The Unlovable-Self - The Wound Became Your Identity / Community Conversations
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- čas přidán 22. 11. 2017
- Hello. Thanks for checking out my CZcams channel.
In my videos, I like to talk about Psychology, Healing Attachment Trauma, Relationship Repair, Inner Child Self-Re-Parenting, Love Addiction, Codependency, Grieving Break Ups, Family Programming, Fantasy Relationships, The Romantic Narrative, Primal Panic, Trauma Bonding, Double-Binds, Attachment Styles, Couples Counseling, Better Boundaries, Shame and Self-love, CPTSD Breakthroughs, Emotional Availability, and Body-Focused Psychotherapy for Healing Trauma..
☑️ Heal Your Relationships = #relationships
☑️ Trust Your Intuition = #selfcare
☑️ Repair w/ Counseling = #psychology
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Alan Robarge, LPC, Licensed Professional Counselor,
Attachment-Focused, Trauma-Informed,
Psychotherapist and Relationship Educator
Emotional Connections Matter!
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The Unlovable-Self - The Wound Became Your Identity / Community Conversations
This video is about the belief that you're unlovable. When relationships don't work out the belief kicks in and says you're unlovable. I talk about how we can get over-identified with the belief where it's no longer a feeling, it becomes how we understand our identity.
Questions to answer in the comments section:
What is one thing you learned from listening to this video?
What is one takeaway you can apply to your personal healing process?
Remember to leave a comment. What is your takeaway from this video?
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☑️ Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz:
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☑️ Learn about The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course: www.healingattachmenttrauma.c...
☑️ Learn about Improve Your Relationships Community:
www.alanrobarge.com/community
☑️ Learn about Grieving and Pet Loss Course: Coming Soon
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☑️ Learn about Healing Heartbreak Course: Coming Soon
☑️ Learn about my new book: Coming Soon
☑️ Follow me on Instagram:
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☑️ Want to learn more about relationships? Then, sign up for the Everyday Relating Questionnaire.
www.alanrobarge.com/everydayr...
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The Unlovable-Self - The Wound Became Your Identity / Community Conversations - Jak na to + styl
Hello Subscribers:
Thank you for checking out my videos and posting such thoughtful comments. It's inspiring to read your self-reflections and insights. I love how we grow from each other's sharing.
One thing I have learned after years of reading comments is that we are not alone. Many of us have the same experiences when it comes to relationships. We are all trying to make sense of attachment trauma and learn better skills of relating.
Great job everyone - keep going and keep learning!
As I'm sure you can understand, I'm not able to respond to all the comments and questions here on CZcams. I know this can be disappointing sometimes. Please forgive me. It is challenging to find the time for the careful consideration that is needed in order to respond to your heartfelt reflections. Even so, your vulnerability shines through.
I know behind each comment is a real person with real feelings who's hurting or who’s reporting a triumph. I know you are doing the best you can while trying to make sense of life’s suffering. We are all grappling with what it means to be human. I’m sorry that I’m not always able to respond to your comments directly.
That being said, I'm sharing this post to offer you a few resources in an attempt for us to stay connected. Keep in mind that I do read most comments here on CZcams. Your words are received. I review comments daily, which serves as a way to organize content for future videos.
If you have a question or an idea for a video that you think is important to explore when it comes to learning about relationships and healing attachment trauma, then I want to hear about it. Please submit your questions and ideas here: www.alanrobarge.com/questions
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Many of us want to know how to heal, how to change, how to be more secure in our relationships. This is why I created the course The Four Attachment Distress Responses.
Many of our behaviors in relationships are habitual - meaning we act out of autopilot. Our autopilot Response comes from past conditioning of negative experiences. When attachment injuries go unaddressed, we become insecure in our relationships.
The Four Attachment Distress Responses Course describes each specific type of guardedness, which is how we try to protect ourselves from getting hurt again, while also attempting to get our attachment needs met.
While we cannot change the past, we can change how we respond in the moment and in the future. This course offers you insights and tools as new ways to respond in your relationships. The Four Responses are Poking, Running, Hiding, and Submitting. You’re invited to take the quiz to learn more about your Response.
Take The Four Attachment Distress Responses Quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
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I created an 8-week program and membership community based on the guiding principle of Self-Directed Healing Work #selfhealers that I want to share with you. The community is called Improve Your Relationships. The focus is about healing attachment injuries in the context of relationship repair in all areas of our lives.
When we look at the big picture of how attachment injuries and attachment trauma occurred in our lives, we are able to begin seeing our relationship choices from a whole new perspective. We gain access to inner resources that shift how we relate and respond to old hurts. It's a process. It's layered. It requires commitment. This is what the community is all about - committing to your healing work.
You are invited to join us. The community members are kind and supportive. We are an established group. The feedback and testimonials have been overwhelmingly positive.
Please check out the link for more information: www.alanrobarge.com/community
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Also, in addition to checking out my course and/or joining us in the Community, please consider becoming a Sustaining Supporter by making a financial contribution.
Your contribution helps guarantee continued quality and accessible content. If you benefit from my videos and want to show your support for the value offered, then please make a donation: www.alanrobarge.com/donate
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Thank you for being a channel subscriber and watching my videos.
And remember, we invest in our healing work because “Emotional Connections Matter!”
Best regards,
Alan Robarge
Attachment-Focused Psychotherapist
www.alanrobarge.com/
It's just such a painful feeling to want something so much cuz everyone around you gets to have it, but you don't get to have it. No matter how much you try to reach for it; life, and the universe, and the entire world gets to feel wanted and desirable, but not you. And you try to accept the fact that you'll never even get to taste what most people get multiple servings of a day, but it just eats away at you until you feel like a hollow shell of who you used to be. Too overcome by the years of loneliness and being taunted from every direction by a life that could've been yours being lived by people who rarely even consider how privileged they are to have someone that makes them feel worthy of being loved.
this is so true its a story of my life i felt goosebumps while reading your comment
This ☝️
We are obviously not alone though
this is so real
I hope this video helped you and you've started changing how you feel about yourself.
Not a lot of people feel privileged to be loved. Most r lonely and traumatised just like you. Appearances r very deceptive
I feel like I self sabotage. I get close to someone and then back away because I wonder how they could ever love someone so unlovable. It’s so painful.
Empathy to you. I hear you. Many of us can relate with this pattern. You sound self-aware. Thanks for commenting.
If you'd like to learn about how to change this pattern then you may be interested in the course, The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Learn more by taking the quiz. www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
I used to do the sameeeee.
Glad I found this video. I had an epiphany some days ago. People often tell others that they need to love themselves first before others can do. I've always found that to be a shortcircuit. Something felt entirely wrong with that message. BTW, it evokes shame too.
There are more steps. 1. Childhood neglect 2. You become your wound and accept it as your identity 3. You cannot bear your "identity", hence you neglect and push others away before they can do it to you, and in doing so, they confirm that you are unlovable 4. Your internalized rejection (aka self-rejection) is reflected back to you by others.
That is a whole different story.
I thought it was just me that hated hearing that, cuz every time I heard it, it kind of reenforced my own thoughts of self-loathing. My thought process was/is usually "wow if no one can love someone that doesn't love/hates themselves, then for certain I'm undesirable and will never be truly wanted by anyone" which of course makes me spiral into the "anyone that says anything positive about me is just doing so out of pity" mindset
@@calamitywayblight4752
This paradigm of "love yourself first before others can" is misleading. It is humiliating. It also make you believe that everyone else who is with someone has already mastered this task, while you have not. And that's not true!
People enter into relationships for different reasons. Most of the time, they connect with each other through their wounds and traumas. They haven chosen a different way to express / neglect their wounds.
There is a kernel of truth in that statement. But it is not the way or the condition, it is the result of healing. Big difference!
@@Applepie910 And the fact that I'm the only one that's responsible for my own happiness is even scarier to me. Cuz the same part of my brain that tells me I don't deserve love and happiness, also makes me feel like I don't deserve to get better. Not only that, but it also tells me that I deserve to get mistreated and be abused 😢
@@calamitywayblight4752 Rephrase it to "I can learn to be able to have a satisfying, healthy and happier life". Many of these statements are not wrong, but they are shortcuts that have spilled over from the New Age sphere, lacking foundation and emphaty.
You are at the right place here on this channel to pave your way towards healing. Blessings!
Feel like my story.
Wowowowwowow this Psychotherapist is on the level of enlightened people!!! Wowowow awesome to see you out there doing that!
Whenever I try self-compassion techniques, one and/or another thing happens. Either I have this sense of forcing the feelings of compassion onto myself, leading to much dissapointment, and another reason to beat my self up some more. Or, I feel a shield/wall surrounding me, blocking the kindness from entering, because I don't feel like I deserve it. In a nuthsell, trying to tell myself that "I deserve happiness and I'm good enough", brings me more pain. The same thing happens when anyone else, family or partner or friend, says something nice to me. I hurt more. What can I do?
I’ve been struggling with this exact thing myself too. I think it’s because we need “evidence” that we are loved by others like getting compliments or just having people tell you nice things about yourself and so on
Kati Morton has a great video about feeling unworthy and accepting sympathy. I hope you get better.
I'm late to the party, but I think it's because you don't believe yourself. Validation from others is helpful, however, there's something I believe is more helpful. That's the basic belief that we ALL have a primal right to survive...love and feel loved. Welcome to allowing yourself to be human. 🥰🥰🥰
It’s been two years since you posted this. In case you’re still open to responses, I’d say the solution does not lie in relying on other people’s compliments because it is not like the more you receive, the more likely you become to magically break the wall. The problem resides inside your head and your belief. I think seeing a therapist would help you immensely. But if you’re not seeing one or cannot afford one, reserve some moments with just yourself. In these moments, talk to yourself and curiously explore the origins of this belief. Ask yourself inquisitive questions, like how a certain situation made you feel and why and what it meant. Soon one answer will lead to another question and so on. Be determined and allow yourself to find answers, even if you’re uncertain of them. In this case, explore several possibilities. One day, a bell will ring or a light will shine at the end of the tunnel. As mentioned in the video, one of the ways of resolving suffering is by allowing yourself to dive in it in order to find the way out. It’s important you know how to properly deal with this approach so you’re sure not to hurt yourself more, though. If you’re uncertain, know that these are tools usually provided by a therapist.
Same here
I think I’m in the disconnection stage. I have felt worthless and unloveable everyday of my life since I was very little. I recently started to work on my self esteem and through that it is how I’ve managed to start doubting those negative beliefs about myself. What I’m struggling with is gathering evidence for the new positive beliefs I’m trying to integrate though. I’m pretty lonely and don’t have much friends so it’s hard not to slip back to my old negative, self-hating ways a lot of times since I’m often isolated and don’t have much human interaction.
Hi, I know I'm a stranger, but I feel very similarly. How are you doing in these times of social distancing?
Hi VL , how are you doing?
sounds like you were a scapegoat.....try to see how broken everyone is, them, you, me, and then decide what kind of a person you want to be, like them or something else...and be it. good people dont vindictively hurt others. a good life is hard work.
I hope you’ve healed. This fucking sucks
Same here, I don’t have friends and I’m not close to any of my family members. It’s very lonely and it’s super easy to slip back into my old ways of thinking.
Alan I really need to compliment you for this: your videos are so 'human'. Whenever I feel down and want to understand what is going on with me, what has been triggered and how to take action you videos are the most helpful. And this is because they not only offer valuable information, but they feel so validating, so authentic. They make me feel like I'm safe, supported and choosing to heal. Thank you!
I appreciate the encouraging comment. Good for you noticing your feelings and responding by seeking out resources. A common practice in the community is to create weekly planners, which strengthen our sense-of-agency to take action for ourselves. Thank you for valuing my work. Glad you are researching healing resources.
I never knew that I was unlovable until I had a mystical experience where I was hit in an instant with the all knowing that “I am unlovable “ was the core belief. At that moment all instances lined up themselves in a line and all together, bear in mind that I describing a mystical experience, and in that time it was my truth. It was my truth that I thought of myself as unlovable. I started historically laughing about this untrue belief. Of course I’m lovable. I’m kind and beautiful woman and I actually like myself. There is nothing wrong with me, only a broken brain which thinks untrue thoughts, haha. I accept it and I love it. I don’t wait for anyone anymore to love me. I do the job, I’m worth it.
I just had a similar experience. I was actually asking myself in meditation where my fear comes from. I wanted to know what was the root of fear that plagued me since I was a child. The fear was not a specific thing. It was a generalized fear that had a life of its own and was crippling me in so many areas of my life. When the answer came to me, I was astounded. The fear is rooted in guilt - guilt for existing! Imagine the shock I got to discover this - it was an overwhelming sense of pity and sorrow for the child within me. The guilt, shame and fear are inter related to my birth. My parents were not happy I was born. I have been feeling guilty since I was a baby for the money my parents complained about for my food and clothes. I was a source of misery for them and even though they never abused me, I picked up on it in the difference in the way they treated my sister and I. When I was a little older I wouldn't ask for anything - I always felt like I was begging like a beggar because nothing given to me was given with love. Growing up I tried to love people but it was a core belief that I would not be loved in return. I didn't expect love. I was always kind trying to make people feel like they were wanted. Even people who genuinely cared for me and loved me were rejected by me and I couldn't accept their love - I always tried to "pay" them for loving me. Its also why I'm so kind and hypersensitive towards animals. I don't know what to do about it and whether this awareness is enough. This realization hit me like a ton of bricks. You always hear these things like low self esteem or unworthiness but to actually have a sort of spiritual experience where it's realized deeply and not merely an intellectual conjecture is quite something else. I was at a loss at what to tell the inner child, I had no answers.
@@jn8922 oh my goodness.... u just hit the nail on the head for me. I remember being told many times I was a mistake, I didn't meet my father till I was 20. The feeling of being unlovable is so deep rooted I can't dig them out and get rid of them. Really struggling with this right now. It effects every area of my life. And I try to not tell myself I should never have been born, but it's hard because I honestly believe I shouldn't have. It's not just a self pity thing. I genuinely believe my life is a mistake. Thank you for your post... I really appreciate your shared experience.
This is very helpful thank you! This is where I am at I've identified with being unlovable and worthless for so long I have been it! And now I'm unhooking from it feels like grief!! I am going to write a letter of goodbye to that part of me! Thank it for helping and let it go!
I love your videos and really like that way you explain things thank you
Oh this is me. I am the feeling...always gathering evidence. I often thought the only way to stop this was to exit...
I'm too fucked up to be loved. Yea nah. This is a firm belief. Im not greiving for a damn thing. Too many lies. So much bs in the damn world. I just dont deserve love. And im too fucked up as a human being to deserve it.
It is who I am. Theres nothing else.
I tremendously value all your bodies as someone who was abandoned as a child by my mother. Never give up! ❤
Thank you for the comment.
I am doing this work and feel proud of myself 🤗 this has been a 20+ year process and I wish your CZcams channel had been around in 1995! 😆 you are spot on with everything you say 🤩
This is so healing and beautiful. I am so grateful I have found your channel. I am a licensed social worker going through a final discard and it’s been extra shame to know I am a trained clinician and still I have not completed my own healing and am again suffering another discard that should in no way be a surprise and still has brought me so much pain and finally I’ve accepted and seen it - my need to heal and that healing my inner wounds is the only thing to do. No amount of pleading and trying to fix the external works when the inner self has been neglected. I am just so grateful for your videos they speak to the truth and being comfort hope and motivation. You are a blessing.
Acknowledging your imperfections is what helps me (and hopefully others) see it’s okay to be limited and working on ourselves. It’s okay to be not perfect and working on ourselves
No question mark at the end lol can’t figure out how to edit it. Lol
Bye, raft! Lots of self-care today and onward. xoxo
My dad was absent my whole life and I searched him out. Then I found him and it was uncomfortable to build a relationship so I rejected him. He stopped trying to reach out to me and I was like see I knew he'd abandon me again. Because he never wanted me I thought no man would, so I stopped dating and have been alone. During that time I built my raft of suffering and reflected but I'm letting it go now im to the other side. I see me differently now. I'm going on that adventure with my good enough self.
Good for you and your hard work Eva. I’m glad this one resonates with you. If the information I offer is of benefit, then consider joining us in the membership community, Improve Your Relationships. We are a group of kind, supportive learners who want to make sense of our past relationships and learn new skills of better relating. You’re invited to join us. Here is a link for more info: www.alanrobarge.com/community
I do the work. I get knocked down. I don’t like the loop. This video really resonates. Gotta leave the raft at the shore and run towards my future like my life depends on it. Why, because it does.
Yeah like sink or swim
Is it possible to get rid of it ever?
This is a question I ask myself everyday? Is it possible to ever heal from it and feel normal? I don't know anyone who did it, never seen one comment. All I see is people trying and struggling.
I watched your videos 4 years ago and they helped me a lot with understanding the attachment trauma issues and I felt somehow understood. But really, it is now, after few years of emotional work that I’ve done this really makes sense to me. I am in a place where I can say “Hi Unlovable! I know you’re there and I can see you and feel you but you’re not so painful as you once were!”. It’s such a relief after those horrible years of emotional pain. I’m so proud of myself that I managed to go through these shitty feelings and now with some new insights from same videos I can go even further to reach my truest happy self. Guys, it is really working but you really have to throw yourself to a deep journey of feeling and understanding your emotions. Thank you Alan I really appreciate your work! 😊
Yeah I agree but when feeling unlovable becomes my identity I become so unreachable and scared, I feel stuck and the addictions and behaviours I used to protect me become extremely self destructive and out of control, my life and health rapidly fall apart which emphasises the unlovable feeling. I feel like dying is the only way out when I reach a certain stage or depth of misery.
Ohhh, this is pure gold! Thank you soooo much dr.Alan Robarge! I just can't get enough of your videos! Precious!
Thank you so much for this 💜
I understand now. Most of it. You helped me see through the thick fog.
great post and thank you for making this video. This is a big topic for many people. Thank you
This explains me-completely
That's all I've ever known
Telisha, Many of us can relate. Getting support from others who are learning as well is very helpful for many people. That is one of the reasons I created the Improve your Relationships online community. It is not a therapy group, but a skills learning community which many people find very helpful. I am glad that you are doing your healing work and find this material helpful on your journey. Consider joining in the conversation. You are not alone. www.alanrobarge.com/community
The title of this video sums up my whole life 😅
same 🥲
I love his work!!!!!!!
Thank you!
Very good video! Thank you!!
This is Jennifer Sinclair. This video is all about my mother! I absolutely LOVE Alan Robarge!
Thank you for this
This was so amazing, thank you!!
Glad my work brings benefit. Thanks for valuing my effort.
This topic also comes up in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. You're invited to join us in the conversations: www.alanrobarge.com/community
Really good.
This is incredible, thanks.
Glad to hear this was helpful, you're welcome. You may also like to take the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
I as I watch this video I literally couldn’t hear another word about how great your online community is, which I would love to be a part of.
My frustration comes from my my own disappointment for my financial situation and therefore unable to partake in sharing and learning from others such as myself like you speak of.
Quite interesting that is this particular video that I’m having a reaction to.
I have been feeling extremely unlovable and you’re right the world around me reflects that.....because that’s my filter.
The pain and suffering is near debilitating as I try to remember who I am.
At this point remembering the essence of who I am is what gets me by.
I feel more alone than I could’ve ever imagined possible. With my kids grown and the unforeseen ending of a seven-year relationship,
(2yrs ago now)
I’m literally struggling with maintaining purpose.
Self betrayal has never been more evident as I’ve spent the better part of the last year sleeping with my ex, who’s made it clear doesn’t want a future with me and continuing my isolation from the world to the point of exclusion.
I break my own heart and with your videos I’m learning and understanding why.
Thank you , I appreciate you very much
C
Crystena Hemingway hello. Your comment hit close to home. My experience has left me a loner. I don’t have Facebook or any of that social media; this is close as it comes for me.
Something you said made me want to ask you a question.
I have been paralyzed by my trauma... and have been turned off by anything sexual as a result.... but being so isolated and alone, I never turn down the person who destroyed me. I’ve told her, I cannot turn you down, but I feel like this is so unhealthy... but I just want to be touched so bad( not in a sexual way, but just human interaction. ) that I cave in ... after it’s over i feel worse as I can tell it’s just what she wanted and not bc .... this is difficult. I want to ask you: do you think sleeping with your ex makes things worse and makes your feelings of worthlessness worse? I’m asking bc I feel like it makes things worse for me. But like I said, I’ve been paralyzed, and I’ve forced solitary confinement onto myself to the point I truly don’t know what’s right or wrong anymore.
I have so much bitterness and resentment.... so much it affects me moving on.
I know this may be too personal , but I appreciate your comment, because it helps me to not feel so alone.
Thank you. I need to look into getting your book. You are a very gifted therapist.
Thank you for watching and for being engaged in my content. My book is currently not out, and I'm not sure when that release date will be.
In the meantime, I recommend trying out my course The Four Attachment Distress Responses. In this course, I breakdown and explain, in-depth, the four varying ways we can respond to distress in relationships due to attachment injuries or traumas. This is important for everyone to understand about themselves, especially if their distress response is impacting how they relate to themselves and to others. Learning means growing, growing means healing, and healing means healthier relationships with yourself and with others. Take the quiz now to learn more: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Along with this, I encourage you to consider joining my online Community, Improve Your Relationships. This is a membership space where people from all over come to discuss, learn, grow, and heal from their attachment injuries and traumas. I share various resources within the Community and all of the members are kind, supportive, and encouraging. We'd love to have you join in on the conversation: www.alanrobarge.com/community
You are brilliant and I think this material is just top-notch. Hope everyone discovers and benefits from this amazingly helpful and grounded information.
Thanks again Muu for the kind words. I appreciate all of your supportive comments. Please share this video to friends and others who might also benefit. Thanks.
You are so wise! You describe the process so well…I’ve ditched the raft for the most part .. 🤗
I appreciate the kind words. Thank you for valuing my work.
Also, we talk more about this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I invite you joining us:
www.alanrobarge.com/community
your serie helped me alot. thank you from the bottom of my heart bro. 👍👍👍🙏🤙
I appreciate the kind words. Glad this was so helpful. Thanks for valuing my work.
We talk more about this in the Community Program, Improve Your Relationships. I welcome you joining us:
www.alanrobarge.com/community
Thank YOU man, you are really a life sa ver.
Thanks like always
you're welcome. Thank you for all the comments.
Thank you.
You're welcome.
Its so past time. I'm about of time. I seek peace and not feeling left out.
Thanks for commenting on this video. Being left out is so painful. Glad you are seeking out places to belong.
It's an identity that's reinforced by people who knew you before you became aware of the sham....
Thé unworthiness wound kept me from thé pain of rejection
I hear you and that is great awareness. It's important to reflect on these patterns because they also impact our relationships.
This is the focus of the course, The Four Attachment Distress Responses. Learn more by taking the quiz: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
Thank you
You're welcome. You may also like to check out the relationship quiz. www.healingattachmenttrauma.com/iyr_quiz_2
This is great! Thank you
I love Alan Robarge. Such a kind and perceptive human being.
Thanks for the love. I appreciate the kind words.
resonate
the raft metaphor was accurate 🤯
I saw so much of this in high school, I thought it was normal.
I hear you
The more I affirmed my ex the more she moved away from me.. till we split. She is such a special and beautiful woman , I just couldn't convince her that my eyes were not fooling me , she is really special. She believes and stated she is a bad person.. I gave up
Your story brings up empathy. I'm sorry the relationship didn't work out. These are painful core beliefs. Glad this video resonated for you. Thanks for commenting.
Damn..... you seem to literally be inside my head. I suffer from Aspergers and tend to stutter when nervous. I do have a lot of close friends but in terms of romantic relationships I don’t feel good enough. My reasoning is that Women want a confident and suave Man and I tend to give off an insecure vibe as I never know the right things to say.
These are good insights. Self-reflecting is beneficial for us. Many people can relate with feeling nervous around distress and we have different ways we show up to manage it. Since this is something many of us go through, I created a course on attachment distress responses. Take the Attachment Distress quiz to learn more: www.alanrobarge.com/adrquiz
What we assume asconfidence is usually arrogance. Women need sensitive guys who r strong through expressing vulnerability. This shift will allow you to not fear to be vulnerable yourself
@@stefaniakonstantinidou981 Aw you’re too sweet.
POV: You are being gaslit
Awesome video. Thank you! How much do you charge, I would like therapy w you.
I love myself but I wonder if someone else does.
As imperfect humans we all have some unloveable characteristics.
Love is sacrificial decision.
I choose to love myself because I love that I can love others in spite of my and their issues and problems.
I have been married to a woman for 30+ years who feels the same way.
Thanks for reflecting. I see this video spoke to you.
This is something that comes up in conversations in the Improve Your Relationships Community Program. You may like joining us:
www.alanrobarge.com/community
I am crying 😭😭😭😭
I hear you.
Intégrateur(accepté) thé part of me which thinks am unloveable
9 of my best friends left me and basically chose someone else. I don't think im unloveable i think im nothing
Empathy to you. I'm sorry to hear your friendships ended. Many of us can relate with this painful experience. Be gentle on yourself. Thanks for commenting.
I wish there was a way of changing me, but I'm affraid I am irredeemable. And it's not by choice. There is no such thing as letting go of this "raft" you keep bringing up.
Practice makes perfect.
@@MelodeathxTed Forgive me if I say I'm quite tired of that cliche.
Is this only directed to yo-yo unlovable feelers? There are some of us out there, that are so ugly that we would make Quasimodo look like a Calvin Klein model.
We are the definition of unlovable. I know there is a lot of people saying it is in the inside that counts. But it’s like me telling a homeless that money does not matter.
Do you still believe that for people like us, it is still a psychological issue?
But what if it's true
Your video has been so informative and helpful in identifying the source of my shame.She looks Soo pitiful.Standing in line of the salvation army waiting for hand outs(lol). Better hurry and say goodbye, get her off to shore
Before the president builds a wall
I refuse to internalise thé belief of shame
Yes!
What if I feel unlovable because I am unattractive?
Is it free to join
But what when it's true ?, history has taught you this .