The Truth About Being Single | Hannah Witton
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- čas přidán 10. 10. 2016
- AKA Hannah has a breakdown. Relationships, love, being alone, "the one", having high expectations & finding meaning in the single life.
Inspired by Leena: • The Truth About Being ...
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I'm single for 23 years. I'm 23.
RIP me too 23 years Single
Electro Potato 20 years single 😭
Almost 27 years for me
Sir Lightning Bolt 27 for me
Same, except I'm 22
Successful women really do not intimidate men, that's a myth.
Kinda right kinda not.
Spooky Fox - with me or the original assertion?
Anthony Siders - It's a generalisation which is just taken for granted without any form of questioning. I think it completely ignores the part that women play in those situations. Maybe it's just that successful women have no need for men who earn less than them, maybe they are less attracted to men who earn less rather than they themselves do. Men are happy enough for women to be successful and make money, trust me on that. I've never known any of my friends ever say to me "you know what, I'd love to find a woman to be completely reliant on my income, and one who earns a lot less than me." To be honest I think salary and status of the other half is a much bigger deal for women than men. As weak as anecdotes are, I remember as a younger man I was told by a female friend I should go out with a specific girl.......because she drove a nice car! I thought it was the most stupid thing I'd ever heard, but the other girls basically stood there in agreement, it said a lot about where their minds were at.
Ligerpride i stay away from superficial women Godly loving women is who i like there are still good women out there
Absolutely, right way to go brother. True true.
What I found along my journey,
Being alone and single is better than being around people who make you feel alone
Dispite it being difficult to accept
Thomas Gray Hey, that's deep. Thanks for sharing.
No i disgree if you find the person who deeply understand your feelings then she ll know it
I'll tell you a secret: NOBODY is "the one" Love is about learning how to get along with eachother and how to live with eachothers flaws instead of trying to change them to your liking.
You shouldnt have to learn to like someone
How? Where is the proof?
@@wesdowty79 you didn't got it. It isn't about learning to love someone you don't like, it's about appreciating differences between each other, to grow each individual having each other to support it and working together to make the "bad" parts of each other softer.
The most important lesson I've learned is that your first and primary relationship should be with yourself. I was single for 3 and half years after a 10 year relationship ended and I deeply value the time I had to explore who I was in the aftermath and how I had changed from the last time I'd been single.
I first met my current partner when I was 36. didn't see her again for 6 months and then we started dating right around my 37th birthday.
Now we're giddy in love with each other :)
+
+
The weirdest thing to me about my recent singleness is that as soon as someone finds out, the first thing they say is "OH I know the perfect person for you!"
I just have to remind her that our Myers-Briggs types are the least compatible
ESTJ - “The Executive”
+Hannah Witton You are awesome! :) build your own base in life is the most important thing! i did mine also and know how much of hard work is this. I identify with you, independent and autosuficient. Kudos to you! : D
Don't worry, the myers-briggs test doesn't actually mean anything anyway.
Man, Ive been single for 2 years this has never happened to me? Not sure if that is good or bad
I was 24 before I kissed a girl. now We're married 15 years. it was totally worth the wait
you don't need perfect. just perfect for you
@@Loehengrin that’s really sweet!
The trouble with being single for a long time is you get so set in your ways , you don't like or want to change.
I don't know anything outside of being single, I've never been in a relationship once. I don't feel the need to be in one either. It's just what I'm used to, I guess.
this is me 100%!! I feel like I'm supposed to long for a relationship but since I have nothing to compare to my single state, I don't have anything TO miss. Every now and then I feel like I wish I had "someone" but mostly it's just when all my friends are busy haha
How old are you? I had this until now and I'm almost 27. I never even had sex before 25 :/
I'm 27 in 5 months. Still no sex for me :/ and I'm not like, waiting for marriage or anything...
Second that. My singleness is so strong that any "interference" would screw up my weekly routine soo bad.
I feel this so much. Like, at this point it feels like I'd have to "sacrifice" some of my me-time or something... and I feel like I need that alone time to recharge from my job etc. The idea of adding in another human is so foreign I don't know what I'd do with it
I'm 18, never been in a relationship and honestly? The whole prospect kinda gives me anxiety, like having to constantly be engaging and communicating with someone and having to make time to spend with a person freaks me out. I know when I meet someone who I really like these feelings will settle down a bit, but I don't think I'm ready for it yet
I've also realized that I'm really picky and almost never get crushes lmao, but I do get lonely and sometimes I feel like there is something wrong with me. Like in my head I know thats not true but sometimes I cant help but feel that way
Brianna Crawford This is EXACTLY how I feel. It's nice to see someone else with the same thoughts... I definitely get that "something must be wrong here" feeling sometimes too
Yeah...it seems like a lot of that ought to be sorted out by finding someone that you don't feel worried about in that way. But also, relationships look different for everyone, and maybe the level of time spent together and frequency of communication that you need is just different from that in relationships you've seen, and society's ideas about relationships?
Oh also now I'm curious how often you get crushes, 'cuz I tend to always have like one main person I'm crushing on...usually a close friend, often who's in a relationship of her own. -__- But for the past few years I haven't really had anyone in that slot--which mostly has made me dwell on old crushes, and also get way more infatuated with a certain CZcamsr than I thought it was possible to be without having _met_ the person. But anyway. Partly I think that's just me maturing, particularly since my last crush was someone I didn't know, and I was already thinking about actually telling her I liked her [perish the thought].
[I'm 25.]
May your swords stay sharp! (mysss29)
I honestly don't think I have had a crush in *years* the last one I really had was in college, and it lasted for a few years, even though I objectively knew it would never work between us...
Not sure if I've "matured" or gotten pickier, or if I just haven't done a lot of socializing with straight males that would be "crush worthy" since college haha
Girl you still young!
Not sure if you’ve already done this, but I think it would be amazing if you did a reaction to this today, being married, with a baby on the way. I think it would be really interesting to see how your ideas have changed, if they have, and see you give space for this chapter of yourself. Would be a great example to see how to reflect and appreciate the different chapters of our lives 💛
What's really interesting about all the videos about being 'single' I've watched, is the good looking and confident people in them are still going on dates, sleeping with others or being in very short term relationships. That's NOT being single. Being single is not having closeness at all with anyone for years. Not even for a day. You seem to still get your fix of human interaction. Try not even going on a date, having no one 'like' or 'swipe' you on a dating site or having any one night encounters for years. It's horrible and breaks your spirit. Being actually 'single' in the purest form is souless, lonely and sad. Try it for real sometime. You'll think differently. Humans are social beings that need other humans.
This comment is crushing my soul
:(
It is sad.
@@TheDsasadsad It's been years now. I've actually given up. To not be desired by other humans is awful.
@@shakyblues2099 I know this comment was written a while back, but I totally agree with you. It can be very depressing even if you have family and friends who love you dearly. People don't seem to understand that. I appreciate the love I get from family and friends, but I want to experience a different type of love. I want to be loved in romantic way. It's even worse when you've been single since birth and every last crush you've ever had on a guy, he gets a girlfriend that's not you. It FUCKING SUCKS. It can even drive you to the point of suicidal thoughts. I just want reciprocated love and affection. Ugh, I'm gonna go back to watching Netflix in my dark room in a pile of covers. I've given up. I've already told my family I'm getting a job that pays well in New York City and adopting some cats or dogs. I don't know why being alone with cats or dogs gets such a bad rep. Both are awesome and adorable. I feel your pain😭😭😭
@@shy_donut8307 It gets a bad reo because many people because you substitute then for people who are missing in your life, dogs don't get as much as cats as you need to be commited to have a dog (you still need to be commited to own a cat but not as much as with a dog)
So... find friends? Like, what you're talking about is straight up social isolation, not singleness. Make friends. There's your human connection. You don't have to be romantically connected to be meaningfully connected.
This video came at a perfect time.Last night I got so upset because I realised that most of my friends are in serious committed relationships and it made me sad that Ive never even come close to that. Im 23 and never been in a relationship and also never dated anyone. Previously I haven't felt ready because I had to do the whole self discovery thing. But now I've done that I'm in the "something must be wrong with me" mindset. Now Im at the point that I am scared Ill never find someone that I can let in.
actually my entire existence haha :S
I will say that at 23, you really do have plenty of time. There is nothing wrong with you. If you are like most people, you have lots of life left to live and find somebody if that is your desire. Most of the couples who are together at age 23 will not stay together forever. A few really will be in it for the long haul, but most eventually move on. Being 23 and having already found "the one" is the exception, not the rule. Give it time.
everyone has own road) not problem
Same, but 24 years old (male). I have to admit, that I don't feel lonely ever - maybe I overcame that feeling in the past, can't remember. I have other things in mind than finding a partner - I better get my life together first and maybe find someone later, when I'm done with my own developement. Greetings from germany!
Literally me, but younger.
You have the right idea about love being both a feeling and a choice. I've been with my husband for 12 years (dated for 10, married for 2) and initially it was just a feeling and turned into a choice. There are days where we still have the feelings of falling in love and there are days that we choose to love each other even though we would like to strangle one another. Relationships take conscious effort and the ones who stay together are the ones who are willing to work at it. I don't mean it to sound like a constant struggle because it's not. In order to have a good partner you have to be a good partner and some days it's easier than others.
I absolutely agree with you
Very well said
+
Sherman Herritt, I would say that every relationship is a choice whether it be friend, family, or partner. Your entire life is made up of a series of choices almost all of which are conscious ones.
Not to sound all hippity-dippity but every relationship ,even familial ones, are like plants that need care. You choose to take care of the plant and help it grow or you let it die. You choose to make the effort to see or speak to a person to keep the relationship thriving or you let it fade and the relationship dies.
The same is true for family relationships. I unfortunately know many people who do not love their blood relations. Being born into a family doesn't automatically bestow love and doesn't keep love thriving. It's the actions and choices of you and your family members that keeps you together.
As far as romantic love, I choose to do the things that keep my love and relationship with my husband alive. Granted many times that choice is an easy one but it's still a choice. That initial feeling of love and it's continuance is what gives me the motivation to make the choice for love when it is difficult to.
Like I said before,it's not a constant struggle but its still a choice and sometimes the choice is so easy it doesn't seem like a choice at all.
I completely agree that love is a choice after you get past the "honeymoon" period at the beginning, where everything is new and fresh. Like you said, choose to help the relationship thrive or else it dies. For me, I have been in a relationship for 5.5 years and I still very much love him. However, there are times I can take it for granted and be less enthralled by the relationship. In addition, you have to make the effort to spend time together and do little stuff, like hug on occasion, go to dinners, and spend time together in order to keep the relationship alive. This isn't to say there isn't a deeper connection (not sure about the chemistry thing, need to research that). If there is such a thing as interpersonal chemistry, then that entirely relates to the compatibility of the partners and the initial love that is experienced. The longer you are together, though, the more you have to work to keep it alive.
Sorry for all the ramblings. I'm just excited to find other people that similarly believe in love being a choice as well as a feeling.
"Maybe I'll meet someone when I'm 80.... oh god" dyinnnng lmao
I just discovered your channel and I love this video! I’m 28 and single, and have been for quite some time. Your video exactly describes how I feel about it (slight mental breakdown and all), and I’m so happy to see I’m not alone in feeling this way! Love you and your channel, stay beautiful and independent 😘
I absolutely hate it when people say to a single person "omg how are you single? You are amazing! Why would anyone not date you?" and all that crap. It's like they think that single people are looking and no one is interested and they don't actually think that maybe we just don't actually want to be in a relationship. It doesn't boil down to the fact that someone is a nice, attractive person, intelligent person therefore they should be partnered up.
People who are looking and are single for a long time, I would just think that it's because they are too shy or not looking in the right places, or just haven't found the right person yet. It goes both ways after all. Being single doesn't mean that people don't like us so aren't dating us.
I'm 23 and I've actually been single my entire life. I've never had a boyfriend ever. I'm not actively looking as I'm not really that bothered about being in a relationship but at the same time, I do sometimes wish I was in one when I see my partnered up friends together being all happy families and stuff and it makes me feel all happy jealous inside because I'm happy for them but wish it me in that moment because it looks so nice lol.
CastleFlameGal I relate to this so much! I'm also 23 :) wow
CastleFlameGal
23 also and in the same situation. People are always asking me if I date as if I go out of my way to avoid it. My answer is always along the lines of "I'm not actively looking for someone. If it happens that would be nice but otherwise, I'm good." :)
Ok you dont want a relationship, so I should just ask for sex?
Its ok to do what both sides need and leave each other after that...
yeah its terrible when people tell you that you are amazing, so hate that...wtf ,look at yourself.
its a logical thing to say when they are trying to find out if you have someone or not, you don't understand common courtesy?
T Ver
You are missing the point. It's not the people complimenting how great they think that person is that I hate. It's the insinuation that they should be in a relationship because they think that person is great.
Why does a "great" person need to be in a relationship?
If you want to tell someone how great they think they are then just say that. If you want to know if they are seeing someone then just ask them if they are. Don't ask someone why they aren't in a relationship because you think they are "great". Great people don't have to be in relationships. It's a choice.
I'm 18, never been in a relationship and don't really want one at this stage 😂
Ditto
Ally May 20 here 😂
18 as well and never want to be 😅
RIGHT?
22 and have had one girlfriend that dose not mean I don't have lots of sex though.
Oh, my god! These eyes! The way you express yourself is also soo cool.
Great video. Again.
Someone once said “why are you so single?” My response was “I haven’t met the right person yet, what’s your excuse?”
hey 5 years! try 28 years lol.
thewewguy8t88 wow I thought 20 was long
Need to go to meetup.com It's an adult activity site, with literally hundreds of things you can join in with, and great people of like interest to spend time with. Do things like that. It greatly helps for meeting people.
Wtf!?!?
How about 29? I won!
Damn, everyone has me beat. 19 years single here.
A MGTOW video sent me here. I had to see this for myself.
Same, are you here from Angry MGTOW?
Angry MGTOW for the win!
This is how I got here too. I'm married, and I wouldn't put up with her.
ditto.
And he made a good video.
I'M the club now angry MGTOW LOL...SAME HERE
Hey, I am now over 5 years single and also 24 years old! I can really understand you;) Greetings from Germany !
Thank you for sharing about feeling lonely at times and worrying about never finding someone, and I totally agree that it's a cool feeling to realize you can do life alone!
Its not good enough
Buy a cat. If you already have a cat buy another.
Don't buy, adopt
Buy a cat adoption centre?
Captain Apollo yes
You're going to be the crazy lady down the street with a bunch of cats! 🐱
don't buy any cats.
WOW. She had a moment of self-awareness at 6:30 where she realizes that her standards are SO high that for all practical purposes, she is doomed to be single.
That moment of self-awareness will not translate into anything useful. And it's too late anyway, men have set the MGTOW principles loose on the net.
I'm interested in this MGTOW thing. Where do I start?
Watch Sandman's videos on CZcams, search for him
Stephen Gantenbein FREEDOM
I've been single since 2004. I've been on my own so long don't even know if would want a relationship. Everyone i know who's in relationships just fight and drive each other crazy.
Wow its exactly how I feel being single for 4+ years. This definitely helps soothe my self-loathing and depression glad I came across this Hannah☺️
There is a difference being alone and being lonely. Being alone does not necessarily mean the person feels lonely if they have been able to construct a busy life around them. A person who is working or sees friends or family rarely feels lonely. It is only in the moments of boredom and silence that they do.
Similarly anyone can feel lonely regardless of personal intimate relationship status. Robin Williams, R.I.P, famously said before his suicide that the worst thing in life is to surround oneself with people who make you feel lonely. He was right. You can be in a relationship and still feel extremely lonely and isolated.
I can tell why you are single.
Be nice. :)
MGTOWs don't have to be nice, just honest :D
+Vato Solo
It doesn't hurt. :)
+James Gabbitus
If you want to join the adult male conversation and be regarded as something more than a pathetic boy-troll, feel free to say something intelligent and/or interesting and address the other participants with some respect. I'm guessing that you have some intellect, so why not demonstrate it? Just a suggestion.
Robert Roth Well you see, Robert, insulting the insulter whom isn't the insultee can be an effective means of action for the reformation of the insulter's behaviour. The initial reaction of the insulter receiving the insult from a third party can be somewhat of an indicator to such a person to come to a realisation of their insultive behaviour. You see it is a mirroring technique that allows a person to empathise with the insulters initial insult to the insultee and thereby reform their behaviour and actions to which they respond in accordance to their newly developed empathic trait acquired from the reflective insult from the third party insulter.
Seriously admire your sense of self-reliance and your loyalty to yourself. Honestly you seem like such a rock-solid person and I'm using you as inspiration and evidence that people can be that strong! :) I also really appreciated your honesty in your article about motivation dips x
Thank you for doing this video! I've been single for a long time too and I'm completely fine with it. Sometimes I feel lonely and sometimes I'm very happy on my own. I'm not actively looking for anyone but if I meet someone and it feels right I'll go for it. It's nice to hear someone talk about it like this and not making it out to be this horribly sad thing. And that relationships are the ultimate goal all the time
I do the stupid thing where I get crushes but then put up barriers as soon as the other person shows any interest back, to the extent where I can't even tell if I like them but t's just complicated to make it work with meeting up etc. or if I'm actually not bothered about them at all??
lol i'm exactly the same :/
Josie same
oh god same! me and my friend who also feels like this were having a conversation about this the other day. we should start a club and call it the "single and totally opposed to two way mingling" crowd. maybe we could get tee shirts
IM SO DOWN TO JOIN BC SAME
if that's you in the picture then your really pretty😊
I'm 78 years old and I've been single all my life. Well, that's achievement.
no way are u 78
how did you turn on the computer??
why do you have 1976 in your name?
That's when I lost my virginity.
It is true. It is true. I swear. Please trust me.
Very relatable, thanks for doing this Hannah!
Makes all the rest of us feel less ashamed about our own breakdowns, yeah. :D
Watching this now you're married and currently pregnant. What a blast from the past!
Why is this being recommended to me?
If you watched a lot/are subscribed to people that have someone's channel linked in their profile under "related channels", that person's videos will pop up as recommended to you.
I wondered that as well. CZcams is bullying me 😂😂😂
thelouisfanclub CZcams must know that I just split up on 31 dec. big brother is watching!
Yeah I got this on my feed and I've been in a relationship for 3.5 years. Does CZcams know something I don't?!?
Single for twenty years. Yay😭
Alexxus KirkLOVE single for 22 lol you're not alone
26~ -__-
18 :)
Thanks for discussing this stuff openly and vulnerably, great content! Especially about society putting relationships on a pedestal as if you’re doing something “wrong” if you are single or something is “wrong with you”. It’s interesting to think about why this is the case and if society will ever shift its perspective.
It's really interesting to watch this now after watching the little pieces of your relationship with Dan with whom you're now engaged!
and now married!
Fingers crossed
My advice for you is STOP DOUBTING YOURSELF because everything you say in this video makes a lot of sense and you make a lot of good points, have confidence! xx
My advice is to all the boys. When your girlfriend's dad asked you, what you do? "your daughter" is not the right answer.
AVP TheBeast what the hell kinda guy have you been dating?
Josh White You have no idea one time I caught my boyfriend making a photocopy and started looking at them? I asked him "what are you doing?" he said "compares it with the original for spelling mistakes."
23 year old, 6 years single ^^
21, single forever
18 and I kinda want a relationship
Wow, I got yall beat......
46 years old and 10 yrs single. Single dad raising 2 kids.
Thanks for sharing some of your thoughts about being single and relationships in general. I was 16 when I started to really pin my identity and sense of accomplishment to being in a long term, committed relationship. Every stretch of singleness was essentially a lull between my next big blind leap into a fresh new partnership. It wasn't until I experienced being with someone for more than a year or two that I realized I left my sense of self lagging so far behind that I truly did not know what I wanted anymore. I had formed myself to accommodate every relationship I had up to that point and the process left me without a center or sense of direction. I've been single for almost 2 years now. Like you, there are parts I enjoy and some.. not so much. I don't find myself worrying about dying alone or not having someone to start a family with. Mostly, I worry that the occasional bouts of loneliness you described will draw me towards toxic relationships just to be *in* a relationship again. Because I like to be wanted, to show someone I want them and that *feeling* of falling in love that comes with new relationships.
Anyway, thanks again for the video. I really glad my late night Youtubing brought me to this somehow.
This is great Hannah, thank you for the video. Particularly the part about choosing to stay in love. I've been in a long term relationship and struggling a bit at the moment. I hadn't thought about love this way before and it makes more sense now. Is there anyone who talks about relationships in depth that you'd recommend? X
Can I get an Amen for this video!? As one of only a handful of people within my friendship group to be single, it so great to hear someone else feel like this! Yes, it would be great to be in a relationship but I think it's great to have that not as my main goal in life. Am I tired from relatives/friends asking why I haven't found someone? Yes! But I know I ain't just going to settle for the fact I have been single for a couple of years, and that should be in a sense fixed because we live in a society where you should be paired up and if you're not you must have something wrong with you.
Yes yes yes
My parents are in denial about me not willing to have children. I told them I will be in a relationship if I find someone and not because I have to. My father keeps asking me if I have a boyfriend and even urges me to "look around", because in his opinion, it's about time for me to settle down, and I'm fucking 21. I'd love to love someone and be loved back in a lovey-dovey relationship, but that's up to fate, there isn't a boyfriend market, and all the dating apps are primarily men looking for sex.
***** Um, you do realize most men on dating apps look *only* for sex, right? You sure don't know much about people in general if you think I wouldn't have sex with my partner, did you seriously think I meant men in general only want sex? If I wanted just sex, I'd go get it, if I wanted someone just for the sake of having someone, I have options, but that's not the problem. As I said, there isn't a market for men where you can pick out the one. I don't have a need for a relationship, I don't want to "pair up", I definitely don't want children. There are plenty of women whose romantic life doesn't start until 30, and in Japan women get married and have children at 40. At 21, I should be focused on my education, at 25 - building a career, this isn't the middle ages where the man works the field and the woman does the chores, doing them takes 30 minutes per day maximum with modern technology. Many women don't have time for a relationship, I do, but I don't feel the need to give myeself a good for nothing purpose and be with someone because of social norms. As I said, if it happens - it happens. If not, I focus on other things and I'm happy anyway. I'm happy right now, having a relationship will just change things up a little, that's it.
***** Some people like simply being at the top and working to go higher and higher, so money is just something that comes naturally with it, but it doesn't have to be in the centre. Once money becomes the main thing, people lose their passion for what makes it, that's well established.
How did you get to the conclusion I think men are sex crazed? I think men are more likely to seek only sex than women are, is that not so? My father and mother got together as a last resort, because they wanted a family and were almost 30. They did like each other, but they were never in love. My father proposed to my mother on a sudden whim on a bench and they casually were both like "well why not, seems like an ok idea". They seem ok with their decision, but not everyone is like my parents. My parents both despise cheating and believe that once you say 'till death do us part, you never go back. They live together out of convenience and aren't especially ambitious or hopeful.
There are two genders and a total of 100 percent, so...
I'm not giving up on anything, quite the opposite, I embrace true love as long as it is actually love and not just wanting to be together out of convenience. I'm not waiting, I've had my share.
I'm sorry but who only dates people in a certain frame? One has feelings for so many different people throughout their life, and most of those have very little in common. Quality is quality and it doesn't diminish with a vast variety of traits. Everyone is looking for people on their or higher status, whatever that status may be. Every man is different, just as every woman is. A woman in her fourties may never be found attractive by a teenager, but she may be found a goddess by a man of her age. The same way, many young men do find milfs and cougars attractive. Chances are, if you are an attractive young woman, you will be a desirable middle aged one as well provided you take care of yourself.
***** It's not that simple. There's an adequate reaction that can bring me the desired result depending the situation. But, for the sake of this argument, if I'm literally given the only two options of having kids or being dumped, I'd say we should split up because we don't want the same things from life, and that's okay. Many men don't want children, I've dated plenty like that, and we have always been like "phew, good, it would be a shame to split up because of this".
I can bet my pelvis it's a lot less than 90 percent. Way less. The truth is, most people marry because of love and it changes overtime to security. You're still happy together, you still want nobody else, but in a different way. Plenty of people know the real people they date, not just an idea of them, and maintain love for years, I've seen it happen, and it's a lot more common than you think.
What you described is common for people who just go through the motions and always dream of having it better, but never do what it actually takes. I've never wanted a man to watch a soap opera with me, I think changing someone like this via trying to mold their preferences to become like your own, or any other way for that matter, is done by people who don't have the intelligence to realize why it would never work, nor have the strategy to get what they need without breaking any dishes.
The opposite almost never happens because men don't feel confident if they aren't financially strong. Many women would support their husband if needed, but it's men that feel their masculinity is threatened and do not allow that to happen. It is accepted from times past that the woman should stay at home and that bleeds into how people feel today as well, but the only reason it still goes on that strong is because most women should, at some point, stop all they have going on and take care of a baby for a while before they can go back to their routine. If a woman wants none of that, it no longer applies to her. Plenty of people don't want kids, and they often pair up. Gay people never have kids, and adoption removes the carrying-and-breastfeeding factor, so they never have to stop their life completely. However, most people are run by the primitive need to have their own bloodline continued, so the orphanages grow packed of children who grow up to be dysfunctional parts of society and end up producing more babies that go down the same path. I'm well aware mankind will keep being ruled by its pride and greed, but I refuse to let that rule me.
Wine. Wine is always the answer!
You have a lot in Common with alcoholics if that's the answer
it was a joke.. jeeeez :p
😐
Delirium Tremens is "literally" Hell
this is so real and relatable. It's good to see that you are not the only one feeling that way. Thanks for making and sharing this.
that "metaphor" you said about having build like a rock foundation or whatver yourself and that no matter how low you fall you know you'll never fall lower than that like spoke to me so much it like put into words what ive been feeling. ive tried explaining this to ppl in my life before but i just couldnt find the right words but now i do. thanks xx
I had one very intense, very long relationship. Been single for 10 months. It took that long for me to become ok with being single. Before a few weeks ago, I was constantly looking for someone to date. It's nice to be able to just go somewhere finally without that in the back of my mind.
I relate to this so hard. I've been single for less than a month and am still recovering from the breakup, but I find my crazy monogamous brain trying to seek out another person to pursue romantically even though I know it's not what's best for me. Hearing you say it took you 10 months to be okay with it makes me feel so much better!
Yeah, can relate to this too. Has been single for 7 months after long relationships and I am now more happy with my life than i have ever been. Just like Hannah says, you will get lonely and it is never an easy topic, but once it is not a constant buzz in your head, you will have so much time to love yourself, to crete your environment and take hobbies. It sounded crazy for me just two months ago, but now i actually would like to spend a couple of years single. So, good luck, it will always get better!
A few weeks is NOTHING! You still have a good week or two to feel sad about the breakup! I went through a lot in those months. Lots of self reflection and I came out a better person. I had a pretty broken relationship though so it's probably going to be different for you. You have to tough through whatever you're going to go through. Also, DON'T DATE until you're actually over him/her.
I also have a theory that if you're ok with being single (not fake ok, like really ok) you will attract better people. Confidence and independence are pretty sexy traits.
***** This is such an apt metaphor. Thank you!
Jake Hoffman I think I've always known your theory was true in the back of my head, so at least now that I'm single I can finally shape myself into the kind of person I admire. Thank you for the great advice!
In spite of the fact that I am in a relationship and have been for a couple of years (since I was 18), I completely relate to the feeling of having a foundation built that's your own, probably not as strong as yours but because my partner and I are both really independent people I know if we split up I'd be fine. I don't need him financially or for any other reason. But the cool thing is that I want him around. Which like choosing to be in love with someone I think is even more special. Because I don't need him and he doesn't need me but we want each other around and that's kind of more nice. I think so at least.
Hannah Witton thanks gal x great video!
I remember reading a while ago, in a study where younger and older people were asked "is love a feeling or a choice?", the majority of the younger people said "feeling" and the older people said "choice". So I guess as you grow older you develop realistic expectations of what you can get and need from a relationship..So by this logic your way of seeing it is the best and most mature way :)
I just got to the bit where hannah actually talks about that, and I agree with her :p
yes! I totally agree and feel the same way, I have been with my partner since I was 17 and I am now 19! I have done so much self work and care that I am strong in myself as a parson and see relationships on a very different light to how most people portray love. I liked the way you explained it as choosing to have that person in your life and choosing to love them.
I will be the person bursting your bubble.
Being in a relationship since you were 18 and several years until today is not the same as being single.
You can say that you are so independent, but you have no idea what it means to be truly single.
You can relate, feel for a person being single for 5 years or 10 years.
But that is not the same as going through being single for 5 years or 10 years.
You will know how well you can really handle being single, once you have been single.
And as a person, that have been single basically nonstop for 8 years I hope you never ever have to experience being single for years.
Personally I found your text arrogant towards us being single for a long time. But that is my opinion.
I love how you said how society puts being in a relationship or being married on a pedestal that is how I have been feeling people have been talking to that way to me as well I'm 28 and single Trying to enjoy it but people keep reminding me thank you for your video, new subscriber here
Am I the only one who STILL hugs their pillow regardless of being single or in a relationship?
Have you ever stopped to wonder what guys want?
Haha, good one.
Lawshorizon so many people in the comments clearly feel threatened by the idea of a woman who is okay with herself.
*****... That's likely because so many guys have been taken for a ride or had their kids taken away and gutted in the divorce courts up to lifetime alimony-theft -- all done by women who felt OK with what they were doing.
That literally makes no sense, why would she do that?
Lawshorizon bc she should spend her life concerned with what others want?
I'm adoring everyone's comments about their own experiences with being single, especially being sexually and romantically inexperienced in their twenties. It's a larger percentage of the population than people usually figure and hearing from people always seems to help me normalize it in the midst of the two tropes of singledom we see in movies and TV and books and the rest of pop media.
i can relate to this video so much!!
That bit about love being a feeling or a choice. True. Feeling in the beginning and a choice afterward. Life changing insight right there.
21 , never had a girlfriend. Definately feel all of these, but in my case I've come to understand that I'll never be in love
Randomstuffs261 you never know what the future may hold! Love may be out there (:
That's a really loaded statement! What do you mean, exactly?
NOT YOU YOU TROLL THE OP ;>__>
May your swords stay sharp! (mysss29) Didn't realise it was loaded :/ just means that I'm not really going to find love
Randomstuffs261 It is pretty tough finding love these days
i've always been single and i'm 23 ~ it's definitely hard explaining that to a lot of people my age - particularly because i find that i'm always looked at sympathetically when i tell people that. except, i don't really want to be in a relationship and i never really have. i have so many other priorities in my life that i can't imagine trying to deal with an added person in there all the time... but now of course after years of that i've had many nights of "am i broken?" "is there something wrong with me?" "am i aromantic? am i asexual? who the fuck even knows anymore"
No worries I was the same with 23. I went abroad (London! I'm Swiss) for an internship, changed uni for my master thesis... I could do all that without considering the feeling of some guy. Now I'm 26, graduated, I want a job and an appartment and I met a really nice guy around whom I feel super comfortable and I can see myself doing couple-y stuff now... Enjoy your single time and at some point you'll enjoy the idea of a relationship if you meet someone you really like :)
That is definitely very nice about being single! I've been in a relationship since I was 20 years old and I sometimes wish that I had met my boyfriend later. It is just so much easier to move around and "follow your dreams" without having to worry about what they want/ if you are going to be apart for some time.
I'm 23 too and single. I'm super comfortable with that, with me. I really like my freedom and being all by myself. It's true that sometimes we kinda wish someone to be our partner in life. But, I think being single for a really long time helps you to know yourself; maybe that's way some of us are 'picky', 'cause we know what kind of person we could be with.
Sorry if I make a few mistakes, English isn't my first language.
your english is lovely! and it's nice to know that there are others out there who feel the same way! :) and yes! i understand about the "picky" thing, it's like i've spent a long time thinking about this ~ i have SOME idea what i'm looking for
I'm in exactly the same situation. I'm 23, never had a serious relationship.
When a girl with so much going for her as this girl does is single for 5 years, somethings going on.
I think she summed it up when she said she would describe herself as very "unavailable".
I don't know what my search history says about me, but this video recently popped up as a suggestion. After 10 years with one person, we decided to call it quits as we both wanted different things at different times. I relate a lot to your understanding that you know you can make it in this life, but also the bouts of loneliness. Thanks for making this, its good to know Im not alone.
here we see the next CAT lady.
Seems like all those men had been waking up to MGTOW.
TJCID22 and they turn their heads wondering what happened when it was them all along
Its beautiful isn't it!
Notice how we all have an uncle or grandfather who sometimes pulls you aside as if sharing a secret then tells you "Don't get married" but as soon as he says it he laughs it off as a joke?
Look at the related video, 8 months ago she released a video called truth or drink with my ex and shes kissing him. that was made before this video. SO EVEN ON HER CHANNEL SHE IS BEING FRISKY WHILE SAYING SHE IS SINGLE
I totally resonate to the priority reasoning. It's a GREAT indicator and I don't think you need to compromise early. You know in yourself that if you're not driven to WANT to try and compromise or make sacrifices for someone, that they're obviously not important enough. You seem like an intelligent, open and aware woman who'd be able to see the situation for what it is ... tis awesome to have that trust in yourself. I've also been single for years but it was necessary ... I needed to work on myself and heal some things. Now I'm in a good space to start letting someone else in 🔥
Awesome video! Keep sharing your thoughts. Love it!
never mind the topic, I really liked the video in its honesty and unscripted-ness, it really felt like a conversation in a way, you getting prompted and developing your thoughts partially in the moment. It was a pleasure to watch and resonated with me in many points as well but also gave me new interesting ways to think about this topic. Thank you.
I have been single for my entire life and I WANT to be single for my entire life! I LOVE being alone, traveling alone, working alone and spending time with my animals "alone". Maybe I want to get a man when I am like 60 to have a fun retirement with. Maybe not! I would never change for another person.
I think that a lot of people are perfectly fine alone, it is those around you who want to push you to get married and have children eventually because that is societys norm. Especially towards women. Especially towards attractive women. Men are not nearly as pressured. It all goes back to "women can't take care of themselves" which is disgusting, but it still lives on and infiltrates our minds. It needs to be more ok for women to live their own lives. If no one else in this world were in relationships, would you want to be in one?
you are joking right?? men are not pressured to be in a relationship? then why when a girl in her late twenties is single she`s viewed as a strong independent woman who is focusing on her career but when it`s a guy he is just a lonely loser who plays video games in his mother basement? i`m a guy who also likes being alone and focusing on me and trust me i get a lot of shit too..especially from my family
putza10 Of course men are also pressured, especially with sex, but not nearly as much as women with relationships and kids.
Men are looked at like they are creepy and a loser if they aren't in a relationship by a certain age.
You have no idea what its like being a man, you will never know because you are too busy feeling good about yourself for being a strang independant womynz. I see you have cats. Hmmmm
Emelie yeah I think I'll only get into a relationship in old age. Lol.
just watched this and loved it, good on ya!!!!! :-D
I dont even know how i came across this video when scrolling but accidentally opened it decided to just watch it and was pretty surprised this was a great video and relatable having being single for a while myself but kudos for talking about this so openly and honestly that takes a lot of guts keep on keeping on
Waiting for someone perfect? That is why you are single. Get yourself a cat or two; you will need them!
She waits while she is young and not so ugly. Girls tend to lower their expectations as they get closer hitting the wall.
And then bitch about superficial guys when nobody is interested anymore and when the power balance is reversed. "I haven't even been with 50 guys!"
Nop, she is single cause right now she can have anyone she wants without any investing of resources or effort... so she is never going to value anyone
Josh White is she around 30? She's probably responsible, independent and intelligent, but I bet that selflessness will go away pretty soon, or worse, she will demand selflessness from you. Anyway, happy for you :) btw, are you cio or something?
Coloss she's 29 I'm 31, I doubt she will turn selfish it's just not in her personality, as far as demanding I become selfless there is no need for that I'm old enugh to have learned the value of a good woman so I do treat her well, it has to be mutual I wouldn't be selfless myself if she was selfish, I used to date selfish girls just to deliberately undermine that trait then leave them(when I was young and mean lol).
You don't choose to stay in love with someone, you choose to stay with them because you KNOW you love them.
Hannah, from all what you've said I just have to tell you that I admire how grounded and honest you are. And waiting for the one who fits perfect to you isn't an utopian dream at all, it only shows once more that you expect something from life and that's great! There are so many people who don't expect much from life, who are afraid of it. But being able to wait is a strength and at 24 you definitely don't have to be afraid of anything perfect that could happen to you - 'cause it will :)
Your awesome. I love your humour, honesty and positivity. You have a new subscriber. ;)
Great video - felt like it was the internal monologue of every single person in the world, ever! I've been single for 2 years and when I recently went into hospital, I stayed home for 3 weeks alone to recover... AND I loved it. But then I questioned whether I had got too good at being alone and I couldn't stop questioning it. I think I did that because everywhere we look we are taught that single means depressed and being alone means being lonely! We all have lonely moments but being single isn't a complete shit show like is portrayed in the media. Everyone needs cuddles though, that's just human nature. What you said about self-reliance is exactly what I believe being single for a while has taught me, and I don't think I could have learnt that another way. That self-reliance is so reassuring in those low times. P.S. Best outro ever.
Being single is not too bad.Sure,there moments of loneliness and desire to be intimate with someone.However,it's better to be single than be in a bad relationship.
at least you know someone actually wanted you in the first place
Logan York Really?Would you be happier if someone you don't care about wanted you?
Logan York also being single doesmt mean there arent plenty of people who are in love with you or fancy you that you dont want or think would fit with and you can still casually have sex with people all the time single and have lots of friends so how does single equate to not being loved, admired, attractive or thought of as a great person??
Cheers Hannah for sharing! Your thoughts were very inspiring
I totally agree on so many terms with you since I am also single for 5 years! Amazing video it really helped me to see that I am not the only one how struggles with some of these points 😊
Hitting the subscribe button! Being single can be so crippling but so empowering at the same time. I'm 25 been single my whole life, my school friends are starting to get married so it's a constant battle in my mind on whether it's a good thing or a bad thing 🙄 it was nice to see this video
Its a good thing for women. It's a terrible decision for men.
Calisthenics and Fruit dude what are you talking about
Dem leafy greens also...................
I relate so much to the first point. I've got like 4 very close friends and sometimes I need to choose whom to tell that fun thing that happened to today or whom to ask if I struggle with making a decision. When I was in a relationship, that person was always the one I'd ask and tell everything.
met u today! it was so fun! ily!
I love this ! Thank you Hannah !!!
I'm just recently single (two months single) and I'm still in the heartbroken stage (I was cheated on, it was an ugly and long break up). I've been casually dating around and she (my ex) already had a new gf within a month of us breaking up. I'm confused and I feel tired all the time and I hold back my tears all the time. I do like the girl I'm currently dating but I don't see a future I just see fun (and she knows that) but I feel guilty for dating her when I'm very not over my ex that screwed me over in so many ways.
I feel you! my ex gf actually broke up with me to be with her new gf and that does hurt! I did have a rebound person as well and let me tell you, that was not good! It felt good at first and I get that you kind of want to show to your ex and yourself that you can find someone new as well but I discovered that I needed to be alone during that time. I needed to concentrate on myself and I didn't want to be such a douche like my ex. Sometimes I still miss her but now I distanced myself enough from her and from our relationship and I'm able to see the good things of being single and (yes believe me) also of not being with her anymore. I met a lot of amazing people I wouldn't have met if I were still with her or not single. i'm still single btw but I'm more confident than before and more ready for my future partner whenever that one will come. Lots of strength and love for you, I promise: I know it will get better!
***** yes I agree :)
Hannah Witton thank you for your advice and kind words 🙂 yeah we're on the same page. I probably rushed into dating because my ex has a new girlfriend so soon (stupid, I know). But yeah, thank you so much for replying! I love your videos so much 😀
I'm sorry
Lets see how perfect you are without makeup.
shots fired
alastair nicholson look at that bitterness
look at that tone policing
alastair nicholson
make up? more like fake up. lolololol
Suppppaaaaaa Hooooooootttttttt!!!!!!!
What percentage of messages do you respond to on dating apps?
I feel better now for realizing that I'm not alone in having slight insecurities about being single. like feeling that I lack closeness.. thanks for doing this video :)
I recently read an article written by an psychologist. The article was about the question "I'm still single an i don't find the right one". The question was from a women in the middle ages and I was very intrested, what the psycholgist would answer. The psychologist mentioned in the article an experiment, about a man, who was very successfull in life except that he hasn't got a girlfriend. So this man wrote like an announcement about him in the newspaper and 35 women wrote back. He dated every 35 women and found the love of his life among them. He choosed the woman who had her own life with hobbys, friends and so on, and the woman who said: I like to have a partner in my life, but I don't need a partner. The other 34 women had the opinion, that they need a man to be happy and need a man in their life.
Basically the psychologist said, that you have to fill your life, with alot of things you love and that there is no reason to live a life unfulfilled, only because you don't have a boyfriend. Thats exactly what I see in you Hannah, that you have a fulfilled live and someday you will find your love, but don't let the fact that you are single now get you down.
I discovered your channel from jerriesblog and he said in his videos, that his viewes should send you greetings from him. So greetings from Germany, I hope that I don't have too many mistakes in this text and that you can understand the message :)
Why yes, of course I'd agree with my colleague. For example still world famous people like Nikola Tesla, Isaac Newton and Wright Brothers (invented flight) all were single their whole life. There is a lot of different things to pursue in life.
Harfenqueen This sounds very interesting! :) Do you remember the name of the article and where was it published?
Personally, I've been single for almost 5 years. Over the years I've had a few flings and friends with benefits arrangements, but I've yet to feel that desire to fully commit to someone again. I'm honestly certain that I would be terrible in a relationship at the moment because of things I like, and my daily routine. Right now I'm the only person in my group of friends who isn't in a relationship. Sometimes I definitely feel lonely and such, especially when something big happens that affects me negatively, but for the most part I look at my friends and am thankful that I'm in a state of being single. They all have to put so much effort into their relationships, and often tell me things about arguments and issues. That alone is enough to reaffirm being single, because I would be terrible when it comes to fights and such.
I think I've definitely become quite introverted since my last real relationship though. I often just go off the grid and ignore my messages while gaming or writing for hours at a time, and I'm fairly certain if I was with someone that liked to message one another all day, or if we lived together, she'd get seriously annoyed with me doing so. I also have trouble sleeping so every night in bed I'm on my phone till 2-3am writing, or watching vids on here, which would be hard to do when sharing a bed. It's all the little things that add up to an overall desire to remain single. You don't have to worry about another person and can do what you want to do without wondering how your actions could affect a partner.
Of course not all relationships are hard. Only one of my friends is in an honest relationship where it's easy to commit to his girlfriend. When I see them together I think; "that's the kind of relationship I want when I decide to settle down."All the others are merely with their partners because they're afraid of being alone. They settle for people that they have little in common with or that they don't love. And that just seems so twisted to me! I mean I totally respect their fear of being alone, but if they're with someone that's hard to be with, then wouldn't moving on be better?
Scott Boyle well said, relationships can be hard. I'm not single but I don't ever wish that I was or anything like that because I feel that I am truly in love and that it is worth it. I feel that as long as you're happy then that's great 😊
Excellent Video, very honest! You did some great processing, and conclusions of thoughts. Really appreciate hearing where you were coming out on things, as you shared.
Being Single for a long time is definitely a unique place of being. I have been there much longer than you. Just don't slow down your possibilities too long, as it does become more difficult to get out of the Single state, it seems from my experience. However, there is nothing wrong with being Single.
Keep up the good work with the Videos.
I think people would be surprised you’re single cause of the kind of person you are and the fact that you seem so lovely and brill x all the love
Hannah finds the best ways to allow viewers to relate to topics without discriminating. Thanks Hannah.
I love this video so much. I'm recently single and what you said about what's meaningful in being single made me cry from joy and relief and relating-ness. Omg. There is something to get out of being single.
Kelsea O'Reilly Yea, it's called self discovery and being introspective.
I hug my pillow too. It was good to hear someone else say that. Thanks Hannah
Man, this video is so relatable. Well done on all the points
This has been a completely interesting video damn hannah
What the hell is wrong with all of the comments. Looks like every guy commenting here is a sad lonenly guy who cannot get the girl of his dreams and gets mad about women because of it. You go girl! everyone has those insecurities, and you seem emotionaly healthy enough to have a good life!
cilveti it's because her video got picked up by some women hating sites and CZcams channels so they all decided to come in droves and hate on her.
cilveti and you didn't refute any of the comments you're complaining about.
Hannah , I just want to give you a hug , I have been single for 2 years .but from what you are talking in your wonderful video , I feel that you need someone to care about you in your deep heart. I almost cried when I saw your tears in your eyes but controlled. I think most guys they don't want to invest a lot to women. but , it takes too much courage to share your feelings , I dare not to . let's wait our guys and at the same time keep investing in our careers. you are a great idol! be yourself!
Normally, I do not like listening to a VLOG on CZcams that relates to love or relationships. But for some reason this kinda hit me more than I was expecting.
I have been single for nearly two years now and I have enjoyed the sense of freedom that it has granted me. Until now, I spent my entire early adult life (age 17-26) in a relationship and I found that I had gotten to a stage where I did not know how to look after and support myself without relying on another. It has been quite empowering to rediscover myself and realise that I am strong as an individual.
Due to this, I feel like I am simply not ready for a relationship as, like you, I am not sure if I could find the time to get to know and share my life with someone. Will I be ready in the future? Who knows.
For now, I am going to enjoy my life. Thank you for such a thought-provoking video.
I think it just depends how you're wired. Personally I like being single, it just suits me, my job and lifestyle better. Also divorce can be expensive!
Hollywood is wrong about love. Love isn't about looking pretty or all the things you desire, or romance. It's about trust and co-operation. You gotta start by getting to know eachother without weird expectations complicating things. The more you learn about eachother, the more chances appear to create an emotional connection. It starts with just doing things you both like together. Pick a moral topic, see how you both feel. Then it grows to cheering eachother up on bad days. Remember, there shouldn't be any expectations. You can always ask someone to take something into considederation, but you're not entitled to anything.
Kinda like what you said about those older couples choosing to love one another. If he chooses to do something for you, it's his good will at the root. If you are forcing some behaviour on him, it's in the context of "who is more right" which means you are rivaling eachother's values and one has to "win" to convince the other. This is not co-operation or freedom of agency and any actions performed by him under this guise are essentially meaningless. They show his willingness to submit to your ideals, but that's not love and it will never turn into love. He will bend over backwards and hold on for dear life, but at some point he's going to spring upright and it's gonna propel him straight out the door.
So in short, to find non-fictional love:
1) Start with no expectations.
2) Get to know a prospective mate's moral philosophies.
Only if you have similar moral codes:
3) Give it time to grow into a friendship you're both comfortable expressing yourself in.
4) The relationship begins. Request, don't demand. Don't freak out over hearing no.
I knew my current gf for 6 years before we started dating. We've been together for another 6 years.
Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is love. So the question is, did you make any good male friends in your 5 years being single?
You know what, I haven't been following CZcamsrs for a while because I didn't feel represented and I couldn't relate. This video changes that. Thank you!
Oh hey, this was uploaded on my birthday! Haha. I wish her all the best in finding love though. The struggle to find love is real