Riley Mau Gets His Second Kiss... and his Date Stolen

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  • čas přidán 14. 02. 2024
  • Excerpt from This Past Weekend #482 "Magnet Love"
    Full Episode: • Magnet Love | This Pas...
    Find Theo Von:
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    #TheoVon #ThisPastWeekend #TheoVonClips #Comedy #Podcast
  • Komedie

Komentáře • 525

  • @jayp9624
    @jayp9624 Před 3 měsíci +830

    *Riley talking about having a horrible time* Theo: “Hurry it up” 😂😂

    • @jordanwilson8277
      @jordanwilson8277 Před 3 měsíci +32

      Lol love theo but he can be a dick.. especially to riley

    • @HartJon282
      @HartJon282 Před 3 měsíci +6

      @@jordanwilson8277nah i think he just realized he was pandering on the story and doesn't exactly have the best way with words as you can tell

    • @sltho
      @sltho Před 3 měsíci +1

      Took him 3:50 to turn lololol

    • @pussylips82
      @pussylips82 Před 3 měsíci

      @@jordanwilson8277 He’s done with him after that story. It was beyond pitiful. God bless that boy 😂

    • @jpk9902
      @jpk9902 Před 3 měsíci

      He deserves it. Wasted a golden opportunity that many people would kill to have. Treating a job working for a successful comedian like it's a busboy job at Denny's. Just lazy@@jordanwilson8277

  • @christophernoble76
    @christophernoble76 Před 3 měsíci +821

    riley coming out of his shell, he spoke a couple full sentences today

    • @BattleBro77
      @BattleBro77 Před 3 měsíci +20

      He's a changed man

    • @adamdrakestudio
      @adamdrakestudio Před 3 měsíci +2

      Amazing to see.

    • @demurph
      @demurph Před 3 měsíci +4

      2nd kiss will do it

    • @climatixseuche
      @climatixseuche Před 3 měsíci +1

      and Theo is like "Hurry it up" xD

    • @rich8307
      @rich8307 Před 3 měsíci

      few more years and he might go for a full paragraph.

  • @JS-qz9cc
    @JS-qz9cc Před 3 měsíci +490

    “You’ve still never burped that sweat whistle have you daddy?”
    “I have not” completely deadpan
    Only Theo 😂

    • @coffeeandtrance
      @coffeeandtrance Před 3 měsíci +17

      theo could have said literally any phrase and riley would have (correctly) assumed he was referring to sex

    • @eall5630
      @eall5630 Před 3 měsíci

      Masturbating not sex@@coffeeandtrance

    • @surfin90
      @surfin90 Před 3 měsíci

      He’s talking bout busting a nut lol Riley never even ejaculated before bro 😂😂

    • @gavinactivateja3869
      @gavinactivateja3869 Před 3 měsíci +1

      sweat whistle lol

    • @michaelhart2715
      @michaelhart2715 Před 3 měsíci

      Jesus lol

  • @matthewhomesley5230
    @matthewhomesley5230 Před 3 měsíci +268

    I love how Riley just sits there straight face when Theo is spitting some wild lines 😂

    • @bradenwuesthoff5639
      @bradenwuesthoff5639 Před 3 měsíci +4

      I know bro 😂😂 If I was Riley I would be dying laughing when Theo said he’s going to make an aquarium

    • @45TWBTNP47
      @45TWBTNP47 Před 3 měsíci +2

      I’m saying! I don’t know how he does it lol

    • @Jilbr
      @Jilbr Před 3 měsíci +2

      He’s definitely got abit of the tism

    • @BigKO89
      @BigKO89 Před 3 měsíci

      Did he say burp that sweat whistle 😭

  • @TheThriftShopSampler
    @TheThriftShopSampler Před 3 měsíci +715

    Riley is a gentlemen and an alpha male for Christ.
    Respect

    • @GartB
      @GartB Před 3 měsíci +40

      He’s genuinely going to make his future wife incredible happy. I know his awkwardness is working against him right now but he’s gonna find the right lady and they’re gonna kill it.

    • @Gary_Winthorpe
      @Gary_Winthorpe Před 3 měsíci +7

      He’s not an alpha at all 😂

    • @GartB
      @GartB Před 3 měsíci +46

      @@Gary_Winthorpe Riley is:
      1. A man after Gods own heart
      2. Lives a pure lifestyle
      3. Will be a loving husband who provides for his wife
      4. Is composed and articulate
      Sounds like an alpha

    • @Gary_Winthorpe
      @Gary_Winthorpe Před 3 měsíci +7

      @@GartB that’s not what alpha means at all 😂

    • @GartB
      @GartB Před 3 měsíci +9

      @@Gary_Winthorpe Then you explain what it is

  • @cyancarpool
    @cyancarpool Před 3 měsíci +433

    how does riley not laugh, it’s like theo lobotomized his capability to laugh

    • @williamcarnero9595
      @williamcarnero9595 Před 3 měsíci +24

      He has to hate theos humor to manage to not laugh at his shit ever

    • @BigpapamoneymanMVPtypebeat
      @BigpapamoneymanMVPtypebeat Před 3 měsíci +26

      I think he’s acoustic

    • @kyle896
      @kyle896 Před 3 měsíci

      Bc he’s boring af, that’s why he got his seat taken.

    • @cyancarpool
      @cyancarpool Před 2 měsíci +1

      @@kyle896 we all disagree w u bub

    • @ashleybanks-wm4cg
      @ashleybanks-wm4cg Před 2 měsíci +1

      This is Theos apprentice He's training to be as funny as Theo one day

  • @nicole866
    @nicole866 Před 3 měsíci +265

    “More darker”…. 😭You can say black Riley, it’s okay

    • @marcoperez5592
      @marcoperez5592 Před 3 měsíci +4

      I thought the exact same thing 🤣

    • @user-el9yg8yu6i
      @user-el9yg8yu6i Před 3 měsíci +1

      Is it ok tho

    • @BigKO89
      @BigKO89 Před 3 měsíci +1

      I had a perfect feeling that was what he was about to say 😭 buddy got robbed by one of them brothas

    • @kyle896
      @kyle896 Před 3 měsíci +3

      @@BigKO89one of those urban guys

    • @Metallute
      @Metallute Před 2 měsíci

      It, sadly, absolutely isn't. Not in a podcast that's gonna be heard by Lord-knows-how-many-people. My man dodged a bullet anyway. Gang.

  • @p-mac5969
    @p-mac5969 Před 3 měsíci +410

    If shes willing to switch things up that fast, she doesn’t belong in your life. Dodged a bullet without even knowing it.

    • @M1911pap
      @M1911pap Před 3 měsíci

      Hes looking for a wife, shes looking for a fuck. She just wants to have fun, not that serious bruv

    • @ComeAlongKay
      @ComeAlongKay Před 3 měsíci

      Yeah she’s a modern woman. They have no ethics integrity or true morality it’s all selfish agenda and warped gender and woke ideology.

    • @ComeAlongKay
      @ComeAlongKay Před 3 měsíci +3

      I’m more shocked when a hear of women not doing that and just being normal.

    • @TtotheCizzel
      @TtotheCizzel Před 3 měsíci

      most women wouldn't do that. She's clearly a cunt@@ComeAlongKay

    • @RandomRabbit007
      @RandomRabbit007 Před 3 měsíci

      Not at all. She dodged him. Dude is a weak passive beta-male. No woman wants that

  • @DarrenMichaelMusic
    @DarrenMichaelMusic Před 3 měsíci +189

    "Let me just slam my head in the car door of my Honda civic" 🤣

  • @joshcgavin1
    @joshcgavin1 Před 3 měsíci +135

    The Riley mau sexcapade updates are always the best segment.

  • @rextyrannos4517
    @rextyrannos4517 Před 3 měsíci +116

    dude taking the seat back is a pure power move. alpha riley

    • @jonXler
      @jonXler Před 3 měsíci +8

      Not if you imagine how Riley would do it lmao sitting across the room staring angrily for ten mins then as soon as the guy moves sneakily take it back lmao alpha would be "Hey how about you get out of my seat"

  • @TG3XTREME
    @TG3XTREME Před 3 měsíci +178

    Riley seems like he's gotten more comfortable in general. Character Development

  • @matthewbrown5442
    @matthewbrown5442 Před 3 měsíci +165

    We need a Theo & Riley buddy cop / roadtrip movie 🤣

    • @erlend1587
      @erlend1587 Před 3 měsíci +6

      Directed by Louis C.K.

    • @Azot333
      @Azot333 Před 3 měsíci +3

      And Tim Dillon is the sergeant or bus driver

    • @ragnarlothbrok938
      @ragnarlothbrok938 Před 3 měsíci +5

      With Bobby Lee as a gay hitchhiker they pick up.

    • @gotusgotus
      @gotusgotus Před 3 měsíci

      ​@@ragnarlothbrok938With Bobby Lee and Neil Patrick Harris looking for white Castle after Riley hooks up 🤣

  • @HeartlessWon506
    @HeartlessWon506 Před 3 měsíci +315

    This felt like Theo was on a strong micro dose of mushrooms… he was dropping so many gems.

    • @yulurkinbrah
      @yulurkinbrah Před 3 měsíci +38

      strong micro dose is an oxymoron

    • @RebelRewind
      @RebelRewind Před 3 měsíci +9

      He do got the sunglasses on

    • @Rodrigo-tk2fm
      @Rodrigo-tk2fm Před 3 měsíci +8

      He was peak level flow state

    • @HeartlessWon506
      @HeartlessWon506 Před 3 měsíci +19

      @@yulurkinbrah Oxymoron- a figure of speech in which apparently contradictory terms appear in conjunction … *A “big micro” dose would’ve been an oxymoron, but a strong one is not.* 🫵🏾🤡

    • @alex14740
      @alex14740 Před 3 měsíci +6

      I think it might've been his favorite strain of weed

  • @Avgytbwatcher1765
    @Avgytbwatcher1765 Před 3 měsíci +66

    “MY GOD” “I can rent you out to a couple holly wood executives rnnn” 😂😂😂

    • @raycongfs
      @raycongfs Před 3 měsíci +2

      As bobby lee would say.." outta pocket" lol

    • @yeserakkad1822
      @yeserakkad1822 Před 3 měsíci

      Getting dark in here 😂😂😂

  • @fsttag1
    @fsttag1 Před 3 měsíci +241

    Didn’t think Riley would last this long tbh

  • @paisano777
    @paisano777 Před 3 měsíci +85

    Theo is so pumped for Riley 😂😂

    • @raycongfs
      @raycongfs Před 3 měsíci +5

      Lol living vicariously thru him cause hes too busy bangin his head in his honda and he got blockers on his phone lol

  • @maizegod6840
    @maizegod6840 Před 3 měsíci +50

    “Did you uhhh burp that sweat whistle yet daddy?” Funniest shit ever

  • @YRKSTX
    @YRKSTX Před 3 měsíci +27

    “At least 17 of that has to be pure, Grade A Maple semen” 😭

  • @jhandle900
    @jhandle900 Před 3 měsíci +52

    When Theo puts on the Ray Charles glasses, you know it's gonna be great 😂

  • @tebonete
    @tebonete Před 3 měsíci +115

    Riley is the man love how honest he is

  • @dashingdreww1185
    @dashingdreww1185 Před 3 měsíci +32

    Theo saying hurry it up was funny af 😂😂😂

    • @x6blood1hound4x4
      @x6blood1hound4x4 Před 3 měsíci

      After stopping him every 3 words and going in tangents lmao I was Ctfu

  • @GaryLee123
    @GaryLee123 Před 3 měsíci +48

    This is better than any written comedy could be 😂

  • @metfan85
    @metfan85 Před 3 měsíci +22

    "I could rent you out to a couple Hollywood execs right now” lol 5:22

  • @jonathanfletcher97
    @jonathanfletcher97 Před 3 měsíci +21

    Lesson learned brotha. Do NOT get up on the bathroom if the wolves are circling the wagon.

  • @scrock8621
    @scrock8621 Před 3 měsíci +31

    I almost clapped when he said Maple Seaman… Theo’s word play is awesome

  • @mikestaub
    @mikestaub Před 3 měsíci +79

    Riley has king energy.

    • @ColinTaylor-sj7ti
      @ColinTaylor-sj7ti Před 3 měsíci +13

      Yep, strong Christian morals. He seems like he has a great future.

    • @jasonolinger7585
      @jasonolinger7585 Před 3 měsíci

      Yea, western women call it boring, they would prefer a drug dealer who has no respect for them.

  • @modelomacy516
    @modelomacy516 Před 3 měsíci +65

    Riley is a champion 🏆

  • @joshcgavin1
    @joshcgavin1 Před 3 měsíci +34

    I feel like when Riley mau finally bust the fucking worlds gonna end

  • @J3R3MI6
    @J3R3MI6 Před 3 měsíci +16

    “Burp that little diving board in the back of a Limousine” ⚰️

  • @coffeeandtrance
    @coffeeandtrance Před 3 měsíci +14

    the arc of riley mau is better than most movies these days

    • @ashleybanks-wm4cg
      @ashleybanks-wm4cg Před 2 měsíci

      It would be a awesome Teen drama The adventures of Riley Mau😂

  • @MoneyHungryENT817
    @MoneyHungryENT817 Před 3 měsíci +17

    Damn that Honda civic line hurt my heart lmao 🤣

  • @BNG1Fdarest
    @BNG1Fdarest Před 3 měsíci +160

    "she came down to me"... Theo "ahhh a feminist"..!!! ROFL

  • @Johnnyappl3seed63
    @Johnnyappl3seed63 Před 3 měsíci +37

    This cleansed my soul baby gang gang

  • @dnavarro972
    @dnavarro972 Před 3 měsíci +18

    We need more Riley Mau

  • @manofSPACE_
    @manofSPACE_ Před 3 měsíci +12

    5:30 i love how he’s just looking around the room like theos not saying the most insane shit about him being an executives nut dispenser 😂😂

  • @millionenabonenntenohnevideo
    @millionenabonenntenohnevideo Před 3 měsíci +19

    saying mouth cock to a tongue is soooo theo. made my day.

  • @Hcvr7256
    @Hcvr7256 Před 3 měsíci +50

    More darker 😂

  • @iy4d
    @iy4d Před 3 měsíci +22

    Theo is a fire hypeman ngl

  • @kp4265
    @kp4265 Před 3 měsíci +33

    The unbustable

    • @ashleyxrose
      @ashleyxrose Před 3 měsíci

      Hahaha unsinkable Molly Brown, unbustable Riley Mao

  • @Avgytbwatcher1765
    @Avgytbwatcher1765 Před 3 měsíci +11

    “Let me just go back and slam my head in the car door of my Honda civic…that’s how much I’m worth” lmao I’ve had those moments too.

  • @tekit97
    @tekit97 Před 3 měsíci +39

    This was gold😂 and Riley you have some balls man! And the beard looks good on you!

    • @AJ-das
      @AJ-das Před 3 měsíci +8

      Yes balls, filled more than any balls on this planet

  • @joehayes5442
    @joehayes5442 Před 2 měsíci +3

    Riley Mau is Theo’s Jordan Schlansky. Perfect comedic relationship

  • @6jackson650
    @6jackson650 Před 3 měsíci +52

    😭”you blasted that corn stock yet?” something a louisiana dad would ask

  • @gmontano5454
    @gmontano5454 Před 3 měsíci +16

    That sweat whistle 😂😂😂

  • @timj4601
    @timj4601 Před 2 měsíci +2

    love how empathetic and interested theo is in Riley Mau's experience

  • @takalani3367
    @takalani3367 Před 3 měsíci +8

    Uncle Theo is a such a hypeman for young Riley

  • @ShroomyD
    @ShroomyD Před 3 měsíci +5

    How is Theo supporting and roasting at the same time 😂

  • @inspaceinyourface
    @inspaceinyourface Před 3 měsíci +20

    My food was about to come out my nose when Theo said “I dunno if I believe that.” After Riley said his weight

    • @AJ-das
      @AJ-das Před 3 měsíci

      My favorite part of this whole thing 😂😂😂😂

  • @Joann-ml6909
    @Joann-ml6909 Před 3 měsíci +9

    Riley - “ no actually she came down to me a little bit” Theo- “hell ya feminism!” 😂

  • @Ian-hd3od
    @Ian-hd3od Před 3 měsíci +20

    Theo knows a thing or two about stolen dates

  • @melgbs11
    @melgbs11 Před 3 měsíci +3

    „MOUTHCOCK“ - Theo Von, 2024

  • @dano8335
    @dano8335 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Theo really loves torturing himself. The only time he visably gets frustrated is talking to Riley lmao

  • @DadinWA
    @DadinWA Před 3 měsíci +15

    Theo trying to get the details on the 2nd kiss..lmao..killing me!

  • @ridemnt
    @ridemnt Před 3 měsíci +6

    at least 17 of that is pure grade a maple

  • @_boof
    @_boof Před 3 měsíci +3

    Riley’s blank stare at Theo just going off is great.

  • @nateone6632
    @nateone6632 Před 3 měsíci +3

    Been wondering about him once or twice lately. Like a whole character development. Riley you actually talked like a semi normal person with sentences! Rooting for you bro

  • @mikemurray5820
    @mikemurray5820 Před 3 měsíci +5

    This is my favorite bit ever and it’s not even a bit 😂😂😂

  • @dogbarkhollow
    @dogbarkhollow Před 3 měsíci +8

    2:58 we have a fuckin beetle joining the party on Riley’s mic

    • @celestialfiend7911
      @celestialfiend7911 Před 3 měsíci +2

      How... how did you spot that lmfao
      Left side of mic stand for anyone else
      Mad respect for seeing that 👊🏼

    • @chickentoucher55
      @chickentoucher55 Před 3 měsíci

      Damn bruh

    • @ash2861
      @ash2861 Před 3 měsíci

      💀💀💀

  • @gammadodeka
    @gammadodeka Před 3 měsíci +2

    ”Did you play any music on your phone?” Hahaha Theo I love you

  • @J3R3MI6
    @J3R3MI6 Před 3 měsíci +8

    If Howard Stern’s son smoked glue… daily.

  • @Raheem0177
    @Raheem0177 Před 3 měsíci +4

    Treasure chest of one liners from Theo here 😂

  • @elodie_your_nice_friend
    @elodie_your_nice_friend Před 3 měsíci +29

    Your content is fresh, keep it going!

  • @nlmnyc
    @nlmnyc Před 3 měsíci +5

    Damn! A current Riley Mau clip.
    Ya’ll are the greatest comedy duo since Hope and Crosby.

  • @ancientcall7737
    @ancientcall7737 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Man those two are so funny together.. When Theo was making that aquarium / Hollywood producer comparison and he just nodded like it is a totally normal thing in a conversation 😂😂

  • @WolfataDoor
    @WolfataDoor Před 3 měsíci +10

    I’m about to go on a bust strike til Mau hits splashes that first slush.

    • @eram92
      @eram92 Před 3 měsíci

      I’ll join ya. Nobody nuts, til Riley busts !

  • @jas9239
    @jas9239 Před 3 měsíci +4

    Congrats to theos sister for getting her final nurse GED

  • @bradfaulkner6013
    @bradfaulkner6013 Před 3 měsíci +5

    Theo needs to be there on Rileys date giving a play by play commentary.

  • @Jhanna111
    @Jhanna111 Před 3 měsíci +17

    Give me that Korean Kim-chi, Ninja style 🥷 🤣🤷🏻‍♀️👏🏻🌎😂

  • @louismaiden8360
    @louismaiden8360 Před 3 měsíci +6

    NEED MORE RILEY AND THEO

  • @flapp-jck1226
    @flapp-jck1226 Před měsícem

    “lemme just slam my head in the car door of my Honda Civic” 😭🤣💀, with the head movement and the tone of his voice 💔😂😂

  • @SevenTwo7ven
    @SevenTwo7ven Před 3 měsíci +2

    This was so fucking funny. Love these pods so much

  • @originalorextrahyperbole
    @originalorextrahyperbole Před 3 měsíci +2

    I love Riley & Theo ❤ Theo is like Riley's cool, caucasian uncle who gives him advice that makes him feel uncomfortable because he cares

  • @Jhanna111
    @Jhanna111 Před 3 měsíci +6

    Thank you for making us cry 😭 Theo Von 😂🤷🏻‍♀️👍👏🏻🌎

  • @stingray427man
    @stingray427man Před 3 měsíci +8

    The continuing saga of the 808 dewd 🤙

  • @dirkjewitt5037
    @dirkjewitt5037 Před 3 měsíci +6

    For all the victories, there are still, many lost battles.

  • @bowbeez1995
    @bowbeez1995 Před 3 měsíci

    8:37 Theo hitting the mic and saying oh god made it all that much funnier lol

  • @jimmyhoward653
    @jimmyhoward653 Před 3 měsíci

    The "oh god" at 8:39 just completely killed me🤣

  • @billiemack64
    @billiemack64 Před 3 měsíci +1

    “Burped that sweat whistle” is hilarious 😂

  • @TheSweetswed
    @TheSweetswed Před 3 měsíci +2

    😅😅 blast that cornstock 😂 i jus spit out my drink damn u Theo

  • @rustincole_w1339
    @rustincole_w1339 Před 3 měsíci +13

    "So ya still have never burped that sweat whistle have ya daddy?"

    • @raycongfs
      @raycongfs Před 3 měsíci +2

      Its like out of context he makes no sense but in context its the most creative metaphors you've ever heard lol

  • @gunny7769
    @gunny7769 Před 3 měsíci +1

    this is the only time riley opening his mouth made me smile hahaaha

  • @kevinnix5495
    @kevinnix5495 Před 3 měsíci +2

    "Burped that sweat whistle" 😂

  • @dianeb.4782
    @dianeb.4782 Před 3 měsíci +6

    Love Riley & wish him the best 🎉

  • @jpk9902
    @jpk9902 Před 3 měsíci +1

    Riley should have told the guy "I could survive prison, you know"

  • @samantioniosmitho8649
    @samantioniosmitho8649 Před 3 měsíci +2

    Penguin vibe 😂😂😅

  • @godsglizzy2232
    @godsglizzy2232 Před 3 měsíci +1

    "burped that sweat whistle" 😂😂😂

  • @MrSnoopdogg64
    @MrSnoopdogg64 Před 3 měsíci +2

    I respect Riley Mau, it's such a pleasure to see him develop

  • @eloygutierrez7377
    @eloygutierrez7377 Před 3 měsíci

    riley so honest and just a true legend

  • @ILLUMINATED-1
    @ILLUMINATED-1 Před 3 měsíci +3

    bro had a whole puberty growth spirt

  • @nolaquev
    @nolaquev Před 3 měsíci +5

    Aw, Riley is adorable ❤

  • @GARR255
    @GARR255 Před 10 dny

    I could rent you out to a couple Hollywood executive right now LMAOOO

  • @stevethebarber1
    @stevethebarber1 Před 3 měsíci +1

    This clip really got me 😂😂😂 Thanks boys

  • @diegosandoval5842
    @diegosandoval5842 Před 3 měsíci

    “Loiter in the distance angry for a while” 😭😭😭

  • @CezaMVO
    @CezaMVO Před 3 měsíci +4

    I truly believe in destiny, we are meant to meet certain people in life, because theo and riley are such polar opposites yet they are perfect together

    • @raycongfs
      @raycongfs Před 3 měsíci +1

      Undynamic duo some would say lol you right

  • @elmikatv
    @elmikatv Před 3 měsíci +4

    I love this story of riley

  • @bori1986
    @bori1986 Před 3 měsíci

    Theo is on another level with them one liners

  • @G35Jeff
    @G35Jeff Před 3 měsíci +1

    Riley definitely got touched by the ‘tism

  • @homr
    @homr Před 2 měsíci +1

    7:10
    Riley : Actually she came down to me
    Theo : *nods* Fuck yeah son, FEMINISM

  • @benrosenbower2959
    @benrosenbower2959 Před 3 měsíci

    my favorite on going story, really looking forward to when riley finally blasts that corn stalk