How to Stop Being TOO NICE : Stop Being a Doormat
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- čas přidán 15. 06. 2024
- Nice Girls finish last. Today we talk about how to stop being too nice ! We know that going above and beyond for others, putting the needs of others before your own, is not the best. It can be because of low self esteem or low self worth that makes you feel the need to overcompensate, or it may just be in your nature to help and be give and it gets taken advantage of. I will give you advice on how to overcome that and get the treatment you deserve.
Enjoy ;)
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This is so true. I lost a friend about four years ago because she said I was too nice. She wasn't really the best person to be a friend with, but even with that, she was right. I was too nice and let people walk all over me because I was afraid to stand up for myself, and i wanted people to like me so badly. Now I have learned that I come first and that my needs are important. I don't let people walk on me anymore, and I'm learning to love & accept myself. Love your videos as always
How did you learn it? I’m still struggling
@@ayt1702Know your worth and add tax to it. Stop reacting emotionally on cheap people's mindset they'll never change.
@ayt1702 yes know your worth, I know someone too nice and it drives me crazy because this person doesn't see to one self. I don't understand it. Being nice sometimes is ok but all the time can be a bit boring
So happy for you
@@ayt1702 I'm just now learning it after a lifetime of being treated badly by people and not understanding why. I had very low self esteem & I still have family member who don't treat me the best but I'm setting boundaries with them. I am mostly likely much older than you are and it took me way longer than I hope it takes you. I started doing affirmations about myself and looking in the mirror telling myself that I love and accept myself just as I am. I started telling myself that I am a good person and worthy to be treated well & to have a good life. Sometimes when I can't sleep I will lay in bed and say affirmations about myself. I'm not perfect and still have lingering things, but much better than I was. I wish you the best in your healing journey and in finding true self love. Once you do it, even if it seems hard at first; you will feel so much better & you won't let people treat you badly any longer. xoxoxoxo :)
Being a people pleaser has definitely never worked with me!! Raise your standards and enjoy your shine because people are jealous ladies. Positive vibes to everyone here 😄💛
Let people go when they do not respect your boundaries. They won't like it but they will respect you, and others will observe it and will respect you as well
I used to go into dates when. Very young with the old "pick me, hope you like me " vibe. It never worked. Men treated me like trash and I never got a commitment.
Years later, I turned this energy around. I went in and projected energetically to the man that I was seeing if I liked him and if I wanted to pick him. Not arrogantly, but confidently. It worked, so many more men were interested and captivated.
my number one fault i give too much hoping to get even a portion of it in return. what i've learnt is it never works that way the more you give the more they want! and they'll leave you parched and dryingout in the desert. not only romantically . so now I'm learning to put me first its hard the guilt of not doing my all can sometimes be overpowering. however im discovering the freedom that comes after a NO and its bliss
My mother have tendencies to be too nice. She agrees on everything, to the point where she lends all of her last money and she doesn't have any to buy food at the end of the month. She also do work for many of her coworkers. Even her own son [my brother] is using her at every step. She is ruining herself and when I asked her why she is like that she just said she has a good heart. [and yes, men mostly run away from her, because they are done and bored with her] She is the perfect example of what not to be. Fortunately I was always more like my father, narcissistic gold-digger. Altough I am not as evil... I think I'll show this video to my mother. She might not be pleased at first, but it'll do her good.
I used to be like your mother. It never gets you anywhere with men. They kick sand in your face when you are overly nice. No one respects it. And respect is vastly underrated. I think to respect someone you need to admire something about them. And we don't admire overly nice people like your mother because on some unconcious level we know by doing all that she's not respecting herself. And no one can admire that.
My mom the same way. I just sent her this video. Growing up watching her doormat ways has made me totally opposite 😂😂
They don't pick me, I pick them
High value women do the picking/choosing among suitors who are courting her to prove they're the best suitor for her.
Hi Lisa, as a feminine woman, some people see it as our weakness, can u please make a video on how to handle creepy men, nosy n stalker like neighbors (even though living in a uptown neighborhood, there are still nosy aunties n creepy men/over the top creepy teenaged boys) to protect our femininity n not be perceived as weak, it could be an interesting topic, for us single women, if u have the time n wish to cover this topic: of being in ur feminine energy but being strong n assertive as well💪
Love ur videos❤ ur gorgeous goddess 💃
Tell them that you don't just wear pointy heels for looks . Or not 😂
Great question. I'd like to know. Being feminine and showing my figure can draw unwanted attention and behaviour at times, it's important to be safe
I am a small skinny femenine women with a nice car. I have a 90lbs German Sheperd. It gives me peace of mind no one talks to me when I'm with my dog. If I ever have a daughter I will get her a German Sheper
@@fluffyrambochiqui1836 👍💯💪
Bag an aggressive Narcissistic Ambitious Alpha Male...so the lonely "creepy" guys wont bother You.
if there's one thing i learned about saying "NO", it better, as a woman, to have secure resources. this helps us from getting rid of predatory providers who only provide just to impress. this is a hard lesson learned with my ex husband.
i met him when i wasn't contented yet with my financial status. in one of our dates, i said "NO" when i didn't want to be sent home by him. but at that time he has extra resources and i depended him on those.
cut to our marriage, i became his and his family's extended bank account. i was preyed on by a family of narcs who conatantly asked me for money.
now, when the man i am dating offers to bring me home i say "NO" even though i want to. i want to know how he would react to me saying no. after all, my home is a sacred space.
When i say no i get insulted. And im called rude and have attitude. Usually i block people but even when i communicate politely no i keep getting insulted
Its too hard to learn... Mothers should teach girls from childhood..❤
I have long had a huge bone to pick with people pleasers and the absolute counterproductivity their "niceness" causes for them and the people around them. But instead of angrily lashing out on the topic like I would have, you were able to nicely and politely, with compassion, explain why this is a problem for everybody. Bravo.
I love your feminity, when I feel I am to much in my head I come to your channel and I feel feminine and soft again ❤
When do you cut off a relationship? I tend to let people disrespect me multiple times before I call it quits because I hope for change
In my opinion, once is acceptable since people make mistakes and some deserve a second chance, more than that is unacceptable.
As long as you don't talk it out, he won't change. Always ask yourself questions like, "Is he really the right person for me? Do I really want to build a family and spend my whole life with him?"
If you can't answer these questions with a genuine "yes," then you need to cut it off. The relationship has simply no future.
Be honest, speak out what's bothering you, and don't let yourself be treated poorly. You deserve better ❤
Ask yourself how much disrespect are you willing to take and then draw your line. Some things can be smaller mistakes, but there are some red flags that should send you running.
I personally have a small list of red flags that if someone has those red flags, I run. They are my non-negotiables. Ideally you should have that before you start a new friendship or romantic relationship so when it pops up, you know it's time to leave.
I put what is right first. That way I am treating people with love.
As someone with a chronic illness . I will really appreciate a video how to dress feminine went you go to the doctor of hospital, because you don't want to wear high heels and a tide dress when you don't feel well .
the more feminine you are, the more others will try to bust your boundaries - it's a natural law.
Honestly just enjoy your life, no point in suffering and live for others. Set yourself free man, I’m so tired…I might as well finally become fearless or atleast try to reduce this to a level where it doesn’t affect my life.
So beautiful. So inspiring. Thank you for being your authentic heart centered self.
AKA the pick-me-ishas such a great message ❤ your videos have help me so much in my own individual journey !
A couple of days ago I discovered your channel and I love it so much 😃💛👏
This kind of content is so important for us ladies ! Actually it is so natural in us but life nowadays and society broke a lot of girls telling and showing us we need to perform and be like men. I am so happy I am starting to understand the whole feminity and masculinity game finally. There was a time I thought something is wrong with me... NO its just my feminity wanting to live 😅🙏⭐️🤗
Thank you I am so happy you are rediscovering your feminine power ❤!
@@Lisaglamour You always look so beautiful.... Bring back the long black satin gloves soon !!!
Love this dress on you ❤
Such a simple and yet great truth- u wont be needy coz u put ur needs forsy already. Wow!
I had to learn this lesson the hard way because my cousins were really egoistic bad people ( ok they're still bad but they are out of my life now)
Yes 😃 I'm watching again❤
Thanks Lisa neeeded this ! I PICK MYSELF ❤ and embellish myself ✨
I was needing this video. Thank you! 💐
Your whole page helps me so much omg your my savior
Hey! Lisa you don't know how much happy I am when I see your videos and my sister really really adore your videos so so much and I wish you have a wonderful weekend🤗🤗💗
Ive always been too scared to stand up for myself. The réseau is that I’m constantly being talked down at work.
I truly appreciated this video and it is also something that I have been guilty of. This can also happen at work that when you're always the 'yes' person, you'd only be tired in the end of it all. From experience and from the tips of your video, the only time that I believe it's appropriate to be 'too nice' is with yourself. It's always the boundaries that can protect us from this, but also important to keep our kindness through it all.
Looking forward to your next video!
I resonated so much when you said it's ok to be busy. For years, I would try to leave myself open for days at a time for friends or dates to be able to maybe spend time with me. But recently I realized I didn't like doing that. I felt like it made me seem desperate, and maybe at one point I was. But I don't wanna do that anymore. I'll make my plans whether that is for me time or spending time with friends. If someone wants to do something with me, then they should be a bit flexible if I already have plans on the first date and time they throw out.
This kinda came to a head over the holidays. I left a few days open to spend time with a friend who was coming back to her home state for Christmas. She ended up canceling very very last minute for not good reasons. It left a sour taste in my mouth, and I felt bad cuz I hadn't planned anything else with other friends or family cuz I wanted to spend time with this one friend.
This is also a lesson for me to give my time to people who are worthy of my time. Relationships should be equal. I have other friendships where I feel we give an equal amount of effort. But for this one friend, I felt like I give most of the effort. Yeah, we all get busy but there is a limit. So moral of the story for me: reciprocate the same effort I get from relationships. Don't be the one to always ask how they are first. Don't be the one who always goes to their house to visit. Don't be the one who always pays for your friend's food.
I love your videos, I have watched your videos for years now! thank you for being such an inspiring person :)
You know you're too nice when you feel bad for missing a phone call from him when you were busy or feeling bad for not replying for 5 minutes
You are wonderful, Lisa! Thanks for such a wonderful content, it really helps raise self-esteem!
Super important to learn. Also, I love your long hair Lisa!
Facts I pick myself 💕
❤Lisa, thank you so much for creating a safe and glamorous place for us Ladies to revel in our femininity! You are bringing us true beauty and value ⭐️
Thank you for sharing your wisdom, insights and knowledge 🙏❤
Lisa since I found you channel, you have been my life coach 💃🏼♥️. Thank you for passing on the knowledge that your mom taught you ♥️
I adore your videos!! You are a master at this thank you for sharing!
I love ur aura lady 💗 💖
Beautiful dress , Lisa! 💖💜 and an important topic
Loved this one❤ so nice Lisa!
I’ve been told all my life to tone down; I’m told all the time that I’m too outspoken and I’m too aggressive and I’ve been told that I’m super guarded ( It takes me a while to warm up to someone). On the flip side, I’m told that I’m too nice and men in the past have not wanted to even be friends with me either because I’m too clingy (when I come to love/care about someone, I love hard. I’m a Scorpio Sun, Cancer Moon and Leo Rising) or I come on too strong or they don’t like that I’m outspoken (It threatens them). I had a pretty traumatic heartbreak when I was 16/17 (I won’t go into details on what happened) that caused me to close myself off from every man (It was made worse when I was 20/21 when I liked a guy who had a lot of emotional baggage and looking back, he didn’t actually like me as a person and I closed myself off to male friends and colleagues) which I didn’t come to that realization until I got my current job where I met three men (two of them I work with directly and the other one I have a crush on) who have been nothing but kind to me. These three men because of the kindness and love that they have shown me have inspired me to open up to the possibility of finding love.☺️❤️
Thank you so much for all you share & helping me live , healthier happier & empowered.
You are simply amazing!
Thank you! It helped me so much! Learning to put myself first. Any other advice guys?
Thank you,you are so wise.
Excellent insights 💯💯💯💯
😂😂😂 I scored 14/100 on the people pleaser quiz…apparently my favourite word as a toddler was NO!!
3:35 put yourself first
You know what the problem is, when you are a queen you will attract a lot of man for sure, but nobody says that this THE man you will love too. As soon as you really also love a man, you must and will give effort especially if this is a man with high qualities who does not immediately ran after you. So Aura is important, but mostly the topics you mention are important at the very beginning.
Very interesting topic ❤
I love your dress🥰😻
Drop your hair care routine plz . Would love a video on that ❤️
Thank you so much for sharing your advice, you never fail to make me sit back and think about how I want to change for the better ❤
Unrelated : where can I buy a coat like her pink one with fur in the First clip?
I hate when I decline wrong dessert and people drill me as to why I’m declining. It does not serve me. (Sometimes I do want a treat but it has to be non-processed and paleo.)
Gorgeous dress Lisa 💃
Ciao, grazie for sharing this video with the 🌎 it was very informative and helpful 🎉🎉🎉
U are amazing lisa .. good mood,, good looking,, really smart girl in my opinion
Thank you 🥰
That's such a beautiful dress! Where is it from?😊
Love all her contants
Im Currently in changing modus and it becomes fun ❤
Hello Lisa, Thank you for the video. I have a question. Recently I started reading a book called "Why does he do that?" by Lundy Bancroft, which talks about abusive men and their value system. Often they see their partner as a prize they possess, therefore, feeling they can do whatever they want with them. In your videos you often talk about women being the prize, could you make a distinction between the two cases to make sure to keep a healthy relationship? Thank you in advance.
I wish you were my mother. I would be a better person.
Thank you❤and ı want to learn the name of movies in the video
You're so gorgeous inside & out !!!!
Where is this gorgeous dress from, please??
Can you do a video on how to look feminine at home please
This is a great idea. I’d especially like ideas for what to wear at home when guests are over.
Yes great ideas 💡
Don't wear frumpy old tee-shirts. Buy satin robes and satin pj's.
What a stupid question you dont need to be feminine all the time you allready are woman so no need to act and pretend to be feminine it gomes naturally
@@fa9183WTF😂😂 we can wear what we want at home i want to be comfturbale in bed
I needed this video! Is it possible to go from being super quiet and always alone (at school) to being confident and more assertive? I'm worried people are gonna think I'm fake or laugh at me if I try to assert myself. I'm getting better though! I used to be scared that people who are more popular (but still regular people) were gonna get their friends to attack me if I try to speak up for myself, even on small matters, since I'm so quiet and don't have many friends, but it's less of a fear now. Now, I'm mainly worried about being pitied or laughed at.
Just say oh I used to be so shy and laugh it off. Change your self perception. Tell yourself that you are a bold confident person and you just used to be shy. You don't have to stay that way. Give yourself permission to be confident instead of waiting for others
Don’t fake it. The person who just commented is right. Change your perception. You aren’t shy anymore
Even if people get surprised by it, and they may comment, don't worry, smile it off and enjoy your life. They'll get used to it.
Thank you for the replies ladies! I really want to be an assertive, bold person so bad. I want to be like one of those anime characters that are still quiet, but very cool and collected. Memories of the past is holding me back, but I'm still going to try going out alone dressed up until I eventually feel more confident
@@ev6564in addition to the comments above, practicing in a new setting with people who don't know you can help you get comfortable with being the person you are (without being boxed in by people's preconceptions about you). I was like you and this is what I did. Keep finding new environments where possible and own your quietness as there's power in choosing to spare your words 💪
Hi, i'm french and thank's for this video. Why there is Scarlett Johansson in picture? Is she considered a too nice person? I know Selena gomes is.
Iam a homemom, and there is someone always calls me so her sonn can play with my son. Its draining my energy i alaways say yes because iam home. But sometimes i dont want or i dont have the energy. How can i handle these
Lisa make a video how to make a man invest financially in you.
Whoa I never considered that desperate/clingy energy could be inherently masculine 🤯
👏👏👏
That usef to be me
Wht's your height?
I seem to want approval from women. (I am a woman) let's say I get a neighbor that's a couple
..I would ignore the man and try my hardest to to prove and be accepted by the female. Idk why I do this..... I am trying to change this
Lisa will you give me heart comment and reply my comment and I really sorry If I disturbed you so much😭😭😭😭😭
Siri tmouti😂
Theres no such as being too nice...Passive is a better word.
There are however alot of sociopaths who like to take advantage of people and try to walk over them..theyre the scum ..not you
we tend to demonise generally good people for being passive and they finish last?no dear, good people go to heaven, and they go first
also thanks for demonising being a kind person...
trust me when i say no one but a dirt bag wants a bad bitch..standing up for yourself is one thing..always standing up for yourself when noone is bothering you is not
Nice guys Finish last. At least Nice Girls stand a way better chance. If anyone is a doormat...IT IS THE NICE GUY. NOT SO MUCH THE GIRL.
No, nice girls finish in the very very last. So we all gotta stop being doormates. We can do it.
Wat??? Where is this womans cat?
I agree with you, but when you get married you should put your husband first, amd your husband should put you first-his wife.
Why we rather nice girls than authoritarian girls: because with nice girls you can stablish a dialog,..
I never said we should not be kind and considerate and communicate nicely. I am talking about avoiding being too nice and being a doormat. Everyone should be nice and treat people with respect, while keeping boundaries for themselves ☺️
I love your videos. Thank you so much. I've been working on my confidence and you're a great help. 🩷🩷🩷😊✨✨