7 Red Flags in Modern MUSLIM WOMEN
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7 Red Flags in Modern MUSLIM WOMEN has FaiyadFit diving into red flags in muslim women before you marry them. As muslims we don't engage in dating and relationships, we go for marriage so the vetting is more critical. FaiyadFit is a host of The3Muslims, and aims to reinvigorate the success oriented masculinity in muslim men. Future videos coming on muslim marriage advice and muslim fitness in sha Allah. Stay Subscribed!
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"And 99% of these cases could be prevented if you picked the right woman to begin with"
Muslim men are still men first and foremost and it doesn't matter in the slightest how strong her deen is unfortunately or how much of a good woman she actually is, like most men they will pick her for her looks first and foremost. Not hating, I get it. I just think its funny that when they get screwed over they have the audacity to blame the woman only. I've seen it from experience. I married at the age of 35. I was still a virgin, pray daily, lived by Islam, was submissive and respectful. People told me constantly that I sounded like the 'perfect wife'. But they still rejected me because I'm not attractive in favor for the pretty women even if the pretty women had low deen. Such is life unfortunately. THIS is why women don't even try to be anything other than pretty nowadays.
Preach!
You sound bitter sister. OF course it matters how strong a woman's Deen is and how good of a woman she is to a man. Plenty of men if you move outside of your bubble that don't put looks as the top priority. Ofc it is important. Just like it is important for a woman as well that the man looks good and is well-groomed. No offense but if you were 35 at the time, it was probably more so your age because at that age it is much harder to have multiple kids.
You're blaming men as if women shouldn't take accountability for the way they behave or act. Women were born with a brain and the ability to do right or wrong. This is why they will be judged to. And guess what. Many women are the same way too. They look at a man's riches, his height, his status, etc instead of his Deen. But we don't say to these women that get abused that they "should have chose better".
Plenty of men and couples, you can literally see just walking down the street, didn't marry the prettiest woman in the world. Personality and character absolutely matter to men. The most attractive woman on the planet can instantly become the most unattractive based on the way they treat people. This is reality. Men like looks but they also need somebody who will bring them peace.
💯
I get what you’re saying but attraction is the most important thing when it comes to marriage because if you marry someone you’re not attracted to it will be a disaster but just because you’re good looking woman it doesn’t mean you should cheat on your husband.
@@danie6045 Said who? The Prophet? Allah? None of them! In fact, the most important thing is imaan, and you must be a non-Muslim giving preference to looks over religion! Also, the reason why you men are so obsessed with hotties is because you rejected your own 'hijab' and that is LOWERING YOUR GAZE!
"˹O Prophet!˺ Tell the believing men to lower their gaze and guard their chastity. That is purer for them. Surely Allah is All-Aware of what they do." - Chapter Noor, ayat 30.
"Do not let your eyes crave what We have allowed some of the disbelievers to enjoy; the ˹fleeting˺ splendour of this worldly life, which We test them with. But your Lord’s provision ˹in the Hereafter˺ is far better and more lasting." - Noble Qur'an, Chapter Ta-Ha, ayat 131.
Narrated Abu Huraira:
The Prophet (ﷺ) said, "A woman is married for four things, i.e., her wealth, her family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman. Otherwise, you will be losers."
That's why you crave and lust like miserable wimps over what you can't have and you wander around looking at haram, so Allah doesn't allow you to enjoy in halal and you will never be satisfied!
As you talked about only red flags about women, you should make a video on “Red flags in Modern Muslim Men” too. I think it is equally important.
But for that he will need a whole 2 hours documentary 😂
@@BlueBlue23LMFAOOOOO
@@BlueBlue23some men of today’s time are so arrogant and rude after learning about the four wives rule. All we women want is sweetness, romance and kindness. Idc I will give up everything for him if he’s nice. I hate hate hate arrogance, unempathetic and prideful guys. At this point I don’t care if the guy is a burn survivor and his face is deformed, I would marry him if his personality is sweet and humble and he fears Allah/wants Jannah al firdaus.
I just saw a comment saying “yess every man wants four wives 😂 feminists will have to cope”
But they don’t want to buy her gifts, talk sweetly with her, help her around the house WHEN ALL THAT IS SUNNAH.
Ignorance at its best.
I really hope Allah grants me a good husband, ❤
Woman Islamic Education is more important than Men.
Father will go Work for their Family.
In Home, Mother Will teach Her Kids Islamic Moral Values.
If she Teaches her kids, So?
@@W.Suhail32 lol. It doesn't make men education less important. Both gender must be educated cos it takes two to tango
Oh my god I can’t this guy just said “these foreign women are going to be spicy, you have to tame them,” what is she, an animal?
Bro your wife is a person, an insaan. How can you be so disrespectful ya Allah!
People make mistakes and use the wrong words sometimes, but he appears to have his heart in the right place at least so yeah you should point it out, because a good Muslim man should listen to advice
Some of these are so extreme. I am studying to be a psychologist because as a woman, I also see myself as someone who is here to bring healing to the world. My career would never make me neglect my family nor would it take most of my time but I'd also probably be on social media to spread awareness about mental health and get clients. Intention matters, and this isn't a fit-all message.
HUH?! Wdym w extreme, tbh as an hijabi girl i don't and never saw this as oppression, since when i was a little child i aways wanted to wear a hijab but my parents said that first of all i have to grow up and second of all i understand it; we hijabis don't see it as oppression but the outside world is the one who causes oppression.
it's true, but the firmness of it is a bit extreme and discounts humanity of women, exactly. because he discounts the fact that not everyone wants to kids (it's not required, it doesn't mean something about her trauma, and some people don't have the ability but still deserve the chance for love), a woman is not going to be completely agreeable if she thinks a decision is stupid, and there's actual value women put into the world through work as well. a mother + wife IS a full time job that's difficult, but men aren't often breadwinners because this society isn't set up that way (but you may still want to stay in the West for various reasons). so how could these roles work out? so a household may require her to work, and that means you *both* split time with childcare. that's so important, make the roles of parenthood easier by sharing it, and everything else.
This is Islam…. You view the legislation of Allah as extreme?? I’m concerned.
@@itshaleemah_ islam is not extreme, you are ❤️ it doesn't say anywhere that social media is haram and its just a tool that can be used to spread education like this video or spread corruption like anything else.
in islam, women have historically been businesswomen, nurses and teachers provided their husbands allow it.
making islam hard is what shaitan does to drive people away from it. don't be that person. true islam is beautiful and easy.
@@pixpixpix394 cool story…
5:33 this is so real, people would say this to my mom all the time. one time i told my liberal friend that id stay at home if my husband made enough money and she flipped 😭😭
100%
I agree with you on that a woman who doesn't want children may be afraid, but your reasoning doesn't go for most women. Men need to stop speaking for women on why they don't want kids. It's very easy to judge when you aren't the one who has to give birth and carry the child for 8-10 months.
Umm these things are to be decided before marriage, like would a man would want to be with a women who is scared to give birth and whines about it even thugh billions of women have been giving birth since beginning
@xshesyourqorqeousxx3
I definitely agree with you & what he said is so outrageous
Yeah like shes the first woman to ever give birth. Literally every single one of her female ancestors did that
Women need to work nowadays. I don't know any woman who is working just because they "can", want a career and not out of necessity.
exacly and men are not educated its another key he doesnt talk he in an idiot
true, its not the same as hundreds of years ago when life used to be easier and cheaper. now, at least in america, the average house hold needs atleast two incomes to actually pay bills. i know it sucks that there is free mixing now at jobs but its almost always inevitable for most people.
Your statement might be true for Western country, but is not the universal case.
I live in a Muslim majority country and life expenses here is affordable with single income. But yet most women are running after career.
@@tafis007 which country
@@intisaarabdi421 Bangladesh
we need that "boys and girls as friends" video asap
Coming soon 👀
Girls and Boys CANT be friends. It’s HARAM
Inshallah
??? Did u watch the video bruv xd n even otherwise i kinda agree but excuse me ? 😅😂😅
It’s haram, you cannot be befriend the opposite gender, if any of you are true Muslims please get your knowledge from authentic sources, authentic scholars like Shiekh Fawzan, NEVER ever seek knowledge from social media platforms like Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and the most dangerous is Reddit, Tumblr, and Quora. If you use any of the above then just delete it from your life and you will change your life completely. I deleted mine when I graduated at 17. Alhamdulillah I only use CZcams and WhatsApp for Dawah Purposes and Knowledge sometimes. JazakAllah Khair
As a woman, the first thing I look at men is whether they smoking or not. 😅
SubhanAllah
Yes! Such an easy character reveal, and a complete turn off, it's a disgusting habit even for non Muslim people let alone that it's haram, I can't tell you how many times I lost respect for a coworker or a boss because they are smokers.
@@KhadaJhin04 IKR. The easiest thing you can observe without even knowing that guy first. 😅
I SMOKE
its sad that most of people smoke like even if you dont smoke you know someone who does
Salam Aleikum brother, great video, just to add a point regarding the hijab : we also need to understand that hijab is not only a piece of cloth, if you wearing the hijab with tight clothes, make-up, heels, parfume. etc it doesn't make sense because it doesn't fulfill the requirements of the hijab. We're seeing these hijabis being on social media, fashion industry, entrateinment and the list goes on, it's so shameful wallahi.
We as women we need to have a serious concern about haya...
Yes we’ll go into this
Male friends should extend to work colleagues. You can have work colleagues, but it should be strictly for business purposes only. If you are linking up after work for dinner or going to the movies as a “social” gathering is a big no-no. It applies to both men and women.
I’ve known couples who broken up, because the muslimah had to many male colleague as friends. The husband had conflicted feeling about it. She spend more time emailing, messaging and meeting up but it was under the guise of work related. Eventually the guy said get another job or split, the women chose the job.
I use to work in an office full of women. In about a month or two I moved on from that place. Even though wife trusted me and knew nothing will happen. It was better to move on somewhere it it less fitnah and in the end with the help of Allah swt, I’ve found a job with more pay, good brothers to work with and all round work life balance.
2:00 What about the men who uses social media apps such as insta and fb, looks and stalks at naked/ non-naked women?
Redflag, it’s haram to look at this stuff
In islam not waiting children it's not red flag
exactly, because let's think of those who cannot have as well
@@onemillionpercentthere's an obvious difference between not wanting children and not being able to have children.
Imo not wanting children is red flag, daughters form a shield against u from hell, children benefit u after your death
Go find a husband that doesn't want children then but don't come here and convince the rest of us that it isn't a red flag.
Having children is one of the most important goal of marriage. If you don’t want it then discuss it prior to your marriage. Your husband has a right to have children.
In my opinion social media is not needed. Those who care about having contact with you are going to call you or even write a letter. Currently thanking of using dumb phone.
Education for a woman is needed, I bet a men prefer their children to be raised by educated mothers. Part time job for a woman is beneficial even when she has kids. It has to be well planned, you duties as a wife and mother come first, but some life aside of that is good for a woman.
And your private life and problems better stay private, no friend comes with guarantee to stay your friend. That BFF expression is an illusion, especially nowadays.
My advice to muslim men is to really pay attention how much is a woman really invested into you, how much she genuinely cares...cause if she as and you lead with your example as well, she will better and you will benefit from it, same way you will be more willing to better yourself as well, it's an exchange
Yess
what education? that covid 19 is real? that we went to the moon? that the world spins around the sun god, which means you too are spinning?
Tbh, I understand the sentiments but I don't really agree with part-time jobs being beneficial for a sister, especially IF she has kids.
Tasks at home and tasks with kids takes a lot of mental and physical work, including looking after yourself and still have a healthy relationship with your husband. It's only beneficial if you want to work part-time/side hustle - you will find the energy and time for it, but it's not really beneficial I'd say as a whole if it's only because you feel you need to have something outside; this is societal pressures if you don't inherently want to do it.
I personally hear it often to continue working part-time or make sure you have something going on for you. Subhan'Allah sometimes kids and home life is enough - maybe when the kids are older have a part-time job etc. but whilst committed to raising kids, it's much for some and women suffer from burnt out too from juggling a lot. Again, it's only beneficial if you want it. And honestly, a sister needs to ask herself is this something she wants to juggle or does she feel she has to.
Unfortunately some muslim women feel and think they should balance all sorts of things, including work even part-time work. You can have a life outside of house duties and kids - you can volunteer, join a charity, have a new hobby, join a sisters club/community work etc. There's more flexibility in that anyway. Working isn't the only option. But part-time work is still work and requires a lot - unless it's once a week I can't see it being beneficial for a sister who juggles a lot of things.
Let's not put pressure on sisters who are already doing a lot at home, and don't feel they do enough, when in fact they are.
Sorry for ranting, this is something I've seen some sisters are happy to do and others feel pressued to do. And we need to also remind sisters they don't have to and it may not be beneficial for their personal situation.
@@uok6216 everyone knows for themselves, why should it make someone happy to volunteer and feels pressured doing a part time job if one is efficient enough? Makes no sense. It's only the thing of a preference for a woman. Also many men just prefer to have a woman staying in a home 24/7 without a contact with an outside world, while on the other hand they are going in and out, one shouldn't even ask a question. That kind of possessive behaviors women see since Adam a.s. It's not forbidden in Islam, it's a private thing that is individually balanced out each family for itself. So it may be your opinion for your household, but it can't be applied in general nor it should. Stay blessed .
This life is temporary,the real life is in the hereafter,i wish you my bro success and happinnes
Ameen and you as well
Ex. 1. Get rid of social media: and replace it with books, Islamic learning, travel, cooking etc.
2. Picking good friends
3. Making sure the wife also has good ISLAMIC female friends, but not too many as they gossip and tell secrets too much at times.
Bad female friends can influence the wife as well through jealousy or spite.
4. ASK HER ABOUT THE PAST
You can't just put 7 red flags you need to also put alternatives
Just like Heaven and Hell are mentioned side by side at times
Masha Allah improvement for our brothers
@@confessionsofamoviefreak9580 they also affect her family
If it won't affect your future marriage, you shouldn't expose your sins like that especially if they repented and changed. Either side will use it as ammo when things get rough.
@@confessionsofamoviefreak9580 If you were chaste you are allowed to ask for a chaste wife. This isnt where women can have a wild OnlyFans life style and dont get shamed
Simple questions should be answered truthfully.
Asking about the past is fine, as long as you don't force her to expose her sins. Allah SWT tells us not to expose our sins to anybody, not even our husbands. You aren't a special person who is allowed to know about all the sins that she has committed in the past, Allah SWT probably forgave her for those sins.
Excellent points
I haven't heard a shaykh say that social media is haram. If it is haram then that is different but if it is permissible then you will limit your options by rejecting those who have it. Rather see how she uses it, does she post islamic reminders and so on or does she post other things. If you yourself don't have it and your preference is to have someone who doesn't have it then that is different. But don't look down at those who use it for dawah or for other beneficial things. But social media in general is toxic, leave it if it affects you negatively, whether a male or a female.
My family is international… I have no idea what’s up with them if I don’t check their instagram and vice versa. So I still can’t get myself to delete it. Plus I used to post drawings and my sketchbook got wet so instagram is the only place I have all my artwork saved. Like you said I think it’s more important to judge how people use it because showing off your looks or seeking attention is not the only purpose
@@alexia964 I don’t think he meant having social as tool to communicate but rather using it as a influencer or to gain attention by posting photos and videos.
@@tafis007 the whole point is to gain attention in some form otherwise you would just keep the photo private
@@alexia964 Attention seeking women even after they’re married are indeed a big red flag. Even non muslims would agree on that.
Most of what you said is right, but what’s wrong with a woman that doesn’t want kids? Instead of leaving her try fixing that issue and make her feel safe and tell her you’ll be there and not leave her when she becomes a mother. And it’s not just about having a bad childhood, pregnancy destroys her physical and mental health. And most of yall men don’t know how to be fathers or good husbands. Another thing you said is about not letting a woman work, since Islam made it halal for women to work then you have no right to stop her, besides, most of men nowadays are greedy and only spend and waste money on themselves like buying luxury cars and clothes and other stuff but you don’t do the same for your wives. So women have to work to afford buying things for themselves. And you think that you bringing food to the table is your job and that’s it, no it isn’t, your wife has the right to ask you for anything she wants and your money is all hers. So instead of judging women look at yourself, you’re literally a walking red flag.
After my dad died, my mom had to work 2 jobs. I am currently in college, now. I see no issue with women working. Some of us don't have reliable men in our lives.
@@shimmer4771 that’s exactly what i’m saying
@@itzrowxnDear scholars not wanting kids is absolutely red flag.
A mother's prayer is very powerful for child and she has a great status from children pov.
When a man dies 3 things benefit him
1. Sadqa jariyah
2. A beneficial knowledge he told to someone.
3. Righteous kids who pray for him.
So that's why.
And there are many other hadith.
On day of judgment if someone has 3 daughters and raises them well and takes cares of them (some other details in hadith) they will form a shield on judgement day between a man and hellfire.
Imagine being in your 50 when your husband dies, no children, no friends, being totally alone that would suck.
Also women can work as long as it's halal.
Meaning no free mixing and etc.
@@mynmeisname4825 can you give birth? do you know how painful it is? exactly. it destroys a woman’s physical and mental health. and the husband doesn’t care about the mother after birth and ignores her. what’s the point then?
@@itzrowxnyou have messed up mentality, what can i say
This is golden advice jazakallahu khair
Gold as always 👍
Amazing video man❤I've always agreed with these for many months now
Allahumma barik
Salam I know this is mainly a channel for brothers but this video was actually really good. Would it be possible for you to do one of red flags to look out for in Muslim men? Jzk.
Assalamu alaikum brother. You make some good points in your videos, esp in this one, but ive noticed some traces of "red pill" thinking that i would like to point out to you in good heart.
1. To be honest, its extremely illogical to go to a woman that you met on social media, contacted her through social media, so you ALREADY know from the beginning that shes on social media, and then to say "if you dont delete your socials, i dont wanna be with you". I understand its a preference. But if you dont want women who have social media then dont meet a woman through social media to begin with. Its like a man who gets attracted to a woman whos dressed very revealing, and after they get married he starts telling her to cover up. Instead of just marrying a woman who is modest.
Point being, if you dont want her to have something, then she should already be like that when you meet her.
2. When you said "Most women just want to work because theyre programmed, theyre brainwashed" Thats very much a red pill alpha male statement. Women mostly want to work simply because they want the financial freedom. Or they have ambitions and dreams they want to fulfill.
Not because they are brainwashed. And again this goes back to my first point, if you dont want your woman to work, then marry a woman whos already okay with being a housewife, dont go marrying a business woman and then telling her to stay home.
No hate. I just wanted to point these things out. Jazak allah khair brother.
This video is a W !!!
My brother I appreciate the gems 💎 im definitely taking notes 📝
Bismillah
now we need 7 Red Flags in Modern MUSLIM MEN
as a man I agree nothing wrong with that
😂😂😂 TRIGGERED.
Youre a feminist, a man-hater.
Youre a walking red flag.
Coming soon
FEMINIST
@@catsarrecute You are giving me your modern day yoga social distancing mask wearing fashion statement, and hence taking that into account, if women can be feminist, men can choose to be SEXIST.
"My girlfriend's girlfriend, she's my girl too"
Masha Allah these are good red flags to look for 👍👍👍
Jazakallahu khair.
Agre with all of these, at least partially but mostly completely. However, men and boys have to understand you need to step up your game, you should've led with that in my opinion. Lots of men are ignorant of this or just ignore it simply. You need to contribute if you want your woman to be obedient and a good wife. Simply you need to be dominant and a good husband if you want and have a chance of a good wife.
Absolute no brainer, more videos on this coming
The intro bro 💀💀 I was so confused at first
Another one, good job fayiad❤
Alhumdulillah akh
Like your content brother. May Allah bless u
Earned a sub
If a women dresses modestly, wears hijab, prays her 5 salahs, learning Islam, on the deen, doesn't go on social media, knows how to cook, has a personality, shows respect, have no male friends, doesn't free mix or listen to music, wants to have children and given up her career and still is rejected just because she doesn't look a certain way or beautiful. Why is this? Doesn't make sense. I thought character is what matters?
Instead of being bitter we have to rely on Allah swt and trust in His plan. No one will die being deprived of their qadr and whatever blessing was destined for him from Allah's bounty. Let's not subconsciously live our life from a "secular" paradigm, which pushes us to feel hopeless and helpless.
Do not take yourself to task for the flaws of others. May Allah bless you for what you do and refine your character further, because that is indeed what matters and Allah SWT does not judge you by your face, but by your heart. May Allah grant you (or the woman you refer to, if not yourself) better than what you have missed with these rejections, and forgive your sins for your hardships. Allah SWT knows your struggle and He knows His servants often wrong each other. So don't place faith in people - they are inconsistent and most do not value what they should, focusing on shallow traits like status, looks, or money. Instead, keep on striving to improve on yourself for Allah's sake, that you strengthen your connection with Him so He strengthens your du'a, and keep asking for a righteous, pious spouse - your Generous Lord will never deny you. Either you will get the righteous, pious spouse that you have wanted, or Allah will grant you better in this life or the next, in a way you cannot foresee. May Allah ease your affairs upon you.
@@ayyylmao101 Ameen. Jazakumuallah Khairun for the advise. This has made me feel better. May Allah Subhanallah Wa'Tala preserve you and your Imaan. May Allah Subhanallah Wa'Tala grant your duas and give you blessings and peace. Ameen
@@nirozozo All praise is for Allah, who has made you feel better ♥ ameen to your kind words, and wa iyyakum
@@ayyylmao101 Ameen! Thanks for your compassionate encouragement. You're pretty talented at coaching from an Islamic perspective, MashaAllah. Are you currently sharing your skills in any way with others?
If someone you are interested in for marriage doesn’t even fear Allah enough to avoid the haram (especially public sin) how on earth do you think during your meeting process they’ll magically change for you? Allah is first, if they aren’t holding that in their heart and living by it, why would you want them as a companion for the remainder of your life?
I must disagree with the first point, she can keep her social media cause I'll be having my social media too, but she must not post any pictures of her or engage in anything bad in them, and ofcourse all in good measures of use
To each their own 😊
ageed, people here are being so over the top
The opening got me mentally disturbed 😂
Barakallahu feek!
Great content! Just do add that some women have private social media accounts, and that's fine as long as it has family and distant female friends. I've learned so much about Islam from these content creators than I could ever from culture. Keep up the great work!
Sadly some of these red flags in women are a green flag to alot of men. I've been searching to get married for years and the red flags in muslim men video you made, all the men I had found had more than 1 red flag. I am somebody to tries to dress modestly and I feel ignored by alot of muslim men. I've seen it with other women too, but with muslim women who have a ton of makeup, hijab falling off and tight clothes they always seem to have muslim men around them to choose from 😑 I don't understand. I mean I've been turn down for not being a career driven women dispite the fact that I've been told my strength of faith in islam is admorable 🙄
It's better for you that those man were avoided inshallah pray you will find someone better
I hope you find a good husband, inshallah! You sound like an excellent wife. Anyway, I hope I can improve so I can find a good husband.
Majority of men don't want career women
BIBI KHATIJA was our prophet's wife (pbuh) she was a bussiness women. Many women during those times had their careers. So nothing wrong if a women dresses modestly and keep her voice stern not soft , she can have almost any carrer😊😊😊
Becoz educated men want carrer women nower days. Becoz even they grew up watching their mothers struggles😊😊😊
@@All-purposefacts This is incorrect
I said men and women cant be friends in class to my friend and my teacher heard me. So she decides to call me out infront of everyone and call me misogynist. Like bro I stared getting attacked
As a woman, I would add #8: unable to emotionally self-regulate.
My brother , you explained everything perfectly. May Allah Reward You in this Life and in the Hereafter ❤❤
Ameen and you as well
Very good 👍
Red flags in modern Muslim men.
They have a CZcams Channel talking about Red flags in Muslim Women.
🍿
Lol no, you are just easily offended
exactly 😂😂😂
We found the woman viewer
@@JOYRIDEUS You've been red flagged for your ignorance.
I definitely think that a woman who doesn’t want children is not a red flag. There’s the saying that all children deserve parents but not all parents deserve children. Making it seem like there’s something wrong with the woman or she’s unwell because she doesn’t want children is extremely offensive. Some people are just not fit to be parents & same with men. Some women just don’t like babies, they can’t handle the stress, they have other goals in life, or they just can’t imagine giving their whole body up for a baby, & there’s nothing wrong with that. Women who want to have children & are willing to make sacrifices for them, good for you have children. But for the women who aren’t up for that, that’s ok too there’s no shame in that. There is no ayah in the Quran that requires women to have children, it is a choice. So to say it is a red flag is an insane assumption & with no basis.
Pray for me I have deleted my social medias last month, I rarely posted any pics of me though but I hope I will never uninstall them again.
👏👏👏 manshallah, may Allah help you find whatever you are looking for sister
Well addressed points, BUT
What’s with the
‘Smiling, caring, agreeable woman’😂
I mean yes we should be that, but then we do have a voice of our own, we deserve to have a say in things, to give opinions, to opt for decisions, of course eventually the decision lies with the head of the family, but not that we just have to agree and nothing else.
When you work you have to agree with your boss whether you like his decisions or not. So why it should be different when it comes to your husband? If you show your boss that you are a responsible and smart worker after some time he might consult you or even promote you so that's similar with your husband. Just be patient and don't compete with him. He will figure out that you actually have reasonable opinions and trust you more with time.
@@tahirballikaya213if he doesn't trust her judgement he shouldn't marry her in the first place. The relationship between husband and wife isn't the same as boss and subordinate. There is no مودة و رحمة in a boss-subordinate relationship. There isn't much life detail in corporate relationships. The context for the two relationships is completely different what applies to one doesn't necessarily apply to the other.
@@hb89397 actually I think it is a very good comparison. Just because there is love doesn't mean you give away important decisions. If I'm a millionaire I'm not going to give my wife an unlimited credit card from day 1 even if I love her a lot. I will limit it and see if she can control herself and then slowly increase the limit if I see fit. It works similar in a work environment. There can be love between boss and subordinate too in fact in many family owned business the boss is your father or mother.
@@tahirballikaya213 im not going to listen to my boss with everything. if my work environment is abusive or the career is stupid, supporting bad things, etc. i have the full right to just leave. but a marriage isn't like that -- you don't want to have an exit strategy all the time, so you need to choose well. that's why a husband can't be like a boss, because the value of the roles are quite different.
@@onemillionpercent a husband has to be like a boss because he needs to take the lead and responsibility as Allah has described in surah al-Nisa. But of course if he sees his wife as a slave then neither of them will have a happy life. Because of my wife is not happy, she will not be able to make me happy. So a smart man takes the lead but is still considered.
Salam brother, I want to become a marriage coach/counselor. Any advice on courses?
I’m afraid number 4 I completely disagree with. Prophet Muhammad (sw) worked for Khadija (RA) they had a boss - employer relationship. There was no “free mixing,” it was a relationship of mutual respect and boundaries. The wealth that was generated from this arrangement helped fund Islam later on when they both got married.
Muslim men may also have women bosses “would could fire them at any point,” but that doesn’t mean their creating fitnah- they’re just providing for their family.
Secondly, indeed, being a mother and a wife is a lot of hard-work! No doubt about it. But it is also important that a woman be able to support herself in the event of an emergency. For example, if she has to divorce her husband or her husband dies, gets sick or just cannot provide due to financial crisis. Having an independent woman as a wife doesn’t mean she doesn’t want to be a mother/ caregiver - it just means that she’s ready to face the world if it is ever necessary.
And I completely support any woman’s wish to stay at home and raise her family! That is so important and beautiful- but unfortunately the world isn’t perfect and I believe women should be ready for anything. Hence, they should indeed go to university and acquire skills that can help them in a job/business. Because then she would have to do labor jobs which are so hard and difficult
Prophet Muhammad PBUH married her at the age of 25. He got his first revelation at age of 40. Means the commandments of covering came later on
This one is gonna trigger a lot of people bro lol. Informational video for sure.
I think if there’s femininity in the woman and she has respect for you, then over time she can definitely grow with you and change into a better person alongside you. That would be the most beautiful thing ever. None of us are perfect. Of course, the unwillingness aspect comes from her not respecting you enough in the first place, which like you said, the UNWILLINGNESS to change and grow into a better Muslim is the red flag.
I also think the man should lead by example. Like me, I definitely would not want my wife to have a social media presence OR she CAN as long as it’s a private account following all women and having all women as followers as well. I myself have less than 30 followers on Instagram all of whom are men and I follow zero women as well. Again, if you don’t lead by example, then you’re just a controlling hypocrite tbh. There’s no ambiguity. Men obviously can’t follow women and do that kind of stuff either.
Also, one additional point I have is that to encourage your wife to wear the hijab or dress more modest, it’s always best to do it yourself as a man even if our awrah is different from men to women. I started wearing thobes outside and repping that I’m Muslim and people look and notice and sometimes say something, which is cool to me lol. Some people randomly say Salaam which is also nice. Leading by example is always best and if the woman respects you, she will follow suit.
Super true bro Jazakallahu khair habibi
@@jannatidyali I agree brother, but technology is so powerful. We have to use it for the right reasons. We’re being tested heavily mentally in this modern day and age. Also, it’s kinda contradictory to say all social media is haram but keep CZcams. I’d say CZcams falls under the umbrella of “haram.” But yea, I would say keep but limit. DEFINITELY delete TikTok lol. IG reels is similar but it’s easier to avoid nonsensical stuff on IG. It’s all about self-control.
@@jannatidyaliWhy the double standards? You said "ALL" social media. Don't just pick and choose. Your approach is not that optimal, instead social media should be seen as a "double-edged" sword. Either it could be used for Haram or Halal. You should also weigh the harm vs. good. Certain social media does more harm than good even if you put halal content such, as OF.
@@jannatidyali
Information technology is not haram, it is a matter of how it is utilized, it is only haram to use it for evil purposes, the application itself is not haram. If all social media is haram by your logic, then why are you using CZcams and WhatsApp? You can’t simply decide what’s haram and what’s halal on whims, it’s preposterous.
100%! A lack of a growth mindset in the deen is the biggest red flag, whether that's in a potential male spouse or a female spouse.
Watched this as a woman, wanting to be a good partner. I have an issue with lying. And justifying it by thinking it has no ill will, like I'm not cheating or going out. These are things like opening up about issues I'm having anonymously and purposefully hiding that. Since I don't want to seem broken. Also saying I'm fine when I'm not. But I need to face that no matter the intention, it serves no good. It is prohibited and it will hurt others. The reason why I share this, is if there is anyone like me, I hope they realise too
Red Flags in Muslim Men - a guy wearing a LA Cap with a trimmed up beard speaking about Islam 😅
Bro is. Pressed
woe to every backbiter and slanderer. surah al humazah
Not every woman in social media is posting her picture some of them post stuff they made, places they went, about books they read, some of them start business with it, it's one of the communications tools, you just need to use it the right way, and if you want your wife to give it up you need to lead by example.
So I think the first one is a little exaggerated, but the rest is kinda fair.
Another red flag could be her not praying her salaah. 🤷♂️
Big one
Absolute
red flag? bro what r you on about most scholars agree that not praying makes you a kafr
@@Krym It's just something that shouldn't be overlooked, especially if she's pretty. That's all I'm saying.
@@Krym yet some people still dont
Brother I want to ask you about men being kind and respectful to their wife bc I saw a lot of Muslim men on social media saying men should be strict and harsh on their wife and shouldn’t let them be independent and control them but I grew up learning that men should be respectful and kind toward their women can you please explain this ❤❤sorry for my bad English
They are only a small portion of man you need to just ONE Man pray for him and find him
Good women deserve respect bad women don't. Women who are on social media like Instagram don't deserve any respect.
@@str7413in that case it’s same for men then bad men don’t respect any respect or love
@@aveshdiamond6763thank you ❤
@@fatimamahmood3232good men for good women.
Bad women for bad women.
Also in your comment u said controlling what u mean by that? Cuz in islam wife is supposed to obey husband unless it goes against Allah
May I be a good wife for my future husband ❤️
Maa'shallah. Sister☝🏽🤲🏽
@@ricklopez778 🙈🙈
STOP TALKING ABOUT FEMININE OR MASCULINE ENERGY THIS IS A POLYTHEIST BELIEF THAT SHOULD NOT BE MIXED WITH ISLAM
Really? I never knew that.
That intro killed me🤣
May Allah SWT protect us from the fitnah.
Also, may he make us of the righeous, those who inspire respect in a clean not forced way, that is better because you could marry a good woman, but you yourself not be prepared to be a good man...
Allah SWT already said it, bad women and for bad men, and otherwise, so you can't expect what you don't give.
SubhanAllah
7:25 I remember me, when I now look back, being so soft , submissive, sensitive and caring, till my husband beat and humiliated me so much till I got aggressive and hard. Everytime I was vulnerable, he trampled on my feelings like a rhino on a fire place. I'm still caring (for my children) , but sometimes I miss the old me and wished, I needn't to be strong all the time.
Sorry, girl.
im so sorry, i hope ur doing well now. inshallah you get with someone who appreciates you
Wa alaykum assalaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuh
With all due respect only ai robot has these qualities all at once . So good luck guys
Such women don’t exist yet for YOU, so level up until they do ;)
@@FaiyadFit Thanks for replying.
If you want to have a educated understanding wife she is going to have her own life. Friends, family, social media, education with student loan and job to cover that loan. So No girl will agree to leave all of her life behind. If a girl is loyal she is going to be loyal after having all of these things. If she is not loyal she is not going to be loyal if she doesn't have friends, social media or job. Women are human not machine or animal like dog have certain characteristic or cat have other. What if she says she will leave all her friends, social media behind but does that secretly without anyone's knowledge. How are you going to prevent that?
Always remember birth, death and wedding control no one but Allah. No one is going to get Disney Princess but you deserve to have criteria. For me I have own business I want a housewife who will help my mother in cooking or household work .and fight me when i made mistake, take care of me when I am sick. I don't need money. Some of my friends want submissive wife that is fine. If that girl has good cherecter and from a good family and have these criteria I don't think you should worry about anything social media, Job or anything if you are beliver of Allah . Allah will give you best. and it is permissible to post photo by covering and leave face open.
One last thing how do I level up? Tips would be useful.
Clearly a sign you need to improve
@@saifalam2030 FINALLY 👏 I've been looking for this in this WHOLE entire comment section. THANK YOU.
@@JOYRIDEUS If someone attracted to you by your improvement, than isn't there high amount of chances that she will leave you once she finds more improved person. Since your improvement pulled her in. Also don't you call these girls gold digger?
Subhanallah
Bro, you need to choose a stance and commit. You've portrayed everything as "fine" and "okay," yet you don't seem to have any issues with the very thing you're advising others to abandon the girl for. Pick a side and stand firm; don't leave room for ambiguity.
May Allah bless you will specify. My point is at the MOMENT you meet her if she has social media or does xyz it’s okay as in not the end of the world. She could still be WILLING to follow your lead to better herself and that’s a good girl. But if she’s UNWILLING then it ain’t okay.
You made great video. Alhumdulilah in Pakistan we don't have these much. One more i would add is if she debates a lot in fiqh issues and hate men masculanity and self improvement stuff when they pratice it. I was following few religious females on twitter and i thought "wow they understand parenting, relationships, islam so well" but once I did a simple religous disagreement they got their debator mode on for hours, called me names, disrespected people i respect after that i unfollowed every single "religous female accounts and diary" social medias.
That’s because these “shaykhas” are no more pious than the average Muslim woman. They just seem religious on the outside.
There are many “religious” women like this, so be careful.
@@MadmanLovesinshallah
Tbh brother why were you following these female Muslim accounts/sisters in the first place?
@@uok6216 i dont need to justify you anything? who are you? mini God?
I don't follow any now. I followed before because any account that shares hadeeth I follow.
it's not as if pakistan was an example in terms of human rights, let alone women's rights ..
From what you seen in counciling out of this list what was the main 3 reasons. Like was it not wearing hijab mainly or sum?
The difference is, we're observing a woman at first glance. We don't know why she's not wearing it. I've had sisters who told me they were receiving death threats for being Muslim and stopped wearing it.
And a lot of jobs won't let them wear it. Other times, it's gotten dangerous.
Opt for a religious marriage without a legal contract in the U.S., maintain separate bank accounts, and ensure that assets and the house are solely in your name. When financial assistance is necessary, you can provide it, but it's essential for men to proactively protect themselves. Also, be mindful of the common law marriage regulations in each U.S. state to steer clear of unintended legal implications.
you can't get a religious marriage without legal contract in the US. Having things in your name means absolutely nothing, in divorce they can take that away from you. Maybe have your assets in a trust. But end of day, the system is corrupt, because if she hires a lawyer that went to the same college or fraternity as the judge, or if the lawyer and judge go to lunches and get invited to this and that, you are done.
Even a prenup isn't bulletproof. Go to Utah.
Who just marry a religious woman from a Muslim country…..
@@jannatidyali It's wise to prioritize safety in our secular society, where women often receive greater protection. Taking unnecessary risks, especially in this context, might not be the smartest choice.
True
So yall don’t want your wives to work but yall don’t want them to own anything of their own. Control freaks 💀
How to find pious muslim friends im going into highschool and i dont wanna fall into the sin\fitnah👍👍
In sha Allah soon
No one can misguide you unless you want to be misguided yourself
Most women work by necessity that's the reality we will not just wait for the husband to come, what if he never come and even so what if he doesn't make enough which is OK of course I'm just stating the obvious. Some women they just don't want to get married that's their choice and people are making fun of them oh look at her she put her education first and now she is a single old woman no one wants her. Like what's wrong with our community ??!! I have a friend she was still single at 30 so she was still a virgin mashaallah her cousins made a song to make fun of her they called it the old virgin😒 she is now married hmdl but she used to cry because of it
Alhamdullilah
2:22 Post the complete hadith, when you do. Atleast complete sentences.
Because at the end after the words "None of them will enter paradise ...." .
This should be added ".... except as rarely as you see a red beaked crow. " .
i.e. Meaning "very Rare"
But, Muslim women very much have a chance of Paradise. And remember: the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said the majority of his Ummah are in Hell.
Hamza 2.0
As a muslim woman I’m willing to do everything but I’m very career oriented and I’m not willing to give my career up for a man, now yes if I have children and they’re young and they need my full time attention and my husband makes a decent amount of money to support all of us then yes I’d be willing to put it to pause for the sake of my kids for some years but after that I’d like to continue because you never know if the marriage falls, god forbid if something happens to your husband there are end number of things that can happen so keep that degree and that job, in my opinion
Working isn't prohibited as far as I know for woman but you definitely need to find A HALAL job that meets all the Islamic requirements and you should discuss before marriage to your husband that you want to work
Exactly!!!
well then you shouldn't have a problem when you husband decides to get a 2nd wife. Because if you are not willing to give 100% of yourself to him and his family, why should he?
@@tahirballikaya213 What does that have to do with anything?
So your pursuit of a career is based on a "what if" essentially.
What if this happens? What if that happens? Based on what? Speculation.
The Intro Astagfirullah HAHA
I have few muslim friends, their first is mostly some of their cousins .
I wouldn't delete my social media because it's where I connect with students and parents as I'm an online tutor. Marketing myself and my credentials is essential to my work. My fiancé understands and the only thing he requested was passwords for my fb and ig which I believe is reasonable.
Note, i tutor primary school aged children, so 11 and under.
why is there a need to exchange passwords?
@@TheExostan he wants to be able to monitor DMs BC I have a public profile. He won't have passwords to my lock screen or anything like that, it's just those specific apps I mentioned. Some couples want to share more passwords, and some share less, but for us this is what we're ok with and that's all that matters.
@@Peaches10608Everyone should have privacy. No one should ask for passwords. (not even parents)
Then you don't deserve a man. If he not worth you deleting social media which is not something Allah has commanded. Well you'd are an L for a good man and that is a red flag for future problems. This is the male perspective if you want to marry a Male then you do have to adapt to HIM, as Allah made men the leaders of the household..just facts
Leader doesn't mean owner??? What kind of a person you are? Do you know what leader really means? He leads, he gives sacrifices, men like you are the REAL problem. Look at yourself, women are only submissive to ALLAH, and if they r not doing something wrong, you are no one to ask her to STOP anything. Husband's obidence is within the obideience of Allah. So, please go away. You don't deserve any woman. You are not automatically entitled to everything just bcz you are a man. @@JOYRIDEUS
Bro started with nightmare
As a woman I agree with all this points. And I didnt get any red flag from you except the children part. My dream was always to help orphans... Is this such a red flag? 🥺 I truly wish that Allah will send me a husband who wants the same. insha'Allah
On of the biggest shocking I had coming Europe was the young man and women smoking.
3:19 💯💯💯💯💯💯
Also let me know if Muslim women WITHOUT these 7 traits are available.
here
i am staying single for life, women have completely lost the plot.
Level up and Allah will give you a good girl don’t take the blk pill
@@FaiyadFit Can we not call females/young ladies/young women/Muslim sisters of marriage age a "girl" PLEASE
Hopelessness and helplessness comes from shaytan. Ask Allah to Guide you to hope in Him and your fellow Muslim sisters. Please pray for the best for the whole ummah in everything of this life and the hereafter!
Find a foreigner or a very good mannered sister in your country. You have to keep trying. Best of wishes, an American sister.
@@shimmer4771how can one person find a foreigner, for example like someone especially the man who's Living in a third world country?
Can a Christian & muslim date & still have health relationships
A muslim cannot date. Not sure about Christians but they don't care about what their religion says anyway.
I think if you were raised right, with Islamic and involved parents who raised you not just paid for you, you won’t have any problems with these expectations. Pretty basic and the bare minimum tbh.
He is a normal human being who may mis-explain his point of view in a correct way, and you are a human being and you may understand his words in a wrong way, but we must not forget the words of God Almighty: O believers! Avoid many suspicions, ˹for˺ indeed, some suspicions are sinful. And do not spy, nor backbite one another. Would any of you like to eat the flesh of their dead brother? You would despise that!1 And fear Allah. Surely Allah is ˹the˺ Accepter of Repentance, Most Merciful. [Al-Hujurat: 12].
Muslim arab man with countless women in past wants (a pure women ) dude be for real come on😒
he isnt arab and why r u accusing him of zina?
Women are reaction based and easily influenced: most of these issues are a direct reflection of the fall of Muslim men in modern day and age
100
We need a video on that!!!❤
@@FaiyadFit stop being so prejudiced!!!!
women are not easily influenced lol
damn not even muslims are safe
Yes. We are. There are good Muslim women out there. The problem is, many brothers in the West have seen sisters who aren't properly practicing Islam and have seen women on social media, so they assume most, if not all the sisters are bad.
Me, a muslimah, clicking this: Don't be me don't be me don't be me-
haha
I feel you😢
what I though about this is that yh, a women shouldn't be working after getting married but, I would allow her to just not know anything, what I would do is make her learn a skills that will make her money and then she could work for me not for long depending on her, so that we get divorced, she could have a skill to make money from, it happens that a woman would live with a bad husband just because she won't be able to Make money. even I believe that man should get ready before marriage, so lets say, that your women does something bad, and the solution is to divorce her, the am should be discipline enough to be able to divorce the women no matter what happens, even she emotional blackmail you or say that you can't live without her because you won't be able to control your sexual desire. let's say that if she takes half of your assets, she still gonna have to pay for that on the day of judgement or in hell fire
#8 Not a virgin AND never been married. Biggest one.
Men and women can be friends they definitely can.Not everything is about sex
In Islam, free mixing is not permitted.
no they cant lmfao
Assalamualaikum brother…what’s wrong in being a doctor muslim hijabi girl??
I mean I have given my half of youth to the medical school in thinking that by being a doctor I could do much better for ummah…..Btw I m not bombing u with feminist ideology…and I m not the one….. it’s just a query.
Nothing wrong in it, till you have haya and faith in Allah and his commandments
He is talking about today's Muslim women in general who wants validation from strangers
Wowww blaming the victims
Lol funny , 14k views but just 700 likes, so they watch your channel but and probably agree with you deep down but not likes , cause they shy 😂
Or just don’t get married so whatever happens at least you get to keep your assets
That’s too blk pill mate
No
I don't have to imagine. There is no such thing as the right woman, they are all like this.
The overwhelming majority. That's not shocking though. High quality men are few and so are high quality women. That's just the reality.
No, they're not. If you keep finding bad women, maybe the problem is you.
@@shimmer4771 Stop simping. Simps are the problem.
@@mwdw4338 I'm a woman. And I'm no simp. Thanks.
@@mwdw4338 oh my god stop being an 8th grader
If they refuse prenups.