Top 5 Mistakes Writers Make in the First 10 Pages
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- čas přidán 28. 05. 2024
- The first 10 pages of your novel are critical for getting the attention of an agent, an editor, a publisher, or anyone who reads your novel. In this video, I outline the top five mistakes I often see in these first pages. I’ll also show some examples of these mistakes so you’ll be able to spot them better in your own writing. Learn how to identify these mistakes, how they affect your story, and how to fix them in order to make sure the beginning of your novel truly hooks your reader.
THE TOP 5 MISTAKES IN YOUR FIRST 10 PAGES:
1. Character overload
2. All backstory, no suspense
3. Unnecessary details
4. Vagueness
5. Lack of setting
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My name is Alyssa Matesic, and I’m a professional book editor with 7+ years of book publishing and editorial experience. Throughout my career, I’ve held editorial roles across both sides of the publishing industry: Big Five publishing houses and literary agencies. The goal of this channel is to help writers throughout the book writing journey-whether you're working on your manuscript or you're looking for publishing advice.
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Really enjoyed this, and I look forward to seeing where your channel takes you.
Thanks so much, so glad you enjoyed!
instablaster.
Omg the god is here
He watches CZcams like the rest of us! Cool!
Holy sh*t it seems even the god of writers is here.
You are delightful, Alyssa. Friendly, intelligent, charming, and helpful. Well done.
Wow! Your videos have so much good information for new writers. The two I've watched so far are very helpful for reviewing what I've written in my first chapter. The biggest problem I'm having is introducing my male love interest (or rather the guy who will become the love interest). I want my readers to have a good understanding of his appearance and overall personality that will draw them in and make them love him (even before the protagonist falls for him), but I don't want it to read like the character profile I've written for him. This part is a little daunting because it's so important for the whole novel.
I love how simple and clear your explanation is.... Greetings from a writer ❤ all the best!
I would say what makes a detail "necessary" or not is whether it matters to the characters. Case in point: I once read and enjoyed a novel for preteen girls in which-in typical girly-girl fashion-one of its two protagonists spends a lot of time describing the clothes she and certain other characters were wearing. Being a middle-aged man (and therefore completely outside the book's intended audience), I couldn't really have cared less about any of the specific clothes she was describing, but having her do so immediately established one of her character traits while also introducing one of the dynamics at play in her relationship with her best friend who's the book's other protagonist: specifically, she's always wondering why her prettier and wealthier friend who can certainly afford the best of everything doesn't dress to show off her looks more effectively.
While all this talk about clothing could have gotten tedious if the author had indulged in it too much, she managed to keep it concise and to the point enough that it paid off beautifully later when the two protagonists' minds get magically swapped. When this budding fashionista starts dressing herself up to maximal advantage as usual while in her friend's body, she soon finds out why her friend usually preferred not to show off so much: doing so tends to attract a lot of unwanted attention from creeps and perverts. So, long story short: though I didn't really care who was wearing what, I did find myself caring that the character cared about these details, such that the story wouldn't have been as good without her critiquing them.
What an amazing reading experience! Thanks for sharing your observations!
Thank you!
Love this channel!
Your points make so much sense! Very helpful!
Love these videos.
Super practical.
So proud of you .. such a genuine person and enjoyable to learn from
These are GREAT TIPS!!!!
Good details,
I watched this video for the second time. Your content is so instructive and needed that reviewing it again continues to be helpful. Thanks again.
Thank you for sharing. I appreciate the advice you have so eloquently given. This is exactly what I needed to hear as an aspiring author. Now I know what I should and shouldn’t critique in my novel. Consider me a new subscriber to your channel.
Grateful for how specific your examples are re/ each point you make... Thank you...
Thanks it really helped
Thanks, these are really handy. I'm probably just writing a story, but these are still very useful.
Another helpful and concise video. These are super helpful in giving us new authors guidance on how to create a compelling story for readers that should grab the attention of agents. Thank you!
Wow everything about you is just gorgeous! 😍 💞💓 also thanks for the advice I really appreciate it ☺️
thank you 🙂
This is great, Alyssa. Super helpful.
Thank you, Brooke! Glad to hear it
Thanks. Yes, those are mistakes that any writer could easily make.
I really appreciate listening to you
How much setting details do you think is necessary, though? I tend to write with the more grandiose and important scenes, the visuals and fluff of the background that is needed, whereas if it's a basic setting like an office or a hall, do we really need to waste the reader's time to tell them what those places look like? I would imagine coming up with a basic setting, giving maybe one line or two (or even just a few words) should be enough to convey the image clearly in the reader's head. I can literally provide my own prose examples if you wish to delve into this topic, because it's something I subconsciously either already know when I'm writing or feel it is necessary. What do you think, though?
My prose is first person narration; alternates between a continuous present tense, but mainly written in past tense.
Example 1: Basic few words of a Basic setting
So, I went to the washroom and cleaned up, then I went back to the office to speak with the vice principal. I entered her office and she looked quite distraught at me, backing up a bit, still clearly shaken up from earlier.
Example 2: Specific details added AS the plot is moving.
We flew off into the night sky, the clear skies and moon accentuating the background. Stars rained down from the heavens as a guiding light on our merry way home. Getting her home would take a while, it seemed.
Example 3: Setting details stop to give visuals; ie, pause the plot (although I find in my prose of first person, it actually doesn't suffer from this issue, it seems to be more of 3rd person that struggles with pausing the plot to give setting description)
I arrived at a field of morning glory flowers, dusted of its color with white. As I landed, the dust settled away, revealing an array of blue flowers. The petals shot out everywhere upon me landing, swirling around me in unison.
-Skips a line or lines here-
“This field takes me back to the old garden my mother grew in the city… The flowers would bloom… with the coming of spring… Now, it lays barren of color, only showing itself if the cold snow is taken away.” I said.
Great video. Very helpful. Thank you.
Thanks so much!
Very helpful Alyssa! Thanks.
Glad it was helpful!
What I would like you to talk about making a character realistic by having a negative quirk/ character trait.
Do you have specific tips for memoirs? Thanks for sharing these!
Great video, though I wish there were specific solutions. For example, in the excerpt you said the party could have taken anywhere in the last few decades, so what kind of setting/location detail is needed exactly? And how often in a book? Thanks!
Excellent. I watched this when you first posted it and now that I'm querying, I watched again and I think I've covered it all. Thanks for the information, very helpful to me.
I hope things work out for you!
Great content! Just discovered your channel and really like what you are doing! Subscribed!
Me too. ♥️
Thanks so much! So glad you're enjoying.
Good stuff. Question: lots of YT advice says "only include what the reader needs to know!". Fine. But how do you decide what the reader needs to know? Can you do a video about this question? Thanks.
Very informative I really like your content 🙂
Glad you think so!
I'm reading one of my IG friend's novels now and he definitely could've benefitted from a few of these pointers. I'm on page 8 and there's the main POV guy, his neighbors, his cousin, his girl, his dad, his uncle, addresses, locations. I looked at the rest of the book and sighed.
Hi Alyssa M.
I am very thankful for your videos, I am struggling however with pacing my first chapter. I am wondering if my first page might be warping up the suspense to quickly. How should I pace suspense, the first chapter, and the calming of the first hook?
Regarding the introduction of too many characters in the first 10 pages, what are your thoughts on having a Dramatis Personae at the start of the book? I think it helps keep the characters and their relationships straight.
Perspective: I'm old, and miss things like Dramatis Personae pages and relevantly-NAMED chapters and a Table of Contents. I think both part of the story, and a setting/framework for the reader to get their head-space inside of. Not having them is a sign of the art's dumbing-down in both writing and reading. The novel I'm currently writing has both.
This was interesting
4:22 Excatly why I stop reading From Blood & Ash after two pages.
Same, I couldn't get through the second chapter. So much inner dialogue and it wasn't going any where. Plus the writing was not good.
This was such a valuable video, thank you! I've been really enjoying your lists. I don't know if you want it but some thematically relevant constructive criticism as a viewer: I find myself skipping the intro and looking ahead to where the list starts, so maybe consider getting to the list sooner? Or not! Maybe you like the intros so that's fine, just a thought. Anyway this video will definitely feed into my 3rd draft and redrafting the opening of my novel, thank you!
Thanks so much for the feedback and I'm so glad you're finding the tips helpful!
Vagueness is definitely a problem I found in my first ten pages. It ends up hoarding information instead of explaining the actual specifics of the character's lives.
It's a common issue! You want to balance providing enough details about the characters to help ground the reader while not getting bogged down in them and slowing the plot momentum.
I was surprised to find in the reader reviews of my novel Mr. Menace that a lot of readers were unclear about the time period. I figured that references to bread lines, speak easies, prohibition, Hoovervilles, and the lack of any digital technology would clue people in that it was the early 1930s, and none of my beta readers on the book's editors ever mentioned the issue. But a number of readers were guessing, and many were WAAAY off, so I wish I'd made it a tad more apparent from the beginning of the book...
Hi, I have a question about the introduction in my memoir. I believe I’ve done alright on time setting throughout my book. The only problem I have is maybe too much information in the intro. I put in things I’ve learned, how I’ve developed all after describing a TIA incident I had because of my poor stress management. Do you think I should take all of that out and push it to my wrap up chapter?
It is my goal to do a 30-day devotional book for men and to offer encouragement using biblical scriptures and helping Christians is my overall focus.
Hallelujah! Praise the Lord!
If pages 9 and 10 are less integrated to the first 8 pages than pages 11 and 12 are, can I leave out that short chapter just so the excerpt is more well rounded? (Note, I understand that I might consider moving or cutting those two pages but they go there chronologically and would be kept in a 25-page excerpt or the full novel). Will they find that sneaky after the fact? Thanks ;)
Whenever I read something that specifically mentions a product name (unless its something like "band-aid" or "zamboni") it always feels like a commercial or product placement so I try to avoid as much as possible.
Hello. I am writing my first two novels. I have two questions, on relative to the video and the other not so relative haha.
1. My character in my story was told to finish up her breakfast so she can hurry up to leave the house. I wanted to indicate that her eating breakfast is in the morning where the fist scene takes place. Is that good enough?
2. I have written two books last year and I have been editing away this year. Next year I plan to publish them both. I have asked people should I publish both at the same time because the first book immediately goes to the second and the first is more of a back story book. Is that okay you think or at least wait 3-6 months? Thanks
Fantastic, Alyssa! Actually I used this video to vet the first ten pages of my second novel. And, I found that everything was okay except that I was in habit of describing colours of everything in my novel, from chairs to the clothes. What would you advise me to takle this issue.
That's great to hear, I'm so glad these tips were useful and helped you edit your first 10 pages! I would say that if the colors are important to the story, help establish the mood, or help the reader picture the scene, keep them in. If it's just an "FYI" and it doesn't really matter if the chair is orange or grey, you can omit mention of color.
I would just like to say, I own the same exact blue and white pillow 😂
And here I am totally hung up on masquerade mask. I'll admit I'm not a native speaker but it's odd to me. It's on one hand to much, what other kind of mask you'd wear to a masquerade? An antique Aztec ceremonial mask? On the other hand it's not specific enough to give an aestheic the host might go for. A Venician masks or Domino masks will give totaly diffrent vibes than a spirit of Halloween witch mask. All of them could be worn to a party. But is it a upperclassmen event? Or a Fraternity Halloweenparty? Just clarifying that would give a sense of place and time.
I am having trouble with my introduction and trying to come up with a title for a short devotional type of books. I need some assistance please. I love all of your videos. Thanks.
Setting is a funny one. Many times details about setting are insignificant to the actual plot or story. Reader energy is spent on remembering the details of setting, but often for ZERO gain because the story could take place anywhere. Just plug in some fresh city details, and voilà, a new setting with the same story, unless it takes place in a space station on Jupiter's 3rd moon. Yes, I know there are many exceptions, but you get my point?
Ah, but that dreaded white room syndrome... it's so bad. If it means avoiding floating heads talking, some description is an absolute must. There's always the rule of "describe only the most interesting things about the room/scene/city". That way even an ordinary scene jumps out.
Hi Alyssa,
As always amazing videos. Very helpful.
Hey my friend, I just have one query please, I am writing my first book romance novel. But in first 10 pages, there are more than 5 characters. You see my two main protagonist have haunted pasts, and one of them loses family in car accident. So If I don’t introduce more characters( even some will be mentioned in beginning only as it affects my protagonist’s mental health) it won’t make sense for my story.
Should I still go ahead or must I think more deeply or plot a bit different? I also do not wish to bore my readers dragging story by 10 pages for the sake of not introducing more than 5 characters. I would really appreciate ideas or opinions. 🌺
Kind Regards,
Jasmine 🌷
Just wondering, do you have an opinion on how prologues are received by publishers/agents/etc? I've included one but basically just because I loved the one in Game of Thrones so much that I couldn't resist... it's something that has big lore and story implications but that you might not get until you've finished the novel, but it's primary purpose for me is to set the tone.
It's really story-dependent. Sometimes a prologue is exactly what your manuscript needs to set the stage for the narrative and tone (as you mention); other times the prologue may be distracting and disorienting. What I will say is prologues shouldn't be too long - fewer than 10 pages but preferably closer to 5. Your reader wants to get to the actual meat of the story, after all!
Wonderful advice! My first chapter ends at eight pages. Would you recommend that I write 2 more pages so that an agent doesn't have to proceed to chapter 2 in order to get to 10 pages?
Regarding vagueness in time and place, I'm OK on the place part, but I'm deliberately NOT pinning down the year, except that it is (obviously, from context) the near future. (It's a SF novel.) What are your thoughts on that?
I know I am late but I have a question : how do I write in the setting of the story without it feeling tacky ?
Also, I wish I had found this channel a few years before. Would have saved me a lot of writing mistakes :)
In this segment, 03:57: When you imply details should be relevant to the "story," do you mean the *main plot* exclusively? Or does this include character development as well?
I want to develop characters that interact with each other, but things done and said are important to them and not always necessarily involved with the main plot, it's just characters developing a relationship, or helping the reader to understand them a bit more-try to humanize them.
I see this advice in other videos, but they never specify what "the story" means in this context, whether or not only the main plot is considered "the story" or if character development is also part of that.
Stating the obvious: If it's in the story, it's part of it, technically.
I have a question, sorry I'm so late to the party! In terms of setting, and perhaps vagueness, what about fantasy and if you are in a first-person versus third, like if a character is trying to be cagey? I understand this is a super fine line, and you can't give the reader nothing, but in fantasy without a specific time period, or something similar, how might you address that issue?
I just want to know if whether its aggressive to introduce 5 characters in the first chapter ? well done Alyssa , great work.
I think it's alright. Just don't flood the reader with loads of backstory on each fucking character in that first chapter. Slowly reveal who the characters are as the story moves forward.
Relative to your 5th point: Time and Place: How should one prevent such a shortfall in Science Fiction or High Fantasy? Time could be any time. Place could be a planet twelve galaxies away. Eventually, setting and selling the local place--and perhaps its place relative to others--is important (insert map here), but dumping all that world building at once is verboten. And time? If the story is on earth in the far future, setting a date is a sure-fire fail (We are twenty-one years past 2001, but we do not have "HAL" level AI, and we are nowhere near mounting a manned mission to Jupiter). "Our" time is irrelevant to "Story" time. Spouting something like, "In the fifth year of the reign of Queen Aldaneiss we departed by horseback from..." does not clear up anything for the reader. Indeed, it only opens more questions (perhaps later useful) (and yes, that line, even incomplete, already tells much about this part of the world).
So... What advice have ye for this poor purveyor of words?
Not knowing where or when was actually what first made me like the books of Franz Kafka.
It took me 13 pages to explain the full setting and set the foundation of the story. Do I need to shorten it to the first 10 pages?
It starts at around 1min 35 seconds in - the preamble is way too long.
I always want books to start in the middle of the action. Not quite like a James Bond movie, but at least SOMETHING going on.
Alyssa, like many, I am enjoying your videos; I am halfway through my first draft; it's an action adventure with a female protagonist and a female villain. Is it okay do you think to still give my protagonist feminine characteristics? I only ask as you know the world is becoming homogenized regarding gender. Thanks, Sam
But I like to always describe what my characters are wearing. Not only in the opening pages but whenever they change attire. It paints a better mental picture along with the description of the surroundings.
Otherwise, what? Are we just meant to assume they’re naked or never change their clothes or something?
I don’t like the incompleteness of not describing exactly how a character looks or what they’re wearing.
Interesting approach! For me, it's about determining what your reader can fill in on their own and what is important for you to show them. If a writer described absolutely every detail within a scene, we'd be so overwhelmed with description that we wouldn't be able to focus on the plot or action of the scene.
If your novel is set in the 1900s is do you have to give a date, or is describing the scene of every day life that would take place in that time period be enoifh
Why is a novel always written in past tense when narrate? Can it be done in present tense? Like a movie, maybe?
This is a great question! Largely novels are written in past tense as it's just the most common way to; many readers expect it. Also, sometimes it's harder for a reader to get immersed in a present tense narrative, as they need to suspend their belief that "the action" is happening right as they read. Thanks for your question!
The Hunger Games, among quite a few others, was written entirely in present tense: "I do this, she says that. " Books like these are generally first- person, and usually young adult audience. Personally, I don't find that it's actually any more engaging. You get used to it either way - that's how books work.
When you say 10 pages, do you mean like word document letter size? or like actual book page size (5x8 etc..)
The typical format is a Word document, letter size, 12-point font, double spaced. But these tips are applicable to your first chapter as well!
@@AlyssaMatesic ok thank you so much!
What are your novel's first 10 pages like? Let me know!
I posted the first 10 of mine here, and I shamelessly submit them for your viewing (dis)pleasure. Lol. www.wattpad.com/story/250743869-flames-of-oblivion
Character overload XD
Heroine waking up, making breakfast and arguing with her husband while making breakfast... Weird in retrospect but no complaints so far.
It's difficult to know exactly what I think about my first ten pages. I wrote a prologue that fits nicely but getting help, feedback is 98% impossible. I cant afford Beta readers and pretty much everyone else either cant help, won't read because they're not readers, or promise to read the whole book in a week because "I devour books, I'll read it for you and give you feedback" and then weeks/ months later you find out they're full of shit and haven't read a page.
My opinion changes every time I read my opening few pages. Sometimes it's amazing and other times it's really Amateur.
You can try getting into an online writing circle or maybe make a social media strictly for your writing and see what people think.
Ouch. Yeah... it's hard sometimes. I know that from experience.
Can't hear
Shouldn't the writer show us she went to the ball for selfish reasons rather than tell us this? Maybe she is constantly looking at and talking about Tom rather than making polite conversation with the host and other guests.
Your video editing is really bad. Your videos are better than most in this genre. If you fix the atrocious editing you will jump in front of the crowd
Garbage! She first says too much detail and then goes on to highlight lack of setting. Silly woman.