It's funny you showed a tweet from Mik Scarlet in your CZcams story - we used to work together a while ago, with another actress (Julie Fernández). We tried to get several TV ideas pitched, but noboewas interested. And now there's LOADS of it on BBC! 😭😤🤦
Best situation : me and the employee at Walmart working to gather to get the wheelchair user cart attached to my chair. I loved that she was interested and helpful and I loved that she wanted to learn because then she could help other people.
The "service daughter" skit struck me as particularly funny because my daughter is currently obsessed with pretending to be a dog and getting head pets.
I have a service daughter too! While I was waiting (and waiting and waiting) for my current service dog, my little girl was my "service dog" every time I left the house. She even learned how to counterbalance and help me off the ground.
Question timestamps: 1:17 What is the most wheelchair friendly country you've visited? 2:38 Best advice for Disney in a wheelchair? 3:16 If your channel wasn't dedicated to your wheelchair life, what would it be about? 4:22 What is the best and what is the worst situation you found yourself in because of your wheelchair? 8:45 Do I have any tips for people with invisible disabilities? 10:27 When I go to a restaurant, do I transfer into a restaurant chair? 11:44 Hardest thing about being in a wheelchair? 12:49 Have you ever thought about having a service dog? 13:51 Do you think about your life if you didn't have a wheelchair? 15:40 "last" question: What are your goals for the future? 16:09 What are some places you've always wanted to visit?
My most heartbreaking time that I was in a wheelchair... I went to the New Kids On The Block, Boys II Ken, Paula Abdul VIP Tour Concert. My husband got me 4th row from the stage in center. The heart Breaking part was that I could not use my tickets because I am in a wheelchair and they didn't want me to get trampled on the floor seating area. They told me I had to go and sit in the Handicapped seating area far from the stage. I still had a blast but I could not use these expensive tickets that we got from ticket master and we even told them that I was in a wheelchair. PS I could see my floor seats from our Handicapped seating area. No way in hell did people trample or come close to those seats.😔💔
I'm new to your channel and as a wheelchair user your videos have helped me so thank you 🙂 The worst thing that's happened to me was choosing my gcse subjects at school. Graphic design was one of my subjects and the people who looked after those with disabilities rejected it. They said a boy in the year above also in a wheelchair struggled with graphic design so that's why I couldn't do it. I did it after refusing to change my subjects and my helper was surprised when the teacher said I wasn't struggling at all.
I was almost in tears hearing you talk about a club not letting you in with your trainers 😔. And laughing along when you got to sit in the royal stand at the theatre incredible! Loved this vid thankyou! Xxx
Had my first disabled person pissed at disabled people experience today. So I'm new to wheelchairs yey. (I absolutely love my lean green eco machine). So I got on the bus with a legally blind woman. She started going off saying last time she was on the bus this man got on in a wheelchair and then transferred to one of the seats. She was telling him to get back in. I did try my best to explain with my little voice (thanks ms). But I don't think she could hear me. The other woman she was moaning at, to I tried to explain that our chairs aren't crash tested other than forwards and only up to 30mph so we're actually recommended to not be in our chair when travelling and sometimes it's simply nicer to transfer to a bus seat because it's comfier or better (personally I will at times need to because I get motion sick going backwards or just existing tbh again thanks ms). I was quite shocked tbh... I was tempted to transfer if I was able today, to wind her up tbh as bad as that sounds (I can fold my chair so I wouldn't actually be taking up any more space.)
Oh, I am so glad you had good accessibility in the US. My friend is an ambulatory wheelchair user here in the states and had to limit her college choices to schools that are accecible to her.
But Gem... In a way you do have an invisible disability as well! Your joint hypermobility and related issues like pain and fatigue can be considered an invisible disability, so you most definitely have qualifications there if people ask if you have advice on invisible issues :) For me the best situations with being in a wheelchair is definitely the people I’ve met in the past 6,5+ years, and the opportunities like the honor of spending two years on the national board for a youth disability organization. Those two years... It was a true honor and made me grow so much as an individual! I went from being a very shy person, to being one who can even speak some in front of people and who dares to take the argument about disability rights and accessibility with local politicians. Worst part about being in a wheelchair is most definitely the lack of wheelchair accessible seating at concerts! I’ve had to miss out on some I really wanted to go to, all because a certain venue (Scandinavium in Gothenburg) only has like 6-12 wheelchair spots at a venue with an audience of over 7000 and they won’t let you bring your wheelchair and move over to a regular seat or just move a chair at the end of a row of chairs and sit there in your wheelchair. Last time I wanted to attend a concert there they even said they couldn’t guarantee I’d be let in with a cane or crutches because it could have been seen as weapons! That’s when I said F them and decided to boycott that venue indefinitely until they become more accessible or at least change some of their policies to cater to more independent wheelchair users and people who are able to walk short distances and don’t rely on sitting in their wheelchair all the time. To me the wheelchair spots should be mainly for people who are unable to transfer independently or who can’t walk even one step, just so it’s known where people may need the most help in case the venue has to be evacuated. Me on the other hand, I can be anywhere really, if I just have access to my chair I can easily evacuate even if I’m sitting somewhere nearby my chair and not in it. But to deny me to bring it is on the other hand endangering me as I can’t walk far or fast which would become an issue if needing to evacuate a venue, I’d be out faster in my chair than on my feet!
I live in the United States. we have the ADA law that helps with making sure that we have access to almost all buildings. I would like to know if England has a law like this. I enjoy your videos. Thank you
Our laws aren't quite as strong as ADA, the problem I have with ADA is that it is so set out that people think it is perfect, but whilst a 1 in 12 slope is fine for going up three stairs it's not intended to be a way to go up three storeys and I have been places where there has been a horrendously long spiral ramp - it was at a theme park and there was no way to bypass it and the queue was on the ramp, it was horrendous. It feels like it is so prescriptive that people planning things take it as a code that describes all disabled people and don't actually think about the humans underneath.
I live in Japan and while my doctor said a wheelchair would be good for my pain management & preventing further joint destruction, Tokyo is one of the least wheelchair friendly places, because many entrances and store aisles are extremely narrow or only have stair access, so I’d probably have difficulty gaining access to places I currently can with a crutch or cane.
You can train your own family dog to be your own service dog. There is a scheme in the uk where you can get assistance with training and registration. Trainers come from orgs like rnib and others. Helps take pressure for the demand for support dogs
Oh I'm so sad to say invisible disabilities are still a huge problem in the states. I see people watching me since I look 100% healthy, in fact my over active muscle spasms make me look like a body builder. Look up Stiff Person Syndrome for reference. Anyway, people will see my legs move either voluntarily or not and then point. Your point about shopping is annoyingly correct.. the confusion of the motion from the crowd. Seeing at every persons butt or other side while in lines/cues. It is like reliving life at an 8 year old's perspective. The other issue with shopping is narrow areas in the stores. 10k sqft building and the clothing isles are so tight you can't roll down them... even people walking turn sideways.
Worst experience was going for a spa day for my birthday. The spa assured me that all the facilities were accessible but after getting there they had 3 set of stairs to access various parts of the facilities including the main changing area and disabled toilet. I will not be going back lol Best experience was our weekend to Edinburgh were everyone so so helpful and accommodating.
I had a lovely experience at a spa recently, only problem was when someone nabbed my dressing gown whilst I was in the pool, but an attendant go be a fresh one quickly.
You dont have to apologize for having Prada trainers. If you work for something and you have a chance to treat yourself do so with no apologies. Good for you.
The sunflower lanyard is really a very nice initiative. However, some people don't want to make themselves stand out like that, because of the stigma. I found it quite helpful with the mask wearing exempt. As the sensation of the mask in my face, heat building up, it makes me feel claustrophobic and I get super angry after a short while, I can't stand it for longer than 2 min or so..Then I am ready to explode. The struggles nobody sees - I find that the hardest, to make people understand - I am mobile and fairly healthy, apart from food intolerances and having to be very careful what I eat... and everything, so how is it that I struggle? And it can definitely hurt your feelings, when you feel invalidated, as things really DO stress you out, it's all the sensory stuff that uses up your spoons, combined with the socializing.. Many autistics prefer to socialize online. No sensory overload. You can do it from home. However, from time to time you DO like to meet a friend..but if nobody is around, it can get lonely too.. Many autistics have a need for an animal friend who helps them to calm them, so this is something house owners should be aware of that and allow such a type of pet ownership. When a family has to apply several times to get a dog for their autistic boy.. (with doctors orders) to get permission from house owner..that's just cruel..
Hi, everything you said in the second paragraph was spot on for my experience as well. What I also find really difficult is that some things that I was totally fine with in the past, sometimes slowly become more and more uncomfortable until they begin to be unbearable. I used to have no problems with carrots, but now I feel like trowing up unless they are prepared in one of the few very particular ways I’m still fine with. Then my dad keeps saying I used to like them and that I’m becoming super picky and that I can’t just eat the vegetables I like every time. The thing is, although I am becoming more picky, my taste (and textures I am okay with) are just changing. Nowadays I also eat mushrooms if they are balanced out by the rest of the dish, and I’m not disgusted by everything that even resembles cheese. (I don’t even dislike Melted Mozzarella anymore, so now I’m finally able to eat pizza like a halfway normal person, I’m okay with for example a pizza kebab, while I used to only like the pizza that would infuriate those the Italians. (Pineapple on pizza wasn’t bad enough, I wanted only pineapple, with maybe some ham if it was the nice kind. So basically I had the pizza, the red sauce, pineapple, and sometimes ham, but no cheese or mozzarella, and some Italians are okay with pineapple on pizza, but no cheese even though you aren’t allergic…) Luckily masks aren’t that much as a problem for me. Counterintuitively, I found that the ffp2 masks were less of a problem for me then the standard disposable ones or the reusable cloth once, since the ffp2 actually fit better, and don’t make me hyper aware of the fact that I have a mask on, and it keeps moving when I breath. I used to really want a cat or dog when I was small, but my parents refused, since I was only allowed one if i would take care of it myself, and we all knew I wouldn’t properly in the long run (although I refused to acknowledge that) In the end it turned out my eternal “cold” (I used to have a “cold” most days) was actually just allergies to the things you get in dust, as well as cats and dogs, so it probably was for the best.
I'd LOVE to see more travel content! One of my biggest dreams is to travel the world, but since I'm going to need a chair within the next few years, I'm nervous about access.
As some one with 'hidden disabilities' you often get looked at "your putting it on"/ What's wrong with you?" Do you know of any You tuber that is male and disabled (UK based?). I ask because whilst I love your channel, you do look at things (understandably) from a female perspective and some one who has an 'obvious disability' (I hate that phrase!). I get a lot of info entertainment from your channel. Have you had beer cans thrown at you? Or had others laugh/start calling you names? It does 'hurt'/ get you mad. I get fed up of having to 'explain' all the time whats wrong with me(Fibro myalgia, damaged nervous system, endocrine system, asthma). Some places are very good. Others are terrible. My local cinema is fantastic. Ever so helpful.
Did the theatre provide you with a tiara? 😜 👸 Worst experience I've had was being refused entry to a cinema on my own because I am also a "fire hazard". But here's the real kicker - I'd already been there SEVERAL TIMES on my own! 🤦
PageMonster it really sucks!!!! Hopefully things have changed! My fire hazard story is about 15 years old now!! But the building of the club is listed (the arches in Brighton) so I doubt it is 🤔
when there is a shop with terrible paths then i go loose like a red flag on a bull my grips are well protected and will take any obstruction without excuse🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️♿️💪💪 killer wheelchair
The fire hazard one (because of your chair) I’d DEFINITELY argue discrimination. I’d then go online and call them out on trip advisor, their website etc. I have 2 invisible disabilities. Epilepsy (thankfully under control) and a-typical autism. Yes things are better but there is sooooooo much more that could be done. One big one being housing. There are many that are high functioning that can do daily tasks on their own but they could not cope with paperwork/bills, they may need someone to just check on them once a day, they may need assistance with a specific thing but there aren’t many supported housing that caters for theses specific thing. We need more housing that just has a staff on call for when needed but otherwise you can live independently. A bit like some of the housing for elderly where they have their own flats and there’s a staff member on site for if assistances is needed. Yes there are assisted living for disabled but it’s usually for those who need greater help and there can be many restrictions put in place like when you can do cooking or you have to have a staff member with you when using the kitchen or you can only go out during certain hours etc. For many that are high functioning autistic these restrictions are just ok much and so they end up alone struggling or still living with parents/family.
Next time your in America a good disabled youtuber well worth a colab would be Wheels2Walking could certainly grow each others channels and he is extremely informative. Maybe put your own twist on some of his videos?
@@vanessavanderkramer6588 yes very inspirational and helpful. Would be great if they could do a vid together. Only found this channel through his as it was the next recommended video.
“MERICA” LOL!!! You said that with your very best American accent!! I love it! LOL! 🇺🇸 (I’m an America) I really love your channel. I have hEDS and a bunch of co-morbid conditions. Im a power chair user, however I can walk and stand. It’s just so painful that I only walk in my home & I never stand for more than a min or so, it’s too painful. Some days my hips dislocate so much that I physically can’t walk or stand. So I mainly identify with the wheelchair community. I’ve really enjoyed your channel and learning from some of your experiences. It’s been fun to see your family and how you do things. I’m a momma of 4 kiddos. One is away at University, I have two in high school and one in middle school.
awww love watching u gem lovley mood lifter and u dont pretend your all sweet and pstient wen people stand in your way or try to spoil something keep churing out the videos xxxxx
BTW, this is in the 4th paragraph of the description: "its important to keep your fitness levels up as much as possible as this can when physically and mentally with depression." Shouldn't it say "... as this can help with..." or something along those lines?
I've got to skip lines and get into places and parties that would've been full if I had to wait in line I've also been turned away from parties/small packed places as a "safety hazard to others" because drunk people will trip over me
Most pubs and clubs won’t let us chair users in because it makes them too anxious about fire safety OR it could be there’s 2 steps or more to the correct bathroom so they can’t let you in because they “aren’t accessible” again causing safety and rights issues (before I got my chair I trained as a “bouncer”)
Does anyone have advise for Disney with invisible disabilities? Last time i went to disney i ended up passing out in alone in an area where no one was. It was very scary bc out of nowhere i felt very sick and out of it and i left my group to go back to my hotel and got lost due to being so confused. I want to go with my boyfriend but im so scared i wont be able to enjoy it. I have only one diagnosis as of now which is fibromyalgia but im worried im not "disabled enough" to get accommodation. Also this was 2 years ago and im much worse now i get faint easy i get terrible pain in my back and hips and legs if i walk to long so any advice you could give would be!
I went hotel In majorca it should have been disabled friendly few years ago. The ramps were very steep. The staff would not help. I booked at the travel . The plannings should have a no idea . Some hotel. You can't get a your wheelchair up the side of the bed or to high for you.
I've been to Korea (before I was disabled) and it's not somewhere I would want to go in a wheelchair, maybe the 1988 Olympics came to early for that to make a difference, I'd hope 2020 would make a difference in the Tokyo area, but Japan is on my list of places I'm nervous of. So far my worst countries for disability experiences are either Spain or Italy, though I think my worst ever experience was in France. Holland was pretty good, as was getting there by the channel tunnel and getting back via the ferry.
Barcelona, Madrid, maybe elsewhere, some of it was very venue specific, central Barcelona was fine. Mummy opinion is if you have an entrance that is escalators then you should have a lift for wheelchairs, not expect us to walk almost a mile around the building to the back where there was a level entrance and armed guards that they hadn’t bothered to notify. If that really is your only option you need enough staff to actually escort your disabled clients.
10:37 I use a power chair and earlier on when I was younger I once went onto a Denny's on 500 South and 250 West in downtown Salt Lake City Utah. When I transferred to a booth the waitstaff told me that if I wanted to sit on the bench I would have to allow them to move my power chair away from the table due to "Fire Hazard". That would make it a danger for me because if the waitstaff was not able to get to me in the event of a fire and get my chair back to me I would be in danger. There was a different way that people could access the tables beyond where they seated me. It is not a good thing that people think that they can try to just tell you how your disability is supposed to work? 12:50 I have before thought about having a service animal but I have seen so many people who have them that have been treated so terribly and what they have had to go through that it really is scary. (P.S. If you could choose any type of animal for your service animal what would it be, other than a dog or miniature horse?) I will say that I understand more what it is like being disabled and the struggles have taught me things and my way of thinking is much different than the way I would have thought when I was younger. I was born legally blind but ended up using a power chair between JUN of 2001 after I was in a UTA Utah Transit Authority bus wreck. I started having problems after this event and as I started to not be able to walk and struggling to find out a real diagnosis and what it felt like when I would go and have a test done and get an answer from a doctor "I'm sorry that you are going through this but the tests came back ("Normal")". Where most people want the test results to come back as normal I wanted to get the opposite. I just wanted something that would let people know that it was real. As I struggled along my journey I have learned so much and can see a perspective that most people without disabilities will never see. I hope that you can do another Q&A video and answer my question above?
I think America is a lot younger and so more buildings are up to code. But y'all get healthcare, so... The streets and stores are so much better here--my experience is limited to London and Dublin but on the West Coast there are very few places I just can't go.
@@Wheelsnoheels my mate went to get tickets for ultravox.....I'm showing my age!! Lol and when he said his mate was a wheelchair user, the ticket for me was taken back.
never understood the fire hazard thing its not like if a fire starts im just going to sit there picking my nose like i was at a concert and i was half a micro inch near the step and i was told to move cuz that
Just an FYI for the people in the comments, you don't have to be in a wheelchair for a DAS pass. I can't do those lines unless their outdoor lines so I always get a DAS pass, sometimes I take my wheelchair and some days I'm having a good day and I leave it at home. - for y'all cheating the system lol stooop you dont skip any lines, you wait the same amount of time just not in the line, you still have to wait like an hour and if you can endure the lines and small places it's the same wait.
im in a wheelchair too, best thing about it is.... when i am on a night out i get the cutest women wanting too sit on my knee asking to go for a spin ;-) haha
Liam_PxTvArmy#HTD4LIFE Doherty That can’t be just because of the wheelchair. I’m in a wheelchair as well and most of them tend to avoid me like the plague when I’m on a night out. 😝
not to brag but i think the US is the most disabled friendly country thanks to us having things like the ADA which makes it mandatory for public places to be accessible for wheelchairs etc
Thank you, dear, to have let us see deep into your being, feelings andthoughts, too! I guess that exactly THIS chan help e.g. the more shy people to learn that their feelings are normal and they can be able to overget the feelings of not being good enough or not beenallowed to do or feel anylike!(Does the word "anylike exist or was it a birth of a new one?) I do have red rim covers around my rims, bu not only: First there are the normal black ones. But l wanted to like my chair l sit in and transport me on my own 98 to 100% a day. So l looked for different ones and found them at amazon. But: l could have got them with rilled profile or like mine, flat at all. Please tell me, where did you find yours? They look a bit like tyres of bicycles, 24"! Don't they? ARE they perhaps? Bamk to mines: l bought a pair myself - the first l got by my health insurance with a normal recipe of my normal doc- . So, l payed 63€ and two weeks later they came to me all the way from GB. these l put OVER my black ones! It took a little time until l found the right position but now l have so much more grip whenever l want to move! Bevore all 2 covers they are ca 5,4 cm around. With one of them: 9,5 cm, with both there are : tadaaa!: 12,4 cm!More than doubled from beginning! And: the red one is smoother, thicker, rmore comfortable to grip and dust and dirt doesn't find the way only to sit on them!the blacks l had to wash twice a day or my hands were dirty. The red ones l need 1 time in 3 days and my hands are and stay clean!The blacks are of gum and my reds are of silicone. They seem to be not to be loaded electrified as much as the gums are. Can you give me price and address of yours? No, l won't buy pink ones, l love red and liked to have mines a bit more" dark red" (darker red?), but l love the profile! Are they smooth or more hard? Please, tell me all about them!Yes, it seems a little thing, but first l sit in this chair every day lots of hours so it's nearly a part of me and so as much as l want my hair is dok or l like these trousers not that ones l'd love my wheelchair, too. And second: l like to be found quick when s.o.is looking for me and the rim covers rmake it so easy! And: last not least: with the covers comfort is so much more! Only when "earing handstoes it might be you get a bit trouble, but only if you grip and led semi - slide your rims they might kind of blow up (they don't but it seems to) and you must fix it whith 1 sec it needs :). Apropos fixing: with a bit of hairlack onto the metall and between the outer coat of first and inner coat of second rim cover you can fix the hold of the rim covers enormeously !!! Thanks for reading and more for answering my little question!Perhaps you can do a little vid of the rims and the comfort they bring to you? I don't need wheelhandshoes any more, only against cold wheather or to warm my hands and fingers if they hurt too much cause with an extra portion of warmth my hands are way better for me. Perhaps that can help others, too? I'd love if it were! So led me give you a hug in our minds and say bye to you! I pray for you! Be blessed! Yours, Conny L.
Hello Gem, I curious how you feel about strangers insisting on helping you. For example today ,I went to the grocer and a lady would not take no for an answer when she asked if she could help. I told her I was fine but she insisted on taking my items to the car. I thought she would leave but she wouldn't until she helped with my chair. Ugh . What do you think?
Not taking no for an answer is extremely rude. I don't think I've ever had anyone go that far. One lady was quite pushy about helping me in Tescos not long ago, such that some people may have caved, but she never touched my stuff when I politely and repeatedly said no thank you to her repeatedly asking me. I try and take the attitude that it's better that people ask, so whilst I found that interaction frustrating I'm trying to appreciate her intent. Somewhere like that if you really needed it, staff would help you take it to the car.
@@anneharrison1849 I agree with you so much. I try very hard to be independent, as we all do. But geez, she refused to take no for an answer. It made me feel like I crippled. I know she meant well, but making be feel like i cant do for myself made me feel defeated. How do you handle someone so intent? I live in Wyoming (USA) and the people here are some of the most polite I've met. They always want to help. It's almost a sin not to offer here. I must have been asked 10 to 12 times in a few hours. I politely thank them and decline. Are folks like this in the UK?
Shelly Haskell massively variable in the UK depending on region, I generally have appreciated moving north as I feel like people are more helpful with things like high shelves and generally just noticing you are there. You get a very different dynamic from staff as well. I’ve lived in the US and I get the impression that whilst we are smaller than most states we have a much wider variation of dialect and associated patterns of behaviour. I’m extremely good at saying no or stopping someone - and that applies in other areas, a lot of people will say they weren’t allowed to do something (often hospital related) and my response is did you ask and it’s frequently no. It would be ideal to have everything offered to us, but if you don’t ask you don’t get and whilst rules don’t apply to the general public you also need to be confident in saying no in health care situations and know your rights. I try to be very intentional about how I phrase things to communicate a positive message.
@@anneinthenorth582 That is interesting. Especially regarding the variability in dialect. I hadn't thought about that. As I read your comments, you a very well spoken lady. I do believe those would listen to you. It's been 3 years since my strokes and I'm still learning to adjust I suppose. I am bull headed and stand my ground with physicians and such. I suppose I should be more forth coming with those I encounter. When I was working my position was always at the executive level (PhD Chemist) in Houston Texas. I had no problem holding firm in the days past. Life has certainly changed. If you dont mind me asking, how long have you been a wheelchair user? I ask only because I have been learning so much from Gem and holding on to my stubborn streak. Lol
@@shellyhaskell4259 I almost wonder if it's a Wyoming thing - I live in Wyoming, too, and have encountered several people like that, though not to the point of necessarily taking no for an answer (there were a couple times, though, and the second one was super rude - someone tried to pull the door, which I had already opened, had in my grasp, and was in the process of trying to go through, out of my hand just so she could get in ahead of me, after purposely standing in my way and refusing to move even slightly so that I could get in, despite being politely asked). The thing that bugs me the most is people thinking that I can't open a non-automatic door by myself just because I'm in a chair, so I generally go one of two ways: -if I'm likely to encounter that person/those people again in that same situation (I attend a small weeklong seminar every summer, so I'm with the same people from breakfast until after dinner every day the entire week) is I make sure I put myself in a position where I'm the one who opens, and holds, the door for the whole group (usually means I make sure I get to the door first, whether going in or out), and that tends to make a statement (though last year I ended up resorting to going in the back door instead of the front door of one building (seminars were in one building, meals in another) because I was really tired of people trying to pull the front door out of my hands after I had already started opening it - when someone does that to me, I literally can't move because my balance gets thrown off so severely); either that, or I make sure there's no one else around who might try to hold the door for me so that I can open it in peace -if someone tries to grab the door out of my hand without asking, I basically tell him/her (how stern I am depends on the situation), "please let go, otherwise I can't get through", because one time when someone did, I nearly got pulled out the door, across the narrow raised sidewalk in front of the store, and the momentum would have carried me straight over the high curb (head first), my chair probably would have flipped, and who knows how far down the hill of the parking lot I would have slid before stopping, spraining, and possibly breaking, one or both wrists trying to keep myself from sliding into traffic and getting plenty of road rash (it was summer, so I was in either short sleeves or a tank top); I've also been half pulled out of my chair on level ground by someone trying to yank the door out of my hand to be "helpful" (my mom had to basically yell at him to get him to let go (that was some random visitor at the Arches visitor center - the rangers all knew better; I seriously considered purposely launching myself out of my chair as he was trying to pull it out of my hand, just to prove my point, but I didn't have quite enough momentum, and doing so would have pushed my chair backwards right into my mom, and I didn't want to do that to her); and someone insisted on trying to help me up a steep spot at the top of one of the trails near the visitor center at Carlsbad - I was almost in a panic because I wasn't expecting anyone to grab my chair without permission, and my mom had to actually yell at him to get him to let go of me). Then there are times where someone either asks or offers to open it before moving to the door, and I always say that I've got it, then proceed to open it and go through with zero issues, showing said person just how much "got" I have. So basically my approach with that is that I'm okay with someone holding the door for me if I'm not the only person they're holding the door for _and_ they open it _before_ I put my hands on it, but once my hands are on it, they're not allowed to touch it until I've finished going through. There have been places (both in WY and other places) where I've been asked 4 or more times in the space of 5-15 minutes, and although I understand where they're coming from, especially if it's a different person every time (when it's the same person following me around and asking me, that just makes me really mad - I've had that happen once or twice), it still drives me nuts, to the point that I'm planning to get a little sign to go on the back bar of my chair that says "If I need help, I'll ask. Thanks." so that I don't get that again, or at least not as often. In general, even if I decline the help that's offered, I will often follow it up with something to the effect of, "but thank you for actually asking instead of insisting". Which does two things, the way I look at it: 1) tells the person that asking first is the correct way to go about it, so that in the future, they're not likely to avoid asking someone, who may in fact need the help and would greatly appreciate having it, out of fear of being shot down for it; and 2) gently tells the person that while it might look like we might have/are having trouble with something, it doesn't necessarily mean we need help - usually we appreciate the thought that prompted them to ask, but it gently lets them know that at least some of us are able to do those things just fine on our own without help.
Love your channel. I can give a tip though if you are looking for a channel I myself enjoy that is pretty much abou invisible disabilities is StynaLane's channel Sick tired and alive (former alone) :) She is also hilarious.
I'm sorry but how is being in a wheelchair deemed a fire hazard in a club? I feel like they just gave you a bullshit excuse because that makes no sense
Whats the best situation you have found yourself in because of your Disability?
It's funny you showed a tweet from Mik Scarlet in your CZcams story - we used to work together a while ago, with another actress (Julie Fernández). We tried to get several TV ideas pitched, but noboewas interested. And now there's LOADS of it on BBC! 😭😤🤦
Best situation : me and the employee at Walmart working to gather to get the wheelchair user cart attached to my chair. I loved that she was interested and helpful and I loved that she wanted to learn because then she could help other people.
PageMonster always the way 😕
@@Wheelsnoheels Yep. We were ahead of our time..
Going to camp. Going to a SB association get together and then going to Six Flags with a friend who also has SB.
The "service daughter" skit struck me as particularly funny because my daughter is currently obsessed with pretending to be a dog and getting head pets.
"They were PRADA trainers!!!!!" I share your outrage Gem! How dare they!
hahahah
I have a service daughter too! While I was waiting (and waiting and waiting) for my current service dog, my little girl was my "service dog" every time I left the house. She even learned how to counterbalance and help me off the ground.
Question timestamps:
1:17 What is the most wheelchair friendly country you've visited?
2:38 Best advice for Disney in a wheelchair?
3:16 If your channel wasn't dedicated to your wheelchair life, what would it be about?
4:22 What is the best and what is the worst situation you found yourself in because of your wheelchair?
8:45 Do I have any tips for people with invisible disabilities?
10:27 When I go to a restaurant, do I transfer into a restaurant chair?
11:44 Hardest thing about being in a wheelchair?
12:49 Have you ever thought about having a service dog?
13:51 Do you think about your life if you didn't have a wheelchair?
15:40 "last" question: What are your goals for the future?
16:09 What are some places you've always wanted to visit?
My most heartbreaking time that I was in a wheelchair... I went to the New Kids On The Block,
Boys II Ken, Paula Abdul VIP Tour Concert. My husband got me 4th row from the stage in center. The heart Breaking part was that I could not use my tickets because I am in a wheelchair and they didn't want me to get trampled on the floor seating area. They told me I had to go and sit in the Handicapped seating area far from the stage. I still had a blast but I could not use these expensive tickets that we got from ticket master and we even told them that I was in a wheelchair.
PS I could see my floor seats from our Handicapped seating area. No way in hell did people trample or come close to those seats.😔💔
I'm new to your channel and as a wheelchair user your videos have helped me so thank you 🙂
The worst thing that's happened to me was choosing my gcse subjects at school. Graphic design was one of my subjects and the people who looked after those with disabilities rejected it. They said a boy in the year above also in a wheelchair struggled with graphic design so that's why I couldn't do it. I did it after refusing to change my subjects and my helper was surprised when the teacher said I wasn't struggling at all.
They work with Disabilitys THEY SHOULD KNOW THAT NOT EVERYONE WITH A DISABILITY IS THE SAME!!!!🤦🤦🤦🤦
I was almost in tears hearing you talk about a club not letting you in with your trainers 😔. And laughing along when you got to sit in the royal stand at the theatre incredible! Loved this vid thankyou! Xxx
Had my first disabled person pissed at disabled people experience today. So I'm new to wheelchairs yey. (I absolutely love my lean green eco machine). So I got on the bus with a legally blind woman. She started going off saying last time she was on the bus this man got on in a wheelchair and then transferred to one of the seats. She was telling him to get back in. I did try my best to explain with my little voice (thanks ms). But I don't think she could hear me. The other woman she was moaning at, to I tried to explain that our chairs aren't crash tested other than forwards and only up to 30mph so we're actually recommended to not be in our chair when travelling and sometimes it's simply nicer to transfer to a bus seat because it's comfier or better (personally I will at times need to because I get motion sick going backwards or just existing tbh again thanks ms).
I was quite shocked tbh... I was tempted to transfer if I was able today, to wind her up tbh as bad as that sounds (I can fold my chair so I wouldn't actually be taking up any more space.)
Haha I feel you! I would have transferred too, just to prove a point!
Oh, I am so glad you had good accessibility in the US. My friend is an ambulatory wheelchair user here in the states and had to limit her college choices to schools that are accecible to her.
But Gem... In a way you do have an invisible disability as well! Your joint hypermobility and related issues like pain and fatigue can be considered an invisible disability, so you most definitely have qualifications there if people ask if you have advice on invisible issues :)
For me the best situations with being in a wheelchair is definitely the people I’ve met in the past 6,5+ years, and the opportunities like the honor of spending two years on the national board for a youth disability organization. Those two years... It was a true honor and made me grow so much as an individual! I went from being a very shy person, to being one who can even speak some in front of people and who dares to take the argument about disability rights and accessibility with local politicians.
Worst part about being in a wheelchair is most definitely the lack of wheelchair accessible seating at concerts! I’ve had to miss out on some I really wanted to go to, all because a certain venue (Scandinavium in Gothenburg) only has like 6-12 wheelchair spots at a venue with an audience of over 7000 and they won’t let you bring your wheelchair and move over to a regular seat or just move a chair at the end of a row of chairs and sit there in your wheelchair. Last time I wanted to attend a concert there they even said they couldn’t guarantee I’d be let in with a cane or crutches because it could have been seen as weapons! That’s when I said F them and decided to boycott that venue indefinitely until they become more accessible or at least change some of their policies to cater to more independent wheelchair users and people who are able to walk short distances and don’t rely on sitting in their wheelchair all the time. To me the wheelchair spots should be mainly for people who are unable to transfer independently or who can’t walk even one step, just so it’s known where people may need the most help in case the venue has to be evacuated. Me on the other hand, I can be anywhere really, if I just have access to my chair I can easily evacuate even if I’m sitting somewhere nearby my chair and not in it. But to deny me to bring it is on the other hand endangering me as I can’t walk far or fast which would become an issue if needing to evacuate a venue, I’d be out faster in my chair than on my feet!
I live in the United States. we have the ADA law that helps with making sure that we have access to almost all buildings. I would like to know if England has a law like this. I enjoy your videos. Thank you
Our laws aren't quite as strong as ADA, the problem I have with ADA is that it is so set out that people think it is perfect, but whilst a 1 in 12 slope is fine for going up three stairs it's not intended to be a way to go up three storeys and I have been places where there has been a horrendously long spiral ramp - it was at a theme park and there was no way to bypass it and the queue was on the ramp, it was horrendous. It feels like it is so prescriptive that people planning things take it as a code that describes all disabled people and don't actually think about the humans underneath.
You should be so proud of what you have accomplished. I love your videos for both your upbeat attitude and your honest frustration and heartbreak.
Ah thats so lovely of you to say Sarah. Thank you it means a lot. x
I live in Japan and while my doctor said a wheelchair would be good for my pain management & preventing further joint destruction, Tokyo is one of the least wheelchair friendly places, because many entrances and store aisles are extremely narrow or only have stair access, so I’d probably have difficulty gaining access to places I currently can with a crutch or cane.
You can train your own family dog to be your own service dog. There is a scheme in the uk where you can get assistance with training and registration. Trainers come from orgs like rnib and others. Helps take pressure for the demand for support dogs
Oh I'm so sad to say invisible disabilities are still a huge problem in the states. I see people watching me since I look 100% healthy, in fact my over active muscle spasms make me look like a body builder. Look up Stiff Person Syndrome for reference. Anyway, people will see my legs move either voluntarily or not and then point.
Your point about shopping is annoyingly correct.. the confusion of the motion from the crowd. Seeing at every persons butt or other side while in lines/cues. It is like reliving life at an 8 year old's perspective. The other issue with shopping is narrow areas in the stores. 10k sqft building and the clothing isles are so tight you can't roll down them... even people walking turn sideways.
Worst experience was going for a spa day for my birthday. The spa assured me that all the facilities were accessible but after getting there they had 3 set of stairs to access various parts of the facilities including the main changing area and disabled toilet. I will not be going back lol
Best experience was our weekend to Edinburgh were everyone so so helpful and accommodating.
Buying the push rims you have, was my Best wheelchair Buy as it’s made self propelling so much easier. Thank you 😊
I had a lovely experience at a spa recently, only problem was when someone nabbed my dressing gown whilst I was in the pool, but an attendant go be a fresh one quickly.
I love you for talking about invisible disability. Thank you ❤
You dont have to apologize for having Prada trainers. If you work for something and you have a chance to treat yourself do so with no apologies. Good for you.
The sunflower lanyard is really a very nice initiative. However, some people don't want to make themselves stand out like that, because of the stigma.
I found it quite helpful with the mask wearing exempt.
As the sensation of the mask in my face, heat building up, it makes me feel claustrophobic and I get super angry after a short while, I can't stand it for longer than 2 min or so..Then I am ready to explode.
The struggles nobody sees - I find that the hardest, to make people understand - I am mobile and fairly healthy, apart from food intolerances and having to be very careful what I eat... and everything, so how is it that I struggle?
And it can definitely hurt your feelings, when you feel invalidated, as things really DO stress you out, it's all the sensory stuff that uses up your spoons, combined with the socializing..
Many autistics prefer to socialize online. No sensory overload. You can do it from home. However, from time to time you DO like to meet a friend..but if nobody is around, it can get lonely too..
Many autistics have a need for an animal friend who helps them to calm them, so this is something house owners should be aware of that and allow such a type of pet ownership.
When a family has to apply several times to get a dog for their autistic boy.. (with doctors orders) to get permission from house owner..that's just cruel..
Hi, everything you said in the second paragraph was spot on for my experience as well. What I also find really difficult is that some things that I was totally fine with in the past, sometimes slowly become more and more uncomfortable until they begin to be unbearable. I used to have no problems with carrots, but now I feel like trowing up unless they are prepared in one of the few very particular ways I’m still fine with. Then my dad keeps saying I used to like them and that I’m becoming super picky and that I can’t just eat the vegetables I like every time. The thing is, although I am becoming more picky, my taste (and textures I am okay with) are just changing. Nowadays I also eat mushrooms if they are balanced out by the rest of the dish, and I’m not disgusted by everything that even resembles cheese. (I don’t even dislike Melted Mozzarella anymore, so now I’m finally able to eat pizza like a halfway normal person, I’m okay with for example a pizza kebab, while I used to only like the pizza that would infuriate those the Italians. (Pineapple on pizza wasn’t bad enough, I wanted only pineapple, with maybe some ham if it was the nice kind. So basically I had the pizza, the red sauce, pineapple, and sometimes ham, but no cheese or mozzarella, and some Italians are okay with pineapple on pizza, but no cheese even though you aren’t allergic…)
Luckily masks aren’t that much as a problem for me. Counterintuitively, I found that the ffp2 masks were less of a problem for me then the standard disposable ones or the reusable cloth once, since the ffp2 actually fit better, and don’t make me hyper aware of the fact that I have a mask on, and it keeps moving when I breath.
I used to really want a cat or dog when I was small, but my parents refused, since I was only allowed one if i would take care of it myself, and we all knew I wouldn’t properly in the long run (although I refused to acknowledge that)
In the end it turned out my eternal “cold” (I used to have a “cold” most days) was actually just allergies to the things you get in dust, as well as cats and dogs, so it probably was for the best.
I'd LOVE to see more travel content! One of my biggest dreams is to travel the world, but since I'm going to need a chair within the next few years, I'm nervous about access.
I have a service daughter! 😂😂😂 That was hilarious!!
As some one with 'hidden disabilities' you often get looked at "your putting it on"/ What's wrong with you?" Do you know of any You tuber that is male and disabled (UK based?). I ask because whilst I love your channel, you do look at things (understandably) from a female perspective and some one who has an 'obvious disability' (I hate that phrase!). I get a lot of info entertainment from your channel. Have you had beer cans thrown at you? Or had others laugh/start calling you names? It does 'hurt'/ get you mad. I get fed up of having to 'explain' all the time whats wrong with me(Fibro myalgia, damaged nervous system, endocrine system, asthma). Some places are very good. Others are terrible. My local cinema is fantastic. Ever so helpful.
I love this video. So many of the questions and answers really made me think.
Did the theatre provide you with a tiara? 😜 👸
Worst experience I've had was being refused entry to a cinema on my own because I am also a "fire hazard". But here's the real kicker - I'd already been there SEVERAL TIMES on my own! 🤦
PageMonster it really sucks!!!! Hopefully things have changed! My fire hazard story is about 15 years old now!! But the building of the club is listed (the arches in Brighton) so I doubt it is 🤔
Wow! 😱🤯
@@punky19761 I should have gone back with a small kitchen fire extinguisher.
when there is a shop with terrible paths then i go loose like a red flag on a bull my grips are well protected and will take any obstruction without excuse🏴☠️🏴☠️🏴☠️♿️💪💪 killer wheelchair
The fire hazard one (because of your chair) I’d DEFINITELY argue discrimination. I’d then go online and call them out on trip advisor, their website etc.
I have 2 invisible disabilities. Epilepsy (thankfully under control) and a-typical autism. Yes things are better but there is sooooooo much more that could be done. One big one being housing. There are many that are high functioning that can do daily tasks on their own but they could not cope with paperwork/bills, they may need someone to just check on them once a day, they may need assistance with a specific thing but there aren’t many supported housing that caters for theses specific thing. We need more housing that just has a staff on call for when needed but otherwise you can live independently. A bit like some of the housing for elderly where they have their own flats and there’s a staff member on site for if assistances is needed. Yes there are assisted living for disabled but it’s usually for those who need greater help and there can be many restrictions put in place like when you can do cooking or you have to have a staff member with you when using the kitchen or you can only go out during certain hours etc. For many that are high functioning autistic these restrictions are just ok much and so they end up alone struggling or still living with parents/family.
The worst for me is when my more mobile friends forget I can't get somewhere as quickly as they can.
How have you not aged at all since that 2010 video..... MY MIND IS BLOWNNNNN 😝
Jane108 Mills to be fair, the video quality is not the best 😜
Next time your in America a good disabled youtuber well worth a colab would be Wheels2Walking could certainly grow each others channels and he is extremely informative.
Maybe put your own twist on some of his videos?
dom ino I love Richard’s channel too.
@@vanessavanderkramer6588 yes very inspirational and helpful. Would be great if they could do a vid together.
Only found this channel through his as it was the next recommended video.
dom ino Me too!
“MERICA” LOL!!! You said that with your very best American accent!! I love it! LOL! 🇺🇸 (I’m an America) I really love your channel. I have hEDS and a bunch of co-morbid conditions. Im a power chair user, however I can walk and stand. It’s just so painful that I only walk in my home & I never stand for more than a min or so, it’s too painful. Some days my hips dislocate so much that I physically can’t walk or stand. So I mainly identify with the wheelchair community. I’ve really enjoyed your channel and learning from some of your experiences. It’s been fun to see your family and how you do things. I’m a momma of 4 kiddos. One is away at University, I have two in high school and one in middle school.
awww love watching u gem lovley mood lifter and u dont pretend your all sweet and pstient wen people stand in your way or try to spoil something keep churing out the videos xxxxx
would love to see the wheelsnoheels here in Canada, we need all the extra attention for disabilities here as well
BTW, this is in the 4th paragraph of the description: "its important to keep your fitness levels up as much as possible as this can when physically and mentally with depression." Shouldn't it say "... as this can help with..." or something along those lines?
stan hope She is dyslexic and makes some grammatical and spelling mistakes without realising.
I've got to skip lines and get into places and parties that would've been full if I had to wait in line
I've also been turned away from parties/small packed places as a "safety hazard to others" because drunk people will trip over me
This video made me subscribe. Your humour and service daughter are fabulous.
Most pubs and clubs won’t let us chair users in because it makes them too anxious about fire safety OR it could be there’s 2 steps or more to the correct bathroom so they can’t let you in because they “aren’t accessible” again causing safety and rights issues (before I got my chair I trained as a “bouncer”)
Hi Gem, Thank you for sharing and answering so many different questions a very interesting tutorial 👍 all the best Lin x
I'm so with you about the clubbing. So annoying!
People with invisible disabilities: DO NOT apologize or explain.
Haha the service daughter made me laugh!
I really love your videos. They really educational and interesting
Thank you. I think you will find next weeks video very interesting. Im looking forward to sharing it
@@Wheelsnoheels oooh I'm excited for that video
I agree the my injury is exhausting
Does anyone have advise for Disney with invisible disabilities? Last time i went to disney i ended up passing out in alone in an area where no one was. It was very scary bc out of nowhere i felt very sick and out of it and i left my group to go back to my hotel and got lost due to being so confused. I want to go with my boyfriend but im so scared i wont be able to enjoy it. I have only one diagnosis as of now which is fibromyalgia but im worried im not "disabled enough" to get accommodation. Also this was 2 years ago and im much worse now i get faint easy i get terrible pain in my back and hips and legs if i walk to long so any advice you could give would be!
I went hotel In majorca it should have been disabled friendly few years ago. The ramps were very steep. The staff would not help. I booked at the travel . The plannings should have a no idea . Some hotel. You can't get a your wheelchair up the side of the bed or to high for you.
I've been to Korea (before I was disabled) and it's not somewhere I would want to go in a wheelchair, maybe the 1988 Olympics came to early for that to make a difference, I'd hope 2020 would make a difference in the Tokyo area, but Japan is on my list of places I'm nervous of. So far my worst countries for disability experiences are either Spain or Italy, though I think my worst ever experience was in France. Holland was pretty good, as was getting there by the channel tunnel and getting back via the ferry.
Anne Harrison where have you been in Spain? Because my best experience was in Barcelona
Barcelona, Madrid, maybe elsewhere, some of it was very venue specific, central Barcelona was fine. Mummy opinion is if you have an entrance that is escalators then you should have a lift for wheelchairs, not expect us to walk almost a mile around the building to the back where there was a level entrance and armed guards that they hadn’t bothered to notify. If that really is your only option you need enough staff to actually escort your disabled clients.
Anne In The North Oh I see, I wouldn’t like that either
LOVE Sliding Doors!
10:37 I use a power chair and earlier on when I was younger I once went onto a Denny's on 500 South and 250 West in downtown Salt Lake City Utah. When I transferred to a booth the waitstaff told me that if I wanted to sit on the bench I would have to allow them to move my power chair away from the table due to "Fire Hazard". That would make it a danger for me because if the waitstaff was not able to get to me in the event of a fire and get my chair back to me I would be in danger. There was a different way that people could access the tables beyond where they seated me. It is not a good thing that people think that they can try to just tell you how your disability is supposed to work?
12:50 I have before thought about having a service animal but I have seen so many people who have them that have been treated so terribly and what they have had to go through that it really is scary.
(P.S. If you could choose any type of animal for your service animal what would it be, other than a dog or miniature horse?)
I will say that I understand more what it is like being disabled and the struggles have taught me things and my way of thinking is much different than the way I would have thought when I was younger. I was born legally blind but ended up using a power chair between JUN of 2001 after I was in a UTA Utah Transit Authority bus wreck. I started having problems after this event and as I started to not be able to walk and struggling to find out a real diagnosis and what it felt like when I would go and have a test done and get an answer from a doctor "I'm sorry that you are going through this but the tests came back ("Normal")". Where most people want the test results to come back as normal I wanted to get the opposite. I just wanted something that would let people know that it was real. As I struggled along my journey I have learned so much and can see a perspective that most people without disabilities will never see. I hope that you can do another Q&A video and answer my question above?
A great video thanks
Really love your vlogs, Gem!
The United States as far as handicap access is the best, WHEN you can find that it is handicapped access enough for you to do what you need to do.
Chévere,me encantó saludos
Service daughter, haha! Loved that! :D
I think America is a lot younger and so more buildings are up to code. But y'all get healthcare, so...
The streets and stores are so much better here--my experience is limited to London and Dublin but on the West Coast there are very few places I just can't go.
About 30 odd years ago I was refused a concert in the Brighton centre because of being 'A fire bazzard....thankfully things have changed!!
Oh goodness. Yep my fire hazzard story is about 15 years old. I would hope things have changed. Who were you seeing in Brighton??
@@Wheelsnoheels my mate went to get tickets for ultravox.....I'm showing my age!! Lol and when he said his mate was a wheelchair user, the ticket for me was taken back.
never understood the fire hazard thing its not like if a fire starts im just going to sit there picking my nose like i was at a concert and i was half a micro inch near the step and i was told to move cuz that
Hi GEM AND FAMILY
I'm puppy raising a service prospect puppy. service dogs are awesome but hard work
How can you manage the pain during a flight?
What do you eat to keep weight down? I'm a wheelchair user as well
Just an FYI for the people in the comments, you don't have to be in a wheelchair for a DAS pass. I can't do those lines unless their outdoor lines so I always get a DAS pass, sometimes I take my wheelchair and some days I'm having a good day and I leave it at home. - for y'all cheating the system lol stooop you dont skip any lines, you wait the same amount of time just not in the line, you still have to wait like an hour and if you can endure the lines and small places it's the same wait.
I can't nessecarily manifacture anything but I am a game art/graphic design student!
im in a wheelchair too, best thing about it is.... when i am on a night out i get the cutest women wanting too sit on my knee asking to go for a spin ;-) haha
Liam_PxTvArmy#HTD4LIFE Doherty
That can’t be just because of the wheelchair. I’m in a wheelchair as well and most of them tend to avoid me like the plague when I’m on a night out. 😝
you living in the wrong town/city/country! lmao!!!
Liam_PxTvArmy#HTD4LIFE Doherty
I sure am. 😂😝
My boxer is my service dog😊
really??? I as thinking of training Booje
5:46 Royal...Box...? WOW!
6:35 I think I know what you're going to say.
6:57 Wait...what???
9:02 A-MEN!
13:31 LOL!
Disney World is the most accessible country. Nothing comes close. I’m considering applying for citizenship.
If the dog you showed in the video your pet or service dog and training
not to brag but i think the US is the most disabled friendly country thanks to us having things like the ADA which makes it mandatory for public places to be accessible for wheelchairs etc
Thank you, dear, to have let us see deep into your being, feelings andthoughts, too! I guess that exactly THIS chan help e.g. the more shy people to learn that their feelings are normal and they can be able to overget the feelings of not being good enough or not beenallowed to do or feel anylike!(Does the word "anylike exist or was it a birth of a new one?)
I do have red rim covers around my rims, bu not only: First there are the normal black ones. But l wanted to like my chair l sit in and transport me
on my own 98 to 100% a day. So l looked for different ones and found them at amazon. But: l could have got them with rilled profile or like mine, flat at all. Please tell me, where did you find yours? They look a bit like tyres of bicycles, 24"! Don't they? ARE they perhaps?
Bamk to mines: l bought a pair myself - the first l got by my health insurance with a normal recipe of my normal doc- . So, l payed 63€ and two weeks later they came to me all the way from GB. these l put OVER my black ones! It took a little time until l found the right position but now l have so much more grip whenever l want to move! Bevore all 2 covers they are ca 5,4 cm around. With one of them: 9,5 cm, with both there are : tadaaa!: 12,4 cm!More than doubled from beginning! And: the red one is smoother, thicker, rmore comfortable to grip and dust and dirt doesn't find the way only to sit on them!the blacks l had to wash twice a day or my hands were dirty. The red ones l need 1 time in 3 days and my hands are and stay clean!The blacks are of gum and my reds are of silicone. They seem to be not to be loaded electrified as much as the gums are. Can you give me price and address of yours? No, l won't buy pink ones, l love red and liked to have mines a bit more" dark red" (darker red?), but l love the profile! Are they smooth or more hard? Please, tell me all about them!Yes, it seems a little thing, but first l sit in this chair every day lots of hours so it's nearly a part of me and so as much as l want my hair is dok or l like these trousers not that ones l'd love my wheelchair, too. And second: l like to be found quick when s.o.is looking for me and the rim covers rmake it so easy! And: last not least: with the covers comfort is so much more! Only when "earing handstoes it might be you get a bit trouble, but only if you grip and led semi - slide your rims they might kind of blow up (they don't but it seems to) and you must fix it whith 1 sec it needs :). Apropos fixing: with a bit of hairlack onto the metall and between the outer coat of first and inner coat of second rim cover you can fix the hold of the rim covers enormeously !!! Thanks for reading and more for answering my little question!Perhaps you can do a little vid of the rims and the comfort they bring to you? I don't need wheelhandshoes any more, only against cold wheather or to warm my hands and fingers if they hurt too much cause with an extra portion of warmth my hands are way better for me. Perhaps that can help others, too? I'd love if it were! So led me give you a hug in our minds and say bye to you!
I pray for you! Be blessed!
Yours, Conny L.
The channel is named Jessica kellgren-fozard now :) (she got married)
Hello Gem, I curious how you feel about strangers insisting on helping you. For example today ,I went to the grocer and a lady would not take no for an answer when she asked if she could help. I told her I was fine but she insisted on taking my items to the car. I thought she would leave but she wouldn't until she helped with my chair. Ugh . What do you think?
Not taking no for an answer is extremely rude. I don't think I've ever had anyone go that far. One lady was quite pushy about helping me in Tescos not long ago, such that some people may have caved, but she never touched my stuff when I politely and repeatedly said no thank you to her repeatedly asking me. I try and take the attitude that it's better that people ask, so whilst I found that interaction frustrating I'm trying to appreciate her intent. Somewhere like that if you really needed it, staff would help you take it to the car.
@@anneharrison1849 I agree with you so much. I try very hard to be independent, as we all do. But geez, she refused to take no for an answer. It made me feel like I crippled. I know she meant well, but making be feel like i cant do for myself made me feel defeated. How do you handle someone so intent? I live in Wyoming (USA) and the people here are some of the most polite I've met. They always want to help. It's almost a sin not to offer here. I must have been asked 10 to 12 times in a few hours. I politely thank them and decline. Are folks like this in the UK?
Shelly Haskell massively variable in the UK depending on region, I generally have appreciated moving north as I feel like people are more helpful with things like high shelves and generally just noticing you are there. You get a very different dynamic from staff as well. I’ve lived in the US and I get the impression that whilst we are smaller than most states we have a much wider variation of dialect and associated patterns of behaviour. I’m extremely good at saying no or stopping someone - and that applies in other areas, a lot of people will say they weren’t allowed to do something (often hospital related) and my response is did you ask and it’s frequently no. It would be ideal to have everything offered to us, but if you don’t ask you don’t get and whilst rules don’t apply to the general public you also need to be confident in saying no in health care situations and know your rights. I try to be very intentional about how I phrase things to communicate a positive message.
@@anneinthenorth582 That is interesting. Especially regarding the variability in dialect. I hadn't thought about that. As I read your comments, you a very well spoken lady. I do believe those would listen to you. It's been 3 years since my strokes and I'm still learning to adjust I suppose. I am bull headed and stand my ground with physicians and such. I suppose I should be more forth coming with those I encounter. When I was working my position was always at the executive level (PhD Chemist) in Houston Texas. I had no problem holding firm in the days past. Life has certainly changed. If you dont mind me asking, how long have you been a wheelchair user? I ask only because I have been learning so much from Gem and holding on to my stubborn streak. Lol
@@shellyhaskell4259 I almost wonder if it's a Wyoming thing - I live in Wyoming, too, and have encountered several people like that, though not to the point of necessarily taking no for an answer (there were a couple times, though, and the second one was super rude - someone tried to pull the door, which I had already opened, had in my grasp, and was in the process of trying to go through, out of my hand just so she could get in ahead of me, after purposely standing in my way and refusing to move even slightly so that I could get in, despite being politely asked). The thing that bugs me the most is people thinking that I can't open a non-automatic door by myself just because I'm in a chair, so I generally go one of two ways:
-if I'm likely to encounter that person/those people again in that same situation (I attend a small weeklong seminar every summer, so I'm with the same people from breakfast until after dinner every day the entire week) is I make sure I put myself in a position where I'm the one who opens, and holds, the door for the whole group (usually means I make sure I get to the door first, whether going in or out), and that tends to make a statement (though last year I ended up resorting to going in the back door instead of the front door of one building (seminars were in one building, meals in another) because I was really tired of people trying to pull the front door out of my hands after I had already started opening it - when someone does that to me, I literally can't move because my balance gets thrown off so severely); either that, or I make sure there's no one else around who might try to hold the door for me so that I can open it in peace
-if someone tries to grab the door out of my hand without asking, I basically tell him/her (how stern I am depends on the situation), "please let go, otherwise I can't get through", because one time when someone did, I nearly got pulled out the door, across the narrow raised sidewalk in front of the store, and the momentum would have carried me straight over the high curb (head first), my chair probably would have flipped, and who knows how far down the hill of the parking lot I would have slid before stopping, spraining, and possibly breaking, one or both wrists trying to keep myself from sliding into traffic and getting plenty of road rash (it was summer, so I was in either short sleeves or a tank top); I've also been half pulled out of my chair on level ground by someone trying to yank the door out of my hand to be "helpful" (my mom had to basically yell at him to get him to let go (that was some random visitor at the Arches visitor center - the rangers all knew better; I seriously considered purposely launching myself out of my chair as he was trying to pull it out of my hand, just to prove my point, but I didn't have quite enough momentum, and doing so would have pushed my chair backwards right into my mom, and I didn't want to do that to her); and someone insisted on trying to help me up a steep spot at the top of one of the trails near the visitor center at Carlsbad - I was almost in a panic because I wasn't expecting anyone to grab my chair without permission, and my mom had to actually yell at him to get him to let go of me).
Then there are times where someone either asks or offers to open it before moving to the door, and I always say that I've got it, then proceed to open it and go through with zero issues, showing said person just how much "got" I have.
So basically my approach with that is that I'm okay with someone holding the door for me if I'm not the only person they're holding the door for _and_ they open it _before_ I put my hands on it, but once my hands are on it, they're not allowed to touch it until I've finished going through.
There have been places (both in WY and other places) where I've been asked 4 or more times in the space of 5-15 minutes, and although I understand where they're coming from, especially if it's a different person every time (when it's the same person following me around and asking me, that just makes me really mad - I've had that happen once or twice), it still drives me nuts, to the point that I'm planning to get a little sign to go on the back bar of my chair that says "If I need help, I'll ask. Thanks." so that I don't get that again, or at least not as often.
In general, even if I decline the help that's offered, I will often follow it up with something to the effect of, "but thank you for actually asking instead of insisting". Which does two things, the way I look at it: 1) tells the person that asking first is the correct way to go about it, so that in the future, they're not likely to avoid asking someone, who may in fact need the help and would greatly appreciate having it, out of fear of being shot down for it; and 2) gently tells the person that while it might look like we might have/are having trouble with something, it doesn't necessarily mean we need help - usually we appreciate the thought that prompted them to ask, but it gently lets them know that at least some of us are able to do those things just fine on our own without help.
Show yourworkout
Love your channel.
I can give a tip though if you are looking for a channel I myself enjoy that is pretty much abou invisible disabilities is StynaLane's channel Sick tired and alive (former alone) :) She is also hilarious.
IwIn the Dark there look like shoes
Has anyone held the door open for you
I'm sorry but how is being in a wheelchair deemed a fire hazard in a club? I feel like they just gave you a bullshit excuse because that makes no sense
I love you
Hi