaindia4024 down to earth?
@@korratheaustralianshepherd5804 haha...yeah
It's rough
A big challenge for lower-middle-class kids that get into the Ivy League is that most of the students come from wealthy upper middle-class and very upper-class backgrounds. Financial limitations can really affect the social groups you are a part of in general. Most of the kids at the Ivy have money to spend on dinners, outings, and clubs. It adds another layer of stress.
A friend of mine applied for Harvard. Brilliant guy. He's the most smart, hard working AND caring person I know. He did not get in. It was heart breaking, but in a way I'm glad. I think that that kind of preassure could have destroyed him.
He probably still went to a good university though, right?
@@itzelmontalvo6645 well... he applied to other top 10 universities in the US, but he didn't get into any. I think it was because he was asking for a lot of financial help (since we live in a not very rich third world country hahaha). In the end he ended up going to the best university in our country, but still, it's a bit sad because if It was not for the money I'm sure he would have at least been accepted to one of the universities he applied to.
@@rodriguezelfeliz4623 It's not a big deal for people who are smart to go to these top schools. They can still get a good degree and job without the debt. It's probably a good thing he didn't get in. When I was in high school the perception I had was that the name of the university mattered. After going to college I realized just getting some good internships for job experience is good enough and the actual university is not a big deal.
While i think that the admissions system is unfair, I think that you can do well without going to Harvard.
when i went to my aunts graduation from yale, they had a whole slideshow and moment of silence for the students who.. unalived themselves due to the stress pressure of the environment. it sadly seemed very common for these institutions.
drinking a glass of champagne at 11 while hearing about these things; core memory.
Nothing wrong with going to a community college, state university, or even a trade school and pursuing a career that way. These Ivy League colleges are just a status symbol.
yeah but some doors will not be open to you unless you have an Ivey league credential.
@@gazlives wrong
@@gazlives
Probably only if you’re getting a law degree. Other than that you’re just paying for the status.
I think it depends on the school. Some of the schools within the Ivy League really give the best education you can get as well as the credential. I think of business, law and medical and would add science and technology if you count MIT and Stanford especially if you looking at their super equipped grad schools.
@@patrickmccutcheon9361
Not true. It’s state schools with better engineering programs than Harvard and or just as good. All the material are the same. Ivy League universities are more about the status and network. Other than that it’s about the individual. And Stanford and MIT are not Ivy League universities so you can’t count them.
10:43 - cannot believe a school that is so prestigious does not even have proper mental health services for students. Highly competitive environments like these are extremely toxic and only end up creating narcissistic individuals. This environment seems horrible. Remember everyone you’re supposed to enjoy what you’re doing, and if you’re not enjoying it don’t endure it for long.
thissssss
they don't care....
I just turned down Harvard for Stanford. It was hard to do but I just felt way more passion for Stanford’s program. I also felt more warmth from them. I know I made the right decision. Thanks for this video.
I went to community college so I don't know anything about Harvard but the impression I get from Ahsante's presentation reinforces my long-held suspicion that people don't go to college to be educated, it's about the credential. I have been successful without a Harvard degree and Ahsante would be successful without a Harvard degree. But the degree is a nice advertisement and I can see that the alumni connections are unmatched. Yes, the word "Harvard" did attract me to the video but I watched until the end because it's well done.
Look Sam Harris talks about this, hes a famous neuroscientist. What he says is that the top companies hire Ivy League students NOT because of their education BUT because they are smart. You must be an outlier if youre successful but mostly those who graduate from somewhere like Harvard do very well and those from JCs rarely do.
"All Ivy league graduates are smart" therefore "most JC graduates do not do well" is a non sequitur. All Ivy league graduates are smart but not all smart people go to Ivy League schools.
Gee, ya think???
@@JerryStevens Bell Curve application?
People like that go to college for the prestige, the social capital, to gain connections. If they don't see you as benefitting them, they won't give you the time of day. Really selfish way of thinking. And, many (not all of course) get into those top universities through connections, wealth, feeder schools. It's all to maintain their elitism. I also went to community college, btw lol
This is helpful. I interviewed with Harvard in high school and it was one of the most humiliating experiences I've had academically. I am actually from a low income family, and I was a first generation college student. My interviewer asked a lot of personal questions about my family and how I felt about welfare. She kept asking me why I thought I was good enough to attend Harvard. I said that I was intelligent, and she said so are a lot of people and that being smart wasn't good enough. I came away from the whole process feeling dirty and wanting to cry. She said she didn't feel that I had what it took to survive on campus and maybe I could consider grad school as an option. For quite some time, I held some level of mild resentment for her. But after hearing your experience maybe she was looking out for me. IDK
The Lord works in mysterious ways!
As to welfare, you should have asked "do you mean the welfare that businesses tied to politicians get? Or the welfare that people like my parents got and I worked my way out
@@GARRY3754 Yup. You will see many high ranking people in corporate America can be really a holes when you actually get to know them.
This is why I decided not to try and become a dancer as a profession after high school, people tear you apart :/ I hope you’re doing well now!
That's how I felt at my first job fair.
Narcissism is what comes to mind when I hear this. There are cults on big levels that we don’t see being a cult. Anything that puts you down or make you question yourself worth in order to obtain, is a process of breaking you down to be able to program you. It’s like a test. If you make it through your accepted into the “group “
Nope. It's just perspective. Harvard is place that just asks you "did you take control of your life, or were you just playing the game?" Hence why every activity there was someone doing it from 9 years old. You have to look at it like like a person. One person wont supply all your education as well as all your connections and to rely on on person is insanity. In the end it comes down to what YOU did. Did you create yourself or did you do what everyone else said you had to do to win. The ones who passed were the ones who the parents prepared them for how life actually works and the ones who didn't pass are the ones who thought there was a game. Unfortunately, her parents seemed to think it was a letters and numbers game you play to win.
My son has both a PhD & MD. The former is from a state school, while the later is an Ivy. He spent some time acquiring volunteer credits at MIT after Harvard told him he lacked that component. He wound up at Penn. Both Ivy's turned him off due to their elitist attitudes. He started off at a community college. I'm glad that these experiences didn't turn him into an elitist himself. The best part is that his student debt is minimal to nothing. He's about to start his residency at Stanford(which was his first choice.) It seems that the volunteer component is a way that the Ivy's can turn away the less advantaged because the lower classes don't have the luxury of volunteering extensively.
I have an engineering professor that went to MIT and Harvard and he continues to share that these schools are just not worth it…
My college professor says the same thing. He has made speeches at Harvard and tells us it’s the same education, they just get more opportunities than we do at our four year college.
MIT is worth it, if you’re very passionate about computer science. Their lectures are free online and the energy in those classes are way better than any class I had.
If you're obtaining an engineering degree, you don't need an ivy league college😂 But if you're majoring in a recreational degree, like sociology...Yeah. An ivy league college will probably get you farther in the market.
Your engineering professor is wrong. MIT is worth it. He got the job that he has today because he went to MIT.
@@bigmacdaddy1234 "he has the job that he has today because he went to MIT" is a bold statement of fact without any attempt at qualification; this is poor form. Your statement suggests that if said professor had gone to a university other than MIT, that he would not be enjoying a position as well paid or prestigious as the one he currently has (seeing as the professor didn't say that higher education wasn't worth it, only that the institutions he attended weren't worth it).
The problem is that you don't know where said professor teaches based on OP's comments - and even if you did, you probably wouldn't be familiar with the hiring standards for that institution off the top of your head. Moreover, one can reasonably assume the professor was giving his opinion within the context of being just that... an opinion. Not only was that opinion formed by life experiences you aren't privy to, but he can't be "wrong" about something that inherently subjective.
However, since you asserted that he was only in his position because he, specifically, went to MIT... YOU can be wrong. I'm guessing you have a lot of brains, but they'll do you no good if you become too defensive or emotional to use them. Have a nice day.
So what you're saying is...The Social Network is correct?
For real though, one of my best friends from high school went to Harvard. I went to visit her for her birthday one year and I started talking to someone at a party and as soon as I mentioned that I didn't go to Harvard she just kind of...walked away. The vibe is off!
It's funny because that movie came out right as I was starting! It makes sense why they were so brutal to each other as founders. The vibe is OFF
That was extremely rude.
YIKES! 😲
Wow! They really are as pompous and elitist as they seem. Legally Blonde, imo also portrayed Harvard well. Some really seem like competitive snobs.
Where did you go to then?
People are so concerned with being perceived as “the best” that they don’t stop and think what’s best for them
I'm feeling more grateful than ever that I went to a state university. I ended up in the honors dorm (so all students who had equivalent test scores/grades to people who attended ivies) and it was almost the polar opposite of Ahsante's experience. It was a huge house of nerds who loved each other (most of us remain close to this day), where we indulged in things we found interesting and supported each other. (It also had a much lower price tag!) And most of us ended up as engineers, teachers, or doctors, anyway...so it's not as though we'd be seeing a huge jump in salary due to the "brand", anyway...
I am a firm believer in the "in-state public Ivy" for the home court advantage of studying. The inclusive community you noted was likely a strong factor for success. Imagine being at Harvard far from home with ultra-wealthy students who ostracize or belittle the blue-collar or middle class of students. Long ago I had a chance to visit MIT for graduate studies. They recruited me as a Native American engineer from out west. I am Apache from AZ. First of all, I knew the "stigma" of affirmative action would likely be in-place immediately. Second, the long-distance, culture shock, and wide difference in geographic and cultural surroundings of the far northeast just didn't seem amenable. Ultimately, I chose to stay at the "state schools". I have since gotten multiple master's degrees in the SEC, ACC, and Pac-12 - lol. I am now in a PhD at Arizona State for data science. The "in-state" universities are generally rigorous beyond the freshman level when the "not-so-serious" students are filtered out freshman year. At the upper-division levels there are many international students too. So, the rigor gets very high at in-state STEM programs with world-wide pools of students competing for grades. But the inclusiveness tends to be a lot better overall - not perfect but reasonable. So, I have been happy staying at state schools for graduate studies. They also have sports programs and social networks that I don't believe I would have experienced at MIT. That school just seemed really depressing from people I spoke with. Why not just study engineering at Florida State with hard studies during the week and fun on weekends socializing at the campus gym? The same could be done at UF, Arizona State, Arizona, UCLA, Oregon, or Texas.
so did you get all A's to get in or take alot of challenging classes
@@angelasaunders6891 Both. I had a GPA of 3.7 (so mostly As) and was a chemical engineering major (in 4 years!), so my coursework was also fairly challenging.
may I ask which college did you go to
@@Niniene I’m thinking about taking chemical engineering as my major as well 🙃
I specifically chose to go to a chill liberal arts college because as a naturally hyper competitive person with generalized anxiety, I knew my sanity would not survive a hyper competitive school. Best decision I ever made. I got lifelong friends and great job opportunities out of it all the same.
yes definitely! I'm going thru a liberal arts school right now, it's a bit stressful but i'm getting better at managing things and it's overall been very positive :)
That sounds like a brilliant decision on your part. I think we over-glorify competitive schools, where they're really not the best option for everyone. It's great that you went with what suited you.
What school i need to transfer
Good for you
..very smart decision....payed attention to your emotional well being knowing your worthiness with or without ivy league
What is even liberal arts?
Experience at Harvard sounds like a boot camp for life in the corporate sector
Indeed. Turns out ALL the people who "hold all the cards," are extremely hard individuals.
Could it be any other way ? 🤔 change human nature perhaps {as do many socio-economic systems claim}
Me, I don't think so. However I'm just a cabby lol what do I know ?!
@@batjackjohnson252 Yes. They are cut throat. Ironically the best way to crush them is to outwork them. It's funny those individuals are really childlike inside their psyche's. I had a chance on many occasions to watch the "implosion" that occurs when they realize that you are relentless and you are not going to yield. Those privileged twits liberally just run away and give up. It's interesting to observe.
@@toddscallan8781 perhaps neglected emotional needs from a early age all throughout their younger years is the cause of such strange 🤔 personality flaws. Never the less cronyism wins the day, my friend. I too have come across a good deal of such types i a number of less formal relations. The fewest of the rare ever expressed even the slightest amount of authenticity in personality, genuine vulnerability (not for the purpose of manipulation) or any sort of development of emotional intelligence. However I have met a couple. Maybe even the creator of this video would be such an uncommon type.
@@batjackjohnson252 Sorry. Chief. Anyone who holds the viewpoint that cronyism "wins" doesn't understand true power. Cronyism creates (by its application) the inability for its recipient to yield true authentic ruthlessness needed to deploy power.
Your beliefs determine whether you accept the "false narratives" these weak minded people try to sell (and thereby create a buffer zone of protection for them not to be accountable).
You just haven't had the pleasure of going the extra mile in order to capture real excellence. Good luck.
@@toddscallan8781 haha you're a funny kid who probably has extremely limited experience in multiple municipal bureaucracies. If you're not in the USA then I understand. Otherwise you speak like a child who over compensates by reading books about power theory hahaha are you that guy ?! Haha that's rich, baby. You do you and tell me all about how society works hahaha
Funny kid. If you're ever around SD let me know
Fellow 2015 grad here -- don't think we knew each other on campus, but +1000 to everything you've said here! I cannot articulate it nearly as well. Great video and continued healing to us all...
Thank you for validating with this comment! To healing indeed 🙏🏾
It took you _years_ to recover from the conditioning of that environment. I was quite taken aback when you said that. That should never be anyone's post-college experience. What a waste that Harvard, with all its vast wealth and resources, chooses not to foster an environment that is more evolved; an environment that supports, sustains, and uplifts its students - academically AND emotionally; an environment that, ultimately, values the dignity of every person. It is the richest university in the world, and it very well could do this. It could be exemplary, revolutionary.
thissssssss, this stuck out to me the most. 5 years AFTER (when the undergrad degree is only 4 years). Very sad, but I'm glad she's ok now
Ahsante, I stumbled across your video this morning. I'm Harvard Class of 1990 -- Adams House. We had our 20th reunion when you graduated so we were all in the Yard together. Like you I am also an African American from a middle class background. I was one of the first Harvard students to spend a semester in Buenos Aires. I went down in 1988 right after the resumption of democracy. That was a wild time to be down there. There was no program at the time. I did it all myself. It was a nice break to be "of" Harvard but not in it. Our experiences at Harvard are a generation apart but they are very similar. It is a tough, tough, tough place. But life is also tough, and I agree with you that having gone through Harvard you feel like you can take on anything. Anyway, I hope you are doing well. I'm going to show this video to my wife and my nieces. I have one who would a perfect fit for Harvard because she is smart and has the drive to make it in a hyper competitive environment. Good luck!!......Malcolm
Really appreciate this comment, thank you Malcolm!
@@AhsanteB I am from Buenos Aires, I love my city! nice that you had such a great time there
Welcome to CZcams
Great comment, Malcolm!
How was Buenos Aires as a black man.... I really don't like adding race to something but I hear Argentina is not really kind to black people
wow. you perfectly summarized everything that i felt about that place when i was there, graduated 2014. AND the aftermath. It's taken me years to get to a place where I can finally realize my worth again. Bless you for putting this into words.
Young lady, glad to hear you’ve recovered from elite, white cultural brain washing…best of luck in your future…two rules I’ve learned in 43 years of working and living- be yourself and be happy, the rest is enjoy your journey in life.✌️🙏😇🇺🇸
Read my post on top, I don’t even have a G.E.D !!! Peace
Your worth is known only to you as you are the only one on your daily journey 24/7, so do not allow others to dictate your life or criticize your thoughts and actions. You sound like you’ve seen the light and realize what it takes to live in your life. Took me a long time to find myself, as growing as a Chinese American in the 1960s I was bombarded with being white was cool. Even in the 1970s, the colleges were already teaching socialist doctrines but they weren’t pushing down our throats like they are doing now. Good luck in all your future endeavors…if you ever feel lost just listen to sane, rational people like Jordan Peterson, Thomas Sowell, etc.
she looks great.
@@dandandkl9048 How do you recommend people like Jordan Peterson and Thomas Sowell, yet you are seeming to also condemn Harvard College for "white cultural brainwashing"? Those are intelligent and rational people, but how could you people possibly appreciate anything they have to say when you are concurrently deluded into believing this psychopathic "white supremacy" racist nonsense? On one hand, you formulate your life views from the preachings of CNN and MSNBC, yet on the other hand you listen to Peterson and Sowell for leisure. Maybe I'm missing something.
Omg. Holy shit. This was my exact experience at UC Berkeley. I know it’s not Harvard but they sure think it is in California. I also strongly considered dropping out but it just wasn’t an option as a first gen, first to college. It really messed with my sense of self worth as well, like I seriously also had to claw my way back for 5 years after graduating. If I had to do it again I would go anywhere else. Thank you for making this video
Berkeley has one of the highest number of Nobel Prize Winners that teach there. It is not a good place to study for an undergraduate degree, many are taught by grad students.
I went to a different Ivy League uni, but this video really resonated with me, in particular having to take years to unlearn the self-worth-crushing thought patterns that I created in my brain during my time there. It's interesting that you felt that your time there gave you the mental fortitude to tackle tough real-world work situations - I actually feel like it did the opposite for me. My self-esteem was in the gutter after I graduated, and that made it difficult for me to feel like I deserved to be hired for any challenging jobs. I still feel that way, and I still compare myself constantly to others who are more successful. It's tough, and I do wonder if my mental health would be in a better place if I'd gone somewhere more "ordinary".
High self-esteem is highly correlated with criminality. Intelligent people know their own limitations, and decent people recognize the value of others.
So don't worry about low self-esteem, as long as you have self-respect - and on the self-respect side, the mere fact that you were able to get _in_ to an Ivy says more about you than what you did after you were there. The fact that you are introspective about your experience also says something positive about your character.
There's always going to be someone smarter than you, someone wiser than you, someone faster than you, someone stronger than you - if not in one way then in another. That's true of every single person in the world. There will also always be someone (probably an awful lot of someones) who is more stupid, more foolish, slower, and weaker - if not in one way then in another. That is also true for every single person in the world. You just be you, and let the others worry about themselves.
Take care.
How did people treat you post grad?
I went to an ordinary school for undergrad and did pretty well there and then went to a really good one after for post grad...
My self confidence is in the gutter but I think I tasted reality and I need to improve myself before I think about doing something more challenging.
What I wanted to say is..You managed to get into an Ivy League school for undergrad. Even if you hadn't, you might have gone for something that would have been very challenging after that, that would have probably resulted in the same line of thought. Do your best hanging in there and I hope things work out for you.
I hope you know that you will fall in love with yourself one day, just take one day at a time.
This was a very interesting video! As an European, I hadn't even considered the possible downsides of attending Harvard, as the only information I have of the place is through American series and movies
Right!! It seems so righteous and elevated in the media - I wish someone had prepared me for what it would really be like. Glad you liked it!
Anyone could google more information about any subject. It’s not a good idea to get facts and opinions from a movie. Many of those things can be stereotypes, not be truthful, not be reality, and not even be the actual set of the campus.
Same as a New Zealander
@@AhsanteB a healthy mistrust of Big Media is thankfully growing within today's youth
@@AhsanteB Glad you're telling us how it really is.
My cousins close friend went to Harvard (and eventually obtained her Juris Doctor from Harvard Law). She said the exact same things in this video - basically, if you aren't wealthy the competitiveness in Harvard demands selectiveness. That is, if you're wealthy and know people then your entry into Harvard is all but guaranteed. The structure is designed to selectively halt the 'poor' and that social-class is anyone that doesn't have old wealth. For 6 years she had to dedicate and 'stand out' while attending Harvard. She said, those that were socially higher just walked onto campus as if they owned the place (and they did lol).
You are wrong. I went to HLS and wealth had zero to do with anything. I went to another Ivy for undergrad and wealth had zero to do with anything. The issue is self-confidence and fortitude. If you don't have both you'll have problems regardless of wealth or background. Poor kids have been going to Harvard for well over 100 years and they do fine.
Completely false. Totally false. Ridiculous.
@@ak203 dude had to come respond to the comment again almost a week later lol
@@maximum_entropy ?
@@maximum_entropy 😂😂😂
Girl the over-assignment of readings RESONATED. I tried to do all the reading my first week in grad school (not at an ivy, but a similarly competitive and prestigious private university with the #clout lol) and quickly realized the workload is impossible. I don’t think they give those assignments for us to complete, but rather for us to figure out how to cope with the stress discern what’s most important. Personally I hated the whole vibe of that place and am glad to be rid of it lol. By graduation, most of my cohort was in the same headspace. It’s too much, man. Personally, not worth it for me, even five years out.
Also, the 25 page syllabuses drove me NUTS lol
@@dewdrops8831 Yessss it’s nuts!! I remember talking with a friend about the curve in software engineering courses at our school; averages were in the 20s. If you gotta curve the grade that far, I just can’t see how it’s worth it. Or at all effective.
@@tsalt25 Hey what university are you talking about. Would love to know.
Lol that had me wondering how long my essays in college were, man !
@@tsalt25 Managing workload and stress is an implicit goal of the ivy league. There are so many of the MOST talented in each class there has to be some way to separate the wheat from the chaff and the rotten from the healthy. Of course, no system is perfect, but weeding out people with extremely weak mental fortitude is an important aspect when you consider the jobs and roles in society graduates of these institutions enter immediately. Do you really want everyone to be full of themselves and totally balling the whole time? Grading is on a curve for a reason, and that part works at least.
Wow, this was so similar to my experience attending Cambridge as a woman of colour. Almost dropped out several times, due to the feelings of isolation and realizing the dream wasn't all it was made out to be. I really had some idealistic vision of it being a place where I would make all these intellectual breakthroughs with likeminded people, and while I did make some great personal breakthroughs with a small group of friends, the culture of the university as a whole was very conservative and 'traditional' (within that 'traditionalism' were many barriers toward studying subjects I wanted and being confined to a non-progressive curriculum, plus there was a huge amount of elitism, which was quite off putting to many people of colour and working class people who were not 'connected'). On top of that I was sexually assaulted on a couple of occasions, twice by men who were attending the college in years above mine (wealthy, connected yt men...) and I had no idea how to deal with/ process it, so I really didn't deal with it till after I graduated. I'm glad I finished my degree because it has made it easier to get jobs, but I spent many years recovering from the experience, which I didn't anticipate before going.
Congratulations on graduating from Harvard. That’s a huge accomplishment and you should be very proud of yourself. I didn’t go to college, I joined the US Navy and retired after 20 years of service. I haven’t worked a day since I was 38. Harvard sounds horrible.
This comment is gold 😂
My man!
you have great retirement benefits to not work. Hope you used the VA to buy a home.
Thank you for your service Sir! 🇺🇸
I think it varies from person to person. My father was in the military but he actively dissuaded me from joining, as the environment isn’t for everyone, which was fine with me. Thankfully, I did not go to an Ivy League
+1 to everything you said in this video. I first found your channel right when I got accepted to Harvard in 2016, and now I'm graduating in a few weeks (after taking a year off before my final semester). I feel like the more time I spent at Harvard, the more jaded I got about it, and I'm really ready to be done. Re: extracurriculars, it was also really discouraging that people choose to keep creating more and more exclusive spaces on a campus that is already super exclusive. The vibe of the school is not "come as you are." It is "come as you want to be 5 years from now" and there's no space for anything other than that overachieving, constant striving/pressure.
THIS - "come as you want to be 5 years from now" not "come as you are" is such an apt way to put it. Congrats on making it through & graduating!
I'm 54 and I feel sorry for all of the younger people today trying to navigate this political and non-political landscape live your life and just be a good person that's all............
You have made it this far, go for the glory. Congratulations!
@@je-2024_1 when people don't add anything to the conversation. It is the worst
Congratulations! You made it through.
I went to "The Harvard of the West": The University of Michigan, Ann Arbor. It isn't a private Ivy League school. But it has an excellent academic reputation and is highly ranked. The undergraduate experience at Harvard sounds toxic and not fun. While Michigan was extremely challenging and the readings and assignments were INTENSE, my experience was 100 per cent positive. The campus atmosphere is lively and fun. I have a lot of friends and family who went to Ivies and they always seemed STRESSED. Michigan was fun. I am proud of my public university education.
Did you go for uMich business?
I attended Michigan as well and the culture was nothing like Harvard in the video. I had a hard time at Michigan because I didn't make any lasting friendships and I had other things going on in my life that didn't help my mental health, but I wouldn't change my experience for the world. I fell in love with the city and hope to visit my brother (who is a current student there) over the summer. Ann Arbor holds a special place in my heart.
michigan is NOT the "harvard of the west". would you get serious
Lol I live in Ann Arbor
I went to U of M Dearborn lol, but I live in Ypsi now and study at WSU(still remote), so I do a lot of studying in Ann Arbor. And I have other ties too, but the vibes are pretty great
My daughter worked hard to get into UCLA. She will graduate this year with Zero debt. Thank You CalVet and Chapter 35.
I was friends with the top guy in my high school class. He had a 99 average. I asked him why he didn’t apply to Harvard? He responded, “you have to be a 3 eyed monster to go there!” I now realize like the saying goes, “there’s levels to this”…
The ONLY thing I can see as a plus to go to Harvard (any Ivy League) is the networking. Networking that gets you into jobs, fellowships, groups, country clubs, etc. That’s about it🤷🏽♀️
That's all that matters in life...
ur net worth is ur network😂
Yup it's all about the networks
So true, especially if you want to be a Supreme Court Justice. Currently only one justice is not a graduate of an Ivy League law schools, and that is NOT a good thing.
nope. thats propaganda. networking is easy af; just go to an event. you dont need to pay 100k to network.
At one point, yeah, but even LinkedIn is making that reason much harder to justify at this point.
I used to envy a person who got accepted into harvard. I'm from poland, europe but have wealthy parents so finacially studying abroad is an option. I just never liked being put under huge pressure and the whole concept of meritocracy itself. It kind of changed when a friend of mine got accepted. My mother shamed me into thinking I'm actually a worse person than he is as I don't work hard enough academically, rather focusing on my writing and filmmaking skills because I consider both film school and theater academy. It took me some time to realize there is no point in feeling guilt or shame. I'm just different than he is and that's okay. It doesn't make me less smart or not capable of having a good future and a well-paid job. I just hate the fact some of us tend to associate the "best" colleges/universities in the world with superiority. It's so hard to get in and plenty of intelligent, hard-working people get rejected. Some, like me, don't even want to go. Some don't have enough money and don't fancy being in debt for the rest of their lives. At the end of the day, education, let alone finishing a top-notch school, doesn't even mean that much. I just wish more people knew.
When everyone’s a superhero, no one is a superhero...
iS tHaT aN iNcReDiBiLeS rEfErEnCe?
It sounds like that's where they break the spirit of people and convert them into narcissists and psychopaths.
Because the real world is exactly like that, and those on top know very well about this.
People fight for money, love, land, resources, etc... and people fight for it because there is not enough for everybody.
I wish everybody to be rich... but is it possible?
Sounds about right 👀
@@franciscocz8384 Lol, but the reality is there is enough for everyone to live comfortably. Why do you think we have so much waste and surplus in this country? If the countries of the world made it an initiative, we could properly distribute resources to those countries and groups of people that lack them. But we don’t cause capitalism
@@bricescott7373
No.
The third world countries make 77% of the world population.
Do you think the waste and surpluss of the other 23% of the world is enough to end their poverty?
@@franciscocz8384 the world doesn't need to be as competitive as it is. America is a uniquely cruel society by OECD standards. I.e. its the only one that doesn't have paid maternity leave
This video completely resonates. I graduated from another prestigious university and the experience was so similar, extreme racism, sexism, classism, hierarchy, competition, one of hundreds of top students from across the country (which I thought would be cool), severe isolation and depression, zero mental health care. Graduation was anticlimactic, I was so relieved to get away from that place. This was my experience 20 years ago. I guess nothing has changed.
Yes, I hear that competition is overrated.
Been there and done that 26 years ago and apparently nothing has changed.
Thanks for being honest
@@BTTransformationTV you bet. Leave the hype alone and become a success on your own terms.
Yes. It's part of the process. They want to turn you into ruthless machines.
Everything she is saying is true. The culture at the Ivy schools can be a huge shocker for kids that aren't from elite high schools or the upper class who grow up with this type of exclusive/discriminatory attitude. There are good people everywhere however and you will make friends! but it will take more work than you expected, especially for kids who were top students or "nerds" in high school and thought that at Harvard they would finally meet their "true" peers.
I really appreciate you. I went to a predominately white and affluent grad school and I am a minority woman from a middle class family and...I found myself very much experiencing these things. I can't image how one would cope in their undergrad. But thankfully I found other women like myself who connected with each other. It was absolutely wonderful.
Yale is the same way. I'm FINALLY about to graduate in December, and I'm also a woc (half Black). Finals clubs are called secret societies at Yale... it's the same toxic system. There is an epidemic of student suicides and alarming rates of severe depression/anxiety at these universities. So many students show signs of CPTSD symptoms as well: nervous system dysregulation, hyperarousal, etc. It's truly egregious that students enter these well-resourced universities and are met with cutthroat elitism as opposed to the range of opportunities that theoretically should be available for all students (given the fact that these universities are so well-resourced)... it speaks to the university as an apparatus that prepares students for corporate burnout and a somatic internalization of capitalism. I would go so far as to call it brainwashing. It's truly my personal dark place and I'm so grateful I'm almost done.
This is so very well written. I envy your style of expression. I’m a literature student and I have an aversion towards prolixity. I have realised that many people, particularly those in my circle, write primarily to either flex and/or confuse. So, if I come across any write-up which is clear, concise and is really effective in communicating the thoughts of the author, I immediately become a fan.
@@nipunsharma5351 💯
@Mekehl jealousy is showing. this person obviously had the intelligence. just this post alone shows their intellectual in writing
Ivy Leagues are corporations that exist to preserve their reputation and the exclusivity of their admittance. Low supply, high demand = massive profit.
@Mekehl degradation of people is absolutely pathetic. What do you know?
I really appreciate this. My daughter is at an exclusive private school in VA, and she feels like a nerd among nerds. We have to remind her of her worth, daily. You've done well, and are a valuable asset to your fellow citizens. Thank you!
The thing is, at some point the cocoon bursts and your child has to step out of academia. Then they end up at some work place along with all kinds of regular people. It can be a culture shock to realize that you have been living in a bubble, and that many of the things that you missed growing up are the very touchstones, cultural references, and common experiences, of the rest of society. You end up being a kind of intellectual cultural alien among your own countrymen.
@@jonothandoeser ^ this. I came from an exclusive private school before college, went to another private university and then entered the corporate world surrounded by people I had to learn to relate with.
@@jonothandoeser hmm I found d it refreshing being in a cutthroat environment to a laid back one with regular people. So much easier to be friendly and focus on one's own progress when environments are not cutthroat and overly competitive. I think her education will make the workforce easier and more enjoyable!
@@liftingisfun2350 but you are right!! I am still trying to relate to people!!!
@@samanthab6642 Not everyone has the same reaction of course. And relieving as it may feel to some, the point is that they do not share the name background as those they now work with. They are used to everyone around them working at a certain level, suddenly nobody is working at the level of pressure. Many who are used to a high-pressure, highly competitive environment continue to be VERY competitive, to a fault.
I didn’t go to Harvard, (I went to Cornell feel free to roast me lol), and I couldn’t agree more. I can’t speak on what it what was like to be a POC (Im a white dude) but even I felt incredibly out of place as someone who went to public school in the midwest. The best moment in my 4 years ended up being the second semester of my junior year when I had a severe medical emergency that let me take a break for a semester. All in all you are not alone. These institutions are really tough and I am not sure Id ever recommend them to anyone else.
You make me feel good about being an engineering major at Georgia Tech. It was brutal, for me anyway, but I wasn't constantly competing. Graduation day was more of a relief than a happy time. My degree did pay off, so I'm happy about that.
Shout out Gatech. I felt like that was the best of both worlds (I did Compsci), very intelligent classmates but not a toxic competitiveness. But yes they really make it hard for you to graduate, I thought that too.
This is so interesting to hear. A friend of mine didn't like the atmosphere so she transferred to MIT. Another friend who went to Harvard got depressed & became hyper religious, & never got a solid career going. Still others continued their streaks of success after Harvard. Congratulations on all your accomplishments!
Does MIT have a different atmosphere though? I mean it's still an ivy league
@@aiva729 MIT is not an Ivy League
@@aiva729 No it’s not. Ivy league schools are harvard, princeton, yale, dartmouth, upenn, columbia, cornell, and brown.
@@aiva729 It’s not an Ivy, but it is the #1 ranked uni so elitism and a hyper competitive atmosphere is most likely still prevalent.
What do you considered hyper religious. ?
Ahsante, I appreciate your honesty. I am Harvard Class of 1993 - Leverett House. One of my earliest memories of the competitive environment was when I was applying to join a freshman seminar. There were a few slots open and someone was a war refugee, another was an award-winning writer... needless to say, I did not get in. The recruiting environment was ridiculous too - so many ultra-skilled, qualified Harvard seniors applying for too few job opportunities. You talk about the loneliness and impact on one's self worth: so many Harvard students face those same daily battles but the College doesn't do much to help. It's sink or swim. I encourage you to retain the positive experiences and let go of the negative ones. In the years to come, you may face different struggles when your former classmates are successful businesspeople, authors, politicians, etc. and you may feel like you don't measure up. Don't give in to comparison but instead value your relationships with loved ones, your community, and your workplace.
I hate hearing that a war refugee had to exploit their trauma for better education 😬
@@bodyofhope it’s not better education. It just gives you more connections than other people.
I’m sorry but I just had to reflect on this part “I was applying to join a freshman seminar…” the hyper exclusivity of it all. There’s no reason that all that social pressure is doing anything to help students.
@@bodyofhope I'd rather give a war torn refugee opportunity than a spoon fed brats
@@good-tn9sr based on...? A lot of bitter, jealous people out here
Your videos have helped me reach over $180,000 in trading by age 23! Thanks Ahsante . Keep the videos coming. 👍🏽
Congrats ! i made a lot during covid from my passive income .
I'm convinced that the big investors and analysts are trying to scare us to keep us poor and ignorant to the market.. because its steady doing good after all the jobless and market crash talks
Congrats and wishing you the best .
@kim sun When I was 20 ,but you need a finance Pro if you don’t want to loose and if you want to be more successful.
@kim sun Follow⬇️⬇️
I'm honestly so glad this popped up on my recommendation page - I'm not at Harvard, but as a first year chemistry student at Oxford University I can relate to a lot of what you described. When I first got here I felt disillusioned by the fact that I didn't feel like I was "living the dream" despite being at such a prestigious world-renowned uni. I had so many panic attacks and barely even socialised because I spent all my time studying.
I don't really understand the American obsession with an ivy league undergraduate education, especially if the student isn't continuing on to graduate school.
Ivy league schools have a cache that has built up over the years, and many prominent people in all fields have graduated from those schools. Only time will tell if that will continue going forward, given the shift in emphasis from test scores to ethnicity and diversity considerations, which will lead to more of the "best and brightest" going elsewhere.
As Ahsante said, a degree from any Ivy League, especially Harvard, puts you ahead of all the other candidates applying for a job.
England has Oxford and Cambridge. Other countries have their own elite institutions. In California even some state UC schools have better reputations.
@@ron88303 Oh so test scores now come secondary to race? Maybe that's likened to getting accepted through family lines. Perhaps neither really are deserving. I would love to see the statistics on the two. Especially with the narrative that people of color only are accepted to fill a quota. But everyone else is accepted on merit alone. 👽
@@helloandgoodbye605 I agree with your family-line comment, and the statistics would be interesting. Maybe it's the case of two wrongs making a right. But people of color are also rejected to (presumably) fill a quota; some asian groups come to mind. I don't doubt that most of those admitted to Ivy League schools are highly intelligent, and the bar is probably high enough to allow for some tinkering without diluting the product.
I just felt sad the whole time I was listening to you talk about your experiences at Harvard. So glad you could take a step back now, see what was going on, talk about it, and heal from such a toxic environment. Ain't nobody got time for that!
yeah, i felt sad too, this is what we are putting our top students through? i felt sad for her and other students but also thought what a waste. In a world where what we need more than anything is to learn how to work together we are teaching our brightest, most gifted and most driven young adults the inverse.
So happy you made this video.
In HS I was obsessed with getting into an Ivy League, but now I am so happy I never was accepted. It sounds so disconnected from the real world and really snobbish.
Great video and very accurate. I spent 16 years working there and I can tell you the toxic environment isn't limited to just the students. They care far more about their reputation than they ever will about their students or employees.
My genius father got his Masters from Harvard in math or physics. Never was clear to me which one. I grew up being super impressed & bragged about how smart MY DAD was. Eventually I figured out that the man had poor people skills & very little common sense. He was an electrical engineer, who couldn’t replace an outlet. Flames🔥shot out of the wall when he tried. My loving mother saved him from a life of desperate loneliness.
Electrical engineering is not easy anywhere...the mathematics and physics is not to be fooled with or joked about.
You said he had no common sense
The only bad things about most engineering studies I believe is we just read the book pass and live following the rules and laws we learned at college or university without thinking outside the books like mathematician and physicist
Some don't even know how to use their hands like your father
Am sure he could have been good as a mathematician or physicist
Ungrateful.
Very well stated my dear
Yikes
This is comedic.☺
As someone who has friends from both Ivy's and outside, Ivy's are never really your best friends because that would make them vulnerable which is absolutely ridiculous and shows how elitist and lonely these people are in reality. It is sad.
Being a student of a top Dutch university, I must say how incredibly thankful I am for the emphasis on mental health here, plus the very inclusive environment of various so-called 'committees' of the student associations. There are also fraternities and sororities here but are thought to be exclusive, so I just let them enjoy themselves.
Seconded :)
TU Delft :-)
I did a semester at Harvard, taking a class at the HKSG, while pursuing my degree at BU. You are spot on about the culture and competitiveness. Malcom Gladwell said it best in his book, David and Goliath," better to be the big fish in a little pond."
I will say being in an environment like Harvard WILL prepare you for making it in the corporate world. The corporate world is just like this, but less obvious about it... I personally cannot stomach the feeling and the games. Meaning I have to work for small companies or have a skill that doesn't require talking to people much and more focused on just completing tasks.
Not true, you are enough no matter where you go in life, so F everyone and be strong
All for what? At the end family and being genuinely happy is all that matters
@@patrickrumbu2902 for money? So you can live? Lol hard to be happy when you can’t afford rent.
@@Arodnyc72 you need money, kid lol
@@UdoADHD I feel you Omen, seen & listened to a lot of great/wealthy peeps..yes money helps esp to cater for those you love but should not be the ultimate.
I am tempted to say I just want milk in my fridge😚 and a girl of my dreams and am good but yeah I want to be able to provide for my peeps
I now understand the toxicity of elitism. In the end, everything is subjective-and it takes connections to get ahead, not merit
I earned a master’s degree from Stanford. They treat graduate students with a lot of respect there. At least, that was so in 1980-81. If you wanted - depending on the instructor - you could write a research paper to satisfy 100% of your grade for a class. I was certainly aware of the rarified air (social and academic) that characterized the university, but I didn’t know anything about cliques or clubs or being excluded from anything. I felt honored to be there and left with no regrets.
This was my exact experience in law school. Didn’t go to Harvard but literally everything you described is what I experienced and it was horrible. Afterwards, like you I also spent the following 5-6 years healing and trying to move past it all.
Went to Cornell. I was a Junior transfer from a Umich and it has been my lifelong dream to attend Cornell/ any of the Ivies. Upon arrival, I had such a terrible experience of burnout that resulted in depression and anxiety and ended up taking a gap year. I realized I was much happier at Umich. Although the culture at Cornell was not as toxic as Harvard, I relate to the experience of working hard you’re entire life to arrive at a place only to find out you must struggle and work even harder. I’ve been healing for the past two years and even though I’m not as financially stable as my peers, I’m so glad I didn’t join the corporate rat race afterwards. Don’t get me started on the financial burden as an international student! Thank you for this video.
Good on ya 👍 wishing you the best
I went to Cornell for engineering, and I had a friend who went to UPenn for undergrad (math major) and Cornell for grad school and he was a TA for engineering math. He could not believe how much work Cornell students had and was so happy he didn't go to Cornell for undergrad (he said it made UPenn a party school). There's a reason why Cornell has a reputation for suicides, though after seeing the anti-suicide "nets" installed by the bridges, wondered what kind of impression that was making to prospective students. Cornell is a tough and stressful place!
Burnout is seriously no joke! That can knock you out for years (speaking from experience here). I'm glad to hear you've been recovering and that you found an environment that works better for you.
I went to Cornell as well and studied Engineering. The workload was horrible. My burnout got so bad that midway through junior year I just couldn't tolerate going to class anymore, and then my physical health went to pieces, so I had to take a leave of absence. At the very least I was blessed with friends and classmates who had more of a "we're in this together" mentality than a "we're competitors" mentality. And I had some very supportive professors too. Perhaps I was lucky since my major was relatively small and close-knit. No one seemed to judge me for repeating classes or graduating later than average. I don't know if I would've managed to graduate if I had to face social judgement on top of the academic stress. But of course my experience could be quite different from others' experiences, since Cornell is quite big, and I don't know how the social dynamics would play out in other pockets of the school.
Dang, I was getting lots of correspondence from Cornell and for a hot minute I thought about moving across the country to Ithaca. In the end, I balked at the then tuition price of $29,000 a year and went to UCLA for fraction of that. I had a lot of fun doing my undergrad. What you experienced just confirms that I made the right decision.
Auntie Kamsy long time no see
This was exactly my experience at Juilliard many years ago. Thank you so much for talking about this openly. I think even knowing that others are going through the same things has been the most healing thing -- back then, before CZcams and social media, so many of us were suffering in these exact ways, and thought we were alone. And on the other hand, you're absolutely right: it's impossible to know how many people saw that degree after my name and took me more seriously.
As I'm sure you're now aware, there's a whole slew of Julliard grads this happened to. Viola Davis among them, I believe. I hear she had to take off time and that she doesn't really like talking about her experience attending the school.
I'm dismayed to hear how hostile the environment at Harvard is. I went to Princeton from a public high school and was amazed to find that the students (in most majors) weren't in hostile competition with one another at all; while there were some application-based classes or clubs, I felt that every effort was made to encourage experimentation and allow students to try new things. For me, life after college has felt much more irrationally exclusive, competitive, and antagonistic than college ever did.
Just listening to this is raising my stress levels. The best learning communities, in my humble opinion, are ones that encourage the exploration of interests in low-stakes, fail forward, environments, and the formation of authentic relationships. This is particularly true when you think about what it is we actually need as human beings, that is to say, health, belonging and freedom; everything else is mostly nice-to-have.
I ran into a lot of that at Drake University. The first question meeting others was, "So ... what does your dad do for a living?" Pretty heavy for a bare footed gal from the Florida beaches.
The people I know who went to Yale, Harvard, and Princeton were not top of their classes. They had money. People with money get to go.
And have jobs ready for them when they graduate. Meanwhile you middle-class will get stuck with six-figures of debt and no job.
I think she said they give scholarships as well. But people with money can probably buy their way in
THAT'S what she's doesn't get mate. These places are built for rich people not ordinary folk like us
Wrong, even with low-income, you can still get scholarships and credits to give you a boost ahead on finical fees. If you go to community college, you can earn a good amount of credits plus a scholarship, meaning that a good chunk of your debt will be paid off.
@@adangamez3608 while you need a scholarship to pay for things, those kids there had trust funds set up in their names the very day they were legally given a name. It's a place for rich people to go and be petty about stuff
It's sad to hear that Harvard has such an exclusive mentality. I understand that a top university has to have extraordinarily high standards; if you can't manage the academic demands, perhaps you shouldn't be there. But mental health and well-being are SO important. I studied at Oxford University, and some of the things you mention sound familiar. I remember hearing, during my first year, that a girl had committed suicide after stressing over exams. And what you said about the reading lists for assignments really hit home. There was NO WAY I was ever able to do more than scratch the surface of any reading list, and I always thought I wasn't doing enough, that I was somehow faking it. There never seemed to be enough hours in the day to do all the work you had to do, yet somehow you survived from one week to the next. There was never a day you thought: "Good, I feel on top of things now."
On the social side, over there people were quite welcoming in clubs and extracurricular activities. There was no selection process to get into social clubs. Even sports teams were accessible to everyone. I signed up for the rowing team of my college, and had a lot of fun. Naturally sports were competitive, so if you wanted to get into a top team, or row for the "first eight" of your college, you had to be seriously good. What I mean is that you could take it as seriously as you liked.
I remember realising in the first week EXACTLY what you describe; everyone was as intelligent as me (or more than me), everyone had over-achieved at school, everyone had got straight A's in A-levels (that's the British system). It felt quite intimidating, but it didn't take me long to find some really kind people who I could fit in with.
Overall, my experience of Oxford was probably more positive than yours at Harvard. I certainly think it was worth it, although in my case I don't think having an Oxford degree has really opened that many doors. Like you say, it's hard to know to what extent this has had an effect on others. What I took away from my time at Oxford: 1) learning how to research a topic, and how to THINK 2) meeting loads of really interesting, clever people 3) learning how to organise your time to achieve to greatest results in the time available.
I hope this may be interesting or of use to some people out there. God bless!
This sounds highly toxic, so sorry you had to go through this! Thanks for sharing.
I was recruited to several Ivy Leagues, including Harvard and Yale. Never like the energy or atmosphere on pre-enrollment visits, so went to and graduated from a more normal uni. Sure, I probably give up millions in potential earnings(no kidding), but quality of my uni experience was more important.
Yeah bro i say you should follow what makes you happy instead of stressful
@@juancena840 Exactly right you are, bro. Peace and Blessings.
You didn’t
Zoomer
Where did u end up going?
Sounds dire…but even worse, most professions in most industries are now (and have been for long time) TEAM BASED. While a competitive environment can help “top students” to thrive, it’s not always helpful long term. If “individuals must compete” becomes the default setting, then those people will graduate thinking that they have to “beat out” their colleagues, who are often on the same team working towards a common goal. Also, if the only people you interact with are “top performers,” then it really doesn’t prepare you for working in teams with those who are low performers or simply not competent (but you don’t have the power to change the situation).
I felt that, even if I’m not a Harvard student. I’m a “golden child”
@@jeeniefl8022 …and I’ve been on hiring committees where we had Harvard applicants. There were concerns about retention, while also potentially losing out on applicants who were not Ivy League but would be better “long term” fits.
Wow u make a good point
@@emjai2122 I was in a similar situation. I was part of a team who had to select about a dozen or so candidates, and we had 2 Ivy League graduates in the list. We went with the state university candidate because, while the Ivy Leaguers had a plethora of personal accomplishments, the State graduate had a lot more ground level experience that meant he would understand what the lower tier positions would be doing.
I really hate "teams" where I'm carrying them, because that is not a team it's a parasitic relationship.
These "teams" make it harder for you to work in a real team with ppl of similar (better usually) skill and/or drive as you do.
When I visited Harvard, I got turned off with their attitude and decided not to apply. So I applied to a smaller college, got accepted, and it worked out well.
I went to the European equivalent of Harvard and this sent chills down my spine because I could relate so much
Soborne? Royal Swiss Uni? Swiss polytechnic institute? Can you please share, I am curious
Thank you for sharing this! I know there are some benefits, and as you said it was worth it for you, but I never understood the obsession with going to an Ivy League School unless it was for the credentials. It seemed like a breeding ground for mental health issues and loneliness to an extreme degree. It’s definitely for some people, but not for everyone, and I wish this was talked about more. As someone who went to community college and lives at home for university, definitely do whats best for you. Some of my friends who thought I was crazy for living at home are telling me they wish they stayed home, while others are super grateful they went to university. No one path is right for everyone.
Absolutely agree - you've got to do what's best for you! There's no universal best solution for where to get your education or how to start off your professional career.
As international students who want to go to graduate school in the states you kinda want to go an ivy so you can have a more secure place in grad school and also so all the hard work was worth it
Harvard College is really expensive but has been overated,
I applied back in 2002 and yet it is quite tough to appreciate the College.
At 5 Percent the Admissions rate Is one of the lowest for entry in the world.
Why should such a school accept 69.000 Applicants per year.
God help the African students especially the Ghanaian and the Congolese students.
@@noorykorky5056 Correct on all points.
@@jamesbedukodjograham5508 If you make less than $80k/annually, you're on financial aid. If you make more than that, you pay 10% of tuition.
Believe it or not, 70% of students are on financial aid. It's expensive, yes, but you're likely not paying much. 20% of students and their families, dont pay anything.
I will say Harvard is mentally expensive, lol. It cost me a lot of my mental and emotional health.
Financially, I did do some psychological studies for extra money tho, lol
I got accepted to all the Ivy Leagues. I went to UCLA--to be closer to home. I'm a refugee kid who had family obligations. I went to UCLA. It was awesome. Education in the USA is very forgiving. I'm older now--middle age--and mostly suggest to young people, especially in this time of uncertainty where distance learning is the norm, that they just do two years at a community college. Truth be told: I actually thought community college was where I was headed. I didn't have any grandiose expectations. I literally had no idea what the SAT was. My big ambition was to either be a cashier at the Supermarket or a piano player at Nordstrom. I'm mostly happy that I have zero student debt. So this is why I have never had to make many money-driven decisions.
My most productive education was in grammar school. I went to a tiny Catholic school in the 1960s. I learned how to read, how to have legible handwriting and how to reason. I remember taking aptitude tests and hating them. I was always placed in the college track curriculum despite having no idea what that meant other than I was steered away from learning how to cook, sew and type. I graduated from university with a Liberal Arts degree from Wayne State University. All my employers were interested in is that I graduated, none of them even asked for a transcript. I’m retired now. I’m overjoyed to be out of the unending competition of the workplace.
Statistically speaking, you probably didn't lose out much money wise. There is a lot of data that says people who are accepted, but do not go to Ivy League schools, do just as well as people who do accept.
@@carolynngockel3670 That probably means that acceptance itself is essentially a credential (or a "certification of academic ability"), because it is the result of a competitive screening process. I received my undergraduate degree from Cornell, and my graduate from the Univ. of Georgia. As far as classes go, I would say that at Cornell, 40% were excellent, 40% were mediocre and 20% were poor. At UGA, 20%were excellent, 40% were mediocre, and 40% were poor--however, there was an issue going on with my department at UGA in which many of the faculty were committed to research but rather apathetic to teaching. An independent committee came in and verified this problem--hopedly, new blood in the faculty has alleviated this problem.
I've always been surprised when I read that many high school students don't know things that I knew when I was in, let's say, 6th grade. However, I've concluded that there are great differences among students, and I was one whose college-educated parents valued education, and I was "nerdy" enough to take it to a greater extent such that when I was in 6th grade apparently some test concluded I was capable of 9th grade work. I guess the bottom line is that high school students vary tremendously, and I've become convinced that even an relatively "unknown" university can provide an excellent education if the student is motivated to make the most of it. However, I'm fortunate enough to have graduated high school 51 years ago, back in the days when students were expect to behave properly in class and all the teachers were sincerely interested in teaching.
I definitely agree with the community college statement. They say only 38% of people that go to college, actually graduate. There’s no need to create the debt if statistically you may not graduate. Test yourself in a community college. If you make it then transfer if the degree you want and can actually get employed in, requires a 4 year degree.
@@bobjacobson858 "That probably means that acceptance itself is essentially a credential (or a "certification of academic ability")"
Agreed.
Thank you for this video. I relate on so many levels.
I didn’t go to Harvard but had the same (bad) experience in a prestigious/ultra competitive university.
Rose and thorn kind of situation? I’m happy that you made the best out of it!
I’m sorry you had this experience. Your family sounds great! That’s invaluable.
Thank you for sharing.
“ Doing your best and facing constant rejection “
You just described the life of an actress
Not for the faint of heart!
This is the life of everyone.
This is life.
@@IAmJaguarPaw.ThisIsMyForest. Most people don't do their best.
Boo hoo
😂😂
Thank you for being honest and sharing your experience!!! Oddly enough, I felt this way about going to Spelman College (often known as the “black” Ivy League). Similar to you, now that I’ve graduated I am grateful to have Spelman on my resume and I do see how the alumnae connection is very strong. However, my experience during undergrad was extremely toxic.
Dominique, I was watching this thinking that it sounded like Howard. Lol
Someone had to go there.
Yeah i currently attend Spelman and i honestly don’t get why it’s ranked #1, albeit I’m not a stem major. I’m also a transfer student so the transition ruined my experience for me. If i wasn’t in my senior year i probably would have transferred
I like how composed you are,thanks for the info
the way you speak is so engaging. You have SUCH a way with words!!!
My grades wouldn't have even gotten my foot in the state of Massachusetts, let alone in Harvard!
🤣🤣🤣🤣
😂😂😂😂
I bet you’re still great. :D
Facts
me too T_T
Listening to 10 minutes of your vid, I'm exhausted. Very glad I was rejected at Harvard. My undergrad experience was tough but much more inclusive. This is craziness.
I always wanted to go to Harvard however I never applied for it since I'm from Canada and the barriers at the time were far too large. I did, however, end up going to law school in Canada and becoming a lawyer which seems to bring similar challenges by way of enjoying the prestige/privileges at a great personal and mental cost. GREAT video btw!!!!
Thank you for sharing your experience! I attended an Ivy League university as well. I was a foreign student and my experience was the same! I had to recover mentally after college. I developed OCD. Of course the name of the school opened doors for me but I definitely payed a high price for that. I also felt so smart going in but ALL the students were smart. I would probably do it again but this time and I would take care of my mental health a LOT more.
I have a daughter who graduated from Yale and based on her own experience there I sure have a sense of the intense pressures you talked about undergoing regarding going to an Ivy league institution. Best wishes to you and all other Ivy league students of minority backgrounds and non mainstream cultures.
it has nothing to do with skin color or class or wealth. it is what happens when highly skilled people compete against one another.
@@ak203
OK Alex.
non mainstream??? Are you from some other planet?
@@Michelle-pn9xt
Is "mainstream" used to describe planet earth?
@@ak203 you sure love going to each comment on this video
Take it from someone whose been successful in corporate America as a minority. You do not need to go to an elite school!!
I went to grad school at Harvard, which is much different from undergrad concerning cliques and clubs. I'm a black male and loved my Crimson experience. I had zero complaints outside of the ridiculous amounts of reading given each night. I didn't want to read or write anything after graduating. lol The worst experience about Harvard is how people treat you after graduating. It's all bad! lol. Most people can wear their college gear and feel proud. But for some reason, when you wear Harvard gear, people will speak on it sometimes in a disparaging way. So my friends who graduated from HBCUs can brag all they want about attending "The Mecca" or "The House". I cannot brag...but I still rock my Crimson gear like everyone else rocks theirs.
beautiful video, well done for making it in such a challenging environment!
Going to an ivy league college; It's about who you know or meet and not so much what you learn.After you leave; connections...Ahshante enlightens all of us.Thank You.
Congratulations on being in a better place! I am very sorry that Harvard was so heavy, but it also resonnates with me working on my PhD. It maybe isn't always as competitive, but the "everyone here are experts, constant anxiety of being good enough" really crushes you. It took me a few years to get my mental health back afterwards.
Thank you! Yes to the anxiety about being good enough - that's interesting to hear from your perspective working on a PhD, I'm thinking I might try to pursue one eventually. I guess it's about taking that recovery time afterwards.
@@AhsanteB To me it seems that working in academia is a constant battle between not feeling good enough and having a massive ego. Pursuing a PhD is great, but make sure you know what you are getting into, beause it is also very challenging and very lonely.
I fell the same on my phd
Congratulations to your recovery 👏🏿.
I completed my PhD last December and I'm still recovering... I look forward to the day I'm completely healed.
Thank you for sharing your experience. It is important that people who consider these schools have a real idea what it will be like.
Well done and what I expected for the most part. Thanks for your insight and honesty!
There's only like three degrees worth going to Harvard for business, law and Medicine if it's not one of those degrees your at the wrong School, should do a cost base analysis on weather time and money / potential output in career
Especially engineering
at least if you go to Harvard one won't use 'weather' instead of 'whether'.
I would scratch business off the list! Parking $100k a year at Harvard over apple stock(28% annual return last 20+ years) makes no sense whatsoever!LoL
@@tahntalus : Harvard is worth it for an MBA degree, trust me.
@@briaf3370 Prescriptive grammar is secondary to descriptive grammar. As such, it is more indicative of human error rather than a genuine lack of understanding to begin with.
I’ve hired people from all backgrounds, Ivy League included, and hands down would take a smart and savvy community college drop out over 3 ivy leaguers any day of the week. I’ve found that the ivys tend to lean on their credentials which often have little to do with skill and or work output. The piece of paper opens doors and in many cases does get you the job which is weird but that’s life I guess. I work in high end commercial film production btw.
I don't want to say where I work, so let's just say it's a creative area as well. The only thing that I see all graduates have going for them is they seem to know politics better. (I obviously mean eg. corporate politics.) Mind you, I think that's an important skill. But if I want a project to be nice, successful, refreshing, up to specifications, match the brief, etc. etc. I don't think there's a huge difference between people with credentials. If we absolutely have to follow what the client says, I tend to prefer the solutions proposed by dropouts or people with no university experience at all. They tend to have a higher urge to listen to what the client has to say. University graduates tend to just go with whatever they were taught as university, can't always think outside of those boxes, and they tend to have a harder time facing that reality that the client ain't gonna pay if they don't get what they want (or what is in the contract).
I think I got interested in the subject when I was forced to work with Oxford graduates. 😂😂
Well in your field, you should value a graduate from UCLA or USC who have superior film curriculum than any Ivy league school. If once wants to work for a Wall Street firm and graduated from Harvard vs Tuscaloosa University, whom do you think will get hired>
@@andij605
Can you go into (corporate politics) a bit more?
I've worked with a couple of ivy league graduates. They came in flaunting their degrees and were initially bright eyed and bushy tailed, but quickly petered out when the rubber met the road.
@@meemee5660
What? Sorry low IQ'er here ;)
This was a good video. It was honest, truthful, and conveyed your experience succinctly. Thanks for sharing.