Weird Old Computer Mice: Viagra, Bullets, & The 4th Dimension
Vložit
- čas přidán 19. 06. 2024
- Unboxing and testing more of these weird old mice with a Windows 98 PC! Checking out a Viagra NASCAR mouse, a dual-wheeled '4D' mouse, and a piece of ammunition that begs to be plugged in. All from the early 2000s and all kinds of silly Oddware.
● LGR links:
/ lazygamereviews
/ lazygamereviews
/ lazygamereviews
● Download an archive of the iWheelWorks software here:
archive.org/details/iWheelWorks
● All background music licensed from:
www.epidemicsound.com
00:00 Three Weird Old Mice Intro
00:39 Pfizer Viagra Mark Martin NASCAR Mouse
09:06 A4Tech Wireless 4D Mouse
19:41 BulletMouse Rifle Bullet Mouse
#LGR #Retro #computer - Věda a technologie
The Viagra mouse's ball being grossly over-lubed is hysterical. For a promotional product, they really went the extra mile.
At least the ball can slide in easily 😏
Also... those stiff competitions 2:19 🤣 Pure comedy gold
The puns and jokes there were nearly constant, much as expected.
There's no such thing as over-lubed.😂
@@locnar1 there actually is but that's outside the scope of a youtube comments section lmao
Those puns during the Viagra mouse bit were rock solid
They must've been hard to come up with, but he kept them going for a long time.
and they are even making innocent comments sound dirtier than he probably intended them. xD
gotta love the stiff competition line ;)
Honestly, coming up with so many puns was a stroke of genius.
And played it straight firmly, no faltering, no premature e...laughter, rock solid performance indeed!
the viagra car mouse was definitely facing some "stiff" competition in the car shaped mouse world
I was hoping I wasn't the only one that caught that, intentional or not.
Solid joke
"The scroll wheel is rather unsatisfying and rather small." I thought Clint was done with the Viagra puns by the time he got to the bullet mouse, but I was wrong.
Ironically, the Viagra mouse was really hard to use.
If it's still hard after 4 hours, seek medical attention.
That mouse is definitely going to be “hard” for more than four hours
heh. hard to use.
Yeah... Pfizer is evil
Some would even say it was a pain in the butt. 😂
To others, it's been a pleasure... 😜
I cannot believe the Viagra mouse stands up when the user touches it. The designers must have laughed during testing and decided it was a feature.
All bugs can be features.
Not unlike Viagra itself, coincidentally.
OMG I keep running into these hilarious unintended jokes on here 😂
"lubricated laughter" ahaha. I love it when creators add in extra fun for those of us that like subtitles
"Laughs in 4d" 😂
As a child I remember finding a Bulletmouse in my mom's bedside cabinet, really cool to see one in an LGR video!
Hahaha i see what you did there!
>:)
"The reason this sucks is because it's awful"
Fair.
Simple and to the point
No joking around, straight to the truth.
2:21 Clint just casually dropping puns, absolutely relentless
"Stiff competition.. Protective sheath..."
"Surely that's it. I mean the pun potential of--"
"That's an exceptionally lubed up ball.. Let's hope it doesn't last more than 4 hours."
"Oh god."
"not floppy at all"
Yeah the stiff competition got me lol
the car pulling a **wheelie** does not look familiar at all either.
It just keeps coming
It’s pretty common here in Europe too. Not as extensively and generally limited to pharmacies though: gifts are a way to convince them to suggest that specific company’s product instead of a competitor’s. Not really a healthy practice, but it’s thankfully heavily mitigated by a legal obligation to inform clients about equivalent drugs by lesser known brands, which are chemically identical but cheaper.
Clint going full Carolina at the end was definitely something
"Viagra made a car-shaped mouse" is not a sentence I thought would ever exist.
Neither is “Theres a Viagra logo on a race car”
@@LOVE-iv2pw Some merch and games changed it to just the Pfizer logo.
I'm just glad it wasn't shaped like, something else... I dread to Google, but I bet novelty mice exist with a rather, phallic design...
It's probably a car because that was a pre-existing mold from other car mice.
@@Kumimono I’ll be honest, a mouse with a more phallic design would NOT surprise me knowing some people…
This is a level of subtle pun overload I've rarely experienced.
I was hoping for a bunch of puns as soon as I saw the word "Viagra". I was satisfied with my experience.
@@robotortoise It really seemed _hard_ for him to resist.
Same
That’s what she said.
There’s plenty of ‘stiff competition’
Three Weird Computer Mice is my new favorite show! I can't wait to see what the next three mice are!
Considering he was ripped into his 50's, Viagra was the PERFECT sponsor for Mark.
Stiff floppy, short chord, lubed ball - that Viagra mouse is the gift that keeps on giving
don't forget the stiff competition, and "just click on the tip... err... hood of the car"
@@louistournas120 You mean who did a song with Eminem? 😂
@@FlyboyHelosim I was going to write dildo.
Is there a dido mouse?
The L is missing from that word?
Is CZcams a robot that deletes comments?
@@louistournas120 1. probably
2. yes there are
The Viagra mouse is genius design, it literally makes it hard for you.
"3 and a half inch floppy." Good thing there's Viagra for the floppy. Not sure how much it helps that length part. Not that size matters, tho.
When Clint was mentioning the Viagra mouse short chord I truly expected him to say "I hear they have a pill for that"
On a totally unrelated note: "Viagra, Bullets and the 4th Dimension" is a great movie titel…
Maybe itll be better than morbius
Or tagline!
@@tylern6420 It's scrollin time
Honestly, I'm making a film for a College project, and thats an apt title. Lol
@@kiddhkane scrolling HARD at the speed of sound
Holy crap I had that Viagra mouse when I was in high school.
It's just as LGR says. People representing the brand come into doctors offices all the time pushing their product and give out dumb little gifts. My mom would bring home weird plushies, mice, flash drives all with a product name on it and this was one of them.
Same here, my dad was a doctor and we'd get all kinds of stuff (mostly pens). I still have a 3M branded Kingston flashdrive to this day lol
Did anyone else ever get that Prevacid plush stomach toy? I distinctly remember this toy when I was a kid visiting my grandfather, who was a doctor, at his office. He would get tons of brand toys and accessories from medical companies. This stomach plush just sticks out to me with how absurd the idea was. Great advertising though if I remembered it for this long haha
@@TheEarthbounder yes!!! Still have it, actually. We gave it to my rabbit and he adored it. He used to cuddle up and sleep on it. Now it sits on a shelf with his urn.
I honestly never knew that. My sister works with them, I never caught whim of any such things.
Kinda glad Viagra went with a mouse and not a plushie...
I can't wait for more adventures from the Box of Stupid Mice. Those puns gave me a long hard smile.
Damn the puns, and triple-entendres. Curiously though, I'd have thought the Viagra hardware would have gotten rid of any software. Also, Hard Drivin' for the DOS might have a been a game to try. Though, even that had worked, I'd wager the steering would have been stiff.
4D mouse would actually be useful for scrolling through PDF files. I often read service manual, which have minute text and pictures on them, so a +100% zoom is constant, as is scrolling in the, 4th dimension, which we all know, is horizontal. Would the programmable button have been useful for rudimental macro key inputs? Or could the extra scroll wheel be used for, say, gear shift in racing games?
If you don't already know, you can scroll while holding shift to scroll horizontally; not to mention lots of mice these days actually have 4d scrolling by rocking the wheel left and right.
The 4D mouse was the mouse of choice at the cyber cafe I went when I was a kid. We used to throw of the aim of some other kids that were playing Counter-Strike with a spare mouse from behind their chairs since it can pickup the infrared from afar
And people say modern gaming mice have weird designs and features.
How did you do that?
I got an aopen mouse with the dual scroll wheels, from an actual 2005 internet cafe that was used to play counter strike for at least half a decade. It's the wired USB version with the back and forward buttons that kind of looks like an intellimouse, and is actually optical as shown on the back of the box in this video. The tracking of fast movements on it was still not very good.
@@stephenfiler3204 just have another infrared mouse, point it at their receiver, and screw around. Either it recognizes both signals and you fight for control, or it doesn't and you just jam the receiver.
the 4d mouse seems like it really would've appealed to spreadsheet workers
Side scroll isn't fast enough though really. Not sure if that was configurable.
@@arnox4554 Usually was in the mouse settings. I think as far back as Win98SE (but I could be wrong, definitely in XP). The software for it didn't seem bad at all either so maybe that also had options in it.
I've got a couple of spreadsheets where that mouse would be really handy.
@@JeffDeWitt Actually, many mice do have this feature already now. For example, my cheap Logitech M510 has a mouse wheel that also allows you to side-scroll by pressing left or right against the wheel.
@@arnox4554 Good point, now that I think about it I think my mouse does too, the crazy thing has a bunch of features I don't often use "Logitech MX Master 3". I'm going to have to check to see if my mouse at work will do that.
A4 tech 4D mices came in multiple flavours, and they all were awesome. I had one of these, but with USB cable (not wireless). And it was awesome. And the middle button menu was the best thing for a programmer. As well as the vertical scrolling :)
I used one until a few years ago
They were quite nice, indeed.
I used them for years. Mine had PS/2 connectors and were optical.
I should still have them. Not sure why I replaced them back in the days.
Did you had the cordless and battery-less, that used induction power back in early 2000's? Freaky awesome, specially for tight desks (small mouse pad).
@@TheFifthHorseman_ they were quite indestructible, right?
@@RoboticParanoia very much so
A4Tech always had some strange budget features. I remember my "wireless, batteryless" mouse. It arrived with a mousepad connected to USB transferring power wirelessly to the mouse and recieving its input. That means it did not work away from the surface of the pad provided by them, but who cared, it did not need batteries! And was wireless! :) Nice piece for its time, hope You get hands on one day. I gave mine away sadly.
As always- great video. Thank You.
I can't stop giggling at the "no gun required" thing on the package for the bullet mouse.
Ah yes, the Ford Taurus Viagra mouse. Just what everyone wants!
fuck yeah, Mark Martin is the best
They thought we wouldn't notice the 69 on the mouse, but we did.
Is it comic irony to advertise a remedy for something that doesnt on a Taurus?
Can you use it for IRacing?
@@BigEOT3 Worth a shot.
As a Brit I sometimes watch live American telly so I can watch nascar, and me and my mrs are completely flabbergast to how strongly you guys get advertised prescription drugs. Over here people are generally unaware about any kind of medication aside from what’s prescribed by the GP.
Generally though unless you’re exempt any prescription is £7 regardless of what it is whereas you guys get totally shafted. We’re expecting our first baby and we won’t pay a penny at point of service to have it at the hospital whereas you guys expect to pay like 50k!
We also have advertisements for lawyers, which is equally if not more insane. Do you have lawyer ads in the UK? I've been a couple times and never thought to ask.
@@jonathansims5924 yeah but like no win no fee, fell over and it’s the councils fault, injuries at work, basically all the “if there’s blame there’s claim” stuff
Edit: basically if it makes a lot of money and it’s a bit shady, anything you guys start doing give it 5 years or so and we jump on the bandwagon. Except the people doing it have a tested method so it’s streamlined for us
i dont know if they still play them now, but those prescription pill ads would even play during cartoons ad blocks in the 2000's. It was fairly often too
I remember we also had that kind of strange/funny/sometimes stupid little gifts when I was in the French Navy. I often came back home with some watches, plushies, pens and USB drives with something related to the French Navy printed on them. I even had a USB key where the casing was made from the alloys used for the engines of the Rafale. Inside I had some videos of the presentation of the Rafale by Dassault in the old days and a desktop them with all the noises and cursors related to the Rafale Marine. Lol I really liked this one, tbh.
What I love best is when you find absolutely ridiculous looking mice that you conclude are actually not bad at all.
I hooked up an off-white PS2 ball mouse and a clicky chunky keyboard to one of my PCs recently just to be a dork and I was shocked by how good they both felt. The tactile clack of the keys on the keyboard and the weight of the classic ball mouse are both fantastic, I don't understand why hardware sometimes gets worse when people think it's better. Genuinely my only complaint is that the looseness of the ball makes lifting the mouse to reposition it without moving the cursor can cause the cursor to move when you don't want it to, but otherwise, it's sick. I gotta find a CRT monitor now.
Imagine you go to the doctor's getting told your terminal while he is drifting a NASCAR around on his desk
The drifting on the "4D mouse" is probably due to the roller only being on one side, and when the mouse is moved too fast the mouse ball is bumped against the opposite side of the cradle and not making contact with the roller anymore. I assume the mouse would behave the same with fast up and down motion as well.
I could see two scroll wheels being really helpful for graphic design. I'm often holding the key command to scroll horizontally when using Illustrator, PhotoShop and InDesign, so it would be handy to just be able to do that with my mouse
"This floppy is quite stiff" - LGR
Was disappointing that the viagra mouse wasn’t shaped like the pill
There is another shape
Seeing that storage I feel like someone's going to do a tour of LGR's collection in 30 or 40 years.
Lol I had the same thought
It'll be the 2070s version of Computer Reset.
I had a double wheeled mouse, much like that 4D one. This would have been around 2004-ish(?) It was optical, and the double offset wheels, made scrolling really fast. I loved that mouse.
It got run over all of things! It fell out of my bag when packing up at a LAN party and I failed to notice. I started backing out, heard a crunch, got out and saw my beloved pointer flattened in the driveway.
so what you're saying is, the Viagra mouse was a bit "dysfunctional"
I love how the 4d mouse box says their product is 30% faster than 400 DPI with no context at all
_4D mouse enters_
"30% faster"
_Refuses to explain further_
_Exits_
It says 520 DPI. 400 × 1.3 = 520
@@TheGreatAtario yeah i can read but that's totally random hahahaha
@@matteobarsanti8139 Heh, well, you know. Bigger number = better
my new favorite channel, LazyMouseReviews. I love it.
Really loving this weird mice series ngl!
I had one of these great 4D Mice that had a ball instead of the Mousewheel. The idea was not bad but it also meant that you could never really scroll either straight up/down or straight sideways. I still ended up using it for quite some time.
I've always thought that would be excellent if you could somehow add a small amount of resistance or deadzone so that you can more easily scroll on only one axis.
"I can't wait to plug this in!" Oh god. That is not what I needed to go with my morning coffee.
The remark about unobservable spacetime earned my like and then some.
Thanks for all of the high-quality, free video content over the years, LGR.
love seeing all dose old pc´s in the background makes me happy
Every line of dialogue during the Viagra segment is everything I could have ever opened for
What else do you open for? (asking for a friend)
@@alexjones2677 Depends on the Viagra 🤣🤣
Fun fact about that NASCAR car you were talking about: in 2002 it came 2nd in the championship with Mark Martin, after a five-way battle for the championship went straight into the dumpster in the final stretch of races. It was Mark's 4th runner-up championship finish in his 15th try. Tony Stewart would eventually win the championship in 2002.
Also, some regarded it should have been Sterling Marlin's year. (He recovered from an illegal repair job attempt during a red flag at Daytona 500 (OH HE CAN'T DO THAT!) to being a title favorite until he got injured at the fall Kansas race.)
I don't think I've ever heard this much mouse innuendo in one place on the internet. And I'm convinced like half of it was unintentional.
The damn puns with the Viagra mouse haha, Great video as always!
Overlubed ball and a stiff disk. Yep, it's an LGR video alright
That bullet mouse, even today, would fit in perfectly on the hardgoods shelves of a Duluth Trading Co store
Or at a Cabela's.
And yah, I can imagine it would be surprisingly ergonomic. Probably a bit like the large Kensington mouse I use with my own PC -- though I think I'd prefer _my_ mouse's scroll wheel.
You just couldn't resist making a "stiff competition" joke about the Viagra mouse, could you?
It's okay, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself, either.
Is that the only one you caught?
Your laugh is so contagious…good stuff lgr
These vids are great for if I'm ever sent back in time to the late 90s, I'll know exactly what cool tech to buy
No no no, the actual mouse is 4 dimensional, you're only interacting with the 4D object's 3D shadow
Joke or not, this made my head hurt.
I love the emphasis on all the things that could be a joke about Viagra. XD
So, let me get this Viagra mouse thing straight:
• The part that was supposed to be long was short.
• The front end goes up when you use it.
• Using it is really *hard.*
• As in, you had almost no control over it.
• It had way too much lube applied.
• It's black and larger than your average mouse.
• If you're not careful, it could cause pain.
• LGR was done after using it for only a few minutes.
• After LGR used it, the ball was dry.
Man, the Viagra mouse segment had the puns I expected, but the history of the drug as well as the critique of the American healthcare system was cool 👍
the short cable from the Taurus makes kinda sense when you remember that back then many practiioners had those small computercases which sat under the monitor on the desk. Not that it makes that thing any better...
Moment i saw the title I knew exactly what you had on your hands, I had the Mark Martin Viagra mouse as a kid, one of the few pieces of merch i got during his time flying the Viagra flag!
You mean ... " I knew exactly what you had in your hands..." right?
Slapshoes fans, I summon you!
I loved my A4Tech mouse back in the day. It was the best optical mouse I was able to find at the time, and it was only $15-$20 at a computer fair.
Clint, you are such a goof! Luv your vids man!
Around 1998-2000, I thought that soon all mice will have two scroll wheels. It was just SO useful when making stuff in CorelDRAW! The wheel was saving a lot of time when creating details in images, especially when drawing precise Bezier curves - you could draw at high amplification, and easily scroll the screen for the next part of the curve.
I had several 2-scroll A4Tech mouses over the years; only moved on after I stopped creating graphics.
Innuendo was approaching "Mark Fixes Stuff" levels with the Viagra mouse.
I'm glad to find another fan :D they need to collab and do a pun off
i mean, innuedo off of course...puns are very different, I did just awake tho!
@LGR
Clint, this was definitely an oddware episode. Funny as all heck too!
It makes sense that the Viagra mouse would have been PS/2 in the early 2000s, since hospital computer equipment is about 10-15 years behind normal consumer electronics.
I think maybe Viagra should have teamed up with the "bullet mouse" instead of nascar. The levels of irony would not be lost on today market.
27:00 WTF - Redneck Hunting has PiP scopes? That's actually impressive! Most AAA games today still don't have that.
Tbf as cool as it is, I kind of prefer full screen scopes, lol.
I am happy to see that this video came in under 4 hours of length, seems like that Viagra car mouse certainly did it's job.
Solid job on that one.
Always nice to get a new LGR vid, as per. That said, I'd really like to see some more thrifts, Clint: I'm binging on the old ones now, and they're still awesome (maybe even more so than the first watches, as my brain had already been 'thriftified' by the very ones I'm watching now), but I would dearly love to see you fondling rocks again in the hope of unearthing some pc-marvels! Hope the settling into the new house goes great too. Greetings from Belgium!
I used to have a 4D mouse. Probably one of the best mice I have ever owned.
I still have one of A4's mice, though mine has another button on each side, for a total of four buttons and two scroll wheels (twice as efficient as a normal mouse!). It's stored in a box along with most of my other mice, as I prefer to use a trackball (Kensington Expert Mouse), but I have it.
@@maighstir3003 mine had two thumb buttons
Am surprised at how well the infrared on the 4D mouse worked.
Never thought I would ever be watching a video about a mouse for a computer from viagra and the irony that it's so lubed on the mouse ball.
I've got that same 4D mouse too! I was helping a guy clear out his storage and that came out of somewhere. Never bothered to try it out tho, so thanks for the overview! XD
The A4Tech software looks identical to the stuff AOpen used to bundle with their mice.
Kudos on all the puns btw 😂
I absolutely Loved your Double Innuendos with the Viagra Mouse! 🤣
The bit about an optical mouse in the 4D mouse was under a section advertising other mouses in their lineup.
The a4tech R4 mouse that I have been using for the past couple of years now, really seems to be indestructible. Also, even though it looks as if it was made for lefties, I think it is one of the most comfortable mice that I have ever used. A4tech really doesn't seem to be such a bad manufacturer of mice 🤓👍🏻
"This is awesome"
That's what I said when I got my first USB optical mouse. Compared to what I was dealing with, everything before was garbage.
The car mouse seems to firmly stand far and above the rest of the competition
“Stiff competition” 😂
You crack me up little buddy!
Never thought I’d hear my hometown of IGH mentioned on LGR, another fun trip through Crazy Mouse Land.
A race car? Viagara should have used the Logitech Cyberman instead. Now that thing was stiff.
I showed the Viagra Car Mouse to my aunt when she picked me up today, and she said "well I don't see why anybody would need that unless their an old man." That was the hardest laugh I've had in ages
Woah that's all yours I always thought your collection was pretty impressive but damn man
I really enjoyed a mouse I had in 2000..something, that had a scroll in the thumb for horizontal scrolling, I miss it for editing audio .
Nice video man, pretty nostalgic, thank you.
I'd say the 'lube' in the Viagra mouse would be leaky capacitor juice.
That would explain why it's spazzing out.
It's a lemon. Can't even squeeze it.
4:55 the car is trying to get upright... It's not a design flaw, it's a feature, considering the manufacturer 😉
Every 10 seconds you can find a pun haha, awesome video
The absolute number of puns and innuendo kept me laughing enjoying the video. Thanks!
The 4D mouse is pretty neat. I’d move the receiver back a bit cause that light would drive me nuts. The packaging could use some corrections 🤔 but other than that, super cool!
I'd probably end up covering the LED with electrical tape.
The saddest thing about this video is that the mouse software seems simpler and more intuitive than Logitech's GHub. I hate GHub so much.
"Stiff competition" I see what you did there, Clinto
Dude, those shelves are awesome! I just lined all the walls upstairs at my place with those earlier this year to sort all the random junk I've got up there.
Hi Clint! I've had this A4Tech 4D mouse (wired version) back then and it was really usefull. I can't remember how I did it exactly, but the secund scroll was mapped as "double speed scroll" and the early internet browsing has become a pleasure! ;)
Oh, and BTW - it really is a "optical" mouse as it used a optical sensor to detect the movement of rolls. AFAIR, back then, a mouse with a "red light" was called a "laser mouse".
The irony that the Viagra mouse stands up uncomfortably during use...
You show this stuff off so good, that's why you have it.
Great work