Atsuko Okatsuka: I Was Kidnapped and Brought to the U.S.
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- čas přidán 5. 06. 2023
- Atsuko Okatsuka (stand-up comedian) joins us in studio to discuss her “Scooby-Doo” brand of comedy, her parents meeting on a Japanese dating show, and how her mom’s schizophrenia impacted her childhood. She opens up about why it’s difficult for her to identify her own needs, how navigating the uncertainty of her childhood led her to disordered eating, and rebelling against her family with her first romantic relationship. Atsuko also explains first bonding with her husband over his own mother’s schizophrenia diagnosis and their recent, hilarious discovery that they were not actually legally married. She considers her blind optimism and love of people as a result of her upbringing, Margaret Cho’s influence on her comedy and career, the origins of her distinctive hairstyle, and living at the complicated intersection of different Asian cultures.
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Thank you to BetterHelp for sponsoring the show and to Haesue Jo, Licensed Therapist and Head of Clinical Operations at BetterHelp. #ad
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Theme Song Written, Produced, and Performed by Ed Robertson. Mixed by Kenny Luong.
#MayimBialik #BialikBreakdown #AtsukoOkatsuka
Atsuko with the skillfully subtle correction of Mayim equating China and Taiwan. ❤
Yes, I got that too, the presenter said China, Atsuko, yeah the same in Taiwan…
❤
Yeah I agree, the difference btw China and Taiwan is huge! I am glad she corrected it.
8:35
glad atsuko corrected mayim with "same with taiwan" when mayim initially conflated taiwan with china. taiwan is a country with a culture that can't be more different than china!
My mom was a paranoid schizophrenic too and I'm finally able to be okay with being open to sharing my story.
Family secrets are heavy burdens for kids, even adult age kids. Exposing the secrets really changes the family dynamic but brings the children home to themselves.
to feel safe
😊
"...brings children home to themselves".
gaaawldaaang!....that just made me burst into tears
So true. Personally I’m the last of three on one entire side of the family. As the eldest of a sum total of 2 grandchildren, my younger sibling being the other. Often times that comes with the family burden of maintaining that secret falls to one, as the source of the person in charge of the family narrative.
The one who is expected to hold the family together not by choice but by a truth.
One you very likely should never have been placed with the knowledge to begin with.
there is such a thing as Generational Guilt/Trauma...or infighting: Asians fighting other Asians. "I Love Lucy" is a classic sitcom (with Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz; Vivan Vance and William Frawley). "Scooby Doo (Where are You ?)" - is a classic 1970's comedy cartoon...
I LOVE Atkuko Okatsuka. She is hilarious. I wish this interview had gone longer - her story is fascinating. I hope she's had a good reconnection with her father.
She did. They just visited japan and bonded with him. He watched her do stand up
I fervently thank Jonathan for insisting that Atsuko be your guest here. As a non US resident, I didn’t know her before today. After watching this awesome young woman with both you “at studio” (how better studio episodes are, btw!) at an episode full hilarious, tender, thoughful, optimistic, empathic, joyful & even sad & raw moments in less than one hour I could only say “Thank you Jonathan! Thank you Mayim! Thank you Atsuko!”. How I’ve enjoyed this episode!
Chelsea Handler interviewed Okatsuka when she hosted the Jimmy Kimmel show. And her HBO special is pretty good.
"I want you to feel seen". I love this so much.
I am not at all familiar with Atsuko, and I hung on every word of this interview. What a charming woman! Thank you for this podcast.
My mother is a narcissist, this describes much of my childhood. "Don't make your mother cry". Also,, the food was locked up by junior high. I was the helper among 10 kids and the scapegoat at the same time. UGH.
Thank you, Atsuko, for gently reminding Mayim that Taiwan is a country different from China.
Was almost a bit like ouuuuccchhh. Haha
This was hysterical yet such a deep conversation that went places I didn't expect. Having to take care of a parent and putting others needs before your own is such a hard place to come back from. This story is so unusual how she got through this all. She couldn't trust her own family. She's amazing to have made so much out of herself while living in such chaos. The need for control is something that resonates so deeply with me. I'm still working through and finding it in so many ways. You guys keep bringing these different views and stories of mental health to us. 😊
Listening to Ms. Okatsuka talk about her attachments to family she was trying to create for herself that was outside of the family that created such a chaotic situation for her at such a young age is really therapeutic for me. My closest living blood relative is my older sister, who is incredibly scary for a variety of reasons (I remember hearing a diagnosis of schizophrenia for her when i was 8) and has a variety of behavioral health issues (addiction, probably food stuff, too). I'm 53 and the most attractive thing I find about my current mate is that he has a family that is so normal. Oh, can't they just be my family, please, God? Thank you Dr. Bialik and Ms. Okatsuka for this conversation.
Hi! I'm reading the comments and there are all the usernames with numbers at the end. Are you a bot? May you tell me why you have that kinda username? Thanks
Also I love the Mafalda picture in your profile photo. Go Quino!
Atsuko should definitely try and make a biopic because her life is one of the most interesting and unique things i have ever had the pleasure of learning about.
I'm just binge watching Atsuko's podcast everywhere 😂😂
Have we ever seen a guest that is this active in the comment section? What a wonderful lady ! ❤❤
This is my first time seeing Atsuko, and she is fabulous! ♥
The Taiwanese/Japanese mixed marriage situation is pretty common, just not well-known in the US. Taiwan was a Japanese colony for 50 years, and there’s still a bit of cross-cultural love between the two nations. It was more common amongst the pre-WW2 and Boomer generations, but it still happens a lot. I know a number of “mixed” T/J couples and several expats from both countries who live in the other.
Wasn’t aware of the common mix marriage part but it was quite a surprise to learn about the colony thing when I visited Taiwan last year. There’s so much world history I never learned as an American of mainland Chinese heritage.
She totally taught my Community college theater class… it was a weird class - with a lot of depressing independent films - one in which she wrote and stared in as an early adult.
Hahaha I was not meant to be a teacher
Well I can tell you that out of my four years of college, it’s my best story. When people mention you I get to nonchalantly say “She is hysterical… and I’ve seen her boobs.” So giant thank you for that one! I’m glad you found your niche, you worked hard to get there… and you were a professor not a teacher - don’t sell yourself short of your education.
@@AtsukoComedyI think weird can be meant as a compliment! it sounds like you were a great professor. I would love to take a class taught by you!
Wow. WOW!!! What an amazing guest - phenomenal conversations!
I totally get the attaching too hard thing. When your childhood home is scary, weird, erratic, uncertain and your parents modeled for you that if you marry young and quickly you have a baby and an instant family. that escape becomes the end goal that you count on making you feel secure, stable and complete.
Plus the whole Prince Charming lie our culture feeds our little girls, especially in the 70s when I was raised by MY crazy mom (who I am convinced is not really a mammal based on her lack of interest in her babies an also lied to us). And Atsuko, you hair is so much more than a bowl cut....it is fantastic and a bit Velma from Scooby Doo.
Very Velma from Scooby Doo!
She’s an ideal person to talk about this subject. Much love to you both.
What a story. Thank you for sharing all these different upbringings and experiences in people.
I’m sure many of them ring a bell in many of us and it makes us feel we are not alone and we are not the only ones with hard times and heavy family stories.
I remember when it was extremely embarrassing to talk about childhood trauma or family’s rough stories.
Happy to see how everybody navigated through dark times. ❤❤❤
Atsuko is Hillarious! I love her stand up show❤
Thank you!!
This is hilarious and sad at the same time. 😭 Thank you guys!! 🤍
Thanks for another great episode. Watching these at home where I can take notes definitely helps my mental health!
She played Strobe Rainbow in the movie Wallflower, which that character is based on me and my experience of that night the movie is about. This woman is incredible!
I love you and I'm so glad your light lived on past that tragic night ❤
@@AtsukoComedy thank you!!! Life is beautiful these days!
her laugh is gold
As someone with Complex PTSD, Atsuko's experiences sound understandably trauma based (like the amnesia, fawning, hyper vigilance, dissociation with her feelings and needs, etc). I'm not saying she has CPTSD, I'm just saying that I'm seeing a lot of symptoms that I can personally relate to with my own experiences. I hope she finds the answers to the knowledge she's seeking, it helps so much in helping you to put your experiences into perspective!
I wish her the very best in her life and career! I've only recently discovered her, but I'm but the more I watch her comedy and learn about her life, the more I appreciate her sharing her experiences and comedy! I think her unique comedy style not only brings a lot of joy and laughter, but I think her lived experiences (which a variety of people in different circumstances can relate to) bring up a lot of important discussion points that society needs to discuss more!
What a wonderful woman and comedian. Thank you all so much for an interesting interview. I am so sorry for her suffering. I pray for all the very best that life and love have to offer. ❤️
I can't get enough of Atsuko's standup! It's wonderful to find out she's so funny and charming and real in conversation, too. Looking up interviews with her brought me here, I'll have to check out more Breakdown episodes.
Im so thankful ive found this on CZcams because ive learned something about childhood and parenting and i remember too how i was being brought up, those parenting styles affects me today as an adult..
I just discovered Atsuko today; she was featured on the PBS Newshour last night. I guess I really live under a rock.
Anyway, it was love at first sight and sound. I've now just watched a few clips, and I came across a few podcasts \ interviews.
I didn't know about your podcast, so I'm really happy I discovered it. You are a really good, bad ass interviewer, and smart as a whip.
me too 👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼, she is so cool.
I loved this. Could so relate. Thank you Atsuko for being so open and sharing.
❤thank you... for every moment of this. My soul feels like it got a good hug😊
You both connect... smart, funny, and very conscious and how you come across. A real podcast I can watch every time and feel like you are sitting right next to me!! Great chemistry... with me 😂😂
she was great and what an interesting life/i can't wait to hear her comedy and great questions guys.
Incredible interview with an incredible person. Thank you.
I would love to hear more about the anxiety and fear that one feels growing up with mental illness mirrored by a parent or sibling. I grew up as the youngest child with an older sister that was later diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder. She was 7 years older than me (I was 13, starting high school when she was hospitalized at 20), but the fear was that I was going to be next or “catch it” in some way. I remember any feelings I had suddenly became twisted, and still to this day, I struggle with what is “normal” for me, or how I’ve been affected, and what it all means.
I really enjoyed watching this episode with Atsuko Okatsuka. You have such great guest on this podcast. Much love to you Mayim! ❤
Oh man, I SO want to make a meme of this episode, like, “my friends wanting to just hang and have light, breezy convos and I take them down a psychological spiral” 😂. I am SO Mayim and Jonathan and Atsuko = all my friends nodding and not ready at all for this convo.
And Atsuko at the end with, “I have a B.A. in psychology”. The whole episode is a chef’s kiss. Love you Mayim!
So much of this resonated with me. ❤
The hair! That was awesome. She went to Great Britain and saw her hairstyle! A friar! I’m dying! The hair is EPIC! 😂
She is hilarious! Love her standup!
Atsuko means caring child. My grandmother was named Atsuko.
❤❤❤ Loved this so much
29:53 I’m 37 years young and my mothers still thinks that “she knows best” if I’m hungry and or cold, and if I need to go to the washroom. Oh boy !!!
i clicked so fast seeing atsuko, cos previously i watched the podcast, kk show, where she talked about her childhood and this is more in depth story
This is a wonderful interview and I still have more than 1/2 left to listen but I got a huge laugh at Jonathan’s joke about what a sweater is!! So very true in my house (my kids will vouch for it)
:) one of my favorite interviews so far...
Only one.. most just boring.. mopey
מעניין ומרתק כמו תמיד תודה רבה מיים ויונתן והצוות😊
Atsuko reminds me of a Japanese Margret Cho. Atsuko is so so funny.
Thank you ❤ she’s an inspiration and friend!!
She should write a screenplay..Hollywood, cast her in comedies..
Ahhh I love Atsuko! 🫶🏼✨
❤you back
Really enjoyed your guest today. I'm wondering if she was able to reconnect with her father. Also, when her grandmother & mother brought her to America, how did they support themselves?
I did reconnect with my dad! We’re very close now 🤗 my grandma had some retirement funds from Taiwan and she had a son in Taiwan that also sent some money
Atsuko had a segment on This American Life where she spoke with her dad. It was really moving, highly recommended 💙
Episode 811
I think the haircut might be from the character of Velma Dinkly on her favorite TV show Scooby Doo!?! 😜
That's really sad. I have memories of my mom being on the phone with my uncle (dad's brother) and he was schizophrenic. Fortunately, I never had to witness any episodes or anything like that. What I remember the most was that he, my pap and my cousin would all look up when my grandma called for Joe because all 3 were/are Joe.
Tig Notaro was mentioned and I have to say beyond being generally hilarious, her Taylor Dayne story..... everytime has me rolling on the floor ..😂😂😂
Thanku mayim and Atsuko!
I wasn’t familiar…now I’m obsessed : thanku and thanku Jonathan
“THE QUEER COMMUNITY” OMG IM DYINGG
😂 🙇🏻♀️
This is one of about sixty reasons that I love Atsuko . WE ARE A DENOMINATION
癒やされます。浸みます。訳してまた聞きます。ありがとうございました。
Love that marriage disclaimer 😅
Yeah I think alot of comedy can be gust expression like msr been 😊 awesome.
I'm gonna glad I was able to listen This was the most Relatible on the topic because I grew up with my mother with that lethal disease. And I was about I believe 11 years old. And taking care of myself i was becoming more observing and self aware. I think currently I laugh about it that now and this was very helpful and comes full circle. 😅😂❤
Are you an only child too?
@@jamiefavreauboudrie6936 Yes :) or I was but got adopted and so did my baby sister
This was a great, funny, enlightening interview, and I'm so glad to have found Atsuko's comedy because of it. However, I think the switch at the end to a Rapid Fire with someone from BetterHelp was abrupt. Why not do the Rapid Fire with Atsuko? They would have been interesting answers.
That is a precision haircut.
so this is wat ur doin madame blossom. i sooo miss that show.
What happened after the last commercial break?? Why do you have a different person? Where is Atsuko?
I noticed that too!
I thought I had lost it for a second! Glad I am not the only one who noticed.
Atsuko has been through a lot!
Mayim, te amo pero i cant with the “ummms” 😵💫
❤❤❤ love
Did the host just said " china and Japan " are so different? I remember Atsuko was talking about her mom is Taiwanese and father is Japanese. and the host just straight think "china and Japan." Will the host misunderstand Ukraine and Russia? Why not pay a little attention to tell the different between Taiwan and china? Kind of disappointed. SMH.
Especially when I click into the channel description to find out who the host is and find them dropping their academic credentials for clout 🥵 I’m like, “why are we bringing up China though” 😭
It’s important you talk about mental health
It’s as important as talking about physical health !
Love the show but today, I have been totally distracted by the bronzed dead baby doll on a plaque that says "Hart of a Champion." ?? Is it a kid trophy? Is it an award? Is it a movie prop? "Enquiring minds wanna know."
I've just realised I can improve my language skills using my face. Hilarious, I can so pull that off. 😂
Its the HAAAAIIIIRRRR
I think she might have wanted to go in a bit deeper on something important that we don’t really emphasize enough here in North America at least, maybe it’s different elsewhere in the world? Idk.
Anyway, I remember in early elementary school that being able to make friends was something teachers kept an eye out for developmentally, but they were always really lazy about it.
Like it didn’t matter if you were making friends or simply being friends with the people that were convenient to be friends with, as long as you had friends no one raised any flags of concern or anything.
But isn’t that kind of problematic? I went through the same thing.
By every account I couldn’t make friends.
I was always friends with the kids in the same boat as me.
Which don’t get me wrong they were great people, but if making friends with someone was a task I had to complete I would not be able to do it.
I just fall into the hierarchy, and the way the teachers reinforced this really taught us that’s just “where we belong”
When I feel like that’s not the case.
Like there were people who I probably would have gotten along better with if it weren’t for the divide between the groups, and the same can be said for the people I WAS friends with.
Why didn’t they like I dunno. Teach us how to do that more?
We’re not supposed to be best friends with everyone I get that, but being so apathetic about half the classes development to the point kids like me were afraid to talk to certain groups while I was the social leader in other groups feels a bit off.
Sometimes I just wanted to follow rather than lead and I didn’t get that opportunity to learn from other kids the same way because there was this wall between us. I managed to break it a few times, but the smallest mishap would just build it right back up again which is something we don’t experience in that “other” group for lack of options.
They got to choose who was around because they could afford to, so there wasn’t that same consistency that made me comfortable enough to be myself around the other group for extended periods of time.
41:30 if ur looking for the clip from the intro
What is the best way to
Reach out to your team regarding an interesting guest? I have a great one!
Did they move for treatment? 22:22
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️👍👍👍👍👍
I went by my step father's name growing up and didn't know my middle name until later. Never thought anything of it. But I guess back in the day they never checked so they enrolled me under a different name. That way my real father wouldn't pop up. He was trying to kill my mom and my uncle basically. Instead of compromising his personality is just to double down. My step dad convinced my mom to actually collect child support (she chose not to ever collect, that's how bad he was). When my dad got the letter from the lawyer he went to the lawyers office and did enough damage that my mom immediately said nope again and dropped the child support. Not unusual for nutty childhoods.
I wonder if she still sees her farther and has contact with him????
I was raised the very same.
❤️🔥
I'm looking in the show notes, who is the bonus guest?
Ah, Betterhelp.
Wonder why HBO skipped Ali Wong?😮
Did Atsuko reunite w/Father ?
disorganization is a part of schizophrenia, so it seems to reason that family members can have features of schizophrenia without having "it"
OMG Mayim, is this a podcast or therapy session?!?😮
I'd love a TV show where the mom is schizophrenic and gma steps in. And it's from the kid's point of view!
Pleaseeee get Ashley Gavin on the pod, she's hilarious and insightful
my father was actively paranoid schizophrenic.
This interview was really awkward at the end. The quiet moments are Jonathan and Myiam didn't know that they should laugh at the joke.
😎👌👊👍✊🍁
It'd be nice to see Haley Tju here, heck I thought initially from the thumbnail that it's gonna be the case here.
You switched people near the end of this
Bobby lee, what happen transitioned. Kalylae broke his hart.❤❤❤
I have maniac depressive father and paranoid pschitzophrenic sister. Grew up in mental hospital. Grew out of it. There's hope with yoga - meditation.
Rapid fire is not Atsuko.
'China and Japan are two very different places'. Really ? Wow - who knew .....