20 Things I Learned In My 20s
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- čas přidán 14. 06. 2024
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Thanks for watching! What is one of the best life lessons you've learned?
Debt is not a lifeline.
Heartbreak doesn’t kill you
Allison Anderson I've learned stop spending my life trying to please other people, and focus on being happy within myself. And not to overbuy shoes and coats - I work from home, they barely get used, they clutter my house and they make me poorer! Oh, and I'm 45 and still learning about life 😘
Friends influence you a lot so choose wisely
that one embarrassing thing you did when you were 17 and have held on to? No one else is even thinking about it
and
You parents were crazy; it doesn't mean you are
1. It is better to regret the things you've done than the things you didn't do
2. Stop fearing failure
3. It's ok to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life
4. It's never too late to change or reinvent yourself
5. Someday is not a day
6. Don't wait to travel
7. Focus on experiences, not things
8. You will have to work harder to make friends and maintain friendships as an adult
9. Another person's beauty does not detract from yours
10. There is space for you in this world exactly as you are
11. You will not stick to habits and routines that make you miserable
12. Trust your gut
13. Begin investing and saving with compound interest as soon as you can
14. Your tastes will change
15. Rent the cheaper apartment
16. Let go or be dragged
17. Adults don't necessarily have it all figured out
18. Everyone is on their own timeline, and no timeline is "the right one"
19. It's ok to not be on a traditional path
20. The time will fly and 30 isn't as old as you think it is
Thank u....
Thank you!
thank you for this
thank you
Arigato
'Let go or be dragged'.. I AM SHOOK
The number of times I have had to repeat that over and over in my head to get myself to let go of something and move on... it's a game changer.
Seriously! Might get that tattooed.
I like myself a little more each year. Like every year of my twenties I've grown as a person exponentially more than just the year before.
Same! It's so great.
Narcissism is nothing to be proud of.
@@postedback says the narcissist. Ease up, bro.
@@postedback Lmao get a grip. Loving yourself is not narcissistic WHAT
I've learned you shouldn't waste energy on people who don't understand the path you're on, who you really are or don't add value to your life. I spent so many years trying to maintain friendships with people who just brought me down, all because I thought I owed them the loyalty. But it's ok to not be friends with people you were friends with in high school or university. People drift in and out of your lives, they're not always meant to stay.
I so understand you there. You should know when a friendship has run its course on whether you kind of dred having to hang out with them or are excited. The obligation to stay friends because you grew up together or what have you is a hard mindset to break out of. I've recently ended a friendship with one of my best friends growing up, and honestly I wish her the best, but it feels good to finally let that go because we weren't serving each other like good friendships should. 😁
Thank you Kelsey 🖤
THANK YOU!
Sammmee! This is me kelsey
Yes, uni seems to be a time largely of seasonal friendships rather than lifetime loyalty club type ones.
Biggest lesson I learned in my 20’s DO NOT SETTLE ON WHO YOU ARE DATING! I wish I told myself this earlier I was in a relationship with a guy who was not right for me for 6 years of my life. I was so relived when we broke up now I’m married to the love of my life and he is so understanding and caring and now I know that I made the right choice!
Yes!!!! I feel you on this one! I always got so attached and didn’t like change but that meant two 3 year relationships that went on farrrrr too long!!
Worng lesson. You should choose wisely from the beginning. Cock carousel destroys women.
So true!! I always thought my boyfriend was having a hard time and that he would get better eventually. It took me four years and a traumatic separation (he cheated on me with a friend that he's with now) to realize that he's a narcissist. I've tried so hard to make his life easier, to save him from everything he was going through, but nothing was ever good enough. I really hope that I'll find a person with a good heart that loves me the way I am.
This!! I am currently in my early 20s and ever since I was 17 I felt pressured that I should have a bf, lose my virginity, move in with someone, get married etc just because everyone else around my age are doing so but sometimes I have to remind myself of how grateful I am not to be stuck with someone (and I try to avoid people talking a lot about their partners to make me feel less anxious about being single)
I just mainly want to focus on building my career in tech and travel more because I love the freedom of going somewhere new and meeting new people who have different culture from my own
@@postedback i somewhat agree but sometimes its hard when you feel so insecure about yourself, I remember dating someone once just because they asked me out irl and I wasn't used to being asked out.
“Everyone is on their own timeline, no timeline is the ‘right one’ “ this one might just halve my stress level. It’s my 21st birthday today and I spend so much time just criticising myself for not doing as much my peers but it hasn’t really ever hit me that maybe we just all want different things from lives.
im glad that I went travelling on my own in my 20s. I couldn't be bothered waiting around for ppl to come with me. I travelled to 20 countries.
that is an honest mood, though my problem is that everytime I plan to travel my friends want to tag along and then it kinda feels like I am babysitting them
Waaaa, thats amazing. How did you do that? Were you scared going alone though?
When you said “i hadn’t spent any time living in the real world yet” I felt that being in school for so long I feel like I’m waiting to start living
This is what I needed. I'm 32 and have a twin brother who has achieved so much more than me so it makes me feel like a failure. He's married with a baby and his own house, three college degrees, and a job as a professor, while I have none of that. I have only had part-time jobs, working on getting a certificate in college (I have no degree), have never been in a relationship, and don't want to get married. I know everyone has their own path and goes in their own pace but it's hard to see those around you of the same age moving ahead in life while I'm not.
you’ve never had a boyfriend before? ever?
@@Julianaypl it’s not that uncommon..
@@kyrakronberg6720 I thought it was, ive never had a boyfriend and im only 16 and i feel like a weird extinct animal
He's married with a baby?:)
@@rajatchopra1411 yes, and his own house
I’ve been a fan of yours for years and feel like this transition and growth over the last 10 years is so relatable.
I'd add that friendships change as your values change, and that's okay :)
I can't say how perfectly timed this video was for me. I really needed to hear this right now, thank you .
"if you're not failing, you're not trying hard enough." LOVE THIS. I'm going to paint it on my wall LOL
My mom always says her 30s were the best years of her life, that has always made me feel better!!
My mom said the same thing. At 38 years old, so far I would have to say I’ll probably be in the same boat. :)
Ask her to define why it’s the best for her, i would love to hear the stories ^^
i agree 31-41 were great
that would make me feel better too if my mom said that
@@HazelGrey. sorry didn’t see this till now! She had me at 31 and my brother at 34 so she always said she loved having young kids and having everything be magical for us when we were little so I’m sure that was a big part of it!
As someone who is 38, I have to say that the dirty thirties rock! You stop caring what everyone else thinks so much and embrace YOU. It's awesome. Good luck everyone!
Thank you Allison for this video! I turned 26 last month. I think for me the biggest takeaway from my early 20s is that I need to prioritize my mental health. I always invalidate my own feelings whether it's about a relationship, a friendship, work, studies or finances, and just continue to be in an endless cycle of depression. When I turned 26 I decided I will place more focus on therapy, journaling and meditation to heal myself. I feel like this would ultimately make me feel better physically as well.
I just turned 24 recently and everything you said resonated with me very deeply. Your 20’s are a crazy and confusing time!!
I am turning 29 and honestly the closer I get to 30, the more content I feel. I feel like I really grew into the person I truly am. In my early 20's I was a completely different person.
I'm 26 and I'm starting to feel this way. Some people around me (coworkers, friends, family even) are often jarred by the new me (I used to be rather judgemental and sarcastic---bad coping mechanisms--and now I'm more intentional and vulnerable), and that worries me a little bit. But I do need to grow, I truly hope that they understand the new me. Your story gives me hope!
Another thing I want to share - DON'T BE AFRAID TO SPEND MONEY ON EXPERIENCES/EXCURSIONS. Obviously, don't go to the point where you're starving or out on the street, but your money will return, your time won't. It could all be over tomorrow and we can't take our money with us. Take that trip, go on that hike, book that flying lesson, that cooking class, that painting class, learn a new language or a new skill. You never know who you'll meet or what opportunities you'll run into and where that can take you. Life is about EXPERIENCES and taking chances!
I’m only 22 and have learned SO much not only from this video, but other videos you’ve posted, like the things i shouldn’t waste my money on in my 20s 😂 you are the speaking the truth we all need to hear!!
I’m in my last year of my 20s and the best advice I have is to spend the decade figuring out who you are and what you love. I remember being such an insecure mess when I was younger. Trying to emulate people I admired. But after I started focusing on listening to my own wants and needs, I found my own voice and my confidence improved drastically. Confidence at work, in who I am, in my decisions, in who I love, etc. it’s still a work in progress, but that’s where I focus my energy and it has really helped me become the woman I am today!
Love your channel and loved growing up with you through the decade!
I always say I’m more excited to turn 30 because you have more clarity what you want in life than in your 20s. At the same time, I’m 26, I’m working to earn my bachelors degree, working in progress to overcome driving anxiety, and still living with my parents (I live in San Francisco 😑), and thinking that 30 is four years away is a little daunting. This video was relatable and yet gave me a new perspective!
This is exactly what I needed. I'm 26 and literally can relate to practicaly every point that you made.
I was in a very complicated and frustrating situation in life. I'm looking for a job and I'm not even sure it suits me. I graduated from college twice and now live in a different country but I found your great videos on youtube and it gives me hope.
Summary of the video:
1. It’s okay to not know what you want to do for the rest of your life
2. It’s never too late to change or reinvent yourself
3. “Someday” is not a day - if you want something you need to plan it
4. Focus on experiences not things
5. You will have to work harder to make friends and maintain friendships as an adult
6. Another person’s beauty does not detract from yours
7. There is space for you in this world exactly as you are
8. Don’t stick to routines and habits that make you miserable
9. Trust your gut
10. Start investing and saving asap
11. Your tastes will change
12. Rent the cheaper apartment
13. Let go or be dragged - let go of grudges, accept when it’s time to let go
14. Adults don’t always have it all figured out
15. Everyone is on their own timeline
16. It’s okay to not be on a ‘traditional’ path
17. 30 isn’t as old as you think it is
My 20s aren't as fun as I thought it would be. I'm hopeful for my 30s though.
I’m 22 and a recent college grad. I NEEDED this! Thank you ❤️
Allison - I've been watching you since your beginning and I'm turning 30 in about 2 weeks, so we're about the same age. :) I was wondering if you would have touched upon a certain topic, yet I didn't hear it, so I wanted to share it. For the ladies - PLEASE do not make your entire life about chasing a man or needing to find with or be with a man. I have had so many female friends lose themselves over a guy and cut their friends out and it's just a toxic way of life, IMO. On that note, just because you get into a relationship or get married, please do not toss your girlfriends because if that relationship comes crashing down or gets rough, you won't have anyone to turn to. I'm obviously not saying don't have relationships, and I went through 3 break-ups in my 20s, buuuuut you do not NEED a man to take care of you or to support you. I run into so many women that just can't be single for any amount of time and were constantly looking for or chasing a guy and couldn't go without that constant chase... They would break-up and within a week or month, be onto the next one. You're allowed to be single, work on yourself, and just let things happen naturally. You also do not need to feel scared once you hit your late 20s and are not married or aren't in a committed relationship that could turn into marriage. I know women in their late 30s and even 40s that are single and never married, yet they have a ton to offer. Your self-worth, who you are, and what you're capable of is not defined by a partner or another person. Have your own sense of identity, separate from your partner... Your own hobbies, goals, dreams, ambitions, friends, all of that.
Agreeeed. It's a really hard thing also in your 20s and psh for every decade following to not feel like you aren't checking all the boxes of adulthood. School. Job. Marriage. House. Babies. Promotions. Retirement. It's exhausting. As someone who literally spent most of her 20s single (I was 28 when I got into the serious relationship that I am in now) it honestly feels great to look back now and be glad that I didn't settle for dating someone that I knew wasn't going to go anywhere, and I learned to be responsible for myself. What are my hobbies? What do I enjoy doing? If that's your thing then go for it, but friendships can last much longer and be much more of a positive influence on your life than romantic partners sometimes. 😁
I wish the language in your message would have been more general to broaden its application since it's such a great one! I'm not even saying this to be politically correct. This is a great message for everyone. PEOPLE don't need to spend their time chasing partners or realtionships of any kind (i.e. friendships of little value). Put the energy into yourself and be open to things happening organically how and when they're meant to. Don't ignore your gut, red flags, etc. 🙂
Thank you, I really needed that. My boyfriend broke up with me in December after having cheated on me with a mutual friend. I started seeing a friend of mine soon after that probably because I couldn't deal with being alone. I really regret this decision because a month ago he told me that he's in a commited relationship now. We ruined our friendship by crossing a line that should not have been crossed.
I'm really trying to be happy by myself again and not to look for a person to complete me. I know I'm prone to losing myself in a relationship to the point that I'd probably settle again, even if it was a toxic relationship. I need to get my priorites straight!
Thank you❤❤❤
Love this! It can be applied to many ppl and situations.
Great video! 38 y/o here and I agree with everything you listed. The whole “adults don’t know what they’re doing” is so true. I was in my late 20s when I read this article listing advice those in their 30s would give to those in their 20s. The piece that always stuck with me is “No one knows what they’re doing.” Several months later the same publication put out advice 40 year olds wanted those in their 30s to know. What was on the list? “No one knows what they’re doing.” Kind of like your moment with the “let go” quote, this changed my whole outlook. No one ever has it all together, and we are all figuring out life as it comes along.
I’m 58 and I’m in the prime of my life!
One thing I learned in my 20s is that having kids is super hard! Don't hurry into that one, people, especially if you don't have close family or friends to help you regularly. It took me years for it to be more beautiful than it is hard.
And if you can, go to therapy *before* having kids. It's a life saver.
that's really reassuring! I felt like I had to have a child before I turned 30 and I have lots of friends around my age (23) who have babies. I question how they are able to do this.
actually I might tell my friend that advice, she's currently pregnant and she was worrying a month ago about what if her baby grows up to be a sex worker
I recently discovered your channel, as I'm planning my first big solo trip to Alaska next month! Your travel vlogs are so beautiful and inspiring - I hope to capture a fraction of the magic on my trip. One of the biggest life lessons I've learned so far is that your relationship with yourself is the most important relationship you'll have - it's the only relationship that lasts from your first day to your last day, and it is the foundation of all other relationships in your life. You have to spend every moment of your life with yourself, so put in the effort to know, love, and appreciate that person! I think solo travel is an incredible way of doing that.
I agree!!
I agree about the haze after 21. I am only 25, but I often still say I am 21 because that is the last birthday I actually remember or looked forward to.
I ended up taking my gf who I met in college to her college prom and we eventually got married in our late twenties, graduated college after having no understanding of what college was nor having any desire to attend college, enjoyed a cool career in my field of study(EET) and had some great experiences along with some bad(heart broken, father passed away, etc). All this led me to me simple saying enjoy the journey! Keep GOD first and Family second!
As a 60+ retiree just delving into traveling alone, don't wait to travel can be applied to any part of your life. My friends can't understand why I would want to travel alone. But they have obligations that keep them from traveling very often. So at any age, just go for it. I really enjoy your travel information videos.
I agree with everything you mentioned in this video! I am currently 24 and have been learning about all of these things the hard way haha. I love the "let go or be dragged" and trusting your gut. There have been countless moments when my gut was telling me something, I refused to trust it, and ultimately paid the price.
Love your videos! I always learn so much from you!! XOXO
I've been watching you since you started CZcams and now I'm 30 too and this is relatable and raw. Thank you for this ❤️
What you've said in this video is so spot on! I'm turning 28 in January, and my life hasn't gone exactly as I planned. Once you've gained more life experience, you begin to realize that there is so much you can't control. For example, my Husband and I were living in Atlanta with full-time jobs. COVID-19 hit, and we both lost our jobs. So, in the blink of an eye we drove cross-country home to California. Now, we both work at a grocery store and live with my parents. Definitely didn't see this coming, but I've also come to realize that LIFE IS SHORT. The material things no longer matter to me, saving money is super important to me now. No matter how much you plan, we're all still kids wandering this world; nobody has life more figured out than the other.
How perfect that this came out today, really needed this 💕
you’re PREACHING in this video 🙌 i’m not in my twenties yet but this advice is exactly what i needed
Love how you’ve grown, Allison! I’ve been watching for over 10 years now and you’ve evolved so much! 👊🏽
I loved this! As someone in their 20s, I have definitely struggled with many of these and working through them. Thanks for sharing!
We are about the same age and I still took something from this and wish I had heard these things when I was younger! Love how articulate you are (seriously, make a podcast girl!)
Ahh I was thinking the same thing!
I also turned 30 this year and found so much truth in this video I wish I had figured out earlier...
This is the kind of content I need in my life 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 I could watch sit down chatty videos all day long and will search them out over any cleaning, makeup, clothing style video any day. They speak to me so much!!
I really needed this! I feel excited about my life again and I haven't felt that way in a long time. Thank you for making this video ♥️
This is the pep talk I've been needing!
I love these videos, feels like chatting with an older sister.
The years between 30 and 40 go even faster! And as you might expect, 40 is also not as old as you think. Lol. I have friends my age who have kids who are 20, some in elementary school and then there’s me over here with a 5 and 2 year old (I’m 43). There is no “normal”’ timeline for adults. I wish I hadn’t struggled with that so much and that I had just lived my life with an open mind and spirit without paying so much attention to those around me.
I’ve watched a lot of these types of lesson videos. Yours is undoubtedly my favorite, I agree with everything!!!
That was gold, and so was your speech!
I love what you said about it’s just as important to find out what you don’t like as what you DO like! The process of elimination! So true. I’ve felt like a failure at times because I’ve eliminated so many options and changed paths so many times but I’m getting that much closer each time! Thank you for this perspective 🙏🏼 ❤️
this video was so concise and well-said! I'm 21 and I really took these lessons to heart - i love all your advice videos and your youtube channel in general! you're so inspiring to me and are the reason I started to consider solo travel. thank you!!
This really brought me some comfort ! Thank you so much 💚
I am turning 20 next week and have already started dreading getting older but you saying that 30 is pretty cool and that you are going to enjoy it even more just gave me so much positivity about the life I have left to live :)
This is indeed therapeutic. Thanks a lot. Learned a lot from you
Love how you brought up the taking your spot mentality. I experienced this being done to me with work opportunities. I realized that we shouldn’t tear each other down. After that I adapted: don’t hate elevate. I help anyone that I can move up/reach their goals. I also stopped comparing myself to others. My time will come and everything happens for a reason. I also realized that there are other things to worry about then what others are doing/getting. And also I realized how tiering it was to compare myself to others achievements and how unhappy it made me. Now I worry about me and push myself. Turning 31 on Sunday =]
Awesome vid ! I was feeling lost and stressed , but now I'm feeling mellow and excited! Thank you!
30 is the new 20! Love watching your videos. I am in my 40’s but can relate and utilize your contents. There are so many things that we can learn from each other.
I’ve just found you today and I’m loving all your videos. You are exactly what I needed right now 💕
Yes to the part about friends! I just moved to GA from a different state during the pandemic so I have zero friends. I started my own channel to help me connect with people and not feel so alone!
Well done Allison! This is honestly such a positive video to watch! Your tip about traveling made me more motivated and inspired to actually apply for traveling jobs and programs and dive more into chasing my dreams and goals. And also at the same time, your tip about remembering that you have time put me at ease knowing that life isn't a race! Plus, just gotta say that I love your positivity about aging and how life just keeps getting better! So, Allison, just want to say that I hope and pray all the best and the better for you in your 30s! Thanks for sharing with us! ❤️
P.S. Love your name cause it is the same as mine...AND it's spelled the right way 😉
LOVE LOVE THIS VIDEO! I learned to let go of a lot of things and not get involved or care as much about other peoples drama's and problems that were directly related to me or anything I could do.
I love your authenticity so much; thank you for sharing what you have learned
So concise and to the point !! This is how you get your point across.
Great video 🌸
This was a such a goodie! First video I’ve seen of yours and being 20 yo I’m starting to think a lot about these kinds of things. Thanks for sharing and I look forward to the next decade of my life 😊🤘🏽
Great advice, thanks! Love your videos.
I feel like I constantly compare myself to others, instead of appreciating where I am and what I have accomplished. It is especially hard watching friends reach life goals that I really want to get to as well. I know that you are right, that we are all on our own path, and that everything will come with time! Also, that savings tip is no joke! I am 27 and am buying a condo, on my own, in less than two weeks!!
I've seen a lot of these types of videos on CZcams and yours is by far the best one! Love your content! ❤
Just found your channel and I’m really loving your content! So informational and wholesome💗
watching this the night before my 20th birthday; thank you for sharing all these nuggets of knowledge!
that was so raw and authentic, lots of love!
Awesome video, Allison!! I love your perspective. I’m only 23, but I relate to everything on this list. I’m going through that phase of wanting to travel and spending my money/time on experiences rather than things. Maybe I’m strange- but I can’t wait for my 30’s.
Hello Allison! Thanks for posting this! You have inspired me and I think I will do a list like this in August when I turn 30!
Turning 29 today and I can relate to SO many points here! Thank you so much for this video, Allison.
So true! I really appreciate how down to earth you in this crazy beauty industry!! I LOVE your point about the “scarcity concept” that just because someone else does have doesn’t mean I don’t have... ♥️
Hey Allison! I've been following you for years and I'm so glad to see the shifting in your channel, I love this kind of content. Also, LOVE your background. Do you have a room tour? Something about decoration? I'd love to see more as I'm doing an entire re-do of my home:) Thanks
Allison thank you for taking the time to put this video together! What brand is your long sleeve, that color is gorgeous!
You are so wise for your young 30 years. Love your content and always look forward to your next video. ❤
I absolutely love your videos. They resonate. Thank you for sharing!!
I’m turning 31 in a few days and I’m still struggling with comparing my life to those around me. Definitely not where I expected I would be but I need to just accept that and live my life.
Thanks for sharing your wisdom ☺️
❤️❤️❤️love!!! One of my favorite videos of all time
OMG you posted this video right when i needed it the most! 20s are really hard and I'm only at the beginning :( Thank you again
This is the first video of yours I watched and I enjoyed this list a lot! The quotes and all your points are so wise. I'll turn 24 next year and I wanna be setting real expectations on myself when I turn 30, so thank you for this raw advices
Allison, I just love your videos, thank you!
new here! I love how open, honest, and personable you are. :)
I love these types of videos!
Such a great video that I will be looking up to :D I'm in my twenties but I can especially relate to the process of elimination and don't wait to travel. The trip to LA this year changed my life!
i'm in my 19 and i'm surely going to adopt something from your advice like saving.
Thank you 🙂
This is great. So reassuring and relatable .
That´s a fantastic video!! Everyone should watch it! I was deeply stirred by it
“Let Go or Be Dragged” is now posted on my fridge. Many thanks.
watching this at 28 and can relate so much
This really resonated with me! Thank you!
I really enjoyed watching this video. Great content
Really love this video! I just turned 20 a month ago so this was great advice!
I am 21 now but I really enjoyed hearing these! Thank you for sharing.
Simply put: Enjoy THE Journey! 🤩 I was a high school athlete who knew nothing about college, yet was college bound until the end of my junior year when my high school (vocational school) canceled sports our senior year and I suffered a bad injury my junior year in both sports football and basketball. My blessing was attaining a academic scholarship that I had no idea what to do with. This experience alone helped shape my twenties. I went to and graduated college
Love it! I always say "Someday is not a day of the week."
100000% agree with deciding so early (regarding a college major)! i even researched my job trajectory, supposedly it was in demand (hell even know its growing "faster than average") but the BLS statistics have not supported what I've seen on the ground through trying to advance my career. As I've gotten more work experience, my career path is drastically changing.