@@supergohansonic My friend tried starting a conversation about how our English teacher was a smoking hot mama. I wasn't buying it (for the most part).
I come here once a year on the 24th of August to relive this rite of passage and discover new tales of adolescence in the comments. This should be our yearly pilgrimage.
One time my dad walked in realized what I was doing and said “come on we got to go to grandmas in like 20 minutes, so finish up” I couldn’t finish and couldn’t look at him for the rest of that day
First time I whacked it, I was using my mom's laptop. Middle of the video, a scheduled window's update started with no warning, and because that laptop was a piece of shit the porn was still playing and you could hear the audio while the screen went completely black. I tried closing the laptop, but it wouldn't stop shouting my shame to the heavens. In a blind panic, I assumed that I broke the computer with porn, and that it would literally never stop moaning. I threw it under my pillow and layed down on it for another 15 minutes of sheer horrified anxiety, trying to at least muffle it. It finally, mercifully restarted, I snuck the laptop back into her bag, and didn't even make another attempt at jacking it for 3 months due to fear of divine retribution
Charlie involving his parents is one of the most uncomfortable things I think I've ever heard. it physically makes me retract into myself in an attempt to create a black hole out of my body.
Yea dude, this is literally one of the fucking funniest videos I've seen, and on the list of funniest youtube vids I've seen ahlf of them are cr1t1cal vids, they are just so fucking amazing
HybridTheGamer bro when i was 11-12 i wouldnt close my door to my room ever so every night i would squeeze one out with the thought that anyone could come in and catch me, it was exhilarating
I FUCKIN WIMMYD THE WAZZLE WITH THE DOOR OPEN MOM AND DAD HOME AND AWAKE LITTLE BROTHER PLAYING GAMES WITH HIS FRIEND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT I AM GOD MR HYBRID THE GAMER WITH HIS PYRO PFP SUCK IT M8.
FREEWILLEMON High Falutin same here. I share a room with my sister, and my family had no form of privacy. So we always had the bedroom door open. So I had to perfect my hearing to make sure I’m not caught. It’s gotten to the point where I can recognize the person coming in by the jingle of their keys that are in their pockets. Or by how exactly they walk
I have a folder somewhere on my computer that I called "Offline nostalgia". Every time I can't sleep and I my internet connection is gone, I watch some of the videos in the folder. This is one of them.
I'm so glad that when my mom walked in on me mid session, the next day my dad after he got word of what happened, he gave me access to his old porn VHS collection he kept hidden from my mom.
I can't remember my first time choking the chicken, but I do remember when I was young my stepbrother gave me "the talk" then proceeded to accidentally light his pants on fire with a lighter.
Don't jerk it for a couple of weeks. The best orgasm I ever had was on a new year's eve after I didn't masturbate for around 3 weeks. I was watching porn but I kept tabbing out because someone messaged me on facebook so for whatever reason I decided to chat with them. So I kept edging and then stopping to write a message for like an hour or more. Then when I finally decided to cum it was fucking wild. I felt it in my whole body and it lasted for so long. No orgasm before or after that even came close. So 3 things to keep in mind, take a break from jerking it for a while, edge yourself until you are just about to cum and stop for a bit (repeat this a couple of times) and lastly, take your time. Those are secrets to wild orgasm.
im actually kinda pissed at how much i laughed at this because, like an idiot, i watched this in the middle of the night and cant laugh as loud as i want, im just wheezing like a cartoon dog, gonna burst a blood vessel
one time I tried that hot shower fapper doo, except while vaping. I just had my vape in the one spot in the shower the water doesnt spray at and hotboxed the shit out of the place. once I realized there must have been less oxygen in there than a fish you bought and forget to let out of the bag for a few hours it was already too late, I had a multidimentional metaphysical nut and had to slink out onto the bath rug just about unconscious, wet wrinkly and seemingly dying but also in this ascended plane of nirvana before opening the door and experiencing oxygen for the first time in the last half hour or more and having your animals rush to you like you just crawled out of a steaming lobster pot and they think your dead.
@@user-pn2so7dh8p nicotine which can Increase blood pressure and heart rate, Narrow arteries, Lead to heart attack by contributing to the constricting of the arterial wall. You're also inhaling things into your lungs. It also causes popcorn lung. I mean if you're an adult you can do whatever you want. But you should know the risk you're getting in to.
A dude in my social studies got caught shining the dolphin because the girl beside him was wondering what it looked like. Teacher called him out. We were 15.
I was once rubbing myself on the back bench next to the Back door of the class while teacher was in the class. My English teacher passed by the classroom and saw me doing something below the desk. She came inside the class and stood me up. I was embarrassed but then teacher asked me who i was texting below the desk. Lmao she thought i was texting. And since I had Zero shame in me, I went straight back to rubbing myself.
Holy shit I've done the hot shower thing before. Nobody was home but I had to lay on the bathroom floor for 20 minutes and I was on the verge of passing out the whole time
Fuck man I couldn't even get a full on after fifteen minutes I even pulled up porn on the counter but nope, then I started beating the fuck out of my dick like it was the wife of a football star and I came after ten minutes, neck minute I'm about to go to sleep and my dick has fucking swelled up because I went so hard I thought my dick was fucked up and I couldn't sleep. Never fapping in a hot shower ever again
I guess my first experience was at 8 years old when i searched up "naked wamen" on my mom's computer and i just saw these super hot models completely naked I kept looking at it for a good hour without doing nothing just trying ti figure what all of that was (no one was home except my sleeping grandfather) and then all of a sudden i just hear the garage door opening so i closed it and went to play my ps2 A couple minutes later my mom got to her computer to do something and noticed something weird on her browse history, she called me (by my full name)... man i knew she knew it. i decided to just tell her. that was a really scary experience i thought i was doing something illegal and the police would show up, i went to sleep that night feeling super guilty.
First time for me was when my best friend and I searched up "naked boobs" I didn't get it in front of him but I thought about it later eating breakfast and then got a boner.
When he was around 14, one of my best friends was getting it done in his bedroom and then his brother walked in. Instead of being emberassed, he stared straight in his eyes and just kept on going.
the one thing good about western countries is how open everyone is about sex. Here in India, I always have to run a billion calculations in my head to see if it is safe to make a sex joke
yoooo duuude we cant even have girls as casual friends in India and in most countries you can just go up to a girl and talk to her when i tried to ask a girl for some notes (girls were smarter at studying) the girl just started backing off and not even looking at me
Okay, I have rarely told this story but when I was like 8 or something our school made us get changed into sports gear all in one classroom. I, in my infinite wisdom, decided instead to take all my clothes off and wrap myself in the shirt I was wearing (like a makeshift toga). I then realised that I forgot my sports clothes in my bag so I had to go out into the corridor (which was thankfully empty) to get them. A teacher got suspicious that I was leaving and followed me out, she asked me what I was doing and looked me dead in the eye... my shirt that was wrapped around me slipped and I stood butt ass naked in front of my teacher in a school hallway... she was horrified but said nothing and walked back inside. I think about that a lot.
Damn, now I feel Im obligated to thank my long lost childhood pal. He was always joking about bustin a nut, about sex and stuff and after reading all the comments and listening to the video I realise now he was like my guardian angel, except he was only protecting my dignity. Alex, if you're reading this, thank you D:
A little late, but since we're sharing super personal stories...a few minutes ago I blew a load that had the force of a canon. Unfortunately my ENTIRE LOAD landed on my laptop keyboard. I didn't expect it to shoot into the air and be a 2ft projectile but it happens. Luckily I was able to clean it up because it was really thick. That's it.
Clitikal I had a wierd ass dream that you were my sisters boyfriend and you would play the ukulele all the time and I found out you were the real clitikal and then you tried to kill me
Everybody talks about how their first salmon slapping session was amazing, mine was just sheer bewilderment and fear. When I first started watching porn, I didn’t do nothing, I just kinda stared until I got bored. Then one faithful day I was watching Bella Bellz and the guy was finishing on her. So I put two and two together and tried it out. The explosion got on my jeans, and I had no idea what to do. Then my grandma and Grampa got into our house, so here I was panicking in the bathroom trying to cover up the scene.
Everyone has good story’s about their early boner days, and I’m just sitting here having no idea what my experience is because I forgot pretty much everything
Critical often joins his friend in streams and they have conversations like this, Critical himself doesn't stream. But his friend's twitch is www.twitch.tv/huggbeestln
An interesting topic to say the least.. Did make me laugh but I was super creeped out when you told your parents they had to wait until after you finished to go to the movies xD
That weird boxer technique your friend talked about was similar to how I first started. Except instead of knuckles I just used my whole hand. It wasn't until I came to the conclusion that stroking it out was less messy than that.
And just to be weirder the first time I did it, was the result of me trying to push it back in because I thought it was gonna get so big it would fall off. I was a dumb ass kid.
This is the most perfect “Boys Lunch table conversation” picture ever
8th grade was a wonderful time
@@bl3florv0rk-61 Lol, I still have these conversations now.
@@supergohansonic My friend tried starting a conversation about how our English teacher was a smoking hot mama. I wasn't buying it (for the most part).
As a high schooler, I can confirm this is true
You know it's possible to fuck your own ass. It's called solo-fuck.
the horrible realization when i saw my headphones were not plugged in...
loading Name Shit......
oohhh noooo, im so fucking sorry lmao
The awesome realization that I'm the only person in the house who understands English anyway. B)
Lmao I am not using headphones I could care less 😂
Well your f**ked xD
I come here once a year on the 24th of August to relive this rite of passage and discover new tales of adolescence in the comments.
This should be our yearly pilgrimage.
Indeed.
Yes my son
I will see you on the 24th my friend......na il probs forget it.
Thats pretty wholesome
See you next year
One time my dad walked in realized what I was doing and said “come on we got to go to grandmas in like 20 minutes, so finish up” I couldn’t finish and couldn’t look at him for the rest of that day
Red Horizon
It’s a win win
Lol! Dads eh ? Always around when you don't need them
That's traumatizing
Still, gotta have respect for him
chill dad
"There is a thin line between respect and fear, and I dance on it"
Å
I looked at the comments right after he said that😂😂😂
PandaMonium2412 I saw this AS the guy said it. Like it couldn’t be more perfect
😂
I started too young to remember my first time :(
This comment section is legendary
It truly is
K9uKNIT very much so
This is the greatest comment section of All Time
K9uKNIT ohhh yeeaaa
Yup.
normal people:
**listen to music while doing homework**
me:
**listens to this while doing homework**
older than 13* listens to this because unemployed ;/
WTFI was doing homework
OMG WTF SAME
I am literally doing math homework rn
@@xzimo9081 3÷8282919191119191911919192863636373939318266227898642562829292928373646383919192982374746379291292973646473929101917363636364738292991929277337646747484848484848843848383838838364639101019127749202923669101
First time I whacked it, I was using my mom's laptop. Middle of the video, a scheduled window's update started with no warning, and because that laptop was a piece of shit the porn was still playing and you could hear the audio while the screen went completely black. I tried closing the laptop, but it wouldn't stop shouting my shame to the heavens. In a blind panic, I assumed that I broke the computer with porn, and that it would literally never stop moaning. I threw it under my pillow and layed down on it for another 15 minutes of sheer horrified anxiety, trying to at least muffle it. It finally, mercifully restarted, I snuck the laptop back into her bag, and didn't even make another attempt at jacking it for 3 months due to fear of divine retribution
xDDD
Oh shit, ive had similar stuff happen to me lmao
diefordmustangs3 lmfaoooo
would make a nice horror franchise.
That''s actually pretty funny, holy shit.
I almost had a heart attack because I couldn't find this video and I thought it was taken down.
heyyy, didn't know you were also a fan of cr1tikal
Holy shit this comment was on Reddit a few days ago
Idk who you are but like all the people under this section of the comments are excited so I guess I’ll subscribe to you then
OMG SAME
6 years later, it’s still here
I can only imagine the NSA hacking into Critikal's webcam while he is doing the scissor maneuver
Just the name scissor maneuver
They would either never do it again or keep watching
The old rusty snowman
Sound fackin torturous
@@UraniumEater59 you're not wrong.
Charlie involving his parents is one of the most uncomfortable things I think I've ever heard. it physically makes me retract into myself in an attempt to create a black hole out of my body.
@@siddhanthravichandran3245 It's cause you're Indian, parents in India will beat the shit out of their kids for something like that
@@IronPal I'm not indian but I'm the same way
@@siddhanthravichandran3245 its pretty normal
I never wanted to admit or even think it was normal to talk to them about what I do with my dick.
Mom and dad, just so you know, I’ll be upstairs choking the ol’ chicken it you need me. Wish me luck and I’ll see you in 5-20 minutes.
this is the greatest comment section I've ever seen. Anywhere.
Paired with one of the best videos I've ever listened to.
h
This gets a sub
Yea dude, this is literally one of the fucking funniest videos I've seen, and on the list of funniest youtube vids I've seen ahlf of them are cr1t1cal vids, they are just so fucking amazing
You don't know true fear unless you didn't close the door fully
HybridTheGamer bro when i was 11-12 i wouldnt close my door to my room ever so every night i would squeeze one out with the thought that anyone could come in and catch me, it was exhilarating
@@FREEWILLEMON reallly i thought i was the only one with parents bursting a closed door anytime
I FUCKIN WIMMYD THE WAZZLE WITH THE DOOR OPEN MOM AND DAD HOME AND AWAKE LITTLE BROTHER PLAYING GAMES WITH HIS FRIEND IN BROAD DAYLIGHT I AM GOD MR HYBRID THE GAMER WITH HIS PYRO PFP SUCK IT M8.
FREEWILLEMON High Falutin same here. I share a room with my sister, and my family had no form of privacy. So we always had the bedroom door open. So I had to perfect my hearing to make sure I’m not caught. It’s gotten to the point where I can recognize the person coming in by the jingle of their keys that are in their pockets. Or by how exactly they walk
HybridTheGamer i have it wide open to assert dominance
"Well that's a weird way of putting it" Says the man who flat out told his parents he couldn't go to the movies without rubbing one out.
it was actually a weird way of putting it
I have a folder somewhere on my computer that I called "Offline nostalgia". Every time I can't sleep and I my internet connection is gone, I watch some of the videos in the folder. This is one of them.
same but its a playlist on my channel called the most legendary
I come back to this video every once in a while, and I still laugh every time
that's...oddly wholesome.
May we get a link?
What
Critikal giggling like a little girl is extremely unnerving.
Wym it's adorable lol
why
it’s kinda cute tho 😳
decaffeinated african
*hmm* don’t like that name
7:46
listening to this is like having friends, it warms my heart
Damn
so true
Define "friends"
You're a lonely person indeed
@@snatch051 you are arrogant indeed.
"its probably normal just to slap it around"
But for how long ?
Tudor Miller forever
Hah my wife 😊
slumbps
*wait a minute*
Honestly turns me on the fastest if a girl slaps it rather than jerkin it
This comment section makes me feel accepted
Elitedevil shut up
Woah dude the senate just told you to shut up see you in jail
same
Your very enlightened wojak really expresses how youve become a pure man dude. Good job bro!!!!
Whiterun Guard I was thinking more of a reddit user.
I'm so glad that when my mom walked in on me mid session, the next day my dad after he got word of what happened, he gave me access to his old porn VHS collection he kept hidden from my mom.
Your dad is a fucking Hero
M A S S I V E L E G E N D
WHAT A GUY
Lol
Got to pass on the wisdom
I've never seen cr1tikal show this much emotion
+Hostile Hero Nice
+Hostile Hero I LOVD YOUR PROFILE PICTURE
this sounds like one of those really late and weird night talks with ur buddy and the next day it's really fucking awkward
Actually relatable.
I do this with by best friend but shes a chick so its even more awkward
@@liamriddell1245 you do it with your best friend 😳
Sounds like a discord voice chat at 3am.
@@squeeeebii-kb9xm can confirm
I can't remember my first time choking the chicken, but I do remember when I was young my stepbrother gave me "the talk" then proceeded to accidentally light his pants on fire with a lighter.
What the fuck kind of "birds and bees" talk requires pyrotechnics
Why Would The King Choke His Servants??!!
LMAO
holy shit that escalated quickly
This gives a whole new meaning to your username
Is this an audio book for the Bible?
yes
i would 100% send this to someone and tell them that's what it was.
No it's the Bibble
The Bubble
Yes
This has been the CZcams video that I feel most comfortable watching
*Guess you can't handle the nutron style*
*Cumfortable
shut the fuck up you goddamn impostor
yes but there is a lot of creeps
@@zo615 ehhh wgaf
oh my god the stories in the comments are even better
The only comment section on CZcams that isn’t toxic and cancerous.
Perhaps you're forgetting Ocean Man
First time I came I almost had a heart attack and literally collapsed from the sensation still wishing I could replicate that to this day
what
@@charlie-ch3iu How?
@@homesteader14 Ive tried but I dont think im doing right. Can you please give me detailed step by step instructions
Get really, really high. Trust me. That shit feels fuckin amazing
Don't jerk it for a couple of weeks. The best orgasm I ever had was on a new year's eve after I didn't masturbate for around 3 weeks. I was watching porn but I kept tabbing out because someone messaged me on facebook so for whatever reason I decided to chat with them. So I kept edging and then stopping to write a message for like an hour or more. Then when I finally decided to cum it was fucking wild. I felt it in my whole body and it lasted for so long. No orgasm before or after that even came close. So 3 things to keep in mind, take a break from jerking it for a while, edge yourself until you are just about to cum and stop for a bit (repeat this a couple of times) and lastly, take your time. Those are secrets to wild orgasm.
12:47 you can hear cr1tikal texting, just an observation.
nice observasion
Heard the same thing, I was trying to figure out if it was Kaya or Charlie lol
When I read this it was at 12:50
Ikr
No Cyber its really easy to hear
im actually kinda pissed at how much i laughed at this because, like an idiot, i watched this in the middle of the night and cant laugh as loud as i want, im just wheezing like a cartoon dog, gonna burst a blood vessel
been there, doing it right now buddy.
Those are the times when i truly fucking hate myself
Yeah same
This is one of my favorite videos from him and it’s criminally underrated
Let it be that way so youtube doesn't take it down
This is the greatest comment section of all time
All Time*
IFKR??? I can finally rest in peace knowing I am not the only one...perverts together strong!
It definitely is
Now everyone’s spilling their beans because Charlie started the conversation XD
one time i came seven times in one hour and i dont know why but i swear to god my kidney failed
***** youre welcome
Did you play that one game in the ads?
this guy
xD
this made me fucking wheeze
I see a bunch of people asking what game this is, it's called Blood and Bacon. It's on the Xbox 360 indie store.
no one asked that shit bruv
It's also on steam-
Altanic ty bro
Is it FREE also it's on pc
@@perk8601 thats the joke.
one time I tried that hot shower fapper doo, except while vaping. I just had my vape in the one spot in the shower the water doesnt spray at and hotboxed the shit out of the place. once I realized there must have been less oxygen in there than a fish you bought and forget to let out of the bag for a few hours it was already too late, I had a multidimentional metaphysical nut and had to slink out onto the bath rug just about unconscious, wet wrinkly and seemingly dying but also in this ascended plane of nirvana before opening the door and experiencing oxygen for the first time in the last half hour or more and having your animals rush to you like you just crawled out of a steaming lobster pot and they think your dead.
Yo actually wtf
Holy shit this happened to me too
Vaping in the shower seriously gets u messed up lol
Yo don't vape.
@@user-pn2so7dh8p nicotine which can Increase blood pressure and heart rate, Narrow arteries, Lead to heart attack by contributing to the constricting of the arterial wall. You're also inhaling things into your lungs. It also causes popcorn lung. I mean if you're an adult you can do whatever you want. But you should know the risk you're getting in to.
“The rusty snowman.” Sounds like a WWE move
Sounds like a good idea
He literally beat his meat
I need a second video of this, badly. haven't laughed this hard in ages
I had a friend who would sit in the corner of gym and would skip all the hentai scenes and only watch the plot
Madlad
I thought the hentai scenes were the plot.
It's all story. The actual hentai just has all the explicit details
This guy "watches hentai only for the plot" unironically
Professionals has Standards
This video has brought unity between males and females on pleasuring themselves, this sheds a tear in my eye
Your profile picture however does not
@@GeoSY good
Truly this will bring not only the genders together, but the left and the right will amalgamate into one unified party.
*Feral Amalgamation starts playing*
It’s not even weird anymore. It’s comical and enlightening at the same time.
The first nut will always be the best
Chokin the chicken was shamed in my family and when I first nutted at 10 years old I felt ashamed and was actually shaking with fear.
ive been trying to recreate that feeling
I didn't even realize i nutted for my first nut, i didn't know you could nut either. I just took my hand up and there was suddenly weird cream on it
N O
@@sauceypickles7585 10?
A dude in my social studies got caught shining the dolphin because the girl beside him was wondering what it looked like. Teacher called him out. We were 15.
That's a bit too old to do shit like that.
+Tobin Dingus One would hope.
My friend got caught hootin the owl by some feminist bicycle and got a detention and its not embarrassing because it happened to my friend
yeah I doubt he got anything more than an embarrassing phone call to his mom.
TacoLover tell me about it
I was once rubbing myself on the back bench next to the Back door of the class while teacher was in the class. My English teacher passed by the classroom and saw me doing something below the desk.
She came inside the class and stood me up. I was embarrassed but then teacher asked me who i was texting below the desk. Lmao she thought i was texting. And since I had Zero shame in me, I went straight back to rubbing myself.
You're lucky. What if you're teacher asked you to hand the phone over ?
She might have realized and was just covering for you
plot twist:She knew
I've never been more disappointed when a video ended
Petition for volume 2
This is easily one of the best videos on CZcams
Holy shit I've done the hot shower thing before. Nobody was home but I had to lay on the bathroom floor for 20 minutes and I was on the verge of passing out the whole time
Foehammer i thought i was the only one who couldnt cum standing up in the shower
Peyton Taylor I can’t either!
Jesus when I tried that I thought I was gonna die
Fuck man I couldn't even get a full on after fifteen minutes I even pulled up porn on the counter but nope, then I started beating the fuck out of my dick like it was the wife of a football star and I came after ten minutes, neck minute I'm about to go to sleep and my dick has fucking swelled up because I went so hard I thought my dick was fucked up and I couldn't sleep. Never fapping in a hot shower ever again
I’ve done it standing in the shower a few times but it’s hard (pun intended)
This video and the comment section is the first thing that's made me laugh so hard in months, I'm cackling like a hyena
I guess my first experience was at 8 years old when i searched up "naked wamen" on my mom's computer and i just saw these super hot models completely naked
I kept looking at it for a good hour without doing nothing just trying ti figure what all of that was (no one was home except my sleeping grandfather) and then all of a sudden i just hear the garage door opening so i closed it and went to play my ps2
A couple minutes later my mom got to her computer to do something and noticed something weird on her browse history, she called me (by my full name)... man i knew she knew it. i decided to just tell her.
that was a really scary experience i thought i was doing something illegal and the police would show up, i went to sleep that night feeling super guilty.
The moral of the story ? Always delete your search history after you're done.
@@tudormiller8898 no. use incognito mode.
First time for me was when my best friend and I searched up "naked boobs" I didn't get it in front of him but I thought about it later eating breakfast and then got a boner.
Lol. This happened to me too. My mom became stressed. My dad gave me the talk of how to delete all the history and suggested tabs.
@@IQFZ use incognito and delete your history.
this video has brought all men together in the comments section
Shut the fric up stoopid idot there’s females too
@@allyd4860 English
Lol Gay lol gay
@@allyd4860 you seriously think they were women lol
mahfoud seraf what
_let us never speak of this again_
Smedis2 Bonus points for a Super Tempo pfp
No. This is the Bible
I was SOO shocked the first time I blew a wad all over the living room carpet. It has been a distance game ever since.
All over the carpet ? Did you clean it up ?
69th like haha I’m special
please end my suffering
@@tudormiller8898 you really want to know?
Yes we do
So are you the dude or the baby in the profile picture?
"I didn't know what to type in to find any of that, so I typed in the word 'fudge'" WHAT
I give this an Aquaphore on the moisture scale.
lol as an Aqua man myself i grew up on Aquaphor but i admit i prefer Johnsons baby gel now
this is the start of the podcast. things go Official from here
What is the broadcast number,I cant find it
I see what you did there...
@Cameron sadly i didn't
@@someguy9496 in the darkest days the legend returned to save me
When he was around 14, one of my best friends was getting it done in his bedroom and then his brother walked in. Instead of being emberassed, he stared straight in his eyes and just kept on going.
You have to be committed to the craft
That was a move more powerful than a supernova
Or a Spirit N U T
Only weird if you make it weird
What a power move holy fuck
the one thing good about western countries is how open everyone is about sex. Here in India, I always have to run a billion calculations in my head to see if it is safe to make a sex joke
i think every parent should be more open about it with their child/ren
Ah yes, western countries and their only good trait of sexual openness
yoooo duuude we cant even have girls as casual friends in India and in most countries you can just go up to a girl and talk to her when i tried to ask a girl for some notes (girls were smarter at studying) the girl just started backing off and not even looking at me
@@kamadotanjiro3118 Wtf, ig she had some beef with you because thats just unheard of
I'm the 69th like. Speak of honor
This should get animated holy fuuck
Knight Huskey would be a weird animation
Makes you think. Where can I find a friend comfortable enough to talk about masturbation for hours
Craigslist.
4chan?
+MrSmilingDeath YES!!!
Anywhere in a male locker room
Kizhaz same
Okay, I have rarely told this story but when I was like 8 or something our school made us get changed into sports gear all in one classroom.
I, in my infinite wisdom, decided instead to take all my clothes off and wrap myself in the shirt I was wearing (like a makeshift toga). I then realised that I forgot my sports clothes in my bag so I had to go out into the corridor (which was thankfully empty) to get them.
A teacher got suspicious that I was leaving and followed me out, she asked me what I was doing and looked me dead in the eye... my shirt that was wrapped around me slipped and I stood butt ass naked in front of my teacher in a school hallway... she was horrified but said nothing and walked back inside.
I think about that a lot.
Damn. Were you in a only male class?
Wow, lol
full of wisdom
full of wisdom
Real power move
And 7 years later, this appears in my recommended....
I listened to this while eating my lunch. No regrets.
when I hear cri1tikal's skype I think it's my skype going off
it might've been kaya's because he was the one streaming i think
+Monte criktikal was I was watching I remember
but you don't have friends Tommy
Damn, now I feel Im obligated to thank my long lost childhood pal. He was always joking about bustin a nut, about sex and stuff and after reading all the comments and listening to the video I realise now he was like my guardian angel, except he was only protecting my dignity.
Alex, if you're reading this, thank you D:
thats wholesome
The holy nut
God bless Alex
What the fuck dude
You must be new here.
i dont even know man
yep
This is the lord you're talking about
Everyone jacks off
Lol
why is this gaming category? this should be education!
A little late, but since we're sharing super personal stories...a few minutes ago I blew a load that had the force of a canon. Unfortunately my ENTIRE LOAD landed on my laptop keyboard. I didn't expect it to shoot into the air and be a 2ft projectile but it happens. Luckily I was able to clean it up because it was really thick. That's it.
Mmmm tasty
See yah
The video is like 20mins long, if you jizzed 'a couple minutes ago', you jizzed during the video?
@@vgamesgaming1165 No. I nutted and then watched the video. He coincidentally starting talking about his nut, so I shared my story.
@@ilikeanimals5015 wtf.
I feel so grateful that my mom doesn't speak English, I'm watching this without headphones while I'm having lunch in the dinning room
I remember my first. I beat it late in the night when rosanne was on... So my fetish for thicc was born.
Loool
"oh, so you tried the rusty snowman"
"He have to at least 3 inches away to pull of that maneuver"
Right when I climax I yell my parents name. I try and clean up before they get to my room. We call this nut roulette.
1th0tuw3r3aw1ld_0nE living on the edge I see
It has a name on the Urban Dictionary, the suicide nut
@@captainspy3024 Ik I found that out like a week later
This is awesome dude, don't ever stop
as a woman this is so fascinating to hear, it's like period stories but worse
now that's what I call determination to master the art of ejaculation
22 mins , OH BOI TIME TO LUBE UP MY SAUSAGE.
qyza *Girth*
Why the fuck did i read that in tylers voice? 🤣
Uh oh
This is like the greatest video ever. A conversation of gentlemens.
doing it left handed when ur right handed every now and again is a skill worth learning
im right handed and only do it with my left
@@joshyjosh1935 same lmfao
That skill may be called Ambi-dick-rous.
@@jivanvasant frfr
Critical has a unique family, to say the least...
Clitikal I had a wierd ass dream that you were my sisters boyfriend and you would play the ukulele all the time and I found out you were the real clitikal and then you tried to kill me
True fear
dude i would've felt betrayed irl like how could dream charlie do that to me?
This is a phenomenal comment
Everybody talks about how their first salmon slapping session was amazing, mine was just sheer bewilderment and fear. When I first started watching porn, I didn’t do nothing, I just kinda stared until I got bored. Then one faithful day I was watching Bella Bellz and the guy was finishing on her. So I put two and two together and tried it out. The explosion got on my jeans, and I had no idea what to do. Then my grandma and Grampa got into our house, so here I was panicking in the bathroom trying to cover up the scene.
“Salmon slapping”
Mike Diaz what the fuck happened next
Come on don't send me to jail I didn't do nothing man
This is one of the greatest videos on the entire internet and it should be preserved for the future generations
Did the game footage stop for anyone else? It froze on day 33 for about 10 minutes
+rocknexus got the link to his twitch?
He streams on youtube
+Ben Milligan Streams on CZcams.
Ran out of footage to use.
There is a thin line between respect and fear, and I dance on it
1:00 I think I speak for all men when I say we all tryed
Yup
i can do it and im a fat ass
OwenF prove it
So damn close
Deez Nutz
hol up
Everyone has good story’s about their early boner days, and I’m just sitting here having no idea what my experience is because I forgot pretty much everything
Oh. I'm sure, it will come to you.
“Oh I’m sure it will *come* to you”
Same
I was here for this! so fucking funny
the actual stream was like 2 hours.
+rhinoonthebus he does it sometimes on CZcams, I think its only been twice and its never announced. its like a great white buffalo. of jizz.
Critical often joins his friend in streams and they have conversations like this, Critical himself doesn't stream. But his friend's twitch is www.twitch.tv/huggbeestln
+bones ☠☠ he had it simultaneously going on CZcams as well. he was commenting on the CZcams chat and how much of a hellhole it was xD
+rhinoonthebus you're welcome. 😄
An interesting topic to say the least.. Did make me laugh but I was super creeped out when you told your parents they had to wait until after you finished to go to the movies xD
J
This comment section is timeless.
this was my first critikal video. what a place to start.
That weird boxer technique your friend talked about was similar to how I first started. Except instead of knuckles I just used my whole hand. It wasn't until I came to the conclusion that stroking it out was less messy than that.
And just to be weirder the first time I did it, was the result of me trying to push it back in because I thought it was gonna get so big it would fall off. I was a dumb ass kid.
me too kinda
I used to think the goal of jacking it was to pee so I only ever did it in the bath
Thats called palming I'm pretty sure haha
Solid strategy.
22 minutes of my chest and sides hurt from laughing.
I sent this video to one of my old friends, then he told me to screw of and blocked me
Damn
... And had the saddest last wank over our dead frienship
Not a true friend
They are weak
He doesn’t deserve you
To this day, one of my favourite videos Charlie has made
I love how much you involve your parents. I was dying during this whole video. Legit in tears. You’re gold bro. And your friends just as fuckin funny.
fudge
FUDGE
F U D G E
fudge
FUDGE
no one completed this even after 6 years? a shame
F U D G E
Even though I've seen this twice and I'm going for a third three years later
You gotta step up your game man. This is like my 6th time. Ah crap i became that guy that tries to one up you every time. I'm sorry
It’s a miracle that Charlie is as normal as he is
He’s your average Florida man
This could entertain me for hours.
Someone please tell me penguinz0 does podcasts.
He does podcasts.
penguinz0 does podcasts.
He does! You can watch them at blueapron.com/official
Unionist Volunteer boi howdy
Yeah but theyre boring
dudes being dudes
Yep!
Yes
I started watching Charlie 2 years ago and just came across this, got a weird sense of nostalgia when I realized I watched this when it came out.
This is simultaneously the most awkward video ever, the funniest shit I've seen, and an inspiration for future generations.